1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,832
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:08,232
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,699
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:14,832
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:14,901 --> 00:00:18,032
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,534 --> 00:00:23,099
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,168 --> 00:00:24,731
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
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♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
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[Sighs]
11
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:35,232
I'M--I'M IN
A RUT.
12
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:36,598
NOTHING THRILLS
ME ANYMORE.
13
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,532
I MEAN I--I
CAN'T EVEN THINK
OF A REASON
14
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,998
TO GET OFF THE BED
IN THE MORNING.
15
00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:40,999
REALLY?
16
00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:42,799
YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW
PATHETIC MY LIFE IS?
17
00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:44,432
I'VE SEEN THAT
BEHIND THE MUSIC
18
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,465
WITH LEIF GARRETT
18 TIMES.
19
00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:51,132
HEY, UH, HEY, LEIF.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
20
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,565
TOO LONG, MAN.
21
00:00:52,634 --> 00:00:54,866
[Leif]
I'M SO SORRY ABOUT
EVERYTHING, MAN. I'M SO--
22
00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:56,465
[Man]
YOU READY FOR
A BOMBSHELL?
23
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,999
YOU SAVED MY LIFE
THAT NIGHT.
24
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,999
BUT--BUT I WAS
DRIVING. I...
25
00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,132
I WAS ON A ROAD TO
DESTRUCTION, MAN.
26
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,565
THE ACCIDENT MAY
HAVE CRIPPLED ME,
27
00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:04,999
BUT I'M ALIVE,
AREN'T I?
28
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:07,032
C-CAN WE TURN OFF
THE CAMERAS, DUDE?
29
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,398
IT'S--IT'S
LIKE I'M,
30
00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:10,365
I DON'T KNOW,
TRAPPED IN
MY OWN LIFE.
31
00:01:10,434 --> 00:01:13,532
WELL, BRIAN, YOU MAY BE
TOO INWARDLY FOCUSED.
32
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,765
TRY THINKING ABOUT THE NEEDS
OF OTHERS FOR A CHANGE.
33
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:17,332
WHY DON'T YOU DO
SOME VOLUNTEER WORK?
34
00:01:17,401 --> 00:01:18,632
OH, THAT MAKES SENSE.
35
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:19,665
VOLUNTEER WORK.
36
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:20,932
THANKS, BRUCE.
37
00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:22,965
YOU STILL HAVE
13 MORE MINUTES.
38
00:01:23,034 --> 00:01:24,631
OH. DO I?
39
00:01:24,701 --> 00:01:26,665
HMM.
40
00:01:26,733 --> 00:01:29,132
I, UH, I NOTICE
YOU GOT A NEW
RECEPTIONIST.
41
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,298
HEH. NICE LITTLE
BODY ON HER, HUH?
42
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,599
THAT'S MY DAUGHTER.
43
00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:37,599
WELL, WE COULD
PROBABLY CALL THIS
AN EARLY DAY, HUH?
44
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,699
ATTENTION, EVERYONE.
45
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,665
DUE TO SEVERAL
COMPLAINTS AND 2 DEATHS
46
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,431
RELATED TO WORKER FATIGUE,
47
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,598
I HAVE DECIDED TO THROW A
COMPANY PICNIC THIS SATURDAY.
48
00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,899
HEY, DEREK, HOW ARE YOU
GETTING TO THE PICNIC?
49
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,565
I DON'T KNOW. I
DON'T HAVE A RIDE.
50
00:01:53,634 --> 00:01:55,832
HEY, JOHN, YOU
GOT A 2-SEATER,
DON'T YOU?
51
00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:58,766
HEY, DEREK,
M-MAYBE YOU GO
WITH JOHN, HUH? HUH?
52
00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:00,099
[Sighs]
FOR THE LAST TIME,
53
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,765
I'M NOT GAY!
54
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:02,999
THANKS ANYWAY, PETER.
55
00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,432
HEY, WE'LL GET HIM.
56
00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,099
HERE. RIGHT--
RIGHT THIS WAY.
57
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,565
WATCH YOUR STEP.
58
00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:11,698
OK, THEY'RE
IN THE WOODS.
59
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,798
THE CAMERA
KEEPS ON MOVING.
60
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,365
UH, I THINK THEY'RE
LOOKING FOR SOME
WITCH OR SOMETHING.
61
00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:18,866
I DON'T KNOW.
I WASN'T LISTENING.
62
00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:20,565
NOTHING'S
HAPPENING.
63
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,565
NOTHING'S
HAPPENING.
64
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:24,032
SOMETHING
ABOUT A MAP.
65
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:26,999
NOTHING'S
HAPPENING.
66
00:02:27,068 --> 00:02:28,333
IT'S OVER.
67
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,233
A LOT OF PEOPLE
IN THE AUDIENCE
LOOK PISSED.
68
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,398
NOW, REMEMBER,
CHRIS,
69
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:38,765
WE HAVE TO
WORK TOGETHER,
70
00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:40,098
SO THAT
OUR STEPS--
71
00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:41,365
[Screaming]
72
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:42,799
[Laughing]
73
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,832
OH, THIS IS MY
FAVORITE EVENT,
74
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,965
"CATCH THE GREASED
UP DEAF GUY."
75
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:50,499
GO!
76
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,732
YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA CATCH ME!
77
00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:54,331
YOU'RE
WASTING
YOUR TIME!
