1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,899
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:08,298
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:11,999
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
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♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY ♪
5
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:23,132
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
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♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
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♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
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LOOK MEG. I'M THAT
PRETTY, DARK-HAIRED
11
00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,165
FIGURE SKATER
WITH THE HORSE TEETH.
12
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YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO
GOT WHAT SHE HAD COMIN'.
13
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NICE FIGURE
8, MOM.
14
00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:52,365
HA! ALL RIGHT.
15
00:00:52,434 --> 00:00:55,132
OK, BONNIE.
1, 2, 3, PUSH!
16
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YEEE!
17
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WHOA!
18
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OH-OH. AH!
19
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WHOA!
20
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AHHH!
21
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UGH!
22
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,032
[Snapping sound]
23
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,132
MY GOD!
24
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,432
I CAN WALK!
25
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,731
IT'S A MIRA--
26
00:01:08,634 --> 00:01:09,765
SORRY,
DAD.
27
00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:10,999
JUST GET THE CHAIR.
28
00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:14,799
HO! HO!
29
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,598
GOOD SHOT.
MADE MY BROWN EYE
BLUE WITH THAT ONE.
30
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:19,331
YEAH, NEXT ONE'S
COMING FOR YOUR HEAD!
31
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,032
OH, NO!
NO! HELP!
32
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,099
OH HELP!
33
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,065
WHAT THE HELL?
34
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:25,665
NOW IS THE WINTER
OF YOUR DISCONTENT!
35
00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:30,699
HEY, CHRIS! YOU
WANT TO RACE? ON YOUR
MARK, GET SET, GO!
36
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:33,665
FIRST ONE TO THE MARKER
WHERE THAT PAKISTANI GIRL
FELL THROUGH THE ICE
37
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AFTER COMING TO THE STATES
TO GET TREATMENT FOR HER
SEVERELY BURNED FACE,
38
00:01:36,867 --> 00:01:40,265
WHICH SHE GOT WHEN A MAN SHE
REFUSED TO MARRY DUMPED
SULFURIC ACID ON HER, WINS.
39
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I WIN!
40
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YES! YES! IN YOUR
FACE! IN YOUR FACE!
41
00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:46,465
IN MY FACE!
IN MY FACE!
42
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[Laughing]
43
00:01:48,301 --> 00:01:50,099
AH! NO!
ACID GIRL!
44
00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:52,032
IT'S ACID GIRL!
AH! AH!
45
00:01:54,567 --> 00:01:57,399
[Cheerleaders]
JAMES WOODS HIGH!
I AM HIGH ON
46
00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:59,065
JAMES WOODS HIGH!
47
00:01:59,134 --> 00:02:00,198
HEY, GUYS.
48
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,364
WHAT DO YOU
WANT, MEG?
49
00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:02,999
I'M HERE TO TRY
FOR CHEERLEADING.
50
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:06,799
PETER RABBIT WOULD
BE WISE TO STAY OUT OF
MR. MCGREGOR'S GARDEN.
51
00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:08,732
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
THE FLAG-GIRL SQUAD?
52
00:02:15,466 --> 00:02:17,298
ARE YOU TRYING
OUT FOR FLAG GIRL?
53
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,032
[Incomprehensible]
54
00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:27,198
YES! I WIN AGAIN, ANDY.
55
00:02:27,267 --> 00:02:29,165
COME ON, MATE.
ONE MORE BEFORE
THE MISSUS
56
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:31,065
NOTICES I'M
NOT SNOOZIN'
ON THE COUCH.
57
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[Woman]
TOO LATE!
58
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HEY, CAREFUL, QUAGMIRE.
DON'T--DON'T GET TOO
CLOSE TO THAT THING.
59
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,599
AH!
60
00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:42,065
UGH.
61
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,098
WHAT THE HELL?
DID I JUST GET LAID?
62
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:45,199
NICE GAME, PETER.
63
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:46,499
YEAH, I'M
ON A ROLL.
64
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,032
AND I WHIPPED
CHRIS ON THE
ICE TODAY, TOO.
65
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,798
ENJOY IT WHILE
IT LASTS.
66
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:52,631
IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIME BEFORE HE
BEATS YOU.
67
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:55,165
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN'
ABOUT? I'M BETTER THAN
HIM AT EVERYTHING.
68
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,899
YOU NAME IT. SPORTS,
VIDEO GAMES, EVEN
MAGIC TRICKS.
69
00:02:59,534 --> 00:03:01,365
HA! HA! GOT
YOUR NOSE.
70
00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:03,598
OH, YEAH? WELL,
I GOT YOUR FACE!
71
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:04,665
[Laughing]
72
00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:06,032
[Screaming]
73
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:10,998
CALM DOWN,
CHRIS. IT'S
ONLY A TRICK.
74
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:14,199
FACE IT, PETER. SOONER
OR LATER, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PASS THE TORCH.
75
00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:17,732
I REMEMBER THE FIRST
TIME KEVIN BEAT ME.
I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM.
76
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,465
I GAVE HIM A LITTLE
CONGRATULATORY
PUNCH ON THE ARM.
77
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,732
AND THEN ANOTHER.
78
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,598
AND THEN EVERYTHING
GOT A LITTLE HAZY.
