﻿1
00:00:01,833 --> 00:00:04,865
        ♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
       THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪

2
00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:08,198
      ♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
         AND SEX ON T.V. ♪

3
00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:11,832
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
  OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪

4
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:14,965
 ♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪

5
00:00:15,034 --> 00:00:18,231
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪

6
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,598
  ♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
      POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪

7
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,133
        ♪ ALL THE THINGS
         THAT MAKE US ♪

8
00:00:23,201 --> 00:00:24,865
             ♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪

9
00:00:24,934 --> 00:00:29,565
     ♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪

10
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:34,365
 ♪[News bulletin music
        playing]

11
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:37,098
             <i> A TRAGIC ACCIDENT</i>
            <i> TODAY IN THE NORTH</i>
              <i> PROVIDENCE AREA.</i>

12
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:38,865
                 <i> A FAMILY OF 4</i>
              <i> LOST THEIR LIVES</i>

13
00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:40,565
            <i> WHEN THEIR MINIVAN</i>
          <i> SWERVED OFF THE ROAD</i>

14
00:00:40,634 --> 00:00:42,766
            <i> AND INTO A RAVINE,</i>
          <i> EXPLODING ON IMPACT.</i>

15
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:43,932
<i> [Snickering]</i>

16
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,532
                   <i> DO YOU FIND</i>
              <i> THIS FUNNY, TOM?</i>

17
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,965
<i> NO, NO, NO. I WAS</i>
 <i> REMEMBERING, I</i>
  <i> ACCIDENTALLY</i>

18
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:50,398
<i> PUT MY SHIRT ON INSIDE</i>
   <i> OUT THIS MORNING.</i>

19
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,932
  <i> IT'S FINE</i>
<i> NOW, THOUGH.</i>

20
00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:53,298
<i> SO--SO--SO, WHAT</i>
<i> WERE YOU SAYING?</i>

21
00:00:53,366 --> 00:00:55,465
 <i> ABOUT A--A</i>
<i> FASHION SHOW?</i>

22
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,899
                   CHRIS, TURN
                 THE T.V. OFF.

23
00:00:56,967 --> 00:00:59,732
              WE GOTTA FIND AN
              ANNIVERSARY GIFT
              FOR MOM AND DAD.

24
00:00:59,801 --> 00:01:01,398
  DON'T LOOK!
WE'RE SHOPPING!

25
00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:02,598
WE'RE SHOPPING!

26
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,599
      OH, KIDS, YOU DON'T
      NEED TO DO ANYTHING

27
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,132
          SPECIAL FOR
       OUR ANNIVERSARY.

28
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,665
         JUST YOUR FATHER.

29
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,032
I HOPE HE DOESN'T WAIT
 AND GET YOUR GIFT AT
THE LAST MINUTE AGAIN.

30
00:01:11,101 --> 00:01:13,499
           MY GOODNESS!
          A HUMAN THUMB.

31
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:15,132
 WHERE DID YOU
EVER FIND THIS?

32
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,732
               IT WAS ON EBAY.

33
00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:18,065
                    [Vomiting]

34
00:01:18,134 --> 00:01:20,165
               OH, GOD! CALL
               AN AMBULANCE!

35
00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:22,232
            THIS YEAR, INSTEAD
          OF EXCHANGING GIFTS,

36
00:01:22,301 --> 00:01:23,732
                 I TOLD HIM IT
                 WOULD BE NICE

37
00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:26,198
              IF WE COULD JUST
              SPEND A ROMANTIC
                 DAY TOGETHER.

38
00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:28,731
           OH, DEAR!
        I THINK WE ALL
     KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

39
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:29,831
           BOING!

40
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:30,899
            GROSS.

41
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,532
            HEY, FELLAS!
             GUESS WHAT?

42
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,965
                I GOT US A TEE
                 TIME TOMORROW

43
00:01:36,034 --> 00:01:37,231
                 AT BARRINGTON
                 COUNTRY CLUB.

44
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,132
         BARRINGTON? WOW!

45
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,265
    I'M IN.

46
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,898
         UH, PETER, TOMORROW'S
             YOUR ANNIVERSARY.

47
00:01:41,967 --> 00:01:43,098
       AW, CRAP!

48
00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:45,132
   IF LOIS FINDS OUT I'M
DITCHING HER TO PLAY GOLF,

49
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,998
     SHE'LL HIT ME
  WITH A FRYING PAN.

50
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,831
     WHICH IS WHY
    I'M GONNA DRINK

51
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,998
    THIS FRYING-PAN
       ANTIDOTE.

52
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,832
      [Gulping]

53
00:01:52,901 --> 00:01:55,098
   ALL RIGHT, HIT
    ME WITH THIS.

54
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:56,532
     DIDN'T WORK.

55
00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:00,231
        [Birds chirping]

56
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,431
           [Smashing]

57
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,298
                WHAT THE HELL?

58
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:18,098
    "LOIS, IT'S AN ANNIVERSARY
            SCAVENGER HUNT.

59
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,631
        "YOUR FIRST CLUE IS AT
         THE QUAHOG MINI-MART.

60
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:21,998
            "LOVE, PETER."

61
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,432
              OH, HOW FUN!

62
00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:29,598
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,
BEFORE YOU TEE OFF,

63
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:30,832
HERE ARE YOUR
COMPLIMENTARY

64
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,298
MONOGRAMMED BAG TOWELS,
A SLEEVE OF BALLS,

65
00:02:33,366 --> 00:02:35,698
               AND THIS MOBILE
                 BALL CLEANER.

66
00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:37,166
           [Swishing]

67
00:02:38,401 --> 00:02:40,265
           [Squeaking]

68
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,832
   CLEAN AS A
  WHISTLE, SIR.

69
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,632
              UM, I'M--I'M NOT
               GONNA GET SHORT

70
00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:45,065
                   BY TOUCHING
              YOUR SPIT, AM I?

71
00:02:45,134 --> 00:02:47,165
    [Chuckling]
   YOU'D BE THE
   FIRST, CHAMP.

72
00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:49,999
       WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

73
00:02:50,068 --> 00:02:51,032
 SORRY, FELLAS.

74
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:53,398
 I'M NOT GONNA BE
   ABLE TO PLAY.

