1
00:00:01,567 --> 00:00:04,899
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:08,099
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:08,168 --> 00:00:11,564
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:14,832
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:14,901 --> 00:00:18,198
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:21,565
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
7
00:00:21,634 --> 00:00:23,132
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:23,201 --> 00:00:24,765
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
9
00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:31,032
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,465
ALAN ADLER,
DAVID PRESLACK,
JULIE AXLEROD,
11
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,399
SHEP SUTTON,
SCOTT MCCORMACK.
12
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,099
AND THAT CONCLUDES
THE LIST OF PEOPLE
13
00:00:37,168 --> 00:00:38,731
WHO WERE MEAN TO ME
IN JUNIOR HIGH.
14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:39,832
TOMORROW, HIGH SCHOOL.
15
00:00:39,901 --> 00:00:41,731
FINALLY, WE GO TO
ASIAN REPORTER
16
00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:43,865
TRISHA TAKANAWA FOR
60 SECONDS OF FILLER.
17
00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:46,498
THANKS, TOM.
I'M HERE ON
SPOONER STREET
18
00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:49,598
WHERE SEVERAL
QUAHOG FAMILIES ARE
HOLDING A CAR WASH
19
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,931
TO RAISE MONEY FOR
AN ORGAN TRANSPLANT
20
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,432
FOR YOUNG PAUL LEWIS.
21
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:55,365
SO, WHAT DO YOU CALL
THIS DEVICE, PAUL?
22
00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:56,498
IT'S AN IRON LUNG.
23
00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:57,899
IT KEEPS ME
FROM DYING.
24
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,798
I WANT TO
PLAY BASEBALL!
25
00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:03,399
AND WITH ME IS ONE
OF PAUL'S CLASSMATES,
CHRIS GRIFFIN,
26
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,966
WHO HELPED ORGANIZE
THIS CHARITY EVENT.
27
00:01:06,034 --> 00:01:08,232
YOU'RE A VERY
THOUGHTFUL
YOUNG MAN, CHRIS.
28
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,699
CAN I SAY HELLO
TO MY MOM?
29
00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:10,699
SURE.
30
00:01:10,768 --> 00:01:12,032
HI, MOM!
31
00:01:12,101 --> 00:01:13,731
HI, SWEETHEART!
32
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,465
OK, SO, YOU
WANT THE FULL
WASH AND, UH,
33
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,865
OH, YOU'VE GOT
A NICK THERE. I CAN
GET THAT OUT FOR YOU.
34
00:01:18,934 --> 00:01:20,598
NOW, IF YOU
WANT TO GO
WITH A SCENT,
35
00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:24,065
I'VE GOT P.B. AND J.,
SUGAR CEREAL,
AND NEW TOY.
36
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:25,665
WHAT THE DEUCE?
37
00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:28,398
HEY, SOMEBODY
DROPPED A MONEY CLIP.
38
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:29,565
WOW!
39
00:01:29,634 --> 00:01:30,731
$26.
40
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,198
I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH
MONEY AT ONE TIME!
41
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,865
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE
SHOULD WE DO WITH IT?
42
00:01:34,934 --> 00:01:38,832
I SAY WE BUY $26
WORTH OF ICE CREAM
AND JUST PIG OUT.
43
00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:40,899
OH, WE CAN DISH, TALK
ABOUT WHO'S GETTING FAT.
44
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,865
OH, WE'LL JUST BE
GREAT BIG BITCHES.
45
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:45,432
HOLD ON, KIDS.
THAT'S NOT YOUR
MONEY YET.
46
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,865
THE LAW SAYS YOU GOTTA PUT
UP SIGNS AND WAIT 2 WEEKS
FOR SOMEONE TO CLAIM IT.
47
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:51,065
IF NO ONE DOES,
IT'S YOURS.
48
00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:52,632
AH, LUNCH IS HERE.
49
00:01:55,801 --> 00:01:57,966
EVERYONE, WE'VE
REACHED OUR GOAL!
50
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,765
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S
GONNA LIVE TO SEE PUBERTY.
51
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,899
OH, MY GOD!
THAT MAN JUST
TOOK OUR MONEY!
52
00:02:03,968 --> 00:02:04,832
WHAT MAN?
53
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,265
HE WAS WEARING A
JIMMY CARTER MASK
54
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,132
LIKE THE
ROBBER IN THAT
KEANU REEVES MOVIE.
55
00:02:08,201 --> 00:02:09,232
THE MATRIX?
56
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,531
NO, NO. IT WASN'T
THAT RECENT.
57
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,799
IT WAS THE ONE
WHERE THEY WERE
JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE.
58
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:13,765
EXECUTIVE DECISION?
59
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,399
NO, THAT WAS
WITH KURT RUSSELL.
60
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,865
BUT THE OTHER GUY IN
THIS MOVIE, HE KIND OF
LOOKS LIKE KURT RUSSELL.
61
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:18,932
HE'S GETTING
AWAY!
62
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,565
DON'T WORRY.
HE WON'T GET FAR.
63
00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:22,132
[Siren wailing]
64
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,699
STOP! POLICE!