79
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KEVIN WENT TO LIVE
WITH A FOSTER FAMILY
FOR A WHILE.
80
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:27,699
ANYWAY, IT'S
INEVITABLE.
81
00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:30,799
AH, DON'T FEEL BAD, JOE.
I--I THINK I KNOW WHY
YOUR SON BEAT YOU.
82
00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:34,665
APPARENTLY,
YOU'RE A 12-YEAR-OLD
PREPUBESCENT GIRL.
83
00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:36,298
WH-WHICH IS GOOD,
BECAUSE I FINALLY
84
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,298
HAVE SOMEONE TO GIVE
THIS TRAINING BRA TO.
85
00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,465
HERE YOU GO,
JOSEPHINA.
86
00:03:40,534 --> 00:03:43,398
DOES THAT FEEL GOOD
ON YOUR NEW BUDDING
BOSOMS? HA! HA!
87
00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:45,165
[In girlish voice]
IT SURE DOES, MISTER--
88
00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:46,265
GET THE HELL
OFF OF ME!
89
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,965
WELL, RUDOLPH, WE
FINALLY FIGURED OUT
90
00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:51,465
WHAT MAKES YOUR
NOSE RED.
91
00:03:51,534 --> 00:03:54,165
IS IT PIXIE DUST OR--
OR LEPRECHAUN TAILS?
92
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,465
NO, IT'S A TUMOR.
93
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:58,032
YOU MEAN LIKE
A MAGICAL
CHRISTMAS TUMOR?
94
00:03:58,101 --> 00:04:00,398
NO. A MALIGNANT
TUMOR, THE
BASE OF WHICH
95
00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:02,398
IS LODGED DEEP
WITHIN YOUR BRAIN.
96
00:04:02,466 --> 00:04:03,464
OH.
97
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:06,166
LIKE A HAPPY,
SPECIAL--
98
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:08,099
YOU'RE GOING
TO DIE.
99
00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:10,665
HEY, EVERYBODY.
GUESS WHAT
I AM?
100
00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:12,732
UH, THE END RESULT OF
A DRUNKEN BACKSEAT
101
00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:15,032
GROPE FEST AND A
BROKEN PROPHYLACTIC?
102
00:04:15,101 --> 00:04:16,832
I'M ON THE
FLAG-GIRL SQUAD!
103
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:19,232
OH HONEY,
CONGRATULATIONS.
104
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,998
HEY, CHRIS, I BET
YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
105
00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,632
HA! I BET I CAN!
106
00:04:23,701 --> 00:04:27,232
WE PERFORM AT ALL THE
FOOTBALL GAMES. I'M
PRACTICALLY A CHEERLEADER.
107
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:30,532
OH MEG, THAT'S
WONDERFUL. ISN'T THAT
WONDERFUL, PETER?
108
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,632
HEY, WAY TO
GO, STEWIE. ALL
RIGHT, CHRIS.
109
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,899
I'LL SEE YOU A FORK
AND RAISE YOU
A GRAVY LADLE.
110
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,432
[Laughing]
YOU'RE ON!
111
00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:38,299
SO, YOU'RE
A FLAG GIRL.
112
00:04:38,368 --> 00:04:39,399
THAT'S GREAT,
MEG.
113
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:41,898
YES, YES.
114
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,665
NOW YOU CAN BE
SOMEWHERE ELSE WHEN
THE BOYS DON'T CALL.
115
00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:46,132
[Both snickering]
116
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,332
ALL RIGHT.
SALTSHAKER
UP THE NOSE.
117
00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:51,464
I GOT PEPPER.
HA! HA!
118
00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:53,199
[Sneezing]
119
00:04:53,267 --> 00:04:54,731
[Laughing]
120
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,831
YES,
I WIN!
121
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,132
THAT WAS
FUN, DAD!
122
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,198
I'M THE MAN!
123
00:04:58,267 --> 00:04:59,298
YEAH!
YE--
124
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,365
AHH!
125
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,699
UM,
LOIS?
126
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:07,066
UM, G-GO GET THE MEDICAL
DICTIONARY AND--AND LOOK
UP "FORK" AND "LUNG."
127
00:05:07,134 --> 00:05:08,032
WHY?
128
00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:09,332
TIME'S A
FACTOR,
LOIS.
129
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,598
[Wheels squeaking]
130
00:05:14,934 --> 00:05:16,932
SAY MEG,
LOOKING SHARP.
131
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,032
YOU WANT TO GO
OUT AFTER THE
GAME TONIGHT?
132
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,665
NEIL, I'M A FLAG GIRL NOW.
I'M WAY TOO COOL TO
BE SEEN WITH YOU.
133
00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:26,899
REALLY? NOT EVEN
IF I SMOKE THIS
CORNCOB PIPE?
134
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,432
HEY, YOU GUYS. ARE WE
ALL READY TO CHEER AT
THE GAME TONIGHT?
135
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:42,799
WE? OH, YOU
MADE FLAG GIRL,
HUH? UH!
136
00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:44,699
YEAH. SO, THIS MORNING
MY MOM WAS ALL LIKE,
137
00:05:44,768 --> 00:05:46,199
"MEG, DON'T FORGET
YOUR LUNCH."