75
00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:55,032
              LORETTA'S MOTHER
                   IS IN TOWN,

76
00:02:55,101 --> 00:02:57,099
                AND WE HAVE TO
             GO BUY NEW SHEETS

77
00:02:57,168 --> 00:02:58,598
              FOR THE DOG BED.

78
00:02:58,667 --> 00:02:59,665
        CLEVELAND!

79
00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,732
           I MEAN, THE PULLOUT
                  SOFA BED.

80
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,265
               CLEVELAND, THIS
                IS BARRINGTON.

81
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:05,598
        YOU COULD BE THE FIRST
             BLACK GUY EVER TO
             PLAY THIS COURSE.

82
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:06,899
              PEOPLE ARE GONNA
                 BE IMPRESSED.

83
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:07,899
                   HEY, A
                 BLACK GUY!

84
00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:08,932
      OOH, FUN!

85
00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:10,165
COME ON,
CLEVELAND.

86
00:03:10,234 --> 00:03:11,998
                LOOK, MAYBE WE
                  SHOULD PLAY
                 ANOTHER TIME.

87
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,498
       SCREW THAT.
     I BUSTED MY ASS

88
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:15,365
 KEEPING LOIS BUSY
SO I COULD BE HERE.

89
00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:17,065
NOW, LET'S GRIP
IT AND RIP IT.

90
00:03:17,134 --> 00:03:18,732
  THE FED IS GONNA BE
    LOWERING RATES,

91
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:20,365
     GET YOUR MONEY
     OUT OF T-BILLS

92
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,665
     AND PUT IT ALL
     INTO...WAFFLES!

93
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:22,598
    TASTY WAFFLES

94
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,233
   WITH LOTS OF SYRUP!

95
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,232
                      WAFFLES!
                  BUY WAFFLES!

96
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,565
         [All yelling]
       WAFFLES! WAFFLES!

97
00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:35,232
OK, KIDS.

98
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:37,232
  KEEP YOUR EYES
PEELED FOR A CLUE.

99
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,598
  NOW, NOW, NOW, WHAT
JUGHEAD HAS DONE HERE,

100
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:41,799
    AND IT'S R-REALLY
QUITE INGENIOUS ACTUALLY,

101
00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:44,298
 IS PAINT PUPILS
 ON HIS EYELIDS

102
00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:46,199
 SO HE CAN SLEEP
  THROUGH CLASS

103
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:49,032
 WITHOUT MISS GRUNDY
BEING ANY THE WISER.

104
00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:50,166
             [Laughing]

105
00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:51,865
           HE'S SLEEPING.

106
00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,999
                 MOM, I FOUND
             DAD'S FIRST CLUE.

107
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,431
 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR
FATHER ORGANIZED THIS.

108
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,332
USUALLY HE CAN'T EVEN
HANDLE SIMPLE TASKS.

109
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,765
           PETER, WHY IS THERE
               A DIAPER IN THE
                LAMP SOCKET?

110
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,965
        AH! LOIS, HE'S
        DONE IT AGAIN!

111
00:04:05,034 --> 00:04:06,331
         WAIT A MINUTE.

112
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,265
        [Buzzing]

113
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:09,332
                HA!

114
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,765
PETER, LET'S PACK IT
IN. THERE'S TOO MUCH
   WATER OUT HERE.

115
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:17,232
              YEAH. LET'S HIT
               THE BAR, HUH?

116
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,899
        OH, COME ON.
    THERE'S WORSE THINGS
     IN LIFE THAN RAIN.

117
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,065
        LIKE, UH, LIKE,
        LIKE, SPIDERS.

118
00:04:22,134 --> 00:04:24,532
       OH, HE'S BEHIND
          THE DOOR!

119
00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:26,299
            [Coughing]

120
00:04:26,368 --> 00:04:28,199
          [Whispering]
           PETER, HE'S
       BOTHERING EVERYONE.

121
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,499
          SAY SOMETHING.

122
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:30,999
                SAY SOMETHING?
            I'LL KICK HIS ASS.

123
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,665
                 SOMEONE OUGHT
              TO KICK HIS ASS.

124
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:34,365
       DON'T GO IN THERE!

125
00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,431
               PETER!

126
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,132
         ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
            GIVE ME A KLEENEX.

127
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,465
I KNEW HE WAS BAD.
   I KNEW...AAH!

128
00:04:40,534 --> 00:04:41,532
                OUT OF ME WAY!

129
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,199
              THEY'RE AFTER ME
                 LUCKY CHARMS!

130
00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:45,765
            [Laughing]
          I PAID HIM $10
            TO SAY IT.

131
00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:47,098
            [Laughing]
             CLASSIC.

132
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,365
                  WE'LL BE IN
                THE CLUBHOUSE.

133
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:49,665
GO ON, RUN AWAY!

134
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:51,598
MORE GOLF COURSE
     FOR ME!

135
00:04:53,768 --> 00:04:55,899
       [Thunder rumbling]

136
00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:57,066
 THAT WAS CLOSE.

137
00:04:57,134 --> 00:04:58,265
HUH, THAT LOOKS
  DANGEROUS.

138
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,698
      SOMEBODY'S GONNA
          GET HURT.

139
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,232
        [Grunting]

140
00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:06,732
            IT'LL BE FINE.

141
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,998
♪[Magical instrumental music
          playing]

142
00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:13,431
             [Gasps]

143
00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:15,898
           [Together]
           YOU AGAIN?

144
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,131
   ♪[Mysterious instrumental
         music playing]

145
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,966
   OH, DEATH, PLEASE,
   DON'T TAKE ME NOW.

146
00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:23,499
                 RELAX. YOU'RE
                    NOT DYING.

147
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,632
          YOU'RE JUST HAVING A
        NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE.

148
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:26,698
         OH, THANK GOD!

149
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:28,165
                     OH, YEAH,
                    THANK GOD.

150
00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,598
               THANK GOD I GET
                   TO HANG OUT

151
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,699
            WITH A FASCINATING
           GENT LIKE YOURSELF!

152
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,598
  SO, WHEN AM
 I GONNA DIE?

153
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,299
                 ABOUT 2 YEARS
               AFTER YOUR WIFE
                 DIVORCES YOU.

