1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:04,966
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:05,034 --> 00:00:08,198
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON TV ♪
3
00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:11,932
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
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♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
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♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
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♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
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♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
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WAKEY-WAKEY,
WORTHLESS DOMESTIC!
11
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TIME TO MAKE ME
INEDIBLE GRUEL.
12
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MOMMY WANTS TO REST
FOR A FEW MORE
MINUTES, HONEY.
13
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WAAH!
14
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BLAST!
15
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JEEZ. LOIS, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING
16
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LYING ON THE COUCH
AT THIS HOUR?
17
00:00:49,134 --> 00:00:50,299
HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
18
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,698
PETER, YOU KNOW
I NEVER DRINK.
19
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,098
OH, YEAH? JUST
LIKE YOU NEVER
DODGED THE DRAFT?
20
00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:56,464
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? I'M A WOMAN.
21
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:57,965
SURE YOU ARE.
22
00:00:58,034 --> 00:00:59,265
NOW.
23
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:00,865
PETER, I'M EXHAUSTED.
24
00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:03,198
I'VE BEEN IN AND OUT
OF TAXIS ALL DAY.
25
00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:05,165
STEWIE HAD A
DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.
26
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,065
THEN I HAD TO PICK
MEG UP AFTER SCHOOL.
27
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:08,999
I HAD REHEARSAL FOR
DEATH OF A SALESMAN.
28
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BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO
SHOW DEATH AT SCHOOL.
29
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SO NOW AT THE END,
WE DANCE AROUND
WITH SPARKLERS.
30
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:15,631
PETER, WE REALLY
NEED A SECOND CAR.
31
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TRYING TO DO ALL
THESE ERRANDS
32
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IN A TAXI IS EXHAUSTING.
33
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AW, BUT YOU MEET SUCH
COLORFUL CHARACTERS IN TAXIS,
34
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LIKE ALEX RIEGER
AND TONY,
35
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AND THAT FUNNY FOREIGN GUY
WHO WORKED IN THE GARAGE.
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RIEGER, CAB 402!
37
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NARDO, YOU
AND YOUR LUSCIOUS
MELONS ARE IN 315.
38
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NOW GET THE HELL OUT
OF HERE, YOU LOSERS.
39
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HEY, LOUIE, WHAT ABOUT
THE FOREIGN GUY?
40
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NO WAY, BANTA.
HE'S A NUT JOB.
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COME ON, LOUIE, SHOW A
LITTLE COMPASSION FOR ONCE
IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!
42
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ALL RIGHT! CAN
THE WATERWORKS.
43
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,699
JACKIE CHAN, CAB 302!
44
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HAI-YA!
45
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[Audience laughing]
46
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THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
47
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PETER, PLEASE.
48
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:50,932
I SAW AN AD
49
00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,865
FOR A USED CAR THAT
WOULD BE PERFECT.
50
00:01:52,934 --> 00:01:55,999
OH, NO, LOIS. A GUY
AT WORK BOUGHT A
CAR OUT OF THE PAPER.
51
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:58,099
TEN YEARS LATER,
BAM! HERPES.
52
00:01:58,168 --> 00:02:00,632
I'M BUYING OUR CAR FROM
A DEALER, AND THAT'S THAT.
53
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:07,399
OH-H-H, LOOK! OH,
AREN'T YOU BEAUTIFUL?
54
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YEAH, YOU LIKE
THAT, DON'T YOU?
55
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YEAH, YOU'RE A
BAD LITTLE CAR.
56
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W-WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT'S THAT?
57
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,199
YOU WANT ME
INSIDE YOU?
58
00:02:17,268 --> 00:02:18,665
PETER, LOOK
AT THIS ONE.
59
00:02:18,734 --> 00:02:21,365
IT'S SAFE AND RELIABLE,
AND WE CAN AFFORD IT.
60
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,498
I'LL JUST SEE IF I
CAN FIND A SALESMAN.
61
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HEY, I'M DOUG.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
62
00:02:28,234 --> 00:02:29,898
WHOA, HAVE
YOU LOST WEIGHT?
63
00:02:29,968 --> 00:02:30,965
NO, IT'S
STILL THERE.
64
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:32,465
I'M JUST PARTING
IT ON THE SIDE.
65
00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,999
WE WERE MORE INTERESTED
IN THAT CAR OVER THERE.
66
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,399
L-L-LOIS, LET
ME HANDLE THIS.
67
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,532
PETER, THIS CAR
HAS DENTS IN IT,
68
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AND IT'S GOT
A CARDBOARD
STEERING WHEEL.
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YEAH, JUST A
SECOND, HONEY.
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AND LOOK.
THERE'S NO ENGINE.
71
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IT JUST HAS A
DRAWING OF AN ENGINE.
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BUT IT ONLY HAD
ONE PREVIOUS OWNER.
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JAMES BOND!
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I'LL TAKE IT!
75
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,233
OK, LET'S SEE
WHAT THIS
BABY CAN DO.
76
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,765
WELL, I'M SURE THE DEALER
WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.
77
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LOIS, THIS
IS CRAZY.
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THERE'S NO WAY
WE'RE GONNA BE ABLE
TO HAVE MARITALS
79
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,433
WITH YOU LYING ALL
THE WAY OVER THERE.