78
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,564
FORGET ABOUT IT!
79
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,966
GO DO SOMETHING ELSE!
80
00:02:58,034 --> 00:02:59,565
SEE YOU ALL
NEXT YEAR!
81
00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:03,765
KING ME.
82
00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:06,165
I DON'T WANT
TO PLAY ANYMORE.
83
00:03:06,234 --> 00:03:07,532
THE PAIN.
84
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:10,066
I CAN'T LIVE
LIKE THIS, BRIAN.
85
00:03:10,135 --> 00:03:12,532
I NEED YOU TO
PULL THE PLUG.
86
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,298
[Heart monitor beeping]
87
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,232
WH-- I--I CAN'T.
88
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,931
BE MY ANGEL
AND SET ME FREE.
89
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,132
PLEASE?
90
00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:31,233
OH, MY GOD!
YOU WERE REALLY
GONNA DO IT!
91
00:03:31,301 --> 00:03:32,498
I-- BUT-- YOU...
92
00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:35,932
NURSE, THIS DOG
IS TRYING TO
KILL ME! NURSE!
93
00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:37,799
YOU ARE TWISTED, LADY!
Y-YOU HEAR ME?
94
00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:39,599
YOU ARE SCREWED
UP IN THE HEAD!
95
00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:44,365
THE WINNER OF
OUR FINAL CONTEST
96
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,299
WILL RECEIVE A
VERY SPECIAL PRIZE.
97
00:03:46,368 --> 00:03:48,266
A WEEK'S
PAID VACATION!
98
00:03:48,335 --> 00:03:49,632
[All cheering]
99
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:50,866
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
100
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,366
OH, GOD, PLEASE,
LET IT BE FARTING.
101
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:53,966
PLEASE LET IT
BE A FART CONTEST.
102
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,832
THESE ARE
TRANQUILIZER DARTS.
103
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,099
I HAVE ENOUGH HERE TO
TAKE DOWN ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
104
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:02,032
[Laughing]
ROBERT DOWNEY.
105
00:04:02,101 --> 00:04:05,065
YES, WELL,
THE LAST ONE LEFT
STANDING WINS.
106
00:04:05,134 --> 00:04:06,932
LET THE GAME BEGIN!
107
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,532
[All yelling]
108
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,732
[Both]
ALL RIGHT, DAD!
109
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:16,732
GO, PETER!
110
00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:20,698
LOOK AT HIM!
HE RUNS LIKE
A WELSHMAN.
111
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:21,898
DOESN'T HE?
112
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,632
DOESN'T HE RUN
LIKE A WELSHMAN?
113
00:04:25,068 --> 00:04:26,099
HEY THERE,
BRIAN.
114
00:04:26,168 --> 00:04:26,832
HI, JOE.
115
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,065
[Sniffs]
116
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:29,631
HEY, BONNIE MAKING
CHICKEN MARSALA
TONIGHT?
117
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,364
NO. SHE MADE
THAT 3 NIGHTS AGO.
118
00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:34,065
WOW, THAT'S
SOME NOSE YOU GOT!
119
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,865
YEAH. ONE TIME
IT ALMOST GOT ME
A SPOKESMAN DEAL.
120
00:04:36,933 --> 00:04:37,999
"FOLLOW YOUR NOSE."
121
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:39,431
"FOLLOW YOUR NOSE."
122
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,699
"FOLLOW YOUR NOSE."
123
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,331
[Chuckles]
124
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,899
OH, I--I'M SORRY.
NO, TH-THAT WAS GOOD.
125
00:04:44,968 --> 00:04:46,598
I JUST, I--I DIDN'T
THINK YOU WERE GONNA
126
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,565
GO SO CARTOONY
WITH IT.
127
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,098
WELL, HOW--HOW
WOULD YOU READ IT?
128
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:52,098
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS THINKING
OF DOING IT,
129
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,198
YOU KNOW,
GOOD, LIKE--LIKE
AN ACTOR.
130
00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:56,698
BUT, YOU KNOW,
Y-YOUR WAY'S
GOOD, TOO.
131
00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:59,865
YOU KNOW, WE COULD
USE A NOSE LIKE THAT
DOWN AT THE PRECINCT.
132
00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:01,198
REALLY?
133
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,765
[Panting]
134
00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:05,798
I GUESS IT'S JUST
DOWN TO YOU
AND ME, PETER.
135
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:08,465
ONE OF US IS GONNA
WIN THAT PAID VACATION.
136
00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:10,932
I DON'T WANT TO
FEED GRANDMA BACON
137
00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,732
WHILE SHE'S
IN THE BATHTUB.
138
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,198
PETER, ARE
YOU OK?
139
00:05:22,201 --> 00:05:24,832
MR. WEED, I THINK
PETER NEEDS
A DOC-- OOH.
140
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,565
WE HAVE
A WINNER!
141
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:31,265
HERE, KITTY, KITTY,
KITTY, KITTY.
142
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,531
NO DRUGS.
143
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,299
SHE'S GOOD.
HE'S CLEAN.
144
00:05:38,368 --> 00:05:40,832
IT LOOKS LIKE
THAT'S IT, EXCEPT FOR
THE FLIGHT CREW.
145
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:41,899
HEY, HEY, BRIAN.
146
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,432
WHAT'S WITH THE
JOHNNY LAW ROUTINE?
147
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:45,165
SAY HELLO TO
OUR NEWEST NARC.
