1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,333
HI, I'M
BRIAN GRIFFIN.
2
00:00:03,401 --> 00:00:04,531
AND I'M
STEWART.
3
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,099
MANY OF YOU
HAVE WRITTEN
TO THE SHOW
4
00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:08,199
WITH SUGGESTIONS
FOR EPISODES YOU'D
LIKE TO SEE.
5
00:00:08,268 --> 00:00:09,865
THEY'RE MOSTLY
GOD-AWFUL.
6
00:00:09,934 --> 00:00:11,665
[Recorded laughter]
7
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:15,299
WELL, TONIGHT WE TOOK YOUR
ADVICE AND PRODUCED 3 OF
OUR FAVORITE SUGGESTIONS.
8
00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:16,999
FAVORITES?
OH, THAT'S
CHARITABLE.
9
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:18,565
[Laughter]
10
00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:19,665
WHAT IS THAT?
11
00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:21,099
OH, I GOT THIS FROM
DHARMA AND GREG.
12
00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:22,966
I'M SURPRISED
THERE'S ANYTHING
LEFT IN IT.
13
00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:24,065
[Both]
WHOA!
14
00:00:24,134 --> 00:00:25,932
ENJOY.
15
00:00:26,001 --> 00:00:28,831
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
16
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:32,465
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
17
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,832
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
18
00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:38,866
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
19
00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:42,198
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
20
00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:45,799
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO'LL
POSITIVELY TELL YOU ♪
21
00:00:45,868 --> 00:00:47,264
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
22
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,199
♪ LAUGH 'N' CRY ♪
23
00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:54,165
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
24
00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:06,731
[Announcer]
AND NOW BACK TO
THE NEWLYWED GAME.
25
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,631
OH, CAROL, HOW
DID NICK ANSWER
THE FOLLOWING,
26
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,065
"THE LAST THING
I WOULD EVER
27
00:01:11,134 --> 00:01:12,965
"GIVE MY WIFE
IS 'BLANK'"?
28
00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:14,698
A LITTLE SPENDING
MONEY?
29
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:15,799
[Audience laughing]
30
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,398
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S INCORRECT.
31
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:20,131
NICK ACTUALLY SAID
"THE ANTIDOTE."
32
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,632
NICK, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
33
00:01:22,701 --> 00:01:24,366
OH, MEG,
YOU WERE
RIGHT.
34
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,632
OH, MY GOD!
A GENIE!
35
00:01:28,701 --> 00:01:30,732
I AM HERE TO
GRANT YOU 3 WISHES.
36
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:34,399
PETER, 3 WISHES!
OH, THIS IS
SO EXCITING!
37
00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:35,466
I WANT A NEW HAT!
38
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:36,531
I WANT A NEW HAT!
39
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,065
I WANT THEM TO
HAVE NEW HATS!
40
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:39,899
KIDS, THESE ARE YOUR
FATHER'S WISHES.
41
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,632
GO AHEAD, HONEY.
GET WHATEVER
YOU WANT.
42
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:42,665
OH, THAT'S EASY.
43
00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:43,766
I WISH
I COULD SEE
44
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:45,599
WHAT KELLY RIPA
WAS LIKE OFF THE SET.
45
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,231
SO IT
SHALL BE.
46
00:01:49,201 --> 00:01:50,332
GREAT SHOW
TODAY, KELLY.
47
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,665
THANKS, REG.
YOU, TOO.
48
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,399
MMM-MMM.
49
00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:55,965
[Moans]
50
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:56,932
[Growls]
51
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,498
[Knocking]
52
00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:00,598
HEY, KELLY, GELMAN NEEDS
US ON STAGE FOR A
COUPLE OF RE-SHOOTS.
53
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:03,965
BE RIGHT THERE,
REG. I JUST HAVE
TO PUT ON MY FACE.
54
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:07,065
MY GOODNESS! DID
YOU SEE THE SIZE OF
THAT DRESSING ROOM?
55
00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:08,731
YES. THEY MUST
REALLY WANT
TO KEEP HER.
56
00:02:08,801 --> 00:02:10,166
YOUR 2ND
WISH?
57
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:13,932
I GOT JUST THE THING.
I WISH I HAD MY
OWN THEME MUSIC.
58
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,099
DONE!
59
00:02:18,401 --> 00:02:19,432
I DON'T HEAR
ANYTHING.
60
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,665
GET UP.
TRY IT OUT.
61
00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:22,465
♪[Music playing]
62
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,799
♪[Music following movements]
63
00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:31,165
SWEET.
64
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:34,332
♪[Music playing]
65
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:42,065
♪[Up-tempo music playing]
66
00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:48,132
♪[Sad music playing]
67
00:02:50,934 --> 00:02:52,966
♪[Up-tempo music playing]
68
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:00,599
♪[Funk music playing]
69
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:02,731
YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH.
70
00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:04,398
[Both giggling]
71
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,333
♪[Music playing]
72
00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:12,065
HEY, BUDDY,
WANT TO TURN
THAT STUFF DOWN?
73
00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:14,598
AW, COME ON, PAL.
THAT'S CLASSIC
TRAVELING MUSIC, HUH?.
74
00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:15,765
TRY TO ENJOY IT.
75
00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:17,399
♪ RIDING ON A BUS,
RIDING ON A BUS ♪
76
00:03:17,468 --> 00:03:19,365
♪ SITTING NEXT TO BUMS
THERE'S AN OPEN SEAT ♪
77
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:20,565
♪ HOPE THAT
ISN'T PEE ♪
78
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,432
YEAH, WELL I'M SICK
OF HEARING IT!
