1
00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:05,866
THANKS FOR
BABY-SITTING, MEG.
2
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:07,398
WE'LL BE BACK
IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.
3
00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:09,966
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY I HAVE TO
BABY-SIT STEWIE.
4
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:11,465
I MEAN, WHAT'S HE
REALLY GONNA DO
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,765
IF WE LEAVE HIM
BY HIMSELF?
6
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,498
AND NOW TO TEST
MY TELEPORTATION PODS.
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,498
[machine beeping]
8
00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,565
[alarm blaring]
OH, DAMN!
9
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:24,698
[screaming]
10
00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:27,432
I'M A MONSTER!
11
00:00:27,501 --> 00:00:30,932
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
12
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:34,198
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
13
00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:37,698
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
14
00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:40,866
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
15
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:44,199
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
16
00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:47,498
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO
POSITIVELY CAN DO ♪
17
00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:49,132
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
18
00:00:49,201 --> 00:00:50,899
♪ LAUGH AND CRY ♪
19
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:55,832
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
20
00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:06,866
SO, UM, THIS, IS,
UH, AWKWARD,
21
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,465
BUT, UH, HAVE--HAVE
WE EVER ACTUALLY,
YOU KNOW,
22
00:01:09,534 --> 00:01:10,665
MET?
23
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,899
I MEAN, Y-YOU KNOW,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW, SAY,
24
00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:15,332
FOR EXAMPLE,
IF YOU HAVE
A ROOM UP THERE.
25
00:01:15,401 --> 00:01:17,299
YOU KNOW, A ROOM?
26
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:19,332
I HAVE A ROOM.
27
00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:22,399
YOU KNOW, MEG,
IF YOU KILL YOURSELF NOW,
28
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:24,899
YOU'LL PROBABLY
GET A FULL PAGE
IN THE YEARBOOK.
29
00:01:24,967 --> 00:01:27,732
SO, UM, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S SOMETHING
TO THINK ABOUT.
30
00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:29,199
[burps]
OH, JUST BURPED.
31
00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:30,464
[doorbell rings]
32
00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:31,532
HI, MEG.
33
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,532
[lisping]
YOU BUSY SATURDAY NIGHT?
34
00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:35,366
NEIL, YOU ASK ME OUT,
LIKE, ONCE A DAY,
35
00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:37,165
AND I ALWAYS GIVE YOU
THE SAME ANSWER.
36
00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:38,366
NO!
37
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:40,698
GOD, I DON'T THINK
I COULD HAVE BEEN
ANY CLEARER
38
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,098
THE LAST TIME
I TURNED HIM DOWN.
39
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,632
RAY, YOUR MOTHER INSULTED
MY STEAK PIZZOLA AGAIN.
40
00:01:45,701 --> 00:01:48,165
NEIL GOLDMAN OF QUAHOG,
RHODE ISLAND,
41
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,966
LEAVE ME ALONE!
42
00:01:50,034 --> 00:01:52,999
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
43
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:54,699
ANYWAY,
YOUR MOTHER INSULTED--
44
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,232
I DON'T CARE
ANYMORE, PATTY.
45
00:01:56,301 --> 00:01:58,732
AFTER 9 SEASONS,
I JUST DON'T CARE.
46
00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:01,432
MAYBE YOU COULD TRY
NOT BEING A BITCH.
47
00:02:09,101 --> 00:02:11,165
HEY, MORT.
UH, LOIS AND I ARE OUT
ON OUR DATE NIGHT.
48
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:12,532
UH, WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE ME SOME CONDOMS?
49
00:02:12,601 --> 00:02:13,732
A-AND SOME EXCEDRIN.
50
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,631
MY WIFE'S GOT
A HEADACHE THIS BIG.
51
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,932
YOU KNOW, IT'S-- IT'S LIKE
FROM THE COMMERCIAL.
52
00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,333
THIS BIG.
ONLY--ONLY IT'S MY JUNK.
53
00:02:21,401 --> 00:02:24,298
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
$12.43.
54
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,366
OH, JEEZ, THAT'S MORE
OF A RIP-OFF THAN THAT
BREAKFAST MACHINE I BOUGHT.
55
00:02:50,134 --> 00:02:51,132
[gun fires]
56
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,565
OW! OW!
57
00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,565
WHAT WAS THE POINT
OF ALL THAT?
58
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,665
[groans]
59
00:02:56,734 --> 00:02:58,565
ALL IT DOES
IS SHOOT YOU.
60
00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,565
IT DOESN'T MAKE
BREAKFAST AT ALL.
61
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:01,665
[groaning]
62
00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:03,165
BESIDES, I FORGOT MY WALLET.
63
00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:05,498
WELL, THAT'S OK.
I'LL JUST OPEN UP A TAB.
64
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:06,899
WAIT A MINUTE,
WHAT THE HELL'S A TAB?
65
00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:08,298
DOES THAT MEAN
I DON'T GOTTA PAY?
66
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:09,398
WELL, NOT
RIGHT NOW, BUT--
67
00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:11,099
OH, SWEET!
