1
00:00:01,567 --> 00:00:04,699
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,768 --> 00:00:08,298
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:11,766
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:14,999
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
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♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:18,301 --> 00:00:21,665
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:23,199
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:24,932
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:29,731
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
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[Sighs]
11
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,431
PETER, THIS IS
RIDICULOUS.
12
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I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET
ABOUT LOSING YOUR JOB,
13
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,365
BUT YOU'VE BEEN
SITTING ON THAT
COUCH FOR 2 WEEKS.
14
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:41,832
I HAVE NOT, LOIS.
15
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HE'S RIGHT. IT'S ACTUALLY
BEEN MORE LIKE, UH...
16
00:00:43,901 --> 00:00:45,565
[Grunts]
YEAH. 13 DAYS.
17
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:48,398
WELL, YOU AT LEAST HAVE TO
DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN
SITTING THERE EATING.
18
00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,632
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT. BRIAN,
LET'S GO FOR A WALK.
19
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[Beeping]
20
00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:02,765
[Crying]
21
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,865
MEG, SWEETHEART
WHAT'S WRONG?
22
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,765
MY LIFE. THAT'S
WHAT'S WRONG.
23
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,498
I WAS TOTALLY HUMILIATED
AT SCHOOL TODAY.
24
00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:12,366
OK, WE'RE GONNA
DO A LITTLE INFORMAL
SURVEY HERE, KIDS.
25
00:01:12,434 --> 00:01:14,799
WOULD THOSE OF
YOU GOING AWAY
FOR SPRING BREAK
26
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,366
PLEASE MOVE TO THE
LEFT OF THE ROOM?
27
00:01:18,734 --> 00:01:20,465
[Speaking Spanish]
28
00:01:25,034 --> 00:01:26,766
OH, MEG, WHAT DO
THOSE KIDS KNOW?
29
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,532
THEY KNOW HOW TO
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
30
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,799
SO DO WE. I'LL
TELL YOU WHAT.
31
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,464
HOW ABOUT YOU AND I
HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE
SPRING BREAK?
32
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WE'LL GO TO THAT FANCY
NEW SPA THAT JUST OPENED
UP IN WARWICK.
33
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MASSAGES AND FACIALS.
AH! IT'LL BE GREAT.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
34
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,932
WELL, I GUESS IT
COULDN'T BE WORSE
THAN LAST YEAR
35
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:44,932
WHEN WE ALL WENT
TO SEA WORLD.
36
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[Laughing]
37
00:01:49,334 --> 00:01:51,832
AND HOW LONG HAS
THIS BEEN GOING ON?
38
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[Sighs]
YOU KNOW,
LOIS IS RIGHT.
39
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,765
I'VE BEEN OUT OF
WORK TOO LONG.
40
00:01:57,833 --> 00:02:00,331
WELL. I--I THINK YOU
SHOULD FIND SOMETHING
YOU REALLY ENJOY DOING.
41
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,099
TAKE THOSE GUYS OUT
THERE, FOR EXAMPLE.
42
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:03,331
WHERE?
43
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,099
OH, YEAH. NOW,
THAT'S A JOB.
44
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:10,231
FRESH SEA AIR,
WORKING OUTSIDE.
45
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,565
THAT'S HOW A REAL NEW
ENGLAND MAN MAKES A LIVING.
46
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,765
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S
SOMETHING TO THINK
ABOUT, PETER.
47
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,132
WHAT'S THAT,
DADDY?
48
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,765
WELL, THAT'S MERCURY,
JAKE. THE PLANET
CLOSEST TO THE SUN.
49
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,331
WHAT IT'S DOING DOWN
HERE BY THE WHARF,
I HAVEN'T THE FOGGIEST.
50
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,998
BUT WE SHOULD
PROBABLY ASK
A SCIENTIST--
51
00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,465
I'M A GUY,
YOU JACKASS!
52
00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:28,364
AH, YEAH, THAT
FEELS GOOD.
53
00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:30,598
CHRIS, DON'T
FORGET TO MIST
UNDER HIS CHINS.
54
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,699
[Gasps]
OH.
55
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:34,698
OH, BOY, LOIS! IT'S A
REAL MESS DOWN THERE.
56
00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,765
I--I'M AFRAID I NOT GOING
TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS
57
00:02:36,834 --> 00:02:38,232
IN THE TIME I
QUOTED YOU EARLIER.
58
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:39,932
CHRIS, SHUT
THE HOSE OFF
FOR A SECOND.
59
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:42,032
EVERYBODY, I HAVE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
60
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,365
I AM GONNA DROP
THIS WEIGHT AND
REJOIN THE WORKFORCE.
61
00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:48,299
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME
A PROFESSIONAL FISHERMAN.
62
00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,799
WHAT? WHY
A FISHERMAN?
63
00:02:49,867 --> 00:02:51,266
IT MAKES PERFECT
SENSE, LOIS.
64
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:53,798
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME
I'VE SPENT ON THE OCEAN.
65
00:02:53,867 --> 00:02:55,532
WILSON!
66
00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:57,766
WHAT ARE
WE GONNA DO NOW?
67
00:02:58,334 --> 00:02:59,599
WILSON!
68
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,765
WILSON!
69
00:03:01,834 --> 00:03:04,232
MY NAME IS VOIT,
DUMB ASS.
70
00:03:04,301 --> 00:03:07,999
HELLO, DOREEN? YEAH,
UH, I'M STILL OVER
AT THE GRIFFIN JOB, UM,
71
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:10,131
LISTEN, TELL WALTER
I'M NOT GOING
TO BE ABLE
72
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,365
TO MAKE IT TO
THE CONSTRUCTION
SITE. SO, UM,
73
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:16,065
I DON'T KNOW. HAVE
HIM SEND FRANK, OR
GLEN, OR HARELIP STEVE.
