1
00:00:03,068 --> 00:00:05,531
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,099
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:12,665
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:15,865
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:15,934 --> 00:00:19,132
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,532
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:22,601 --> 00:00:24,265
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:24,334 --> 00:00:25,766
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:30,832
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:37,899
WELL, EVERYTHING'S
ALL SET FOR STEWIE'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
11
00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:40,298
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S ALMOST
A YEAR OLD.
12
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,565
YEAH. I'LL NEVER
FORGET THE DAY HE WAS BORN.
13
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,932
ONE MORE PUSH, LOIS.
14
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,531
[Grunting]
15
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,665
THIS IS QUITE A
MIRACLE, MR. GRIFFIN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?
16
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:51,032
YEAH. YOU KNOW I'VE
NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN
A LIVE BABY BEING--
17
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:52,498
OH, GOD!
18
00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:55,266
CONGRATULATIONS,
MRS. GRIFFIN. IT'S A BOY.
19
00:00:55,334 --> 00:00:57,099
WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T THINK
WE'RE THROUGH.
20
00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:58,999
OH, MY GOD!
IS IT TWINS?
21
00:00:59,068 --> 00:01:01,465
NO. IT'S A--A
MAP OF EUROPE.
22
00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:05,498
I JUST CONFIRMED
EVERYTHING
23
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:06,798
WITH THE BIRTHDAY
PARTY PLANNER
24
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,065
AT CHEESIE CHARLIE'S.
25
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,399
WHY CHEESIE CHARLIE'S?
26
00:01:09,468 --> 00:01:10,665
IT'S COOL, DAD.
27
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,732
THEY HAVE THIS
GAME WHERE
YOU PUT IN
28
00:01:12,801 --> 00:01:14,766
A DOLLAR AND YOU
WIN 4 QUARTERS!
29
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:16,099
I WIN EVERY TIME!
30
00:01:16,167 --> 00:01:17,598
I GET TO GO, RIGHT?
31
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,032
WHY CAN'T WE HAVE
THE SAME KIND OF
PARTY WE ALWAYS DO?
32
00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:22,631
PETER, THIS COULD
BE OUR LAST FIRST
BIRTHDAY EVER.
33
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,398
YOU KNOW, WHEN
MEG AND CHRIS TURNED ONE,
34
00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,665
I HAD SO MUCH TO DO,
I MISSED EVERYTHING.
35
00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:31,266
[Sighs]
36
00:01:35,201 --> 00:01:36,765
LOIS, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE THIS!
37
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,232
MEG JUST SAID "DA-DA!"
38
00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,464
HER FIRST WORDS?
39
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,032
THEN SHE STOOD UP BY HERSELF
AND STARTED WALKING!
40
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,332
HER FIRST STEPS?
41
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,399
YEAH.
42
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:46,698
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING IN HERE ANYWAY?
43
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:49,366
♪[Drumming]
44
00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:51,698
[Peter]
ALL RIGHT! HER
FIRST DRUM SOLO.
45
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,032
[People applauding]
46
00:01:53,101 --> 00:01:54,632
WELL, THANKS
TO CHEESIE CHARLIE
47
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,232
I'M NOT GONNA
MISS A MOMENT
OF STEWIE'S PARTY.
48
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,498
I SAY, AM I TO SPEND
THE ENTIRE DAY
49
00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,398
WALLOWING AROUND
IN MY OWN FECES?
50
00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:02,765
A LITTLE SERVICE HERE!
51
00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:03,799
HEY, STINKY.
52
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,899
HAVE WE GOT SOME BIG
PLANS FOR YOU.
53
00:02:05,967 --> 00:02:08,198
PLANS? WHAT THE DEVIL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
54
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,932
IT'S YOUR
BIRTHDAY, DUDE.
55
00:02:10,001 --> 00:02:12,231
SATURDAY'S GONNA BE
REAL SPECIAL, HONEY.
56
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,032
I'VE HIRED A
PROFESSIONAL TO
MAKE SURE
57
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,464
EVERYTHING GOES
JUST RIGHT.
58
00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:16,531
A PROFESSIONAL?
59
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,432
[Gasps]
THERE'S TREACHERY AFOOT!
60
00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:24,465
[Crying]
61
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:26,899
MEG, YOU'RE HOME LATE.
62
00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:28,298
I STAYED AFTER SCHOOL
63
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:29,965
TO TRY OUT
FOR CHEERLEADING.
64
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,265
[Sobbing]
65
00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:33,631
WELL, DON'T KEEP
ME IN SUSPENSE.
HOW'D YOU DO?
66
00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:35,066
I'LL GIVE YOU
A HINT.
67
00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:36,865
I S-U-C-K-E-D!
68
00:02:36,934 --> 00:02:38,332
SUCKED! SUCKED!
69
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:39,932
YAY!
70
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:41,631
AW, I MEAN,
SORRY, HONEY.
71
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,099
GOD, I HATE
HIGH SCHOOL.
72
00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:44,865
I DON'T FIT IN
WITH ANYONE.
73
00:02:44,934 --> 00:02:46,632
BOY. DO I KNOW
THAT FEELING.
74
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,465
♪[Snapping fingers]
75
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:52,832
♪[West Side Story
music playing]
76
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,098
OK, MAN. OK.
77
00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:55,365
YOU ARE REALLY
THROWING ME OFF.
78
00:02:55,434 --> 00:02:57,565
IT'S STEP-KICK,
STEP-TWIRL. GOT IT?
79
00:02:57,634 --> 00:03:00,332
AW, I THOUGHT WE WERE
JUST GONNA RUMBLE
WITH THOSE GREASY SHARKS.
