1
00:00:01,567 --> 00:00:04,899
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:08,265
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,333 --> 00:00:11,965
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:14,965
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,567 --> 00:00:23,132
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,765
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:29,565
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
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♪[Disco music playing]
11
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HERE YOU GO,
BOYS.
12
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THANKS, HORACE.
SO I TOLD MY BOSS
13
00:00:36,533 --> 00:00:38,598
I'M NOT STAYING
IN THAT STUPID
TOY FACTORY.
14
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I'M GONNA
GO PLACES.
15
00:00:40,234 --> 00:00:42,032
OH, THAT'S
COOL.
16
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,999
♪[Easy listening music
playing]
17
00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:45,298
HERE YOU
GO, BOYS.
18
00:00:45,367 --> 00:00:47,299
THANKS, HORACE.
SO I TOLD MY BOSS
19
00:00:47,368 --> 00:00:49,531
I'M NOT STAYING
IN THAT STUPID
TOY FACTORY.
20
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,032
I'M GONNA
GO PLACES.
21
00:00:51,101 --> 00:00:52,798
OH, THAT'S
FLY.
22
00:00:55,234 --> 00:00:56,432
HERE YOU GO,
BOYS.
23
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,399
THANKS,
HORACE.
24
00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:58,599
SO I TOLD MY BOSS
25
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,732
I'M NOT STAYING IN
THAT STUPID TOY FACTORY.
26
00:01:00,801 --> 00:01:02,333
I'M GONNA GO PLACES.
27
00:01:02,401 --> 00:01:05,066
OH, YOU
ARE LIVING
LA VIDA LOCA.
28
00:01:05,134 --> 00:01:06,832
WELL, IT'S
LATE. I BETTER
HEAD HOME.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,066
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HOME"?
YOU GUYS LIVE HERE.
30
00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:10,366
[All laughing]
31
00:01:10,435 --> 00:01:12,531
YEAH. HERE'S TO THE
DRUNKEN CLAM, BOYS.
32
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,299
WHERE THEY DON'T
ASK FOR PROOF OF AGE,
33
00:01:14,368 --> 00:01:16,098
AND NEITHER DO I.
34
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QUAGMIRE, YOU
FORGOT TO SAY "OH."
35
00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:20,931
ARE YOU SURE?
36
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I THINK--THINK I DID.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, JUST
TO BE SAFE, OH!
37
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WE INTERRUPT
THIS PROGRAM
38
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TO BRING YOU A
SPECIAL BULLETIN
39
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ON THE APPROACH OF
HURRICANE NORMAN.
40
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HERE WITH AN
UPDATE IS GREG,
THE WEATHER MIME.
41
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[Tom]
OK, I-IT'S GONNA BE COLD,
42
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,798
VERY COLD,
43
00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:37,598
AND--AND THERE'S
GONNA BE WIND, AND
PEOPLE'S PARENTS
44
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,699
WILL THROW FECAL
MATTER DOWN ON THEM
45
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,331
FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
HOW AWFUL!
46
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:42,999
OH, NO.
47
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:45,565
I'M SORRY,
THAT'S--THAT'S
RAIN. YES.
48
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:47,565
IT'LL RAIN.
49
00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:51,632
REMEMBER,
THE NUMBER-ONE
CAUSE OF INJURY
50
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,665
DURING A
HURRICANE IS
BROKEN GLASS.
51
00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:55,532
SO STAY AWAY
FROM THE WINDOWS.
52
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,265
AND PETER,
PUT THOSE AWAY.
53
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,398
AW, COME ON, LOIS.
JUST ONE MORE SONG.
54
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,332
♪[Playing glasses]
55
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:07,899
MOM, I'M
AFRAID IF I
FALL ASLEEP
56
00:02:07,967 --> 00:02:09,965
THE HURRICANE'S GONNA
SNEAK UP ON ME
57
00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:11,532
AND GIVE ME
A VASECTOMY.
58
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:14,632
RELAX, CHRIS. NOTHING
BAD EVER HAPPENS
WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP.
59
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,999
IN FACT,
SOMETIMES GOOD
THINGS CAN HAPPEN.
60
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:18,232
OH, JENI.
61
00:02:19,101 --> 00:02:20,366
JENI.
62
00:02:20,434 --> 00:02:22,699
OH, YEAH, JENI,
DON'T STOP.
63
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,099
OH, RICHARD JENI,
64
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:27,366
YOUR H.B.O.
COMEDY SPECIALS
65
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:30,032
HAVE BROUGHT
PLEASURE TO MILLIONS.
66
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,865
AND WHAT
A SWEET ASS.
67
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,599
RIGHT THIS WAY,
EVERYONE.
68
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,431
BLESS YOU
FOR HELPING
US, FATHER.
69
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,298
IT'S GOD'S WISH,
MY DEAR.
70
00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:41,165
[Snickering]
71
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,632
ALL RIGHT!
72
00:02:42,701 --> 00:02:45,498
WELL, HURRICANE
NORMAN IS BEGINNING
TO POUND QUAHOG.
73
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:48,598
WE NOW GO LIVE
TO ASIAN REPORTER
TRISHA TAKANAWA
74
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:49,965
FOR A LOOK AT
HOW LOCALS
75
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:52,132
ARE DEALING WITH
THE IMMINENT
DISASTER. TRISHA?
76
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,865
DIANE,
I AM HERE IN--
77
00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:57,065
THANK YOU,
TRISHA. STAY
TUNED FOR FURTHER--
78
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AHH!
79
00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:07,531
OH, WHAT
A MESS!
80
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,865
LOOK AT THAT!
81
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:10,799
WOW!
82
00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,332
[Screaming]
83
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,132
FOR THE LOVE OF
GOD, DO SOMETHING!
