1 00:00:01,567 --> 00:00:05,065 ♪ IT SEEMS TODAY, THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪ 2 00:00:05,134 --> 00:00:08,198 ♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES AND SEX ON T.V. ♪ 3 00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:11,598 ♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪ 4 00:00:11,667 --> 00:00:14,899 ♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪ 5 00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:18,232 ♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪ 6 00:00:18,301 --> 00:00:21,565 ♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪ 7 00:00:21,634 --> 00:00:23,165 ♪ ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE US ♪ 8 00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:24,965 ♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪ 9 00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:29,865 ♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪ 10 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,232 ON THE WHOLE, 11 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,265 I ENJOY MY JOB AS A PHARMACIST. 12 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,332 IN FACT, MANY OF MY CUSTOMERS 13 00:00:38,401 --> 00:00:39,799 ARE YOUR MOMMIES AND DADDIES. 14 00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:42,199 JIMMY HOPKINS, YOUR MOTHER HAD AWFUL 15 00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:44,465 POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AFTER YOU WERE BORN. 16 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,565 AND DANIELLE, YOUR FATHER HAD 17 00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:50,131 BAD, VERY BAD HEMORRHOIDS THAT STUNG HIM UNMERCIFUL. 18 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,832 OH! THEY WERE AWFUL. 19 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,364 THEY WERE LIKE STINKY LITTLE BALLOONS. 20 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:57,099 [Shudders] AND I GAVE HIM SOME SPECIAL OINTMENT 21 00:00:57,168 --> 00:01:01,865 AND HE HURT SO BAD THAT HE HAD TO APPLY IT IN THE CAR WITH HIS SOCK. 22 00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:04,431 THANK YOU. 23 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:05,831 COOL! I WANT TO BE A PHARMACIST! 24 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,565 AW, YEAH! 25 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:10,631 THANK YOU, MR. GOLDMAN. AND OUR FINAL SPEAKER IS MR. PETER GRIFFIN. 26 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:11,765 YA! 27 00:01:11,834 --> 00:01:14,098 HEY, KIDS! HEY--HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I DO? 28 00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:17,366 I WORK AT A TOY FACTORY AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DO THERE? 29 00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:20,398 I BET YOU'RE JUST ONE OF THOSE LOW-LEVEL ASSEMBLY-LINE GUYS 30 00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:22,865 WHO STAND THERE ALL DAY SCREWING HEADS ON DOLLS. 31 00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:25,665 "OOH, IS IT ON STRAIGHT? I DON'T KNOW." 32 00:01:25,734 --> 00:01:27,632 BOO! 33 00:01:27,701 --> 00:01:28,832 WHY, YOU LITTLE SNOT-NOSED-- 34 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,299 MR. GRIFFIN! 35 00:01:30,368 --> 00:01:32,332 HE PLAYS KICKBALL IN THE PARK AFTER SCHOOL. GET HIM THERE. 36 00:01:32,401 --> 00:01:34,665 SO, DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR MR. GRIFFIN? 37 00:01:34,734 --> 00:01:37,266 YEAH. CAN WE LISTEN TO THE CLAIMS ADJUSTER AGAIN? 38 00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:38,665 [Cheering] 39 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,665 WELCOME BACK TO QUAHOG 5 NEWS. 40 00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,232 AND NOW, HERE'S OLLIE WILLIAMS WITH 41 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,199 THE "BLACCUWEATHER" FORECAST. OLLIE? 42 00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:49,333 IT'S GONNA RAIN! 43 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,299 THANKS OLLIE. AND FINALLY, WE GO LIVE 44 00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:53,232 TO ASIAN REPORTER TRISHA TAKANAWA 45 00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:56,398 INTERVIEWING A GUY FROM THE UPCOMING RENAISSANCE FAIRE. TRISHA? 46 00:01:56,466 --> 00:01:58,066 THANKS, TOM. 47 00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:00,464 SIR, FOR THOSE VIEWERS WHO AREN'T FAMILIAR WITH THE TRADITION, 48 00:02:00,533 --> 00:02:03,066 CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE? 49 00:02:03,135 --> 00:02:05,331 YEA. BUT FIRST, BRIDE OF GENGHIS, 50 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,632 THOU MUST EXPLAINEST TO ME THY VERY PECULIAR ELECTRONIC WAND. 51 00:02:09,701 --> 00:02:11,799 WHOO! 52 00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:14,498 ALL RIGHT, RUPERT, ARE YOU READY TO HEAR OUR MAD LIB? 53 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:15,598 AHEM. 54 00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:18,965 "CINDERELLA HAD 3 WICKED STEP WATERMELONS 55 00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:21,631 "WHO WERE VERY SMELLY TO HER. 56 00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:26,665 "SO, HER FAIRY GOD TOILET TURNED HER PUMPKIN INTO A FANNY 57 00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:28,465 "AND SENT HER OFF TO THE POOP." 58 00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:29,999 [Laughing] 59 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:33,266 OH, MY! HOW RUTHLESSLY ABSURD! 60 00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:36,232 PETER, HOW WAS YOUR BIG PRESENTATION AT CHRIS' CLASS? 61 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,965 IT WAS A HUGE WASTE OF TIME. 62 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:39,631 WELL, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT BAD. 63 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:40,965 OH, IT WAS TERRIBLE. 