80
00:03:00,401 --> 00:03:03,365
NOT WITHOUT 7 YEARS
OF BALLET AND 2 OF
JAZZ TAP, WE'RE NOT.
81
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,698
FROM THE TOP, PEOPLE!
82
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,298
LOOK, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST HANG
BACK AND STRETCH?
83
00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:09,431
I DON'T GET IT.
84
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,732
THE MORE I TRY
TO MAKE FRIENDS,
THE MORE PEOPLE HATE ME.
85
00:03:11,801 --> 00:03:13,699
LISTEN. YOU'RE A
ONE-OF-A-KIND GIRL
86
00:03:13,767 --> 00:03:14,699
WITH A MIND OF HER OWN.
87
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,198
NOW, SEE, THAT'S
WHAT PEOPLE HATE.
88
00:03:16,266 --> 00:03:17,232
REALLY?
89
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,998
I'M TELLING YOU,
JUST BE THE GIRL
90
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,866
YOU THINK
EVERYONE ELSE
WANTS YOU TO BE.
91
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,766
WOW, IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
92
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,198
THANKS, DADDY.
93
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,465
HI, MOM.
BYE, MOM.
94
00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:28,698
WOW, I HAVEN'T
SEEN MEG THIS HAPPY
95
00:03:28,768 --> 00:03:30,932
SINCE THAT BUS BROKE DOWN
IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE.
96
00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,098
[Gasps]
97
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,532
HI. CAN WE
USE YOUR PHONE?
98
00:03:36,601 --> 00:03:38,832
HOLY CRAP! IT'S THE
CHILDREN OF THE CORN!
99
00:03:40,867 --> 00:03:43,166
MEG AND I HAD A LITTLE
FATHER-DAUGHTER TALK.
100
00:03:43,235 --> 00:03:44,698
WELL, IT SEEMS
TO HAVE WORKED.
101
00:03:44,768 --> 00:03:47,732
HEY I WASN'T JUST
BLOWING SMOKE WHEN
I BOUGHT THIS T-SHIRT.
102
00:03:47,801 --> 00:03:49,999
WELL, YOU'RE
THE NUMBER-ONE
HUSBAND, TOO.
103
00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:52,065
I KNOW. THAT'S WHY
I BOUGHT THIS T-SHIRT.
104
00:03:53,134 --> 00:03:54,132
WHOOPS.
105
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,731
[Stewie]
"DEAR DIARY...
106
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,266
"IT SEEMS THE
DOMESTIC OVERSEERS
107
00:03:58,335 --> 00:03:59,865
"ARE PLOTTING
AGAINST ME.
108
00:03:59,934 --> 00:04:01,332
"THEIR PLANS
SOMEHOW RELATE
109
00:04:01,401 --> 00:04:03,831
"TO THE ANNIVERSARY
OF MY ESCAPE FROM THE WOMB.
110
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,365
"I'M STILL HAUNTED
BY THE MEMORIES
111
00:04:05,434 --> 00:04:06,965
"OF HOW I WAS
INCARCERATED
112
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:08,699
"IN THAT AMNIOTIC ATTICA.
113
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,799
"AS I RECALL,
IT WAS EVERY
POTENTIAL MAN FOR HIMSELF.
114
00:04:34,068 --> 00:04:35,998
"I ALONE HAD REACHED
THE TARGET OBJECTIVE,
115
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,632
"THANKS TO THE
INTREPIDITY
116
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,165
"I DEVELOPED AT
TESTICULAR BOOT CAMP.
117
00:04:40,234 --> 00:04:42,132
"BUT IT WAS A TRAP!
118
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,899
"I WAS IMPRISONED
IN THAT UTERINE GULAG
FOR 9 GRUELING MONTHS."
119
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,965
DAY 171. I'VE SPROUTED
ANOTHER FINGER,
120
00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:50,732
COUNTING THE ONE
FROM YESTERDAY.
121
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:52,998
I'M UP TO 11.
122
00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,965
"AS THE MONTHS OF
SOLITUDE PASSED,
I BEGAN TO GO INSANE.
123
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,865
"IT SEEMED MY PRISON CELL
WAS GETTING SMALLER
AND SMALLER.
124
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:01,132
"I WAS QUITE SURE THAT
SOON I WOULD BE DEAD.
125
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,466
"BUT THEN, A MIRACLE!
THERE WAS A LIGHT AT
THE END OF THE TUNNEL.
126
00:05:04,534 --> 00:05:06,631
"I RUSHED TO FREEDOM,
BUT SUDDENLY I WAS AMBUSHED
127
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,598
"BY A MYSTERIOUS MAN
IN WHITE!"
128
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,331
THE MAN IN WHITE.
OF COURSE.
129
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,999
HE MUST BE THE
HIRED PROFESSIONAL
OF WHOM THEY SPOKE.
130
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,765
HE FAILED TO THWART MY ESCAPE
INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
131
00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:20,632
AND NOW, ONE YEAR HENCE,
HE'S RETURNING TO
RECTIFY HIS MISTAKE AND...
132
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,265
[Gasps]
PUT ME BACK IN THE WOMB!
133
00:05:28,334 --> 00:05:29,898
BOY, IT SURE
IS GREAT
134
00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,365
BEING THIN
AND POPULAR.
135
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:32,565
LET'S GO
THROW UP.
136
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:33,932
SURE!
GOOD IDEA!
137
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,232
HEY, I LOVE THROWING UP.