65
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:27,532
[Tires screeching]
66
00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:47,331
[Wheezing]
67
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:56,332
JOE, WHAT HAPPENED?
68
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,632
I GOT THE MONEY.
69
00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:59,099
ALL RIGHT, JOE!
70
00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:00,565
BUT I LOST THE PERP.
71
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,732
WELL, THE MONEY'S
THE IMPORTANT THING.
72
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,132
NOW LITTLE PAUL
CAN GET HIS--
73
00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:06,166
POINT BREAK! THAT
WAS THE MOVIE!
74
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:12,166
HERE'S TO JOE,
WHO HELPED LITTLE
PAUL GET A NEW LIVER,
75
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:16,698
AND, BARRING A
MASSIVE INFECTION,
A NEW LEASE ON LIFE.
76
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:19,865
DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND?
I LOST THE PERP!
77
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:22,199
I LOST
THE PERP!
78
00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:23,265
OH!
79
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:24,598
[Crying]
80
00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:34,598
[Stifled crying]
81
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:20,665
[Screaming]
82
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:23,598
[Meg]
SO, UM,
83
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:26,032
THE $26 WOULD
PROBABLY BE SAFE
IN MY ROOM.
84
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,132
[Scoffs]
RIGHT.
85
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,999
IT'D PROBABLY GET
LOST AMONG THE PINUPS
86
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,399
OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE,
AND TOM CRUISE, AND...
87
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:32,732
AND, UH,
88
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,865
BLAST! WHO THE DEVIL
DO THE TEENAGERS LIKE?
89
00:04:34,934 --> 00:04:36,065
UH,
90
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:37,398
MORGAN FREEMAN.
91
00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:39,233
WELL, WE CAN'T KEEP
IT IN MY ROOM
92
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,199
BECAUSE THERE'S AN
EVIL MONKEY THAT
LIVES IN MY CLOSET.
93
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:48,032
YOU KNOW, THE SAD PART IS,
HE WASN'T ALWAYS EVIL.
94
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,665
HONEY,
GOOD NEWS!
95
00:04:50,733 --> 00:04:52,333
I MADE PARTNER!
96
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,332
[Making ape noises]
97
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:04,698
PETER, BONNIE SAYS JOE'S
BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED
ABOUT THAT ROBBERY.
98
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,465
WHY DON'T YOU
GO TALK TO HIM?
99
00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,465
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
THERE'S A GAME ON.
100
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:09,932
SHAME ON YOU!
101
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,331
YOU MARCH RIGHT OVER
THERE, AND CHEER
YOUR OLD FRIEND UP!
102
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,465
DON'T LISTEN TO THAT
SISSY. GRAB A BEER
AND WATCH THE GAME.
103
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:16,966
YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
104
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:18,831
OH, MY GOD!
105
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,266
NOW, GET YOUR FAT
ASS OVER TO JOE'S!
106
00:05:20,335 --> 00:05:22,098
LOOK, BUDDY, I--I--
MOVE!
107
00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:24,532
A-ALL RIGHT. JUST TAKE IT
EASY, JUST TAKE IT EASY,
MAN. EVERYTHING'S COOL.
108
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,298
HEY, BUDDY.
109
00:05:27,366 --> 00:05:28,565
CLOSE THE DOOR!
110
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:30,932
I DON'T WANT TO
SEE THE LIGHT.
111
00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:33,098
AW, COME ON, JOE.
CHEER UP, HUH?
112
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,765
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY
YOU AND ME GO ROLLER SKATE--
113
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,233
BIKE RIDE--
114
00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:38,431
JUMP ROPE--
115
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,966
GO LAY ON THE GRASS?
116
00:05:41,034 --> 00:05:44,465
PETER, THE OTHER
DAY WAS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER LOST A PERP.
117
00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:47,498
IT WAS ALSO THE FIRST
TIME I'VE EVER REALLY
FELT HANDICAPPED.
118
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:49,698
I'VE MADE UP MY
MIND ABOUT THIS.
119
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,299
I'M QUITTING
THE FORCE.
120
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,965
OH, COME ON, JOE.
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO QUIT THE FORCE.
121
00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:56,498
YOU-- I MEAN, YOU
COULD GET A DESK JOB.
122
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,565
HUH?
123
00:05:58,268 --> 00:05:59,299
YOU COULD BE A DESK.
124
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,498
FORGET IT!
I'M WASHED UP.
125
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,698
IN LOCAL NEWS,
QUAHOG WILL SOON PLAY
126
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,832
PROUD HOST TO THE
SPECIAL PEOPLE'S GAMES.
127
00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,465
IF YOU AND OR A
FRIEND ARE DISABLED
128
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,865
AND WOULD LIKE TO
CHALLENGE YOURSELF AND
RAISE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM,
129
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,131
SIGN UP TODAY!
130
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,432
JOE, THAT'S IT!
131
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,832
YOU GOT TO COMPETE
IN THE SPECIAL
PEOPLE'S GAMES.
132
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:17,665
GOSH! I DON'T KNOW,
PETER. DO YOU REALLY
THINK I CAN?