79
00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,532
LOOK, I'M SORRY,
BUDDY. I CAN'T
TURN IT OFF.
80
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,499
WELL, THEN I'M
GONNA BREAK EVERY
BONE IN YOUR BODY.
81
00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:29,132
I WISH I HAD
NO BONES!
82
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,198
DONE.
83
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:31,732
AHH!
84
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,999
THAT OUGHT
TO SHOW YOU!
85
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:34,332
[Laughing]
86
00:03:34,401 --> 00:03:35,799
[Screaming]
87
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,999
OH, NO. I GOT TO FART.
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHICH WAY TO LEAN.
88
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:47,332
OK, N-NOW I KNOW
YOU GUYS MIGHT BE
A LITTLE CONCERNED
89
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:48,965
ABOUT ME NOT
HAVING BONES AND ALL.
90
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,599
BUT, UH, I GOT TO
TELL YOU, IT'S
NOT THAT BAD.
91
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,465
DAD'S JUST LIKE
SILLY PUTTY.
92
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,432
LOOK WHAT
I CAN DO TO
MARY WORTH'S
93
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,399
SMUG SENSE OF
SELF-SATISFACTION.
94
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:58,432
[Laughing]
95
00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:00,366
THAT'S RIGHT, SON.
TAKE HER DOWN A PEG.
96
00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:03,266
WELL, I GUESS
WE COULD ALL
ADJUST TO THIS.
97
00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,132
LOOK!
I'M MAKING
AN ANGEL!
98
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,032
SEE, LOIS?
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE FINE.
99
00:04:07,101 --> 00:04:09,065
NOW, SMILE
WHILE I WRITE
MY NAME IN YOU.
100
00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:16,132
AHH!
101
00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:18,364
[Grunting]
102
00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:19,498
LET GO!
103
00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:23,899
[Laughing]
104
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,464
AHH!
105
00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:30,631
[Muffled sounds]
106
00:04:34,235 --> 00:04:36,765
BUT, MOM, I'VE
GOT TO USE THE
BATHROOM NOW!
107
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,832
WELL I'M SORRY,
BUT YOUR FATHER
GETS INCREDIBLY
108
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,432
FILTHY
ROLLING AROUND
EVERYWHERE.
109
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,433
HE JUST HAS
TO TAKE HIS
12 BATHS A DAY.
110
00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:44,365
I DON'T LIKE
DAD ANYMORE!
111
00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:47,465
I INVITED SOME FRIENDS
OVER TO JUMP ON HIM
LIKE A TRAMPOLINE
112
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:50,331
BUT HIS ROLL
OF FAT SUCKED UP
RYAN'S SHOE!
113
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,498
AND HIS MOM
YELLED AT HIM
WHEN HE GOT HOME!
114
00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,032
AND HE BEAT ME
UP AT SCHOOL
THE NEXT DAY!
115
00:04:55,101 --> 00:04:56,731
IT'S ALL HERE
IN THIS PAMPHLET.
116
00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:59,132
KIDS, WE JUST
HAVE TO LEARN
TO ACCEPT THIS.
117
00:04:59,201 --> 00:05:02,065
LIKE ONE OF THOSE
STORIES ON DATELINE
WHERE A FAMILY MEMBER
118
00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:06,199
SUFFERS A HORRIBLE
ACCIDENT AND BECOMES
A BURDEN ON EVERYBODY.
119
00:05:06,268 --> 00:05:10,431
SURE THEY PRETEND TO BE
HAPPY, BUT THEY'RE DEAD
INSIDE. THEY'RE DEAD.
120
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,665
[Lois]
AND THAT'LL BE
OUR LIVES, HMM?
121
00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,132
WHAT A BIG,
BONELESS
JERK I AM!
122
00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:16,932
I MIGHT HAVE
SCREWED UP
MY LIFE
123
00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,932
BUT THERE'S NO
REASON I GOT TO KEEP
SCREWING UP THEIRS.
124
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:22,565
GOOD-BYE, CRUEL,
BONE-FILLED WORLD!
125
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,765
AHH!
126
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,232
[Screaming]
127
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,832
OH, SO THIS IS
WHERE ALL THE WASTE
AND SEWAGE WINDS UP.
128
00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:38,932
AHH!
129
00:05:40,234 --> 00:05:42,832
CUT AND PRINT.
THAT'S A WRAP.
130
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:45,199
GREAT JOB, PETER.
ARE COMING TO THE
WRAP PARTY TONIGHT?
131
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:46,799
AH, GEE, I
DON'T KNOW.
132
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:49,698
I--I GOT A STANDUP
COMEDY CLASS I'M TAKING
AT THE LEARNING ANNEX.
133
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,899
WELL ACTUALLY,
I--I WON'T BE
A STANDUP COMIC,
134
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:54,564
I--I'LL BE MORE LIKE AN
AMORPHOUS-BLOB COMIC.
135
00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:56,266
[Laughing]
I GOTTA WRITE
THAT ONE DOWN!
136
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:59,832
NONSENSE! I'LL HAVE
THE STUDIO SEND A FLATBED
FOR YOU! SEE YOU AT 8:00!
137
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,265
[Sighs]
138
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:12,565
PETER, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SAY
TO YOU ALL EVENING.