138
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,832
[All laughing]
139
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:40,732
[Sighs]
140
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,399
HI. I'M JENNIFER.
141
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,699
UH, I'M MEG.
142
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:45,398
OH MY GOD. YOUR
HAIR IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
143
00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:46,598
I JUST WANT
TO BRUSH IT.
144
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:47,665
REALLY?
145
00:05:48,401 --> 00:05:50,132
YOU WANT TO GO THROW UP?
146
00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:52,299
♪[Country music playing]
147
00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:57,432
HEY, DAD, LET'S GO
WHACK SOME MOLES!
148
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,732
NOW, CHRIS, WE'RE
NOT HERE FOR FUN.
149
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,298
[Kids chattering]
150
00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:05,765
NOW YOUR MOM IS
COUNTING ON US
TO DROP OFF THE DEPOSIT.
151
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:09,832
SO, UH, LET'S JUST
DELIVER THE CHECK AND...
152
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:12,698
HONG KONG PHOOEY!
153
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:18,865
YEAH! COME ON!
154
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,298
GO, YEAH! EAT MY DUST!
155
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:23,199
COME ON, MOVE IT!
COME ON! OH, MAN!
156
00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:25,232
CHRIS, THIS
PLACE IS GREAT.
157
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:26,999
HEY, PULL OVER,
YOU BASTARD!
158
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,698
AW, MAN.
159
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:37,565
[Chris]
HEY, DAD, THEY EVEN
GOT GAMES IN THE BATHROOM.
160
00:06:37,633 --> 00:06:39,631
LOOK, I WON
A BALLOON!
161
00:06:39,701 --> 00:06:41,132
OH, WAY
TO GO, CHRIS.
162
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,532
HEY, WHERE'S MY WATCH?
163
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,832
ALL RIGHT. I WON A WATCH.
164
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:46,599
WHAT'S THE DUKES
OF HAZZARD?
165
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,232
HEY, THAT'S
MINE. COME ON.
166
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,299
COME ON, GIVE
THAT BACK!
COME ON!
167
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,431
[Narrator]
FOLKS IN HAZZARD
COUNTY HADN'T SEEN
168
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,765
A WATCH FIGHT
IN A GOOD LONG TIME.
169
00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:57,431
THEM BOYS RASSLED
FOR A FULL 5 MINUTES
170
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,065
BEFORE THE MANAGER
STEPPED IN.
171
00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:00,132
COME ON!
172
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,464
HANDS OFF, FATTY!
173
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:02,732
HEY!
174
00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:04,665
SIR, I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
175
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,032
HEY, I'M A PAYING CUSTOMER.
176
00:07:06,101 --> 00:07:08,799
I GOT A DEPOSIT CHECK
FOR MY KID'S
PARTY RIGHT HERE.
177
00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:12,098
OOH, MR. GRIFFIN.
I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
178
00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,599
WE'RE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO STEWIE'S SPECIAL DAY.
179
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:15,965
WELL, NOW I DON'T KNOW,
180
00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:17,865
AFTER THE EMOTIONAL
TRAUMA I'VE ENDURED
181
00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:20,499
ON YOUR PREMISES,
I THINK I DESERVE
A LITTLE DISCOUNT.
182
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,998
SIR, OUR PRICES ARE SET
BY THE CORPORATE OFFICE.
183
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,431
WELL, THEN MAYBE
I'LL JUST TAKE MY
BUSINESS ELSEWHERE.
184
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,498
GOOD LUCK FILLING
OUR SPOT BY
THIS SATURDAY.
185
00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,132
I GOT CASH!
I'LL TAKE IT!
186
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,198
SUIT YOURSELF.
187
00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:32,098
HEY, WAIT. I WAS
JUST BLUFFING.
188
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:34,265
MY WIFE HAS HER
HEART SET ON THIS PLACE.
189
00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:35,498
HEY! HEY!
190
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,166
CHRIS, THIS IS
A BIG DAY FOR YOU.
191
00:07:39,235 --> 00:07:41,199
THE DAY YOU BECOME
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.
192
00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:42,398
BECAUSE WHEN WE
GET HOME,
193
00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:44,598
YOUR MOTHER IS
GOING TO KILL ME.
194
00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:49,999
SO THE MAN IN WHITE
IS COMING
195
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,865
TO PUT ME BACK
IN THE WOMB, IS HE?
196
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:54,799
IF I'M TO DEFEAT HIM,
I SHALL REQUIRE
PROFESSIONAL FORCES.
197
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:57,966
HERE WE ARE. "COME TO MANAGUA,
198
00:07:58,034 --> 00:07:59,565
"THE MECCA OF MERCENARIES."
199
00:07:59,633 --> 00:08:01,966
I MUST PREPARE
FOR MY JOURNEY.
200
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:03,998
LET'S SEE.
GRENADES, MACE,
201
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,698
BAGGY FULL
OF CHEERIOS...
202
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,365
SO, ARE WE ALL SET
AT CHEESIE CHARLIE'S?
203
00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:13,231
WELL, ACTUALLY,
I--I CANCELED
THE RESERVATION.
204
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,731
WHAT?
[Laughing nervously]
205
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,431
PETER, HOW COULD YOU?
206
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,999
LOIS, I GOT A
VERY GOOD REASON.
207
00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:20,066
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
208
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,732
THESE ARE
ALWAYS CLASSIC.
209
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,298
LOIS, THAT CHEESIE
CHARLIE'S IS--IS NO GOOD.
210
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:25,999
SEE, IT HAPPENED LIKE THIS.