133
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:20,098
HEY, I'M THE GUY
THAT BELIEVED YOU
COULD BE A DESK, HUH?
134
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:21,598
COME ON! I'LL
EVEN BE YOUR COACH!
135
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,999
WELL, ALL RIGHT!
LET'S DO IT!
136
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,565
COMING UP IN THIS HALF HOUR,
OUR UNDERCOVER EXPOSE
137
00:06:26,634 --> 00:06:29,199
ON CONVENIENTLY
PLACED NEWS REPORTS
IN TELEVISION SHOWS.
138
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:31,299
BUT FIRST, PETER, LOOK
OUT FOR THAT SKATEBOARD.
139
00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:32,364
AHH!
140
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,431
HAD A BIT OF
A ROW WITH A FELLOW
IN THE STEAM ROOM.
141
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:44,498
YOU DON'T SAY!
142
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:45,765
GAVE HIM A
CAULIFLOWER EAR.
143
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:46,799
BULLY!
144
00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,332
COME ON! COME ON!
COME ON! 2 MORE.
145
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,265
PETER, YOU'RE
PUSHING ME TOO HARD.
146
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:52,599
AH, TRUST ME, JOE. I
KNOW PHYSICAL FITNESS.
147
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:55,598
I WAS IN RICHARD SIMMONS'
SWEATIN' TO BOOKS ON TAPE.
148
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,232
[Narrator]
THE RED SOX WERE IN TOWN.
149
00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,732
BUT I DIDN'T CARE
150
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,765
BECAUSE IT WAS TUESDAY, AND I
WAS ON MY WAY TO SEE MAURY.
151
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:05,298
HE COULDN'T GO TO THE
BATHROOM BY HIMSELF ANYMORE.
152
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:07,032
BUT HIS INDOMITABLE SPIRIT...
153
00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:13,032
SO, HOW DOES HE CHECK
OUT, DOC? IS MY BOY
READY TO COMPETE?
154
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,365
UM,
155
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,765
I DON'T QUITE KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU
THIS, MR. SWANSON.
156
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:19,265
YOU'RE PARALYZED
FROM THE WAIST DOWN.
157
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:20,532
I KNOW.
158
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,632
OH, THANK GOD!
159
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:24,331
[Laughing]
OH!
160
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,931
GOD, I WAS STANDING
OUT THERE FOR,
LIKE, 10 MINUTES!
161
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,765
[Laughing]
WHOO!
162
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:30,765
BOY, IS THAT
A LOAD OFF!
163
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:36,132
HEY MORT, JOE HERE'S
GONNA BE COMPETING IN THE
SPECIAL PEOPLE'S GAMES.
164
00:07:36,201 --> 00:07:38,832
UH, YOU GOT ANYTHING
THAT MIGHT GIVE HIM
A LITTLE EXTRA JUICE?
165
00:07:38,901 --> 00:07:40,564
YOU MEAN STEROIDS?
166
00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:44,599
BUT, PETER, HAVEN'T YOU
SEEN WHAT HAPPENS TO
THOSE LADIES ON E.S.P.N. 2?
167
00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:48,565
THEY GET BIG HAIR FACES,
AND THEIR BREASTS
BECOME LIKE FLAPJACKS!
168
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,099
I--I WAS
THINKING MORE LIKE
A PROTEIN SHAKE.
169
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:53,465
OH, GOD, I'M SORRY!
170
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:55,231
AISLE 3, NEXT
TO THE CREAMS.
171
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,598
OOH, I DON'T LIKE
SAYING THAT WORD.
172
00:07:59,233 --> 00:08:01,898
[Announcer]
WE NOW RETURN TO
TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL.
173
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,765
NOW, WHERE EXACTLY
DID THE ANGEL TOUCH YOU?
174
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,333
HERE.
175
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,899
AW, COME ON! WHO'RE
YOU GONNA BELIEVE?
176
00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:08,999
I GOT A FREAKIN' HALO!
177
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:09,932
SHH-SHH!
178
00:08:10,001 --> 00:08:11,199
AW!
179
00:08:11,268 --> 00:08:12,599
BYE! I'M GOING
TO THE MALL!
180
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,299
WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO THE MALL FOR?
181
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:17,165
DON'T WORRY.
THE $26 IS SAFE.
182
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:18,365
SAFE, HUH?
183
00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:20,265
THE SKIRT'S TRYING
TO PULL A FAST ONE.
184
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,365
KNUCKLES, GET
THE HANDBAG!
185
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,398
RIGHT, BOSS!
186
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,698
HEY, GIVE ME MY
PURSE, YOU PSYCHO!
187
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,532
LET'S SEE. MAKEUP,
CHEWING GUM,
188
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,799
A PICTURE OF MEG IN
A 2-PIECE SWIMSUIT.
189
00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:32,498
OH! GOD! I PRAY THIS
IS NOT MY FIRST MEMORY!
190
00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:36,032
LOOK, EVERYBODY COOL IT!
I AM NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH
THIS RACKET FOR 2 WEEKS.