68
00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:13,065
HEY, WHILE I'M AT IT,
GIVE ME ALL THESE
COPIES OF MARIE CLAIRE.
69
00:03:13,134 --> 00:03:15,099
YOU KNOW, IN CASE I WANT
TO RUB OUT THAT EASY ONE
70
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,532
BEFORE I GET LOIS
INTO BED TONIGHT.
71
00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:18,898
KATHLEEN TURNER'S
ON PAGE 45.
72
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,432
KATHLEEN TURNER, HUH?
73
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,932
LET'S SEE HOW SHE LOOKS.
74
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,232
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
75
00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,431
(male host)
AND NOW BACK
TO THE KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS
76
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,331
WITH HOST PAULA POUNDSTONE.
77
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,265
I CHOOSE YOU AND YOU AND YOU.
78
00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:33,465
SO, COME ON.
79
00:03:34,701 --> 00:03:36,232
I SAID, LET'S GO!
80
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,465
[kids whining]
81
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,032
[whimpering]
82
00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,266
(Stewie)
MEG!
83
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,598
MEG, I'M HUNGRY!
84
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,865
THERE'S A GRANOLA BAR
IN THE CUPBOARD.
85
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,032
I WANT IT.
86
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:50,965
HEY.
87
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,266
HEY.
88
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,698
WHAT'S THIS?
89
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,065
WHAT'S GOING ON?
90
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,431
AM I TALKING TO MYSELF
UP THERE?
91
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:57,531
OH, MY GOD.
92
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,565
STEWIE, JUST SHUT UP
AND GO TO BED!
93
00:03:59,634 --> 00:04:01,132
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO, MEG?
94
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,932
I SPIT IN YOUR MOUTH
WHILE YOU SLEEP.
95
00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,431
FINALLY. LOOK, MOM,
I'VE HAD IT.
96
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,165
I AM NOT
BABY-SITTING ANYMORE.
97
00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:10,632
IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT,
I COULD BE OUT
HAVING A LIFE.
98
00:04:10,701 --> 00:04:13,232
MEG, IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO BABY-SIT ANYMORE,
THAT'S FINE.
99
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,565
BUT DON'T YOU
STAND THERE
AND LIE TO ME.
100
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:18,099
[chuckling]
OH, MEG, SHE TORCHED
YOUR ASS, MAN.
101
00:04:18,168 --> 00:04:19,532
SHE TORCHED YOUR ASS.
102
00:04:19,601 --> 00:04:21,965
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST
HIRE A REAL BABY-SITTER?
103
00:04:22,034 --> 00:04:23,598
WELL, I GUESS
WE COULD DO THAT.
104
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,832
DAMN! I'M TERRIBLE
AT MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
105
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,798
LIKE THE TIME
I WAS ON BLIND DATE.
106
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,599
I'M HAVING
A GREAT TIME, STEWIE.
107
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:30,632
ME, TOO.
108
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:32,898
SO, YOU READY
TO GO GRAB SOME 'ZA?
109
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,365
UH, YEAH.
110
00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,431
[beeping]
111
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,699
SO, UH, A WILD GUESS HERE
112
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:44,899
BUT FROM THE LOOKS
OF YOUR ARM HAIR,
I'M GUESSING YOU'RE ITALIAN?
113
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,665
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
I GOT 8 CRATES
OF IPECAC FROM MORT,
114
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:53,865
ALL ON MY TAB.
115
00:04:53,934 --> 00:04:55,865
NOW, WHOEVER GOES THE LONGEST
WITHOUT PUKING
116
00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:58,032
GETS THE LAST PIECE
OF PIE IN THE FRIDGE.
117
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,465
OK, HERE WE GO.
118
00:05:03,201 --> 00:05:04,498
HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?
119
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:05,798
GOOD.
GOOD SO FAR.
120
00:05:05,868 --> 00:05:07,199
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
121
00:05:07,268 --> 00:05:08,299
NOTHING YET.
122
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:09,999
COOL, COOL.
123
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,132
YOU KNOW,
I--I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS
HAD ANY OF THAT PIE ALREADY,
124
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,132
BUT THAT IS, UH,
THAT IS SOME TASTY STUFF.
125
00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:16,465
THAT'S FROM THE, UH,
BAKE SALE THAT LOIS--
126
00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:21,131
OOH, ONE DOWN.
I KNOW SOMEBODY WHO
WON'T BE HAVING ANY--
127
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:24,665
I'M STARTING
TO FEEL FUNNY.
128
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,232
WELL, I FEEL FINE.
I GUESS I'M--
129
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,331
OH, BOY!
THAT MEANS I WIN.
I GET TO EAT--
130
00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,232
[gasping]
131
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,998
OH, GOD! WHY DIDN'T
ANYBODY TELL ME...
132
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,798
OH, MY GOD!
MY INSIDES ARE ON--
133
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,099
NO. NO, PLEASE.
NO MORE, NO MORE. NO--
134
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:48,532
DAD, I'M SCARED.
135
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,798
GET THE PHONE.
CALL 911--
136
00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:55,364
LOIS! LOIS! LOIS,
GET IN HERE...