211
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:28,899
[Thunder rumbling]
212
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,866
[Screaming]
213
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,832
WELCOME TO
CHEESIE CHARLIE'S.
214
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:42,899
HEIL, HITLER!
215
00:08:42,968 --> 00:08:44,732
A-A-ACTUALLY,
THE NAME'S GRIFFIN.
216
00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:46,765
I WAS SENT BY MY
SMART, BEAUTIFUL,
217
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,731
AND STILL SEXUALLY
APPEALING WIFE, LOIS.
218
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,465
AH, YES. WE'RE ALL SET FOR
YOUR LITTLE BOY'S PARTY.
219
00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:54,032
I UNDERSTAND WE'RE GETTING
A TERRIFIC BARGAIN HERE.
220
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,565
ABSOLUTELY.
THE CHILDREN GET
TO PLAY OUR GAMES.
221
00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,865
AND IF THEY WIN
ENOUGH TICKETS,
THEY GET A PRIZE.
222
00:08:58,934 --> 00:09:01,132
I HAVE 13 TICKETS
NOW. IS THAT ENOUGH?
223
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,365
OH, SORRY, TIMMY.
BUT YOU NEED 15
TICKETS TO LIVE.
224
00:09:04,433 --> 00:09:05,431
[Screaming]
225
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,265
THEY ALSO GET
FOOD, CAKE,
226
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,865
AND YOUR CHOICE
OF ICE-CREAM FLAVORS,
227
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,932
VANILLA, STRAWBERRY,
CHOCOLATE, OR PEOPLE.
228
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,898
WHAT WAS THAT?
229
00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:13,365
CHOCOLATE. NOW,
GIVE ME THE CHECK.
230
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,898
HOLD IT! LOIS MAY
HAVE HAD HER HEART
SET ON THIS PLACE,
231
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:18,598
BUT I LOVE MY
FAMILY TOO MUCH
TO RISK THEIR LIVES.
232
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,065
COME ON, CHRIS.
WE'RE LEAVING.
233
00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:21,498
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT!
234
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,398
[Screaming]
235
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,565
OH, PLEASE DON'T
MAKE ME ANGRY, PAL.
236
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,698
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE
ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.
237
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,432
[Lois]
ALL RIGHT, PETER.
THAT'S ENOUGH!
238
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:35,732
BRAVO, PETER.
239
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,865
YOU ARE THE SPALDING
GRAY OF CRAP.
240
00:09:37,934 --> 00:09:39,665
PETER, DO YOU KNOW
HOW HARD IT WAS
241
00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:41,532
TO GET A RESERVATION
AT CHEESIE CHARLIE'S?
242
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:43,998
I HAD TO BOOK IT THE
DAY OF MY ULTRASOUND.
243
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,832
WE'LL NEVER FIND
ANOTHER PLACE IN TIME!
244
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:49,266
OH, FOR ONCE, IT WAS ALL
GONNA BE SO PERFECT!
245
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,365
AAH!
246
00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:51,965
COME ON, LOIS.
IT'LL STILL BE PERFECT.
247
00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:53,899
WE'LL GIVE HIM THE
BEST BIRTHDAY EVER
248
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,532
RIGHT HERE IN THE
SAFETY AND COMFORT
OF OUR OWN HOME.
249
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,265
PETER, WE'VE BEEN
OVER THIS.
250
00:09:58,334 --> 00:09:59,965
HONEY, YOU WON'T
HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER.
251
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,766
I GOT US A CLOWN,
A CAKE, A PETTING ZOO,
252
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,532
A BIG-ASS PINATA,
THE WORKS!
253
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:04,632
YOU GOT ALL THOSE THINGS?
254
00:10:04,701 --> 00:10:05,665
YOU BET I DID.
255
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:07,032
WOW.
256
00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:09,832
EVEN CHEESIE
CHARLIE'S DOESN'T
HAVE A PETTING ZOO.
257
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,565
OK, I'LL CALL
THE PARENTS
258
00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:13,065
AND LET THEM KNOW
THE PARTY'S HERE.
259
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:14,665
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
260
00:10:14,734 --> 00:10:15,699
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
261
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,399
PETER, FACE IT. YOU'RE
A TERRIBLE LIAR.
262
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:22,932
AH.
263
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,331
IT WAS YOU.
264
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,365
YOU KNOW, CLOWNS AND
PETTING ZOOS BOOK
MONTHS IN ADVANCE.
265
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:28,398
Y-Y-YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE A TOUGH
TIME FINDING A...
266
00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:29,464
OH, HOLD ON.
267
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,999
[Horses neighing]
268
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,498
[Driver]
YA! YA!
269
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:38,698
[Sighs]
SOME DAY.
270
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,498
WELL, HEY THERE,
LITTLE BOY.
271
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:44,732
ARE YOU LOST?
272
00:10:44,801 --> 00:10:46,065
NOW, LISTEN TO ME,
273
00:10:46,134 --> 00:10:47,298
JOLENE.
274
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,599
I'VE GOT AN ARMY TO RAISE,
275
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:49,998
AND I MUST GET TO NICARAGUA.
276
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,932
I REQUIRE A WINDOW
SEAT AND AN
IN-FLIGHT HAPPY MEAL.
277
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,232
AND NO PICKLES!
278
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,465
OH, GOD HELP YOU
IF I FIND PICKLES.
279
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:57,665
HENRY, I HAVE
A LOST LITTLE BOY.
280
00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:58,932
WELL, HEY THERE,
LITTLE FELLA.
281
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,065
WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH ME?
282
00:11:00,134 --> 00:11:02,333
NO, DAMN YOU! YOU'RE
ONE OF THEM, AREN'T YOU?