84
00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:15,532
OH, MY GOD!
DADDY! DADDY!
85
00:03:15,601 --> 00:03:16,865
OH, GOD! OH, GOD!
86
00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:17,832
GOTCHA!
87
00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:19,565
[Laughing]
SEE, KIDS?
88
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:22,066
NATURAL DISASTERS HAVE
THEIR LIGHTER SIDES, TOO.
89
00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:23,564
YOU JUST HAVE
TO BE CREATIVE.
90
00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:26,632
YEAH, LIKE MY DEAD-RAT
MARIONETTE THEATER.
91
00:03:26,701 --> 00:03:28,232
"I'M SO STRESSED.
92
00:03:28,301 --> 00:03:30,865
"LIFE SURE IS A HUMAN RACE."
93
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,264
[Laughing]
94
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:37,232
RIGHT, THAT'S
BRILLIANT!
95
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:40,832
[Cleveland]
OH, MY, LOOK AT
ALL THE DAMAGE.
96
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,932
[Peter]
OH, THANK GOD THE OPEN AIR
DEBRIS GARDEN IS STILL INTACT.
97
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,298
PETER, LOOK!
THE CLAM!
98
00:03:47,367 --> 00:03:48,065
[Tires screeching]
99
00:03:48,134 --> 00:03:49,132
AHH!
100
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,298
THIS IS
HORRIBLE!
101
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:54,098
YOU THINK
THIS IS
HORRIBLE,
102
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,832
TRY LOSING A TESTICLE
IN A KNIFE FIGHT
WITH YOUR MOTHER!
103
00:03:56,901 --> 00:03:58,032
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR BAR?
104
00:03:58,101 --> 00:04:00,598
IT'S NOT MY BAR ANYMORE.
I SOLD THE PLACE.
105
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,798
LET SOMEONE ELSE
WORRY ABOUT HURRICANES.
106
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:03,932
WHO'D BUY A
WRECKED BAR?
107
00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:05,798
THE BAR'S
NOT WRECKED.
108
00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:09,965
[Together]
ALL RIGHT!
109
00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:11,865
OH, THANK YOU, GOD.
110
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,066
DON'T MENTION IT.
111
00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:14,531
[Horse whinnies]
112
00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:20,265
WAIT A MINUTE.
SOMETHING'S
DIFFERENT.
113
00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:22,198
♪[Orchestral music playing]
114
00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:23,865
HMM.
115
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:29,232
EVENING, GENTS.
HOW ABOUT A NICE,
WARM LAGER?
116
00:04:29,301 --> 00:04:31,032
AND HELP
YOURSELF TO A
PACKET OF CRISPS.
117
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,865
OR A RUDDY NICE
PLUM PUDDING.
118
00:04:32,934 --> 00:04:35,332
HOLY CRAP.
IT'S A GAY BAR!
119
00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:39,732
♪[Rule Britannia playing]
120
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,465
THEY TURNED
THE DRUNKEN CLAM
INTO A BRITISH PUB?
121
00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:45,299
OH, WELL, AT LEAST
THEY STILL GOT
SPORTS ON T.V.
122
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,398
THE NEW BOWLER
FOR SOMMERSET
IS OUR SPINNER HEATH
123
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:49,365
WHO HAS A COVER POINT
LONG ON SQUARE LEG
124
00:04:49,434 --> 00:04:51,699
DEEP EXTRA COVER
ON 2 SHORT LEGS.
125
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:53,499
WHAT THE HELL IS
HE TALKING ABOUT?
126
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:54,799
OH, IT'S CRICKET.
127
00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,265
MARVELOUS GAME,
REALLY.
128
00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:58,699
YOU SEE,
THE BOWLER HURLS
THE BALL TOWARDS
129
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,065
THE BATTER WHO
TRIES TO PLAY
AWAY A FINE LEG.
130
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,832
HE ENDEAVORS TO
SCORE BY DASHING
BETWEEN THE CREASES,
131
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:05,366
PROVIDED THE
WICKET KEEPER
132
00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:07,665
HASN'T WHIPPED HIS
BAILS OFF, OF COURSE.
133
00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:08,698
ANYBODY
GET THAT?
134
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,798
THE ONLY BRITISH
IDIOM I KNOW
135
00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:13,299
IS THAT "FAG"
MEANS "CIGARETTE."
136
00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:15,498
WELL, SOMEONE TELL
THIS CIGARETTE TO
SHUT UP.
137
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:18,366
HEY, GUYS! TH-THERE'S
NO MORE GIRLIE
MAGAZINES IN THE CAN!
138
00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:21,065
ALL THEY GOT
IS THIS--THIS
DAVID COPPERFIELD!
139
00:05:21,133 --> 00:05:23,898
W-W-WAIT, ANY
PICTURES OF HIS
GIRLFRIEND?
140
00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:25,333
NO! NO PICTURES
AT ALL!
141
00:05:25,401 --> 00:05:26,332
[All gasp]
142
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:28,165
I THINK
WE SHOULD GO.
143
00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:30,765
YES. THIS IS
A DARK AND
EVIL PLACE.
144
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,965
I SAY, CARUTHERS.
HMM?
145
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:37,298
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S VERY,
VERY FUNNY?
146
00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:39,598
A MAN DRESSED IN
WOMEN'S CLOTHING.
147
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:41,232
HMM, YES, QUITE.
RIPPING GOOD LAUGH.
148
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,233
YES.
HMM.
149
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,498
LOIS, THE DRUNKEN
CLAM'S BEEN TAKEN OVER
150
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,565
BY A BUNCH OF LOUSY, LIMEY,
TEA-SUCKING BRITISH BASTARDS!
151
00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:50,665
PETER!
152
00:05:50,734 --> 00:05:52,799
HELLO, NIGEL PINCHLEY HERE.