80
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:11,065
I AM VERY UPSET
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
81
00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:12,832
OK, SO I TRIED
ON YOUR BRA.
82
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,466
JEEZ, THE FELLAS
WERE PUTTING
ON A SHOW.
83
00:03:14,534 --> 00:03:16,432
I DIDN'T THINK I'D
MAKE A GOOD GIGI EITHER,
84
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,365
BUT, GOD HELP ME,
I WAS FLATTERED.
85
00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:21,199
PETER, I'M UPSET BECAUSE
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME.
86
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,965
THIS IS ATLANTIC
CITY ALL OVER AGAIN.
87
00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:24,932
YOU'VE
GOT 20.
88
00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:26,532
HIT ME.
PETER, DON'T.
89
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,999
HIT ME.
21.
90
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HIT ME.
PETER!
91
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,332
HIT ME.
THAT'S 30.
92
00:03:31,401 --> 00:03:32,898
HIT ME.
93
00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:34,999
AW, YOU'RE JUST
MAD ABOUT THE CAR.
94
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:37,499
DON'T WORRY. I'LL THINK
OF A WAY TO FIX IT.
95
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,866
NO. WE'LL THINK
OF A WAY TO FIX IT!
96
00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,699
I'M TIRED OF BEING LEFT OUT
OF ALL OUR DECISION-MAKING.
97
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:43,799
OK, HONEY.
98
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:47,065
[Screeching]
99
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[Peter]
BY THE WAY,
I BOUGHT A CHIMP.
100
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:53,133
HEY, PETER. DO YOU
WANT A MENU,
101
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:55,465
OR JUST THE
USUAL "EVERYTHING"?
102
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:56,832
AW, SHUT UP,
CLEVELAND!
103
00:03:57,767 --> 00:03:59,498
WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, CHAMP?
104
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:01,465
[Sighs]
LOIS HAS HAD THE
CAR ALL WEEK,
105
00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,266
AND IT'S JUST BEEN
HELL GETTING AROUND.
106
00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,165
I ACTUALLY HAD
TO RENT A MUSTANG.
107
00:04:06,401 --> 00:04:07,398
[Snorts]
108
00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:16,599
[Snorts]
109
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,199
[Sighs]
110
00:04:21,268 --> 00:04:23,332
ALL BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD
TO GET OUR NEW CAR FIXED.
111
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,798
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GET ANOTHER NEW CAR?
112
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:27,965
WHY DON'T YOU TRY A
BREATH MINT, SAUCY?
113
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,965
I'M JUST SAYING THAT
ME AND MY ASSOCIATES
114
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WILL STEAL YOUR CAR
115
00:04:31,701 --> 00:04:34,532
AND, UH, IPSO FACTO,
YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY
WILL BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE.
116
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,099
PETER, YOU DON'T
WANT TO GET INVOLVED
WITH THE MOB.
117
00:04:38,168 --> 00:04:39,266
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE YOU?
118
00:04:39,335 --> 00:04:40,565
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE YOU?
119
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I'M THE PROPRIETOR
OF THIS DELICATESSEN.
120
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BUTT OUT,
SCHLOMO.
121
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,431
ALL I NEED IS
YOUR ADDRESS.
122
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,532
YOU CAN JOT IT DOWN
ON THE BACK OF MY GUN.
123
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,431
WELL, YOU DO
HAVE AN HONEST FACE.
124
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,565
AW, CRAP. I MADE A MISTAKE.
DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER GUN?
125
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,231
DHARMA, COME
DOWN FROM THERE.
126
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:01,766
WOW, I CAN'T GET
OVER WHAT A FREE
SPIRIT YOU ARE.
127
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,565
[Audience laughing]
128
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,799
UH, L-LOIS,
CAN YOU GO DOWN TO THE
BASEMENT AND DO SOMETHING
129
00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:16,066
REALLY LOUD AND COMPLICATED
FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES?
130
00:05:21,101 --> 00:05:22,599
THAT'S A FINE MACHINE, PETER.
131
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,532
PETER, HOW CAN
WE AFFORD THIS?
132
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,431
LET'S JUST SAY
THE CAR WAS A STEAL.
133
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SAY THAT AGAIN.
134
00:05:27,734 --> 00:05:28,966
THE CAR WAS A STEAL.
135
00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:30,565
THIS TIME
WITHOUT WINKING.
136
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,264
THE CAR WAS A STEAL.
137
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,264
WINK.
138
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,265
PETER.
139
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,999
LOOK, LOIS. WE
HAD A BROKEN CAR.
140
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,665
I DID "SOMETHING,"
141
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,199
AND NOW WE
HAVE A NEW CAR.
142
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,231
LOOK, I SAID I'D
HANDLE IT, AND I DID.
143
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,631
I SUPPOSE YOU DID.
144
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,999
I JUST WISH MY OPINION
MATTERED TO YOU.
145
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:47,598
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS IT MATTERS TO YOU,
146
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:50,432
AND THAT'S THE
GREATEST GIFT OF ALL.
147
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:51,866
HEY, CLEVELAND,
COME HERE.
148
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,098
CHECK OUT MY
ONBOARD COMPUTER
NAVIGATION SYSTEM.
149
00:05:54,167 --> 00:05:55,065
STANDARD.
