1
00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:05,166
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:05,235 --> 00:00:08,431
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,765
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:14,865
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:14,934 --> 00:00:18,298
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:21,499
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,567 --> 00:00:23,465
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:24,998
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:29,931
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,832
HEY, GUYS! GUYS,
CHECK IT OUT.
11
00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:37,398
QUAGMIRE'S TRYING
TO GET LUCKY.
12
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:39,665
HEY, GORGEOUS!
YOU WANT TO
COME HOME WITH ME?
13
00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,165
I'M WITH
MY HUSBAND!
14
00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:43,831
LOSE THE ZERO,
GET WITH THE HERO.
15
00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:46,032
LITTLE VIOLENT
FOR YOU,
DON'T YOU THINK?
16
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,899
HEH! I'LL BE RIGHT
OVER THERE.
17
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:50,732
[Man]
WE INTERRUPT WITH
THIS BREAKING NEWS.
18
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,066
AFTER YEARS OF
ISOLATION,
19
00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:53,866
THE MYSTERIOUS AND
ECCENTRIC BREWMEISTER,
20
00:00:53,934 --> 00:00:55,565
PAWTUCKET PAT,
HAS ANNOUNCED
THAT HE'S
21
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:57,431
OPENING HIS
NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN
BREWERY
22
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,765
TO A LUCKY FEW.
23
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:01,266
PAWTUCKET PAT
HAS PLACED 4
SILVER SCROLLS
24
00:01:01,335 --> 00:01:03,032
IN 4 RANDOM BEERS.
25
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,432
EACH LUCKY SCROLL-
WINNER AND A GUEST
OF THEIR CHOICE
26
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:06,965
WILL TAKE
A MAGICAL TOUR
27
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,532
OF THE BREWERY
AND WALK AWAY
28
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,399
WITH A LIFETIME
SUPPLY OF BEER.
29
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,399
WHAT?
DON'T COMPLAIN.
30
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,798
THIS IS ACTUALLY
MAKING YOU LOOK
ATTRACTIVE.
31
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,665
OH MAN! DID YOU
GUYS HEAR THAT?
32
00:01:17,733 --> 00:01:19,399
IMAGINE SEEING
THE INSIDE
33
00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:21,299
OF THE PAWTUCKET
PATRIOT BREWERY.
34
00:01:21,368 --> 00:01:23,032
FORGET IT, PETER.
YOU DON'T HAVE
A CHANCE.
35
00:01:23,101 --> 00:01:24,932
YEAH. YOU NEVER
WIN ANYTHING.
36
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,698
REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WENT
ON PASSWORD?
37
00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:30,531
[Host]
THIS ONE IS FOR PETER GRIFFIN
AND TONY RANDALL.
38
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,698
[Announcer]
THE PASSWORD IS "FLAMING."
39
00:01:33,367 --> 00:01:34,531
YOU...
40
00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:36,799
ACTOR.
41
00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:39,099
YOU...
42
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,431
TONY?
43
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,665
YOU...
44
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:45,198
♪[Piano playing]
45
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,231
♪[Playing wrong notes]
46
00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:52,199
VERY GOOD, JONAS.
47
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,832
OH, MY! LOOK
AT THE TIME.
48
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,299
MRS. GRIFFIN,
I PRACTICED JUST
LIKE YOU SAID.
49
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,498
FAR BE IT FROM ME
TO CALL YOU A LIAR.
50
00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:00,565
HUH?
51
00:02:00,634 --> 00:02:02,465
NOTHING. NOTHING.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
52
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:04,531
MOM, HOW COME ALL
YOUR STUDENTS SUCK?
53
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,364
I DON'T KNOW,
HONEY.
54
00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:08,166
ALL I WANT
IS ONE PUPIL
55
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:10,999
WHO'S GOOD ENOUGH TO WIN
THE PIANO COMPETITION.
56
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:14,366
I'M SICK OF COMING IN 2ND TO
THAT AWFUL ALEXIS RADCLIFFE.
57
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,532
EVERY YEAR SHE WINS
AND RUBS IT IN MY FACE.
58
00:02:17,601 --> 00:02:20,399
DON'T WORRY,
SWEETHEART. THERE'S
ALWAYS NEXT YEAR.
59
00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:21,732
[Tires screeching]
60
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:24,165
CONGRATULATIONS ON
2ND PLACE, LOIS.
61
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:29,598
[Knocking at door]
62
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:31,532
OH, LOIS, THANK
GOD IT'S YOU!
63
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,632
THE LAST 3 HOUSES
I WENT TO WERE
VERY RUDE.
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00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,899
HAVE YOU BEEN
DRINKING?
65
00:02:35,967 --> 00:02:37,364
WHY, YES I HAVE.
THANK YOU.
66
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:39,131
I GOT TO FIND
ONE OF THOSE
SILVER SCROLLS.
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00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,233
EVERYONE'S
LOOKING FOR THEM.