153
00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:54,899
I WAS JUST INTRODUCING
MYSELF TO YOUR WIFE,
154
00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:58,698
WHO I MUST SAY IS AN
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS
BIT OF CRUMPET.
155
00:05:58,767 --> 00:05:59,799
[Laughing]
156
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:01,531
HOLY CRAP!
YOU'RE ONE
OF THEM!
157
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,199
PETER! NIGEL AND
HIS DAUGHTER ARE
OUR NEW NEIGHBORS.
158
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:07,699
YES, AND I'M AFRAID
I'M THE "LIMEY BASTARD"
159
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,498
WHO HAS PURCHASED
YOUR BAR.
160
00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,264
BIT OF AN
AWKWARD MOMENT,
REALLY.
161
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:13,965
AWKWARD MOMENT?
I'LL GIVE YOU AN
AWKWARD MOMENT.
162
00:06:14,034 --> 00:06:16,732
ONE TIME DURING SEX,
I CALLED LOIS "FRANK."
163
00:06:16,801 --> 00:06:18,132
YOUR MOVE,
SHERLOCK.
164
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:20,365
PETER!
EXCUSE US.
165
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,331
WHY ARE YOU
ACTING LIKE THIS?
166
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,298
NIGEL'S CHARMING.
ALL BRITISH MEN ARE.
167
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:29,099
YEAH, RIGHT. THAT'S
WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT
BENJAMIN DISRAELI.
168
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,332
YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO I AM.
169
00:06:33,701 --> 00:06:35,866
THE BRITISH ARE
A LOVELY PEOPLE.
170
00:06:35,934 --> 00:06:38,665
NOT PHYSICALLY,
OF COURSE,
BUT INSIDE.
171
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:41,299
AND NIGEL HAS
A VERY SWEET
LITTLE DAUGHTER.
172
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:45,265
AW, LOOK AT
THE LITTLE BABY!
173
00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:47,632
AHH! WHAT THE DEVIL IS
THAT GHASTLY NOISE?
174
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:48,765
IT'S ME!
175
00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:50,465
ELIZA PINCHLEY.
176
00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:52,798
YOU WANT A FLOWER,
LITTLE BABY?
177
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:54,665
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT I THINK
YOU MEAN TO SAY IS,
178
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,398
"WOULD I LIKE
A FLOWER?"
179
00:06:56,466 --> 00:06:59,599
HEAVENS! YOU DON'T SO MUCH
SPEAK THE LANGUAGE AS
CHEW ON IT AND SPIT IT OUT!
180
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:02,765
GO ON. WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE WAY I TALK?
181
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:03,865
[Shuddering]
182
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:05,632
EVERYTHING. LOOK,
HERE'S A SHINY SIXPENCE
183
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,098
IF YOU KEEP
YOUR MOUTH SHUT
AND GO AWAY.
184
00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,665
EH!
185
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:14,899
HONEY, I KNOW
THE DRUNKEN CLAM
WAS YOUR BAR.
186
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,432
BUT MAYBE YOU AND YOUR
FRIENDS CAN FIND SOMEWHERE
ELSE TO ACT LIKE IDIOTS.
187
00:07:18,501 --> 00:07:19,799
YEAH, I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT.
188
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,532
YOU KNOW WHY I
MARRIED YOU, LOIS?
189
00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:23,765
IT'S NOT JUST THE
RACK OR THE CABOOSE.
190
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,932
IT'S THAT BIG,
SEXY BRAIN OF YOURS.
191
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,132
[Laughing]
OH! OH!
192
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:33,498
ALL RIGHT,
THIS PLACE
ISN'T BAD.
193
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,998
OH YEAH. GOOD
MUSIC, REAL SPORTS
ON THE TUBE.
194
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:40,965
I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY CHICKS
IN ONE PLACE.
195
00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:42,532
HEY, HEY.
CHECK OUT
THOSE 2 HOTTIES.
196
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,065
[Snickering]
197
00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:45,998
THEY'RE SO LONELY,
THEY'RE PRACTICING
KISSING EACH OTHER.
198
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,565
I DON'T
THINK THEY'RE
PRACTICING.
199
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,932
[All]
OH.
200
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:50,998
[All]
OH!
201
00:07:51,634 --> 00:07:52,832
[All]
AH!
202
00:07:53,801 --> 00:07:54,999
[All]
OH.
203
00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:02,999
SO, YOU LADIES
EVER BEEN
PENETRATED?
204
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,298
YUP.
205
00:08:06,367 --> 00:08:07,365
YUP.
206
00:08:07,434 --> 00:08:08,432
YUP.
207
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,765
MMM-HMM.
208
00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:13,599
[People chattering]
209
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,333
HOPE THE LOO
IS WORKING.
210
00:08:15,401 --> 00:08:17,699
AH, THIS SUCKS.
NICE CHOICE FOR
A HANGOUT, PETER.
211
00:08:17,768 --> 00:08:19,532
THERE'S NOT
EVEN ANYWHERE
TO SIT DOWN!
212
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:20,632
IS THAT SOME
KINDA CRACK?
213
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:21,732
WHAT DO
YOU MEAN
CRACK?
214
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,032
ARE YOU
SAYING I GOT
A FAT ASS?
215
00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:24,299
FELLAS,
FELLAS,
216
00:08:24,368 --> 00:08:25,866
WHAT'S BECOME
OF US?
217
00:08:25,934 --> 00:08:28,932
WE NEVER
SQUABBLED BEFORE
WE LOST THE CLAM.
218
00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:31,199
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT!
IT'S THOSE LOUSY
FOG BREATHERS!
219
00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:32,698
DAMN BRITISH!
220
00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,631
FIRST THEY TOOK OUR BAR,
NOW THEY'RE TAKING
OUR FRIENDSHIP!