64 00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:42,998 EVERYONE ELSE THERE HAD SOME BIG, IMPORTANT JOB 65 00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:44,832 AND WAS WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME. 66 00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:47,765 HEY, COME ON, Y-Y-YOU HAVE A--YOU HAVE A GREAT JOB. 67 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,765 YEAH, Y-Y-YOU'RE DOING-- 68 00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:51,932 YOU'RE DOING GOOD. 69 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:53,531 PETER, IF YOU'RE NOT SATISFIED, 70 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,032 THEN BE MORE ASSERTIVE. 71 00:02:55,101 --> 00:02:57,065 INVITE MR. WEED OVER FOR DINNER AND SHOW HIM 72 00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:58,631 WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER THE COMPANY. 73 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,698 YEAH, I GUESS I COULD. I JUST HOPE IT GOES OK. 74 00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,765 WE'VE HAD SOME BAD LUCK WITH DINNER GUESTS. 75 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,732 YOU REMEMBER WHEN MARGOT KIDDER WAS HERE? 76 00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:07,398 AH, WE LOVED YOU IN THE SUPERMAN MOVIES. 77 00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:09,232 YOU WERE JUST WONDERFUL. 78 00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:11,364 [Screaming] 79 00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:18,464 [Screaming] 80 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,531 MR. WEED, I, UH, 81 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,832 WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU'D 82 00:03:24,901 --> 00:03:27,798 LIKE TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE FOR DINNER FRIDAY NIGHT. 83 00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,132 HA! THAT WASN'T SO HARD. 84 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,231 WELL, WHAT TIME? 85 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:31,799 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 7:30, 8:00? 86 00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:33,565 FABULOUS! WHAT SHALL I BRING? 87 00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:37,299 PETER, CALM DOWN. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE. 88 00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:39,532 I HOPE SO. BECAUSE IF I BLOW THIS, I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO 89 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,799 BACK TO MY OLD JOB AT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY. 90 00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:42,831 D... 91 00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:43,831 OT. 92 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,265 [Both] DOT. 93 00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:46,765 B... 94 00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:47,731 ET. 95 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:48,731 BET. 96 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,065 BET. I KNEW THAT. SLOW IT DOWN. 97 00:03:50,134 --> 00:03:50,998 P... 98 00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:51,898 IT. 99 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:52,865 PIT. 100 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,165 PIT. COME ON. IT'S MY FIRST DAY. 101 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,098 F... 102 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,032 AT. 103 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,065 FAT. 104 00:03:57,134 --> 00:03:58,232 OH, THAT'S IT, BUDDY! UGH! 105 00:03:58,301 --> 00:03:59,799 [Both grunting] 106 00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:01,432 [Doorbell rings] 107 00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,032 THAT MUST BE HIM. 108 00:04:03,101 --> 00:04:05,632 OH, GOD! I HOPE THAT THING DOESN'T HAPPEN WHERE I GET NERVOUS 109 00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:07,598 AND I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE. 110 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:08,998 HELLO, PETER. HOW ARE YOU? 111 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,166 [Shouts] FINE! 112 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,132 [Quietly] PLEASE COME IN. 113 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,665 IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU OVER, MR. WEED. 114 00:04:14,734 --> 00:04:16,066 THANK YOU, MRS. GRIFFIN. 115 00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:18,632 I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. 116 00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:21,398 YES WE DO, BUT THE CHILDREN WON'T BE JOINING US FOR DINNER. 117 00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:22,898 IT'S ALMOST THEIR BEDTIME. 118 00:04:22,967 --> 00:04:24,631 [Whistle blowing] 119 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,498 STATE YOUR NAMES. 120 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,498 MEG! 121 00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:30,498 CHRIS! 122 00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:32,132 AND I'M LIESL. 123 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,499 MR. WEED, THE GRIFFIN CHILDREN WOULD LIKE TO SAY GOODNIGHT TO YOU. 124 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,865 ♪[So Long, Farewell playing] 125 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:46,465 ♪ SO LONG, FAREWELL, AU REVOIR, AUF WIEDERSEHEN ♪ 126 00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:50,798 ♪ I'D LIKE TO STAY AND TASTE MY FIRST CHAMPAGNE ♪ 127 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:51,865 YES? 128 00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:52,966 NO. 129 00:04:57,567 --> 00:05:01,632 ♪ SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOOD-BYE ♪ 130 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,832 ♪ I LEAVE AND HEAVE A SIGH AND SAY GOOD-BYE ♪ 131 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:08,399 [Falsetto] ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 132 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,831 ♪ THE SUN ♪ 133 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,365 ♪ HAS GONE ♪ 134 00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:24,698 ♪ TO BED AND SO MUST I ♪ 135 00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,364 ♪ SO LONG ♪ 136 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:30,032 ♪ FAREWELL ♪ 137 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:34,364 ♪ AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOOD-BYE ♪ 138 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,299 ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 139 00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:43,199 ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 140 00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:48,498 ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 141 00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,631 ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 142 00:06:00,134 --> 00:06:01,198 MMM. 143 00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,599 WHO WOULD THINK THAT A WOMAN WITH SUCH BEAUTY 144 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,166 WOULD HAVE THE CULINARY SKILLS OF EMERIL LAGASSE? 