139
00:06:12,634 --> 00:06:15,099
WHAT'S THAT,
MRS. CATHERINE
ZETA-JONES-DOUGLAS?
140
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,266
I WANT TO
JUMP YOUR
NON-BONES.
141
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,299
JEEZ! I--I
CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M YOUR TYPE.
142
00:06:19,368 --> 00:06:21,165
WELL, AS YOU
CAN TELL FROM
MY HUSBAND,
143
00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:23,499
I'VE GOT A THING FOR
SAGGY, SHAPELESS MEN.
144
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:27,233
I'M MARRIED TO
CATHERINE ZETA-JONES.
WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME?
145
00:06:27,301 --> 00:06:28,832
OH, YEAH,
I'M GONNA
HAVE TO PASS.
146
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:31,632
BUT LOUIE ANDERSON'S
EATING THE DECORATIVE
SOAPS IN THE BATHROOM.
147
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,398
WHY DON'T
YOU TRY HIM?
148
00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,066
EXCUSE ME.
AREN'T YOU PETER,
THE HUMAN STUNT BAG?
149
00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:38,799
WELL, THAT
ALL DEPENDS ON
WHO'S ASKING.
150
00:06:38,867 --> 00:06:41,398
I'M A DOCTOR,
ABOUT TO CONDUCT AN
EXPERIMENTAL PROCEDURE
151
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,866
TO GIVE BONES
TO A JELLYFISH.
152
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,932
BUT I'D LIKE TO TRY IT
ON A HUMAN FIRST.
INTERESTED?
153
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:45,932
I DON'T KNOW.
154
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:46,932
INTERESTED?
155
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:48,164
DIDN'T YOU
JUST SAY THAT?
156
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,632
YES.
I'LL DO IT!
157
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:54,266
WELL, PETER,
THE OPERATION WAS
A COMPLETE SUCCESS!
158
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:55,565
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO NOW?
159
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,565
WELL, THE WHOLE
REASON I HAD
THE OPERATION
160
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,265
WAS SO I COULD
GO BACK TO
MY FAMILY.
161
00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:02,298
BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
WHAT IF THEY DON'T
LOVE ME ANYMORE?
162
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:05,032
PETER, WHERE DO
YOU THINK ALL THOSE
BONES CAME FROM?
163
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,698
SURPRISE!
164
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:10,099
MY GOD! YOU MEAN,
IT'S YOUR BONES
THAT ARE INSIDE ME?
165
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:13,099
WELL, MOSTLY.
WE PICKED UP A DRIFTER
TO FILL IN THE TORSO.
166
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,498
WELL, LIKE
I ALWAYS SAY,
A FAMILY OF FREAKS
167
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,498
IS BETTER THAN
NO FAMILY AT ALL!
168
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,898
LET'S GO HOME.
169
00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:22,565
YOU KNOW WHAT'S
REALLY WEIRD? THIS WAS
COVERED BY MY H.M.O.
170
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:38,431
HEY, TERRY, YOU
DARE ME TO POP A
WHEELIE IN THIS THING?
171
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,899
WELL THAT DOESN'T
SOUND SAFE AT ALL,
BUT, OK, I DARE YOU.
172
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:42,799
[Tires screeching]
173
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:44,931
WHOO!
174
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,698
WOW! THAT
WAS GREAT!
175
00:07:53,101 --> 00:07:55,132
6! 6 BATS!
176
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,498
7! 7 BATS!
177
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,032
[Laughing]
178
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,265
IS THE COUNT
A VAMPIRE?
179
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,265
WHAT'S THAT?
180
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:03,032
WELL H-HE'S GOT
THOSE BIG FANGS.
181
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,065
HAVE THEY
EVER SHOWN HIM
DOING SOMEBODY IN
182
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,498
AND THEN FEEDING
ON HIM?
183
00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:09,198
YOU'RE--Y-YOU'RE
ASKING IF THEY'VE EVER
DONE A SESAME STREET
184
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:10,765
IN WHICH THE COUNT
KILLS SOMEBODY
185
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,631
AND THEN SUCKS
THEIR BLOOD
FOR SUSTENANCE.
186
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,565
YEAH.
187
00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:15,032
NO, THEY'VE
NEVER DONE THAT.
188
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,598
EVERYBODY COME QUICK!
THERE'S SOMETHING
OUT IN THE YARD!
189
00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:20,398
IT LOOKS LIKE
THE BACK OF A
TANKER TRUCK.
190
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,032
WOW!
191
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,631
WHAT DO YOU
THINK'S INSIDE?
192
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,032
MAYBE IT'S CANDY!
193
00:08:25,101 --> 00:08:26,032
CHRIS, NO!
194
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,265
L-L-LOIS, LOIS,
LET HIM DREAM.
195
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:30,065
[Groaning]
UGH!
196
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,132
AHH!
197
00:08:31,201 --> 00:08:33,099
UCK! WHAT
IS THIS STUFF?
198
00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:34,832
IT'S SOME KIND
OF NUCLEAR WASTE.
199
00:08:34,901 --> 00:08:37,865
TELL ME, DOES
ANYONE ELSE FEEL
A TRIFLE QUEASY?
200
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:38,965
[All scream]
201
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:40,298
WHAT? DO I
HAVE A BOOGIE?
202
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:41,632
[Gasps]
203
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:44,465
I SAY, IT APPEARS
MY CRANIUM HAS
DOUBLED IN SIZE!
204
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,599
HOW DELIGHTFUL!