221
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:37,266
WHAT'S NEXT? APPLE
PIE, FAST CARS AND
ACTION FILMS?
222
00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:48,233
[Schwarzenegger]
IT WAS A GLORIOUS
SUMMER IN OXFORD
223
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,298
WHEN I MET
FREDDY CAVENDISH,
224
00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:52,232
A MOST REMARKABLE
YOUNG MAN,
225
00:08:52,301 --> 00:08:55,098
WHOSE FRIENDSHIP WOULD
CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER.
226
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:59,298
YOU ARE THE ANCHOR
THAT GIVES MY SPIRIT
LICENSE TO SOAR.
227
00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:02,398
OUR FOREFATHERS
WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN IT
ON THE CHIN LIKE THIS.
228
00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:03,699
YOU'RE DAMN
RIGHT.
229
00:09:03,767 --> 00:09:05,832
I SAY WE FIGHT
THE BRITISH AND
DRIVE THEM BACK
230
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,965
TO WHATEVER
COUNTRY THEY
CAME FROM!
231
00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:09,632
[All cheering]
232
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,432
WE GONNA
GET 'EM.
233
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,498
STEWIE, LOOK.
IT'S AN
INVITATION
234
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:16,532
TO LITTLE ELIZA'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.
235
00:09:16,601 --> 00:09:17,965
YOU MEAN
THAT HORRID GIRL
236
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:19,632
WHO TALKS LIKE
A SCULLERY MAID?
237
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,499
I DIDN'T REALIZE
SHE'D BEEN BORN.
238
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:24,298
I ASSUMED SHE'D
SIMPLY CONGEALED IN
A GUTTER SOMEWHERE.
239
00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:26,765
OOH, I'M GONNA
R.S.V.P. RIGHT NOW.
240
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,099
OH, SPLENDID.
241
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,632
AN ENTIRE
AFTERNOON OF HER
"ERS," AND "ARS,"
242
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,032
AND "'ALF A POUND
OF HA'PENNY RICE."
243
00:09:33,101 --> 00:09:35,565
GOD, WHY CAN'T THE
ENGLISH TEACH THEIR
CHILDREN HOW TO SPEAK?
244
00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:38,266
WHY DON'T YOU TEACH HER.
UNLESS YOU DON'T THINK
YOU'RE UP TO IT?
245
00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:40,699
OH, YES, THIS IS THE PART
WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY,
246
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:42,298
"OH, I AM SO UP TO IT."
247
00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:43,365
[Laughing]
248
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:45,431
WELL, I AM! I ACCEPT
YOUR CHALLENGE!
249
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,132
AT THE CELEBRATION
OF HER BIRTHDAY,
250
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,365
I SHALL PASS THAT
GUTTERSNIPE OFF
AS A LADY.
251
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:50,798
WHAT ARE THE STAKES
OF THIS WAGER?
252
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,498
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT
UP FOR ABOUT A WEEK.
253
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,866
VERY WELL.
AND IF I WIN?
254
00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:55,199
WELL, I--I
WASN'T BETTING.
255
00:09:55,268 --> 00:09:57,333
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SHUT UP FOR
ABOUT A WEEK?
256
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,399
YOU'RE ON!
257
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,098
♪[Drumming]
258
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,199
♪[Penny whistle playing]
259
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,331
MINUTEMEN,
260
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,665
PRESENT ARMS!
LOAD WEAPONS!
261
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:07,498
[All]
BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-LAKA!
BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-LAKA!
262
00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:08,698
BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-LAKA!
263
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:09,765
FIRE!
264
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:10,865
OH, I SAY!
265
00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,331
THROW THE
BLACKGUARDS OUT!
266
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,399
GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
ASK YOU TO LEAVE!
267
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,898
DON'T TREAD
ON ME!
268
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:17,898
YEAH, BACK
OFF!
269
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,465
WE KICKED YOUR ASS
IN WORLD WAR II,
270
00:10:19,534 --> 00:10:20,698
AND WE CAN
DO IT AGAIN!
271
00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:21,798
VERY WELL,
THEN.
272
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,465
IF YOU REFUSE
TO GO PEACEABLY,
273
00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:26,366
I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE TO USE
OUR SUPERIOR LINGUISTIC SKILLS
274
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,866
TO CONVINCE
YOU TO LEAVE.
275
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:29,199
OH, YEAH?
JUST TRY IT!
276
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:31,032
BYE, NOW.
THANKS.
277
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,198
SORRY TO
BOTHER YOU.
278
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:34,099
GOSH, I--I
NEVER SAW IT
THAT WAY BEFORE.
279
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,099
WAIT A MINUTE,
HOW THE HELL
DID THEY DO THAT?
280
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,132
WELL, WE'RE NOT
GONNA LET THIS
STOP US.
281
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,899
I'VE NEVER
BEEN DEFEATED,
EXCEPT ONCE.
282
00:10:40,967 --> 00:10:41,966
♪[Electronic sound effects]
283
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:58,598
ERIC?
284
00:10:58,667 --> 00:10:59,799
PETER?
285
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,899
OH, MY GOD,
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
286
00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:02,999
[Laughing]
YEAH!
287
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,531
GOD, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING THESE DAYS?
288
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,498
I'M THE RED GUY.
289
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:06,498
OH, MY GOD!
290
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:07,531
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
291
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,564
I'M THE GREEN GUY.
292
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:09,865
NO KIDDING?
YEAH, YEAH.
293
00:11:09,934 --> 00:11:12,665
JEEZ, GOD. HEY, IS
THAT STACY BEECHAM?
294
00:11:12,734 --> 00:11:13,832
WHERE?
295
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,698
♪[Mysterious instrumental
music playing]
296
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:18,998
[Peter]
NOW, DON'T WORRY.