145 00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,866 OH, WELL THANK YOU. HA! HA! BAM! 146 00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:10,365 [Laughing] 147 00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:11,765 OH. 148 00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:14,898 AHEM. PETER, DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO MR. WEED? 149 00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:16,398 OH, YEAH. 150 00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:19,199 UM, MR. WEED, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE GUYS AT WORK SAY. 151 00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:21,465 I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE AN EFFEMINATE WEIRDO. 152 00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:23,965 UH, UH, SO, UH, WHAT--WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS WEED? 153 00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,499 THEY GAVE IT TO MY GRANDFATHER ON ELLIS ISLAND. 154 00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:29,099 OUR ORIGINAL NAME WAS BERMUDA GRASS. 155 00:06:29,168 --> 00:06:32,099 PETER, BEING HERE WITH YOUR WONDERFUL FAMILY, 156 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:33,532 YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME 157 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,232 AND YOUR FUNNY, TALKING DOG, 158 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,999 WELL, I'M IMPRESSED. 159 00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,932 IN FACT, STARTING MONDAY, I WOULD LIKE TO 160 00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,698 PROMOTE YOU TO HEAD OF TOY DEVELOPMENT. 161 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,698 [Choking] 162 00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:44,065 HOLY CRAP! AW, THANKS, MR. WEED! 163 00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:45,732 YOU WON'T BE SORRY. 164 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,132 BRIAN, QUIT IT. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME HERE. 165 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,499 PETER, BRIAN'S CHOKING! 166 00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,665 DO THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER QUICK! 167 00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,432 [Choking] 168 00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:59,032 HE'S DEAD. 169 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,032 [Both gasp] 170 00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:01,532 [Screaming] 171 00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:04,398 I FORGOT MY PURSE. 172 00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:09,699 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT PANIC. 173 00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:10,965 NOBODY EVEN KNOWS ABOUT THIS YET. 174 00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:11,965 [Knocking] 175 00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:13,665 POLICE! RANDOM DEAD-BODY SEARCH! 176 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,265 OH, MY GOD, LOIS! STALL THEM! 177 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,498 PETER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 178 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,465 JUST--JUST STALL THEM, LOIS! 179 00:07:22,466 --> 00:07:23,965 HA! HA! GOT YA! 180 00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:26,032 IT'S JUST ME, DEATH. I'M HERE FOR THE BODY. 181 00:07:26,101 --> 00:07:28,865 AH, PETER, IT'S OK. IT'S JUST DEATH. 182 00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,298 OH, THANK GOD! 183 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,598 UH, HEY, DID SOMEONE CHOKE ON A ROLL IN HERE? 184 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,132 OH NO, NO, NO, NO. I--I SPIT IT UP. 185 00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:35,898 OH. 186 00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:39,099 RECAPPING OUR TOP STORY. DOREEN, I LOST YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 187 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,665 WE MET AT THE SKY LOUNGE LAST NIGHT. PLEASE CALL ME. 188 00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:44,232 IN OTHER NEWS, TOY INDUSTRIALIST JONATHAN WEED 189 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,665 WAS FOUND DEAD LAST NIGHT IN THE HOME OF AN EMPLOYEE 190 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,998 WHO CLAIMS WEED CHOKED ON A DINNER ROLL. 191 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:51,232 NO CHARGES WILL BE FILED AGAINST THE EMPLOYEE 192 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,498 BUT THE DINNER ROLL HAS BEEN TAKEN INTO POLICE CUSTODY. 193 00:08:00,368 --> 00:08:02,565 I'D DO HER. DO HER. 194 00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:04,065 WOULDN'T DO HER. 195 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:06,066 WHO HASN'T DONE HER? DO HER. 196 00:08:06,134 --> 00:08:08,099 LOSE THE PIGTAILS AND WE'LL TALK. 197 00:08:08,168 --> 00:08:09,299 DO HER. DO HER. 198 00:08:09,368 --> 00:08:11,565 AND NOW, THE LAST MAN TO SEE JONATHAN WEED 199 00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:14,731 ALIVE HAS OFFERED TO SAY A FEW WORDS. 