68
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,365
ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN TO ME, YOU
LONG-NECK BASTARD!
69
00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:46,765
YOU GIVE ME THE SCROLL,
70
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,032
AND I MAKE YOU
HEAD OF SANITATION
SERVICES
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00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,798
FOR THE ENTIRE CITY.
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00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:52,798
IT'S A DO-NOTHING
JOB, SWEETCAKE.
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00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:58,132
2 MORE DEAD
FROM ALCOHOL
POISONING. HMM.
74
00:02:58,201 --> 00:03:00,332
LOOKING FOR
THAT SCROLL, HUH?
75
00:03:00,401 --> 00:03:02,632
WOULDN'T MIND
FINDING THAT
THING MYSELF.
76
00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:07,265
[Groaning]
77
00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:09,932
AH, JEEZ.
78
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,599
OH, MAN.
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00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,798
I HOPE I DON'T
GET PULLED OVER.
80
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,465
OK, BE COOL.
MAINTAIN.
81
00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:25,998
[Car starting]
82
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,132
COME ON, DEATH.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
83
00:03:28,201 --> 00:03:29,899
[Tires screeching]
84
00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:31,298
WHY DO YOU
CARE SO MUCH
85
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:33,231
ABOUT TOURING
A STUPID BREWERY?
86
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,398
LOIS, EVERYONE
HAS THEIR SANCTUARY.
87
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:36,965
THE CATHOLICS
HAVE CHURCHES.
88
00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:38,698
FAT PEOPLE
HAVE WISCONSIN.
89
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,798
AND I HAVE THE
PAWTUCKET BREWERY.
90
00:03:40,867 --> 00:03:42,799
N-NOW, HELP ME
DRINK THESE BEERS.
91
00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:44,932
PETER, I'M NOT
DRINKING THIS.
92
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,999
OK. OK. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
93
00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:48,066
LOIS, UH,
94
00:03:48,134 --> 00:03:49,831
I'M GONNA GO
TO THE STORE NOW.
95
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,332
OK?
HERE I GO.
96
00:03:51,401 --> 00:03:53,531
♪ DA, DA-DA,
DA-DA, DA-DA,
DA-DA, DA-DA ♪
97
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:56,899
[Gurgling]
98
00:03:56,967 --> 00:03:58,298
STOP IT!
99
00:03:58,366 --> 00:04:01,298
WHAT IF THE KIDS
WERE TO SEE YOU
DRINKING LIKE THIS?
100
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,865
ESPECIALLY STEWIE.
HE'S SO IMPRESSIONABLE.
101
00:04:07,201 --> 00:04:09,232
OH, MY GOD!
PLEASE TELL ME
WE DIDN'T DO IT.
102
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,199
GO! GO! GO!
103
00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:17,598
GO! GO!
104
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,832
[Sighs]
NOTHING!
105
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:21,898
PETER, IT'S 7:00
IN THE MORNING!
106
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,832
THANKS FOR THE
UPDATE, BIG BEN!
107
00:04:23,901 --> 00:04:25,732
[Both laughing]
108
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:26,932
YOU'RE DRUNK
AGAIN!
109
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,032
NO, I'M
JUST EXHAUSTED
110
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,599
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN
UP ALL NIGHT
DRINKING.
111
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,398
LISTEN, PETER, IF
YOU KEEP THIS UP,
112
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,231
SOMETHING
TERRIBLE'S
GONNA HAPPEN.
113
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,531
YEAH, SOMETHING
TERRIBLE
114
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:36,199
ALL THE WAY
TO THE BANK!
115
00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,264
NICE.
116
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:38,965
UGH, I DON'T HAVE
TIME FOR THIS.
117
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,164
I'M LATE FOR
MY CHECKUP.
118
00:04:41,233 --> 00:04:42,598
[Joe]
WHOO!
119
00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:43,632
WHOO-HOO!
120
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,965
YEAH!
121
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,632
ALL RIGHT!
122
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:47,899
WHAT'S GOING ON?
123
00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:51,065
IT SEEMS JOE
HAS FOUND THE
FIRST SCROLL.
124
00:04:51,134 --> 00:04:52,866
HE'S TASTING
VICTORY.
125
00:04:52,934 --> 00:04:54,598
I BET IT
TASTES GOOD,
126
00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:56,665
LIKE SALTWATER
TAFFY
127
00:04:56,734 --> 00:04:58,132
OR A CHUNKY.
128
00:04:58,201 --> 00:04:59,233
OH, NO!
129
00:04:59,301 --> 00:05:01,198
THERE'S 4 TICKETS AND
ONE OF THEM'S GONE,
130
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,065
THAT--THAT--THAT--
THAT LEAVES...
131
00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:14,766
THIS MANY.
132
00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:20,531
GOOD MORNING,
MRS. GRIFFIN.
133
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,966
[Echoing]
HELLO. HELLO.
HELLO. HELLO.