191
00:08:36,101 --> 00:08:39,599
I'LL HOLD ONTO THE
MONEY. I'M A NEUTRAL
PARTY, SO IT'LL BE SAFE.
192
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:40,798
OK.
ALL RIGHT.
193
00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:41,932
I SUPPOSE WE
CAN TRUST YOU.
194
00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:43,698
NOW, WHERE IS IT?
195
00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:44,765
WHAT THE--
196
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,265
OH, VERY CLEVER.
197
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:48,598
TAKE ANOTHER REACH.
YOU FORGOT YOUR CHANGE.
198
00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:55,498
HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO THE QUAHOG
SPECIAL PEOPLE'S GAMES.
199
00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:56,465
I'M TOM TUCKER.
200
00:08:56,534 --> 00:08:57,965
AND I'M DIANE SIMMONS.
201
00:08:58,034 --> 00:09:00,332
IT'S A GREAT DAY
TO BE ALIVE, TOM,
ABLE-BODIED OR NOT.
202
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,465
IT SURE IS, DIANE.
203
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:03,099
TODAY WE'LL SEE
SOME OF QUAHOG'S
204
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,932
FINEST ATHLETES STRUGGLE
VALIANTLY AGAINST GOD'S
TWISTED DESIGNS.
205
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:09,632
YOU'LL CHEER, CRY,
MAYBE EVEN GET A
CHEAP LAUGH OR TWO.
206
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:11,165
I KNOW I WILL, TOM.
207
00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:13,366
IN FACT, THERE'S THE
DISTINCT POSSIBILITY
THAT BY THE END
208
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,332
OF THE DAY,
WE'LL ALL BE
GOING TO HELL.
209
00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:16,932
I'LL SEE YOU
THERE, DIANE.
210
00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:19,799
OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE
THE OPENING CEREMONIES
HAVE BEGUN.
211
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:21,465
THERE ARE THE
PARAPLEGICS.
212
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,932
FOLLOWED BY
THE BLIND TEAM.
213
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,565
STILL NO SIGN OF THE
DEAF TEAM, I NOTICE.
214
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:29,932
[Alarms ringing]
215
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:30,998
[Telephones ringing]
216
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,231
[Knocking]
217
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,998
[Man]
HEY! YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA BE LATE!
218
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:35,698
[Man #2]
MAYBE THEY'RE
NOT IN THERE.
219
00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:37,565
[Diane]
AND NOW, WE TURN
OUR ATTENTION
220
00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:39,366
TO THE LIGHTING
OF THE FLAME.
221
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:43,899
[Tom]
AND THESE GAMES
ARE UNDERWAY!
222
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,765
WE BEGIN WITH THE
100-METER DASH
223
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,565
FOR PEOPLE AFRAID
OF YELLOW TAPE.
224
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,732
IT'S ANYBODY'S
RACE NOW, TOM!
225
00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:55,765
UGH!
226
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,798
AND IT'S ODAI
MUTAMBO OF KENYA!
227
00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:59,465
[Crowd cheering]
228
00:09:59,534 --> 00:10:03,165
THE DECATHLON. I DON'T
KNOW. THAT'S QUITE A
MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB, PETER.
229
00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:05,332
JOE, LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME!
230
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,532
DO I HAVE FOOD
IN MY TEETH?
231
00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:07,665
NO.
232
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:09,132
OH, GREAT.
THANK GOD!
233
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,665
N-NOW, LISTEN
HERE, JOE.
234
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,398
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
YOU HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES TO WIN THIS THING.
235
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,565
SO, GET OUT THERE
AND DO IT, HUH?
236
00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,998
THAT GOLD MEDAL IS
MINE, PRETTY BOY.
237
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,999
YOU DON'T HAVE A
CHANCE IN HELL.
238
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:21,364
HE MAY BE
RIGHT, PETER.
239
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:22,665
JOE, HE'S
AN ANDROID.
240
00:10:22,734 --> 00:10:23,998
DON'T LET HIM
PUSH YOU AROUND.
241
00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:25,765
YOU CAN DO THIS.
I KNOW YOU CAN.
242
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,332
YEAH. YEAH!
243
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,531
HEY, YOU THINK YOU'RE
SO HOT, FELLA? WELL, AT
LEAST I CAN DO THIS.
244
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,465
♪[Singing arpeggio]
245
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,165
♪[Singing monotone]
246
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:36,731
OH, CRAP!
247
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,265
LET'S DO IT!
248
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,032
[Tom]
LET'S GO TO THE FIRST
DECATHLON EVENT OF THE DAY,
249
00:10:40,101 --> 00:10:43,331
THE POLE VAULT WHERE
JOE SWANSON TAKES
HIS STARTING POSITION.
250
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,465
YEAH!
251
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:49,999
WAY TO GO, JOE!
252
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,332
YEAH! HOW DO YOU
LIKE THAT, BUDDY?
253
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,932
A SPHINCTER SAYS WHAT.
254
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:54,965
WHAT?
255
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:57,265
[Laughing]
YOU STUPID BASTARD.