200 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,166 GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYONE. 201 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:19,132 AS YOU KNOW, WE OF THE CHRISTIAN FAITH BELIEVE THAT 202 00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,065 JESUS IS NOT REALLY DEAD, 203 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,065 BUT THAT HE MUST LET THE WORLD THINK THAT HE IS DEAD 204 00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:26,431 UNTIL HE CAN FIND A WAY TO CONTROL 205 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,798 THE RAGING SPIRIT THAT DWELLS WITHIN HIM. 206 00:08:29,867 --> 00:08:32,932 ♪ DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH ♪ 207 00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,965 ANYWAY, RIGHT BEFORE HE DIED, UH, MR. WEED 208 00:08:38,034 --> 00:08:40,132 PROMOTED ME TO HEAD OF TOY DEVELOPMENT. 209 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,332 AND I'VE BROUGHT MY ATTORNEY WHO CONFIRMS 210 00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:44,465 THAT THIS CONSTITUTES A VERBAL CONTRACT. 211 00:08:44,534 --> 00:08:47,798 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SAUL? YES, SIR. VERBAL CONTRACT. THANK YOU. 212 00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:52,865 GLAD TO SEE YOU ALL FOUND YOUR WAY OVER FROM THE CEMETERY. 213 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,966 I'M LEONARD HALE, MR. WEED'S LAWYER. 214 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,698 WE FOUND THIS TAPE AMONG MR. WEED'S PERSONAL EFFECTS 215 00:08:57,767 --> 00:09:01,264 WITH INSTRUCTIONS THAT IT BE SCREENED IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING HIS FUNERAL. 216 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,599 ENJOY. 217 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,399 [Man] GOOD MORNING. CAMERA TIME. 218 00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:06,465 TURN IT OFF. I DON'T HAVE MY FACE ON YET. I'M UGLY. 219 00:09:06,534 --> 00:09:09,432 YOU WANT TO TELL US A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE MAKING THERE? 220 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,598 I WILL TELL YOU. IT'S JUST A COUPLE OF EGGS 221 00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,765 WITH THE PEPPERS LEFTOVER FROM LAST NIGHT. 222 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:15,398 MMM! [Laughing] 223 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:18,231 YES. OK NOW, PLAYTIME IS OVER. TURN IT OFF, MONKEY. OK? 224 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,465 AHEM. 225 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,799 [Fast-forwarding] 226 00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:23,132 HELLO, FRIENDS. IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, 227 00:09:23,201 --> 00:09:25,432 I'M DEAD AND I BET YOU'RE PRETTY BUMMED. 228 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,798 BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS. 229 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,832 YEAH? 230 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,565 THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY TOY FACTORY 231 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:31,431 SHALL BE TORN DOWN TO MAKE WAY FOR 232 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,365 THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY TERMINAL DISEASE INSTITUTE. 233 00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:35,398 WHAT? 234 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,632 THE DEMOLITION WILL BEGIN IN--NOW. 235 00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:39,098 [All screaming] 236 00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:44,832 OK, WE'VE GOT YOUR TYPING TEST HERE 237 00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,998 AND ALL THE PERTINENT DATA ABOUT YOUR, UM, 238 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:51,965 UM, YOU KNOW, YOUR BACKGROUND, AND--AND UM, 239 00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:53,532 UH, SKILLS. 240 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,798 AND... 241 00:09:55,968 --> 00:09:56,965 AND? 242 00:09:57,034 --> 00:09:58,698 YOU KNOW, I GOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 243 00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,565 I-I ONLY HAVE ANOTHER WEEK AND A HALF HERE 244 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,065 AND I--I HAVE COMPLETELY CHECKED OUT. 245 00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:04,332 OH. 246 00:10:04,401 --> 00:10:05,499 YEAH. 247 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,832 WELL, WHAT SHOULD I DO? 248 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,932 UM, 249 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,498 CHEF? 250 00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,932 OH, SORRY, WE'RE OUT OF TOWELS. UH, LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU, SIR. 251 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,265 [Blowing] 252 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,265 WHAT? I'M SUPPOSED TO PAY $2 FOR STICKERS 253 00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:46,432 'CAUSE THIS GUY CAN'T HEAR? COME ON! 254 00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:49,364 HEY, I MIGHT BE DEAF BUT I HAVE FEELINGS! 255 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,999 OH, UH, I MEAN, 256 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,265 WHAT? 257 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,199 HAS DAD FOUND A PERMANENT JOB YET? 258 00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:57,899 MEG, YOUR FATHER'S GOING THROUGH A BIT OF A CAREER TRANSITION. 259 00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,632 HE'S JUST SAMPLING A FEW THINGS, 260 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,399 SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING THAT FITS HIM JUST RIGHT. 261 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:03,398 [Gasps] 262 00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:04,398 [Tires screech] 263 00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,065 WELL, CLEARLY IT'S NOT THAT TUBE TOP. 264 00:11:06,134 --> 00:11:08,299 HEY, LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME, SWEET CHEEKS? 265 00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,032 OH, MY GOD! 266 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,665 PETER, GET IN THE CAR! 267 00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:14,565 OK, BUT IT'LL COST YOU. WHAT DO YOU WANT? A CLEVELAND STEAMER? 