150
00:05:55,134 --> 00:05:56,766
[Computer]
LEFT TURN AHEAD.
151
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,198
SPANISH.
VA A LA IZQUIERDA ALLA.
152
00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:00,498
YAKOV SMIRNOFF.
153
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:03,932
IN SOVIET RUSSIA,
CAR DRIVES YOU!
154
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,165
THAT'S FANCY AND
ALL, BUT I THINK
155
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,565
YOU'RE BARGAINING FOR
MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW.
156
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,333
YOU'RE IN
DEBT TO THE MOB.
157
00:06:10,401 --> 00:06:13,199
THAT MEANS THEY
CAN ASK YOU
TO DO ANYTHING.
158
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:14,398
ANYTHING!
159
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,598
RELAX, CLEVELAND.
THERE IS NO MOB.
160
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:18,565
YOU'RE THINKING OF
THE MOB IN THE MOVIES.
161
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:20,131
HOW AM I FUNNY?
162
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,665
I DON'T KNOW. YOU
SAY FUNNY THINGS.
163
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:24,598
NO, NO. I MEAN, I'M WHAT?
AM I GEORGE CARLIN FUNNY?
164
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,965
AM I SPIN CITY FUNNY?
RITA RUDNER FUNNY?
WHAT? COME ON.
165
00:06:28,034 --> 00:06:29,365
RITA RUDNER
FUNNY.
166
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:30,731
YEAH.
RITA RUDNER FUNNY.
167
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:31,998
REALLY?
168
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,865
OH, MY GOD!
THANK YOU.
169
00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:36,265
PETER, PLEASE DON'T
UNDERESTIMATE THEM.
170
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:39,631
I GUARANTEE YOU, I AM
NEVER GONNA HEAR FROM
THOSE GUYS AGAIN.
171
00:06:39,701 --> 00:06:40,732
PETER.
AH!
172
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,631
IT IS TIME TO REPAY
YOUR FAVOR TO THE DON.
173
00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:45,799
AW, JEEZ.
174
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,766
AT LEAST THAT'S
ONE PROBLEM SOLVED.
175
00:06:55,968 --> 00:06:58,665
COME ON, PETER. THE DON
IS WAITING TO MEET YOU.
176
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:01,266
W-WHAT KIND OF A GUY--
W-WHAT'S HE LIKE?
IS HE A FRIENDLY DON?
177
00:07:01,335 --> 00:07:03,199
YOU KNOW, LIKE
THAT DON DELUISE?
178
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,599
I HAVE ASKED
YOU HERE TONIGHT
179
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,665
SO THAT YOU MAY
PERFORM A SERVICE.
180
00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:09,232
HA, HA. W-WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA MAKE ME DO?
181
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,531
WHACK A GUY? OFF A GUY?
WHACK-OFF A GUY?
'CAUSE I'M MARRIED.
182
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,665
SILENCE!
183
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:14,598
BIG FAT PAULIE IS
IN TOWN THIS WEEK
184
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,464
TO ATTEND THE
WEDDING OF MY DAUGHTER.
185
00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,865
OH, GOD. AND YOU WANT
ME TO SHOOT HIM
TWICE IN THE HEAD?
186
00:07:18,934 --> 00:07:21,631
THAT'S SWEET OF YOU TO ASK,
BUT HE'S MY NEPHEW.
187
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,732
HE'S ALSO VILE
AND DISGUSTING.
188
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,265
NO ONE HAS EVER
BEEN ABLE TO STAND
189
00:07:25,334 --> 00:07:27,565
BIG FAT PAULIE'S COMPANY
FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE.
190
00:07:27,634 --> 00:07:28,999
BUT YOU, MR. GRIFFIN,
191
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,866
YOU WILL TAKE
HIM TO THE MOVIES.
192
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,365
THAT'S IT? THAT'S
ALL I HAVE TO DO?
THANK GO--
193
00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:35,198
WAIT A SECOND. WHICH MOVIE?
194
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:37,932
'CAUSE IF IT'S ANYTHING
WITH GREG KINNEAR, YOU CAN
JUST WHACK ME OFF RIGHT NOW!
195
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,632
BIG FAT PAULIE? AH!
196
00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:51,432
MY NAME'S MARTY,
AND I'M VERY SENSITIVE
197
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,198
ABOUT MY WEIGHT.
198
00:07:53,267 --> 00:07:54,398
BIG FAT PAULIE?
199
00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:55,631
HOW DARE YOU?
200
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,898
[Screaming]
201
00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:01,131
ARE YOU BIG
FAT PAULIE? OH!
202
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,698
I'M LOUIE ANDERSON!
203
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:03,832
[Tires screech]
204
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,665
ARE YOU, PLEASE,
GOD, BIG FAT PAULIE?
205
00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:07,999
[Coughs]
206
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,498
[Clears throat]
207
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,366
YEAH, I'M BIG
FAT PAULIE.
208
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:14,731
GUESS I'VE
GOT MILK.
HEH, HEH, HEH.
209
00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:16,099
DON'T SHOOT ME!
210
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:19,265
♪[Slow funk music playing]
211
00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:21,265
AW.
212
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,632
SOMEONE'S SITTING IN
MY MOST FAVORITE SEAT.
213
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:24,999
HMM, HEY.
214
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,698
I JUST GOT A GREAT IDEA!