74
00:03:16,134 --> 00:03:18,364
I KNOW, IT CREEPS
ME OUT, TOO.
75
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,532
SO YOU THINK I
CAN FIND A BOAT
HERE, HUH, JOE?
76
00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:24,065
OH, YEAH. YOU
WOULDN'T BELIEVE
77
00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:25,932
WHAT WE CONFISCATE
FROM THESE CROOKS.
78
00:03:26,001 --> 00:03:28,899
WELCOME. WE OPEN
TODAY'S BIDDING WITH
THIS PAIR OF PANTIES
79
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,332
CONFISCATED
FROM A PROSTITUTE.
80
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,398
$50!
81
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,065
SHE HAD 9 S.T.D'S.
82
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:34,798
$45.
83
00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:37,231
AND WHEN WE CAUGHT
HER, SHE WET HERSELF.
84
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,698
$50.
85
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:42,399
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU
GONNA SELL ANYTHING
THAT'S NOT GROSS?
86
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:43,866
AND NOW OUR NEXT ITEM.
87
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:45,565
DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION
TO THIS PHOTO
88
00:03:45,634 --> 00:03:47,198
OF A BEAUTIFUL
40-FOOT FISHING BOAT.
89
00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:48,632
OH, MAN! THAT'S
PERFECT!
90
00:03:48,701 --> 00:03:49,599
$12,000!
91
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:50,599
$13,000!
92
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:51,732
$25,000!
93
00:03:51,801 --> 00:03:52,866
UH,
94
00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:54,632
SOLD FOR $25,000!
95
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,665
YES!
96
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:56,832
AW, CRAP!
97
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:57,966
THANKS.
98
00:03:58,034 --> 00:03:59,899
AND NOW THE
ACTUAL BOAT ITSELF.
99
00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:02,166
DO I HAVE AN OPENING
BID FOR THE BOAT?
100
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:03,365
$50,000!
101
00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:05,099
SOLD FOR $50,000!
102
00:04:05,168 --> 00:04:06,431
GOOD FOR YOU, PETER.
103
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,333
[Tapping]
104
00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:13,698
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'VE JUST BOUGHT
YOURSELF A CURSED BOAT.
105
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:14,932
CURSED?
106
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:16,932
THE LAST CAPTAIN OF
THAT VESSEL LOST HIS LIFE.
107
00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:18,632
AND IT WEREN'T
NO ACCIDENT!
108
00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:21,132
HIS NAME WAS SALTY.
AND HE WAS DEVOURED
109
00:04:21,201 --> 00:04:23,765
BY DAGGERMOUTH, THE
MAN-EATING BLOWFISH.
110
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:26,932
YOU WANT TO BUY THAT
BOAT? GO AHEAD, TAKE IT.
BUT DON'T EXPECT ME
111
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:31,166
TO FISH YOUR DEAD
BODY FROM AN ANGRY SEA
THAT GAVE YOU FAIR WARNING.
112
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,599
ARE YOU UP FOR BIDS, TOO?
YOU ARE JUST PRECIOUS.
113
00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:39,532
ARE YOU
GONNA MISS ME?
114
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,832
ONLY UNTIL I GO
TO THE NEWSSTAND
AND BUY A HUSTLER.
115
00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:44,498
[Laughing]
116
00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:47,665
ALL RIGHT, I LEFT YOU
THE NUMBER FOR THE SPA.
SEE YOU IN A FEW DAYS.
117
00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:50,832
NOT IF I STRANGLE
MYSELF WITH A
SEAWEED WRAP AND DIE.
118
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:53,199
WHOA-HO-HO!
YOU ARE DARK!
119
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,398
UH, YOU STILL HAVEN'T
TOLD ME HOW YOU EXPECT
TO PAY FOR THAT BOAT.
120
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,598
DON'T WORRY, BRIAN.
THERE'S GOT TO BE 100 BANKS
THAT'LL GIVE ME A LOAN.
121
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:03,732
[Sirens wailing]
122
00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:04,966
[Woman screaming]
123
00:05:05,034 --> 00:05:06,699
OH, WOW! SO, YOU
CAN REALLY GIVE
ME A LOAN?
124
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:09,765
I SURE CAN. YOU SEE,
MR. GRIFFIN, WHAT SETS US
APART FROM OTHER BANKS
125
00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:12,732
IS THAT OTHER BANKS ARE
BANKS. NOW, I TRUST YOU
HAVE COLLATERAL.
126
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:13,965
UM,
127
00:05:14,034 --> 00:05:15,465
I--I GOT 3 KIDS.
128
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:16,999
[Laughing]
129
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,999
I'LL TAKE 'EM. HA! HA!
JUST KIDDING. OR MAYBE
I'M NOT. SIGN THIS.
130
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,765
HERE YOU GO.
GOOD LUCK!
131
00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:24,632
[Door chime ringing]
132
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:28,165
SO, WHAT DO YOU
WANT ON YOUR THIGH?
133
00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,232
I WANT A SKULL.
134
00:05:29,301 --> 00:05:31,132
OK. WELL, I CAN DRAW
KERMIT THE FROG.
135
00:05:31,201 --> 00:05:33,032
HOW ABOUT A NICE
KERMIT THE FROG?
136
00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,399
NO. I WANT A SKULL.
137
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,699
OK, WELL I'M GONNA
GO AHEAD AND DO
KERMIT THE FROG.
138
00:05:38,834 --> 00:05:40,532
MOM, THIS
IS SO LAME.
139
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,732
COME ON, MEG.
TRY TO HAVE FUN.
140
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,632
I PROMISE AFTER
A FEW DAYS HERE
YOU WON'T
141
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,232
EVEN REMEMBER
THE WORDS
"SPRING BREAK".