134
00:05:23,034 --> 00:05:24,166
[Laughing]
135
00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:26,398
JUST KIDDING. SO,
UH, ANY PROBLEMS?
136
00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:28,599
NO. EVERYTHING'S
FINE, DOCTOR.
137
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:29,632
LOIS?
138
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,965
OH, HELLO,
ALEXIS.
139
00:05:32,034 --> 00:05:34,265
HEARD YOU MIGHT
NOT ENTER THE
COMPETITION THIS YEAR.
140
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,532
SMART MOVE.
141
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,065
YES. WELL, THERE
ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS IN LIFE
142
00:05:38,134 --> 00:05:40,332
THAN A PIANO
COMPETITION.
143
00:05:40,401 --> 00:05:42,498
OH, YES. ESPECIALLY
FOR THOSE
WHO HAVE NO--
144
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,032
OOH, THAT'S
COLD! CHANCE.
145
00:05:44,101 --> 00:05:46,132
FOR YOUR
INFORMATION,
146
00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:49,166
I HAVE A STUDENT
THAT COULD
WHIP YOU.
147
00:05:49,235 --> 00:05:50,631
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
148
00:05:50,701 --> 00:05:51,966
FRED, THIS IS
NOT A DATE!
149
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:53,765
[Fred]
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE
ALL DONE, ALEXIS.
150
00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:55,132
WELL, WHAT DO
YOU KNOW?
151
00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:57,832
ONCE AGAIN,
I FINISH FIRST.
152
00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:58,932
DON'T LET HER
GET TO YOU.
153
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,132
SHE ASKED FOR
"PINE FOREST."
154
00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:01,632
I GAVE HER "NEW CAR."
155
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:06,165
DID YOU HEAR?
IT'S OVER!
156
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,232
SOMEBODY FOUND
THE LAST SCROLL!
157
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,799
OH, MY GOD! NO!
158
00:06:09,867 --> 00:06:12,431
[Man]
IT'S TRUE. THE FINAL SCROLL
HAS BEEN RECOVERED.
159
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,865
THE LUCKY RECIPIENT
HAS DECLINED
160
00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:15,599
TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR
SAFETY REASONS.
161
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,632
BUT I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL
WITH ME WHEN I SAY,
162
00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:20,698
"CONGRATULATIONS,
YOU SON OF A BITCH."
163
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,598
WHAT AM I
GONNA DO NOW?
164
00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:24,066
HELLO,
DUMB-DUMB.
165
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,498
NOT NOW, GAZOO.
I WANT TO BE ALONE.
166
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,365
IT'S NOT ALWAYS
ABOUT YOU, FATSO.
167
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,632
MAYBE I
WANTED TO TALK.
168
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,565
I GUESS WANTING IT
MORE THAN ANYONE
169
00:06:32,634 --> 00:06:34,099
JUST WASN'T ENOUGH.
170
00:06:34,167 --> 00:06:35,532
H-HEY, YOU GUYS,
IT'S A FAKE.
171
00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:37,266
THERE'S STILL A
SCROLL OUT THERE.
172
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,999
THAT'S RIGHT,
I MADE IT UP.
173
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,365
I FIGURED IF PEOPLE
THOUGHT THE LAST
SCROLL WAS FOUND,
174
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:44,632
EVERYONE WOULD
STOP LOOKING,
175
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,665
GIVING ME THE EDGE
TO FIND IT MYSELF.
176
00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:48,165
BUT WHAT I DID
WAS WRONG.
177
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:50,232
AND AS AN ACT
OF CONTRITION,
I WILL NOW INSERT
178
00:06:50,301 --> 00:06:52,266
THIS CARNIVOROUS
EARWIG INTO
MY BRAIN.
179
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:55,132
HA! KIND OF
TICKLES.
180
00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:57,698
[Breathing deeply]
181
00:06:57,767 --> 00:06:59,199
[Screaming]
182
00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:01,765
OH, GOD!
183
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,565
IT'S EATING
OUT THE BACK
OF MY EYES!
184
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:06,865
IN OTHER NEWS,
CHOCOLATE
MAY BE BETTER
185
00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:08,332
FOR YOU THAN
ONCE THOUGHT.
186
00:07:08,401 --> 00:07:09,631
IN A RECENT
12-DAY STUDY...
187
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:14,032
MY LAST BEER.
HERE GOES.
188
00:07:18,201 --> 00:07:19,398
[Sighs]
189
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:22,832
I BET THAT SCROLL MAKES
THE BEER TASTE TERRIBLE.
190
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,232
OH, OH GOD!
191
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,332
[Vomiting]
192
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,865
WHAT THE HELL?
193
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,731
I FOUND IT!
194
00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:37,399
I FOUND THE
LAST SCROLL!
195
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:38,465
HE FOUND IT!
196
00:07:38,534 --> 00:07:39,732
OH, MY GOD!
197
00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:42,065
RUN HOME, PETER!
RUN AS FAST
AS YOU CAN!