256
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:03,532
OH, GOOD TO SEE
YOUR NEW FISCAL
RESPONSIBILITIES
257
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,531
HAVEN'T INTERFERED
WITH YOUR READING.
258
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,632
AH, DOSTOYEVSKY,
259
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,432
THE MAD RUSSIAN.
260
00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:12,466
GOOD STUFF.
GOOD STUFF.
261
00:11:12,534 --> 00:11:15,866
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET
THE $26, AND YOU'RE
DESPICABLE FOR TRYING.
262
00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:17,966
WHAT? OH, OH,
YOU THOUGHT...
263
00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:21,032
I WASN'T TRYING
TO GET THE $26.
264
00:11:21,101 --> 00:11:23,032
I THOUGHT WE WERE
JUST HAVING A PERFECTLY
265
00:11:23,101 --> 00:11:25,299
INNOCENT CONVERSATION
ABOUT LITERATURE.
266
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:27,232
OH, YOU'RE SILLY.
YOU'RE SILLY.
267
00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,732
I--I LOVE THAT YOU'D
GO THERE. YOU'RE--
YOU'RE SILLY.
268
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,032
GOOD-BYE.
269
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:34,598
WE'LL TAKE YOU TO
BULIMIC PIE-EATING
IN JUST A MOMENT.
270
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,166
BUT FIRST, DECATHLON
FRONT-RUNNER
271
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:38,366
JOE SWANSON, WILL
ATTEMPT THE LONG JUMP.
272
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:41,266
COME ON, JOE!
BREAK A WHEEL!
273
00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,531
I'M READY.
LET'S GET IT ON!
274
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,298
[Crowd cheering]
275
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,865
OH, A SHORT JUMP.
THAT'S GONNA KNOCK
HIM OUT OF THE LEAD.
276
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:51,832
TOUGH BREAK.
277
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,333
TOUGH BREAK
IT IS, TOM.
278
00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:55,433
GOOD CONTRIBUTION,
DIANE. IF SWANSON EXPECTS
TO TAKE THE GOLD,
279
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,333
HE'S GOING TO
HAVE TO COME IN FIRST
280
00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:59,232
IN THE FINAL EVENT,
THE 100-METER DASH.
281
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,865
THAT'S OK, JOE.
YOU CAN STILL
WIN THIS THING.
282
00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,233
THAT WAS PATHETIC.
283
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,598
TELL YOUR WIFE TO
COME OVER TO MY PLACE
284
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:08,798
IF SHE WANTS A LITTLE
BOOM-SHACKA-LACKA-
LACKA-LACKA.
285
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,898
BOOM-SHACKA-LACKA-
LACKA-LACKA.
286
00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:13,698
BOOM-SHACKA-LACKA-
LACKA-LACKA-BOOM.
287
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:15,899
PETER, IT'S OVER.
288
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,798
OVER? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
289
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,565
IF I COULDN'T CATCH
A 2-BIT CRIMINAL,
290
00:12:19,634 --> 00:12:21,232
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO WIN A RACE?
291
00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:24,665
HEY, HEY! WHAT KIND
OF TALK IS THAT?
IT'S UN-AMERICAN!
292
00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:29,265
DID--DID GEORGE W. BUSH
QUIT EVEN AFTER LOSING
THE POPULAR VOTE? NO!
293
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,498
DID HE QUIT AFTER
LOSING MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS
294
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:34,998
OF HIS FATHER'S FRIENDS'
MONEY IN FAILED
OIL COMPANIES? NO!
295
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,965
DID HE QUIT AFTER
KNOCKING THAT
GIRL UP? NO!
296
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:41,032
DID HE QUIT AFTER HE
GOT THAT D.U.I.? NO!
297
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,398
DID HE QUIT AFTER GETTIN'
ARRESTED FOR DRUNK
298
00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:45,465
AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT
AT A FOOTBALL GAME?
299
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:46,231
NO!
300
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,198
DID HE QUIT--
301
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,066
I GET THE
MESSAGE, PETER.
302
00:12:55,768 --> 00:12:59,899
♪ AND I CARRY IT WITH
ME LIKE MY DADDY DID ♪
303
00:12:59,968 --> 00:13:05,765
♪ IF YOU'RE GOING MY WAY,
I'LL GO WITH YOU ♪
304
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:09,565
♪ LA-DEE-DEE-DA, MOVING
ME DOWN THE HIGHWAY ♪
305
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:14,731
GEE, PETER! THIS WATER
TASTES KINDA FUNNY.
306
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,865
UH, UH,
307
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,464
YOU MEAN LIKE HA-HA,
JERRY SEINFELD FUNNY
308
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:21,065
OR ELAYNE BOOSLER,
"GOD BLESS HER, SHE'S
TRYING" FUNNY?
309
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,432
RACERS, ON
YOUR MARK!
310
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,932
GO GET 'EM, JOE!
311
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:25,232
GET SET!
312
00:13:27,201 --> 00:13:29,032
[Crowd cheering]
313
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:33,365
[Wheezing]
314
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,665
YEAH!