137
00:05:55,867 --> 00:05:56,898
[gasps]
138
00:05:56,967 --> 00:06:00,265
[panting]
OK, OK. I THINK IT'S ALL GONE.
139
00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:01,332
I THINK--
140
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,965
[crying]
I DON'T WANNA,
I DON'T WANNA...
141
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,565
PETER. PETER,
I NEED YOU
TO HOLD MY EARS...
142
00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:12,331
OH, OH.
143
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:17,099
[all groaning]
144
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,431
WHO WANTS CHOWDER?
145
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:24,698
WHAT THE HELL?
146
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:26,499
HEY, MEG,
YOU BETTER CHECK THIS OUT.
147
00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,066
[airplane engine whirring]
[gasps]
148
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:50,098
OH, GOD, THIS IS
SO EMBARRASSING.
149
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,965
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.
150
00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:55,332
OH, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE
COULD USE A GREETING CARD
TO CHEER THEM UP.
151
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,665
I PUT THESE ON MY TAB.
152
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:57,932
HERE, TAKE A FAR SIDE ONE.
153
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,999
THE VULTURE THINKS
HE'S A COWBOY.
154
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:02,899
IT'S KIND OF FUNNY.
155
00:07:02,968 --> 00:07:04,565
HEY, PETER,
YOU GOT A CARD FOR
156
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:06,498
IF YOU TRANSFERRED V.D.
TO SOMEBODY?
157
00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:08,165
UH, LET'S SEE HERE, UH...
158
00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:11,032
YUP. "SORRY
I ACCIDENTALLY
GAVE YOU V.D."
159
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,865
OH, THAT'S ALL YOU GOT
IS ACCIDENTAL, HUH?
160
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,166
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE IT.
161
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,832
WELL, FIRST LET ME THANK YOU
FOR ANSWERING THE AD.
162
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,333
NOW, WHAT DO YOU
FEEL QUALIFIES YOU
163
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,565
TO BE AN EFFECTIVE
BABY-SITTER FOR STEWIE?
164
00:07:21,634 --> 00:07:23,865
[speaking in
Portuguese]
165
00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:28,465
UH, YEAH. UH, WE COULDN'T
RUN AN AD THAT SAID
"NO PORTUGUESE,"
166
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:29,898
BUT, UM,
167
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,865
NO PORTUGUESE.
168
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:34,465
[birds chirping]
169
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:37,665
SO, I SEE HERE
YOU WORKED FOR A FAMILY
FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.
170
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:40,632
CAN I CALL
THE, UH, HERCULOIDS
FOR A REFERENCE?
171
00:07:40,701 --> 00:07:42,065
[chattering]
172
00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:43,865
I-I'M SORRY,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
173
00:07:43,934 --> 00:07:45,333
[chattering]
174
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,065
THE POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED.
175
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,332
[chattering excitedly]
176
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,132
THE POSITION
HAS BEEN FILLED.
177
00:07:50,201 --> 00:07:52,066
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU CAN GO NOW.
178
00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:54,632
[grumbling]
179
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,799
AHH! AHH!
180
00:07:55,868 --> 00:07:57,966
LEAVE! NOW!
181
00:07:58,034 --> 00:08:00,832
I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD
TO CHOOSE A BABY-SITTER.
182
00:08:00,901 --> 00:08:02,598
YES, IF ONLY YOU
WERE THIS DISCERNING
183
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,699
WHEN YOU PICKED
THAT HAPPENING
BRUCE JENNER HAIRDO.
184
00:08:05,768 --> 00:08:08,131
SORRY I'M LATE.
CAN I STILL APPLY
FOR THE JOB?
185
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:16,565
MY GOD, I HAVEN'T
BEEN THIS EXHILARATED
186
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,832
SINCE BRIAN TOOK ME
TO SEE LES MISERABLES.
187
00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:20,431
(announcer)
ATTENTION,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
188
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,565
THERE WILL BE A SLIGHT CHANGE
IN THE CAST TONIGHT.
189
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:23,865
OH, NO.
190
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,732
FOR THIS EVENING'S PERFORMANCE
THE ROLE OF JEAN VALJEAN
191
00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:28,665
WILL BE PLAYED
BY KIRK CAMERON.
192
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:30,298
OH! OH!
193
00:08:30,366 --> 00:08:32,398
UNBELIEVABLE!
OH, MY GOD!
194
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:34,431
HOW LUCKY
ARE WE, HUH?
195
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,198
"HEY, STEWIE,
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?"
196
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,331
"OH, NOTHING.
JUST WATCHING KIRK CAMERON
PLAY JEAN VALJEAN."
197
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,498
OH, MY GOD!
CURTAIN UP.
198
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,765
HEY, MORT,
DO THESE SUPPOSITORIES
COME IN OTHER FLAVORS?
199
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,266
PETER, ARE YOU
EATING THOSE?
200
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:49,699
NO, I'M SHOVING THEM
UP MY BUTT.
201
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:51,399
OF COURSE I'M EATING THEM.
GIVE ME A CARTON.
202
00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:54,364
PETER,
IT'S THE END OF THE MONTH,
AND I'M CALLING YOUR TAB.