198
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,032
AHH!
199
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,399
[Whimpers]
200
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,532
AHH!
201
00:08:01,601 --> 00:08:02,866
[Whimpers]
202
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,399
AHH!
203
00:08:05,468 --> 00:08:06,866
[Whimpers]
204
00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:09,199
AHH!
205
00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:13,265
AHH!
206
00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:17,399
AHH!
207
00:08:19,034 --> 00:08:20,299
AHH!
208
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,199
AHH!
209
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:28,832
♪[Marching band playing]
210
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,098
OH, MAN! THIS
IS THE HAPPIEST
DAY OF MY LIFE.
211
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:36,065
NOW I KNOW HOW
BARBRA STREISAND
MUST'VE FELT
212
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:37,832
THE DAY SHE MARRIED
JAMES BROLIN.
213
00:08:37,901 --> 00:08:38,998
I LOVE YOU.
214
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,098
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
215
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,265
I'M SO GLAD I MARRIED
A REGULAR PERSON
216
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,731
AND NOT
A CELEBRITY.
217
00:08:44,768 --> 00:08:47,098
PROFESSIONAL NINJA
JERRY NELSON,
218
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,365
HOW DID YOU FIND
YOUR SILVER SCROLL?
219
00:08:49,434 --> 00:08:51,798
WELL, I WAS AT HOME
NURSING THIS
THROWING-STAR WOUND.
220
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,398
MY WIFE JANIE
GIVES ME A BEER.
221
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,199
AND, BAM!
THERE IT WAS.
222
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:56,398
OH, HONEY,
I'M SORRY.
223
00:08:56,467 --> 00:08:58,498
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T
SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT.
224
00:08:58,566 --> 00:09:00,632
[Emcee]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IN HIS FIRST
225
00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:04,066
PUBLIC APPEARANCE EVER,
PAWTUCKET PAT!
226
00:09:04,134 --> 00:09:05,999
♪[Fanfare playing]
227
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,732
[Tires screeching]
228
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,032
[Gun firing]
229
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,165
[All gasping]
230
00:09:18,234 --> 00:09:19,966
THAT'S FOR MY
BROTHER LUIS!
231
00:09:20,034 --> 00:09:22,865
HE DRANK HIMSELF
TO DEATH ON YOUR
CRAPPY BEER!
232
00:09:22,934 --> 00:09:24,099
[Tires screeching]
233
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,332
GOT YA!
234
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,032
[All cheering]
235
00:09:30,101 --> 00:09:32,598
A BIG HAND FOR
CHEECH MARIN,
EVERYBODY.
236
00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:36,066
LET THE TOUR BEGIN.
237
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,166
HEY, LOOK.
238
00:09:42,235 --> 00:09:44,432
OH, THOSE ARE THE
CHUMBA WUMBAS. THEY
LIVE HERE WITH ME.
239
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,532
HEY, PAT?
240
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:47,165
WHERE'S THE
WHEELCHAIR RAMP?
241
00:09:47,234 --> 00:09:49,032
OH, WE DON'T
HAVE ONE.
242
00:09:49,101 --> 00:09:51,198
I GUESS
THIS IS WHERE
YOU GET OFF.
243
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:52,766
♪[Playing flute]
244
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:56,599
♪ CHUMBA WUMBA ♪
245
00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,332
♪ GOBBLEDY GOO ♪
246
00:09:58,401 --> 00:09:59,665
♪ LIFE ISN'T FAIR ♪
247
00:09:59,734 --> 00:10:01,632
♪ IT'S SAD BUT IT'S TRUE ♪
248
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,198
♪ CHUMBA WUMBA ♪
249
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:04,965
♪ GOBBLEDY GEE ♪
250
00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:08,298
♪ WHEN YOUR POOR LEGS
ARE STIFF AS A TREE ♪
251
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:11,699
♪ WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU'RE STUCK
IN A CHAIR? ♪
252
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:14,966
♪ FINDING IT HARD TO
GO UP AND DOWN STAIRS ♪
253
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:18,331
♪ WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THE ONE
YOU CALL GOD? ♪
254
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,099
♪ ISN'T HIS ABSENCE
SLIGHTLY ODD? ♪
255
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:24,998
♪ MAYBE HE'S
FORGOTTEN YOU ♪
256
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:26,531
♪ CHUMBA WUMBA ♪
257
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,331
♪ GOBBLEDY GORSE ♪
258
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,865
♪ COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY ♪
259
00:10:29,934 --> 00:10:31,298
♪ YOU'RE NOT A HORSE ♪
260
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:34,965
♪ THEY WOULD TURN
YOU INTO DOG FOOD ♪
261
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:39,032
♪ OR TO CHUMBA WUMBA
GOBBLEDY GLUE ♪
262
00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:41,465
I'M GLAD I'M
NOT TAKING YOUR
STUPID TOUR!
263
00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:42,998
I'M A COORS
MAN ANYWAY!