142
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:47,265
[Moans]
143
00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:49,365
HEY, HOW ABOUT
SOME T.V.?
144
00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:51,766
THIS IS M.T.V. AND WE'RE
ROCKING AT SPRING BREAK!
145
00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,265
[Cheering]
146
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,231
HEY, THIS IS V.H.1
AND WE'RE ROCKING
AT SPRING BREAK.
147
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,432
[Cheering]
148
00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:58,465
...LEAVING
THOUSANDS INJURED.
149
00:05:58,534 --> 00:06:00,599
FOR CNN, I'M
BERNARD SHAW
150
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:04,032
KEEPING IT REAL AND KICKING
ASS AT SPRING BREAK! WHOO!
151
00:06:05,101 --> 00:06:06,731
[Moans]
152
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,832
THERE SHE IS, BOYS.
THE S.S. MORE
POWERFUL THAN
153
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,732
SUPERMAN,
BATMAN, SPIDERMAN,
154
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,765
AND THE INCREDIBLE
HULK PUT TOGETHER.
155
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:15,532
YES, SHE'S
A FINE VESSEL.
156
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,565
WELCOME TO THE WHARF.
NAME'S HENNESSEY.
157
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:20,398
HI THERE. PETER GRIFFIN.
MY FRIENDS CALL
ME PETER FOR SHORT.
158
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:22,299
I'LL TELL YOU
A LITTLE SECRET,
NEIGHBOR.
159
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,699
THE BEST FISHING
IS AT LATITUDE 42,
160
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,066
LONGITUDE 71. KEEP
THAT TO YOURSELF.
161
00:06:27,135 --> 00:06:28,465
OH, WOW! THANKS.
162
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:30,966
HEY, I'LL SEE YOU,
FELLOWS. I GOT SOME
FISH TO CATCH.
163
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:38,765
AH, LET'S SEE. LATITUDE 42,
LONGITUDE 71. THIS IS IT.
164
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,432
WHAT THE HELL?
165
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,366
PAPA, HE KILLED
MORDECAI THE DANCING
YIDDISH CLOWN!
166
00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:48,065
STOP CRYING! YOU
JUST BECAME A MAN.
NOW, ACT LIKE ONE!
167
00:06:48,134 --> 00:06:51,099
HEY, HENNESSEY, WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA SENDING ME
TO THAT BAR MITZVAH?
168
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:53,765
BECAUSE I DON'T
LIKE YOU! AND I DON'T
LIKE YOUR FACE!
169
00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:56,232
WE DON'T NEED ANY
MORE FISHERMEN
CROWDING UP THIS WHARF!
170
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,832
OH, WELL FINE,
HENNESSEY! YOU WANT
AN ENEMY, YOU GOT ONE!
171
00:06:58,900 --> 00:06:59,832
FINE!
172
00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:04,199
UGH! THERE
WE ARE.
173
00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:06,532
SO, STEVE, YOU EVER
THINK OF GROWING
A MOUSTACHE?
174
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:13,598
NICE FISH YOU
GOT THERE, GRIFFIN.
175
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,598
WHAT ARE YOU
SELLING? YOUR BAIT?
176
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:16,798
UM,
177
00:07:16,867 --> 00:07:20,799
NICE FACE, HENNESSEY.
YES! ME, ONE. YOU, ZERO.
178
00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:21,865
HEY!
179
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,098
WOW! SO HOW
DO YOU DO IT?
180
00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:28,931
OH, YOU'RE VERY
NICE TO ASK.
181
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,499
WELL, FIRST I HANG THE
OLD WORM OUT THERE.
THEY USUALLY GO FOR IT.
182
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,899
SO I JERK THEM AROUND
A LITTLE. THEY FIGHT
FOR A WHILE.
183
00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:36,965
AND--AND THEN THEY JUST
LAY BACK AND ACCEPT IT.
184
00:07:37,034 --> 00:07:38,532
HOW ABOUT WE GET
TOGETHER LATER?
185
00:07:38,601 --> 00:07:39,965
UM, OK.
186
00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,432
[Laughing]
187
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,398
WHAT THE HELL?
OH, DAMN IT!
188
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,032
[Gasps]
189
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,564
HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
190
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:52,398
PETER, DID YOU
READ THE FINE PRINT
ON THIS LOAN CONTRACT?
191
00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:54,731
UM, IF BY "READ"
YOU MEAN
192
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,231
"IMAGINED A NAKED
LADY," THEN YES.
193
00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,565
PETER, LISTEN, THE BANK'S
TAKING ALL OUR STUFF.
AND ACCORDING TO THIS
194
00:08:00,634 --> 00:08:02,332
IF YOU DON'T PAY
THEM WITHIN 48 HOURS,
195
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,665
THEY GET
THE HOUSE, TOO.
196
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,432
OH, BOY! I GET
TO GO LIVE AT
THE BANK!
197
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:13,098
MEG, DID I EVER TELL
YOU THAT IF YOU'RE
ON BIRTH CONTROL
198
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:14,732
AND YOU TAKE
AN ANTIBIOTIC
199
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,865
IT MAKES IT
NOT WORK?
200
00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:17,932
[Laughing]
201
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:19,899
BECAUSE NO
ONE TOLD ME.
202
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,698
I THOUGHT YOU
SHOULD KNOW.
203
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,265
LOOK MOM, I DON'T
REALLY FEEL LIKE
TALKING RIGHT NOW. OK?
204
00:08:25,334 --> 00:08:27,132
FINE. I JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHY
205
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,965
WE HAD TO LEAVE
THE SPA SO EARLY.
206
00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:31,199
LOOK, I JUST WANNA
GO HOME AND SPEND
THE NEXT 3 DAYS
207
00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:33,999
IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT
WHERE I BELONG!
208
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,832
[Sighs]
WELL, I TRIED.