154
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,832
 WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

155
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:39,365
  LOIS WOULD
NEVER LEAVE ME.

156
00:05:39,434 --> 00:05:42,098
SHE'S BEEN CRAZY ABOUT ME
 SINCE THE NIGHT WE MET.

157
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,433
   ♪[Sweet instrumental music
            playing]

158
00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:47,265
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S ME!

159
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,366
LOOK HOW THIN I WAS!

160
00:05:49,435 --> 00:05:52,166
         MY, THIS IS CERTAINLY
            A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

161
00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:54,132
                I LOVE LOOKING
                   AT STARS.

162
00:05:54,201 --> 00:05:55,698
          SAY NO MORE.

163
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:56,932
              PETER, WAIT. I--

164
00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,165
    "VERY INTERESTING.

165
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,199
      "BUT STUPID."

166
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,365
             [Laughing]

167
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:04,565
          OH, MY GOD! I
       LOVE ARTE JOHNSON!

168
00:06:04,634 --> 00:06:06,765
   THEN WHY DON'T YOU
    GIVE HIM A KISS?

169
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,665
                    [Laughing]
                NO, PETER, GET
                 AWAY FROM ME.

170
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:09,665
COME ON.

171
00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:10,665
                    STOP IT.

172
00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:12,798
GIVE ARTE JOHNSON
     A KISS.

173
00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,331
        [Both giggling]

174
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:16,532
        [Both grunting]

175
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:23,965
        ♪[Music playing]

176
00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:25,732
          OH, MY GOD!

177
00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:27,499
       [Tires screeching]

178
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,732
       [Metal clattering]

179
00:06:30,801 --> 00:06:33,266
       OH, PETER,
      I HEAR MUSIC.

180
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,565
YEAH. ME, TOO.

181
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:37,266
FROM NOW ON,
THIS'LL BE OUR SONG.

182
00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:38,832
        <i> ♪ WANNA TELL YOU</i>
       <i> I LOVE YOUR WAY ♪</i>

183
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,099
                          OW!

184
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,332
                    [Groaning]

185
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,099
       I'VE NEVER MET
       A GUY LIKE YOU.

186
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,832
      YOU'RE SO FULL
         OF LIFE.

187
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:48,998
                     [Moaning]

188
00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:51,065
               [Dogs growling]

189
00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:53,665
    IT'S LIKE I CAN REALLY
      BE MYSELF WITH YOU.

190
00:06:53,734 --> 00:06:55,132
       I'M SO HAPPY.

191
00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:56,564
                   [Screaming]

192
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,464
 AW, MAN! SHE
WAS BEAUTIFUL.

193
00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,665
  YOU KNOW, THIS LOOKS
    AWFULLY FAMILIAR.

194
00:07:00,733 --> 00:07:03,131
       WAIT A SECOND!
      I REMEMBER THIS!

195
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,698
     THAT'S ME!

196
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:06,266
LOOK AT ALL THAT HAIR.

197
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:08,965
I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT
    THAT LOOKED GOOD.

198
00:07:09,034 --> 00:07:10,965
I MUST HAVE BEEN HIGH.

199
00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:12,966
            I LOVE YOU,
        LOIS PEWTERSCHMIDT.

200
00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:15,465
                   I LOVE YOU,
                PETER GRIFFIN.

201
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:16,865
    LOOK AT THAT.
      HUH? HUH?

202
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,899
THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S
   GONNA LEAVE ME.

203
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,632
         NOW, PUT ME BACK
          IN MY FREAKIN'
         BODY, ALL RIGHT?

204
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:25,231
               I CAN'T PUT YOU
           BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE
                A REVELATION.

205
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,932
            YOU KNOW,
       ONE OF THOSE THINGS
     THAT CHANGES YOUR LIFE.

206
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:30,298
TO HELL WITH THIS.
  I'M GOING HOME.

207
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,598
           WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
                YOU CAN'T GET
                IN THAT WAY.

208
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:35,098
     I'M SURE AS HELL NOT
    GOING IN THE BACK DOOR.

209
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:37,465
          CRAP! I DON'T
       HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

210
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,432
        LISTEN, I'M LATE
       FOR AN APPOINTMENT.

211
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,265
     IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
    FOLLOW PROCEDURE, FINE.

212
00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:42,699
STAY HERE IN LIMBO.

213
00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:44,032
      NO, NO, NO,
      WAIT--WAIT.

214
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,832
 I DON'T WANT
TO BE IN LIMBO!

215
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,832
                OK. IT SAYS
               THE NEXT NOTE

216
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:57,465
               WILL BE RIGHT
              UNDER MY NOSE.

217
00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:58,999
           [Announcer]
        <i> AND THEY'RE OFF!</i>

218
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,932
       <i> AND QUICK OUT IN</i>
     <i> FRONT, SILVER DASHER,</i>

219
00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:02,732
      <i> FOLLOWED BY MY NOSE!</i>

220
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:04,298
                A HA!
           HOLD MY PURSE!

221
00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:06,532
         [Dogs barking]

222
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:10,565
        WHAT'S MOM DOING?

223
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:11,898
     I'LL TELL YOU
   WHAT SHE'S DOING.

224
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,266
     SHE'S SCREWING
   UP MY 6-2 QUINELLA.
        DAMN IT!

225
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:16,665
        <i> MY NOSE IN FRONT,</i>
    <i> FOLLOWED BY SEA BISCUIT,</i>

226
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:18,365
        <i> FOLLOWED BY SOME</i>
           <i> CRAZY LADY,</i>

227
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:20,132
           <i> FOLLOWED BY</i>
     <i> MIDDLE-AGED HOUSEWIFE,</i>

228
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,832
          <i> FOLLOWED BY</i>
  <i> WAIT A MINUTE, WHO'S THAT?,</i>

229
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,432
   <i> FOLLOWED BY SILVER DASHER.</i>

230
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,798
       <i> AND NOW IT APPEARS</i>
         <i> THERE'S A WOMAN</i>
        <i> CHASING THE DOGS.</i>

231
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,098
         LET'S GO, KIDS!

232
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,432
             BLACKIE, TELL THE
           BOYS IN KANSAS CITY
               THE BET'S OFF.