268 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,198 I SAID GET IN THE CAR! WHAT'S A CLEVELAND STEAMER? 269 00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,332 IT MEANS THAT HE'LL-- 270 00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:19,865 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! BE COOL. BE COOL. 271 00:11:19,934 --> 00:11:21,465 YES. YOU GO TO MAPLE STREET, 272 00:11:21,534 --> 00:11:24,898 AND THEN TAKE A LEFT, AND THEN, UH, YOU GO, UH... 273 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,398 OK, SO YOU WANT TO PARTY OR WHAT? 274 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:27,665 GET IN THIS CAR RIGHT NOW! 275 00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:32,498 IT'S EERIE, ISN'T IT? 276 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,133 LIKE LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE. 277 00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:37,665 [Man] FORGETFUL FREDDY WAS SO FORGETFUL... 278 00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:39,632 [Audience] HOW FORGETFUL WAS HE? 279 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,431 HE WAS SO FORGETFUL, WHENEVER HE TRIED 280 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,165 TO REMEMBER SOMEONE'S NAME 281 00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:45,132 HE DREW A BLANK. 282 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,632 OH, GOD! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. 283 00:11:49,701 --> 00:11:52,465 IF I HADN'T PUSHED YOU SO HARD TO INVITE MR. WEED TO DINNER, 284 00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:54,966 HE'D STILL BE ALIVE AND YOU'D STILL HAVE YOUR JOB. 285 00:11:55,034 --> 00:11:56,799 DON'T WORRY, LOIS. WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS. 286 00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,632 WE JUST HAVE TO SCRIMP A LITTLE, THAT'S ALL. 287 00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,732 YOU KNOW, SELL SOME STUFF WE DON'T REALLY NEED. 288 00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,365 THIS'LL BRING IN A COUPLE OF BUCKS. 289 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:04,065 PETER, PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME. 290 00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:05,431 WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, 291 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,731 YOU ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT YOUR ONE DREAM JOB. 292 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,332 REMEMBER? 293 00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:12,099 AND YOU PUT THAT DREAM ASIDE IN ORDER TO PROVIDE FOR THIS FAMILY. 294 00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,498 YEAH? 295 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,798 WELL, I'VE SAVED SOME MONEY FROM TEACHING PIANO. 296 00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:19,065 AND I SAY THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME FOR YOU TO PURSUE THAT DREAM. 297 00:12:19,134 --> 00:12:20,364 REALLY? YES! 298 00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:22,498 WOW, YOU KNOW, SINCE MONEY'S GETTING TIGHT, 299 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,565 I WAS GONNA SUGGEST THAT WE EAT THE KIDS. 300 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,498 YOU KNOW, LIKE--LIKE JOKINGLY AT FIRST, 301 00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,166 BUT THEN I WAS GONNA GAUGE YOUR REACTION 302 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,331 AND--AND IF YOU WERE COOL WITH IT, THEN, UH, YOU KNOW, 303 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,499 WE WOULD GO FROM THERE. BUT THIS IS A MUCH BETTER IDEA. 304 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:35,531 I'M GOING TO DO IT, LOIS. I'M GONNA REALIZE MY DREAM! 305 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,632 I AM GONNA BE A RENAISSANCE FAIRE JOUSTER! 306 00:12:38,701 --> 00:12:40,032 OH, PETER! 307 00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:42,431 [Screaming] 308 00:12:46,435 --> 00:12:47,832 [Lois] OH! THIS IS SO EXCITING! 309 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,932 MY LITTLE JOUSTER'S FIRST DAY. 310 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:50,966 HERE'S YOUR LUNCH. 311 00:12:51,034 --> 00:12:52,066 THANKS, HONEY. 312 00:12:52,134 --> 00:12:54,032 OH, EGG SALAD? 313 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,365 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 314 00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:56,665 I'LL TRY. 315 00:12:59,034 --> 00:12:59,965 HEY, MORT. 316 00:13:00,034 --> 00:13:01,632 OH, GOD! DON'T HURT ME! 317 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,265 OH, HI, PETER. 318 00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:04,665 HEY, YOU GONNA BE A JOUSTER, TOO? 319 00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:07,765 YES. I'M TRYING TO OVERCOME MY FEAR OF SWORDS 320 00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:09,998 BECAUSE A MAN IN A PIRATE SUIT STABBED ME 321 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,498 IN THE EAR WHEN I WAS 5, AND THEN AGAIN WHEN I WAS 30. 322 00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:15,032 WHAT ABOUT YOU? THE SAME? 323 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:18,866 NAW, NOT REALLY. IT KINDA ALL GOES BACK TO WHEN I WAS 18. 324 00:13:18,934 --> 00:13:21,032 I WAS GOING THROUGH THAT REBELLIOUS PHASE 325 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,798 AND, UH, I WAS HANGING OUT WITH A BAD CROWD. 326 00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:26,365 HERE, PETER. TRY ONE OF THESE. 327 00:13:27,134 --> 00:13:28,199 WHAT IS IT? 328 00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:30,099 IT'S A CHEESEBURGER. 329 00:13:30,168 --> 00:13:32,498 [Laughing] 330 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,765 OF COURSE, NOW I KNOW IT WASN'T A CHEESEBURGER 331 00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:38,366 BUT AT THAT TIME, I WAS READY TO BELIEVE ANYTHING. 