203
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,032
YOU OWE ME $34,000.
204
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,565
WHAT?
205
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,498
OH, MAN, HOW AM I
GONNA COME UP
WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY?
206
00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,365
PETER, I'M WAITING.
207
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,866
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
208
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:08,065
LISTEN, I GOT ANOTHER IDEA.
209
00:09:08,134 --> 00:09:09,433
WHAT IF I SOLD YOU
MY DAUGHTER?
210
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,765
HUH?
211
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,932
YOU DROP THE TAB,
AND YOUR SON
CAN HAVE MEG.
212
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:13,999
[Meg exclaiming]
WHAT?
213
00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:15,865
YEP, ALL YOU GOTTA DO
IS SIGN THIS CONTRACT.
214
00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:17,465
ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR MIND?
215
00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:19,665
YOU CAN'T SELL ME,
YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!
216
00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:22,531
WHOA! CAREFUL
GETTING THIS FISH
OFF THE HOOK, MORT.
217
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,565
SHE'S GOT SOME FANGS.
218
00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:26,032
WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT, NEIL?
219
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,698
DADDY BOUGHT YOU
A GIRLFRIEND.
220
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,431
EXCUSE ME.
IF ANYBODY IS INTERESTED,
I ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
221
00:09:31,501 --> 00:09:33,365
THERE'S NO WAY...
WAIT, WHAT?
222
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,698
YOU READY TO GO, HONEY?
223
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,398
YOU REJECTED ME
TOO MANY TIMES, MEG.
224
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,165
I COULDN'T WAIT
FOR YOU FOREVER.
225
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:41,965
BESIDES, CECILIA THINKS
MY PSORIASIS IS SEXY.
226
00:09:42,034 --> 00:09:43,632
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S OVER ME.
227
00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:46,065
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M OUT $34,000.
228
00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:48,532
I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER.
229
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,631
STICK AROUND.
MORE FAMILY GUY COMING UP.
230
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,365
PETER, HOW COULD YOU
HAVE TRIED TO SELL
OUR DAUGHTER?
231
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,832
ALL RIGHT, LOIS,
I DON'T WANT THIS
TO RUIN OUR DATE NIGHT,
232
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,465
SO I'LL MAKE IT
UP TO YOU.
233
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,432
OH, PETER.
234
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,398
"I'M SORRY I TRIED
TO SELL OUR DAUGHTER."
235
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:08,665
YEAH, YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW HARD IT WAS
236
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,999
TO FIND ONE OF THOSE
IN ENGLISH.
237
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:13,632
[sighing]
TONIGHT THE BABY-SITTER
COMES, RUPERT.
238
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,032
LOVELY LADAWN.
239
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,098
MMM.
240
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:19,465
OH, HEY, LADAWN.
241
00:10:19,534 --> 00:10:21,532
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
HOW ARE YOU?
242
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,332
YEAH. OH, JUST ME, STEWIE.
243
00:10:23,401 --> 00:10:25,399
JUST, UH,
BEING MYSELF.
244
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:28,932
UH, YEAH.
OH, OH, WELL, THIS HERE?
OH, IT'S JUST MY PACKAGE.
245
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,732
YEAH, JUST--JUST, UH,
246
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,032
JUST, UH, MY PACKAGE.
247
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,865
GOD DELIVERED IT,
I SIGNED FOR IT.
248
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,699
WORLD KEEPS ON
SPINNING. YEAH.
249
00:10:38,435 --> 00:10:39,798
OH, NO!
250
00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:41,465
OH, JENGA,
THERE IT IS.
251
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:42,966
[laughing]
OH, OH,
252
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:46,165
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHY
THEY CALL IT JENGA. MMM?
253
00:10:46,234 --> 00:10:48,932
STEWIE, YOU'RE SO CUTE,
I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT.
254
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,266
OH, THANK YOU.
I'M HAVING
A GOOD TIME, TOO.
255
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,331
I HOPE I DON'T MAKE
ANY SOCIAL FAUX PAS
256
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,264
LIKE I DID AT PAMELA
AND TOMMY LEE'S DINNER PARTY.
257
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:57,565
HI, SORRY I'M LATE.
258
00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:59,132
I WAS VISITING MY AUNT
IN THE HOSPITAL.
259
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:02,932
SHE HAS
HEP...A...TITIS.
260
00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:05,665
OOH.
261
00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:06,999
SORRY.
262
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:14,098
(Cecilia)
NEIL IS SUCH AN AMAZING GUY.
263
00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,565
WE JUST MAKE
AN ABSOLUTELY
PERFECT COUPLE.
264
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,565
YOU KNOW,
NEIL LIKED ME FIRST.
265
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,232
AND I WAS GONNA
GO OUT WITH HIM
266
00:11:20,301 --> 00:11:21,966
WHEN I WAS READY
TO SETTLE FOR HIM.
267
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:24,132
GET YOUR OWN SPAZ.
268
00:11:24,201 --> 00:11:26,032
ALL RIGHT, LADIES,
ENOUGH CHITCHAT.