148
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:46,165
HE'S A NATURAL.
149
00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:47,199
OH, YEAH?
150
00:05:47,268 --> 00:05:48,265
HOW GOOD ARE YOU?
151
00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:49,532
[Sniffing]
152
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,831
YOU'RE BACK
FROM MANILA.
153
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,165
YOU HAD LUMPIA
FOR DINNER.
154
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:54,898
THEN YOU MADE LOVE
TO 2 FILIPINO WOMEN
155
00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:56,099
AND A MAN.
156
00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:57,865
YOU MEAN 3
FILIPINO WOMEN!
157
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,332
NO!
158
00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:05,132
[Sniffs]
159
00:06:05,201 --> 00:06:06,765
WAIT A SECOND.
GOT SOMETHING.
160
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,832
THIS COULD BE
THE REAL DEAL, BOYS!
161
00:06:17,901 --> 00:06:18,932
LET'S DO IT!
162
00:06:30,466 --> 00:06:31,932
DON'T MOVE,
DIRT BAG!
163
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,332
AH, IT'S COKE! YES!
164
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,765
ALL RIGHT,
WE'VE GOT HIM!
165
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:39,598
THIS IS GREAT.
THIS IS THE RUSH
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
166
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:40,999
GOOD WORK, BRIAN.
167
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,865
UH, YOU STILL GOT
A LITTLE, UH...
168
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:45,365
OH. OH. THANKS.
169
00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:46,431
[Sniffing]
170
00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:48,199
[Gags]
171
00:06:52,101 --> 00:06:54,065
SO, PETER, WHERE
SHALL WE GO FOR
YOUR WEEK OFF?
172
00:06:54,134 --> 00:06:57,498
WELL, I WAS THINKING WE
COULD ALL GO TO PURGATORY,
LIKE WE DID LAST YEAR.
173
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:58,798
THIS ISN'T BAD.
174
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:00,032
IT'S NOT
THAT GOOD.
175
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,331
BUT IT'S NOT
THAT BAD.
176
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,431
IT'S SO-SO.
177
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,531
UH, MORE
OR LESS.
178
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:06,899
HEY, HEY, BRIAN.
179
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,099
IF COPS ARE PIGS,
180
00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:10,032
DOES THAT MAKE
YOU A SNAUSAGE?
181
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:11,531
[Laughing]
182
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,665
CLEVER, PETER.
DID YOU STAY UP ALL
NIGHT WRITING THAT?
183
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,532
I GOT TO BED
AROUND 2:00, 2:30.
184
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,699
DO YOU KNOW WHAT JOE SAID
THE STREET VALUE OF THAT
COCAINE WOULD'VE BEEN?
185
00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:21,431
LET'S SEE.
4 AND A HALF KILOS
UNCUT NICARAGUAN.
186
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,966
UH, $1.7 MILL,
THAT AREA?
187
00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:25,866
UH, YEAH.
188
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:27,831
THAT'S--THAT'S--
THAT'S RIGHT.
189
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,531
YOU GUYS!
BRIAN'S FAMOUS!
190
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,599
[Lois]
YOU'RE A HERO!
191
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,665
[Peter]
WAY TO GO, PAL!
192
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:33,265
OH, COME ON.
STOP IT YOU GUYS.
193
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,431
IT'S NOTHING,
REALLY.
194
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,265
[Sniffing]
195
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:36,999
OH, LOIS. YOUR
TOAST IS READY.
196
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,432
WOW.
197
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,398
OH, MY.
198
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:40,665
MEG'S USING A
NEW CONDITIONER.
199
00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:41,899
HE'S RIGHT!
200
00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:43,166
[Peter]
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
201
00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:44,266
THAT'S AMAZING.
202
00:07:44,335 --> 00:07:45,732
AND IT'S TIME
TO CHANGE STEWIE.
203
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:48,265
THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS.
I HAVEN'T-- OH, THERE IT IS.
204
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,698
ALL RIGHT.
205
00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:53,999
STOP THE CAR!
206
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:54,999
[Tires screech]
207
00:07:55,068 --> 00:07:56,099
OVER THERE.
208
00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,865
EVERYBODY FREEZE!
THIS IS A BUST!
209
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:01,398
[All gasping]
210
00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,899
BRIAN, THIS IS A
SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS.
211
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,898
THE HELL IT IS!
212
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,498
PURE BOGOTA BULLION.
THIS IS A DRUG RING.
213
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:09,798
BUT THESE ARE JUST KIDS.
214
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:11,332
OH, YEAH?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
215
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,699
[With low voice]
RICKY.
216
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,765
THEY'RE NOT KIDS.
THEY'RE MIDGETS!
217
00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:16,965
FILTHY,
DRUG-PEDDLING
MIDGETS!
218
00:08:17,034 --> 00:08:18,765
[Joe]
OH, MY GOD!
219
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,398
LOOK OUT,
BRIAN!
220
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,231
UGH.
221
00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:24,765
[Grunting]
222
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:28,266
OH.
223
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:28,999
UH.
224
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,398
OOH.
225
00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:33,732
AH.
226
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:44,932
NICE WORK,
ROOKIE.
227
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:46,198
YOU'RE A
CREDIT TO
THE FORCE.
228
00:08:46,266 --> 00:08:48,665
ADDITIONAL GENERIC
COP COMPLIMENT, BRIAN.