215
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,766
GIRLFRIEND, YOU
KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
216
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:34,232
NO. WHAT TIME IS IT?
217
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,699
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET
YOUR GROOVE BACK...AGAIN!
218
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:45,032
WELL, UH...
219
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,732
BYE.
WHERE YOU GOING?
220
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:52,365
UH, HOME.
YOU KNOW, FOR DINNER.
221
00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:54,298
OH, YEAH?
WHAT ARE WE HAVING?
222
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,966
OH, UH I WAS ONLY SUPPOSED
TO GO TO A MOVIE WITH YOU.
223
00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:58,632
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
224
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,565
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, LIKE, NO NECKING.
225
00:09:01,634 --> 00:09:02,765
[Laughing]
226
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,766
SO I CAN HAVE
DINNER WITH YOU?
227
00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:06,698
UH, SURE.
228
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,132
THAT WOULD BE MUCH
BETTER THAN HAVING
A QUIET DINNER
229
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,598
WITH MY FAMILY,
WHO I LOVE AND
AM NOT AFRAID OF.
230
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:12,665
[Door opens]
231
00:09:12,734 --> 00:09:15,398
HEY, LOIS. THIS
IS BIG FAT PAULIE.
232
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,265
HE'S GONNA BE
JOINING US FOR DINNER.
233
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:19,799
REALLY? WHAT A NICE SURPRISE!
234
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:22,999
PETER, CAN I TALK TO
YOU FOR A SECOND?
235
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,899
PETER, YOU CAN'T
JUST BRING COMPANY HOME
236
00:09:24,967 --> 00:09:26,732
AT THE LAST
SECOND WITHOUT CALLING.
237
00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,132
I AM GETTING
SICK AND TIRED
238
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,299
OF YOU DOING EVERYTHING
WITHOUT CONSULTING ME.
239
00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:31,932
AND...
240
00:09:32,001 --> 00:09:33,266
UH, DO YOU MIND?
241
00:09:33,335 --> 00:09:35,998
AS A MATTER
OF FACT I DO,
YOU CRAZY BROAD.
242
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,431
I AM NOT A
CRAZY BROAD!
243
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:41,231
OH, NO, LOIS. HE
DIDN'T MEAN YOU'RE
CRAZY LIKE, UH
244
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,465
LIKE ELIZABETH TAYLOR.
245
00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:47,299
HE MEANT YOU'RE
CRAZY LIKE THAT GLUE.
246
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:50,165
YOU STICK TO THINGS.
YOU KNOW, LIKE
AN ADHESIVE.
247
00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:50,998
HA.
248
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,465
THAT'S ALL HE MEANT.
249
00:09:55,368 --> 00:09:57,432
YOU HAVE A PRETTY
GOOD APPETITE THERE, KID.
250
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,732
I BET YOU SPEND A LOT
OF TIME IN THE JOHN.
251
00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:02,498
UM, I'M SORRY. WHAT
FINISHING SCHOOL DID
YOU SAY YOU WENT TO?
252
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:05,498
YES! GOOD HEAVENS!
WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW
TO EAT? MICKEY ROURKE?
253
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:06,765
WHY DO I KNOW
THAT NAME?
254
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:08,598
DAMN YOU,
ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT!
255
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:09,731
HI, I'M BOB GOEN,
256
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,632
AND THESE ARE
MARY HART'S LEGS.
257
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:13,165
MARY, YOU
RECENTLY SPENT
SOME TIME
258
00:10:13,234 --> 00:10:14,765
WITH JULIA ROBERTS,
DIDN'T YOU?
259
00:10:15,634 --> 00:10:16,865
MARY SAYS, "YES."
260
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,165
[Chewing loudly]
261
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,732
TELL ME, KID. WHAT
ARE YOU, LIKE 27?
262
00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:22,965
[Laughing]
I'M 13.
263
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:24,232
STILL A MINOR, HUH?
264
00:10:24,301 --> 00:10:26,465
HEY, SON, HOW'D YOU
LIKE TO BE A COKE MULE?
265
00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:28,165
PETER, LIVING ROOM?
266
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,965
NO, LOIS. KITCHEN.
267
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,565
PETER, I HAVE A BAD
FEELING ABOUT THIS MAN.
268
00:10:36,634 --> 00:10:39,599
HE'S NOT THE KIND OF
PERSON I WANT HANGING
AROUND OUR FAMILY.
269
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:40,998
HONEY, YOU'RE
OVERREACTING.
270
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:43,466
WILL YOU PLEASE JUST
LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE?
271
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:45,265
THAT MAN IS BAD NEWS!
272
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:46,599
I WANT HIM OUT
OF OUR HOUSE
273
00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,198
AND OUT OF
OUR LIVES!
274
00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:50,699
ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I'LL JUST
GIVE YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO HELP YOU RELAX.
275
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:51,899
NOW!
OK.
276
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,465
UH, BIG
FAT PAULIE,
277
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:55,232
THERE'S SOMETHING
I GOTTA TELL YOU.
278
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,066
UM...
279
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,999
DO YOU EVER STARE
UP AT THE NIGHT SKY
280
00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:01,265
AND WONDER IF SOMEONE MIGHT
BE LOOKING BACK AT YOU?
281
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:03,032
NO. BUT JUST IN CASE
282
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:05,231
LOOK AT THIS, YOU
FREAKING ALIENS!
