1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,532
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,601 --> 00:00:08,065
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:11,665
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:13,932
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,032
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,298
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,367 --> 00:00:23,032
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,765
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:29,365
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,432
PETER, WE
NEED TO TALK--
11
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:36,431
NOT NOW, LOIS. THE
SHOW'S ABOUT TO START.
12
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:38,532
[Announcer]
BRYANT GUMBEL, GREG GUMBEL,
13
00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:41,065
BROTHERS, BIKE COPS.
14
00:00:41,134 --> 00:00:44,398
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL,
BEACH JUSTICE.
15
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:47,098
♪[Rock music playing]
16
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,465
YOU TALK TO
MATT LAUER LATELY?
17
00:00:59,534 --> 00:01:02,099
MM-HMM. PLAYED
18 HOLES WITH HIM
ON SATURDAY.
18
00:01:02,168 --> 00:01:04,298
TOLD HIM HE
WAS SOFT IN THE
ARAFAT INTERVIEW.
19
00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:05,998
OH, I LIKE MATT.
20
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,798
ME, TOO.
HUH.
21
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:08,965
[Woman screaming]
22
00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:09,932
MY PURSE!
23
00:01:11,101 --> 00:01:13,132
COME ON, GREG.
LET'S ROLL.
24
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,198
[Revs engine]
25
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[Grunting]
26
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,232
[Screaming]
27
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AAH!
28
00:01:50,301 --> 00:01:51,431
UGH.
29
00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:53,265
TASTE THAT?
30
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:55,865
THAT'S THE TASTE
OF BEACH JUSTICE.
31
00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:58,965
LOIS, ARE YOU CRAZY?
32
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:00,098
YEAH, ME
AND DAD
33
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,999
HAVEN'T MISSED A
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL YET.
34
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,932
YOU'RE GONNA
MISS THIS ONE,
YOUNG MAN.
35
00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,598
HIS REPORT
CARD CAME TODAY.
36
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NO MORE T.V.
UNTIL YOUR
GRADES IMPROVE.
37
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:11,298
NOW GET
UPSTAIRS AND STUDY.
38
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DON'T WORRY.
I'LL TALK TO HER.
39
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,665
AFTER I GET A
LITTLE BIT OF
COURAGE
40
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,198
FROM MY OLD FRIEND,
MR. JACK DANIELS.
41
00:02:19,134 --> 00:02:20,532
MRS. DANIELS?
42
00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:22,132
MRS. DANIELS?
43
00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:23,531
IS JACK IN?
44
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:25,965
WHAT?
45
00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:27,498
OH, MY GOD!
WHEN?
46
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,531
OH, I AM SO SORRY.
47
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,731
POOR OLD JACK.
48
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:33,598
HE WAS A WISE MAN,
BUT HE JUST LOVED
49
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,299
PLAYING WITH THAT
WHEAT THRESHER.
50
00:02:35,368 --> 00:02:38,499
ALWAYS PLAYING WITH
THAT WHEAT THRESHER!
51
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,598
HONEY, HOLD
STILL AND LET
ME BATHE YOU.
52
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:41,932
YOU'RE FILTHY.
53
00:02:42,001 --> 00:02:43,999
I'M FILTHY?
I'M FLITHY?
54
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,332
YOU'RE THE FILTHY ONE.
55
00:02:45,401 --> 00:02:47,298
WHAT DO YOU
SAY TO THAT? HMM?
56
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,465
AAH!
HOW DARE YOU!
57
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:51,399
[Sighs]
58
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:53,532
HEY, STEWIE,
I SEE YOUR BUM.
59
00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:55,165
OH, TAKE A GOOD
LOOK, FAT MAN.
60
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,766
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT
IT, TAKE PICTURES SO
I'LL HAVE SOMETHING
61
00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,866
TO BRING TO COURT,
YOU RETCHED,
FILTHY PERVERT.
62
00:02:59,934 --> 00:03:01,365
HEY, LOIS, GIVE
CHRIS A BREAK.
63
00:03:01,434 --> 00:03:02,532
I MEAN, NO T.V.?
64
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:03,698
SO HE FAILED A CLASS,
65
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,331
IT'S NOT LIKE HE
FELT UP HIS COUSIN
66
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,866
IN THE GARAGE THAT
THANKSGIVING WHEN I WAS 19.
67
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:09,732
PETER, I WANT YOU
TO HELP CHRIS.
68
00:03:09,801 --> 00:03:12,966
KIDS DO BETTER WHEN PARENTS
TAKE AN INTEREST
IN THEIR SCHOOLWORK.
69
00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:14,798
I SAW THAT
ON A 2-PART
REPORT ON
70
00:03:14,867 --> 00:03:16,999
DATELINE TUESDAY AND
DATELINE GATILSDAY.
71
00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,266
WHAT THE HELL
IS GATILSDAY?
72
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,698
OH, N.B.C.
INVENTED A
NEW DAY
73
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,199
SO THEY COULD
ADD ANOTHER
DATELINE.
74
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,232
BUT THE GUMBEL
SHOW IS SACRED TO US.
75
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,098
BRYANT AND GREG
HAVE THE KIND OF
FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP
76
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:27,899
I WANT ME AND CHRIS
TO HAVE SOMEDAY.
77
00:03:27,968 --> 00:03:30,465
PETER, BRYANT AND GREG
GUMBEL ARE BROTHERS.
78
00:03:30,534 --> 00:03:32,065
OH, NICE. JUST BECAUSE
THEY'RE BLACK,
79
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,999
WE CAN'T LEARN
ANYTHING FROM THEM?