264
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:44,098
SILVER BULLET!
265
00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:45,665
♪ GOBBLEDY GLUE ♪
266
00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,265
♪[Playing scales]
267
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,299
VERY GOOD,
JIMMY.
268
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:55,698
[Sighs]
TRYING TO WATCH
269
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:56,899
THE HISTORY
CHANNEL HERE.
270
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:58,099
[Lois]
TRY IT AGAIN.
271
00:10:58,168 --> 00:10:59,333
♪[Playing piano]
272
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,032
NOT TALKING
TO MYSELF.
273
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,398
YOU'RE GOOD
ENOUGH TO TACKLE
A BEETHOVEN SONATA.
274
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:05,999
LET ME GRAB
THE SHEET MUSIC.
KEEP PLAYING.
275
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,966
♪[Playing scale]
276
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,364
[Thudding]
277
00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:14,899
I GOT THE MU...
OH, MY GOD!
278
00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:16,598
JIMMY, WHAT
HAPPENED?
279
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,698
YES, JIMMY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
280
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:20,732
I--I FELL.
281
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,932
IT'S ALL BEHIND
THIS DOOR.
282
00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:27,732
LADY AND
GENTLEMEN,
283
00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:29,165
THE BEER ROOM!
284
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:39,632
♪ TAKE A DRINK ♪
285
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,799
♪ AND YOU'LL SINK ♪
286
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,531
♪ TO A STATE ♪
287
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,899
♪ OF PURE
INEBRIATION ♪
288
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:47,798
♪ YOU'LL
BE TANKED ♪
289
00:11:47,868 --> 00:11:49,899
♪ LIKE THE WHOLE ♪
290
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:53,298
♪ IRISH NATION ♪
291
00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:56,765
[All murmuring]
292
00:11:58,901 --> 00:12:00,698
♪ WHEN YOU
DRINK ENOUGH ♪
293
00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:02,898
♪ OF MY BEER ♪
294
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:06,665
♪ YOU WILL FIND
THIS MAGIC RULE ♪
295
00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:08,465
♪ MAKE YOUR
EVERY JOKE ♪
296
00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:10,732
♪ A JEWEL ♪
297
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:13,132
♪ YOU'LL DRIVE
DRUNKER THAN ♪
298
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,932
♪ OKSANA BAIUL ♪
299
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,598
♪ GO ON, BUDS ♪
300
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,899
♪ DRINK MY SUDS ♪
301
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:27,232
♪ TILL YOU'VE
REACHED ♪
302
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,932
♪ THAT PURE
INEBRIATION ♪
303
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,765
♪ THOUGH THE BEER ♪
304
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,799
♪ MAY BE FREE ♪
305
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:36,265
♪ YOU'RE JUST ♪
306
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:40,798
♪ RENTING IT
FROM ME ♪
307
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,366
AH. IT'S LIKE I DIED
AND WENT TO HEAVEN.
308
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,932
BUT THEN THEY REALIZED
THAT IT WASN'T MY TIME.
309
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:52,965
AND SO THEY SENT ME
BACK TO A BREWERY.
310
00:12:54,768 --> 00:12:57,366
WE'RE STILL WORKING
THE BUGS OUT OF
OUR LATEST INVENTION
311
00:12:57,435 --> 00:12:58,365
PERMA SUDS,
312
00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,333
BEER THAT
NEVER GOES FLAT.
313
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,732
NO MATTER HOW
OLD IT GETS,
314
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,465
IT STAYS
CARBONATED.
315
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,865
[All]
WHOO.
316
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,866
BRIAN, WAIT.
317
00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:09,032
MAYBE--MAYBE
WE SHOULD STICK
WITH THE GROUP.
318
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:10,765
BEER THAT
NEVER GOES FLAT.
319
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,465
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS, BRIAN?
320
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:14,265
THIS BEER WILL
STILL BE CARBONATED
321
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,932
LONG AFTER YOU
DIE OF OLD AGE
322
00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:17,265
AND--AND WE BUY
ANOTHER DOG
323
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:18,399
TO HELP THE KIDS,
324
00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:19,999
YOU KNOW,
FORGET ABOUT YOU.
325
00:13:20,068 --> 00:13:21,632
PETER,
I WOULDN'T--
326
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:22,698
WOW,
327
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,498
THAT'S INCREDIBLE!
328
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,465
AH, WHAT THE
HELL? CHEERS.
329
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,199
I DON'T KNOW
WHY HE SAID
IT WASN'T READY.
330
00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:30,199
IT TASTES
PRETTY GOOD
TO--WHOA!
331
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,365
OH, MY GOD! WHAT
THE HELL'S HAPPENING?
332
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:33,832
MUST BE THE BEER!
333
00:13:33,901 --> 00:13:35,398
HEY, HEY,
CHECK THIS OUT.
334
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,065
AND LOOK AT THIS.
335
00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:42,032
OH, YEAH?