233
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:34,865
TOO LATE, STEWIE.
 THE FIX IS IN,

234
00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:36,598
AND THE NOODLES ARE
BOILING IN THE POT.

235
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,198
BOILING, I TELL YOU!

236
00:08:38,266 --> 00:08:39,265
                         AHH!

237
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,765
  WAIT A MINUTE.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

238
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:42,799
I FIGURED OUT MY
REVELATION. UH...

239
00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:44,065
        GOD LOVES A
       WORKING MAN.

240
00:08:44,134 --> 00:08:45,065
                     NO!

241
00:08:45,134 --> 00:08:46,932
THE SHADOW IS IN REALITY
    LAMONT CRANSTON,

242
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,498
      WEALTHY YOUNG
     MAN ABOUT TOWN.

243
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,332
     NO! OH, CRAP!
       I'M LATE.

244
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,299
 I'M IN BIG,
BIG TROUBLE!

245
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,032
           JEEZ, YOU'RE PRETTY
           SHOOK UP ABOUT THAT
         APPOINTMENT OF YOURS!

246
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:57,998
            YOU'RE DEATH. WHAT
            ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

247
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,465
                WHERE THE HELL
                HAVE YOU BEEN?

248
00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:02,598
        WHEN I SAID LUNCH, I
      SAID NOON, NOT NOON-ISH.

249
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,832
   SORRY, MA.

250
00:09:03,901 --> 00:09:07,065
       SORRY? IS "SORRY" GONNA
         REHEAT THE CASSEROLE?

251
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,398
                     SO, WHO'S
                  YOUR FRIEND?

252
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,966
    IT'S A WORK THING, MA.
    NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE.

253
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,198
 WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?

254
00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:13,299
                 I GOTTA
              TAKE A LEAK.

255
00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:15,432
       WELL, DON'T FORGET
       TO ZIP UP YOUR FLY.

256
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,332
            [Yelling]
          IF YOU DON'T
        ZIP UP YOUR FLY,

257
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,265
    A SEAGULL WILL GET YOU!

258
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,365
            GOD, SHE'S A PAIN
               IN THE ASS!

259
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:23,231
                I WISH DAD
              WAS STILL DEAD.

260
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,665
  I'LL TELL YOU,
     LOIS' DAD

261
00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:27,432
 WAS A PAIN IN THE
ASS WHEN I MET HIM.

262
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,298
      [Door bell ringing]

263
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:34,598
            HI. CAN I TAKE
            MY TIE OFF YET?

264
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,832
                OH, PETER, YOU
            LOOK SO WONDERFUL.

265
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:38,799
            YOU AREN'T NERVOUS
                 ABOUT MEETING
                DADDY ARE YOU?

266
00:09:38,867 --> 00:09:40,398
     OH, YOU'LL KNOW
    WHEN I'M NERVOUS.

267
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:41,398
[Man]
LOIS?

268
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:42,499
         [Farting]

269
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,498
      NOW. LOIS, TAKE
     THE RAP FOR THIS.

270
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:47,398
   I ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO
   MAKE A FIRST IMPRESSION.

271
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,165
                  [Sniffing]

272
00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:51,798
      HI, DADDY.
     THAT WAS ME.

273
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:52,866
AND THIS IS PETER.

274
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,299
       HEY, MR. PEWTERSCHMIDT.

275
00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,165
               WHAT ARE YOU
        FEEDING THIS GAL, HUH?

276
00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:57,199
                PETER GRIFFIN.

277
00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:58,865
               CAN I TAKE THIS
             FREAKIN' TIE OFF?

278
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,331
         IT'S A PLEASURE,
       PETER. MY DAUGHTER IS
       QUITE TAKEN WITH YOU.

279
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,799
      AND I'M TAKEN WITH HER.

280
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,331
                  I MEAN, LOOK
                 AT THIS, HUH?

281
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,098
             SHOW US FRONT AND
             BACK THERE, LOIS.

282
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,065
             YEAH, DON'T THINK
                I DON'T KNOW

283
00:10:09,134 --> 00:10:10,399
        WHERE THAT COMES FROM.

284
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,598
       THAT'S SOME WORLD-CLASS
         JUICE YOU GOT BREWING

285
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,565
      IN THE OLD FLESH BALLOON
           DOWN THERE, CARTER.

286
00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:15,798
                 HUH? HUH?

287
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,265
        I'M GONNA GO
        GET MY PURSE.

288
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:18,498
      ALL RIGHT. HEY,

289
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:20,299
BASED ON WHAT YOU'VE
SEEN WITH YOUR WIFE,

290
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,399
W-WHAT CAN WE EXPECT IN
TERMS OF DROOPAGE HERE?

291
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:23,832
     WE TALKING A
     SLIGHT SLOPE

292
00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:25,932
     OR THE FULL-BLOWN
    FRIED-EGGS-HANGING-
     ON-A-NAIL-THING?

293
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,732
                PETER, WHAT DO
             YOU THINK OF THIS
                BRONZE STATUE?

294
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,398
       IT'S NICE.
          IT'S EARLY ETRUSCAN.

295
00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:30,464
OH, GET OUT OF HERE!

296
00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,431
                NO, SERIOUSLY.

297
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:32,765
   OH, THAT'S GREAT.

298
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:34,665
                  [Snaps]

299
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,832
            [Coughing]

300
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,899
                HEY, LOOK.
                A MANATEE!

301
00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:49,432
       WE CAN USE IT FOR SOUP.

302
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:56,198
         ENSIGN GLEN QUAGMIRE.
              WELCOME ABOARD.

303
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:58,432
                [Snickering]
            YOU PICKED A GREAT
           DAY TO GET RESCUED.

304
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,632
                WE WERE JUST
          ABOUT TO SING A SONG
               ABOUT MOPPING.

305
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,265
       ♪[Music playing]

306
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,665
   ♪ WE'RE MOPPING THE DECK ♪

307
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,565
 ♪ WHICH IS NAVY FOR "FLOOR" ♪

308
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,298
        ♪ AND WHEN WE'RE
         DONE MOPPING ♪

309
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,032
   ♪ WE'LL MOP IT SOME MORE ♪

310
00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:10,565
     ♪ "SWAB" MEANS "MOP" ♪

311
00:11:10,634 --> 00:11:12,298
   ♪ "DECK" MEANS "FLOOR" ♪

312
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,966
         COULD YOU TELL ME
        WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING
        TO GO BACK IN TIME?