315
00:13:44,734 --> 00:13:46,899
[Tom]
AND JOE SWANSON
WINS THE GOLD MEDAL!
316
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,266
YOU DID IT, JOE!
317
00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:49,565
WE DID IT, PETER!
318
00:13:58,135 --> 00:13:59,532
MOMMY, LOOK
AT THE LADYBUG!
319
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,598
AHH!
320
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:08,598
[Crying]
321
00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:23,232
[Gasps]
322
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:24,932
[Crowd screaming]
323
00:14:29,234 --> 00:14:30,998
HEY, GREASED LIGHTNING!
DO I KNOW YOU?
324
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,798
JIM KAPLAN, SPORTS AGENT.
YOU LIKE THIS CAR?
325
00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:33,765
YEAH.
326
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:34,898
IT'S YOURS. YOU
LIKE MY PANTS?
327
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:35,898
UH, SURE.
328
00:14:35,967 --> 00:14:37,098
THEY'RE YOURS!
KNOW WHAT A MERKIN IS?
329
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,132
NO.
330
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,398
PUBIC WIG. I GOT
ONE. YOU WANT IT?
331
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,998
NO!
332
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:42,765
OF COURSE YOU DON'T!
YOU'RE A CLASSY GUY!
YOU WANT TO BE RICH?
333
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:43,699
YES!
SIGN HERE.
334
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:47,132
[Tires screeching]
335
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,698
WHAT THE HELL?
336
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:54,531
I JUST-- I DON'T
UNDERSTAND HOW HE COULD
DO THAT WITHOUT ME.
337
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,365
WE WERE GONNA DO
EVERYTHING TOGETHER!
338
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,266
IT WAS ONE
CEREAL AD, PETER.
339
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,165
BESIDES, HE'S THE ONE
WHO WON THE MEDAL.
340
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:01,531
YEAH, I GUESS.
341
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,032
[Announcer]
COMING TO A.B.C.,
342
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,232
THE SIMPLE STORY OF
A MAN AND HIS CHAIR.
343
00:15:05,301 --> 00:15:07,966
ROLLING COURAGE.
THE JOE SWANSON STORY.
344
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,132
WHAT THE
HELL IS THIS?
345
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,732
STARRING TONY
DANZA AS JOE SWANSON.
346
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,298
ONCE A MAN AT
HIS PHYSICAL PEAK
347
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:16,899
BROUGHT DOWN BY A
CRUEL TWIST OF FATE.
348
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:20,632
WHY?
349
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:24,732
WITH VALERIE BERTINELLI
AS BONNIE.
350
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:26,898
JOE, YOU'VE GOT
TO ACCEPT YOUR
LIMITATIONS.
351
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,932
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST ASK ME TO LAY
DOWN AND DIE?
352
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,298
I CAN'T LIVE
LIKE THIS ANYMORE!
353
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,131
THAT'S IT!
354
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,365
THAT'S NOT HOW
IT HAPPENED!
IT WAS MY IDEA!
355
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,531
WITH BEA ARTHUR
AS PETER GRIFFIN.
356
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,398
YOU'LL NEVER
MAKE IT, JOE!
357
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,398
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GIVE UP RIGHT NOW?
358
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:46,599
NO. I'VE GOT
TO TRY!
359
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:48,432
EVEN IF IT'S BY MYSELF.
360
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:51,999
YOU'RE A FOOL,
JOE! A FOOL!
361
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:54,431
ROLLING COURAGE.
THE JOE SWANSON STORY.
362
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,266
FRIDAY ON A.B.C., FOLLOWED
BY DHARMA AND GREG,
363
00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:58,966
BUT YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WATCH THAT.
364
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:01,898
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. JOE
WOULDN'T BE FAMOUS IF
IT HADN'T BEEN FOR ME.
365
00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:03,432
HOW COME HE'S
GETTING ALL THE GLORY?
366
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,699
HE'S HANDICAPPED.
367
00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,498
THAT'S WHAT MAKES
HIS STORY SO
INSPIRATIONAL.
368
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,098
HANDICAPPED...
369
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,498
HMM.
370
00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:10,599
AHH!
371
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:12,598
HOW DID THESE GET UP HERE?
372
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,166
[Chris]
WHAT THE HELL
IS THIS, BRIAN?
373
00:16:19,234 --> 00:16:20,464
IT'S MY NEW
PASSPORT.
374
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:22,199
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING GOING THROUGH
MY MAIL?
375
00:16:22,268 --> 00:16:25,665
YOU WEREN'T PLANNING
ON GOING SOMEWHERE
WITH OUR $26, WERE YOU?
376
00:16:25,733 --> 00:16:29,166
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
I JUST HAD IT RENEWED!
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
377
00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:31,866
LOOK HERE, YOU'RE
OBVIOUSLY TAKING US FOR
SAPS. BUT WE'RE NOT.
378
00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:35,399
NOW, FESS UP, OR I'LL
DO TO YOU WHAT I DID
TO JOHN LENNON.
379
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,598
JOHN, HAVE
YOU MET YOKO?
YOKO, JOHN?