205
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,498
THIS TOXIC STEW
SEEMS TO HAVE
206
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:53,598
GIVEN ME
TELEKINETIC
ABILITIES.
207
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:56,532
AHH!
208
00:08:57,701 --> 00:08:59,766
HEY! I CAN
MAKE FIRE!
209
00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:01,464
HEY, CHRIS, CHRIS,
COME HERE A SECOND.
210
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:04,265
THIS-THIS IS GONNA BE
HILARIOUS. OK, ON
THE COUNT OF 3.
211
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,265
1, 2, 3.
212
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:07,564
[Farting]
213
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:08,966
[Laughing]
214
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,532
DO IT AGAIN!
215
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,599
[Farting]
216
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,198
[Laughing]
217
00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:15,032
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.
CLEARLY, SOMETHING
218
00:09:15,101 --> 00:09:16,832
VERY STRANGE
HAS HAPPENED HERE.
219
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:20,232
WE EACH SEEM TO HAVE
ACQUIRED SUPERPOWERS
FROM THAT NUCLEAR WASTE.
220
00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:21,998
WE'VE BEEN
GIVEN A GIFT.
221
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:24,765
AND WHETHER
THAT GIFT IS CHRIS'
FIRE CONJURING,
222
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:26,399
STEWIE'S
TELEKINESIS,
223
00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:27,932
BRIAN'S
SUPER SPEED--
224
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,299
ASK ME HOW THE QUEEN
OF ENGLAND IS.
225
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:30,299
HOW'S
THE QUEEN--
226
00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:31,265
SHE'S GREAT.
227
00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:33,199
PETER'S MORPHING
ABILITY...
228
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,298
HEY LOIS, I'M
A WISHING TROLL.
229
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,465
[Laughing]
230
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,298
MY SUPER-STRENGTH,
231
00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:40,866
OR MEG'S, UM,
232
00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:44,299
SUPER-AMAZING
ABILITY TO GROW
HER FINGERNAILS.
233
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:46,432
[Sighs]
234
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,165
WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY
TO USE THESE POWERS PROPERLY
235
00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,899
AND NOT TO ABUSE THEM FOR
PERSONAL GAIN. UNDERSTAND?
236
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:52,865
YES.
YUP.
237
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:53,865
YES.
MM-HMM.
238
00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:54,832
GOT IT.
239
00:09:58,101 --> 00:10:00,565
OH, NO. I FORGOT
THE DETERGENT.
240
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,765
E-EXCUSE ME,
WOULD YOU WATCH
HIM FOR A MOMENT?
241
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:04,832
SURE THING,
MA'AM.
242
00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:07,032
WHOA THERE,
LITTLE GUY. YOU
GOT TO PAY FOR THAT.
243
00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:09,631
GO SUCK A RAILROAD SPIKE.
I HAVEN'T GOT ANY MONEY.
244
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,631
WELL, THEN I AM AFRAID
I AM GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU.
245
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:14,798
UGH! UGH!
246
00:10:14,868 --> 00:10:16,264
UGH! UGH!
247
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:17,899
OH, GOD!
PLEASE HELP ME!
248
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:18,899
UGH!
249
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,032
[Horns honking]
250
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,231
MOVE IT, YOU SLOWPOKE!
THE LIGHT'S GREEN!
251
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:29,166
WHAT DOES THAT CLOUD LOOK
LIKE TO YOU, HONEY? TO
ME IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN!
252
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:30,865
HA!
253
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,333
I USED THAT JOKE AT WORK
TODAY. I'M THE FUNNIEST
GUY AT THE OFFICE.
254
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:34,598
THEY SAY I SHOULD
DO STANDUP.
255
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,398
AH! THIS
IS INSANE!
256
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,298
AH!
257
00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:39,365
NO!
258
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,365
[Gasps]
259
00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:48,298
OH, MY GOD, DAD!
'NSYNC IS IN TOWN.
260
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:50,332
IF YOU CAN GET ME A
LOCK OF JUSTIN'S HAIR
261
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,499
I'LL NEVER ASK YOU
FOR SHOPPING MONEY AGAIN.
262
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:53,899
PLEASE?
263
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:56,999
WELL, WE PROMISED LOIS WE'D
USE OUR POWERS RESPONSIBLY.
264
00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,999
BUT I SUPPOSE DOING
THE EXACT OPPOSITE
COULDN'T HURT.
265
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:06,865
HEY, DO YOU WANT TO
SPLIT A TOBLERONE?
266
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:07,932
OH, GOSH.
267
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:08,731
[Hisses]
268
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,333
YEAH. I THINK
I DO.
269
00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:11,465
[Imitating train whistle]
270
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,199
NEXT STOP,
MY THIGHS!
271
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:18,298
ALL RIGHT, MEG,
WAIT HERE. I'LL
BE RIGHT BACK.
272
00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:20,565
HI THERE.
BRITNEY SPEARS.
YOU MIND IF I GO IN?
273
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:22,266
OH, UH--UH,
NOT AT ALL,
MISS SPEARS.
274
00:11:22,334 --> 00:11:23,999
OH, CALL ME PETER.
275
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,065
HEY THERE,
FELLAS.
276
00:11:25,134 --> 00:11:26,598
BRITNEY?
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
277
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:28,632
OH, YOU KNOW,
I WAS JUST IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
278
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,632
AND, UH, I'M
GONNA STEAL
ONE OF YOUR BEERS,
279
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:34,565
AND, UH, I FIGURED
I'D STOP BY AND SAY HI.