313
00:11:15,034 --> 00:11:16,531
           I WAS TALKING
             TO A ROBE

314
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,333
          ON THE COAT RACK
           FOR 20 MINUTES

315
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,166
          BEFORE I REALIZED
         YOU WEREN'T IN IT.

316
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:22,531
           MA, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
               LEAVE ME ALONE!

317
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,598
                  I'M WORKING!

318
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,432
            DON'T YELL AT
            YOUR MOTHER!

319
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,032
          IF YOU YELL AT
           YOUR MOTHER,

320
00:11:27,101 --> 00:11:29,532
           A HEN WILL LAY
         EGGS IN YOUR TUMMY.

321
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,364
   WOW! BRILLIANTLY
    CHOREOGRAPHED.

322
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:32,932
WELL, THAT'S YOUR TAX
  DOLLARS AT WORK.

323
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:34,932
  SAY, WHY DON'T
  YOU JOIN US AND
  SEE THE WORLD?

324
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,232
             SORRY, PAL.

325
00:11:36,301 --> 00:11:39,032
        I'VE SEEN THE WORLD,
        AND ITS NAME IS LOIS.

326
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,132
           HOW ROMANTIC!

327
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,165
            WHY CAN'T YOU
          FIND A NICE GIRL?

328
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,632
               MA, SHE'S GONNA
                    DUMP HIM.

329
00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:46,632
             WELL, AT LEAST
            HE GOT THAT FAR.

330
00:11:46,701 --> 00:11:48,465
         YOU KNOW WHO HE
        TOOK TO THE PROM?

331
00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:49,565
           HIS COUSIN!

332
00:11:49,634 --> 00:11:51,032
THAT'S WEAK.
               YEAH.

333
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:52,165
      [Both laughing]

334
00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:53,866
                ALL RIGHT, ALL
             RIGHT, THAT'S IT!

335
00:11:53,934 --> 00:11:55,132
                   I'M SICK OF
                  BOTH OF YOU.

336
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,265
               COME ON, PETER.

337
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,231
               DEATH, PUT YOUR
                   JACKET ON,

338
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,665
                     OR YOU'LL
                GET FROSTBITE!

339
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:00,998
      [Death]
I DON'T HAVE SKIN!

340
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:03,099
            THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
        DIDN'T EAT YOUR BEANS!

341
00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:05,932
                      COME ON.
                      COME ON.

342
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,865
              GET BACK IN YOUR
                BIG, FAT BODY.

343
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:09,965
        WHY SHOULD I HELP SOME
         GUY SAVE HIS MARRIAGE

344
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:11,565
             WHEN I CAN'T EVEN
                  GET A GIRL?

345
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:12,531
          WHOA, WHOA,
          WHOA, WAIT!

346
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:13,832
       WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

347
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,731
               THE REVELATION,
                    JACKASS!

348
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,165
                 IT COULD HAVE
               HELPED YOU SAVE
            YOUR MARRIAGE. OH!

349
00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:19,165
                 BUT TOO LATE.

350
00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:20,499
            OH, AND, UH,
             BY THE WAY,

351
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,132
         WHEN THE LIGHTNING
              HIT YOU,

352
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:24,332
            YOU SOILED
         YOURSELF. ENJOY.

353
00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:26,565
 WAIT--WAIT--WAIT.
I CAN'T LOSE LOIS!

354
00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:28,132
   PLEASE, I'LL
   DO ANYTHING.

355
00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:29,365
             WHAT IF...

356
00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:31,198
        WHAT IF I HELPED
         YOU GET A GIRL?

357
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,032
        REALLY? YOU--YOU THINK
            YOU COULD DO THAT?

358
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,198
SURE. ALL WE GOTTA
   DO IS GET YOU
A LITTLE FIXED UP.

359
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:38,331
  YOU KNOW, GET YOU
   A HAIRCUT, GIVE
 YOU A GOOD CLEAN--

360
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,464
       [Screaming]

361
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:43,098
  SHAVE, MAYBE
  SOME COLOGNE.

362
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,464
THE CHICKS'LL BE
  ALL OVER YOU.

363
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:46,532
             GEE! Y-YOU REALLY
                   THINK SO?

364
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,665
           ABSOLUTELY.

365
00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:50,932
[Vomiting]

366
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,231
           YOU GOT ANY SPF-50?

367
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:57,932
              I BLEACH LIKE
               A GYM SOCK.

368
00:12:58,001 --> 00:12:59,431
   LOOK, DEATH,
  WILL YOU RELAX?

369
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,999
I TOLD YOU, THE BEACH
 IS A PERFECT PLACE
 TO PICK UP CHICKS.

370
00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:04,665
 I WANT YOU TO GO OVER
  THERE AND ASK THOSE
GIRLS IF YOU CAN PLAY.

371
00:13:06,134 --> 00:13:08,632
UH, HEY, CAN
 I JOIN YOU?

372
00:13:08,701 --> 00:13:10,465
      I GUESS.
  WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

373
00:13:12,301 --> 00:13:13,298
              JOSH.

374
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:14,831
          DO YOU, LIKE,
        LIVE AROUND HERE?

375
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:17,233
NO. I, UH, I LIVE
  WITH MY MOM.

376
00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:19,832
            LET'S GET
          OUT OF HERE.

377
00:13:19,901 --> 00:13:22,298
           SEE YOU, JOSH. TELL
          YOUR MOM WE SAID HI.

378
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,565
                    [Giggling]

379
00:13:23,634 --> 00:13:24,999
             [Man]
           HEADS UP!

380
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,232
    [Meg]
  HOW DO WE
GET UP THERE?

381
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,665
 DAD PUT GREASE
  ON THE POLE.

382
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:31,831
DON'T WORRY, MEG.

383
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,032
WE'VE BEEN STUDYING
FULCRUMS IN SCHOOL.

384
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,598
YOU SIMPLY HAVE
TO COUNTER-BALANCE

385
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,665
THE WEIGHT AT THE POINT
WHERE THE LEVER PIVOTS.

386
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,099
LIKE SO.