283
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,765
OH, AH, HI, BONNIE.
284
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,266
THIS IS MY FRIEND
BIG FAT PAULIE.
285
00:11:11,335 --> 00:11:13,999
AND, UH, THIS IS
HIS BIG FAT ASS.
286
00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:18,131
WHAT'S ON YOUR
MIND, PETEY?
287
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,165
LOOK, UH, WE CAN'T
BE FRIENDS ANYMORE.
288
00:11:21,234 --> 00:11:22,265
OH.
289
00:11:22,334 --> 00:11:23,365
I'M SORRY.
290
00:11:23,434 --> 00:11:24,898
HEY, FORGET
ABOUT IT.
291
00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,364
[Crying]
292
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:29,099
AW, JEEZ, LOOK, IT'S
NOT YOU. IT'S LOIS.
293
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,799
SHE DOESN'T WANT ME
HANGING AROUND WITH YOU.
294
00:11:30,867 --> 00:11:31,998
REALLY?
YEAH.
295
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,398
Y-YOU'RE NOT
JUST SAYING THAT?
296
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:34,765
NO, NO.
IT'S ALL LOIS.
297
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:36,432
IF ONLY I'D
MET YOU FIRST,
298
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,665
BUT, HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO?
299
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,365
SO LOIS IS THE
PROBLEM, HUH?
300
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:40,999
YEAH. BUT IT'S
NOT HER FAULT.
301
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,332
SHE DOESN'T
WANT TO SEE ME
302
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,898
FALL IN WITH A
TOUGH CROWD AGAIN.
303
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:46,265
CAVITY CREEPS!
304
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:51,132
WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!
305
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,166
SO IF SHE
WASN'T AROUND,
306
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,465
WE COULD STILL BE
FRIENDS, RIGHT?
307
00:11:55,533 --> 00:11:56,798
YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT?
308
00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:59,932
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
COME HERE, YOU!
309
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,066
HEE-HEE!
OW! OW!
310
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:20,932
AH!
311
00:12:22,267 --> 00:12:23,765
[Grunting]
312
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:26,932
[Cheering]
313
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:34,065
"WILLIE LOMAN NEVER
MADE A LOT OF MONEY.
314
00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:36,798
"HIS NAME WAS
NEVER IN THE PAPER.
315
00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:40,332
"BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
ATTENTION COULD BE PAID."
316
00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:42,965
"PEOPLE ARE WORSE
OFF THAN WILLIE LOMAN."
317
00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:46,898
JEEZ, COME ON,
EVERYBODY.
318
00:12:46,968 --> 00:12:48,832
I KNOW IT SUCKS, BUT
THEY'RE JUST KIDS.
319
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,331
PETER, HOW CAN YOU SLEEP?
I WAS ALMOST KILLED!
320
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,565
AW, COME ON, LOIS.
THE ONLY VICTIM TONIGHT
321
00:12:57,633 --> 00:12:59,564
WAS THE WORK
OF ARTHUR MILLER.
322
00:12:59,634 --> 00:13:01,032
[Phone ringing]
323
00:13:01,101 --> 00:13:03,665
HELLO? HEY,
BIG FAT PAULIE!
324
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:06,631
NO, LOIS ISN'T DEAD YET.
325
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:09,132
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU'RE GONNA
FIRE THAT HITMAN?
326
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,299
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU THOUGHT SHE'D BE
6-FEET UNDER BY NOW
327
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:12,999
AND WE'D BE ABLE
TO CATCH A MOVIE?
328
00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:13,832
WHAT D'YA--
329
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:14,865
[Gasping]
330
00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:16,565
YOU THOUGHT I WANTED
YOU TO WHACK LOIS?
331
00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:17,965
GUILTY!
332
00:13:18,034 --> 00:13:19,899
IT'S NOT TOO LATE
TO HAVE THE HIT
CALLED OFF, IS IT?
333
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,065
YEAH.
334
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,798
GOTCHA!
335
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,299
[Laughing]
ALL I GOTTA DO
IS MAKE A CALL.
336
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,632
[Screaming]
337
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:43,166
AW, JEEZ!
338
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:44,698
YOU OK?
339
00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:55,431
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT THIS.
340
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,532
HOW COULD YOU BRING A
MOBSTER INTO YOUR OWN HOME?
341
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,132
BOY, IF YOU'RE UPSET NOW,
WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THE REST.
342
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,398
I WAS TALKING TO BIG
FAT PAULIE THE OTHER DAY,
343
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,631
AND ONE THING
LED TO ANOTHER AND
344
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:07,565
I SORT OF PUT A
HIT OUT ON YOU.
345
00:14:07,634 --> 00:14:10,698
HOW COULD YOU
PUT A HIT ON ME?
346
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:12,265
THAT'S NOT EVEN
THE WORST PART.
347
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,665
WAIT. YEAH, IT IS.
348
00:14:13,734 --> 00:14:14,765
PETER!
349
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:16,799
LOOK, DON'T WORRY. I
GOT IT ALL WORKED OUT.
350
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:18,565
WE'LL MOVE TO
ENGLAND. HUH?
351
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,198
THE WORST THEY
GOT THERE IS, UH,
352
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:22,198
YOU KNOW,
DRIVE-BY ARGUMENTS.