283
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:04,198
WHAT ARE THEY PAYING
YOU? I'LL DOUBLE IT!
284
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:05,765
I'LL GIVE YOU
WHATEVER YOU
WANT! MONEY!
285
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,265
WOMEN! MEN?
286
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,465
HEY, DAD, WHAT
ARE WE DOING
HERE AGAIN?
287
00:11:11,534 --> 00:11:12,965
PIGS, CHRIS.
WE'RE GETTING PIGS
288
00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:15,032
FOR STEWIE'S
PETTING ZOO.
289
00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:16,999
[Blowing]
290
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,365
[Squealing]
291
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,465
CRAFTY SWINE.
292
00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:26,799
U.P.S.
293
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:28,565
HEH, LITTLE BASTARDS
AIN'T AS SMART AS...
294
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:29,366
AH!
295
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,799
HI, MOM.
THIS IS JENNIFER.
296
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,065
SHE GAVE ME
A RIDE HOME.
297
00:11:34,134 --> 00:11:36,498
MEG, YOU MADE A FRIEND.
298
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,565
WHAT A LOVELY
HOUSE, MRS. G.
299
00:11:38,634 --> 00:11:41,665
MEG, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
YOUR MOTHER WAS JUST
LIKE MARTHA STEWART.
300
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,032
OH, NO. ONCE YOU
GET TO KNOW ME,
301
00:11:44,101 --> 00:11:45,831
I'M REALLY VERY NICE.
302
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,632
YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICE?
HAVING A FRIEND LIKE MEG.
303
00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:49,731
AND KITTENS.
304
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,532
IT WAS SUPER
SWELL MEETING YOU.
305
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,565
BYE, MEG.
FRIENDS FOREVER.
306
00:11:53,634 --> 00:11:54,765
FOREVER AND EVER.
307
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:57,232
[Both giggling]
308
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,665
WOW! WHAT
GREAT YARD!
309
00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:00,798
GUESS WHAT, MOM?
310
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:02,865
JENNIFER INVITED ME
TO A PARTY ON SATURDAY.
311
00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:04,065
THIS SATURDAY?
312
00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:06,298
MEG, YOU CAN'T MISS
STEWIE'S FIRST BIRTHDAY.
313
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,865
BUT MOM--
314
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:10,232
MEG, OUR ENTIRE FAMILY
IS GOING TO BE HERE
FOR STEWIE'S PARTY.
315
00:12:10,301 --> 00:12:12,299
AND THAT INCLUDES
YOU. UNDERSTOOD?
316
00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,565
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D
PUT YOUR FAMILY
317
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:16,532
BEFORE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER!
318
00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:18,332
SHE'S A WHINY
LITTLE RUNT, ISN'T SHE?
319
00:12:18,401 --> 00:12:19,398
[Gasps]
320
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:20,465
I SAID "RUNT."
321
00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,331
I--I DON'T THINK I'M
IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
322
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,532
I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY
TO ENTERTAIN THE
KIDS AT MY SON'S BIRTHDAY.
323
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,265
OH, SURE.
I CAN DO THAT.
324
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,731
YOU DO CHILDREN'S
PARTIES?
325
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,765
YEAH. I CAN DO,
LIKE, A HANDSTAND,
326
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,532
AND SOME
SOMERSAULTS MAYBE.
327
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,365
I CAN MAKE PRETEND
LIKE THE CHILDREN
328
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:38,099
ARE LITTLE BUGS
IN MY WEB.
329
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,165
DO YOU KNOW YOUR
PHONE NUMBER, SON?
330
00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:45,831
THE ONLY WAY
YOU'LL GET ME TO TALK
331
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,432
IS THROUGH SLOW,
PAINFUL TORTURE.
332
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,165
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU'VE GOT THE GRAPES!
333
00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:52,098
OH, IT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO HOME.
334
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,298
ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY?
335
00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,832
STEWART GILLIGAN
GRIFFIN RUNS FROM NOTHING!
336
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,431
YOU KNOW, SON,
RUNNING AWAY
NEVER SOLVES ANYTHING.
337
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,032
YOU'RE GETTING TO
BE A BIG BOY NOW.
338
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:03,099
AND PART OF GROWING
UP MEANS FACING YOUR
PROBLEMS HEAD ON.
339
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,266
HMM, THE RUPTURED
CAPILLARIES IN YOUR NOSE
340
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:07,266
BELIE THE CLARITY
OF YOUR WISDOM.
341
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:10,399
YOU'RE SAYING I MUST
RETURN TO FACE THIS
MAN IN WHITE MYSELF.
342
00:13:11,101 --> 00:13:12,299
SO BE IT.
343
00:13:12,368 --> 00:13:14,199
AS FOR YOU, KIND
SAGE, I ONLY HOPE
344
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:16,032
MY HEARTFELT THANKS
WILL KEEP YOU WARM
345
00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:17,399
AS YOU SPEND THE
NEXT 10 YEARS
346
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,598
IN FROZEN CARBONITE!
347
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:25,799
WELL, PETER, YOU'VE
ONLY GOT A COUPLE
OF HOURS LEFT.
348
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:28,932
IF YOU'RE GONNA PULL
A PARTY OUTTA YOUR ASS,
YOU'LL WANT TO STAND UP.
349
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:30,198
DAD MY
FRIEND JENNIFER
350
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,831
INVITED ME TO
HANG OUT WITH
HER FRIENDS.
351
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:33,432
CAN I GO?