138
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:48,098
AND I'M ALL LIKE,
"MOM, I'M A FLAG
GIRL NOW.
139
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:49,466
"I'M NOT GONNA
FORGET MY LUNCH."
140
00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,399
AND SHE'S ALL, LIKE,
"MEG, DON'T FORGET
141
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:52,966
"YOUR HALF-TIME
ROUTINE AT THE GAME."
142
00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,366
UH!
MOMS!
143
00:05:54,435 --> 00:05:57,232
HEY, MAYBE WE
COULD ALL, LIKE, HANG
OUT AFTER THE GAME.
144
00:05:57,301 --> 00:05:58,598
GO, TEAM!
145
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:01,832
UNCOOL PEOPLE
ARE LIKE ANIMALS.
146
00:06:01,901 --> 00:06:04,798
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
FEED THE SCIENCE CLUB
AFTER SCHOOL?
147
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:07,932
[Cheering]
148
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:08,999
HUT!
149
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,166
UGH!
150
00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:11,498
[Whistle blowing]
151
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:12,698
[Crowd yelling]
152
00:06:14,401 --> 00:06:16,966
LOOK AT ME.
153
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:21,498
LOOK AT ME. I'M
SMOKING. DOG!
DOG, LOOK! LOOK!
154
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,632
YOU KNOW, ALCOHOL
DOESN'T REALLY
MAKE YOU WARMER.
155
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,765
IN FACT, IT
CONSTRICTS THE BLOOD
VESSELS, CAUSING--
156
00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:26,898
SHUT UP.
[Gasps]
157
00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:28,699
THE DOG
JUST TOLD ME
TO SHUT UP.
158
00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:31,232
I DEMAND TO KNOW
WHAT YOU PLAN TO
DO ABOUT THIS.
159
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:33,299
HEY! HEY! THE
DOG JUST TOLD ME--
160
00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:34,998
BE QUIET,
STEWIE.
161
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:39,065
FREEZING MY
NIPS OFF OUT HERE.
162
00:06:39,134 --> 00:06:40,565
OH, LOOK.
THERE'S MEG.
163
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,999
MEG!
164
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,398
[Screaming]
MEG!
165
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:46,264
MEG!
166
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:48,965
[All]
HI, MEG.
167
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,499
HERE
WE GO.
168
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,799
♪[Band playing
Electric Avenue]
169
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,299
AH, PETER, ISN'T
SHE BEAUTIFUL?
170
00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:09,631
YEAH, BUT I THINK SHE'S
WITH THAT GUY. THEY'VE BEEN
HOLDING HANDS ALL NIGHT.
171
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:10,765
I MEAN MEG.
172
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:13,333
OH! OH, YEAH.
YEAH, SHE'S HOT.
173
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,165
AW, THIS MEAT
STINKS SOMETHING
FIERCE!
174
00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:21,065
HA! THIS OUGHT
TO KNOCK HER DOWN
A COUPLE NOTCHES.
175
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:28,832
[Crowd gasping]
176
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:30,265
[Laughing]
177
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,198
YAY, MEG!
178
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:35,198
OH, MAN, I LOVE
HOW THESE KIDS
CELEBRATE THESE DAYS!
179
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:36,998
[Crowd]
OH!
180
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,199
WHAT DO YOU
GOT? WHAT DO
YOU GOT? HUH?
181
00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:42,898
HUH?
COME ON.
182
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,132
COME ON, REF.
THAT'S CHARGING.
183
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,898
YOUR FEET
WERE MOVING.
NO FOUL.
184
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:52,299
NO FOUL? AW, THAT'S A STUPID
CALL! AND I KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT STUPID CALLS.
185
00:07:52,368 --> 00:07:54,199
[Rings]
186
00:07:54,268 --> 00:07:55,332
UH, HELLO?
187
00:07:55,401 --> 00:07:56,932
[Peter]
UH, LOIS?
188
00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:58,832
I CAN'T TAKE OUT
THE GARBAGE BECAUSE
I'M AT THE OFFICE
189
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:00,532
AND THEY'RE MAKING
ME STAY LATE.
190
00:08:00,601 --> 00:08:03,366
PETER, THE CALLER I.D.
SAYS YOU'RE CALLING
FROM THE KITCHEN.
191
00:08:03,435 --> 00:08:05,732
IN FACT, I CAN
SEE YOU.
192
00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:06,799
CAN YOU SEE
ME NOW?
193
00:08:06,868 --> 00:08:07,799
NO.
194
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:09,365
OK, NOW I'M
AT THE OFFICE.
195
00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:11,231
SCORE'S TIED.
NEXT BASKET WINS.
196
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,165
CHRIS, YOU MIGHT
FINALLY BEAT
YOUR OLD MAN.
197
00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:16,131
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, "OLD MAN"? I'M
THE WHITE LARRY BIRD.
198
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,766
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
199
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,331
HUH? HUH?
COME ON!
200
00:08:19,401 --> 00:08:21,331
YOUR MOTHER
AND I ARE GETTING
A DIVORCE!
201
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,099
YOU ARE?
202
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:24,698
YES!
YES!
203
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:25,965
OH. OH, NO.
WE WORKED
IT OUT.
204
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,832
YES!