332 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,732 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON. 333 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:43,532 I WANDERED AROUND FOR HOURS AND SOMEHOW 334 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,231 ENDED UP AT THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE. 335 00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,898 I CAN FLY! 336 00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,598 OH, MY GOD! 337 00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:49,665 AHH! 338 00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:52,464 UGH! 339 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,965 I WAS SAVED BY THE ONE AND ONLY BLACK KNIGHT 340 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,098 OF THE QUAHOG RENAISSANCE FAIRE. 341 00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,465 A WORD OF ADVICE. THE PATH TO KNIGHTHOOD 342 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,298 IS PAVED WITH STRENGTH AND NOBILITY 343 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:04,098 NOT L.S.D. AND SIDEBURNS. 344 00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:06,965 AND FROM THAT MOMENT ON, I KNEW SOMEDAY 345 00:14:07,034 --> 00:14:09,899 I WANTED TO BE A KNIGHT LIKE HIM. 346 00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:11,598 AH, MERCY! 347 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,199 I WAS ONCE ADDICTED TO ANTIHISTAMINES. 348 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:17,165 I TOOK SO MANY I THOUGHT I WAS MR. PEANUT. 349 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,364 YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT STORY, TOO. 350 00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:22,465 SO, YOU ALL THINK YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE JOUSTERS! 351 00:14:22,533 --> 00:14:24,665 WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA JOUST, YOU GOT TO WANT IT! 352 00:14:24,734 --> 00:14:26,366 LET ME HEAR YOUR WAR CRY! 353 00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:27,932 [Moaning] 354 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,232 IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT, YOU PILE OF CRAP? 355 00:14:30,301 --> 00:14:31,632 YES. 356 00:14:31,701 --> 00:14:34,331 FROM AN EARLY AGE, MY PARENTS DISCOURAGED LOUD NOISES! 357 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,732 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU'RE A CANDY-ASS MAGGOT! 358 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:37,665 [Laughing] 359 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:39,065 YOU FIND SOMETHING FUNNY, MAGGOT? 360 00:14:39,134 --> 00:14:40,131 SIR, NO, SIR! 361 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,066 YOU LOVE THE MIDDLE AGES, DON'T YOU? 362 00:14:42,135 --> 00:14:43,132 SIR, YES, SIR! 363 00:14:43,201 --> 00:14:45,231 THE CONCEPT OF A GEOCENTRIC UNIVERSE 364 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,299 GETS YOU SEXUALLY EXCITED, DOESN'T IT? 365 00:14:47,368 --> 00:14:48,499 SIR, YES, SIR! 366 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,632 YOU WANT TO MAKE 16TH CENTURY MATHEMATICIAN 367 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,032 JOHANNES KEPLER YOUR BITCH, DON'T YOU? 368 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,631 SIR, YES, SIR! 369 00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:56,264 WELCOME, APPRENTICES. 370 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,932 [Gasps] IT'S HIM. 371 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:01,465 LOOK ALIVE, LADIES. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE THE BEST OF THE BEST, 372 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,798 THE BLACK KNIGHT HIMSELF! 373 00:15:03,867 --> 00:15:07,165 AND THIS IS HIS TROPHY WENCH, MAID MADELEINE! 374 00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,298 [Dings] 375 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,065 [Dings] 376 00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:11,365 [Dings] 377 00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:12,365 [Dings] 378 00:15:14,634 --> 00:15:15,632 DING. 379 00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,698 UH, EXCUSE ME, UH, MR. BLACK KNIGHT? 380 00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:22,932 I'M BUSY. 381 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,966 OH, WELL I-I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU. 382 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:27,698 I-I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER, BUT, UH, WHEN I WAS A KID 383 00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,898 YOU HELPED ME GET MY LIFE BACK ON THE RIGHT PATH. 384 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:30,932 AHH! 385 00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:33,299 DAMN IT. LOOK, I'M BUSY, ALL RIGHT? 386 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,932 OH, OK. I'LL COME BACK LATER. 387 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,465 DAMN ROOKIES. 388 00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:39,366 ARE ALL THE OTHER MEN OUT OF THE SHOWER YET? 389 00:15:42,434 --> 00:15:44,098 HEY, YOU, PORKER. 390 00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,399 YES, I'M CALLING YOU A PORKER AND THERE'S NOTHING 391 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,199 YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE I'M PROTECTED 392 00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:50,599 BY MY IMPENETRABLE CEREAL-BOX FORT. 393 00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,199 [Laughing] 394 00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:53,699 HEY, YOU, DRUNKIE. 395 00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:55,999 YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I'M CALLING YOU DRUNKIE 396 00:15:56,068 --> 00:15:57,999 AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE I'M-- 397 00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:58,998 AHH! 398 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:00,966 AH, THE TOAST IS READY. 399 00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:02,199 [Peter] I'LL GET IT, LOIS. 400 00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:07,465 THERE YOU GO. 401 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,499 UH, PETER, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BRING YOUR LANCE TO THE TABLE. 402 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:13,265 LOIS, IF I'M GONNA GET GOOD ENOUGH TO IMPRESS THE BLACK KNIGHT, 403 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,165 MY LANCE MUST BE WITH ME AT ALL TIMES. 