YOU MIND IF I HAVE A SEAT?
280
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:35,632
AH!
281
00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:37,831
I AM OUT
OF SHAPE.
282
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:39,665
SAY, UH, JUSTIN,
I GOT A FAVOR
TO ASK YOU.
283
00:11:39,734 --> 00:11:41,332
WHAT IS IT?
284
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,465
I GOT A HOLE IN MY
CAR'S MUFFLER AND I NEED
SOMETHING TO PLUG IT WITH.
285
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:44,665
CAN I HAVE SOME
OF YOUR HAIR?
286
00:11:44,734 --> 00:11:45,698
UM, I GUESS SO.
287
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:47,133
OH, GREAT.
THANKS.
288
00:11:47,201 --> 00:11:48,832
ALL RIGHT, HOLD
STILL NOW.
289
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:51,166
[Screaming]
290
00:11:51,235 --> 00:11:53,765
AH, YOU'LL BE FINE.
HEY, COME HERE.
GIVE ME A KISS.
291
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:55,432
AHH!
292
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:56,332
[Laughing]
293
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:59,365
I'M GENE SHALIT NOW! BYE!
294
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:02,531
HERE'S YOUR
MARTINI, MA'AM.
295
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,565
THANKS.
296
00:12:03,634 --> 00:12:04,765
HEY,
IT'S GONE!
297
00:12:04,834 --> 00:12:07,231
OH, I'M SORRY,
MA'AM. HERE'S
ANOTHER ONE.
298
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,332
WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?
299
00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:13,899
HI. CAN I GET
SOME PRETZELS
OR SOMETHING?
300
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:15,932
I--I--'CAUSE
I GOTTA--
I GOTTA DRIVE.
301
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:18,932
WHOA, HEY, DID YOU
BRING ENOUGH BREASTS
FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS?
302
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:20,365
[Laughing]
303
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:27,098
HEY, HECTOR,
HOW LONG HAVE WE
KNOWN EACH OTHER?
304
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:28,098
SINCE FIRST
GRADE.
305
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,498
YEAH,
YEAH.
306
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:32,498
YOU REMEMBER THAT
TIME YOU CALLED ME
"CHRIS GRISTLE"?
307
00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:33,598
I THINK SO.
308
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:35,299
WELL,
BURN FOR IT!
309
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:36,765
[Screaming]
310
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,866
IT'S A BIRD,
IT'S A PLANE,
311
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:45,099
IT'S A LOWER-MIDDLE-
CLASS IRISH FAMILY.
312
00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:46,266
THAT'S RIGHT,
TOM.
313
00:12:46,335 --> 00:12:48,266
THIS IS ONE
OF MANY PUBLIC
DISTURBANCES
314
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,333
CAUSED BY THE
GRIFFIN FAMILY
OF QUAHOG
315
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,532
WHO SEEM TO
HAVE ACQUIRED
SUPERPOWERS.
316
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,998
VERY STRANGE
STORY, DIANE.
317
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,931
COMING UP NEXT,
CAN BEES THINK?
318
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,699
A NEW STUDY CONFIRMS
THAT, NO, THEY CANNOT.
319
00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:03,232
CITIZENS OF
QUAHOG, WE HAVE
A PROBLEM!
320
00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:05,632
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
WE DO! PETER GRIFFIN
STOLE MY HAIR!
321
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:06,631
SETTLE DOWN,
JEFFREY!
322
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,065
JUSTIN.
323
00:13:08,134 --> 00:13:10,465
MIKE. CLEARLY,
THE GRIFFIN FAMILY
IS OUT OF CONTROL.
324
00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:13,432
BUT NOT TO FEAR.
I'VE TANGLED WITH
SUPER-BEINGS BEFORE.
325
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,232
AND THEY CAN
BE STOPPED!
326
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,499
YOU CAN'T
STOP US,
MAYOR WEST!
327
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,365
WE ARE
ALL-POWERFUL!
328
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:23,632
CLEARLY, YOU'VE LET
YOURSELVES BECOME
DRUNK WITH POWER.
329
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:24,865
SILENCE!
330
00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:27,066
WE DEMAND OBEDIENCE!
331
00:13:27,134 --> 00:13:28,665
OR ELSE!
332
00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:30,066
IS THAT ALL
YOU CAN DO?
333
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:32,364
OW! THAT
KIND OF HURT!
334
00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:35,498
IS THAT BLEEDING? WELL,
I GUESS IT'S ALL RIGHT.
OUCH, THOUGH.
335
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:38,765
ANYONE WHO
OPPOSES OUR DEMANDS
WILL BE DESTROYED.
336
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:40,199
OUR FIRST DEMAND,
337
00:13:40,268 --> 00:13:42,698
YOU WILL ERECT A STATUE
IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
338
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:43,865
THIS STATUE WILL DEPICT
339
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,998
BLAIR WARNER ADMITTING
TO MRS. GARRETT THAT
340
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,466
THE POEM SHE SUBMITTED FOR
HER CREATIVE-WRITING CLASS
341
00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:51,532
WAS ACTUALLY
PLAGIARIZED FROM A
WORK BY EMILY DICKINSON.
342
00:13:51,601 --> 00:13:52,799
WE HAVE SPOKEN!
343
00:13:52,868 --> 00:13:53,866
AHH!
344
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,398
[Meg screams]
345
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,832
THAT'S IT! WE
HAVE TO FIGHT
FIRE WITH FIRE.