353
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,999
I SAY, JEREMY, ISN'T THAT
REGINALD B. STIFFWORTH
354
00:14:27,068 --> 00:14:29,332
THE YOUNG UPSTART CHAP WHO'S
BEEN TOUTING THE MERITS
355
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,799
OF THE UNITED
EUROPEAN COMMONWEALTH?
356
00:14:30,868 --> 00:14:32,566
WHY, YES. I DARE SAY,
THAT'S THE FELLOW.
357
00:14:32,634 --> 00:14:34,032
OH, LET'S GET HIM.
358
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,532
OH, REGINALD!
359
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,299
I DISAGREE!
360
00:14:38,367 --> 00:14:39,365
[Engine revs]
361
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,099
[Tires screech]
362
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:49,999
I WOULD LIKE A "BUNNY."
363
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:52,799
WHAT KIND OF "BUNNY"?
A SEMI-AUTOMATIC "BUNNY"
364
00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:54,399
OR A HAND-HELD "BUNNY"?
365
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:57,132
WHICHEVER "BUNNY"
YOU THINK IS BETTER
366
00:14:57,201 --> 00:14:58,565
FOR SHOOTING A
GUY IN THE HEAD.
367
00:14:58,634 --> 00:15:00,999
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
368
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,132
LOOK, I--I GOTTA CALL
OFF THE HIT ON MY WIFE.
369
00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:04,331
WHERE'S THE DON?
370
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,999
THE DON? I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
371
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:08,365
AW, COME ON.
THE DON,
372
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:09,999
THE CAPTAIN
OF THE MAFIA.
373
00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:13,966
PETER, THERE IS NO
SUCH THING AS THE MAFIA.
374
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:16,132
"THE DON'S DAUGHTER IS
GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
375
00:15:16,201 --> 00:15:18,132
"HERE'S MY INVITATION.
376
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:20,465
"NOW GET THE ASTERISK-
PERCENT-AMPERSAND
377
00:15:20,534 --> 00:15:22,798
OUT OF HERE, YOU SOB."
378
00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:24,331
WHAT'S A SOB?
AH!
379
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,165
DHARMA, COME DOWN
FROM THAT COUCH.
380
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:32,298
UH-UH, GOOFY. WHY
DON'T YOU COME UP?
381
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,831
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I WILL!
382
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,631
[Audience laughing]
383
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,632
BOY, WHAT A
MISMATCHED PAIR.
384
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:48,832
A FREE SPIRIT
AND A PUPPET.
385
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,165
PETER, THANK GOD.
386
00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:52,799
DID YOU TAKE
CARE OF THAT THING?
387
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,665
THAT THING? OH, OH.
YOU MEAN THAT GROWTH?
388
00:15:55,733 --> 00:15:58,032
YEAH. I HAD THE
DOCTOR LOOK AT THAT.
389
00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,465
MR. GRIFFIN, THAT
ISN'T A GROWTH.
390
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:00,965
THAT'S YOUR PENIS.
391
00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:02,132
OH.
392
00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:03,364
WELL, WHAT
ABOUT THE--
393
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:04,266
TESTICLES.
394
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,966
HUH.
395
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,098
PETER, I'M TALKING
ABOUT THE MOB HIT!
396
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,332
MOM'S GONNA
GET WHACKED?
397
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,599
WHAT DID YOU DO?
398
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,299
OH, DEAR, THERE ARE SO
MANY PEOPLE TO THANK.
399
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:17,865
GOD, OF COURSE,
AND WHO ELSE?
400
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,799
THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED.
401
00:16:22,267 --> 00:16:23,966
OH, YES. SATAN.
402
00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:25,866
I'M SORRY, LOIS.
THE HIT'S STILL ON.
403
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:27,866
ALL I GOT WAS THIS
WEDDING INVITATION.
404
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:29,365
WAIT A SECOND, PETER.
405
00:16:29,434 --> 00:16:31,799
THE DON'S DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
THAT--THAT'S PERFECT.
406
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,365
IT'S NOT THAT PERFECT.
407
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,065
WE'LL PROBABLY
HAVE TO BUY A GIFT.
408
00:16:35,134 --> 00:16:37,698
AND YOU KNOW HOW
BAD I AM WHEN IT
COMES TO BUYING GIFTS.
409
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:39,832
HAPPY FREAKING
BIRTHDAY, LOIS!
410
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:42,132
OH, MY GOODNESS,
IT'S A...
411
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,232
[Sighs]
412
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:44,731
ANOTHER SWORD.
413
00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:46,698
THANK YOU, PETER.
414
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:48,698
GO AHEAD. TRY IT ON.
415
00:16:48,768 --> 00:16:50,465
DIDN'T YOU SEE
THE GODFATHER?
416
00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:53,765
A DON CAN'T REFUSE A
FAVOR ON THE DAY OF
HIS DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
417
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:54,831
SO?
418
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,164
SO WE CAN ASK
HIM FOR A FAVOR.
419
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,232
SO?
420
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,765
SO WE ASK HIM TO
CALL OFF THE HIT.
421
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:01,898
SO?
422
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,465
SO...
423
00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:06,132
PETER, I DON'T
KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT
ANY CLEARER THAN THAT.
424
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,398
YOU CAN GO TO THE
WEDDING AND ASK THEM
NOT TO KILL MOM.