229
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,865
THANKS. BUT
THE REAL HERO
HERE IS GOD
230
00:08:50,934 --> 00:08:52,932
FOR BLESSING ME
WITH THIS NOSE
231
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,565
AND A FEW OTHER
EQUALLY AMAZING
APPENDAGES.
232
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:56,632
HUH?
233
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,032
[All]
OH!
234
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,665
[Laughing]
235
00:08:59,734 --> 00:09:01,966
WELL, I BETTER TAKE
THIS COCAINE DOWN
TO EVIDENCE.
236
00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:03,799
OH, HEY, I'LL--
I'LL DO THAT.
237
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,965
UH, I'LL CATCH UP
WITH YOU GUYS
AT THE PUB.
238
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,199
SO IT'S
SETTLED.
239
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,299
WE'RE TAKING
A CRUISE TO
THE BAHAMAS!
240
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:17,498
AH, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
CRUISES ARE THE BEST.
241
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:20,132
AND LOOK. IT SAYS
WE HAVE OUR CHOICE
OF CABINS,
242
00:09:20,201 --> 00:09:21,966
PORT OR STARBOARD.
243
00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:23,299
HO, LISTEN TO ME.
244
00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:24,898
I SOUND LIKE
AN OLD SALT.
245
00:09:24,968 --> 00:09:26,132
[Laughing]
246
00:09:26,201 --> 00:09:27,165
[Sighs]
247
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,199
[Laughing
sarcastically]
248
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:32,032
YES. THOUGH I MUST
SAY, I'VE ALWAYS
DREAMED OF A LIFE AT SEA.
249
00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:34,065
♪[Regal fanfare playing]
250
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,232
♪ I'M THE GREATEST CAPTAIN
OF THE QUEEN'S NAVY ♪
251
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,365
[Chorus]
♪ AND YOUR RECORD
WILL STAND AS PROOF ♪
252
00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:43,932
♪ BE IT GALLEY OR A FREIGHTER,
I'M AN EXPERT NAVIGATOR ♪
253
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,065
[Chorus]
♪ AND YOU'RE ALSO
A WORLD-CLASS POOF ♪
254
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,665
♪ MY MANNER, QUITE EFFETE,
IS MISTAKEN ON THE STREET ♪
255
00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:50,899
♪ FOR A SAILOR WHO
CAN PIROUETTE ON CUE ♪
256
00:09:50,968 --> 00:09:52,631
♪ WELL, DESPITE
YOUR POINT OF VIEW ♪
257
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,665
♪ I CAN THRILL A GIRL OR 2 ♪
258
00:09:55,734 --> 00:09:58,165
♪ BUT I'D RATHER
GET IT ON WITH YOU ♪
259
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,299
SORRY TO BE TARDY
TO THE PARTY.
260
00:10:06,368 --> 00:10:08,132
WOW, BRIAN.
HAVE YOU
LOST WEIGHT?
261
00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:09,799
YOU GOTTA TELL ME
YOUR SECRET.
262
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:10,832
HERE'S A HINT,
263
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:13,199
PUT DOWN THE FORK! FACE!
264
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,799
SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
265
00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:17,598
MY DAY?
UN-FREAKIN'-BELIEVABLE!
266
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,531
FIRST WE NAILED
THIS BASTARD WHO
HAD THE GALL
267
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,365
TO HIDE HIS STUFF
IN HIS DAUGHTER'S DOLL!
268
00:10:21,434 --> 00:10:23,898
HER DOLL,
FOR GOD'S SAKE!
269
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:26,132
OH, WHERE'S THE LINE ANYMORE?
WELL, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
270
00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:28,632
IT'S--IT'S NOT EVEN ON
THE RADAR SCREEN!
271
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,298
THE DAYS OF
DECENCY AND VIRTUE
ARE GONE, HONEY! BAM!
272
00:10:31,366 --> 00:10:33,899
FREAKIN' EVAPORATED,
LIKE A DINGY,
STINKIN' MUD PUDDLE.
273
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,398
ONE--ONE DAY YOU--YOU
SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN IT,
274
00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:39,399
AND THE NEXT DAY,
IT'S A--IT'S A DAMN OIL SPOT
275
00:10:39,468 --> 00:10:41,865
ON YOUR CRACKED DRIVEWAY,
STARING BACK AT YOU,
MOCKING YOU,
276
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,431
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
277
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,966
KNOWING THE PERVERTED
TRUTH THAT ROTS IN THE
PIT OF YOUR SOUL.
278
00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:48,032
THAT'S HOW MY
FREAKIN' DAY WAS.
279
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,232
YOU KNOW WHAT
I HAVEN'T HAD
IN A WHILE?
280
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,899
BIG LEAGUE CHEW.
281
00:10:53,967 --> 00:10:55,698
[Bell rings]
282
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:58,498
SO TAKE IT FROM
ME, MCGRIFFIN,
THE DRUG DOG.
283
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,165
IF YOU REALLY
WANT TO GET HIGH,
284
00:11:00,234 --> 00:11:02,866
IT'S AS EASY AS
BEING YOURSELF.
285
00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:05,899
WELL, KIDS,
I'M GONNA PASS
THINGS OFF NOW TO...
286
00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:08,832
GERALD, THE
HAPPY AND ABSTINENT
POLICE CLOWN.
287
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,898
HEY, KIDS!