209
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,732
[Tires screeching]
210
00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:48,665
[Gasps]
211
00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,032
[Grunts]
212
00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:52,066
MOM, WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING HERE?
213
00:08:52,135 --> 00:08:54,066
THIS IS WHERE
YOU WANTED TO BE.
RIGHT, HONEY?
214
00:08:54,135 --> 00:08:56,298
YEAH. BUT NOT
WITH YOU!
215
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:58,565
HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT
HAPPENED TO THAT
DUDE FROM U.MASS?
216
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:02,999
HE GOT SO DRUNK HE
FELL OFF HIS HOTEL
BALCONY! HE'S IN A COMA!
217
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,032
OH, MAN! I WANT
TO PARTY WITH HIM!
218
00:09:05,101 --> 00:09:06,665
YOU KNOW IT! YEAH!
219
00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:07,798
WHOO!
YEAH!
220
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:09,565
WHOO!
YEAH!
221
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,565
HEY, LOOK.
MEG MADE IT,
YOU GUYS.
222
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,498
YEAH. AND
SHE BROUGHT
HER MOMMY.
223
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:14,932
[Laughing]
224
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:16,066
OH, MY GOD!
225
00:09:16,134 --> 00:09:18,365
COME ON, MEG!
GET OUT OF THE CAR!
226
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,465
LIKE THE KIDS SAY,
UP YOUR NOSE
WITH A RUBBER HOSE!
227
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:22,465
[Laughing]
228
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:23,532
WHOO!
229
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:27,999
HEY, LOOK, EVERYBODY.
IT'S SPUDS MACKENZIE!
230
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,066
[Roaring]
231
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,132
AHH!
232
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,565
[Screaming]
233
00:09:32,634 --> 00:09:34,432
WELL, THAT'S
THE LAST OF THE
FURNITURE.
234
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,998
[Sighs]
NO T.V.
235
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,932
I MISS MY FRIENDS.
JOHN RITTER,
236
00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:40,564
AND FLORENCE HENDERSON,
AND ALFONSO RIBEIRO.
237
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:42,266
IS HE THE GUY
FROM SILVER SPOONS?
238
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,731
UH, NO. WELL,
HE WAS ON FRENCH
PRINCE OF BEL-AIR.
239
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:45,832
FRESH PRINCE.
240
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,199
FRESH PRINCE
OF BEL-AIR.
241
00:09:47,268 --> 00:09:49,398
BUT I DON'T KNOW
IF HE WAS ALSO ON--
HEY, ALFONSO.
242
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:50,366
YEAH?
243
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:51,466
WERE YOU ON
SILVER SPOONS?
244
00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:52,465
YES, I WAS.
245
00:09:52,533 --> 00:09:53,465
OH, THERE
YOU GO.
246
00:09:55,334 --> 00:09:57,032
COME ON. JUST A
LITTLE HIGHER, HONEY.
247
00:09:57,101 --> 00:09:58,632
MOM, I DON'T
THINK I CAN--
248
00:09:58,700 --> 00:09:59,765
[Choking]
249
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,232
HEY, WHO'S
HOLDING LOIS?
250
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,264
I DON'T KNOW.
SOME DUDE NAMED MEL.
251
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:06,199
THIS IS CARSON DALY,
AND WE'RE LIVE HERE
AT SPRING BREAK.
252
00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:07,665
WHO WANTS TO PARTY?
253
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:09,265
[Crowd]
ME!
254
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,598
OK, 1, 2,
3, 4, 5...
255
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:14,165
OK, WE'RE GONNA
NEED CAKE AND JUICE
FOR 14 PEOPLE.
256
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:15,999
ALL RIGHT, NOW LET'S
GO TO TOM GREEN
257
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:18,364
WHO'S GONNA DO SOMETHING
REALLY OUTRAGEOUS!
258
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:21,832
DOES ANYONE OUT THERE
LIKE ME YET?
259
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:23,265
CAN I STOP THIS?
260
00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,732
HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?
261
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,499
YOUR HOUSE?
THIS IS MY HOUSE.
262
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,366
MY WIFE AND I BOUGHT
IT FROM THE BANK.
263
00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:35,065
BUT I--I STILL GOT
ANOTHER DAY TO PAY
BACK THE LOAN.
264
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,132
THE BANK SAID IT WOULDN'T
MATTER BECAUSE YOU'RE A
FAT DEADBEAT LOSER.
265
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,332
FAT DEADBEAT LOSER?
266
00:10:40,401 --> 00:10:42,832
WELL, SIR, WHILE
I MAY NOT AGREE
WITH WHAT YOU SAY,
267
00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:45,199
I'LL DEFEND TO
THE DEATH YOUR
RIGHT TO SAY IT.
268
00:10:45,267 --> 00:10:48,798
THERE WE ARE. IT'S
A VAN GOGH PRINT.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
269
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:50,532
OH, YES, I'VE
OFTEN FANTASIZED
ABOUT WHAT
270
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,598
THIS HOUSE WOULD
BE LIKE WITH
MORE CULTURE.
271
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:53,665
THE PORT IS
QUITE GOOD.
272
00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:54,665
YES,
QUITE GOOD.
273
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:55,632
INDEED.
CERTAINLY.
274
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:56,665
WHAT YEAR IS IT?
'51.
275
00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:57,665
AH.
DELECTABLE.
276
00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:58,632
INDEED.
277
00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,632
OH, DEAR!
WHAT IS IT?
278
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:00,665
I SPONTANEOUSLY
COMBUSTED.
279
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:01,732
OH, I AM SORRY.
280
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:03,032
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M TIRED OF LIVING.
281
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:03,899
VERY GOOD
THEN.
282
00:11:03,968 --> 00:11:04,732
FOR THE BEST.
INDEED.
283
00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:05,698
IS IT RAINING
AGAIN?