425
00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:10,165
NO WAY. IT'S
TOO DANGEROUS.
426
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:12,432
I GOT YOU INTO THIS, AND
I'LL GET YOU OUT OF IT.
427
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,732
NO, PETER.
428
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,099
WHEN WE GOT MARRIED,
WE AGREED TO SHARE OUR LIVES,
429
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:18,132
GOOD TIMES AND BAD.
430
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:18,999
SO?
431
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,498
SO WE'LL SOLVE
THIS PROBLEM.
432
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:21,865
WAIT? YOU
MEAN TOGETHER?
433
00:17:21,934 --> 00:17:22,932
YES.
434
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:24,999
BECAUSE TOGETHER
WE CAN DO ANYTHING,
435
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:27,999
FACE ANY FOE,
OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE.
436
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,698
YEAH, CLIMB
ANY MOUNTAIN,
437
00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:31,732
RENT ANY VIDEO,
DIAL ANY PHONE.
438
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,265
AND NOT JUST
OUR PHONE, LOIS.
439
00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:35,632
OTHER PEOPLE'S
PHONES. DECENT PHONES!
440
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:36,999
GOD-FEARING PHONES!
441
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:39,065
PHONES THAT EVERYBODY
ELSE GAVE UP ON
442
00:17:39,134 --> 00:17:42,465
BUT WE KNEW BETTER,
BECAUSE WE WERE A TEAM!
443
00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:45,532
WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
444
00:17:45,601 --> 00:17:48,265
[Computer]
TURN RIGHT AT FORK IN ROAD.
445
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,298
IN SOVIET RUSSIA,
ROAD FORKS YOU!
446
00:17:51,367 --> 00:17:53,932
BOY, IS THAT
GETTING OLD.
447
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:56,932
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS,
LOIS. WHAT IF SOMETHING
HAPPENS TO YOU?
448
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,032
I'M TOO OLD TO
START DATING AGAIN.
449
00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:01,099
OK. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE.
450
00:18:01,168 --> 00:18:02,865
I'M AN ICE CREAM CONE.
451
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:05,032
HOW ARE YOU GONNA EAT ME?
452
00:18:05,101 --> 00:18:06,599
I'D INVITE MY
FRIEND RUDY OVER,
453
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:09,298
AND THE 2 OF US
WOULD GIVE YOU
A "DOUBLE DIP."
454
00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:12,166
[Bachelorette]
OOH. OK,
BACHELOR NUMBER 2.
455
00:18:12,235 --> 00:18:13,465
I'D LICK OFF ALL THE CREAM
456
00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,932
AND GIVE YOU MY
SPECIAL WHIPPED TOPPING.
457
00:18:16,001 --> 00:18:17,932
[Bachelorette]
HA-HA. SOUNDS GOOD.
BACHELOR NUMBER 3?
458
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:19,999
I WOULD TRY TO EAT
YOU REALLY FAST
459
00:18:20,068 --> 00:18:21,531
BEFORE I GOT FLACCID.
460
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,832
I'LL BE FINE. ALL WE
HAVE TO DO IS BLEND IN.
461
00:18:25,901 --> 00:18:27,398
NO PROBLEM.
462
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:30,599
♪ LIKE A
RHINESTONE COWBOY ♪
463
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:31,932
♪ DA-DA! ♪
464
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,899
♪ RIDING... ♪
465
00:18:32,968 --> 00:18:35,298
♪[Mumbling]
466
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:37,665
♪ ON A STAR-SPANGLED
HORSE AND RODEO ♪
467
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:40,332
FOR MY NEXT NUMBER...
468
00:18:40,401 --> 00:18:41,998
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
THANK YOU PAWTUCKET!
469
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,333
[Whispering]
470
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,431
DAVID SCHWIMMER?
471
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,732
YEAH, HEY.
472
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,331
WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA ASK THE DON FOR?
473
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,765
WORLD PEACE.
474
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:52,899
[Laughing]
475
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,099
[Laughing]
476
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,665
NUMBER 34!
477
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:56,632
3-4!
478
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,131
RIGHT HERE!
479
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,798
PETER, MY
GOOD FRIEND.
480
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:02,065
HOW GOOD OF YOU TO COME
AND SHOW YOUR RESPECT
481
00:19:02,134 --> 00:19:04,598
ON THIS,
THE DAY OF MY
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
482
00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:07,632
YEAH, SORRY I DIDN'T
BRING A GIFT. BUT THE
STORES WERE MOBBED.
483
00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:10,166
I MEAN "MOBBED"
AS IN "CROWDED."
484
00:19:10,235 --> 00:19:12,298
NOT "MOBBED"
AS--AS IN, UH...
485
00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:13,498
YOU GUYS.
486
00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:14,665
[Laughing]
487
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:16,299
WHO IS THIS ENCHANTING WOMAN?
488
00:19:16,368 --> 00:19:18,598
THIS IS MY WIFE,
LOIS. AH!
489
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,532
YOUR HONOR, SIR,
490
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,766
WE'VE COME TO ASK--
491
00:19:21,834 --> 00:19:22,966
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
492
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,765
PETER, I THOUGHT
WE WERE A TEAM.
493
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:27,398
LISTEN, YOUR DON-NESS.