387
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:40,932
        STEWIE, HONEY,

388
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,198
            WANT TO PLAY
            ROCKET SHIP?

389
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,231
  WHAT THE DEUCE?

390
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,331
                  BLAST OFF!

391
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,665
 GO ON, STEWIE. GET
 THE NOTE FOR MOMMY.

392
00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:47,999
         HOW DARE YOU USE ME

393
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:50,364
        FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL
           SELFISH... HMM.

394
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,431
           OH, PULL SLOWER.

395
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,631
        I MUST REMEMBER TO
        DO THIS AGAIN WHEN
         NO ONE'S AROUND.

396
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,199
               WHAT THE HELL
              WAS I THINKING?

397
00:13:57,268 --> 00:13:59,299
       YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
      ABOUT PICKING UP CHICKS.

398
00:13:59,368 --> 00:14:01,932
    ARE YOU KIDDING?
I LEARNED FROM THE BEST.

399
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:07,131
   COME ON, BUDDY. WE'RE
DROPPING ANCHOR IN JAMAICA!

400
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,365
             OH, GREAT!
        WE'RE GETTING CLOSER
          TO RHODE ISLAND.

401
00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:10,965
      RHODE ISLAND?
      FORGET THAT.

402
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:13,066
    I'M TAKING YOU OUT
   FOR SOME SHORE LEAVE.

403
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:14,532
         DOES THIS LOOK
       LIKE A "Q" TO YOU?

404
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,498
               NO.

405
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,465
          HOW ABOUT NOW?

406
00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:17,531
        SORRY, QUAGMIRE.

407
00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:19,732
        YOUR CROTCH JUST
     LOOKS LIKE LOIS TO ME.

408
00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:21,265
         WELL, LET'S
        ASK HER THEN.

409
00:14:21,334 --> 00:14:25,498
      HEY, LOIS, SHOULD
    PETER SIT AROUND AND
       MOPE ALL NIGHT?

410
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:29,231
     OR SHOULD PETER GO
     OUT WITH HIS BUDDY
     AND HAVE SOME FUN?

411
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,299
            HEH, HEH,
           ALL RIGHT!

412
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,432
  OK, THAT ONE'S
 A FEMINIST TYPE.

413
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,665
 SHE'S INTO HE-MEN.

414
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:38,299
  AND THAT ONE'S
   MAD FOR JAZZ.

415
00:14:38,367 --> 00:14:40,032
                 WATCH THIS.

416
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,432
THE PLIGHT OF WOMEN
IN THIS HEMISPHERE
  IS DEPLORABLE!

417
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,066
       I CAN BENCH-PRESS
          800 POUNDS!

418
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,698
    YOU, ME AND COLTRANE
         TILL DAWN!

419
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,531
      GIGGEDY, GIGGEDY,
      GIGGEDY, GIGGEDY.

420
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,398
         THERE YOU GO, PETER.
        ONE FOR YOU, 2 FOR ME.

421
00:14:49,466 --> 00:14:51,298
          [Sighs]
YOU GUYS GO ON WITHOUT ME.

422
00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:00,032
            [Sighs]

423
00:15:00,101 --> 00:15:01,531
SO, WHY DIDN'T YOU
   GO WITH THEM?

424
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,899
            AH, YOU DON'T KNOW
           WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN
               YOU'RE IN LOVE.

425
00:15:03,968 --> 00:15:05,766
   OH, YEAH?
HER NAME'S AMY.

426
00:15:05,834 --> 00:15:07,331
  SHE WORKS AT
  A PET STORE.

427
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,565
 I MET HER LAST
 SUMMER WHEN HER
DAD HUNG HIMSELF.

428
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,398
BUT I WAS TOO SHY
 TO ASK HER OUT.

429
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,932
               AH! WHAT'S WITH
               THAT MOUSTACHE?

430
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,431
   HUH? LET ME
    SEE THAT.

431
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,331
   SORRY. THAT'S
EDWARD JAMES OLMOS.

432
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,133
HERE. THIS IS HER.

433
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:19,598
               HEY, NICE ASS.

434
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:22,866
  SORRY. NO, NO. THAT'S
EDWARD JAMES OLMOS' ASS.

435
00:15:22,934 --> 00:15:24,766
I GUESS I DON'T HAVE
   A PHOTO OF HER.

436
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,098
   BUT TRUST ME,
    SHE'S CUTE.

437
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,932
                 WELL, LET'S
                 GO GET HER.

438
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:30,199
         I'M GONNA NEED
         THAT PICTURE OF
        OLMOS' ASS BACK.

439
00:15:30,268 --> 00:15:31,366
              OH, YEAH, RIGHT.

440
00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:34,865
                   MOM, HURRY!

441
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,531
       I CAN'T STAND
        THE SMELL!

442
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,365
    I FOUND THE NOTE!

443
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:41,131
"GO BACK TO THE MINI-MART"?

444
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,965
      WELL, THIS ISN'T
       VERY CREATIVE.

445
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,331
       LET'S GO, KIDS.

446
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,364
                    [Chris]
             MOM, YOU REMEMBER
                 THAT GOLDFISH

447
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:47,965
               WE FLUSHED DOWN
                   THE TOILET?

448
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,099
               HE WASN'T DEAD.

449
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:52,799
         THERE SHE IS.
          THAT'S HER.

450
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,099
   ALL RIGHT, GO ON,
JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED.

451
00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:56,166
                    [Sighs]

452
00:15:56,801 --> 00:15:57,732
               HEY, YOU.

453
00:15:57,801 --> 00:15:59,099
               HI.

454
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,365
       I WAS JUST, UH...

455
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:02,266
      [Animals squawking]

456
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,832
           IN--IN, UH,
          I WAS JUST...

457
00:16:03,901 --> 00:16:06,632
         IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
             AND, UH...

458
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,932
       SO I THOUGHT
        THAT, UH...

459
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,299
         [Dogs barking]

460
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,398
        YOU...

461
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,199
    UH, I'LL, UH...

462
00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:15,498
   THIS IS A BAD TIME.

463
00:16:15,567 --> 00:16:17,665
      MAYBE I'LL JUST
        COME BACK.