288
00:11:10,968 --> 00:11:13,765
DO YOU KNOW
WHY I'M HAPPY?
289
00:11:13,834 --> 00:11:16,132
BECAUSE I'M
FREE OF "S"...
290
00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:17,932
"T"...
291
00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:19,599
"D"s!
292
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,032
THAT MCGRIFFIN
GUY WAS SO COOL!
293
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,965
TOTALLY! I'M
NEVER DOING
DRUGS NOW!
294
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:27,832
[Sniffs]
295
00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:28,932
AHH!
296
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:31,264
GOT MILK?
297
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:32,698
[Laughing]
298
00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:37,398
CHRIS, BEFORE YOU
GO ON A CRUISE,
299
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:38,932
YOU GOTTA BUILD
UP A BASE TAN.
300
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:41,333
BUT, DAD, I HEARD
THAT IF YOU USE
TANNING BEDS,
301
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,698
YOU CAN GET
SOMETHING CALLED
"MELANOMA."
302
00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:47,199
AW, THAT'S JUST FANCY
TALK FOR "SEXIFIED."
NOW CLIMB IN.
303
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:52,832
[Engine humming]
304
00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:56,166
HEY, WHAT KIND OF
TANNING BOOTH
IS THIS?
305
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:58,166
CAN'T YOU READ?
THOSE AREN'T
TANNING BOOTHS.
306
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,032
THAT WHOLE ROW
IS TIME MACHINES!
307
00:12:00,101 --> 00:12:01,798
AW, CRAP! WHERE
THE HELL IS HE?
308
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:04,032
[Chris]
HEY, DAD, I'M IN
THE BIBLE DAYS.
309
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:07,531
AND THERE'S A WHOLE STADIUM
OF PEOPLE CLAPPING FOR ME.
310
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,032
OH, LOOK.
MY VERY OWN LION!
311
00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:11,465
OH, MY GOD!
312
00:12:12,101 --> 00:12:13,498
[Roaring]
313
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,065
HUH.
314
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,632
MUST'VE GOT
THE WRONG HAT.
315
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:19,766
AND NOW, HERE'S
SOMETHING WE HOPE
YOU'LL REALLY LIKE.
316
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,965
WHOA, BRIAN,
THERE'S NO SMOKING
IN THE TERMINAL.
317
00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:31,399
HEY, HEY, THERE'S
WORSE THINGS THAN
NICOTINE, PAL!
318
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:32,599
AND I'M GONNA
FIND 'EM.
319
00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:33,865
PATIENCE,
LAD.
320
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:35,832
IT TOOK DEAR
ST. PATRICK
MORE THAN A DAY
321
00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:37,865
TO CLEAR THE
EMERALD ISLE
OF SNAKES.
322
00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:39,865
CAN THE IRISH
CRAP, WILL YOU,
HOROWICZ?
323
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:41,132
OK.
324
00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:42,631
OPEN IT!
325
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,531
AHH! LET ME
GO! HELP!
326
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,866
HELP!
327
00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:47,631
[Sniffing]
ALL RIGHT. WHERE'S
THE STASH?
328
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,999
I'LL DO A FREAKIN'
BODY-CAVITY SEARCH,
I SWEAR!
329
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:50,965
AHH!
330
00:12:51,034 --> 00:12:52,298
SIR,
WE APOLOGIZE.
331
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:53,498
[Screams]
332
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,165
GRIFFIN, THERE'S
NO EASY WAY
TO SAY THIS.
333
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,598
I THINK YOU HAVE
A DRUG PROBLEM.
334
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:57,798
A DRUG PROBLEM?
335
00:12:57,868 --> 00:12:59,565
WHAT'S THIS
REALLY ABOUT?
JEALOUSY?
336
00:12:59,634 --> 00:13:01,431
AM I STEALING
YOUR THUNDER, JOE,
IS THAT IT?
337
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,199
GIVE ME YOUR BADGE.
FINE!
338
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:04,432
BY THE WAY,
HOROWICZ,
339
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,264
YOU SHOULD
SHOW JOE YOUR
IMPRESSION OF HIM.
340
00:13:07,001 --> 00:13:08,532
OH, W-WELL, I, UH...
341
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:10,465
IT'S NOT AS GOOD
AS, YOU KNOW,
MY IRISH COP.
342
00:13:10,534 --> 00:13:11,798
IT'S JUST A
LITTLE THING I...
343
00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:13,432
"LOOK AT ME!
I'M JOE!
344
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,432
"MY LEGS DON'T WORK
BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT
345
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,532
"BY HAVING A VERY
STRONG UPPER BODY!"
346
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,565
[Laughing]
347
00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:19,899
WELL, I DO
SAY THAT.
348
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:25,098
OH, THE OLD MAN
AND THE SEA.
349
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:27,332
I SEE YOU'RE
GETTING IN THE MOOD
FOR OUR CRUISE.
350
00:13:27,401 --> 00:13:29,333
YEAH.
STUPID FISHERMAN.
351
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,133
SITTING OUT THERE IN A BOAT
YAMMERING TO HIMSELF.
352
00:13:32,201 --> 00:13:34,698
HE DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW I'M WATCHING HIM.
353
00:13:36,434 --> 00:13:39,032
AH, SPLENDID.
FIDO MCCOKE-FIEND IS HOME.
354
00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:40,598
EVERYBODY,
THIS IS TINA.
355
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:41,665
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU?