I GOT A LITTLE
FAVOR TO ASK YOU.
494
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,098
GO AHEAD. AS YOU KNOW,
495
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,364
I AM OBLIGATED
TO GRANT ONE FAVOR
496
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:33,932
ON THIS, THE DAY OF MY
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
497
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:37,165
WHILE YOU ASK ME FOR
THIS ONE AND ONLY FAVOR,
498
00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:40,431
I WILL SIT HERE AND ENJOY
THIS VERY FINE TIRAMISU.
499
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,198
AW, CAN I HAVE A PIECE?
PETER!
500
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,866
GRANTED. NEXT.
501
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,265
[Gasps]
AW, CRAP.
502
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,498
I'M SORRY I USED
UP OUR FAVOR, LOIS.
503
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:50,266
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HERE. IT'S YOURS.
504
00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:51,865
NO, NO. REALLY.
I INSIST.
505
00:19:51,934 --> 00:19:53,899
PETER, I'M GONNA
BE KILLED!
506
00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:55,966
DOES THAT MEAN
NOTHING TO YOU?
507
00:19:56,034 --> 00:19:59,331
OF COURSE IT DOES.
IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.
508
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,966
OH, GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?
509
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,465
I'M NOT MARRYING YOU!
510
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,998
I'M NOT MARRYING YOU,
YOU SPOILED GUINEA... WHOOPS.
511
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:07,399
MY DAUGHTER,
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM
YOU ARE HAVING
512
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,498
ON THIS, THE DAY OF MY
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING?
513
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,932
LARRY WANTS
TO WHACK SOMEONE
ON OUR HONEYMOON!
514
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,198
HEY, HEY. IT'S MY JOB, ALL
RIGHT? THIS IS WHAT I DO.
515
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,965
YOU 2 SHOULD STOP FIGHTING
AND LISTEN TO EACH OTHER.
516
00:20:17,034 --> 00:20:17,965
[Both]
HUH?
517
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:19,298
SEE, MARRIAGE
IS A PARTNERSHIP.
518
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,999
IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE,
YOU'VE GOTTA WORK TOGETHER
519
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,298
AS A TEAM.
520
00:20:23,366 --> 00:20:25,298
I--I LEARNED
THAT THE HARD WAY.
521
00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:27,331
I DIDN'T LISTEN TO WHAT
MY WIFE HAD TO SAY,
522
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,166
AND NOW SHE'S AS
GOOD AS DEAD.
523
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,498
OH, PETER!
524
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:33,032
THAT'S AWFUL. IS
THIS YOUR WIFE?
525
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,133
YEAH. THAT'S LOIS.
526
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:34,932
AH!
527
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,099
[Sniffing]
528
00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:38,266
I GUESS WE COULD
POSTPONE OUR TRIP.
529
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,865
HA. WE WON'T HAVE TO.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!
530
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:42,865
SHE'S THE ONE I'M
SUPPOSED TO WHACK.
531
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,265
[Laughing]
532
00:20:46,134 --> 00:20:47,365
PETER!
533
00:20:47,433 --> 00:20:49,598
PLEASE, DON,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO
ME ONE MORE FAVOR.
534
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:50,966
LOOK,
535
00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:53,433
I LOVE MY WIFE
MORE THAN ANYTHING
IN THE WORLD.
536
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,165
CAN YOU PLEASE
SHOOT ME INSTEAD OF HER?
537
00:20:56,234 --> 00:20:58,565
SUCH TENDERNESS
AND LOVE ON THIS,
538
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,732
THE DAY OF MY
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
539
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,832
WHY DON'T I JUST
CALL OFF THE HIT?
540
00:21:02,901 --> 00:21:04,331
OH. YEAH,
THAT COULD WORK.
541
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,966
WAIT! WE'RE A TEAM.
542
00:21:06,034 --> 00:21:08,398
IS THAT OK WITH YOU?
BECAUSE YOUR OPINION
MATTERS, TOO.
543
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,598
YES! LET'S GET THE
HELL OUT OF HERE!
544
00:21:10,667 --> 00:21:13,465
THANK YOU FOR
A LOVELY TIME.
545
00:21:13,534 --> 00:21:15,065
YEAH, IT'S THE
BLUE SEDAN.
546
00:21:15,134 --> 00:21:16,232
NO TIPS, SIR.
547
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,331
AH, NICE KID.
548
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,665
WELL, I THINK I HANDLED
THAT PRETTY GOOD,
549
00:21:19,734 --> 00:21:21,765
BUT--BUT I WOULD LIKE
A SECOND OPINION.
550
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,665
HMM.
551
00:21:22,734 --> 00:21:24,365
HERE IT IS.
552
00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:25,265
[Giggles]
553
00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:29,232
OH, MY GOD!
OUR CAR!
554
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,498
OH, MAN. AM I
GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.
555
00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:33,731
I ALMOST FORGOT.
DON'T START YOUR CAR.
556
00:21:35,233 --> 00:21:36,631
HEY, THANKS FOR COMING.
557
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,831
[Sighs]
WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT.
558
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,331
IT'S NOT SO BAD, LOIS.
I LEARNED MY LESSON.
559
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,398
AND BEST OF ALL,
560
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,332
NOBODY
IMPORTANT GOT HURT.
561
00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,032
♪[Theme music playing]