80
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[Sighs]
IF CHRIS GETS
HIS HOMEWORK DONE,
81
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:38,398
YOU CAN WATCH YOUR SHOW
TOGETHER NEXT WEEK.
82
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:41,066
NOW COME ON. HELP ME
GET THE HOUSE READY
FOR MY MOTHER.
83
00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:44,032
SHE'S COMING TO VISIT
FOR EXACTLY ONE WEEK.
84
00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:46,165
BYE, MOM.
85
00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:49,965
SHEESH. WHAT A
WEEK THAT WAS, EH?
86
00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:52,132
OK, COME ON,
LET'S WATCH
THE GUMBELS.
87
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,598
PETER, I THOUGHT
WE AGREED,
88
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,699
NO T.V. UNTIL
HIS HOMEWORK
IS DONE.
89
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,165
MOM, I'LL DO IT AFTER--
90
00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:59,032
UM, UH, CHRIS
FINISHED HIS HOMEWORK.
91
00:03:59,101 --> 00:04:01,932
IN FACT, I'VE BEEN
HELPING HIM STUDY
EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK.
92
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,165
REALLY?
93
00:04:03,234 --> 00:04:05,899
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
ENJOY YOUR SHOW, BOYS.
94
00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:07,065
YOU BET WE WILL.
95
00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:08,565
TONIGHT,
KATIE COURIC
GUEST STARS
96
00:04:08,634 --> 00:04:10,798
AS A VERY PERKY
CRACK WHORE.
97
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,265
HEY, DAD,
WHEN YOU SAID,
98
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,532
"CHRIS FINISHED
HIS HOMEWORK,"
99
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,965
WERE YOU TALKING
ABOUT ME?
100
00:04:15,034 --> 00:04:17,298
BECAUSE IF YOU
WERE, I THINK YOU
JUST LIED TO MOM.
101
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:19,432
CHRIS, EVERYTHING
I SAY IS A LIE,
102
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,465
EXCEPT THAT
AND THAT.
103
00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:22,932
AND THAT, AND THAT,
AND THAT,
104
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,598
AND THAT, AND THAT...
105
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:25,731
AND THAT.
106
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,698
THIS IS AN ACTION
NEWS 5 NEWS BREAK.
107
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,698
I'M TOM TUCKER.
108
00:04:28,767 --> 00:04:30,133
AND I'M
DIANE SIMMONS.
109
00:04:30,201 --> 00:04:32,365
TOM HAS DARED ME TO
DO THE NEWS TOPLESS.
110
00:04:32,434 --> 00:04:35,432
I'VE GOT THE GOODS,
BUT HAVE I GOT THE GUTS?
FIND OUT AT 11:00.
111
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,432
IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL,
YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.
112
00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:39,732
THAT SHOW HAS
BEEN CANCELED.
113
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:40,999
THE FULL STORY,
114
00:04:41,068 --> 00:04:42,498
AND MAYBE
DIANE'S BOOBS,
TONIGHT AT 11:00.
115
00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:43,699
I CAN'T
BELIEVE THIS!
116
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:44,866
I FEEL SICK.
117
00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:46,331
ONLY ONE THING
TO DO, CHRIS.
118
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,032
WE GOTTA SAVE
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL,
119
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,899
AND WERE
GONNA DO IT
GRIFFIN 2 GRIFFIN.
120
00:04:49,968 --> 00:04:50,899
LET'S ROLL!
121
00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:51,865
I'M WITH YA, DAD.
122
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,266
WHAT DO WE DO,
WRITE A LETTER?
123
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,966
I TRIED THAT ONCE.
IT GOT ME IN A
LOT OF TROUBLE.
124
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:59,565
"IF YOU DON'T PUT
COACH BACK ON THE AIR,
I'LL BE REALLY UPSET.
125
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,165
"THE SKILLFUL
ACTING OF CRAIG T. NELSON
WILL BE MISSED A LOT.
126
00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:04,532
"SIGNED, PETER GRIFFIN."
127
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,331
[Lois]
PETER, COME HELP ME
WITH THE GROCERIES.
128
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,398
OK, HONEY.
129
00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:19,798
CRAIG T. NELSON!
130
00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:20,965
ARE YOU
PETER GRIFFIN?
131
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:21,932
YEAH.
132
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,299
MAKE IT QUICK.
133
00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:29,198
OK, CHRIS, WE'RE
GONNA GET OUR SHOW
BACK ON THE AIR
134
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,599
AND WERE NOT GONNA
BE INTIMIDATED
135
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,932
BY ANY SLICK
EXECUTIVE TYPES.
136
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,098
OOH, LOOK AT
MR. SUAVE.
137
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:48,732
WAIT. YOU CAN'T
GO IN THERE.
138
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,732
JUST WATCH ME!
139
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:52,298
NO, I MEAN, YOU CAN'T
GO IN THERE,
140
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:53,732
BECAUSE THAT
DOOR LEADS NOWHERE.
141
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,199
USE THE DOOR
NEXT TO IT.
142
00:05:57,767 --> 00:05:59,766
ALL RIGHT, CALLAGHAN,
ME AND MY SON
143
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,798
WANT YOU TO UNCANCEL
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL.
144
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:03,132
WELL SIR, WE ONLY
AIR THE SHOW.
145
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,165
WE HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT
BEING CANCELED.
146
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,465
I HAVE ALL THE
EPISODES ON TAPE
147
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,765
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BORROW 'EM.
148
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,465
OK, YOU BASTARD, YOU
WANNA PLAY ROUGH?