356
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,098
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
LESS QUESTIONS,
357
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:44,665
AND A LITTLE MORE
SHUT THE HELL UP?
358
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:47,032
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU
CAN'T FEEL YOUR TEETH,
359
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,732
DOESN'T MEAN THE GIRL
CAN'T FEEL YOUR INSULTS.
360
00:13:49,801 --> 00:13:52,098
HELLO, I'M
LOIS GRIFFIN.
361
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,765
WELCOME TO
OUR HOME.
362
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:54,766
SO, WHAT?
363
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,698
SHE'S LIKE YOUR MOM
OR SOMETHING?
364
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:57,799
[Laughing]
365
00:13:57,868 --> 00:13:59,464
[Laughing]
366
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,565
TINA, CAN I GET YOU
A WARM WASHCLOTH
367
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,866
TO WIPE THE DRIED BLOOD
FROM UNDER YOUR NOSE?
368
00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:06,466
HERE, BABY. I'LL SHOW
YOU THE CHANNEL LOIS
DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT.
369
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,032
BRIAN, WOULD YOU--
CHRIS, LOOK AWAY!
370
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,265
MEG, TAKE
STEWIE UPSTAIRS!
371
00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:11,065
WAIT! WAIT! THAT
MAN SEEMS TO
HAVE SUFFERED
372
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,765
A RATHER SERIOUS
SNAKEBITE!
373
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:14,399
BRIAN, WOULD YOU
PLEASE ASK
374
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,565
YOUR NEW FRIEND
TO LEAVE NOW?
375
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:18,599
OH, SORRY. THINGS
GETTING A LITTLE
TOO REAL
376
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:19,831
FOR THE STEPFORD
WIFE?
377
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,165
A-AND LOOK
AT YOU TWO.
378
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:22,732
QUASIMODO
AND LUMPY.
379
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,898
I--I LEAVE MORE
PERSONALITY
380
00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:27,065
IN TIGHTLY COILED
PILES ON THE LAWN.
381
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,164
OH, DO ME!
DO ME NEXT!
382
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,431
COME ON, BABY GIRL.
LET'S GO TO THE PARK.
383
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,832
HEY, DOC.
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
384
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:43,431
YOUR FAMILY HAS
SOMETHING THEY'D
LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.
385
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,665
"BRIAN,
I KNOW I DON'T
SPEAK UP MUCH
386
00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,565
"AND IT'S--IT'S
REALLY HARD FOR ME
387
00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:49,498
"TO TALK ABOUT
MY FEELINGS, BUT--"
388
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,432
W-WHY DON'T WE START
WITH SOMEONE MORE
INTERESTING? PETER?
389
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,932
[Clears throat]
390
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,332
"BRIAN, EVER
SINCE YOUR ADDICTION,
YOU'VE BEEN A JERK.
391
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,199
"I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS
WHEN YOU WERE MY SIDEKICK."
392
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,732
UH, SO SHE
HATED MY TIE
393
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,066
UNTIL I TOLD HER
IT WAS MADE
394
00:15:03,134 --> 00:15:05,632
OUT OF 100 PERCENT
BUTTAFUOCO FIBER.
395
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:07,532
[Audience laughs]
396
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,065
YEAH.
397
00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:10,332
UH, YEAH.
398
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:11,966
YEAH.
399
00:15:13,234 --> 00:15:15,565
HEY, BRIAN. HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE TIE MUSIC?
400
00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:18,598
♪ PETER'S TIE, PETER'S TIE ♪
401
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,932
♪ THAT'S BECAUSE
PETER'S THE GUY ♪
402
00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:24,599
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.
A LITTLE TIE MUSIC.
403
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,631
HE-HEE.
404
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,899
YEAH!
405
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:32,099
LOOK, YOU--YOU
GUYS GOT IT ALL WRONG.
406
00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:33,431
I--I--I...
407
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,999
[Sobbing]
I'M SO SORRY, EVERYONE!
408
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:40,032
OH, GOD.
I NEED HELP!
409
00:15:40,101 --> 00:15:43,066
WELL, I GUESS NOW WE KNOW
WHAT KIND OF DOG HE IS.
410
00:15:43,134 --> 00:15:44,532
A MELAN-COLLIE.
411
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:45,932
[Laughs]
412
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:48,165
NOTHING?
413
00:15:48,234 --> 00:15:50,364
W-W-WAIT. NO.
I--I SHOULD'VE SAID--
I SHOULD'VE SAID
414
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,798
"CHI-WAH-WAH."
415
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,199
[Laughs]
416
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,632
I DON'T HAVE
TO...IMPRESS YOU.
417
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,398
LOOK, I--I'M NOT
INSENSITIVE, LOIS.
418
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:02,665
BUT I JUST DON'T
SEE WHY WE GOTTA
CANCEL OUR CRUISE
419
00:16:02,734 --> 00:16:04,365
JUST BECAUSE THE
DOG'S A COKEHEAD.
420
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:07,265
WE'RE NOT GOING ON VACATION
WHILE BRIAN'S IN REHAB.
421
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,066
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR.
422
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,798
AW, MAN!
423
00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:13,232
LOOK, I'LL MAKE IT UP
TO YOU. I HAVE A COUSIN
WHO WORKS AT CLUB MED.
424
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,132
♪ ME MIND ON FIRE ♪
425
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,699
♪ ME SOUL ON FIRE,
FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT ♪
426
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,364
[Peter]
HOLY CRAP!