297
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,265
THESE GUYS ARE
TRAINED TO STAY
PERFECTLY STILL.
298
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:22,365
CHECK IT OUT.
299
00:11:22,434 --> 00:11:24,132
HEY, MARGARET THA--
UGH!
300
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,299
WHAT THE HELL, I
THOUGHT YOU ENGLISH
GUYS NEVER MOVED.
301
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:27,765
NO. THAT'S JUST
OUR WOMEN.
302
00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:29,365
[All laughing]
303
00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:33,699
BLOODY HELL!
MY LUNCH WAS
IN THAT HAT!
304
00:11:33,768 --> 00:11:35,866
EGG AND CHIPS
WITH JAM BOOTIES!
305
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,765
WELCOME TO
THE QUAHOG
BEER PARTY!
306
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,599
I DO FEEL
A LITTLE GUILTY
ABOUT POLLUTING.
307
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:46,098
I FELT GUILTY ONCE,
BUT SHE WOKE UP
HALFWAY THROUGH.
308
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:47,899
PETER, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
309
00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:50,865
HEY, IT MAY TASTE
LIKE A WARM CUP OF
TOBACCO CHEWERS' SPIT,
310
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:52,465
BUT IT'S STILL
BEER, DAMN IT.
311
00:11:52,534 --> 00:11:55,399
HA! GOOD POINT.
BOTTOMS UP!
312
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,832
[Peter]
TAKE THAT,
YOU LOUSY BRITS!
313
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:06,966
PETER, WE WAITED
UP ALL NIGHT.
314
00:12:07,034 --> 00:12:08,265
WHERE WERE YOU?
315
00:12:08,334 --> 00:12:11,065
WH-WHERE WAS I?
WH-WHERE WERE YOU?
316
00:12:11,134 --> 00:12:13,465
OUT DRINKING. BUT
I WAS BACK BY 2:00.
317
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,532
OH, NO!
318
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,531
OUR TOP STORY.
THE CLAMS HEAD PUB
319
00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:18,032
HAS BURNED TO
THE GROUND.
320
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,165
OUR OWN
TRISHA TAKANAWA
IS ON THE SCENE.
321
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:23,498
IS QUAHOG
IN THE GRIP OF
A SERIAL ARSONIST?
322
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:27,133
POLICE SAY NO,
BUT OUR PRODUCER
SAYS YES.
323
00:12:27,201 --> 00:12:28,732
HERE'S AN
ARTIST'S
DEPICTION
324
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:31,298
OF WHAT
THE ARSONIST
MIGHT LOOK LIKE.
325
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,999
ANYONE WITH INFORMATION
REGARDING THIS SUSPECT
326
00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:36,832
SHOULD CONTACT QUAHOG
POLICE IMMEDIATELY.
327
00:12:36,901 --> 00:12:38,398
ONE THING
IS CERTAIN.
328
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,898
THE PAIN HERE
IS PALPABLE.
329
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,798
FOR MANY, THIS
CHARRED PORTRAIT
330
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:45,865
OF ELIZABETH II
GIVES POIGNANT
NEW MEANING
331
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,032
TO THE PHRASE,
332
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,065
"HEY, CHECK OUT
THAT FLAMING QUEEN."
333
00:12:50,134 --> 00:12:51,565
IN A LATE-BREAKING
DEVELOPMENT,
334
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:52,998
THE POLICE HAVE
A NEW SUSPECT.
335
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,732
WE NOW GO LIVE
TO HISPANIC
REPORTER, MARIA...
336
00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:57,598
JI--JIBE--JIMEN--
337
00:12:57,667 --> 00:12:59,299
JIMENEZ.
I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
338
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:00,799
WELL, TOM,
AT THIS MOMENT
339
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,465
WE'RE
APPROACHING
THE SUSPECT'S HOUSE.
340
00:13:02,534 --> 00:13:04,098
AW, THIS
IS BETTER
THAN COPS.
341
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,098
Y-YOU KNOW,
THERE'S A FAT
DRUNK GUY IN THERE.
342
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:07,066
UGH!
343
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,331
HOLD IT!
FREEZE!
344
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,532
AHH!
THERE HE IS.
345
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,199
HANDS UP, GRIFFIN.
YOU'RE COMING
WITH US.
346
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,665
H-H-HANG ON. I WANT
TO SEE WHAT THEY
DO WITH THIS JACKASS.
347
00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:14,699
HANDS UP!
348
00:13:14,768 --> 00:13:16,266
OH, MY GOD!
PETER, YOU DIDN'T!
349
00:13:16,335 --> 00:13:17,498
HEY, FATTY'S
WIFE IS A BABE!
350
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:18,498
THAT'S IT!
351
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:19,399
UGH!
352
00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:20,732
WELL, TOM,
353
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,732
IT APPEARS THE
REAL ARSONIST
IS IN CUSTODY
354
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:25,098
THANKS TO AN
ANONYMOUS TIP
TO THE AUTHORITIES.
355
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,065
GOOD.
356
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,532
GOOD.
357
00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:29,232
AW, AW, THE FAT
GUY'S STRUGGLING.
358
00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:30,932
HIT HIM, YOU STUPID
PIGS, HIT HIM!
359
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:32,065
USE THE BILLY-- UGH!
360
00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:38,865
THIS QUAHOG MINUTEMEN
FLAG WAS FOUND
361
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:40,665
AT THE WRECKAGE
OF THE CLAM'S HEAD.
362
00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:43,465
YOU ARE CLEARLY
GUILTY OF ARSON, SO
YOU ARE FREE TO GO...
363
00:13:43,534 --> 00:13:44,832
[Gasping]
364
00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:46,398
STRAIGHT TO JAIL! HA!