149
00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,732
ALL RIGHT, UNTIL
YOU BRING THE
GUMBELS BACK,
150
00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:13,732
I AM GOING ON
A HUNGER STRIKE.
151
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,732
EH? HOW
ABOUT THAT,
CALLAGHAN?
152
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,366
CAN YOU LIVE
WITH THAT ON YOUR
CONSCIENCE? HUH?
153
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:23,798
YOU GONNA EAT
THAT STAPLER?
154
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:25,364
YOU CAN'T EAT A STAPLER--
155
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:26,865
WANNA
SPLIT IT?
156
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,732
SORRY, CHRIS.
ME AND MY DAMN
APPETITE!
157
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,199
THIS ISN'T THE FIRST
TIME IT'S GOTTEN
ME INTO TROUBLE.
158
00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:35,631
[Guns cocking]
159
00:06:39,934 --> 00:06:41,232
[Crunching]
160
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:47,265
[Crunching]
161
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,065
AND IN
GRIDIRON NEWS,
162
00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:58,132
LITTLE JOHNNY
GOBRAUN,
163
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,999
A TERMINALLY ILL
8-YEAR-OLD BOY
164
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:02,065
WHO DREAMED OF
PLAYING QUARTERBACK
FOR NEW ENGLAND,
165
00:07:02,134 --> 00:07:03,366
GOT HIS
WISH TODAY
166
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:05,998
THANKS TO THE
GRANT-A-DREAM
FOUNDATION.
167
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:08,565
[Announcer]
GOBRAUN TAKES THE SNAP
AND FADES BACK TO PASS.
168
00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:11,132
HERE COMES THE RUSH.
OH, HE'S SACKED!
169
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,698
[Laughing]
170
00:07:18,767 --> 00:07:19,765
LOOKS LIKE
LITTLE JOHNNY
171
00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:21,865
SHOULD'VE WISHED
FOR SOME BLOCKING.
172
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:23,698
CHRIS, I JUST
THOUGHT OF A WAY
173
00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:25,231
TO GET THE GUMBELS
BACK ON THE AIR.
174
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,765
ALL RIGHT, DAD!
175
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:30,165
ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS TELL A LITTLE
WHITE LIE.
176
00:07:30,234 --> 00:07:31,399
JUST GO WITH IT.
177
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:33,865
IS THIS THE
GRANT-A-DREAM
FOUNDATION?
178
00:07:33,934 --> 00:07:35,499
MY SON CHRIS
IS DYING!
179
00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:38,199
HOLY CRAP, NO!
OH, MY GOD!
180
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:39,966
THAT WAS THE LIE.
181
00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:42,531
OH, YOU
SLY BOOTS.
182
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,598
ARE YOU SURE
THIS WILL WORK?
183
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,431
CHRIS, THIS IS
JUST ANOTHER ONE
184
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,965
OF YOUR
CRAZY SCHEMES.
185
00:07:54,034 --> 00:07:55,832
THIS WHOLE
THING WAS
YOUR IDEA!
186
00:07:55,901 --> 00:07:57,665
YOU'LL FIND OUT.
187
00:07:57,734 --> 00:07:59,632
DAD, YOU'RE
NOT MAKING
ANY SENSE!
188
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,732
YOU JUST LEAVE
THAT TO ME.
189
00:08:01,801 --> 00:08:03,465
AH, YES.
HERE WE GO.
190
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,532
CHRIS GRIFFIN. HMM.
191
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,565
YOUR DYING
WISH IS DENIED.
192
00:08:08,967 --> 00:08:10,298
THANK YOU.
193
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,598
WAIT A MINUTE. MY
SON ONLY HAS A
SHORT TIME TO LIVE.
194
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,065
ALL HE WANTS IS HIS
FAVORITE SHOW
195
00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:15,832
BACK ON T.V.
HOW CAN YOU SAY NO?
196
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,265
[Laughing]
197
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:21,398
MR. GRIFFIN, EVERYONE THINKS
THEIR DYING CHILD IS SPECIAL.
198
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,565
BUT THESE DAYS,
PEOPLE WHO DONATE MONEY
TO OUR FOUNDATION
199
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,899
DEMAND A LITTLE MORE
BANG FOR THEIR BUCK.
200
00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:29,364
WE NEED SICK KIDS
WE CAN PACKAGE.
201
00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:32,131
LIKE THAT ONE WE PUT
ON HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.
202
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,999
I'LL TAKE THE DYING
BOY TO BLOCK.
203
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:36,399
OK, JEREMY, IS THERE
ANYTHING LOWER
204
00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:37,598
THAN ABSOLUTE ZERO?
205
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,198
UH, YEAH. MY
WHITE-CELL COUNT.
206
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:41,565
[All laughing]
207
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:46,464
I'M TELLING YOU,
CHRIS IS DYING
208
00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:48,432
10 TIMES WORSE THAN
THOSE OTHER KIDS.
209
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,265
HE'S GOT A VERY
RARE DISEASE CALLED,
210
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:53,399
UH, UH,
TUMOR-SYPHILIS-ITIS-OSIS.
211
00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:55,565
HMM. SOUNDS SEXY.
212
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:56,899
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?
213
00:08:56,968 --> 00:08:59,165
WHAT ARE
THE SYMPTOMS?
TAKE A LOOK!
214
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,199
HE'S GROWING
NIPPLES ALL
OVER HIS BODY!
215
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:02,565
THEY LOOK LIKE PEPPERONIS.
216
00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:03,798
WHO DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE?