352
00:13:33,501 --> 00:13:35,398
OH, NO. I WON'T
FALL FOR THIS TRICK.
DID YOU ASK YOUR MOTHER?
353
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,465
YES.
354
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:38,199
OK, THEN. HAVE
FUN, SWEETHEART.
355
00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:39,932
THANKS, DADDY!
356
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,165
BRIAN, STEWIE'S
BIRTHDAY IS GONNA SUCK.
357
00:13:42,234 --> 00:13:44,332
THE ONLY STUFF I COULD
GET ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE
358
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,465
WAS A CAKE AND
THAT BIG-ASS PINATA.
359
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:49,632
I SURE HOPE CANDY
COMES OUT OF THAT.
360
00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:51,565
FACE IT, BRIAN.
I'M A BAD FATHER,
361
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:54,199
A LOUSY HUSBAND,
AND A SNAPPY DRESSER.
362
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,866
I'LL NEVER BE
ABLE TO FACE LOIS.
363
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,266
WELL, THE CIRCUS
IS IN TOWN.
364
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:58,965
MAYBE YOU COULD
RUN AWAY AND JOIN IT.
365
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,032
THE CIRCUS!
366
00:14:00,101 --> 00:14:02,132
♪[Circus music playing]
367
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,832
[Elephant trumpeting]
368
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:26,965
HI. THIS IS
THE RIGHT
DAY, ISN'T IT?
369
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,298
OH, YES.
370
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:29,832
PETER SHOULD BE
BACK ANY MINUTE
371
00:14:29,901 --> 00:14:31,599
AND THEN WE
CAN START THE PARTY,
372
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:32,698
[Chuckles]
I HOPE.
373
00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:36,198
HEY, LOIS, LOOK.
374
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:38,598
THE 2 SYMBOLS OF
THE REPUBLICAN PARTY,
375
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:41,099
AN ELEPHANT AND
A BIG FAT WHITE GUY
376
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,632
WHO'S THREATENED
BY CHANGE.
377
00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:46,166
OH, PETER, THIS IS
THE MOST WONDERFUL
CELEBRATION
378
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,665
I COULD HAVE
IMAGINED.
379
00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:48,965
YEAH. HEY,
WHERE'S STEWIE?
380
00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:51,299
HE'S UPSTAIRS,
RESTING UP FOR
HIS BIG DAY.
381
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,766
I'LL GET HIM.
382
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,632
IF YOU SEE MEG,
TELL HER TO TAKE
PLENTY OF PICTURES.
383
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,665
MEG'S NOT HERE.
SHE WENT TO A
FRIEND'S HOUSE.
384
00:15:06,734 --> 00:15:09,299
WHAT? SHE'S GONNA
MISS STEWIE'S BIRTHDAY.
385
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,965
I DROPPED HER
OFF AN HOUR AGO.
386
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,464
BOY, IS SHE GONNA
BE SORRY, OR WHAT?
387
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,765
OH, PETER.
388
00:15:13,834 --> 00:15:15,665
HOW COULD
YOU LET HER GO?
389
00:15:15,734 --> 00:15:18,065
JEEZ, WHAT'S THE BIG
DEAL? SO MEG'S WITH
HER NEW FRIENDS.
390
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,565
THEY SEEMED LIKE
SOME NICE KIDS.
391
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:23,999
I'M SO GLAD
YOU COULD
JOIN US, MEG.
392
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,899
WE'RE GONNA
HAVE A GREAT
TIME ON OUR TRIP.
393
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,398
A TRIP? LIKE
TO THE BEACH?
394
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:28,966
'CAUSE I DIDN'T
BRING MY SWIMSUIT.
395
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:30,998
OH, YOU WON'T NEED
ANYTHING WHERE
WE'RE GOING.
396
00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:33,264
EXCUSE ME. I'VE GOTTA
GO MIX THE PUNCH.
397
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,932
[Gurgling]
398
00:15:56,467 --> 00:15:59,231
HEY, BIRTHDAY
DUDE? DO YOU WANT
SOME ICE CREAM?
399
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,532
YES. BUT NO
SPRINKLES!
400
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,765
FOR EVERY SPRINKLE
I FIND, I SHALL KILL YOU!
401
00:16:05,034 --> 00:16:06,032
AW, COME ON, LOIS.
402
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,665
I HATE TO SEE
YOU SO UPSET.
403
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,232
LOOK, WE GOT
ANIMALS. WE
GOT CLOWNS.
404
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,098
I MEAN, A PARTY
COULDN'T BE ANY BETTER
405
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:13,333
IF JESUS HIMSELF
SHOWED UP.
406
00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:15,765
OK, EVERYBODY.
FOR MY NEXT MIRACLE,
407
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:18,166
I'M GONNA TURN
WATER INTO FUNK.
408
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,799
♪[Funk music playing]
409
00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:25,198
PETER, THE
CIRCUS IS TERRIFIC.
410
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,732
BUT IT'S NOT JUST
STEWIE'S BIRTHDAY.
411
00:16:27,801 --> 00:16:31,065
WE'RE ALSO
CELEBRATING THE DAY
OUR FAMILY BECAME WHOLE.
412
00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:33,699
TODAY MEANS NOTHING
IF MEG ISN'T HERE.
413
00:16:39,234 --> 00:16:41,798
MEG, YOU SEEM SAD.
TODAY'S A HAPPY DAY.
414
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,732
I KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT...
415
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,631
WELL, I REALLY LIKE
THAT GUY OVER THERE.
416
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,698
BUT HE DOESN'T
EVEN KNOW I EXIST.