404 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:18,465 OH, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE SO PROUD WHEN YOU SEE ME OUT ON THAT FIELD. 405 00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,799 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I GOTTA GO PRACTICE. 406 00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:21,899 [Screaming] 407 00:16:21,968 --> 00:16:24,732 OH, MY GOD, DAD! MY EARRING! DAD, STOP! 408 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,165 [Screaming] 409 00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:29,932 UH, YEAH, 2 MUTTON JOINTS, PLEASE. 410 00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:32,364 OH! THOU WISHES TO FEAST ON THE APPENDAGE 411 00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:33,899 OF A HUMBLE OVINE. 412 00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:36,099 LISTEN, YOU FREAK. WE DON'T ALL WATCH FRASIER, OK? 413 00:16:36,168 --> 00:16:38,332 NOW GIVE ME 2 MUTTON JOINTS. 414 00:16:39,134 --> 00:16:40,465 THANK YOU. 415 00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:56,698 'TIS A GLORIOUS AFTERNOON. WOULDST THOU NOT AGREE? 416 00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:59,732 UH--UH, YEA, KIND SHREW. 417 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:03,099 UH, I BEFORE THEE... 418 00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:05,099 EXCEPT AFTER "C." 419 00:17:05,168 --> 00:17:08,898 WOULDST THOU TAKE A GANDER UNDERNEATH MY FROCK? 420 00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:11,499 UH, SURE, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT. 421 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,265 [Squawking] 422 00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,165 THERE YOU GO. 423 00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:18,732 JEEZ, FRICKIN' PERVERTS. 424 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,465 MADELEINE, GO WAIT IN THE HYUNDAI! 425 00:17:21,534 --> 00:17:23,398 WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRL? 426 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,099 HUH? OH! OH, JEEZ! SHE WALKS OVER HERE 427 00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:26,898 AND ASKS ME TO PUT A BIRD IN HER PANTIES! 428 00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:28,665 I'M STANDING HERE GOING, "WHAT THE HELL." 429 00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:30,564 OH, GOD! PETER, PLAY DEAD! 430 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,598 CURL UP IN AN ASS BALL OR SOMETHING! 431 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,665 HA! WH-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, B.K.? 432 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,632 I DON'T LIKE YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE, 433 00:17:36,701 --> 00:17:38,832 AND I DON'T LIKE YOU HANGING AROUND MY GIRL! 434 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,298 I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN! 435 00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:42,865 OH. 436 00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:45,065 OK, SO WE--BUT WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER OUTSIDE THE FAIRE, RIGHT? 437 00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:47,299 I MEAN, I-I'M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES HERE. 438 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,665 IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU. 439 00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:51,398 OK, THAT'S MUCH CLEARER. 440 00:17:52,368 --> 00:17:55,466 OH, GOD! I THINK I JUST MISCARRIED! 441 00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,264 PETER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 442 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,765 I SPENT HOURS SOLDERING THAT COSTUME FOR YOU. 443 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,365 I DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE, LOIS. I QUIT THE TEAM. 444 00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:06,698 QUIT THE TEAM? 445 00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,865 BUT YOU CAN'T QUIT JOUSTING. THE BIG MEET 446 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,299 IS TODAY, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE-- 447 00:18:10,368 --> 00:18:12,532 D-D-DID YOU JUST SAY "BIG MEET"? 448 00:18:12,601 --> 00:18:13,765 [Laughing] 449 00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:15,366 OH, MY GOD! I DID. 450 00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:17,832 [Both laughing] 451 00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:19,365 OH, WE ALMOST MISSED THAT ONE. 452 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:20,865 I KNOW. THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE. 453 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,532 BUT I'M BEING SERIOUS HERE, PETER. 454 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,099 WE WERE ALL SET TO COME SEE YOU JOUST TODAY. 455 00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:28,166 YOU WERE SO EXCITED TO BE ON THE SAME FIELD AS THE BLACK KNIGHT. 456 00:18:28,234 --> 00:18:30,698 I'M GONNA BE WATCHING IT FROM THE STANDS, LOIS, 457 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,598 BECAUSE THE BLACK KNIGHT IS JUST A BIG JERK! 458 00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,832 JUST LIKE THAT GUY WHO FIXED OUR VACUUM. 459 00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:37,765 THERE YOU GO, ALL FIXED. HA! 460 00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:40,631 TURNS OUT A HALF-EATEN MEATBALL WAS CLOGGING UP THE INTAKE. 461 00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:41,765 OH. 462 00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:43,099 WELL, DID YOU SAVE IT? 463 00:18:43,168 --> 00:18:44,331 UH, NO. 464 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,731 YOU BASTARD. 465 00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,066 WELL, IT'S AN EXCITING DAY FOR ALL 466 00:18:52,134 --> 00:18:53,898 HERE AT THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE JOUSTING MEET. 467 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,098 WOULDN'T YOU SAY, TOM? 468 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,966 DIANE, I'D SAY IT WAS PERFECT IF YOU WEREN'T 469 00:18:57,034 --> 00:18:59,032 REMINDING US ALL OF OUR GRANDMOTHERS' CLEAVAGE. 