284
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,798
HEY, DID YOU HEAR
THE ONE ABOUT US?
285
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,665
WOW! YOU ARE
SUCH A GOOD DANCER.
286
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,099
WAY TO GO ON
THAT BEER BONG.
287
00:11:15,168 --> 00:11:16,465
YEAH, NO FAKE.
NO FAKE.
288
00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:17,432
MOM!
289
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,832
HI! WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
290
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,232
WHAT AM I
DOING HERE?
291
00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:23,399
I'VE BEEN WAITING OUT
HERE FOR HOURS!
292
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,799
WHAT?
293
00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:28,198
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
POP INSIDE REAL QUICK AND
FIND SOMEONE WHO LOOKED
294
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,299
ENOUGH LIKE ME
SO I COULD USE
THEIR I.D.
295
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:32,299
AND THEN YOU
WERE SUPPOSED
TO COME OUT
296
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:34,998
AND GIVE ME THE
I.D. SO I COULD
GET INSIDE.
297
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,399
[Laughing]
WHAT?
298
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,632
GOD, IT'S LIKE
TALKING TO A
3-YEAR-OLD!
299
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,298
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU NEED TO LEARN
300
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:43,965
HOW TO LOOSEN UP
A LITTLE, TOOTS.
301
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:46,365
YEAH, I GET THE FEELING
YOU'RE LOOSE ENOUGH
FOR THE BOTH OF US.
302
00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:47,432
WHAT?
NOTHING.
303
00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:50,365
THAT'S RIGHT NOTHING.
DON'T YOU SASS ME!
304
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,965
[Telephone rings]
305
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:55,198
GOOD EVENING.
STEVENSON RESIDENCE.
306
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,032
CHRIS, HONEY,
WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
307
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,498
A THOUSAND TIMES.
IT'S PRONOUNCED
"GRIFFIN."
308
00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:00,766
HI, MOM!
309
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:03,465
HI, CHRIS. PUT
YOUR FATHER ON.
310
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:04,831
HEY, DAD?
311
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,932
AND THE FRENCH GUY
SAYS, "DEODORANT?
WHAT'S THAT?"
312
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:09,333
[Laughing]
313
00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:14,398
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I'VE GOT ONE. I'VE GOT
ONE, UM, OK,
314
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,498
2 MEN ARE STANDING
AT THE PEARLY GATES.
315
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:18,932
OH, GOD, WAIT!
HOW DID THAT ONE GO?
316
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,432
OH, WELL, ANYWAY,
IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE
SIEGFRIED AND ROY.
317
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,265
I'M NO GOOD AT
TELLING JOKES.
318
00:12:23,334 --> 00:12:24,799
DAD, IT'S MOM.
319
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:26,365
OH, GOD! PLEASE BE
SOMERSET MAUGHAM.
320
00:12:26,434 --> 00:12:28,265
PLEASE BE SOMERSET
MAUGHAM. HELLO?
321
00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:29,531
PETER?
DAMN!
322
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,232
I WAS JUST CALLING
TO CHECK IN
WITH MY BOYS,
323
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,564
SEE HOW YOU GUYS
ARE DOING.
324
00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,199
OH, UH, W-WE'RE FINE.
325
00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:35,298
[People laughing]
326
00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:36,431
WHAT'S ALL
THE NOISE?
327
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,965
UH, UH, NOTHING.
NOTHING.
328
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:39,999
PETER, I NEED YOU TO
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
329
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:42,598
OK, LOIS!
LOIS, I GOT TO GO!
330
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,599
HOLY CRAP, BRIAN!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
331
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,532
LOIS IS GONNA BE HOME
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS
332
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,732
AND WE'RE GETTING KICKED
OUT OF THE HOUSE TOMORROW.
333
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:49,999
WHAT DO
YOU SUGGEST?
334
00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:51,164
GET OUT YOUR RING.
335
00:12:51,233 --> 00:12:52,164
PETER,
THAT'S NOT--
336
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:53,364
COME ON!
337
00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:55,498
[Both]
WONDER TWIN
POWERS, ACTIVATE!
338
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,131
FORM OF STEAM!
339
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,466
PETER, WE GOT
THESE IN A BOX OF
FRANKENBERRY.
340
00:13:01,535 --> 00:13:03,765
A JACKAL! JACKAL!
IT'S A JACKAL!
341
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:06,532
IT LOOKS LIKE A JACKAL!
JACKAL? IT'S A JACKAL!
342
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,832
TIME!
343
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,431
IT WASN'T RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME
YOU SAID IT!
344
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,998
WHY THE HELL
WOULD IT BE RIGHT
THE NEXT 10 TIMES?
345
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:13,865
GOD!
346
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:19,865
OH, MAN,
I AM SCREWED!
I'M GONNA LOSE
347
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:21,765
MY HOUSE,
AND MY BOAT,
AND EVERYTHING.
348
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,198
HOW AM I GONNA COME UP
WITH $50,000 BY TOMORROW?
349
00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:28,265
WELL, YOU COULD WHORE
YOURSELF OUT TO 1,000 FAT
CHICKS FOR $50 APIECE.
350
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,032
OR 50 REALLY FAT
CHICKS FOR $1,000.
351
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:32,699
WHAT?
352
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,098
DON'T LOOK
AT ME LIKE THAT.
353
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:35,998
FAT CHICKS NEED
LOVE, TOO.
354
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,065
BUT THEY
GOT TO PAY.
355
00:13:37,934 --> 00:13:39,298
UH, WHAT
IS THIS?
356
00:13:39,366 --> 00:13:41,331
SEA WATER, COURTESY
OF THAT GENTLEMAN
OVER THERE.
357
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,998
[Laughing]
358
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:46,332
YOU NEED $50,000,
GRIFFIN? WELL I GOT
A SUGGESTION FOR YOU.