346
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,366
IF NUCLEAR REFUSE
GAVE THEM SUPERPOWERS,
347
00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:03,466
IT COULD DO
THE SAME FOR ME.
348
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:06,665
CITIZENS, I'M OFF
TO THE TOXIC
WASTE DUMP!
349
00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:07,932
[Crowd cheering]
350
00:14:08,934 --> 00:14:10,631
[Tires screeching]
351
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:16,198
MAYOR WEST,
YOU HAVE
LYMPHOMA.
352
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,632
OH, MY!
353
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:19,799
PROBABLY FROM
ROLLING AROUND IN
THAT TOXIC WASTE.
354
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:21,066
I SEE.
355
00:14:21,135 --> 00:14:22,899
WHAT IN GOD'S NAME
WERE YOU TRYING
TO PROVE?
356
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:25,166
I WAS TRYING TO
GAIN SUPERPOWERS.
357
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:26,498
WELL, THAT'S
JUST SILLY.
358
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:28,898
SILLY, YES.
IDIOTIC, YES.
359
00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:36,799
NO, NO! THAT'S NOT
WHAT MRS. GARRETT'S
BOSOM LOOKED LIKE.
360
00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:38,865
IT LOOKED
MORE LIKE THIS.
361
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,498
NOTICE THE SUN SPOTS
AT THE TOP OF THE RIGHT CAN.
362
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:44,699
EXCUSE ME. I HAVE
A MESSAGE FROM THE
QUAHOG HOSPITAL.
363
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,832
WELL I JUST
FEEL AWFUL ABOUT
THIS, MAYOR WEST.
364
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,199
YEAH. ME, TOO.
STEWIE, FLUFF
HIS PILLOWS.
365
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,298
I'LL HEAT UP
HIS SOUP.
366
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:58,432
AND I'LL GO TO CHINA
TO SEE IF THERE'S
A CURE. NOPE.
367
00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:01,332
NOW, NOW. THE DOCTOR
SAYS I'M GONNA MAKE
A FULL RECOVERY.
368
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,599
THE IMPORTANT THING IS,
YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.
369
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:07,199
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE
LET THOSE SUPERPOWERS
GO TO OUR HEADS.
370
00:15:07,268 --> 00:15:09,465
I FEEL LIKE
SUCH A BASTARD.
371
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,165
ME, TOO.
372
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:13,332
WELL, FOR NOW, WE ARE
GONNA USE OUR POWERS
TO HELP YOU GET BETTER.
373
00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:14,332
THANK YOU.
374
00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:16,266
BUT AS LONG AS I
HAVE MRS. GARRETT'S
375
00:15:16,334 --> 00:15:19,199
GIANT RACK BY MY BEDSIDE,
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
376
00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:22,065
GIRLS! GIRLS!
GIRLS!
377
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:23,498
[Laughing]
378
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:38,999
HEAR YE,
HEAR YE.
379
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:42,498
I CALL TO ORDER THE
FIRST MEETING OF THE
WE HATE BROADS CLUB.
380
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:43,899
YEAH!
381
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:46,099
BECAUSE ALL YOU
NEED IN LIFE IS
YOUR BEST PALS.
382
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,366
SURE! AS LONG
AS THOSE PALS
AIN'T DAMES!
383
00:15:48,435 --> 00:15:49,698
O-TAY!
384
00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:50,699
[Creaking]
385
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,299
WHAT WAS THAT?
386
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,399
HEY, I THOUGHT WE
TOLD YOU GUYS TO QUIT
SNOOPING AROUND HERE!
387
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:57,165
WELL, WE NEED
TO FIND A STORY
IF I'M EVER
388
00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:58,799
GONNA BE
A BIG-TIME
REPORTER, MAN.
389
00:15:58,867 --> 00:16:00,231
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
390
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:04,665
MAKE LIKE SIAMESE
TWINS AND SPLIT, AND
THEN ONE OF YOU DIE.
391
00:16:04,734 --> 00:16:07,899
WHEN DO WE HAVE THE
GRAPE JUICE? I CAME
FOR THE GRAPE JUICE.
392
00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,798
HEY, QUAGMIRE,
WATCH THIS.
393
00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:15,832
HEY,
"KICK ME"!
394
00:16:15,901 --> 00:16:16,832
OW!
395
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,431
[Bell ringing]
396
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,231
BOYS AND GIRLS, WE
HAVE A NEW STUDENT
JOINING US THIS MORNING.
397
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,899
HER NAME IS
LOIS PEWTERSCHMIDT.
398
00:16:22,968 --> 00:16:25,399
AH, JUST
WHAT WE NEED,
ANOTHER GIRL.
399
00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:26,399
YOU SAID IT!
400
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:31,065
WOW, I'D LIKE
TO PLAY DOCTOR
WITH HER
401
00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,999
AND--AND REMOVE
HER INFLAMED
APPENDIX
402
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:35,099
BEFORE IT BURSTS,
CAUSING SEPSIS.
403
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:37,531
GIGGIDY-GIGGIDY-GIGGIDY!
404
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,565
[Springing sound]
405
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:41,132
HEY LOIS,
WHAT YOU
READING?
406
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,799
THE RED BADGE
OF COURAGE.
407
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,431
[Sighs]
408
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,765
I SURE WISH I COULD
MEET A BRAVE FELLOW
LIKE THE GUY IN THIS BOOK.
409
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:49,032
YOU KNOW, UH,
I'M A BRAVE
GUY, LOIS.