269
00:11:26,101 --> 00:11:28,798
TAKE IT OFF,
GET IN THE SHOWER
AND BOUNCE AROUND FOR ME.
270
00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:33,832
SWEETIE, YOUR DADDY
AND I ARE GOING
TO THE MOVIES TONIGHT.
271
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,631
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
LADAWN TO BABY-SIT?
272
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,565
YES! I'M GOING TO WOW
HER TONIGHT, RUPERT.
273
00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:40,098
I'M GONNA BE
COOLER THAN BRIAN
274
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,632
WHEN HE HANGS OUT
AT THE BOWLING ALLEY.
275
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,298
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS.
276
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:47,931
I KEEP GETTING OLDER,
THEY STAY THE SAME AGE.
277
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,765
[chuckling]
YES, THEY DO.
YES, THEY DO.
278
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,532
PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME.
279
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:55,999
I'M JUST TRYING
TO MAKE NEIL JEALOUS.
280
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:57,932
I PROMISE, I'LL PAY
AND EVERYTHING.
281
00:11:58,001 --> 00:11:59,765
YEAH. UH,
THAT SOUNDS COOL,
282
00:11:59,834 --> 00:12:01,832
BUT I'M GONNA BE
IN THE HOSPITAL
THAT NIGHT.
283
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:05,565
[groaning]
284
00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:12,065
[continues groaning]
285
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,565
[doorbell rings]
286
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,466
HI, GORGEOUS MAN.
287
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:18,832
OH, YOU.
288
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:22,365
MUST I LOCK UP YOUR TONGUE
WITH THE REST OF THE SILVER?
289
00:12:22,434 --> 00:12:24,765
STEWIE,
THIS IS JEREMY.
290
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,632
HEY, LITTLE MAN.
SO YOU'RE THE GUY
291
00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:28,432
WHO'S BEEN TRYING
TO STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND.
292
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,665
WHAT... YOU...
293
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:31,099
GIRLFRIEND?
294
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,532
WHAT KIND OF SICK,
TWISTED GAME
ARE YOU PLAYING AT?
295
00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:35,332
STEWIE SOUNDS
A LITTLE CRANKY.
296
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,632
I'LL PUT HIM TO BED.
297
00:12:36,701 --> 00:12:39,165
HA! I GOT YOUR HAT!
TAKE THAT, HATLESS!
298
00:12:39,233 --> 00:12:42,398
NOW GO BACK TO THE QUAD
AND RESUME YOUR
HACKY SACK TOURNEY!
299
00:12:42,467 --> 00:12:44,865
I'M NOT GONNA LIE DOWN
FOR SOME FRAT-BOY BASTARD
300
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:47,465
WITH HIS DAMN TEVA SANDALS
AND HIS SKOAL BANDITS
301
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:51,365
AND HIS ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH
LONG-SLEEVED, OPEN-STITCHED
CREW-NECK HENLEY
302
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:53,265
SMOKING HIS STICKY BUDS
OUT OF A SODA CAN
303
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:56,565
WHILE WATCHING
HIS FAVORITE DOWNLOADED
SIMPSONS EPISODES EVERY NIGHT!
304
00:12:56,633 --> 00:12:58,199
YES, WE ALL LOVE MR. PLOW.
305
00:12:58,268 --> 00:13:00,032
OH, YOU'VE GOT
THE SONG MEMORIZED,
DO YOU?
306
00:13:00,101 --> 00:13:01,332
SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!
307
00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:03,366
THAT IS EXACTLY
THE KIND OF IDIOT YOU SEE
308
00:13:03,435 --> 00:13:05,032
AT TACO BELL
AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING.
309
00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:07,865
THE GUY WHO JUST
WHIFFED HIS WAY
DOWN THE BAR-SKANK LADDER.
310
00:13:07,934 --> 00:13:09,232
GOOD NIGHT, STEWIE.
311
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,465
IF HE WANTS TO THROW HANDS,
I'LL THROW HANDS.
312
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,065
I TELL YOU...
313
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:14,966
[mumbling]
314
00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:16,032
[groans]
315
00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:17,132
[sucking]
316
00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:18,199
[snores]
317
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,899
OH, HEY!
NEIL AND CECILIA.
318
00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:25,665
I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO SEE YOU HERE.
319
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:27,598
MEET JAKE,
MY BOYFRIEND.
320
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:28,865
I WANT SOME BBs.
321
00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,565
MY DAD LETS ME
SHOOT AT CATS.
322
00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:31,999
OH, HI, MEG.
323
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,999
NEIL AND I
ARE CELEBRATING
OUR 2-WEEK ANNIVERSARY.
324
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,732
OH, IT SEEMS LIKE
ONLY YESTERDAY
325
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,565
HE WAS JUST A STRANGER
VIDEOTAPING ME
THROUGH THE WINDOW.
326
00:13:39,633 --> 00:13:40,631
BIG DEAL.
327
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,265
HE DID THAT TO ME
3 YEARS AGO.
328
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,365
AND HE GAVE ME
THE TAPES
FOR CHRISTMAS.
329
00:13:44,434 --> 00:13:45,965
HE GAVE ME DVDs.