359
00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:48,065
WHY DON'T YOU
KILL DAGGERMOUTH?
360
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,631
MAYBE I WILL,
HENNESSEY.
361
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,231
[Man]
YOU'D BE BUYING YOURSELF
362
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,765
A ONE-WAY TICKET
TO A WATERY GRAVE.
363
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:59,165
DAGGERMOUTH IS THE
MEANEST, MOST RUTHLESS
364
00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:01,565
CREATURE THAT'S
EVER INHABITED THE SEA.
365
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:04,898
LEGEND HAS IT HE DWELLS
OUT BY FISH STENCH COVE.
366
00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:07,332
HE'LL KILL ANY MAN
THAT COMES NEAR THERE.
367
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:09,899
I SAW HIM ONCE. SURE
I'M BLIND IN ONE EYE,
368
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:12,032
AND MY OTHER EYE
WAS INFECTED THAT DAY
369
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,032
FROM PICKING AT IT,
AND I WAS TIRED,
370
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,999
AND I'D BEEN
SWIMMING IN A POOL
371
00:14:16,068 --> 00:14:18,298
WITH TOO MUCH
CHLORINE, AND THAT WAS
372
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:20,332
THE HOUR MY GLASSES
WERE AT LENSCRAFTERS
373
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,665
BUT I SEEN THAT FISH!
374
00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:23,032
WELL, IF THERE'S
$50,000 IN IT,
375
00:14:23,101 --> 00:14:24,465
I DON'T THINK
I GOT A CHOICE.
376
00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:25,832
WELL, YOU CAN
WHORE YOURSELF
377
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:27,798
OUT TO 1,000 FAT
CHICKS FOR $50.
378
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,899
NO, NO. WE
COVERED THAT.
379
00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:30,632
YOU AIN'T GOT A
CHANCE, GRIFFIN.
380
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,665
DAGGERMOUTH
KILLED MY
FRIEND SALTY.
381
00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,932
AND HE WAS TWICE
THE FISHERMAN YOU ARE.
382
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,465
AND HALF
THE WEIGHT!
383
00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:37,532
TSS.
384
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:40,431
HEY! NO!
NO! HOT!
385
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:43,265
HE'S RIGHT, PETER.
IT'D BE SUICIDE TO
GO AFTER THAT FISH.
386
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,698
THERE'S GOTTA
BE ANOTHER WAY.
387
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:46,266
WE COULD HAVE
A BAKE SALE.
388
00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:48,099
OH, NOW, SEE?
I THINK THAT'S
A NEAT IDEA.
389
00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:51,298
NO! I AM NOT GONNA
LET MY FAMILY LIVE
ON THE STREET.
390
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,699
NOT EVEN IF IT MEANS
ENDING UP LIKE
SHAMUS, HERE.
391
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:58,398
NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME, I HAVE
A DATE WITH DESTINY.
392
00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,365
SO, WERE YOU, LIKE,
IN AN ACCIDENT,
OR WHAT?
393
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:02,166
NO. ME FATHER
WAS A TREE.
394
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:09,532
[Sighs]
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
I GOT TO BE CRAZY
395
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,798
TO THINK I CAN KILL
THAT MAN-EATING FISH.
396
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,165
I MEAN, WHAT THE
HELL AM I DOING?
397
00:15:13,234 --> 00:15:15,498
HEY, HEY, HEY,
COME ON, PETER.
398
00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:16,665
WHAT KIND OF
TALK IS THAT?
399
00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:18,398
YEAH, YOU
CAN DO IT.
400
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:19,998
WHO'S MY BIG
BRAVE BOY, HUH?
401
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,098
ME.
402
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,765
WHO'S MY BIG
BRAVE BOY?
403
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:23,998
ME.
404
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,198
[Blowing raspberries]
405
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,632
[Laughing]
406
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:30,298
♪[Rock music playing]
407
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,765
THIS SUCKS, MOM.
408
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,166
MEG, STOP MOPING.
409
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,932
THESE ARE THE BEST
YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.
410
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,232
NOW, LET'S GET UP
THERE AND LIVE
A LITTLE, HUH?
411
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:41,799
MOM, I LOOK
LIKE AN IDIOT!
412
00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:45,198
NO, YOU DON'T. COME ON.
JUST MOVE YOUR HIPS
A LITTLE LIKE THIS.
413
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,832
[Crowd]
LOIS! LOIS! LOIS!
414
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,665
MEG! MEG!
MEG! MEG!
415
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:52,598
[Crowd]
MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
416
00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:54,598
MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
417
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,366
ATTA GIRL! SHAKE
YOUR MONEY-MAKER!
418
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,333
[Crowd]
MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
419
00:16:02,734 --> 00:16:04,499
[Crowd gasps]
420
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,232
OH, MY GOD!
IT'S A CHICK!
421
00:16:06,301 --> 00:16:08,298
[Speaking Spanish]
422
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,599
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY!
THIS PARTY'S OVER!
423
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:13,232
HEY, WHY DO YOU
COPS ALWAYS HAVE
TO KILL OUR BUZZ?
424
00:16:13,301 --> 00:16:15,798
HE USED A TEENAGE
COLLOQUIALISM.
GET THE TEAR GAS.
425
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,598
[Crowd screaming]
426
00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:21,398
[Joe]
NOT SO FAST, BIG GUY.
427
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:22,832
WHAT ARE YOU
GUYS DOING HERE?
428
00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:25,099
WE'RE GONNA HELP
YOU KILL THE FISH.
429
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,866
BUT THIS--THIS IS
GONNA BE DANGEROUS.
WE COULD ALL DIE.
430
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:29,966
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE OUR BEST
FRIEND, PETER.