410
00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:51,899
OH, YEAH? I BET YOU'RE
NOT BRAVE ENOUGH
TO LAUGH AT DEATH!
411
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:52,832
WATCH ME.
412
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,232
[Laughing]
413
00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:57,032
OH, THANKS! LIKE I DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH TROUBLE FITTING IN!
414
00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:59,531
I BET YOU'RE NOT
BRAVE ENOUGH TO TAKE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES OFF!
415
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,331
WAY AHEAD
OF YOU. OW!
416
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,331
WELL, I BET YOU'RE
TOO CHICKEN TO SPEND
417
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,399
A NIGHT AT THE
OLD SELBERG PLACE.
418
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:07,698
UH, CLEVELAND,
YOU MIND
419
00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:08,799
STEPPING OUT
OF THE WAY?
420
00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:09,865
OH, SORRY.
421
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:14,732
WELL, I AIN'T
CHICKEN TO SPEND
THE NIGHT THERE!
422
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:15,965
WELL, I AIN'T
NEITHER!
423
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,099
AND TO PROVE IT,
I'M GOING UP
THERE TONIGHT!
424
00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:19,465
SEE YOU
THERE, PAL!
425
00:17:19,534 --> 00:17:21,032
YOU CAN'T
STAY IN
THAT HOUSE!
426
00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:23,732
OLD MAN
SELBERG'S GHOST
STILL HAUNTS IT.
427
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,032
NOT TO MENTION THE
MYRIAD OF BACTERIA AND
ALLERGENS FROM YEARS
428
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,665
OF SUBSTANDARD
HOUSEKEEPING. IT DOES
NOT AUGUR WELL FOR YOU.
429
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,032
AH, ZIP IT,
EGGHEAD.
430
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,232
YOU WITH YOUR
BIG WORDS
AND YOUR--
431
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,198
AND YOUR SMALL,
DIFFICULT WORDS.
432
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:40,299
WOW. ANY BOY WHO WOULD
SPEND THE NIGHT IN
THAT CREEPY PLACE
433
00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:43,699
SURE WOULD BE THE
BRAVEST FELLOW
I EVER MET.
434
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,965
THAT LOIS IS
SOME KIND
OF WOMAN.
435
00:17:46,034 --> 00:17:49,699
YEAH. JUST THINKING
ABOUT HER MAKES MY
TESTICLES WANT TO DROP.
436
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:52,466
OOPS! SPEAK OF
THE DEVIL. OOPS,
MAKE THAT DEVILS.
437
00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:03,099
ALL RIGHT. QUAGMIRE'S
TEAM WILL TAKE THE
LEFT SIDE OF THE HOUSE.
438
00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:04,865
AND PETER'S
TEAM WILL
TAKE THE RIGHT.
439
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:07,965
AND WHOEVER'S
ALIVE IN THE MORNING
CAN BURY HIS DEAD PALS.
440
00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:10,399
DO I HAVE
A COBWEB
IN MY HAIR?
441
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:13,233
IT FEELS LIKE
I HAVE A COBWEB
IN MY HAIR.
442
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,632
[Howling]
443
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,532
WHAT WAS
THAT?
444
00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:21,899
OH, IT'S JUST
MICHAEL WINSLOW
FROM POLICE ACADEMY.
445
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,098
[Barking]
446
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,164
[Imitating ape]
447
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,298
[Imitating helicopter]
448
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:27,966
[Trumpeting]
449
00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:29,032
[Baaing]
450
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,398
[Imitating submarine]
451
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:31,865
[Screaming]
452
00:18:33,334 --> 00:18:35,365
THIS HOUSE
GIVES ME
THE CREEPS.
453
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:36,832
YEAH. LET'S
GET OUT
OF HERE.
454
00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:39,364
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE CAN'T LET
THOSE GUYS WIN.
455
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:42,098
WHAT WE OUGHT
TO DO IS PRETEND
WE'RE GHOSTS, SEE?
456
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,165
AND THEN WE'LL
SCARE THE OTHER GUYS
OUT OF THE HOUSE.
457
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:46,232
THEN WE CAN
SAY THAT WE
SPENT THE NIGHT.
458
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,932
AND EVERYONE WILL
THINK THAT WE'RE THE
BRAVEST KIDS IN THE WORLD.
459
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:50,032
ESPECIALLY
LOIS.
460
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,065
[Laughing]
461
00:18:51,134 --> 00:18:52,066
ALL RIGH...
462
00:18:52,134 --> 00:18:53,565
[Laughing]
463
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:54,865
...IGHT!
464
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,065
[Laughing]
465
00:18:59,367 --> 00:19:01,532
HEY, I GOT A
GREAT IDEA!
466
00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:03,932
THIS'LL REALLY SCARE
THEM. EVERYBODY SET?
467
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:04,899
CHECK!
468
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:05,832
CHECK!
469
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:07,465
[Laughing]
SOCK IT TO ME!
470
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:09,999
WHOA!
471
00:19:12,268 --> 00:19:14,798
[Mayor West]
IF WE ONLY HAD A TEACUP,
THIS'D BE LIKE PLAYING
472
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:17,965
FIND THE TEACUP IN THE
BED SHEET, LIKE I DO
WITH MY AUNT SOPHIA.
473
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,899
AHH!
AHH!
474
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,465
MY GOD! NOT ONLY
ARE GHOSTS REAL,
475
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:36,532
BUT THEIR INNARDS
ARE MADE OF CHILDREN.