464
00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:19,366
       [Animals howling]

465
00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:21,165
             WHO AM I KIDDING?
           I'LL NEVER GET HER.

466
00:16:21,234 --> 00:16:23,332
    NOT WITH THAT
 ATTITUDE. COME ON!

467
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,099
    ROBERT REED GOT
  FLORENCE HENDERSON,

468
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,298
  AND HE WAS ONE OF THEM
TOE-TAPPING BURGERMEISTERS.

469
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,298
        YOU'VE GOTTA FIND A
      WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

470
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:32,265
 SO LONG, PETER.
 I HOPE YOU FIND
   YOUR GIRL.

471
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:36,065
             THANKS, QUAGMIRE.
            HOPE YOU LIVE NEXT
           DOOR TO ME SOMEDAY.

472
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:38,432
   HEY, HEY! DOES
   THIS LOOK LIKE
    A "Q" TO YOU?

473
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:39,665
[Woman screaming]

474
00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:40,732
    HOW ABOUT NOW?

475
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:47,766
          SO, WHERE IS IT
       THAT YOU NEED TO GO,

476
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,498
       MY NEW HONKY FRIEND?

477
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,732
RHODE ISLAND. THAT'S
 NOT TOO FAR, IS IT?

478
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:53,332
                 NOTHING'S TOO
                     FAR AWAY

479
00:16:53,401 --> 00:16:55,799
              FROM MAXINE, THE
               CHEATING QUEEN.

480
00:16:56,401 --> 00:16:57,932
                        WOMEN.

481
00:16:58,001 --> 00:16:59,165
              THAT'S NOT FAIR.

482
00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:00,899
             I'M JUST SPEAKING
                 OUT OF HURT.

483
00:17:05,168 --> 00:17:07,998
           THAT TRUCK'S COMING
          UP ON US AWFUL FAST.

484
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:10,199
       [Car horn honking]

485
00:17:10,268 --> 00:17:12,198
HOLY CRAP! DO YOU
 SEE WHAT I SEE?

486
00:17:12,266 --> 00:17:13,798
              I'M AFRAID I DO!

487
00:17:13,868 --> 00:17:15,698
       WE'RE BEING CHASED
           BY GHOSTS!

488
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,464
 SO, YOU WENT THROUGH
   ALL THIS TROUBLE
JUST TO SEE YOUR GIRL?

489
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:22,498
           I SURE DID. AND I'M
             JUST A FAT IDIOT.

490
00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:24,198
           WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE,
              YOU BIG CHICKEN?

491
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:26,198
   CHICKEN? YOU
  TAKE THAT BACK!

492
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:27,166
                YEAH? MAKE ME!

493
00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:28,899
I DON'T MAKE MONKEYS,
    I TRAIN THEM.

494
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:29,965
                 UGH.

495
00:17:30,034 --> 00:17:31,565
        [Both grunting]

496
00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:34,765
         HOLY CRAP! I'M SORRY.
              DID THAT HURT?

497
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:36,232
NO. BUT THIS WILL!

498
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,832
        AAH! AAH! YOU BASTARD!

499
00:17:37,901 --> 00:17:39,966
        [Both screaming]

500
00:17:40,034 --> 00:17:41,765
          WHAT THE HELL IS
         GOING ON OUT HERE?

501
00:17:41,834 --> 00:17:42,865
      UM...

502
00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:44,966
     ACTUALLY,
  I, UH, I, UH...

503
00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:47,766
       ACTUALLY, HE--HE WANTED
         TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

504
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,265
          AMY, YOU WANT
         TO GO SOMEWHERE
       AND GRAB A COFFEE?

505
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,698
             SURE. I GET
            OFF AT 2:00.

506
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,065
      GREAT! UH, UH, GREAT!

507
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:54,565
       I'LL MEET YOU HERE.

508
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,399
               HEY, HEY,
              YOU DID IT!

509
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:58,999
               ALL RIGHT!
             HEY, WHO KNOWS?

510
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,865
            YOU MIGHT EVEN,
            UH, YOU KNOW...

511
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,932
     I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU.

512
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,065
       INTERCOURSE.

513
00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:10,465
                WHAT ARE YOU
                 DOING HERE?

514
00:18:10,534 --> 00:18:13,132
   LORETTA'S MOM WAS
HANKERING FOR A SNACK,

515
00:18:13,201 --> 00:18:16,199
SO WE HAD TO PICK HER UP
 SOME KIBBLES 'N' BITS.

516
00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:17,331
                   CLEVELAND!

517
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,632
 I MEAN CHEEZITS.

518
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,399
              DID PETER GIVE
            YOU A CLUE FOR ME?

519
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,999
              PETER? HE'S DOWN
                 AT BARRINGTON

520
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,699
                   WITH BRIAN
                 AND QUAGMIRE.

521
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,598
               HE'S GOLFING ON
              OUR ANNIVERSARY?

522
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:28,232
   OH, BOY!

523
00:18:28,301 --> 00:18:30,998
YOU JUST PUT PETER
 IN THE DOGHOUSE.

524
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,432
  WHICH IS WHERE
   YOUR MOTHER--

525
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:33,799
                 DON'T SAY IT!

526
00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:37,132
YOUR MOTHER SMELLS.

527
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,932
            SEE? THIS IS WHY I
        HATE CLOTHES SHOPPING.

528
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:43,999
                I HAVE NO ASS.

529
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:45,366
             I'M MINUS AN ASS.

530
00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,932
       YOU'RE TRYING
     TOO HARD, DEATH.

531
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,498
   SHE'S NOT GONNA CARE
   WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.

532
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,165
     SHE'S JUST GONNA
    BE GLAD TO SEE YOU.

533
00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,199
     THAT'S HOW IT WAS
        WITH LOIS.

534
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:57,332
           [Growling]

535
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,398
         [Screams]

536
00:18:58,467 --> 00:18:59,598
                [Barking]

537
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:00,932
      OH, GOD!
      OH, GOD!

538
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,065
               OH, GOD!

539
00:19:02,134 --> 00:19:03,464
                  [Grunting]

540
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:05,365
              AAH!

541
00:19:07,134 --> 00:19:08,398
HI, MR. PEWTERSCHMIDT.

542
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:10,032
             WHAT THE HELL ARE
               YOU DOING HERE?