431
00:16:30,034 --> 00:16:32,631
BESIDES, I CAN REMEMBER
A TIME WHEN YOU
SAVED ALL OUR BUTTS.
432
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,732
MM-MM.
MM-MM.
433
00:16:35,968 --> 00:16:37,365
HYA!
434
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,731
YEAH, TOO BAD I DIDN'T
GET THERE UNTIL
AFTER THE SODOMY.
435
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:42,099
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO
KICK SOME FISH ASS, HUH?
436
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,498
[Cheering]
437
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:46,732
[Siren wailing]
438
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:49,732
I CAN'T BELIEVE I
JUST SHOWED EVERYONE
MY TATER TOTS.
439
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,598
WORST OF ALL,
NOW I'M GONNA HAVE
A POLICE RECORD.
440
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,598
NOW MEG, IF
YOU'RE GONNA GRAB
A HOLD OF LIFE,
441
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,399
YOU'VE GOTTA EXPECT
TO GET YOUR HANDS
442
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,231
DIRTY ONCE IN A WHILE.
443
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,132
IT WAS KIND OF COOL
THAT PEOPLE NOTICED ME.
444
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,165
THAT'S THE SPIRIT,
HONEY. OK, 1, 2, 3,
TUCK AND ROLL!
445
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:12,032
WE'RE RIGHT ON
COURSE, GUYS. GIVE
ME ANOTHER BEER.
446
00:17:12,101 --> 00:17:14,331
AH, YOU KNOW,
THESE ARE THE
PRECIOUS MOMENTS.
447
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,766
THE 4 OF US
OUT AT SEA,
448
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:19,298
MILES AWAY FROM
CIVILIZATION,
TOSSING BACK BREWS.
449
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,865
AMEN TO THAT,
KIDDO.
450
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,632
HEY, HEY YOU GUYS,
HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
451
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,665
LET'S SAY NONE OF US
WERE MARRIED, ALL RIGHT?
452
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,298
IF YOU COULD HAVE
ANY WOMAN IN THE WORLD,
WHO WOULD IT BE?
453
00:17:27,366 --> 00:17:28,432
MARIEL HEMINGWAY.
454
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,532
AW, COME ON.
REALLY?
455
00:17:29,601 --> 00:17:30,599
THAT'S NOT A
GOOD CHOICE.
456
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,232
SHE'S SO
JAGGED.
457
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:35,032
NO, NO. I THINK
SHE'S VERY ATTRACTIVE
IN A CLASSICAL KIND OF WAY.
458
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,166
YEAH, BUT YOU
COULD CUT A ROAST
ON HER FACE.
459
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:38,932
I WOULD GO
WITH MARGARET
THATCHER.
460
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:40,399
MARGARET
THATCHER?
461
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:42,065
WHY THE HELL
MARGARET
THATCHER?
462
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:44,832
OH, SO NOBODY HERE
THINKS POWER IS SEXY?
463
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,332
NOT ONE OF YOU
FINDS POWER SEXY?
464
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:48,499
HOW ABOUT YOU, PETER?
465
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,698
OH, LIKE YOU
GOT TO ASK.
466
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,431
THE CHICK WITH 3 KNOCKERS
FROM TOTAL RECALL.
467
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,465
INTERESTING.
468
00:17:52,533 --> 00:17:53,832
I NEVER SAW
THAT MOVIE.
469
00:17:53,901 --> 00:17:55,799
HEY, YOU KNOW
ONE OF THEM WAS
PAPIER-MACHE, RIGHT?
470
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:59,166
OH, JEEZ! CAN I CHANGE MY
ANSWER? OF COURSE I KNOW
IT'S PAPER! I DON'T CARE!
471
00:17:59,234 --> 00:18:02,398
WHAT'S WRONG WITH
YOU? HA! WHAT ABOUT
YOU, QUAGMIRE?
472
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,166
TAYLOR HANSON.
473
00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:05,765
TAYLOR HANSON'S A GUY.
474
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:08,631
[Laughing]
475
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,698
YOU GUYS ARE
YANKING ME.
476
00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:13,099
HEY, LET'S PUT ONE
OVER ON OLD QUAGMIRE.
477
00:18:13,168 --> 00:18:14,132
[Laughing]
478
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,432
NO, H-HE'S ACTUALLY
A GUY, QUAGMIRE.
479
00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:18,332
WHAT?
480
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,932
WELL THIS IS INSANE!
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
481
00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:27,032
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY
GOD! OH, MY GOD!
I CAN'T--OH, GOD!
482
00:18:27,101 --> 00:18:29,132
I--I GOT ALL
THESE MAGAZINES.
483
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,531
OH--OH, GOD!
484
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:31,498
OH, GOD!
485
00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:35,332
[Gasping]
486
00:18:35,401 --> 00:18:37,932
[Joe]
THIS MUST BE
FISH STENCH COVE.
487
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,866
ALL RIGHT.
NOW ALL WE GOT TO
DO IS FIND THE FISH.
488
00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:44,065
I WONDER WHERE
THAT FISH DID GO.
489
00:18:44,134 --> 00:18:47,132
A FISH, A FISH,
A FISHY, OH.
490
00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:02,032
I HEARD THAT WHEN
DAGGERMOUTH EATS YOU,
HE DEVOURS YOUR GUTS FIRST.
491
00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:06,565
I HEARD HE
DOESN'T JUST EAT YOU,
HE EATS YOUR SOUL!
492
00:19:06,634 --> 00:19:08,598
I HEARD ONE
OF SHANNEN
DOHERTY'S EYES
493
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,232
IS OFF-CENTER
'CAUSE IT'S TRYING
TO ESCAPE!
494
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,865
[Voice]
WELCOME,
GENTLEMEN!
495
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:15,198
[Gasping]
496
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:17,599
IT'S HIM! QUICK,
SHOOT HIM!