330
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,965
THE PRODUCTION VALUES
WERE AMAZING,
331
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:49,932
MUCH BETTER THAN
KRAMER VS. PREDATOR.
332
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,532
YOU WANT HIM BACK?
333
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,865
YOU CAN'T JUST
DISAPPEAR FOR 3 MONTHS
AND THEN SUDDENLY DECIDE
334
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,898
YOU WANT HIM BACK!
YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!
335
00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:02,065
WELL, I'M GLAD
NEIL'S OVER ME, ANYWAY.
336
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:04,233
I'M WITH JAKE NOW.
RIGHT, JAKE?
337
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,765
MAYBE SOMEDAY
WE'LL GET MARRIED
AND YOU CAN GO UP ON ME.
338
00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:09,598
NEIL, I WANNA BE
YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
339
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:10,732
WHAT?
340
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,398
I WAS WRONG
TO DRIVE YOU AWAY.
341
00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:13,532
WE BELONG TOGETHER.
342
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,665
OF COURSE,
I'M UNDERSTANDABLY
SKEPTICAL
343
00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:17,599
OF YOUR NEWFOUND
AFFECTION FOR ME.
344
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,399
YOU STILL GOT
THAT CONTRACT
OUR DADS DREW UP?
345
00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:21,732
GIVE ME THAT.
346
00:14:25,435 --> 00:14:26,598
YOU WANNA HOOK UP?
347
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:27,731
BUY ME SOMETHING.
348
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:34,865
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE GOING OUT.
349
00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:36,564
THIS IS SO COOL.
350
00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:40,798
OH, NEIL. NEIL,
N-NOT--NOT SO FAST.
351
00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:42,199
[tittering]
UH, MEG,
352
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:44,065
YOU NEED
TO FULFILL YOUR
CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS.
353
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,498
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
354
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,265
[laughing lecherously]
355
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:49,632
ALL RIGHT, MEG,
ACCORDING TO THE CONTRACT,
356
00:14:49,701 --> 00:14:51,965
EVERY NIGHT,
YOU HAVE TO
PUT ON MY PAJAMAS.
357
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,832
MY MOM'S RECORD
IS 12 SECONDS.
358
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,199
NEIL, I THINK YOU'RE
OLD ENOUGH TO--
359
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,365
GO!
360
00:14:56,434 --> 00:14:57,865
[giggling]
WOULD YOU
STOP KICKING?
361
00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,098
OOH, THAT'S TICKLING.
IT TICKLES.
JUST HOLD STILL.
362
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,198
OW, MY THUMB.
HOLD STILL.
363
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,199
[exclaiming]
QUIT IT...
364
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:07,532
OH, LADAWN, I THOUGHT
WE COULD WATCH
A D.V.D. TOGETHER.
365
00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:10,032
I PICKED UP THE FIRST SEASON
OF JIMINY GLICK.
366
00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:12,066
IMAGINE BEING
THAT GUY FOR A DAY.
367
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:13,465
COLIN FARRELL,
368
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:16,199
SO I WAS TALKING TO MY WIFE,
DIXIE, THE OTHER DAY
369
00:15:16,267 --> 00:15:19,099
AND SHE WAS SAYING
THAT YOU WEREN'T
A VERY GOOD ACTOR.
370
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,699
AND I AGREED WITH HER.
371
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:24,199
NOW--NOW, WHY, NOW, WHY,
COLIN, WHY WOULD
WE BOTH SAY THAT?
372
00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:28,465
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
373
00:15:28,533 --> 00:15:30,298
JEREMY MUST BE DESTROYED.
374
00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:38,832
MOM?
375
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,299
[footsteps pattering]
376
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,099
DAD?
377
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,365
MOM? IS ANYONE THERE?
378
00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:50,898
UH, LITTLE MAN?
YOU--YOU IN HERE?
379
00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:00,333
[bellowing]
380
00:16:00,401 --> 00:16:02,099
[screaming]
381
00:16:02,168 --> 00:16:04,332
I SAY, I THINK THIS IS
HOW YOU CHANGE A TIRE.
382
00:16:04,401 --> 00:16:06,432
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
I'M JUST A BABY!
383
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,465
HERE'S YOUR IPOD,
SO YOU CAN LISTEN
384
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,232
TO THE STREAKS
WHILE YOU GASP FOR AIR.
385
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,331
[muffled]
386
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,665
OH, THE STROKES. RIGHT.
387
00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:19,532
BOY, THIS WAS
A BETTER ACQUISITION
THAN I THOUGHT.
388
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,532
WE MAY EVEN BE ABLE
TO PUT IN SOME
SORGHUM THIS YEAR.
389
00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:29,199
SO, UH,
ANYWAY, UM...
390
00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:30,732
HEY, I MADE YOU
A MIXED TAPE.
391
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:32,366
I DON'T HAVE
A DUAL CASSETTE PLAYER
392
00:16:32,434 --> 00:16:34,866
SO, YOU KNOW, I HAD TO HOLD
THE TAPE RECORDER UP
TO THE RADIO,
393
00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:36,732
SO THE QUALITY
IS KIND OF SUCKY
394
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,165
BUT, YOU KNOW,
ALL THE SONGS
DESCRIBE MY FEELINGS.