365
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:48,232
NOW YOU GOT BURNED!
HA! NO BAIL!
366
00:13:50,134 --> 00:13:51,932
PETER, TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T DO THIS.
367
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,732
LOIS,
I DIDN'T DO IT!
368
00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:55,499
YOU KNOW YOU CAN
TRUST ME, RIGHT?
369
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:57,565
COME ON, L-LET'S
SIT DOWN AND
TALK ABOUT THIS.
370
00:13:57,634 --> 00:13:58,932
I WANT TO
BELIEVE YOU, BUT--
371
00:13:59,001 --> 00:13:59,899
UGH!
372
00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:01,199
[Laughing]
GOTCHA!
373
00:14:01,268 --> 00:14:04,198
BUT--BUT SERIOUSLY,
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
374
00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:08,331
OH, LOIS, I'M SO SORRY
THIS TERRIBLE TRAGEDY
HAS BEFALLEN YOU.
375
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,665
OH, THANK YOU,
NIGEL. YOU'RE
VERY KIND.
376
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,765
CAN I TOUCH
YOUR BUM ONCE?
377
00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:13,032
HUH?
378
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,866
NOW I EXPECT TO
SEE YOU AT ELIZA'S
BIRTHDAY BASH,
379
00:14:14,934 --> 00:14:16,799
AND I WON'T TAKE
NO FOR AN ANSWER
380
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:19,532
UNLESS THE QUESTION IS,
"DO YOU NOT LIKE ME?"
381
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:20,632
[Laughing]
382
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,498
GET IT?
DOUBLE NEGATIVE,
YOU KNOW?
383
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,032
YES. YES.
VERY GOOD. YES.
384
00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:28,599
[Men chattering]
385
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,765
HEY, CHECK OUT
THE NEW MEAT!
386
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:33,133
I LIKE THE FAT
ONE. MORE CUSHION
FOR THE PUSHIN'.
387
00:14:33,201 --> 00:14:34,465
THANK YOU.
388
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,299
HEY, YOU AND ME
GONNA HAVE A
GOOD TIME TOGETHER!
389
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:37,766
GOSH, EVERYBODY'S
SO NICE HERE.
390
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:39,932
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I MEAN, THEY'RE GONNA
BE DISAPPOINTED
391
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:41,732
WHEN THEY FIND OUT
I'M NOT GAY, BUT, WOW!
392
00:14:43,101 --> 00:14:44,132
OH, MY GOD!
393
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,498
SEE THAT GUY?
394
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,965
THAT'S THE MOST
VICIOUS KILLER
I EVER PUT AWAY.
395
00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:49,598
HIS NAME'S
STEVE BELLOWS.
396
00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:51,965
HE'S SO MEAN,
HE ONCE SHOT A
MAN FOR SNORING.
397
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,499
WHERE HAVE I
HEARD THAT BEFORE?
398
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,799
IT'S ALL HERE IN
THIS SIMULATED
LEATHER-BOUND EDITION
399
00:14:55,868 --> 00:14:57,732
OF TIME-LIFE'S
KILLERS OF QUAHOG.
400
00:14:57,801 --> 00:14:59,066
WOW. THEY'RE
ALL HERE.
401
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:01,065
JOHN THE BITER,
THE BERSERK HOBO,
402
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,099
THE GOLDEN
AUTUMN DAY
STRANGLER.
403
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,531
M-MAYBE
STEVE WON'T
REMEMBER YOU.
404
00:15:07,534 --> 00:15:09,899
♪[Ominous instrumental
music playing]
405
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:14,466
WELL, WELL,
OFFICER SWANSON.
406
00:15:14,534 --> 00:15:17,532
YOU AND YOUR
FRIENDS ARE DEAD!
YOU'RE ALL DEAD!
407
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,298
OH, GOOD.
408
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:23,099
HE THINKS WE'RE ZOMBIES.
HE'LL LEAVE US ALONE.
409
00:15:23,168 --> 00:15:24,832
NO, NO, NO!
410
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:26,431
IF YOU'RE EVER
GOING TO BE A LADY,
411
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,365
YOU MUST LEARN TO
SPEAK LIKE ONE.
412
00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:29,598
NOW TRY IT AGAIN.
413
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,498
"THE LIFE OF THE WIFE
IS ENDED BY THE KNIFE."
414
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,898
"THE LOIF OF THE W--"
415
00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:38,365
NO, NO, NO. NOT
"LOIF," "LIFE!" "LIFE!"
416
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,332
THAT'S WHA' I
SAID! "LOIF!"
417
00:15:40,401 --> 00:15:42,398
NOW LISTEN TO ME,
YOU TIN-EARED
PIECE OF BAGGAGE.
418
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,499
WE'VE GOT
5 DAYS LEFT,
419
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,032
AND I'LL NOT
LOSE MY WAGER.
420
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,465
NOW REPEAT
AFTER ME.
421
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:47,798
"HELLO, MOTHER.
422
00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:50,665
"HAVE YOU HIDDEN
MY HATCHET?"
423
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,298
"'ALLO, MOTHER.
424
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:54,265
"'AVE YOU
'IDDEN
MY 'ATCHET?"
425
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:55,266
OH, GOD, NO!
426
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,065
IT'S AN "H" SOUND,
YOU MORON! "H"!
427
00:15:57,134 --> 00:15:59,199
"HA!" "HA!"
"HA!" "HA!"
428
00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:01,665
EW, YOUR BREATH
SMELLS LIKE
KITTY LITTER!
429
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:02,865
I WAS CURIOUS!
430
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,365
[Bonnie]
OUR HUSBANDS COULDN'T
HAVE DONE THIS.
431
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:08,132
YEAH. CLEVELAND
CAN'T EVEN LIGHT
432
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,465
THE DAMN HIBACHI
ON THE 4TH OF JULY!