205
00:08:27,901 --> 00:08:31,232
WELL, SON, YOU PLAYED
GOOD. BUT YOUR DAD IS
STILL NUMBER ONE.
206
00:08:31,301 --> 00:08:35,098
YEAH, I DON'T
THINK I'LL EVER
BEAT YOU.
207
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:37,299
HEY, CHRIS?
WHAT'S WITH
YOUR LEG?
208
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,698
OH MY GOD!
THAT'S NOT
YOUR LEG!
209
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,832
[Peter moaning]
210
00:08:48,901 --> 00:08:50,165
WHAT'S WRONG,
HONEY?
211
00:08:50,234 --> 00:08:51,765
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S WRONG.
212
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,099
I'M TRYING TO MAKE LOVE
TO YOU, AND YOU'RE
THINKING ABOUT CHRIS.
213
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,132
PETER, IS THERE
SOMETHING YOU
NEED TO TELL ME?
214
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,798
THANKS TO YOU,
OUR SON HAS A
HUGE WANG.
215
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:00,065
THANKS TO ME?
216
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,632
WELL, HE DIDN'T
GET IT FROM ME!
217
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,066
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
218
00:09:03,134 --> 00:09:04,432
I'LL SHOW YOU.
219
00:09:07,234 --> 00:09:09,198
ALL RIGHT.
STAND BACK,
LOIS.
220
00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:10,365
OH, MY!
221
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:12,298
WELL, NO WONDER
HE'S ALWAYS
SLOUCHING.
222
00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:15,632
HOW THE HELL DID THIS
HAPPEN? I'M SUPPOSED TO
BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.
223
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,165
YOU MUST BE SO
ASHAMED OF ME.
224
00:09:17,234 --> 00:09:20,032
OH, PETER, I CARE AS
MUCH ABOUT THE
SIZE OF YOUR PENIS
225
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,465
AS YOU CARE
ABOUT THE SIZE
OF MY BREASTS.
226
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:23,899
OH, MY GOD!
227
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,364
MEG, HONEY, YOU CAN'T
LET THOSE AWFUL
KIDS GET TO YOU.
228
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:33,866
OH, THEY WON'T! BECAUSE
I'M NEVER GOING BACK
TO THAT SCHOOL AGAIN!
229
00:09:33,934 --> 00:09:37,364
UM, DAD, AFTER DINNER,
COULD YOU HELP ME
WITH MY ALGEBRA?
230
00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:39,298
HEY, YOU'RE A
BIG MAN. YOU
FIGURE IT OUT!
231
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,165
YOU KNOW, I BET
THERE'S A PART OF YOU
232
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,165
THAT REALLY WANTS TO
BE FRIENDS WITH THEM.
233
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,065
MAYBE.
234
00:09:44,134 --> 00:09:45,465
SO BE NICE
TO THEM.
235
00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:48,465
WIN YOUR ENEMIES
OVER WITH UNFLAPPABLE
KINDNESS.
236
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:51,166
CHRIS, DRINK YOUR
MILK. IT'LL MAKE YOU
BIG AND STRONG.
237
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:54,331
NO! NO MORE MILK FOR
HIM, LOIS! HE'S HAD
ENOUGH! GIVE ME THAT!
238
00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:57,965
OH, MEGAN, YOU
MUST TRY
THE BRISKET.
239
00:09:58,034 --> 00:10:01,132
ALLOW ME TO SERVE IT
IN THE MANNER TO
WHICH YOU'RE ACCUSTOMED.
240
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,532
OH! OH!
241
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:04,732
COME TALK TO ME
SOMETIME, SWEETHEART.
242
00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:07,165
I KNOW WHAT IT
TAKES TO BE COOL.
243
00:10:09,201 --> 00:10:10,898
"SHE PACKED MY BAGS
244
00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:14,132
"LAST NIGHT, PRE-FLIGHT
245
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,333
"ZERO HOUR
246
00:10:19,134 --> 00:10:20,498
"9:00 A.M.
247
00:10:22,201 --> 00:10:23,531
[Inhaling loudly]
248
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,665
"AND I'M GONNA BE HIGH
249
00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:30,099
♪[Electronic tones playing]
250
00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:34,899
"AS A KITE BY THEN
251
00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:41,232
♪[Tune to Rocket Man playing]
252
00:10:43,968 --> 00:10:47,232
"AND I THINK IT'S GONNA
BE A LONG, LONG TIME
253
00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:50,665
"TILL TOUCHDOWN BRINGS
ME ROUND AGAIN TO FIND
254
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,432
"I'M NOT THE MAN THEY
THINK I AM AT HOME
255
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,932
"OH, NO, NO, NO
256
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,132
"I'M A ROCKET MAN
257
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:00,965
"ROCKET MAN
258
00:11:01,034 --> 00:11:03,565
"BURNIN' OUT HIS
FUSE OUT HERE
259
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:05,264
"ALONE"
260
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:12,765
"AND I THINK IT'S
GONNA BE A LONG,
LONG TIME
261
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:15,631
"TILL TOUCHDOWN
BRINGS ME ROUND
AGAIN TO FIND
262
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,865
"I'M NOT THE MAN
THEY THINK I
AM AT HOME
263
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:21,433
"OH, NO, NO, NO
264
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,732
"I'M A ROCK-IT MAN
265
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,498
"ROCKET MAN
266
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:29,499
"BURNING OUT HIS
FUSE OUT HERE ALONE"
267
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:40,065
OH, YEAH! THAT'S
THE GOOD STUFF.