217
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,465
MY SON
HAPPENS TO BE
VERY SENSITIVE
218
00:09:05,534 --> 00:09:07,831
ABOUT HIS
EXTRA NIPPLES.
219
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,598
SEE, LOOK. THEY'RE
COMING RIGHT OFF.
220
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,432
NIPPLES SHOULDN'T
JUST COME OFF
LIKE THAT.
221
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:15,898
WHY--WHY, THAT'S THE
SICKEST BOY I'VE EVER SEEN!
222
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,899
GET ME THE PRESIDENT
OF TELEVISION!
223
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,432
OK, HOW
ABOUT THIS?
224
00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:25,399
A SINGLE WHITE
GIRL IN THE CITY
225
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:26,598
WORKING AT
A MAGAZINE!
226
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,799
[Man #1]
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
227
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,199
[Man #2]
OOH, YEAH, YEAH.
228
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,498
DO YOU GUYS
HEAR YOURSELVES?
229
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:33,231
THIS IS THE SAME OLD CRAP
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
230
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,298
WE NEED TO TAKE
A CHANCE. TRY
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
231
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,565
SOMETHING FRESH.
232
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,532
EXCUSE ME.
233
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,498
NO CALLS!
234
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:57,131
IT'S ABOUT A DYING BOY.
235
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,499
HELLO? WELL,
WHAT'S HE GOT?
236
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,065
HMM, SOUNDS SEXY.
237
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:04,165
GET ME EXCLUSIVE
RIGHTS TO HIS DEATH
AND YOU GOT A DEAL.
238
00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:05,498
WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS,
239
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,499
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL
IS BACK ON
THE AIR!
240
00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:08,899
ALL RIGHT, DAD!
241
00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:10,465
MR. GRIFFIN,
I'M SORRY WE
HAD TO MEET
242
00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,698
UNDER THESE
CIRCUMSTANCES.
243
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,599
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I MAY SEE YOU AGAIN.
244
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,999
I'VE 2 MORE KIDS
AT HOME, AND I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE
245
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,532
SOME NEW EPISODES
OF STAR TREK.
246
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,465
STEWIE, IT'S
BATH TIME. YOU'RE
FILTHY AGAIN.
247
00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:25,232
I'LL SHOW
YOU FILTHY!
248
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,499
YES, LOOK AT ME!
249
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,598
I'M A DIRTY,
FOUL LITTLE BOY!
250
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:30,932
I'M A NASTY, SQUALID
LITTLE HOBO!
251
00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:34,032
I SAY, MOTHER, YOU HAVE
YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR
YOU NOW. DON'T YOU?
252
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,999
OK, IF YOU WANT
TO BE DIRTY,
253
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,465
BE DIRTY.
254
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:38,998
WHERE DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE
GOING?
255
00:10:39,067 --> 00:10:40,299
I'VE DEFILED MYSELF.
256
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:41,531
I NEED TO BE CLEANED!
257
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,498
AH!
258
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,465
THERE YOU
GO, KIDDO.
ALL CLEAN.
259
00:10:44,534 --> 00:10:47,132
BLAST! I'M FROZEN!
I'M HYPOTHERMIC!
260
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:50,231
BLOODY HELL,
I'M A WOMAN!
261
00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:54,598
TAKE OUT YOUR PENCILS
AND START YOUR TEST.
262
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:55,932
UM,
MR. MCCLOUD,
263
00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:57,499
I DIDN'T STUDY
FOR THIS TEST,
264
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,265
BUT I GOT
A GOOD REASON.
265
00:10:59,334 --> 00:11:00,632
I'M DYING.
266
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,899
GRIFFIN, THAT'S
THE LAMEST
EXCUSE I'VE HEARD
267
00:11:02,967 --> 00:11:05,632
SINCE STEINBERG CAME
UP WITH THAT JEWISH
HIGH HOLIDAY CRAP.
268
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:08,231
STEINBERG! TAKE
THAT HAT OFF IN
MY CLASSROOM!
269
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,899
BUT MR. MCCLOUD,
I'M REALLY DYING.
270
00:11:10,968 --> 00:11:13,198
I HAVE A
CERTIFICATE
TO PROVE IT.
271
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:16,331
MY GOD!
TUMOR-SYPHILIS-ITIS-OSIS!
272
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,132
AND HE STILL
COMES INTO SCHOOL!
273
00:11:18,201 --> 00:11:21,598
YOU'RE EXCUSED
FROM THE TEST, YOU
BRAVE, BRAVE BOY.
274
00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:23,865
STEINBERG, YOU CAN
LEARN SOMETHING
FROM THIS FINE YOUNG--
275
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,698
DAMN IT, STEINBERG!
TAKE THAT HAT OFF!
276
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,465
DAD, MARCY
GIBBONS
JUST CALLED!
277
00:11:29,534 --> 00:11:31,966
SHE HEARD THAT
CHRIS IS DYING!
278
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:33,132
[Sobbing]
279
00:11:33,201 --> 00:11:34,232
[Laughing]
280
00:11:34,301 --> 00:11:35,865
YOUR BROTHER'S OK.
281
00:11:35,934 --> 00:11:37,632
THAT WAS JUST A
LITTLE WHITE LIE
282
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,965
ME AND CHRIS
CAME UP WITH TO
SAVE A T.V. SHOW.
283
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:42,065
SO HE'S NOT
GOING TO DIE?
284
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,065
NO.
285
00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:44,265
[Laughing]
286
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:46,199
BOY, YOUR FACE
WAS PRICELESS
287
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,665
WHEN YOU
THOUGHT HE WAS.