433
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,799
EXCUSE ME, DO YOU
KNOW WHERE I CAN
FIND NIGEL PINCHLEY?
434
00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:15,598
I'M FROM QUAHOG INSURANCE,
AND I HAVE A CHECK FOR HIM.
435
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:16,999
$5 MILLION?
436
00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:19,266
YEAH. LUCKY
FELLA TOOK OUT
A HUGE POLICY
437
00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:20,632
THE DAY BEFORE
THE FIRE.
438
00:16:20,701 --> 00:16:23,199
DOESN'T THAT STRIKE YOU
AS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS?
439
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:24,631
NO, NOT REALLY.
440
00:16:24,701 --> 00:16:26,832
IN FACT, IT SEEMS TO
HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.
441
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:34,798
OH, NO!
HERE COMES
STEVE!
442
00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,199
I HAVEN'T
FORGOT ABOUT
YOU BOYS!
443
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:39,965
SATURDAY NIGHT
AT MIDNIGHT,
YOU'RE DEAD!
444
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:41,531
ALL OF YOU
ARE DEAD!
445
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,032
MIDNIGHT
ON SATURDAY?
446
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:45,265
THANK GOD! WE CAN STILL
BE IN THE TALENT SHOW!
447
00:16:45,334 --> 00:16:46,364
FROM THE TOP,
BOYS.
448
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,331
5, 6, 7, 8.
449
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,432
♪[Burlesque music playing]
450
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:54,599
[Sighs]
451
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,699
ONCE AGAIN,
HERE IS HOW
IT SHOULD SOUND.
452
00:16:56,768 --> 00:16:58,698
"HOW DO YOU DO?"
453
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,166
AND HERE IS
HOW YOU SOUND.
454
00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:01,331
[Cow mooing]
455
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,465
NOW TRY IT AGAIN.
456
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:04,632
"HOW DO YOU DO?"
457
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,032
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
458
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:11,565
"THE LIFE OF THE WIFE
IS ENDED BY THE KNIFE."
459
00:17:11,634 --> 00:17:12,798
I THINK
SHE'S GOT IT!
460
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:14,899
I THINK
SHE'S GOT IT!
461
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:19,765
♪ THE LIFE OF THE WIFE
IS ENDED BY THE KNIFE ♪
462
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:20,932
BY GEORGE,
SHE'S GOT IT!
463
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:22,932
BY GEORGE,
SHE'S GOT IT!
464
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,499
NOW, WHAT ENDS
HER WRETCHED LIFE?
465
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,799
♪ THE KNIFE! THE KNIFE! ♪
466
00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:32,699
AND WHERE'S
THAT BLOODY KNIFE?
467
00:17:32,768 --> 00:17:35,999
♪ IN THE WIFE!
IN THE WIFE! ♪
468
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:40,132
[Both]
♪ THE LIFE OF THE WIFE
IS ENDED BY THE KNIFE ♪
469
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,365
BRAVO, ELIZA!
470
00:17:42,434 --> 00:17:46,699
[Both]
♪ THE LIFE OF THE WIFE
IS ENDED BY THE KNIFE ♪
471
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:55,565
HELLO. SO NICE
TO SEE YOU.
472
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:56,899
[Lois]
THERE HE IS.
473
00:17:56,968 --> 00:17:58,731
ALL RIGHT, WE NEED
TO SEARCH THE HOUSE
FOR EVIDENCE.
474
00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:00,999
BUT ONE OF US
IS GONNA HAVE TO
DISTRACT NIGEL.
475
00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:04,931
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I COULDN'T.
476
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,465
BUT WHAT
ABOUT LORETTA?
477
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:09,166
NIGEL LOOKS
LIKE HE'S DOWN
WITH THE SWIRL.
478
00:18:09,235 --> 00:18:11,265
OH, THERE
YOU ARE, LOIS.
479
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,732
SHALL I GIVE YOU
THE GRAND TOUR
AND SHOW YOU MY,
480
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:14,832
AHEM,
481
00:18:14,901 --> 00:18:15,866
PRIVATE
QUARTERS?
482
00:18:15,934 --> 00:18:17,198
I'D LOVE TO.
483
00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,565
I MUST SAY, YOU
LOOK ABSOLUTELY...
484
00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:20,732
MMM.
485
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:24,799
OH, DON'T BE SHY,
MY LAMBIE-LAMB.
486
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:26,631
THIS IS MY
STUDY WHERE I,
487
00:18:26,701 --> 00:18:27,865
I,
488
00:18:27,934 --> 00:18:29,765
STUDY THINGS
THAT AROUSE
MY INTEREST.
489
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:34,032
[Lois]
OH, GOOD, THE GIRLS
ARE IN PLACE.
490
00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,598
OH, NIGEL,
SINCE PETER'S
BEEN GONE,
491
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,166
I'VE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR
SOMEONE NEW.
492
00:18:38,233 --> 00:18:43,732
YOU KNOW, SOMEONE
WITH A SENSE OF
DANGER AND ADVENTURE.
493
00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:46,331
I ONCE PLAYED A
GAME OF CRICKET
WITHOUT SHIN GUARDS.
494
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,565
OH, I LOVE A
RECKLESS MAN!
495
00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:51,732
ONE TIME, I WENT UP
TO THIS BLOKE'S FLAT,
496
00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:54,364
RANG THE BELL,
AND RAN LIKE
SEBASTIAN COE!
497
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:57,632
[Purring]
OH! MORE!
TELL ME MORE!
498
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:00,866
I BURNED DOWN MY PUB FOR
THE INSURANCE MONEY AND
FRAMED YOUR HUSBAND!
499
00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:04,632
HA! I KNEW IT! AND
WHAT'S MORE, I HAVE
WITNESSES! BONNIE!