417
00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:49,898
HE MUST THINK
I'M A TOTAL DOG.
418
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,799
OH, THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
419
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:52,899
THEN WHAT IS IT?
420
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,366
HE'S A EUNUCH.
REALLY?
421
00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:56,532
SURE. ALL THE GUYS HERE
HAVE BEEN CASTRATED.
422
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,599
IT'S COOL.
423
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:58,999
HEY, DO YOU THINK
THAT GIRL IS HOT?
424
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,499
NO.
ME NEITHER.
425
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:03,665
[Elephant trumpeting]
426
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,299
HEY, YOU.
HIT ME.
427
00:17:06,368 --> 00:17:08,165
THERE. NOW, IF I
CAN JUST FIND A MIDGET
428
00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:09,999
WITH SOME GIN,
I'LL BE IN BUSINESS.
429
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,198
HEY, WHERE
ARE YOU OFF TO?
430
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,898
I GOTTA MAKE
THINGS RIGHT FOR LOIS
431
00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:14,565
AND GET THIS
MONKEY OFF MY BACK.
432
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,099
OW! KNOCK IT OFF!
HEY! HEY!
433
00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:19,232
ALL RIGHT, MEN,
THE MAN IN WHITE
434
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,332
IS COMING TO PUT
ME BACK IN THE WOMB.
435
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,398
TODAY HE
COMES FOR ME,
436
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:25,398
BUT TOMORROW IT COULD
BE YOU OR YOU!
437
00:17:25,467 --> 00:17:26,866
I OFFER YOU
THE OPPORTUNITY
438
00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:28,698
TO JOIN ME IN
GLORIOUS BATTLE.
439
00:17:28,767 --> 00:17:30,732
I KNOW THAT FOR
SOME OF YOU,
YOUR MOTOR SKILLS
440
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,798
ARE NOT YET
DEVELOPED.
441
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,898
SADLY, YOU WILL
BE USED AS DECOYS.
442
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,432
BUT YOUR
CHILDREN'S CHILDREN
443
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,598
WILL KNOW THAT
YOU FELL FOR
A NOBLE CAUSE.
444
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,032
NOW, WHO'S WITH ME?
445
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,098
DUCKIE?
446
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,399
AH! USELESS, EVERY
ONE OF YOU! FINE.
447
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:45,565
I'LL DEFEND MYSELF,
AND THE HELL
WITH ALL OF YOU!
448
00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:48,498
THERE, I'VE GONE
AND SOILED MYSELF.
449
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,465
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
450
00:17:50,401 --> 00:17:51,699
[Bell gongs]
451
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:54,166
OOH, OUR LEADER
IS HERE TO TAKE
US ON OUR JOURNEY!
452
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:57,099
MY CHILDREN, REJOICE.
453
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:59,565
THE HOUR OF
TRANSFORMATION
IS CLOSE AT HAND.
454
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,631
WHO ARE YOU?
455
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,099
THIS IS MEG,
O, WISE ONE.
456
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,498
CAN SHE COME
WITH US?
457
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:07,265
PERHAPS. DO YOU
HAVE A MIND THAT
SEEKS ENLIGHTENMENT
458
00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:08,932
AND A HEART
THAT SEEKS PURITY?
459
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:10,965
WELL, NOT REALLY.
460
00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:12,965
OK. ARE YOU A
CONFUSED ADOLESCENT
461
00:18:13,034 --> 00:18:14,398
DESPERATELY
SEEKING ACCEPTANCE
462
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:17,232
FROM AN
UNDIFFERENTIATED EGO MASS
THAT DEMANDS CONFORMITY?
463
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,299
WOW, THAT SORT OF
SOUNDS MORE LIKE ME.
464
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:23,065
GREAT! THEN ALL
YOU NEED IS A DARK-
BLUE JOGGING SUIT.
465
00:18:23,134 --> 00:18:24,665
LET'S SEE WHAT
WE HAVE IN STOCK.
466
00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:25,899
WHAT ARE YOU?
ABOUT A 9?
467
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:27,798
[Laughing]
NO. A 6.
468
00:18:28,768 --> 00:18:30,965
[Chuckling]
RIGHT.
469
00:18:31,034 --> 00:18:33,065
DISPENSE THE REFRESHMENTS.
470
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:37,265
AW, MEG,
THERE YOU ARE.
471
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,998
DAD, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
472
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:40,765
OH, I'M SO EMBARRASSED,
I COULD DIE!
473
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:42,432
HEY, HEY, NOT
BEFORE THE
REST OF US!
474
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,932
MEG, YOUR MOTHER
WANTS THE FAMILY
TOGETHER TODAY.
475
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,531
IT'S JUST STEWIE'S
BIRTHDAY.
476
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,266
SO WHAT IF I'M
NOT THERE?
477
00:18:48,334 --> 00:18:49,565
WHO'S GONNA REMEMBER?
478
00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:51,932
YOUR MOM WILL,
TRUST ME. SHE
REMEMBERS EVERYTHING.
479
00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:54,132
IN FACT, SHE ALWAYS SAYS
THE BEST MEMORIES SHE HAS
480
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,798
ARE WHEN
YOU KIDS WERE BORN.
481
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,632
AW, JEEZ, MEG,
THAT'S IT.
482
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:00,333
THIS DAY IS MORE
FOR YOUR MOM THAN
IT IS FOR STEWIE.
483
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,765
AW, WITH ALL
SHE'S GIVEN US,
484
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,432
SHE OUGHTA GET
WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
485
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:04,732
AND, MEG,
486
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:06,665
TODAY SHE WANTS
YOU TO BE WITH THE FAMILY.