288
00:11:47,734 --> 00:11:49,398
[Sobbing]
289
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,498
YOU'RE A
MONSTER.
290
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,532
HEY, CHRIS WAS
IN ON THE
WHOLE THING.
291
00:11:53,601 --> 00:11:55,232
ANYWAY, IT'S
OVER AND
DONE WITH.
292
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,032
♪[Folk music playing]
293
00:11:57,101 --> 00:11:58,665
WHAT THE
HELL IS THAT?
294
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:01,464
[Crowd singing]
♪ OH, DYIN' BOY OF QUAHOG ♪
295
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:04,332
♪ CHRIS GRIFFIN,
YOU'RE SO BRAVE ♪
296
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,165
♪ THERE'S A SMILE ON YOUR FACE
AND A BOUNCE IN YOUR STEP ♪
297
00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:09,265
♪ AS THEY DIG YOUR GRAVE ♪
298
00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:12,098
♪ AS THEY DIG YOUR GRAVE ♪
299
00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:14,531
DO I HEAR
SINGING?
300
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,665
NO! NO SINGING.
301
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:16,932
JUST US WATCHING
302
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:19,065
ANOTHER HILARIOUS
EPISODE OF
GOOD TIMES.
303
00:12:19,134 --> 00:12:20,698
YOU KNOW, THE SITCOM
THAT'S FUNNIER
304
00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,398
WHEN YOU PLAY IT
REALLY LOUD.
305
00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:26,165
MAXINE IS THE
LADY WHO'S FEELING
ALL RIGHT.
306
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:29,798
THANKS TO THE
MAGIC OF
KID DYNOMITE!
307
00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:30,898
[Audience laughing]
308
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,432
JUNIOR, WHERE
YOU BEEN?
309
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,032
DINNER WAS
3 HOURS AGO!
310
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,032
OH, FORGET
HIM, JAMES.
311
00:12:36,101 --> 00:12:37,499
HE'S AN IDIOT!
312
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,598
MAMA, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU?
313
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,598
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH ME?
314
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,266
MY NAME IS FLORIDA!
315
00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,565
FLORIDA!
316
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:47,999
THAT'S THE NAME
OF A STATE!
317
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:51,898
WHY IS MY
NAME FLORIDA?
318
00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:54,099
[Sobbing]
OH, LORD!
319
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:01,264
DYNOMITE!
320
00:13:02,734 --> 00:13:04,264
THAT IS SINGING.
321
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,431
PETER, THERE'S A
CANDLELIGHT VIGIL
ON OUR FRONT LAWN.
322
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,164
LOIS, THAT'S
RIDICULOUS.
323
00:13:09,233 --> 00:13:10,765
THERE'S NOBODY
OUT THERE.
324
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,398
YOU MUST BE
SEEING THINGS.
325
00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:14,765
PETER, WHY
ARE THESE
PEOPLE HERE?
326
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,632
♪ AS THEY
DIG MY GRAVE ♪
327
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:18,432
♪ AS THEY DIG
MY GRAVE ♪
328
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,166
HEY, DAD, THEY'RE
SINGING A SONG
ABOUT ME!
329
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,599
OH,
HI, MOM.
330
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,166
[Doorbell rings]
331
00:13:24,235 --> 00:13:25,932
HELLO,
MR. GRIFFIN.
332
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:27,999
WE JUST CAME
BY TO SEE IF
YOUR SON'S
333
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,998
TAKEN A
MEDIA-FRIENDLY
TURN FOR THE WORSE.
334
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:32,564
NO. EVERYTHING'S
FINE. THANKS FOR
CHECKING. BYE-BYE.
335
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:33,865
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
336
00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:35,198
MR. GRIFFIN,
337
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:36,999
THE FOUNDATION
HELD UP ITS END
OF THE BARGAIN
338
00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:39,598
AND GOT THAT
CRAPPY GUMBEL SHOW
BACK ON THE AIR!
339
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:41,132
YOU OWE US A BODY!
340
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,132
WHAT?
341
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,932
UH, EXCUSE ME
FOR A MINUTE.
342
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,832
YOU PRETENDED
CHRIS WAS DYING
343
00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:47,832
TO SAVE A
T.V. SHOW?
344
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:49,698
[Gasping]
YOU'RE A MONSTER!
345
00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:50,731
THANK YOU.
346
00:13:50,801 --> 00:13:52,932
PETER, YOU
TELL THAT
MAN THE TRUTH!
347
00:13:53,868 --> 00:13:55,565
UH, JUST OUT
OF CURIOSITY...
348
00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:56,799
SHOOT.
349
00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,032
WHAT HAPPENS
IF HE'S NOT
REALLY DYING?
350
00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,299
YOU GO TO JAIL
351
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,732
FOR DEFRAUDING
A CHARITABLE
ORGANIZATION.
352
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,299
OH.
THAT'S INTERESTING.
353
00:14:03,368 --> 00:14:04,866
WILL YOU
EXCUSE US?
354
00:14:04,934 --> 00:14:07,899
YOU'RE RIGHT!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
WAY OUT OF THIS!
355
00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:09,032
CHRIS IS
ALL BETTER!
356
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:10,032
I CURED HIM!
357
00:14:10,101 --> 00:14:11,398
YOU CURED HIM?
358
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:14,332
THAT'S RIGHT.
I HAVE DIVINE POWERS!
359
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,632
OK. SAFE DRIVE.
360
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,432
WELL, WHAT DO
YOU HAVE TO
SAY TO THAT?