380
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,932
YOU WANT YOUR MONEY?
FINE! I HOPE YOU ALL
KILL EACH OTHER.
381
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:44,398
ALL RIGHT, I KNOW
HOW TO SETTLE THIS.
382
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,999
WHOEVER WANTS THE
MONEY RAISE YOUR HAND!
383
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:48,966
HO! HO! YOU'RE SMARTER
THAN I THOUGHT.
384
00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:51,131
GIVE YOURSELVES A
ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
385
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:52,832
DAMN!
386
00:16:54,834 --> 00:16:58,265
YEAH. HONEY, I'M GONNA BE
A LITTLE LATE TONIGHT. I'VE
GOT A HOOKER COMING OVER.
387
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:01,465
I KNOW IT'S LATE NOTICE.
WHAT ABOUT THE POOL
GUY? HE LIKES YOU.
388
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:03,331
MR. TUCKER,
MR. GRIFFIN'S
HERE TO SEE YOU.
389
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,865
I GOT TO GO.
390
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:07,998
MR. TUCKER, I HAVE
JUST BECOME HANDICAPPED
LIKE JOE SWANSON.
391
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:09,965
AND I DEMAND
COMMERCIAL
ENDORSEMENTS
392
00:17:10,034 --> 00:17:12,998
AND A T.V. MOVIE
BASED ON ME, STARRING
VALERIE "BERTANDERNIE."
393
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,398
BUT, MR. GRIFFIN--
394
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,298
AH, AH! I EVEN GOT
THE FIRST PIECE
YOU'RE GONNA RUN.
395
00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:20,065
EXCLUSIVE VIDEO FOOTAGE
OF MY TRAGIC ACCIDENT.
396
00:17:20,134 --> 00:17:22,732
OH NO! A CAR GOING TOO
FAST TO STOP IN TIME!
397
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:23,999
[Screams]
398
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:28,899
[Crying]
399
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:32,298
I'M HANDICAPPED NOW!
400
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:35,398
MR. GRIFFIN, YOU--YOU
CAN'T POSSIBLY EXPECT
ME TO BELIEVE THIS.
401
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:37,998
THAT WAS CLEARLY
A SCARECROW DRESSED
IN YOUR CLOTHES.
402
00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:38,965
OH, COME ON!
403
00:17:39,034 --> 00:17:41,532
AND WHEN I
FREEZE-FRAME,
404
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,932
THAT'S YOU
DRIVING THE CAR.
405
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:43,965
WELL, THERE'S
YOUR HOOK!
406
00:17:44,034 --> 00:17:44,966
GET OUT.
407
00:17:46,968 --> 00:17:49,232
TODAY WE'RE HERE TO
HONOR JOE SWANSON
408
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,665
FOR PULLING MY POOR
ONE-EYED CAT, BOOTSIE,
409
00:17:51,734 --> 00:17:53,266
OUT OF THE OLD
STOVE PIPE
410
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:55,099
OF MY GRANDMOTHER'S
CABIN.
411
00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:57,499
JOE SWANSON WON THE
SPECIAL PEOPLE'S
412
00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,865
DECATHLON, AND WE'E
HERE TO HONOR HIM.
413
00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:02,865
BACKSTABBER.
OH, PETER.
414
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:05,398
I'M SURE JOE'S
GONNA ACKNOWLEDGE
YOU. YOU'LL SEE.
415
00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,032
JUST DON'T FORGET
OUR DEAL, LOIS.
416
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,332
I SIT THROUGH THIS,
AND LATER TONIGHT
I GET ANAL.
417
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,432
YOU HEAR ME? NO
MATTER HOW NEAT
I WANT THE HOUSE,
418
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,531
YOU HAVE TO CLEAN IT.
419
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,199
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
420
00:18:14,268 --> 00:18:17,166
YOU KNOW, NO ONE CAN WIN
A GOLD MEDAL BY HIMSELF.
421
00:18:17,235 --> 00:18:18,398
IT TAKES FRIENDS.
422
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:19,465
AND I WANT TO
ACKNOWLEDGE
423
00:18:19,534 --> 00:18:21,998
A SPECIAL FRIEND IN
THE AUDIENCE TODAY.
424
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,931
MY FRIEND PETER.
425
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,765
PETER YARROW OF
PETER, PAUL AND MARY!
426
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,598
LET'S GIVE HIM
A HAND, FOLKS.
427
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:28,999
[Cheering]
428
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:33,198
BUT THAT'S NOTHING COMPARED
TO WHAT THIS NEXT MAN DID.
429
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:35,598
HE CHALLENGED ME TO
GO THAT EXTRA MILE.
430
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,798
AND THAT MAN
IS MR. GRIFFIN.
431
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,232
COMEDIAN EDDIE GRIFFIN,
GET UP HERE!
432
00:18:40,301 --> 00:18:41,631
[Cheering]
433
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,598
YOUR ACERBIC
ANTI-WHITE HUMOR
434
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,431
WAS A CONSTANT
INSPIRATION.
435
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,799
THANK YOU, SIR.