543
00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:11,266
  IT'S A LONG
     STORY

544
00:19:11,334 --> 00:19:12,565
WITH SOME TERRIFIC
   PERFORMANCES,

545
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:14,266
   AND A WONDERFUL
SCENE IN A CARNIVAL,

546
00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:15,532
 BUT I'LL CUT
TO THE ENDING.

547
00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:17,032
 I WANT TO
MARRY LOIS!

548
00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:18,966
           [Mr. Pewterschmidt]
          OUT OF THE QUESTION!

549
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,265
              NOW, LISTEN,
                GRIFFIN.

550
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:21,498
              I WANT YOU
             TO TAKE THIS,

551
00:19:21,566 --> 00:19:23,765
            AND STAY AWAY FROM
          MY DAUGHTER FOREVER!

552
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,865
            [Gasps]
          $1 MILLION?

553
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:27,465
               $1 MILLION.

554
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,665
     NO DEAL.

555
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:30,731
LOIS MAY BE WORTH
A MILLION TO YOU,

556
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,364
     BUT TO ME,
  SHE'S WORTHLESS.

557
00:19:32,433 --> 00:19:34,631
           I LOVE HER,
       MR. PEWTERSCHMIDT.

558
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:35,998
              OH, PETER!

559
00:19:38,634 --> 00:19:39,998
     HOLY CRAP!

560
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:43,132
     BACK THEN,
I GAVE UP $1 MILLION
JUST TO BE WITH LOIS.

561
00:19:43,201 --> 00:19:45,098
   NOW I WON'T EVEN
MISS A LOUSY GOLF GAME

562
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:46,999
    TO SPEND OUR
ANNIVERSARY TOGETHER.

563
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:48,565
 NO WONDER SHE'S
 GONNA DUMP ME.

564
00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:50,198
                    OR IS SHE?

565
00:19:50,266 --> 00:19:52,464
           WAIT A MINUTE.
        THAT'S MY REVELATION.

566
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,466
         I GOTTA PAY MORE
       ATTENTION TO MY WIFE!

567
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:55,565
             EUREKA!

568
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:57,265
             NOW, COME ON BACK
           TO THE GOLF COURSE.

569
00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:58,332
              I'VE GOT A DATE.

570
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,766
    DEATH, WAIT.
     WAIT, WAIT.

571
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,565
    BEFORE WE GO,
  I NEED YOU TO DO
 ME ONE MORE FAVOR.

572
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,032
            [Death]
            PETER!

573
00:20:07,101 --> 00:20:08,999
         PETER FRAMPTON!

574
00:20:09,068 --> 00:20:11,198
          OH, NO! GOD,
           PLEASE, NO!

575
00:20:11,267 --> 00:20:13,431
       I'M TOO YOUNG
          TO DIE!

576
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,399
     ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE
    NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AT
   KEITH RICHARDS'S HOUSE?

577
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:17,465
           ALL RIGHT.

578
00:20:17,534 --> 00:20:20,998
      IF YOU WANT TO LIVE,
          COME WITH ME

579
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,299
     AND BRING YOUR GUITAR,

580
00:20:22,367 --> 00:20:24,365
      AND BRING THAT THING
     YOU USE TO MAKES IT GO

581
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,732
        ♪ WAH, WAH-WAH,
        WAH-WAH, WAH ♪

582
00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:29,965
                     WAIT!

583
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:36,798
       DAMN! HOW COULD HE LIE
     TO ME ON OUR ANNIVERSARY?

584
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:38,598
       [Tires screeching]

585
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:44,132
   [Peter Frampton]
     ♪ OOH, BABY,
   I LOVE YOUR WAY ♪

586
00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:50,598
  ♪ I WANNA TELL YOU
   I LOVE YOUR WAY ♪

587
00:20:51,901 --> 00:20:53,132
        ♪ OOH ♪

588
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:58,999
     ♪ I WANNA BE WITH YOU
       NIGHT AND DAY ♪

589
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:01,431
  OH, PETER! OUR SONG!

590
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,999
                     HAPPY
            ANNIVERSARY, LOIS.

591
00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:05,899
     THIS IS THE MOST
       ROMANTIC GIFT

592
00:21:05,968 --> 00:21:07,798
         YOU'VE EVER
          GIVEN ME.

593
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,999
   HOW DID YOU EVER PUT
   ALL OF THIS TOGETHER?

594
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:12,165
     WELL, I HAD
    A LITTLE HELP

595
00:21:12,234 --> 00:21:14,365
              FROM A VERY
            SPECIAL FRIEND.

596
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:18,233
               I LIKE ANIMALS.

597
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,365
     UH-HUH.

598
00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:20,832
                'CAUSE THEY'RE
                  LIKE PEOPLE.

599
00:21:20,901 --> 00:21:22,465
                   JUST LITTLE
                 FURRY PEOPLE.

600
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:26,298
YEAH. UH, HEY, YOU EVER
  GO ON THE INTERNET?

601
00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:28,999
  THEY GOT SOME
COOL STUFF THERE
ON THAT INTERNET.

602
00:21:29,068 --> 00:21:30,431
            OH, YEAH, I BOUGHT
                  THESE SHOES

603
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,932
                FROM A COMPANY
              ON THE INTERNET,

604
00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:33,999
            BECAUSE THEY DON'T
              TEST ON ANIMALS.

605
00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,233
      WOW.

606
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:36,799
     [Sighs]

607
00:21:36,868 --> 00:21:39,032
             YOU KNOW, ANIMALS
               NEVER HAVE WAR.

608
00:21:39,101 --> 00:21:41,233
           WAR IS AN INVENTION
                 OF MANKIND.

609
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,066
 WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

610
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,099
  ANIMALS FIGHT
  ALL THE TIME!

611
00:21:45,168 --> 00:21:46,899
                     NOT WITH
                 NUCLEAR ARMS.

612
00:21:46,968 --> 00:21:48,398
                 YOU CAN'T HUG
                 YOUR CHILDREN

613
00:21:48,467 --> 00:21:49,899
            WITH NUCLEAR ARMS.

614
00:21:52,101 --> 00:21:53,265
CHECK, PLEASE.

615
00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:57,299
     ♪[Theme song playing]