500
00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:07,999
LORETTA?
501
00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:10,133
DEMOND WILSON FROM
SANFORD AND SON?
502
00:19:10,201 --> 00:19:11,632
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
503
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,331
I KNOW. I'M
SURPRISED I'M
ALIVE, TOO.
504
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,132
[Laughing]
SORRY, LOVE.
505
00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:16,798
BETTER LUCK
NEXT TIME.
506
00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:18,932
MR. PINCHLEY,
I HEARD
EVERYTHING!
507
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,199
AND WHAT YOU'VE DONE
IS A TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE
OF INSURANCE...
508
00:19:22,634 --> 00:19:23,698
"FRAUD"!
509
00:19:23,768 --> 00:19:25,132
OH, BLOODY HELL!
510
00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:27,598
WHAT THE DEVIL
WERE YOU DOING IN
THE CLOSET ANYWAY?
511
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,832
I CAME
WITH DEMOND.
512
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:30,798
LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN,
513
00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:32,232
MISS ELIZA PINCHLEY.
514
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,765
[All murmuring]
515
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:35,565
PSST! YOU,
DOGBERT!
516
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,165
DOWN HERE!
GET A FRONT-ROW
SEAT FOR THIS ONE.
517
00:19:40,334 --> 00:19:42,631
♪[Sweet instrumental
music playing]
518
00:19:47,268 --> 00:19:50,231
HOW KIND
OF YOU ALL
TO COME.
519
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:51,366
OH!
MAGNIFICENT!
520
00:19:51,435 --> 00:19:52,531
I SAY,
OLD SPORT,
521
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,665
WHY DON'T YOU PULL
YOUR FACE FROM
YOUR OWN LOINS
522
00:19:54,733 --> 00:19:56,865
AND BURY IT
INTO SOME
HUMBLE PIE?
523
00:19:58,533 --> 00:19:59,999
OH, BLOODY 'ELL!
524
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,632
I'VE GONE AND
WET MESELF!
525
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,932
DON'T GIVE ME
THAT SMUG LOOK!
FINE!
526
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,498
WELL, YOU HAVE
EXTRA-SENSITIVE
HEARING. HEAR THIS.
527
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:09,598
I'M TELLING.
528
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,265
I--
N-NO! I SAID
"VACUUM"!
529
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,865
HURRY, PETER,
STEVE'S GONNA
BE HERE IN 5 MINUTES!
530
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,199
AW, CRAP!
WE'RE DEAD!
531
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:24,866
I GUESS THIS
IS THE END, BOYS.
532
00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:28,165
LOOKS LIKE OUR NEXT
STOP IS A CORNER BOOTH
IN A BAR IN HEAVEN!
533
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:31,265
PETER,
NIGEL CONFESSED!
YOU'RE FREE!
534
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,066
YOU HEAR
THAT, GUYS?
WE'RE FREE!
535
00:20:33,135 --> 00:20:34,632
[All cheering]
536
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,233
[Cleveland]
FREEDOM!
537
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,133
GET READY
TO DIE!
538
00:20:40,201 --> 00:20:41,298
HUH?
539
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:42,365
HMM.
540
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:46,198
I WONDER WHAT
THIS FEELS LIKE.
541
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:48,631
OW!
THAT HURTS!
542
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,432
MY GOD, IS THAT
WHAT I'VE BEEN
DOING TO PEOPLE?
543
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:52,899
I BELONG HERE.
544
00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:54,932
♪[Upbeat instrumental
music playing]
545
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:56,532
[Crowd cheering]
546
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:59,631
AH, HORACE, I NEVER
THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU
AND THE CLAM AGAIN.
547
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,232
AH, FLORIDA
STUNK.
548
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,499
AN ALLIGATOR
MOUNTED ME WHEN
I WASN'T LOOKING,
549
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:05,698
AND LAID EGGS IN MY
LOWER INTESTINE.
550
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:07,432
AH, BUT YOU'RE
ALL THIRSTY.
551
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,165
I'LL BORE YOU
ANOTHER TIME.
552
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:10,798
HERE'S TO
OUR WIVES.
553
00:21:10,867 --> 00:21:13,898
THEY MAY NOT BE
AS HOT AS THE WOMEN
YOU SEE ON T.V.,
554
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,732
OR AS ENTERTAINING,
555
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,998
BUT, UM...
556
00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:22,199
YOU KNOW, I--I DON'T KNOW
WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS,
BUT THANKS ANYWAY.
557
00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:24,765
I GUESS THAT
LOUSY NIGEL
LEARNED HIS LESSON.
558
00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:27,432
WHATEVER HE
GETS IS TOO
GOOD FOR HIM.
559
00:21:27,501 --> 00:21:29,432
[Thunder rumbling]
560
00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:36,832
[Eliza]
DEAR STEWIE, I
WANT YOU TO KNOW
561
00:21:36,901 --> 00:21:38,399
THAT I BLAME MY
FATHER'S DEATH
562
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:40,598
AND MY INCARCERATION
IN THIS HELL HOLE
563
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,732
ENTIRELY ON YOUR
AWFUL MOTHER.
564
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,965
IF IT TAKES
THE REST OF MY LIFE,
I SHALL SEE THAT
565
00:21:45,034 --> 00:21:47,132
SHE SUFFERS A SLOW
AND PAINFUL DEATH.
566
00:21:47,201 --> 00:21:48,365
ELIZA.
567
00:21:48,434 --> 00:21:49,632
[Laughing]
568
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:51,932
EXCELLENT. HERE,
HAVE A LOOK.
569
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:53,032
GOOD.
570
00:21:53,101 --> 00:21:54,099
GOOD.
571
00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:58,699
♪[Theme music playing]