361
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:19,532
I'M NOT
GOING TO JAIL,
362
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,032
CHRIS DOESN'T
HAVE TO DIE,
363
00:14:21,101 --> 00:14:23,765
AND BEST OF ALL,
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL
IS BACK ON THE AIR.
364
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,765
YOU'RE A GREAT
ROLE MODEL, PETER.
365
00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:28,266
WHAT KIND OF MAN
DEVALUES THE
LIFE OF HIS CHILD
366
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,698
FOR A T.V. SHOW?
367
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,199
LOIS, ANYONE WHO
WOULDN'T PRETEND
THEIR OWN SON IS DYING
368
00:14:32,268 --> 00:14:34,899
TO GET THE GUMBELS BACK
ON T.V. IS A RACIST.
369
00:14:34,968 --> 00:14:36,433
THERE, I SAID IT.
370
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:44,698
IT'S HIM!
371
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:45,932
IT'S PETER GRIFFIN!
372
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:47,632
THE MIRACLE
HEALER OF QUAHOG!
373
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,732
OH, HEAL ME,
OH, GREAT ONE!
374
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,532
YOU SEE
WHAT YOUR LIES
HAVE GOTTEN YOU?
375
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,298
THEY THINK
YOU'RE SOME
KIND OF HEALER.
376
00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:54,632
I'LL HANDLE
IT, LOIS.
377
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,899
I READ A BOOK
ABOUT THIS SORT
OF THING ONCE.
378
00:14:56,968 --> 00:14:58,398
ARE YOU SURE
IT WAS A BOOK?
379
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:00,632
ARE YOU SURE
IT WASN'T NOTHING?
380
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:02,699
OH, YEAH.
381
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,199
PETER, THESE POOR,
DELUDED PEOPLE
382
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,765
THINK YOU HAVE
DIVINE POWERS.
383
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,899
PRAISE PETER!
WE ARE YOUR SERVANTS.
384
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:12,932
IT'S A
MIRACLE!
385
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,298
WHAT WOULD
YOU HAVE US DO,
386
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:16,032
OH, GREAT HEALER
OF QUAHOG?
387
00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:19,065
WELL, THERE'S REALLY NO
NEED TO DO ANYTHING.
PAINT MY HOUSE.
388
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:21,331
PETER, IT'S BAD
ENOUGH TO LIE
TO YOUR FAMILY
389
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,065
BUT HOW CAN YOU
LET THESE PEOPLE
THINK YOU'RE A HEALER?
390
00:15:24,134 --> 00:15:25,999
THIS IS PURE
EXPLOITATION.
391
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,465
NO, IT'S NOT.
392
00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:29,865
THOSE FILMS
MY COUSIN RUFUS
USED TO DO
393
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,465
WERE PURE
EXPLOITATION.
394
00:15:31,534 --> 00:15:33,565
[Narrator]
FROM THE CATS
WHO BROUGHT YOU
395
00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:35,332
CADDYBLACK,
BLACKDRAFT
396
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,532
AND BLACK
KRAMER V. KRAMER,
397
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,698
COMES A FUNKY
FLICK SO BAD
398
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:42,598
YOU GONNA SAY,
"DAMN, THAT'S FUNKY."
399
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,899
♪[Funk music playing]
400
00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:51,966
OH, YOU OUT
OF TIME, BABY.
401
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,266
[Tires screeching]
402
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,265
DAMN!
403
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:06,798
[Narrator]
RUFUS GRIFFIN STARS IN
404
00:16:06,867 --> 00:16:08,832
BLACK TO THE FUTURE.
405
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,665
WE'RE TALKING
MARTY MCSUPERFLY, DIG?
406
00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:16,599
MARTY, I WANT
TO BE YOUR FINE,
SWEET-ASS BITCH.
407
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,798
DAMN! BROTHER
DONE KISSED HIS MAMA!
408
00:16:19,734 --> 00:16:22,065
♪[Playing guitar solo]
409
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,665
[Narrator]
OH, YEAH.
410
00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:30,898
GET ME ISAAC HAYES.
411
00:16:30,968 --> 00:16:33,598
ISAAC, YOU KNOW
THAT NEW SOUND
YOU BEEN LOOKING FOR?
412
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,332
WELL, LISTEN TO THIS!
413
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,331
COME ON, LOIS.
STOP BEING SUCH A
STICK IN THE MUD.
414
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,899
LOOK, I'M GIVING
THESE SAPS HOPE.
415
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:46,466
AND I'M GETTING
THE HOUSE PAINTED
FOR FREE. HUH?
416
00:16:46,535 --> 00:16:48,865
IT'S WIN-FREAKIN'-WIN, BABY.
417
00:16:54,533 --> 00:16:55,564
AH!
418
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,133
HEY, FLATHEAD,
CHOP-CHOP.
419
00:16:57,967 --> 00:16:58,998
AH.
420
00:16:59,067 --> 00:16:59,865
OH.
OH.
421
00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,332
YEAH, GREAT JOB
ON THE LAWN.
422
00:17:02,401 --> 00:17:04,132
NOW DO IT AGAIN,
AND THIS TIME
423
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,698
LEAVE IT A
LITTLE LONGER.
424
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,565
[Chris]
HEY, DAD. HURRY UP.
425
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:09,065
YOU'RE MISSING
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL.
426
00:17:09,134 --> 00:17:11,765
THEY CAUGHT THE GUY,
AND NOW THEY'RE
INTERVIEWING HIM.
427
00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:15,065
PURSE SNATCHING,
SOCIETY'S FAULT,
428
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,398
OR ONE MAN'S
CRY FOR HELP?