476
00:19:36,601 --> 00:19:37,932
PETER,
IT'S US!
477
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,599
[Voice]
WHOO-OO!
478
00:19:41,534 --> 00:19:43,065
SAY, THAT'S
A NICE EFFECT.
479
00:19:43,134 --> 00:19:44,599
YEAH. THAT'S
REALLY SCARY.
480
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:48,099
WAIT A SECOND.
IF YOU'RE THERE,
AND I'M HERE,
481
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,598
AND ISTANBUL IS
SOMEWHERE IN THIS
GENERAL AREA,
482
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:51,899
THEN WHO THE
HELL IS THAT?
483
00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:53,332
[Screaming]
484
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,599
WHOO-OO!
485
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,166
[All screaming]
486
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,232
HA! GET USED TO THIS
SIGHT, DIANE. GUYS
RUNNING AWAY FROM YOU.
487
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,798
TOM, YOU'RE
SO DEEP IN
THE CLOSET,
488
00:20:03,867 --> 00:20:05,432
YOU'RE FINDING
CHRISTMAS
PRESENTS.
489
00:20:05,501 --> 00:20:07,032
[All screaming]
490
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,399
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, REMEMBER
OUR STORY.
491
00:20:10,468 --> 00:20:12,399
WE TELL LOIS
THAT WE BOTH
STAYED ALL NIGHT.
492
00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,232
AND I CAUGHT
THE GHOST
WITH MY LASSO.
493
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,098
YEAH! YEAH! AND I
PUNCHED HIM SO HARD,
494
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,098
HE RAN CRYING ALL
THE WAY BACK TO HELL!
495
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:21,166
SHE'LL HAVE TO
BELIEVE THAT. IT HANGS
TOGETHER SO PERFECTLY.
496
00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:23,365
OUR TOP
STORY TODAY,
COWARDLY KIDS
497
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,498
LAY DOWN RUBBER
AT THE OLD
SELBERG PLACE.
498
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:26,899
WAIT--W-WAIT.
TURN THAT UP.
499
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:29,132
PETER GRIFFIN AND
GLEN QUAGMIRE
WERE SEEN BOLTING--
500
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,965
[Louder]
WERE SEEN BOLTING
OUT OF THE
501
00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:33,865
SUPPOSEDLY HAUNTED
HOUSE AFTER JUST
ONE HALF-HOUR,
502
00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:37,266
LEAVING ONLY THEIR PRIDE
AND TWIN TRAILS OF
URINE BEHIND THEM.
503
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:40,432
AH, CHEESE AND
CRACKERS! NOW LOIS'LL
KNOW EVERYTHING!
504
00:20:40,501 --> 00:20:42,232
NOT IF I
CAN HELP IT!
505
00:20:42,301 --> 00:20:43,966
BRRING!
BRRING!
506
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:44,899
NEWSROOM.
507
00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:46,698
HELLO. THIS IS
PETER GRIFFIN.
508
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,366
YOU'D BETTER STOP SAYING
THAT STUFF OR WE'RE GONNA
WATCH SOMETHING ELSE!
509
00:20:49,435 --> 00:20:52,998
TODAY ON THE VIEW,
COOTIES, THE SILENT KILLER.
510
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:58,565
UH, LOIS?
THERE'S SOMETHING
WE GOT TO TELL YOU.
511
00:20:58,633 --> 00:20:59,598
YEAH.
512
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,465
WE DIDN'T STAY IN
THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
513
00:21:01,533 --> 00:21:02,765
WE'RE NOT BRAVE.
514
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:05,465
OH, I'VE DECIDED
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT BRAVERY.
515
00:21:05,534 --> 00:21:06,665
[Both]
YOU DON'T?
516
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:11,231
NO. I REALIZED WHAT I
REALLY LIKE IS SMARTS.
517
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,632
SORRY I'M LATE, DARLING.
I WAS CHECKING MY
STOOL FOR BLOOD.
518
00:21:14,701 --> 00:21:16,066
[Both]
MORT GOLDMAN!
519
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:18,531
HE'S SO CLEVER!
SHOW THEM, MORTY!
520
00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:22,498
WHOO-OO!
521
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:24,665
[Both scream]
522
00:21:26,566 --> 00:21:27,899
[Both scream]
523
00:21:29,068 --> 00:21:30,498
HE GOT US
AGAIN!
524
00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:33,565
AH, THIS WHOLE THING
JUST SHOWS THAT WOMEN
ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!
525
00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:36,598
YOU SAID IT! LET'S
YOU AND ME SWEAR
OFF THEM FOR GOOD!
526
00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:37,965
AND HOW!
527
00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:45,198
I SAY, QUAGMIRE, IT SEEMS
TO ME WE'VE EACH MADE
ANOTHER $500 MILLION.
528
00:21:45,266 --> 00:21:47,665
GOOD THING WE SWORE
OFF WOMEN SO WE
WOULDN'T BE DISTRACTED
529
00:21:47,734 --> 00:21:49,965
AND UNABLE TO
ACCUMULATE THIS VAST
AMOUNT OF WEALTH.
530
00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,431
YES. HEY YOU
WATCH THE TICKER.
531
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,498
I'M GONNA MICROWAVE
A BAGEL AND HAVE
SEX WITH IT.
532
00:21:53,567 --> 00:21:55,232
BUTTER'S IN
THE FRIDGE!
533
00:21:57,201 --> 00:21:59,431
♪[Theme music playing]