427
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:21,231
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
428
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,831
THIS IS WHERE
GOD WOULD COME
429
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,699
IF HE HAD TO
STOP DOING BLOW.
430
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:25,898
THEY HAVE
TENNIS COURTS!
431
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,065
AND A FULL SPA!
432
00:16:27,134 --> 00:16:30,132
WOW! NO WONDER
PEOPLE DO DRUGS!
433
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,331
GOOD LUCK,
BRIAN.
434
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,965
I JUST KNOW
YOU'RE GONNA
GET CLEAN.
435
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,065
HECK. SHOULDN'T
BE TOO HARD
TO GET CLEAN
436
00:16:35,134 --> 00:16:37,498
WITH ALL THESE
MINERAL BATHS
AND JACUZZIS.
437
00:16:37,567 --> 00:16:38,865
[All laughing]
438
00:16:38,934 --> 00:16:40,232
OH, I SEE.
439
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,632
THE FAT MAN MAKES
A PUN, AND EVERYONE
WETS THEMSELVES.
440
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,132
I GIVE YOU GOLD,
AND I GET SQUAT.
441
00:16:45,201 --> 00:16:46,465
I'LL BE IN THE CAR.
442
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:50,599
THAT WAS A VERY
PRODUCTIVE
FIRST DAY, BRIAN.
443
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,532
OUR GOAL HERE
IS TO FIND
YOUR X-FACTOR,
444
00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:56,832
THE ELEMENT IN YOUR LIFE
THAT MADE YOU TURN TO DRUGS
IN THE FIRST PLACE..
445
00:16:56,901 --> 00:16:58,665
WELL, JUST--
JUST HAVING
SOME TIME AWAY
446
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,499
TO SORT THINGS
OUT IS GONNA
DO WONDERS.
447
00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:01,932
THANKS, DOCTOR.
448
00:17:03,135 --> 00:17:05,232
WH--WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
449
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,365
I'M ON
VACATION!
450
00:17:06,434 --> 00:17:08,832
OH, AND IF
ANYONE ASKS,
I'M ALSO ON SMACK.
451
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,465
PETER, THIS--THIS
IS A DETOX CLINIC.
452
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,898
YOU CAN'T
VACATION HERE.
453
00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:19,565
WHY NOT?
THIS PLACE IS WAY
BETTER THAN A CRUISE.
454
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:20,732
Y-YOU SHOULD'VE
SEEN IT.
455
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,099
I WHIPPED A SPEED FREAK'S
ASS AT HORSESHOES TODAY.
456
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,665
PETER, THIS ISN'T
A VACATION FOR ME.
457
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:26,532
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
I'M TRYING
TO GET HEALTHY!
458
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,199
YEAH, OK. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
459
00:17:28,268 --> 00:17:30,032
HEY, HEY, SOFTBALL
THIS AFTERNOON.
460
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:31,799
A BUNCH OF US ADDICTS
ARE TAKING ON
461
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,765
THE PREGNANT
TEENAGERS FROM
ACROSS THE LAKE.
462
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:35,865
OK, COME ON,
EVERYONE.
463
00:17:35,934 --> 00:17:38,565
EXERCISE IS
AN IMPORTANT PART
OF RECOVERY.
464
00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:40,532
JUST WORK WITH
THE RESISTANCE
OF THE WATER.
465
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,765
10 MORE
REPS.
466
00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:44,966
OK, AND ONE,
AND 2, AND 3...
467
00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:46,631
[All screaming]
468
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,966
YEAH! I'M ALSO
ADDICTED TO BOOBIES!
469
00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:52,164
[Laughing]
470
00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,999
I'LL TRADE
YOU THIS FOR
YOUR CUPCAKE.
471
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:07,165
WHAT? IT WAS
JUST CARPET FRESH.
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
472
00:18:07,234 --> 00:18:08,865
I'VE BEEN
OBSERVING
YOUR BEHAVIOR,
473
00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:10,798
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE AN ADDICT.
474
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:12,198
I THINK YOU'RE
AN IDIOT.
475
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:14,532
WELL, I DON'T
PAY YOU TO THINK,
HOT LIPS.
476
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,865
IN FACT, I DON'T
PAY YOU AT ALL.
477
00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:17,932
COUNT IT!
478
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:19,832
I'LL BE KEEPING
MY EYE ON YOU.
479
00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:21,099
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
480
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,632
UH, M-MY NAME?
481
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,365
UH, UH...
482
00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:25,765
UH, UH...
483
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:26,898
"PEA"
484
00:18:26,967 --> 00:18:29,132
UH, UH, UH...
485
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:31,931
"TEAR"
486
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,165
UH, UH...
487
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:35,966
"GRIFFIN."
488
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,865
YEAH, YEAH.
PETER GRIFFIN.
489
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:38,966
OH, CRAP.
490
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,099
HEY, BRIAN,
I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOU.
491
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:45,099
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
MESS WITH THE PREGNANT
TEENS ACROSS THE LAKE?
492
00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:47,166
I--I CAN'T. GROUP
THERAPY, 2:00.
493
00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:48,966
OH, MAN, I PEEKED
IN ON ONE OF THOSE.
494
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:50,499
IT WAS MORE BORING
THAN WHEN I WAS
495
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,265
A SECURITY GUARD
FOR GEORGE HARRISON.