429
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,565
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
430
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,065
I WANTED HER
FREAKIN' MONEY.
431
00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:20,865
MM-HMM. HMM.
432
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,565
MM-HMM. HMM.
433
00:17:23,134 --> 00:17:25,099
HMM. MM-HMM.
434
00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:27,099
MM-HMM. HMM. HMM.
435
00:17:27,168 --> 00:17:28,198
MM-HMM.
436
00:17:28,266 --> 00:17:29,999
MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
437
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,099
MM-HMM. HMM.
MM-HMM.
438
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:33,398
MM-HMM. HMM.
439
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:35,366
MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
440
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:36,831
MM-HMM. HMM.
441
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:38,732
MM-HMM.
MM-HMM. HMM.
442
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,331
WHAT THE HELL'S
WRONG WITH HIM?
443
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,932
MM-HMM. MM.
MM-HMM. MM.
444
00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:45,699
SOME OTHER TIME, CHRIS.
NOW, WHERE'S MY SHOES?
445
00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:52,899
[Sighs]
446
00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:57,032
PETER, THESE
PEOPLE ARE
WORSHIPPING YOU.
447
00:17:57,101 --> 00:17:58,398
DON'T YOU THINK
THERE'S SOMEONE
448
00:17:58,466 --> 00:17:59,799
WHO MIGHT
RESENT THAT?
449
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:02,199
A BEING WHO'S
ALL-KNOWING
AND ALL-POWERFUL?
450
00:18:02,268 --> 00:18:04,565
SOMEONE'S GOT
A PRETTY HIGH
OPINION OF HERSELF.
451
00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:05,932
NOT ME, PETER.
452
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,898
GOD. THE REAL GOD.
453
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:09,265
WHAT'S THE
BIG DEAL?
454
00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:10,465
SO I TOLD
A LITTLE FIB,
455
00:18:10,534 --> 00:18:11,965
AND NOW PEOPLE
THINK I'M GOD.
456
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,364
WHEN DID GOD
EVER SAY HE DIDN'T
WANT SOMEONE ELSE
457
00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:15,698
BEING WORSHIPPED
LIKE HIM?
458
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,565
IT'S ONE OF THE TEN
COMMANDMENTS.
459
00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:19,232
OH, COME ON,
LOIS. THOSE
WERE WRITTEN,
460
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,698
LIKE, 200 YEARS
AGO. TIMES
HAVE CHANGED!
461
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:22,865
[Lois screams]
462
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:25,265
[Peter]
OK, LET'S STAY CALM.
463
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:26,632
AW LOIS, IF
YOU'RE SCARED,
464
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,899
I'LL HOLD YOU
CLOSE UNTIL THE
LIGHTS ARE ON AGAIN.
465
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:29,965
[Chris]
DAD, IT'S ME.
466
00:18:30,034 --> 00:18:31,066
[Peter]
GO TO YOUR ROOM.
467
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,665
WELL, THAT'S
THE LAST OF THEM.
468
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:36,765
I STILL DON'T
UNDERSTAND HOW
EVERY LIGHT BULB
469
00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,165
IN THE HOUSE
COULD GO OUT AT
THE SAME TIME.
470
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,265
OH, MY GOD.
471
00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:41,464
YES?
472
00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:43,132
PETER, THAT'S
NOT FUNNY.
473
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,798
THOSE FANATICS
ARE BUILDING
474
00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:46,732
A GOLDEN
IDOL OF YOU
ON OUR LAWN.
475
00:18:49,068 --> 00:18:51,765
WOW, I LOOK LIKE
A FREAKIN' EMMY. HEH HEH.
476
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:53,099
HINT-HINT.
477
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:54,799
OH, DAMN IT
TO HELL!
478
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,032
THIS IS
EMBARRASSING.
479
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,865
I SEEM TO
HAVE FLEAS.
480
00:18:57,934 --> 00:18:59,464
THAT'S NEVER
HAPPENED BEFORE.
481
00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:00,432
MORNING.
482
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,832
[Both scream]
483
00:19:01,901 --> 00:19:03,699
JEEZ, CHRIS, PUBERTY
HIT YOU LIKE A
TON OF BRICKS.
484
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,331
WHAT DO YOU
MEAN? AAH!
485
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,332
DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
486
00:19:07,401 --> 00:19:08,966
OF COURSE
I DO, LOIS.
487
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:10,699
OUR FRESH-FACED
LITTLE BOY
488
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:11,999
IS BECOMING
A POCK-MARKED,
489
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,032
HIDEOUSLY
DISFIGURED MAN.
490
00:19:14,101 --> 00:19:15,432
SUNRISE.
SUNSET.
491
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,331
NO, NO, NO, PETER..
THE LIGHT BULBS
LAST NIGHT,
492
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,632
MY FLEAS,
CHRIS' PIMPLES.
493
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,765
THEY'RE JUST
LIKE DARKNESS,
GADFLIES, AND BOILS.
494
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:22,598
3 OF THE PLAGUES
GOD VISITED
UPON EGYPT
495
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,364
WHEN THE PHARAOH
ANGERED HIM IN
THE OLD TESTAMENT.
496
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:25,699
OH, COME ON,
497
00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:27,431
THERE'S A LOGICAL
EXPLANATION FOR
ALL THOSE THINGS.
498
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,364
THERE WAS A
POWER SURGE,
YOU DON'T BATHE,
499
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:30,865
AND CHRIS
HAS HAD ACNE
PROBLEMS
500
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:32,231
SINCE THE
4TH GRADE.