268
00:11:44,967 --> 00:11:46,199
HI, YOU GUYS.
269
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,998
OH GOD,
IT'S HER.
270
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:50,131
LOOK, ABOUT
THE OTHER
NIGHT--
271
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,731
OH, THAT
WAS HILARIOUS.
272
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,465
I JUST WISH
I'D KNOWN
AHEAD OF TIME.
273
00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:55,066
I WOULD
HAVE BROUGHT
POTATO SALAD!
274
00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,199
[Laughing]
275
00:11:56,268 --> 00:11:57,433
[Laughing]
276
00:11:57,501 --> 00:12:00,065
HEY, YOU GUYS
WANT TOMORROW'S
BIOLOGY TEST?
277
00:12:00,134 --> 00:12:01,632
WHOA!
HOW'D YOU
GET THAT?
278
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:03,665
I SPENT THE
NIGHT WITH
MR. BURLER.
279
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:13,698
AH, THE SUN'S UP.
I'M SAFE FOR ANOTHER
NIGHT. THANKS, MEG.
280
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,365
WOW, THANKS!
281
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:16,499
SEE YA.
282
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:17,765
THAT WAS
KINDA COOL.
283
00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:19,299
YEAH.
284
00:12:19,368 --> 00:12:21,032
I'M BORED.
285
00:12:21,101 --> 00:12:23,799
HEY, YOU WANT TO GO PUSH THE
JANITOR, KNOWING HE CAN'T
LEGALLY PUSH US BACK?
286
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,932
SURE!
AWESOME.
287
00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:26,065
OK,
COOL.
288
00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:27,531
[Boy]
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
COOL, MAN.
289
00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:32,199
HEY, DAD,
LOOK AT THESE
LITTLE BANANAS.
290
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:33,665
[Laughing]
291
00:12:33,734 --> 00:12:35,765
WHY, YOU SMUG
LITTLE BASTARD!
292
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,265
PETER!
293
00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:40,932
CHRIS, THESE ARE
PLANTAINS. AND THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM.
294
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,332
IN FACT, A LOT OF
WOMEN PREFER THEM
TO NORMAL-SIZE BANANAS.
295
00:12:45,401 --> 00:12:47,132
BECAUSE
THEY'RE
EXOTIC,
296
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,698
AND FLAVORFUL
AND VERY, VERY
SPECIAL.
297
00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:52,765
OH, YEAH, SURE, LOIS.
ALL THE SORORITY GIRLS
298
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,765
ARE CLAMORING FOR
THE PLANTAIN SECTION.
299
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,333
STOP WITH THIS!
300
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,298
LOOK, PETER,
301
00:12:57,366 --> 00:12:58,298
YOU'RE
OVERREACTING
302
00:12:58,366 --> 00:12:59,465
TO THIS
CHRIS STUFF.
303
00:12:59,533 --> 00:13:00,865
I MEAN--I
MEAN, MINE GOES
INSIDE OF ME
304
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:02,065
WHEN I
STAND UP.
305
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:03,165
HOW DO
YOU THINK
I FEEL?
306
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:04,699
IS DAD MAD AT ME?
307
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,165
OH, OF COURSE
NOT, HONEY.
308
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,165
NOW GO PICK OUT
A BOX OF CEREAL,
AND MEET ME
309
00:13:08,234 --> 00:13:09,932
AT THE 10-INCHES-
OR-LESS LINE.
310
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,398
ITEMS!
311
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:12,465
[Both
gasping]
312
00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,032
NICE, HUH?
313
00:13:14,101 --> 00:13:15,133
AH?
314
00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:16,832
YEAH, YOU
LIKE THIS?
315
00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:18,065
[Woman]
OH, MY GOD.
316
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:20,432
STOP IT, PETER. YOU'RE
EMBARRASSIN' ME.
317
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:22,332
LOOK, I KNOW
YOU'RE UPSET, BUT--
318
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,133
OH, MY GOD.
WHERE'S STEWIE?
319
00:13:24,201 --> 00:13:25,331
HE'S AROUND.
320
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,966
[Stewie]
ARGH! LET ME
OUT OF THIS
321
00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:28,698
STINK-FILLED
CORDUROY
DUNGEON!
322
00:13:28,768 --> 00:13:29,966
PETER, THAT'S
SICK!
323
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:32,398
IT'S OK. HE'S
OUTSIDE THE
UNDERWEAR.
324
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,165
ENJOY YOUR NEW
CAR, MR. GRIFFIN.
325
00:13:36,234 --> 00:13:37,398
THANKS, JIM.
326
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:38,732
[Engine revving]
327
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,432
[Tires screeching]
328
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,732
♪[Instrumental rock music
playing]
329
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:51,231
HEY! HEY, WHEN YOU PULL
THAT THING INTO YOUR GARAGE,
DOES YOUR GARAGE SAY,
330
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,966
"IS IT--IS
IT IN YET?"