470 00:18:59,101 --> 00:19:01,165 NOW, LET'S GO LIVE TO THE FIELD WHERE THE BLACK KNIGHT 471 00:19:01,234 --> 00:19:04,299 IS PREPARING TO CHALLENGE HIS NEXT OPPONENT. 472 00:19:10,368 --> 00:19:11,732 [Cheering] 473 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,665 ♪[Chanting] 474 00:19:15,934 --> 00:19:17,066 [All] HEY! 475 00:19:17,134 --> 00:19:18,665 ♪[Chanting] 476 00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:21,932 HEY! 477 00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:24,632 HEY! 478 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,665 HOW'RE YOU DOING THERE, BIG GUY? 479 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,698 YOU HOLDING UP ALL RIGHT? 480 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:32,631 YOU WANT A SODA? 481 00:19:33,435 --> 00:19:34,433 HMM? 482 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,098 OH, SCREW IT. I TRIED. 483 00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:38,598 THE BLACK KNIGHT'S NEXT CHALLENGER 484 00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:40,498 WILL BE SIR MORT GOLDMAN. 485 00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:41,565 OH! OH! 486 00:19:41,634 --> 00:19:42,632 UGH! 487 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,298 [Mort] OH, GOD! I FORFEIT! 488 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:53,498 WELL, THAT'S IT, FOLKS. 489 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,065 [Tom] IT LOOKS LIKE THE BLACK KNIGHT 490 00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,432 IS OUT OF CHALLENGERS AND IS ONCE AGAIN UNDEFEATED. 491 00:19:57,501 --> 00:19:59,832 HEY, WHAT'S YOUR FAT ASS DOING HERE? 492 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,166 HE'S MY ONLY MEANS OF CONVEYANCE. 493 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,266 BUT I GUESS I DO SPOIL HIM. 494 00:20:04,335 --> 00:20:07,498 CLEARLY YOU DO. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, GRIFFIN? 495 00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,798 I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SHOW YOUR FACE HERE AGAIN! 496 00:20:09,867 --> 00:20:12,331 HEY, WE'RE JUST WATCHING, ALL RIGHT. I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE. 497 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,132 OH, YOU'VE GOT TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T BEAT IT. 498 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,098 LISTEN, BUDDY-- 499 00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:16,798 I SAID GET LOST! 500 00:20:18,201 --> 00:20:19,266 WHERE'S HE GOING? 501 00:20:19,335 --> 00:20:20,232 DAD! 502 00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:21,765 LET HIM GO, KIDS. 503 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,832 YOU SEE THAT, KIDS? YOUR FATHER IS NOTHING BUT A FIZZLE! 504 00:20:24,901 --> 00:20:28,132 NOBODY CALLS ME A FIZZLE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! 505 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,165 EXCEPT THAT ONE GUY WHO CALLED ME A FIZZLE 506 00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:34,233 AND THEN RAN OFF. HE GOT AWAY WITH IT. 507 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:37,165 BUT MOST PEOPLE WHO CALL ME A FIZZLE DON'T GET AWAY WITH IT. 508 00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:40,965 WELL, ACTUALLY, THAT GUY WHO DID WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER CALLED ME A FIZZLE. 509 00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:42,264 AFTER TODAY, 510 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:44,298 ONLY HALF THE PEOPLE WHO EVER CALLED ME 511 00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:46,299 A FIZZLE WILL HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT. 512 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:49,032 IT APPEARS A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ENTERED THE FIELD. 513 00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:52,133 THE CROWD HAS FALLEN DEATHLY ILL-- SILENT. SORRY. 514 00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:08,865 OH, MY GOD! I'M GONNA DIE! 515 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,232 OH, UH, UH, TO THE OWNER OF A YELLOW HYUNDAI-- 516 00:21:11,301 --> 00:21:12,565 YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED. 517 00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:14,166 WHAT? 518 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,265 [Crowd cheering] 519 00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:16,498 I WON! 520 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,165 OH, PETER, THAT WAS AMAZING. 521 00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:21,598 YOU WERE SO BRAVE. 522 00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:23,266 NICE GOING, DAD. 523 00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:25,632 OH, BOY! THAT WAS LUCKY ABOUT THE CAR, HUH? 524 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:30,298 TAKE THAT, YOU BASTARD! NOBODY MAKES A FOOL OUT OF MORT GOLDMAN! 525 00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:32,332 SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE, MAGGOT! 526 00:21:32,401 --> 00:21:35,565 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO COME ON THE ROAD WITH US AS OUR LEAD JOUSTER? 527 00:21:35,633 --> 00:21:37,265 THANKS, BUT NO THANKS, COACH. 528 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:38,698 I'VE LIVED MY DREAM. 529 00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:42,066 AND BESIDES, MY LIFE IS HERE WITH MY FAMILY. 530 00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,798 BUT, MOM, WHAT'S DAD GONNA DO FOR A JOB? 531 00:21:44,867 --> 00:21:46,365 OH, IT'LL BE OK, CHRIS. 532 00:21:46,434 --> 00:21:48,432 REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF THE HONEYMOONERS 533 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,598 WHEN RALPH LOST HIS JOB BUT AT THE END OF THE SHOW HE DIDN'T GET IT BACK? 534 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:52,932 [Peter] OH, YEAH. WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT? 535 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,599 THAT BUGGED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. 536 00:21:56,634 --> 00:21:58,732 ♪[Theme music playing]