501
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,132
THE KIDS WERE ALL
CALLING HIM CRISCO
AND PIZZA FACE
502
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,665
AND ROOTIN'-TOOTIN'
RASPBERRY.
503
00:19:36,734 --> 00:19:38,066
REMEMBER,
CHRIS?
504
00:19:38,134 --> 00:19:39,464
NOW I DO.
505
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:40,932
[Sobbing]
506
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:42,265
[Meg screams]
507
00:19:42,334 --> 00:19:43,932
MEG, WHAT'S WRONG?
508
00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:45,999
I WAS GIVING
STEWIE A BATH, AND...
509
00:19:46,068 --> 00:19:47,198
AND...
510
00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:49,965
TRUST ME, MEG, AT HIS AGE,
IT'S STRICTLY INVOLUNTARY.
511
00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,498
NO! THE WATER,
512
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,531
IT TURNED ALL
RED AND GOOPY,
LIKE BLOOD!
513
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,532
BLOOD?
514
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,132
HOW POSITIVELY
DELIGHTFUL.
515
00:19:56,201 --> 00:19:58,899
IT'S AS IF SOMEONE
STABBED MR. BUBBLE!
516
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,332
MY BABY!
517
00:20:00,401 --> 00:20:02,465
GET OUT THERE
AND TELL THOSE
PEOPLE THE TRUTH.
518
00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,765
MAKE THEM STOP
WORSHIPPING YOU
BEFORE IT STARTS
519
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,899
HAILING IN
MY HOUSE!
520
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:09,631
AW, THERE'S GOTTA
BE AN EXPLANATION
FOR ALL THIS!
521
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:10,998
YOU WANT
AN EXPLANATION?
522
00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:13,364
GOD IS PISSED!
523
00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:15,065
AAH! LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE!
524
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,599
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
525
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:24,199
STOP
WORSHIPPING ME!
526
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,065
I'M JUST
A BIG FAKE
527
00:20:26,134 --> 00:20:27,732
LIKE THE
MOON LANDING,
528
00:20:27,801 --> 00:20:30,699
AND MARKY MARK'S
HOG IN
BOOGIE NIGHTS,
529
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:33,098
AND TOM CRUISE
AND NICOLE KIDMAN!
530
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:35,965
I DON'T MEAN
THAT COMPLETELY
UNTRUE GAY RUMOR.
531
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,865
THEY'RE JUST
BOTH REALLY PHONY,
532
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,231
JUST LIKE ME.
533
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:42,365
I'M SORRY, OK?
NOW MAKE IT STOP.
534
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:44,098
[Thunder rumbling]
535
00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:47,398
PETER, THIS IS THE
FINAL PLAGUE!
536
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:49,165
GOOD, 'CAUSE THIS
IS STARTING TO GET
REALLY OLD.
537
00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:51,799
THE FINAL PLAGUE IS
THE DEATH OF THE
FIRST-BORN SON.
538
00:20:51,867 --> 00:20:52,999
OH, NO!
STEWIE!
539
00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:54,166
THE FIRST-BORN SON.
540
00:20:54,234 --> 00:20:55,665
MEG.
YOUR WIFE.
541
00:20:55,734 --> 00:20:56,632
CHRIS!
542
00:20:57,367 --> 00:20:58,332
CHRIS!
543
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,931
OH, MY GOD.
ARE YOU OK?
544
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,166
HEY, DAD, I CAN
SEE A WHITE LIGHT
545
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:03,632
AT THE END OF
A LONG TUNNEL.
546
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,465
OH, THAT'S
GREAT, SON.
LIGHT IS GOOD.
547
00:21:05,534 --> 00:21:06,832
RUN TOWARDS
THE LIGHT.
548
00:21:06,901 --> 00:21:07,799
NO, CHRIS! NO!
549
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,199
RUN AWAY
FROM THE LIGHT!
550
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:11,132
HEY, DAD,
DO YOU THINK
THEY GOT
551
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,832
GUMBEL 2 GUMBEL
IN HEAVEN?
552
00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:16,798
YES, SON, AND
THERE'S NO RERUNS
OR COMMERCIALS,
553
00:21:16,868 --> 00:21:18,765
AND KIRSTIE ALLEY
IS STILL HOT,
554
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:20,498
AND ALL THOSE
SCRAMBLED CHANNELS
555
00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:22,066
COME IN CLEAR
AS A BELL.
556
00:21:22,134 --> 00:21:24,265
PLEASE DON'T TAKE
HIM, GOD. I'M SORRY.
557
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:28,266
SIR, WE THINK
THE GRIFFIN
GUY GETS IT.
558
00:21:28,334 --> 00:21:29,332
GOOD, GOOD.
559
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,165
PEGGY, TURN OFF THE
PLAGUES, PLEASE.
560
00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:33,399
[Peggy]
YES, SIR,
MR. PATTERSON.
561
00:21:33,468 --> 00:21:34,832
SH-SH-SHE'S
NEW.
562
00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:41,298
I THINK THE
PLAGUES WENT AWAY.
563
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:42,565
SO DID THE
WHITE LIGHT.
564
00:21:42,633 --> 00:21:44,365
OH, HONEY!
565
00:21:44,434 --> 00:21:45,532
THANK GOD!
566
00:21:45,601 --> 00:21:47,365
I MEAN, THANK ME!
567
00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:49,965
AAH! AAH! KIDDING!
IT WAS A JOKE!
IT WAS A JOKE!
568
00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,199
[Screaming]
569
00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:55,632
♪[Theme music playing]