331
00:13:53,034 --> 00:13:54,364
[Laughing]
332
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,865
DON'T WORRY, BABY.
I'LL BE GENTLE.
333
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,665
[Tires screeching]
334
00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:10,832
[Crashing]
335
00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:12,498
[Horn honking]
336
00:14:12,567 --> 00:14:13,865
[Laughing]
337
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,365
OW.
338
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:19,698
MY PRIDE.
339
00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:22,832
MOM, YOU
WERE RIGHT.
340
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:25,265
I WAS NICE TO THE
COOL KIDS, AND THEY
DIDN'T SPIT ON ME.
341
00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,966
CONNIE DEMICO
EVEN INVITED ME
TO HER SWEET 16.
342
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,665
OH, HOW WONDERFUL! NOW,
WHAT TIME DO WE NAIL
THOSE SNOT-NOSED PUNKS?
343
00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,398
NAIL THEM? I
THOUGHT YOU
TOLD ME
344
00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:35,099
TO WIN
THEM OVER
WITH KINDNESS.
345
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:37,899
YES, AND NOW THAT
THEY THINK THAT
YOU'RE THEIR FRIEND
346
00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,131
IT'S THE PERFECT
TIME TO EXACT
YOUR REVENGE.
347
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,431
REVENGE?
348
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,799
SEE MEG, I'M LIKE
ONE OF THOSE
BALD EAGLES
349
00:14:43,868 --> 00:14:45,598
YOU SEE ON
THE DISCOVERY
CHANNEL.
350
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,465
BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT,
BUT MESS WITH
ONE OF MY CHICKS,
351
00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:51,765
AND I'LL USE MY
RAZOR-SHARP TALONS
TO RIP YOUR...EYES OUT!
352
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:54,432
COOKIES ARE DONE.
WHO WANTS
CHOCOLATE-CHIP?
353
00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:56,765
MMM. I DO! BUT
KEEP TALKING.
354
00:14:56,834 --> 00:15:00,464
ALL THIS STUFF
ABOUT EYE GOUGING
HAS GOTTEN ME ALL FRISKY.
355
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,698
REALLY. I'VE GOT
ABOUT A HALF A PACK
OF ROLAIDS IN MY DIAPER.
356
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,298
♪[Sad instrumental music
playing]
357
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,932
I'M GLAD YOU'RE INTERESTED
IN JOINING THE NATIONAL
GUN ASSOCIATION, PETER.
358
00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:15,065
LET ME SHOW
YOU AROUND.
359
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:16,732
THIS IS OUR
SHOOTING
RANGE.
360
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:31,698
AND HERE WE HAVE OUR
LOCKER ROOM WITH
FULL SHOWER FACILITIES.
361
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:33,798
HOLY CRAP!
THEY'RE ALL SO...
362
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,632
SMALL.
363
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:39,632
WELL, YOU SEE, PETER, THE WAY
WE LOOK AT IT, A MAN'S ONLY AS
BIG AS THE GUN HE CARRIES.
364
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:43,032
SIGN ME UP, JACK, AND
GIVE ME THE BIGGEST
FREAKIN' GUN YOU GOT.
365
00:15:43,101 --> 00:15:45,065
HEY, STEWIE, YOU
CAN COME OUT NOW.
366
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:48,199
AH, TURN OFF THE LIGHT.
I'M READING A GHOST STORY.
367
00:15:51,801 --> 00:15:52,865
[Rifle engaging]
368
00:15:52,934 --> 00:15:54,099
PULL!
369
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,265
[Shot fires]
370
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:56,298
OH, YEAH!
371
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,265
WHO'S THE BIG
MAN NOW, HUH?
372
00:15:58,334 --> 00:15:59,699
MADONNA OR
JANET JACKSON?
373
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:00,732
UH, WHICH
JANET JACKSON?
374
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,799
VELVET ROPE.
375
00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,299
YEAH, THAT ONE.
PULL!
376
00:16:03,368 --> 00:16:04,665
[Shot fires]
377
00:16:04,734 --> 00:16:06,498
PETER, WHAT THE
HELL ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT THING?
378
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:07,632
YOU WANNA
TOUCH IT?
379
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,432
GO ON. YOU
GOTTA BE
CAREFUL THOUGH.
380
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,099
YOU DON'T WANT IT TO
GET TOO EXCITED AND
GO OFF IN YOUR HAIR.
381
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,932
OH, THIS IS
PATHETIC, AND
ALL BECAUSE
382
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,699
YOU FEEL
INADEQUATE
NEXT TO CHRIS.
383
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,599
DON'T BE
STUPID. I DON'T
NEED TO COMPETE
384
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:19,598
WITH MY SON
OR HIS FREAKISHLY
LARGE PENIS.
385
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,831
I'M A FREAK.
386
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,032
WELL, DON'T
DESPAIR.
387
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,098
LET'S JUST
HANG A TIRE ON
THE END OF IT,
388
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,132
AND HEAD ON
DOWN TO THE OL'
SWIMMIN' HOLE.
389
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,765
OK, LISTEN UP.
CONNIE DEMICO'S
HOUSE IS 2 STORIES.