WATCH THIS.
336
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:45,565
OH, MY GOD!
337
00:13:45,634 --> 00:13:46,999
RELAX, BRIAN, IT'S
JUST A TRICK. SEE?
338
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,399
LOOK, MY THUMB
IS FINE.
339
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:50,366
I'M TALKING
ABOUT THAT!
340
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:52,532
HOLY CRAP!
341
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,532
THERE'S NOTHING
TO GRAB ONTO!
342
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,565
AH, THIS IS IT,
PAL. WE'RE GONERS.
343
00:13:58,633 --> 00:14:01,499
PETER, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'VE REALLY CHERISHED
OUR FRIENDSHIP.
344
00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:03,832
ME, TOO, BUDDY.
THAT'S WHY I WAS
HOLDING THIS IN.
345
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,333
BUT SINCE WE'RE
GONNA DIE ANYWAY...
346
00:14:06,401 --> 00:14:07,531
[Farting]
347
00:14:08,234 --> 00:14:09,665
PETER,
THAT'S IT!
348
00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:11,665
[Farting]
349
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,332
HEY, HEY,
PULL MY FINGER.
350
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,565
MY PLEASURE.
351
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:15,632
[Farting]
352
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:16,965
HEY, PETER?
THIS NEXT ONE
353
00:14:17,034 --> 00:14:18,698
YOU CAN BLAME
ON THE DOG.
354
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:19,999
[Farting]
355
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,699
AH, SILENT
BUT LIFESAVING.
356
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,866
WHAT THE
HELL IS THIS?
357
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,032
DIDN'T YOU
SEE THAT SIGN?
358
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,432
YOU'VE SULLIED
MY FACTORY
359
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,966
AND DISOBEYED MY RULES!
360
00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:33,731
I WANT YOU TO LEAVE
IMMEDIATELY!
361
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,832
OH, COME ON!
362
00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:37,232
D-DON'T I AT LEAST GET
A CHUMBA WUMBA SONG?
363
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:39,032
FINE.
364
00:14:39,101 --> 00:14:40,632
♪[Playing flute]
365
00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:44,898
♪ CHUMBA WUMBA GOBBLE ♪
366
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:45,966
AHH!
367
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:48,365
AHH!
368
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:49,732
[Whimpers]
369
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,432
AHH!
370
00:14:53,467 --> 00:14:55,832
COME ON, MEG.
THE COMPETITION
IS THIS SUNDAY
371
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,432
AND YOU'RE
NOT EVEN
CLOSE TO READY.
372
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,532
MAYBE IF YOU
LOOSEN MY CHAINS?
373
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,699
WE TRIED THAT.
REMEMBER, HONEY?
374
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,598
YOU CAN'T
BE TRUSTED.
375
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:04,998
LOIS, TAKE A LETTER.
376
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,632
"DEAR PAWTUCKET PAT,
377
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:07,932
"I HATE YOU.
378
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:09,765
"YOU ARE A BAD MAN.
379
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:11,266
"AND YOU MADE ME CRY.
380
00:15:11,335 --> 00:15:12,232
"FURTHERMORE--"
381
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,531
NOT NOW,
PETER.
382
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,731
MEG AND I ARE
HAVING A LITTLE
GIRL TIME.
383
00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:16,799
HELP ME!
384
00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:18,899
GO ON. NO
BOYS ALLOWED.
385
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:19,932
JEEZ, LOIS!
386
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:21,366
STILL WITH THE PIANO?
387
00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:22,532
WHAT'S A GUY
GOT TO DO
388
00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:24,399
TO GET A LITTLE
ATTENTION AROUND HERE?
389
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,065
♪[Playing notes]
390
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:29,165
♪[Playing song]
391
00:15:30,301 --> 00:15:31,965
PETER, THAT'S
INCREDIBLE!
392
00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:33,766
I DON'T
UNDERSTAND HOW...
393
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:35,865
YOU'RE LIKE
THE IDIOT
FROM SHINE!
394
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:36,965
MEG, YOU'RE
FREE.
395
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,298
TRY THE CLARINET.
396
00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:40,466
KEEP PLAYING!
KEEP PLAYING!
397
00:15:40,534 --> 00:15:42,399
♪[Playing piano]
398
00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:47,431
♪[Playing poorly]
399
00:15:48,934 --> 00:15:51,866
NO. NO. NO. PLAY
IT LIKE YOU
DID LAST NIGHT.
400
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,366
I--I CAN'T.
401
00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:56,266
PETER, TALENT
DOESN'T DISAPPEAR
JUST LIKE THAT.
402
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:57,965
WELL, SOMETIMES
IT DOES.
403
00:15:58,034 --> 00:16:00,464
I MEAN, YOU WERE
PRETTY BAD IN BED
SATURDAY NIGHT.
404
00:16:00,533 --> 00:16:02,431
COME ON, LOIS.
MOVE OR SOMETHING.