395
00:16:39,234 --> 00:16:40,432
[sobbing]
OH.
396
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,832
I'M SORRY, STEWIE.
I'M JUST UPSET.
397
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,699
JEREMY STOPPED
CALLING ME.
398
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:47,765
HE WHAT?
THAT BLAGGARD!
399
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:51,132
OH, COME HERE,
L-LET ME JUST-- LET ME JUST
HOLD YOU FOR A WHILE.
400
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:56,298
STEWIE! NO! THAT IS
A BAD PLACE TO TOUCH.
401
00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:58,465
NO. NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO. NO.
402
00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:00,231
BUT--BUT--BUT...
403
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,098
[stammering]
BUT I... YOU... I...
404
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,432
[wailing]
405
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,665
NO MORE T.V.
406
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,565
WELL, HOW ABOUT
NO MORE JOB? HMM?
407
00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:10,065
YOU HEAR THAT,
MISS FUSSY BRITCHES?
408
00:17:10,134 --> 00:17:12,132
I SHALL SEE YOU FIRED,
DAMN YOU!
409
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,998
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO GO ALL THE WAY
410
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,165
AND DIE TOGETHER
LIKE HITLER AND EVA BRAUN.
411
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:17,632
[gun firing]
412
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,432
WE DO EVERYTHING
TOGETHER, JA?
413
00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:20,465
JA.
414
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:21,565
YOU GOT YOUR POISON?
MMM.
415
00:17:21,634 --> 00:17:24,299
OK. 1, 2, 3.
416
00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:26,632
YOU--YOU DIDN'T DO IT.
417
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:28,231
YOU DIDN'T DO IT,
EITHER.
418
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,431
OK, OK. ALL RIGHT,
THIS TIME WE REALLY
HAVE TO DO IT.
419
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,599
OK, ALL RIGHT.
YOU READY? OK, OK.
OK.
420
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,231
(both)
1, 2.
421
00:17:35,901 --> 00:17:37,298
AH!
AH!
422
00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:42,398
YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF
AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.
423
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,531
YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK.
424
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,732
YOU SUCK.
425
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,898
HEY, STEWIE,
THERE'S, UH, SOMETHING
426
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,498
THUNKING AROUND IN
THE TRUNK OF MY CAR
427
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:55,765
AND I CAN'T GET IN THERE
'CAUSE SOMEBODY
BUSTED THE LOCK.
428
00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,532
YOU--YOU HAVE, UH,
ANY IDEA
WHAT THAT'S ABOUT?
429
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,132
OH, OH, THAT.
IT'S THIS WHOLE...
430
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,198
[clicks tongue]
431
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,865
IT'S THIS WHOLE
CRAZY THING.
432
00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:08,331
[clanging]
433
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,698
HEY, THIS IS NOT A BARN,
YOUNG LADY.
434
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:12,065
OH, I'M JUST
SO EXHAUSTED.
435
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,999
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
I'D BE HAPPY
BEING WITH NEIL,
436
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:15,132
BUT I'M NOT.
437
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:16,765
THIS IS HORRIBLE.
438
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,165
OH, SWEETHEART,
WE'LL FIGURE SOME WAY
TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS.
439
00:18:19,234 --> 00:18:21,265
BRIAN,
DID YOU FIND ANY LOOPHOLE
IN THE CONTRACT?
440
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,632
NOPE, IT'S AIRTIGHT.
441
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,866
THE ONLY WAY OUT
IS IF NEIL COMMITS
AN INFIDELITY.
442
00:18:24,934 --> 00:18:26,298
WELL, THAT'S IT THEN.
443
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,532
WE GOT TO FIND
SOMEBODY TO SEDUCE NEIL.
444
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,698
WHO, ME?
445
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,065
WELL, IF NOT YOU, LOIS,
THEN WHO?
446
00:18:31,134 --> 00:18:32,665
BEVERLY D'ANGELO?
447
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:34,498
'CAUSE I DON'T THINK
SHE'D DO IT.
448
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,433
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO GET A HOLD OF HER.
449
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,099
OH, HELLO, LADAWN.
450
00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:42,699
LISTEN, I CERTAINLY HOPE
YOU'LL EXCUSE
451
00:18:42,767 --> 00:18:44,099
LAST NIGHT'S
INDISCRETION.
452
00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:46,032
IT WAS JUST...
OH, MY GOD, LADAWN!
453
00:18:46,101 --> 00:18:47,531
WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR NECK?
454
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:52,832
HA!
455
00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:56,233
LOIS! OH, THANK GOD
YOU'RE HERE, LOIS.
456
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,698
IT WAS ALL
HER FRIENDS.
457
00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:00,132
THEY--THEY WERE DOING
MARIJUANA AND HEROIN.
458
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:03,065
AND--AND THEY WERE
TAKING ECZEMA
AND TOUCHING EACH OTHER.
459
00:19:03,134 --> 00:19:04,732
(Lois)
LADAWN, WAKE UP
THIS INSTANT.