390
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:33,865
NOW, IF WE
SET UP BOOBY
TRAPS HERE, HERE--
391
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:35,565
HOW'D YOU
GET THESE
BLUEPRINTS?
392
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:40,132
OH, YOUR MOTHER
HAS HER WAYS.
SHE HAS HER WAYS.
393
00:16:40,201 --> 00:16:42,298
CAN I HAVE THE
BLUEPRINTS TO THE
DEMICO HOUSE?
394
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:43,832
SURE. HERE
YOU GO.
395
00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:47,465
NOW, I'VE PUT TOGETHER
A LITTLE FLASH BOMB TO
CREATE A DIVERSION.
396
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:50,266
I USED TO DATE
THE PYRO GUY
FROM WHITESNAKE.
397
00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:51,531
WHAT'S
WHITESNAKE?
398
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,732
THAT'S THE MUSIC
MOMMIES AND
DADDIES LISTEN TO.
399
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,132
FIRE IN
THE HOLE!
400
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,065
PETER, SOME OF THE GUYS
FROM THE CLUB ARE GOING
HUNTING TOMORROW.
401
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:03,599
WELL, COUNT
ME IN.
402
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,099
HUNTING? I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA PLAY
HOCKEY WITH CHRIS.
403
00:17:06,167 --> 00:17:07,532
WELL, YOU
CAN BRING
HIM ALONG.
404
00:17:07,601 --> 00:17:09,066
OH, NO.
IT'S TOO
DANGEROUS.
405
00:17:09,134 --> 00:17:13,432
LOIS, LOIS, THE
NATIONAL GUN ASSOCIATION
IS ALL ABOUT SAFETY.
406
00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:16,898
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT
COMES TO KIDS. TAKE
A LOOK AT OUR NEW VIDEO.
407
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:20,698
♪[Thrilling instrumental
music playing]
408
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:23,198
[Narrator]
LET'S FACE IT.
409
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:25,632
YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA
GET INTO YOUR GUNS.
THAT'S A FACT.
410
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,066
GUN ACCIDENTS
CAN BE AVOIDED
411
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:28,464
BY INTRODUCING
YOUR CHILDREN
412
00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:30,231
TO GUNS AS
EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
413
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:34,332
HI, I'M PETEY THE
PISTOL. SAY, DO YOU
EVER GET LONELY?
414
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:35,466
YES.
415
00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:38,065
ME, TOO.
HOLD ME.
416
00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:41,365
IF YOU SQUEEZE
ME, I MAKE BAD
PEOPLE GO AWAY.
417
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:44,432
BUT WAIT A
MINUTE. I THOUGHT
GUNS WERE BAD.
418
00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:46,498
[Narrator]
FALSE! GUNS ARE GOOD.
419
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,532
IN FACT, DID YOU KNOW
THAT JESUS AND MOSES
420
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,832
USED GUNS TO
CONQUER THE ROMANS?
421
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,431
SO, REMEMBER, GUNS
DON'T KILL PEOPLE,
422
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,232
DANGEROUS
MINORITIES DO.
423
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:04,331
SEE, LOIS?
THEY'RE
RESPONSIBLE.
424
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:12,798
HEY! HEY, CHECK IT OUT,
CHRIS. I CAN WRITE MY
NAME IN THE SNOW.
425
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,565
THIS IS
FUN, DAD.
426
00:18:16,634 --> 00:18:18,132
SON, SON,
I--I TOLD YOU.
427
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:21,598
OUT HERE IN THE
WILDERNESS, CALL
ME ROOSTER COGBURN.
428
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,365
YOU KNOW,
ROOSTER, I
WAS STARTING
429
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:25,098
TO THINK YOU
DIDN'T LIKE ME
ANYMORE.
430
00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:27,498
SHH. CHRIS,
LOOK! TRACKS.
431
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,498
THERE MUST
BE A DEER
AROUND HERE.
432
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,165
WELL, THOSE
ARE SNOWMOBILE
TRACKS.
433
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,399
SHH. THERE HE IS.
434
00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:36,865
[Cracking]
435
00:18:40,101 --> 00:18:41,998
AH, SUCH GRACE.
436
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,199
THAT'S THE THING
ABOUT HUNTING.
YOU GOTTA BE PATIENT.
437
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:45,232
[Bear growling]
438
00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:46,599
WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?
439
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,698
[Both screaming]
440
00:18:50,101 --> 00:18:51,698
♪[Pop music playing]
441
00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:52,832
[Kids chattering]
442
00:18:56,801 --> 00:19:00,165
HERE. PUT THIS IN THE
HEATING GRATE, AND
SET IT OFF IN 5 MINUTES.
443
00:19:00,234 --> 00:19:02,333
I CHANGED
MY MIND. I'M
NOT DOING IT.
444
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:04,132
THESE PEOPLE
ARE MY
FRIENDS NOW.
445
00:19:04,201 --> 00:19:05,698
AFTER THEY
PELTED YOU
WITH MEAT?
446
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:07,898
DID YOU FORGET HOW
THE NEIGHBOR KIDS
CHASED AFTER YOU
447
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,899
AND TRIED TO
SPRINKLE YOU
WITH FIXIN'S?
448
00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:12,531
YES, I DID!
449
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,731
OK. NOW WE'RE
GONNA PLAY "7
MINUTES IN HEAVEN."