405
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,632
JEEZ, IT'S LIKE
DOING IT WITH A PILLOW!
406
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:06,899
PETER, I STAYED
AT MY MOTHER'S
THAT NIGHT.
407
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,232
OH.
408
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,798
AH, JEEZ!
THIS HANGOVER'S
KILLING ME.
409
00:16:10,868 --> 00:16:13,531
I HAVEN'T FELT
THIS CRAPPY SINCE
I WENT TO THAT MUSEUM.
410
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:16,732
WHY DID ALL
THE DINOSAURS
DIE OUT?
411
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,865
BECAUSE YOU
TOUCH YOURSELF
AT NIGHT.
412
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,264
HERE. THIS'LL MAKE
YOU FEEL BETTER.
413
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,799
♪[Playing piano]
414
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,932
I THINK
WE FOUND
HIS MUSE.
415
00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:36,231
OH, MY GOD!
416
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,331
YOU CAN ONLY PLAY
THE PIANO WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK.
417
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,264
THAT'S
NOT TRUE.
418
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,965
I CAN ALSO VOMIT,
FALL DOWN,
419
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,398
AND MAKE DIRTY CALLS
TO YOUR SISTER
WHEN I'M DRUNK.
420
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:44,565
GO PICK UP
A CASE OF BEER.
421
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,199
WE GOT A LOT OF
PRACTICING TO DO.
422
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,331
PRACTICING?
WHAT FOR?
423
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,565
THE COMPETITION.
424
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:50,231
YOU'RE GONNA BE
MY FIRST CHAMPION.
425
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,299
OH--OH, P-PLAY--
PLAY THAT SAD
WALKING-AWAY SONG
426
00:16:53,368 --> 00:16:54,932
FROM THE
INCREDIBLE HULK.
427
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:57,732
♪[Playing theme from
The Incredible Hulk]
428
00:16:57,801 --> 00:16:59,966
HEY. HEY, EVERYONE!
LOOK AT ME!
429
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:01,632
LOOK, LOOK.
LOOK AT ME.
430
00:17:11,801 --> 00:17:14,531
♪[Playing X-Files theme song]
431
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:30,966
HEY, THANKS.
YOU THINK THAT WAS
GREAT, WATCH THIS.
432
00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:32,798
UH-OH, LOIS,
433
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,333
I'M LOSING MY BUZZ!
434
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,932
I NEED MORE
TALENT JUICE.
435
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,598
ANOTHER BEER
ALREADY?
436
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:40,332
OH, WELL,
I GUESS I DON'T HAVE
TO BE PREPARED
437
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,765
FOR THE COMPETITION.
438
00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:43,731
I NEED ANOTHER
PITCHER OVER HERE.
439
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,231
WOW! LOIS MUST HAVE
WRITTEN THE BOOK
ON MAN-PLEASING.
440
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,098
TOO BAD LORETTA
DOESN'T ALLOW
441
00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,832
WHITE LITERATURE
IN OUR HOUSEHOLD.
442
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,565
WELL, HOW MUCH
HARM CAN ONE MORE
PITCHER DO?
443
00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:57,199
THIS IS FOR THE
SAKE OF ART, RIGHT?
444
00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:59,032
DON'T START
WITH ME, BRIAN.
445
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,899
THIS MAY NOT BE
MY PROUDEST MOMENT.
446
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,765
BUT, DAMN IT!
I WANT TO WIN.
447
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:06,098
WELL I GUESS YOU'RE NOT
THE FIRST PERSON TO DO
WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN.
448
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:07,399
YOU COME TO ME
449
00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:10,498
AND ASK ME TO KILL
A MAN I DO NOT KNOW.
450
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,698
NOW, I ASK YOU,
WHY SHOULD I KILL
451
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,399
THIS COUNT CHOCULA?
452
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:17,032
BECAUSE THAT SON
OF A BITCH HAS BEEN
SPREADING LIES!
453
00:18:17,101 --> 00:18:20,065
MY CEREAL DOES
NOT CUT THE ROOF
OF YOUR MOUTH.
454
00:18:20,134 --> 00:18:21,331
WITH ALL RESPECT.
455
00:18:24,001 --> 00:18:26,665
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M MISSING RONNIE'S
PARTY FOR THIS.
456
00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:28,531
THAT RONNIE'S
A BAD INFLUENCE.
457
00:18:28,601 --> 00:18:31,066
YEAH, THAT LITTLE
BASTARD SOLD ME
SOME REALLY BAD CRACK!
458
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:33,631
STAY OUT OF IT,
HERB! YOU'RE NOT
EVEN HIS REAL FATHER.
459
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:34,999
YES. WE'RE
CHECKING IN.
460
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,265
THE STUDENT'S NAME
IS PETER GRIFFIN.
461
00:18:37,334 --> 00:18:39,065
OH, YES. HE'S
ON IN AN HOUR.
462
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:41,132
YEAH. W-WHERE'S
THE NEAREST
LIQUOR STORE?