496
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,799
♪ CHARLES IN CHARGE ♪
497
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:59,198
♪ OF OUR DAYS
AND OUR NIGHTS ♪
498
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,065
♪ CHARLES IN CHARGE ♪
499
00:19:03,134 --> 00:19:07,098
♪ OF OUR WRONGS
AND OUR RIGHTS ♪
500
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:10,598
♪ AND I SAY, I WANT
CHARLES IN CHARGE ♪
501
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:13,598
HEY! HEY! HEY!
QUIET DOWN,
UP THERE!
502
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:14,798
[Glass breaking]
503
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:16,265
YOU WACKY BEATLE.
504
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:18,931
WELL, I--I HAVE BEEN
MAKING A LOT OF
PROGRESS LATELY.
505
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,498
I GUESS MISSING ONE
SESSION WOULDN'T BE
THE END OF THE WORLD.
506
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:22,865
THERE YOU GO!
507
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,298
[Peter]
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
THEY PUT IN THE BUG JUICE?
508
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:26,298
[Brian]
BUGS.
509
00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:27,499
NO, THEY DON'T!
510
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:28,832
COME ON!
511
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:30,732
SHUT UP!
512
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:48,799
[Woman screams]
513
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:50,632
[Popping sounds]
514
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,531
[Babies crying]
515
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,332
WELL, I HOPE
YOU'RE PROUD
OF YOURSELVES.
516
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,132
14 PREMATURE BIRTHS!
517
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,198
SORRY, DOC. I--
I DON'T USUALLY
LET PETER
518
00:19:58,267 --> 00:19:59,765
TALK ME INTO THIS
KIND OF STUFF.
519
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,732
WAIT A MINUTE.
BRIAN, YOU HAVE
A PRE-EXISTING
520
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,431
RELATIONSHIP WITH
THIS DEGENERATE?
521
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,932
A DEGENERATE,
AM I?
522
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,331
WELL, YOU ARE
A FASTIZIO.
523
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,432
SEE?
524
00:20:08,501 --> 00:20:10,432
I CAN MAKE UP WORDS,
TOO, SISTER.
525
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,399
WELL, I THINK
WE FOUND
YOUR X-FACTOR.
526
00:20:12,468 --> 00:20:13,632
WHAT? DO YOU
MEAN PETER?
527
00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:16,665
HIS BEHAVIOR IS CLEARLY
A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE ON YOU.
528
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:19,132
AND WITH YOUR
INTELLIGENCE AND
SENSITIVITY, OBVIOUSLY--
529
00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:22,133
WHOA, HEY!
I MADE MY OWN
MISTAKES, ALL RIGHT?
530
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,631
THIS MAN TOOK ME
INTO HIS HOME,
531
00:20:23,701 --> 00:20:25,298
A-AND HE TREATED
ME LIKE FAMILY.
532
00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:26,565
HE'S MY
BEST FRIEND.
533
00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:28,298
YES. AND LOOK
WHERE YOU'VE
ENDED UP.
534
00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:31,131
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK MY THERAPY
HERE IS COMPLETE.
535
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,999
I CAME HERE
TO GET CLEAN,
AND I DID.
536
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,365
SO GOOD-BYE.
537
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,698
BRIAN, IT'S MOMENTS
LIKE THIS THAT
MAKE ME SAD
538
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:40,098
YOU'RE GONNA DIE 50
YEARS BEFORE I DO.
539
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:45,998
♪ HE WAS ALL COKED UP ♪
540
00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:48,065
♪ AND WE WERE CHOKED UP ♪
541
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:50,631
♪ BUT NOW WE'RE HAPPY
BRIAN'S HOME,
CHA-CHA-CHA! ♪
542
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,965
I AM SERIOUS, LOIS.
543
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,632
YOU COULD BE
IN SHOW BUSINESS!
544
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,799
HEY, MEG.
18 YET?
545
00:20:56,867 --> 00:20:57,765
NO.
546
00:20:57,834 --> 00:20:58,832
HEY, CHRIS,
HOW ARE YOU?
547
00:20:58,901 --> 00:20:59,899
WELL,
I'M GLAD I--
548
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,498
ALL RIGHT!
549
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:03,199
BRIAN, I FEEL
A LITTLE GUILTY.
550
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:06,032
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
EXPOSED TO THAT JUNK.
551
00:21:06,101 --> 00:21:08,898
HEY, JOE, IF I'VE
LEARNED ANYTHING FROM
MY EXPERIENCE,
552
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:12,531
IT'S THAT WE'RE
ALL RESPONSIBLE
FOR OUR OWN DESTINY.
553
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:14,565
AND THAT'S WHY
I'M LEAVING.
554
00:21:14,633 --> 00:21:15,732
LEAVING?
555
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:16,898
YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
556
00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:18,998
I HAVE TO, PETER.
FOR ME.
557
00:21:19,634 --> 00:21:21,232
I LOVE YOU ALL.
558
00:21:21,301 --> 00:21:22,732
[All]
AW.
559
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,699
SOMEBODY
SAY SOMETHING.
560
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,331
BRIAN, WAIT!
561
00:21:29,934 --> 00:21:31,665
H-HOLD ON
A SECOND.
562
00:21:36,434 --> 00:21:38,032
AIRPORT, PLEASE.
563
00:21:45,201 --> 00:21:47,232
♪[Theme music playing]