497
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:21,698
NOT SO FAST!
PERHAPS I COULD OFFER
YOU A GLASS OF PORT.
498
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:25,265
AND YOU A GLASS OF
STARBOARD. HA! HA! THAT'S
A LITTLE NAUTICAL JOKE.
499
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:28,065
I'M A FISH, YOU SEE.
I'M ALSO DELIGHTFULLY MAD.
500
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,532
AHH!
501
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,432
OH, DEAR. WOULD
YOU MIND HOLDING
STILL FOR A MOMENT?
502
00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:34,532
THESE ANTIQUE PISTOLS TAKE
ABOUT 10 MINUTES TO RELOAD.
503
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:35,499
PETER, CATCH!
504
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:36,532
OW!
505
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,232
DON'T THROW
STUFF AT ME, JOE!
506
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,298
PETER,
SHOOT HIM!
507
00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:40,532
OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
508
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:48,233
MY GOD! ISN'T IT
AMAZING THAT THAT'S
509
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,798
WHAT WE ALL LOOK
LIKE ON THE INSIDE?
510
00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:52,698
IT'S A ROBOT,
YOU IDIOT.
511
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:53,699
WHO ARE YOU?
512
00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:55,199
I'M SALTY.
513
00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:57,999
SALTY? BUT EVERYBODY
SAID YOU WERE KILLED
BY THAT FISH.
514
00:19:58,068 --> 00:19:59,798
THAT'S WHAT
I WANTED
THEM TO THINK.
515
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,731
I DISAPPEARED AND
SPREAD THE DAGGERMOUTH
RUMOR MYSELF.
516
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,998
WHY?
517
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,432
MERCHANDISE!
DAGGERMOUTH
T-SHIRTS, MUGS,
518
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:09,132
POSTERS. AND I'M
IN TALKS WITH
NICKELODEON
519
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,399
FOR A CARTOON
SHOW. FIGURED
I'D PAIR HIM
520
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:13,532
WITH AN
EFFEMINATE CAT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
521
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:14,632
YEAH, I'D
WATCH THAT.
522
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:15,598
SURE.
ME, TOO.
523
00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:16,999
SOUNDS LIKE A
GOOD BALANCE.
524
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:20,098
AND NOW I'M GONNA
GIVE YOU $50,000
TO BE ON YOUR WAY.
525
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,898
$50,000 FOR WHAT?
526
00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:25,765
TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH
SHUT! AND BECAUSE THE
LONGER WE STAY HERE
527
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:28,798
THE MORE PEOPLE'LL
QUESTION HOW A FISHERMAN
WITH NO ENGINEERING
528
00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:32,532
BACKGROUND MANAGED TO
BUILD A SOPHISTICATED
TALKING FISH ROBOT.
529
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,832
YOU KNOW, HONEY,
I'M REALLY SORRY
FOR HOW I ACTED.
530
00:20:37,901 --> 00:20:39,731
GETTING SO DRUNK,
AND DITCHING YOU
531
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,698
AT THE BAR AND LETTING
THOSE BOYS TAKE
532
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:44,032
PICTURES OF YOU
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.
533
00:20:44,101 --> 00:20:47,398
I WAS SO BUSY HAVING
FUN, I GUESS I KIND OF
RUINED IT FOR YOU.
534
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:48,932
[Car horn honking]
535
00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:50,732
UH-OH,
WE GOT COMPANY.
536
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,299
[Horn honking]
537
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,432
[Cheering]
538
00:20:54,501 --> 00:20:56,564
LOOKS LIKE YOUR
FANS ARE BACK, MOM.
539
00:20:56,633 --> 00:20:58,799
MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
540
00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:00,999
NO, I THINK THIS
ONE'S ALL YOURS.
541
00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:02,665
[Cheering]
542
00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:04,032
GO, GIRL!
ALL RIGHT!
543
00:21:04,101 --> 00:21:05,866
[Boy]
ONE'S AN INNIE,
AND ONE'S AN OUTIE.
544
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:12,432
[Announcer]
AND NOW, BACK TO DAGGERMOUTH
AND BOOM BOOM ON NICKELODEON.
545
00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:15,065
BOOM BOOM,
DID YOU DO YOUR
EXERCISES TODAY?
546
00:21:15,134 --> 00:21:18,332
YES. I DID 20 LAPS.
AND I'M ABOUT
TO DO 20 MORE!
547
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,132
OH, YOU!
548
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,132
YIPES!
549
00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:28,364
OH, PETER, I'M SO
GLAD BEING A FISHERMAN
IS WORKING OUT FOR YOU.
550
00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,731
YOU KNOW, I GOT TO ADMIT
I HALF EXPECTED TO COME
HOME, AND ALL OUR STUFF
551
00:21:31,801 --> 00:21:34,398
WOULD BE GONE,
AND WE'D OWE SOMEBODY
A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY.
552
00:21:34,466 --> 00:21:36,298
HOW CAN YOU "HALF
EXPECT" SOMETHING?
553
00:21:36,367 --> 00:21:38,366
I--I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST A TURN
OF PHRASE.
554
00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:40,399
HOW DO YOU
"TURN A PHRASE"?
555
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,966
OH, GOD, YOU'RE
DUMB! THANK GOD
FOR THAT ASS!
556
00:21:43,034 --> 00:21:44,765
NOW, COME HERE
AND KISS ME.
557
00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:46,498
GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.
558
00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:48,731
GOOD NIGHT, LOIS.
GOOD NIGHT, JIM AND ABBY.
559
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,165
GOOD NIGHT.
560
00:21:50,234 --> 00:21:51,199
[Blowing raspberry]
561
00:21:51,267 --> 00:21:52,898
[Peter laughing]
562
00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:54,799
NOT NOW, ABBY.
563
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,332
♪[Theme music playing]