463
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:42,799
OH, THEY'RE ALL
CLOSED ON SUNDAYS.
464
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,132
THIS IS A DRY COUNTY.
465
00:18:44,201 --> 00:18:45,932
[Both gasping]
466
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,565
I CAN'T DO IT
WITHOUT BOOZE!
467
00:18:47,634 --> 00:18:49,132
WELL, MAYBE
THIS IS A SIGN
468
00:18:49,201 --> 00:18:50,732
THAT WE NEED
TO STOP THIS.
469
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,465
I'VE BEEN KEEPING
YOU RIPPED OUT
OF YOUR HEAD
470
00:18:52,534 --> 00:18:54,532
FOR MY OWN
SELFISH NEEDS.
471
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,065
I'M ASHAMED.
LET'S JUST GO HOME.
472
00:18:57,133 --> 00:19:00,365
NOW, NOW, LOIS. WE CAN'T
STOP NOW AFTER ALL
WE'VE PUT INTO THIS.
473
00:19:00,434 --> 00:19:03,598
YO, FRESH!
HOW DO I GET TO
RONNIE'S PARTY?
474
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:06,364
PETER, WE'RE
NOT GOING TO A
HIGH SCHOOL PARTY!
475
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,265
LOIS.
ALEXIS.
476
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:09,299
LOSER SAYS
WHAT?
477
00:19:09,368 --> 00:19:10,266
WHAT?
478
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:11,932
[Sighs]
OH!
479
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,032
I'LL DRIVE.
480
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:16,632
CONSUME!
481
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:20,198
I LOVE YOU
SO MUCH.
482
00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:21,632
THIS SUCKS!
483
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:23,165
WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
484
00:19:23,234 --> 00:19:25,132
WE HAD WAY BETTER
DRINKING GAMES.
485
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,098
OW!
486
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,498
HA! HA!
YOU DRINK!
487
00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:31,365
[Siren wailing]
488
00:19:31,434 --> 00:19:32,499
IT'S THE COPS!
489
00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:33,832
RUN!
490
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:38,331
HOLD IT,
YOU TWO.
491
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,598
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE
OLD TO BE DRINKING
ILLEGALLY?
492
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,299
UH, UH...
493
00:19:42,368 --> 00:19:44,465
LOIS, LOOK
OVER THERE! RUN!
494
00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:53,731
I WANT TO MAKE YOU
FEEL BEAUTIFUL, LOIS.
495
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,331
UGH, PETER, STOP.
496
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,931
TRY TO STAY FOCUSED.
497
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,765
[Audience applauding]
498
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,898
OK. YOU'RE ON.
499
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,965
WAIT, HERE'S A
LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR GOOD LUCK.
500
00:20:06,034 --> 00:20:08,032
[Gagging]
501
00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:10,198
MAKE SURE YOUR
TRILLS ARE CLEAN
AND WATCH THE LEGATO
502
00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:11,731
IN THE 4TH
MEASURE. GO!
503
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,932
[Laughing]
504
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:20,531
[Belching]
505
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:27,431
♪[Playing off-key]
506
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,032
♪[Playing Mary Tyler Moore
theme song]
507
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,931
[Audience]
BRAVO!
508
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,998
WE DID IT,
BRIAN.
509
00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:13,132
CONGRATULATIONS,
LOIS.
510
00:21:13,201 --> 00:21:14,565
FOR WHAT?
511
00:21:14,633 --> 00:21:17,132
WINNING A TROPHY
AT THE EXPENSE OF
MY HUSBAND'S HEALTH?
512
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,732
GOD KNOWS HOW
MANY OF HIS BRAIN
CELLS I KILLED
513
00:21:19,801 --> 00:21:21,932
POURING ALL
THAT ALCOHOL
DOWN HIS THROAT.
514
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:23,364
LOIS, YOU
DON'T GET IT.
515
00:21:23,433 --> 00:21:25,464
THE LESSON HERE IS
THAT ABUSING ALCOHOL
516
00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:28,065
HAS ABSOLUTELY NO
NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.
517
00:21:28,134 --> 00:21:31,565
YOU HAVE YOUR TROPHY
AND MY BRAIN
CELLS ARE JUST FINE.
518
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,098
HELLO?
519
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,298
WH-WHERE
IS EVERYBODY?
520
00:21:36,367 --> 00:21:39,265
I'M--I'M THE ONLY
BRAIN CELL LEFT.
521
00:21:39,334 --> 00:21:41,299
WELL, AT LEAST
I HAVE MY BOOKS.
522
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:46,598
NO. NO, THAT--THAT--
THAT'S NOT FAIR!
523
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,431
THAT'S NOT FAIR!
524
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,232
THERE WAS TIME NOW!
525
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:51,398
[Sobbing]
526
00:21:51,466 --> 00:21:52,965
IT'S NOT FAIR!
527
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:59,899
♪[Theme from
The Incredible Hulk playing]