450
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,266
AND IT'S
MY PARTY,
451
00:19:17,335 --> 00:19:21,333
SO I WANT DOUG
TO GO IN THE
CLOSET WITH MEG.
452
00:19:21,401 --> 00:19:22,665
[Girl]
OK.
453
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:23,865
[Boy]
HERE WE GO.
454
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:25,065
HAVE FUN.
455
00:19:25,134 --> 00:19:26,432
[Laughing]
456
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:32,965
OK, EVERYONE GET
READY. SAY HELLO
TO THE LOVERS.
457
00:19:33,034 --> 00:19:34,065
[All laughing]
458
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:35,665
[Meg screaming]
459
00:19:35,734 --> 00:19:37,598
[Pig squealing]
460
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:41,133
I DON'T KNOW WHO SHOULD
BE MORE HUMILIATED,
MEG OR THE PIG.
461
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,431
SHE'S SUCH
A DORK.
462
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,065
I THINK I
FEEL WORSE
FOR THE PIG.
463
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,765
[Crying]
464
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:49,799
MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT!
I SHOULD HAVE JUST
STUCK TO THE PLAN!
465
00:19:49,867 --> 00:19:52,464
WELL, I FIGURED
YOU MIGHT GET
SOFT ON ME,
466
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:55,465
SO I HIRED AN
OLD FRIEND TO SCAR
THEM FOR LIFE.
467
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:57,465
[Doorbell ringing]
468
00:19:57,533 --> 00:19:59,165
HEY THERE,
SWEETIE. HOW
OLD ARE YOU?
469
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:00,132
16.
470
00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:01,832
18? YOU'RE
FIRST.
471
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,932
MOM!
472
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,265
I LIKE WHERE
THIS IS GOIN'.
473
00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:06,532
GIGGIDY-GIGGIDY-GIGGIDY!
474
00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:08,298
[Bear growling]
475
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:09,965
DON'T WORRY, CHRIS.
I'LL HANDLE THE BEAR.
476
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,998
SAY HELLO TO
SATAN FOR ME!
477
00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:15,432
AHHH!
478
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,532
IT'S A BOY,
MRS. GRIFFIN.
479
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,299
I'M AFRAID
THE FEVER
HAS AFFECTED
480
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,032
HIS MOTOR SKILLS,
MRS. GRIFFIN.
481
00:20:21,101 --> 00:20:23,898
LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA
HAVE TO REPEAT THE 4TH
GRADE, MRS. GRIFFIN.
482
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:25,832
LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GOING TO
HAVE TO REPEAT
483
00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:27,731
THE 4TH GRADE,
MRS. GRIFFIN.
484
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,932
THE ONLY WAY
TO GET RID OF
THEM IS WITH
485
00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:32,065
THIS SPECIAL SHAMPOO
AND A TINY COMB,
MR. GRIFFIN.
486
00:20:32,134 --> 00:20:35,232
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'VE PASSED THE
4TH GRADE, MR. GRIFFIN.
487
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:39,331
AW, GREAT. LISTEN, I GOTTA
LEAVE, THOUGH. I'M GOING
HUNTIN' WITH MY SON.
488
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:43,699
DAD, I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
I SAW IT ON FOX'S
WHEN BEARS ATTACK!
489
00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:46,765
GO AWAY!
GO ON, GET!
490
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:49,866
STAY TUNED FOR
AN ALL-NEW
ALLY MCBEAL!
491
00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:52,432
HOLY CRAP!
CHRIS, THAT
WAS AMAZING.
492
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,032
I MEAN, I--I
JUST FROZE UP.
493
00:20:54,101 --> 00:20:56,598
BUT YOU HANDLED
THAT BEAR LIKE
A REAL MAN.
494
00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:57,966
I'M PROUD
OF YOU, SON.
495
00:20:58,034 --> 00:20:59,131
YOU ARE?
496
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,731
'CAUSE I HEARD
WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT MY HUGE,
497
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,898
YOU KNOW.
498
00:21:02,967 --> 00:21:03,898
OH.
499
00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:06,432
OH, YOU--YOU
HEARD THAT, HUH?
500
00:21:06,501 --> 00:21:08,565
WELL, I--I
WAS JUST
BEING STUPID.
501
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,299
TAKE IT FROM ME.
THAT THING YOU GOT
THERE IS A BLESSING.
502
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:14,732
I MEAN, EVERY GUY
YOU SEE WITH A BIG
HOUSE OR A FANCY CAR
503
00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:18,932
OR A SHINY GOLD TOOTH
IS REALLY JUST SAYING,
"DON'T LOOK AT MY PENIS."
504
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:20,765
BUT YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THAT.
505
00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:22,798
THANKS, DAD.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
506
00:21:25,134 --> 00:21:27,799
YOU KNOW, DAD,
I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.
507
00:21:27,867 --> 00:21:29,765
YOUR NAME'S
PETER.
508
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:30,799
[Laughing]
YEAH!
509
00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:33,165
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS.
HA! HA! HA!
510
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:34,932
PETER.
511
00:21:35,001 --> 00:21:36,732
[Both laughing]
512
00:21:43,801 --> 00:21:45,599
♪[Theme music playing]