460
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:05,966
WHAT?
461
00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:07,199
I--I DON'T--
462
00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:08,464
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T BOTHER, LADAWN.
463
00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:09,632
YOU ARE FIRED.
464
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,131
WELL, I REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPENED
465
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,565
BUT I GUESS
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
I GET TO SEE YOU. I...
466
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,498
I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
LITTLE GUY.
467
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:20,431
OH, THIS IS FOR YOU.
468
00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,231
SHE--SHE MADE ME
A MIXED TAPE.
469
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,999
OH, DEAR GOD,
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
470
00:19:26,068 --> 00:19:28,164
I'VE MADE A
TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
471
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,331
LADAWN! LADAWN!
472
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,232
LADAWN!
473
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,032
ALL RIGHT,
YOU ALL SET, HONEY?
474
00:19:38,101 --> 00:19:39,799
(Lois)
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M DOING THIS.
475
00:19:39,867 --> 00:19:41,032
IT'S SO DISGUSTING.
476
00:19:41,101 --> 00:19:42,564
BUT IT'S FOR
MY LITTLE GIRL.
477
00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:44,398
DAD, HOW DO YOU KNOW
NEIL WILL SHOW UP?
478
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:45,598
DON'T WORRY, MEG.
479
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:48,065
I SENT HIM AN INVITATION
HE COULDN'T REFUSE.
480
00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:54,165
HMM.
481
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:58,599
STRANGE. THESE CONVENTIONS
USUALLY HAVE SEGWAY PARKING.
482
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,298
HELLO? AM I TOO LATE
FOR THE Q AND A?
483
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:05,398
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE JUST
IN TIME FOR THE T AND A.
484
00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:06,564
[growls seductively]
485
00:20:06,633 --> 00:20:08,166
MRS. GRIFFIN,
WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU--
486
00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:09,299
[shushing]
487
00:20:09,368 --> 00:20:11,798
YOU CAN CALL ME MYSTIQUE.
488
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,731
MRS. GRIFFIN,
THIS IS WRONG.
489
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,132
WELL, WELL, WELL,
LOOK AT THIS, MEG.
490
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,332
YOUR BOYFRIEND
IS VIOLATING BOTH
YOUR CONTRACT AND MY WIFE.
491
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,432
MEG, I WASN'T
DOING ANYTHING.
492
00:20:21,501 --> 00:20:23,999
UH, MRS. GRIFFIN WAS JUST...
OW, YOU'RE BENDING IT.
493
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:25,131
I DON'T CARE.
494
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,131
YOU'VE NULLIFIED
THE CONTRACT.
495
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,932
[laughing triumphantly]
I'M FREE!
496
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:30,366
FREE?
497
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:31,866
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, MEG.
498
00:20:31,934 --> 00:20:33,799
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
MY GIRLFRIEND?
499
00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:35,199
WELL, I THOUGHT I DID.
500
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:36,832
BUT I GUESS
I WAS JUST JEALOUS.
501
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:37,932
I SEE.
502
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,765
WELL, MEG, I WANT YOU
TO BE WITH ME
503
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,398
BECAUSE YOU WANT
TO BE WITH ME,
504
00:20:41,467 --> 00:20:43,232
NOT BECAUSE
YOU HAVE TO.
505
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,565
THANK YOU, NEIL.
506
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:48,032
CECILIA,
IT'S THE GOLDMAN.
507
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,932
HOW ABOUT WE FIRE UP
THE OLD SEGWAY
508
00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:52,698
AND FIND A NICE QUIET FIELD
TO DO LONG DIVISION IN?
509
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:54,598
I--I--I MEAN,
A NICE QUIET FIELD
510
00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:57,198
IN WHICH TO DO
LONG DIVISION. SORRY.
511
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:58,765
SORRY, EVERYBODY.
512
00:20:58,834 --> 00:21:00,099
OK, I'M ON MY WAY.
513
00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:02,232
HE'S GOING BACK TO CECILIA?
514
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,231
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M ACTUALLY JEALOUS.
515
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,332
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I ACTUALLY TOUCHED HIM.
516
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,598
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER.
517
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,499
NEXT WEEK I RUN
FOR MAYOR OF QUAHOG.
518
00:21:11,567 --> 00:21:12,899
DO I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?
519
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:13,965
WE'LL FIND OUT.
DON'T MISS IT.
520
00:21:22,801 --> 00:21:25,032
WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN.
521
00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:27,932
ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT
WITH BASIC CABLE.
522
00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:30,465
YEP.
523
00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:33,565
OH, I SUPPOSE NEITHER OF US
IS REALLY CUT OUT
FOR LOVE, AND WE--
524
00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:36,066
OH, MY GOD!
JEREMY'S STILL
IN THE TRUNK!
525
00:21:36,134 --> 00:21:37,732
OH, GOD, HOW LONG
HAS IT BEEN?
526
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:40,099
UH, LET'S-- LET'S SEE.
2--2 WEEKS. YEP.
527
00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:41,198
[clicks tongue]
528
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:42,598
YEAH, HE'S DEAD.
529
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,899
DEFINITELY DEAD.