487
00:19:06,733 --> 00:19:08,066
REALLY?
488
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,832
AW, DADDY, YOU
MUST THINK I'M THE
WORST DAUGHTER EVER.
489
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,032
AW, NO YOU'RE
NOT, HONEY. WHAT
ABOUT THAT FAT GIRL
490
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,165
FROM THE JUDDS?
491
00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:17,331
I'M SORRY I'VE
BEEN SO SELFISH.
492
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,632
I MISS MY MOM.
493
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:19,999
YEAH.
ME, TOO.
494
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,532
I ALSO MISS
MY NADS.
495
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,799
MR. GRIFFIN, CAN
WE COME TO STEWIE'S
PARTY, TOO?
496
00:19:23,867 --> 00:19:25,266
SURE. THE
MORE THE MERRIER.
497
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,365
MEG, YOU HAVE THE
COOLEST FAMILY.
498
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,665
SHE SURE DOES.
499
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,364
HEY, HERE'S TO FAMILY!
500
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:32,431
[All]
TO FAMILY!
501
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,999
OH, JEEZ, LOOK
AT THE TIME!
502
00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:35,199
COME ON.
503
00:19:35,268 --> 00:19:36,765
COME ON, KIDS.
LET'S GET GOING.
504
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:38,465
[Crashing]
505
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,732
AW, SORRY, MEG.
506
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,266
I GUESS IT'S ANOTHER
BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT'D
RATHER FAKE DEATH
507
00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:44,665
THAN GO TO A PARTY WITH YOU.
508
00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:47,665
CHILDREN, THE TIME OF
ASCENSION HAS ARRIVED.
509
00:19:48,401 --> 00:19:50,465
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
510
00:19:50,534 --> 00:19:53,099
HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU EVER
BEEN IN A CULT BEFORE?
511
00:19:53,168 --> 00:19:54,166
DAMN IT!
512
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,598
I CAN'T ACHIEVE
TRANSCENDENCE BY MYSELF.
513
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,899
THAT WOULD JUST MAKE ME
SOME KIND OF LONE NUT.
514
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:01,198
SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO DIE WITH ME.
515
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,066
COME BACK, MEG!
516
00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:08,164
WHOOPS. CAN'T FORGET
MY CEREMONIAL WHITE ROBE.
517
00:20:11,201 --> 00:20:14,564
WELL, I GUESS THERE'S
NOTHING LEFT BUT
THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.
518
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:15,631
RIGHT HERE!
519
00:20:15,701 --> 00:20:16,732
MEG!
520
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,532
I'M SORRY, MOM.
521
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,431
OH, THANK
YOU, PETER.
522
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,465
NO PROBLEM.
523
00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:23,132
I CANNOT WAIT
TO TASTE THIS CAKE.
524
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,966
THE GUY WHO SOLD IT
TO ME SAID IT WAS
DELICIOUS AND EROTIC.
525
00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:27,966
PETER, THERE'S A
NAKED MAN ON THIS CAKE.
526
00:20:28,034 --> 00:20:29,299
THERE WERE ONLY 2 LEFT.
527
00:20:29,367 --> 00:20:31,532
AND TRUST ME, YOU
DID NOT WANT THE ONE
528
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,899
OF AL ROKER WITH THE
HERSHEY KISS NIPPLES.
529
00:20:33,968 --> 00:20:35,431
WELL, GATHER
ROUND, EVERYONE.
530
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,531
IT'S TIME FOR
STEWIE'S BIG MOMENT.
531
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,865
HELLO?
532
00:20:44,934 --> 00:20:46,431
IS ANYBODY HOME?
533
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,098
AAH!
534
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,332
[Stewie]
GREETINGS,
MAN IN WHITE.
535
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,799
I'VE BEEN
EXPECTING YOU.
536
00:20:54,868 --> 00:20:55,865
WHO SAID THAT?
537
00:20:55,934 --> 00:20:57,798
PEEK-A-BOO! I SEE YOU!
538
00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,665
YOU'RE GETTING WARMER.
539
00:21:02,868 --> 00:21:04,298
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
540
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,932
FREEDOM! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
541
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,732
I WANT TO GET
THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
542
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,298
OH, I'M SORRY.
WE'RE FRESH OUT OF THAT.
543
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,798
I'M AFRAID ALL WE HAVE
LEFT IS UNTIMELY DEATH.
544
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,032
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
545
00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:19,532
IT'S A BOY!
546
00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:21,865
[Zapping]
547
00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:23,165
HEY, ANYBODY
SEEN STEWIE?
548
00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:25,298
YEAH. WHERE IS
THE BIRTHDAY BOY?
549
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,699
VICTORY IS MINE!
550
00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:29,399
YES. AND THIS
CAKE IS YOURS, TOO.
551
00:21:29,468 --> 00:21:31,432
HEY, STEWIE,
MAKE A WISH.
552
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,765
IF YOU BLOW OUT THE
CANDLE, IT'LL COME TRUE.
553
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:34,998
THAT'S RIGHT,
LITTLE BUDDY.
554
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:37,331
WHAT DO YOU
WANT MOST IN THE
WHOLE WORLD?
555
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,499
IN THE WHOLE
WORLD, YOU SAY?
556
00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:41,132
[Bomb falling]
557
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,665
[Explosion]
558
00:21:43,734 --> 00:21:45,431
OH, WHAT THE HELL.
559
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,765
♪[Funk music playing]
560
00:21:55,934 --> 00:21:58,098
♪[Theme music playing]