436
00:18:47,868 --> 00:18:51,331
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
WHO COULD FORGET THE FAT GUY?
437
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,098
CHEF PAUL PRUDHOMME! YOU
GET YOUR CAJUN ASS UP HERE!
438
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,065
WHY? I DIDN'T
EVEN DO ANYTHING!
439
00:18:57,134 --> 00:19:00,365
THAT'S IT! EXCUSE ME,
BUT THERE'S SOMEONE
ELSE HE DIDN'T THANK!
440
00:19:00,434 --> 00:19:01,899
MR. STEROID!
441
00:19:01,967 --> 00:19:03,331
THAT'S HOW HE WON!
442
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,399
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
443
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:05,898
YES, IT IS.
444
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,199
I PUT STEROIDS IN YOUR
WATER BOTTLE RIGHT
BEFORE THE LAST RACE.
445
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:09,498
[Booing]
446
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,098
I'M SORRY, EVERYBODY.
447
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,698
I'VE LET YOU ALL DOWN.
448
00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:15,298
YES. YOU SUCK.
449
00:19:15,366 --> 00:19:17,798
I RULE. WHO THE MAN?
450
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,898
WHO THE MAN?
WHO THE MAN?
451
00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:26,899
ALL RIGHT. IF ANYONE
TRIES TO LIFT THE GLASS,
THE BELL WILL RING.
452
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:29,632
WELL THEN,
LET'S ALL GO
TO BED.
453
00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,232
OFF WE
GO THEN.
454
00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:36,598
[Thunder rumbling]
455
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:49,132
[All grunting]
456
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,765
STOP!
457
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:52,331
[All grunting]
458
00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:57,532
[All grunting]
459
00:19:58,001 --> 00:19:59,032
OW!
460
00:19:59,101 --> 00:20:00,032
UGH!
461
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,166
[Doorbell ringing]
462
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,465
DID YOU FIND
THE PLACE OK?
463
00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:06,531
NO PROBLEM.
464
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,966
HEY, KIDS!
465
00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:09,999
HMM.
I ONLY HAD SOUP.
466
00:20:10,068 --> 00:20:12,266
I DON'T SEE WHY WE SHOULD
SPLIT THE BILL EVENLY.
467
00:20:12,335 --> 00:20:13,631
WAKE UP!
468
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,831
THIS IS MR. TAYLOR.
HE'S HERE TO CLAIM
THE MONEY CLIP.
469
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:16,798
OH!
470
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:17,732
OH!
471
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,398
UGH!
472
00:20:23,034 --> 00:20:24,665
PETER, YOU SHOULD
GO TALK TO HIM.
473
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:27,032
AFTER ALL, YOU SET
OUT TO MAKE HIM
FEEL BETTER,
474
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:28,632
NOW HE'S WORSE
THAN EVER.
475
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,298
YEAH, I DON'T
KNOW, LOIS.
476
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,866
HE--HE'S PROBABLY OVER
THERE WAITING TO BE
INTERVIEWED BY DAN RATHER
477
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:35,531
OR THAT DREADFUL
GENE SHALIT.
478
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,166
I THINK THOSE DAYS
ARE OVER NOW, PETER.
479
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,765
AH, HEY THERE.
480
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,865
UH, HI, PETER.
481
00:20:45,934 --> 00:20:47,399
LISTEN, JOE, ABOUT
THIS WHOLE MESS--
482
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:48,999
HOLD IT, PETER!
483
00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:54,032
THAT'S THE
CAR-WASH THIEF!
484
00:20:59,701 --> 00:21:01,465
[Tires screeching]
485
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:06,465
HA! HA!
486
00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:07,798
TOUGH LUCK,
WHEELIE!
487
00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:09,499
YEAH, FOR YOU!
488
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,164
I'M JOE,
YOUR WAITER.
489
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,932
TODAY'S SPECIAL
IS JUSTICE,
490
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,099
SERVED COLD,
WITH A SIDE OF JAIL!
491
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:21,598
AND ORDER THE SOUFFLE
NOW, BECAUSE IT TAKES
10 TO 15 YEARS!
492
00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:25,598
HEY, PETER,
493
00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:27,766
I REALLY APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU DID FOR ME.
494
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:29,099
WHAT DO
YOU MEAN?
495
00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:31,431
WELL, THAT SLIMY
AGENT HAD ME
BELIEVING THE HYPE.
496
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,698
I FORGOT IT WAS REALLY
YOU WHO GOT ME TO
BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN.
497
00:21:34,767 --> 00:21:38,066
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
I'M GOING BACK
TO THE FORCE.
498
00:21:38,134 --> 00:21:39,999
GOOD FOR YOU.
499
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:42,065
SAY, UH, WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE
CAR-WASH THIEF?
500
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,098
IRONICALLY, I
SEVERED HIS SPINE
WHEN I LANDED ON HIM.
501
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,365
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT
MORE COMPETITION AT
NEXT YEAR'S GAMES, HUH?
502
00:21:48,434 --> 00:21:49,932
NO, HE'S DEAD.
503
00:21:52,901 --> 00:21:55,099
♪[Theme music playing]