1
00:00:03,134 --> 00:00:05,898
♪ IT SEEMS TODAY
THAT ALL YOU SEE ♪
2
00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:09,264
♪ IS VIOLENCE IN MOVIES
AND SEX ON T.V. ♪
3
00:00:09,333 --> 00:00:12,798
♪ BUT WHERE ARE THOSE
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED VALUES ♪
4
00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:15,932
♪ ON WHICH WE USED TO RELY? ♪
5
00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:19,298
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:22,565
♪ LUCKY THERE'S A MAN WHO
POSITIVELY CAN DO ♪
7
00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:24,232
♪ ALL THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US ♪
8
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,899
♪ LAUGH AND CRY ♪
9
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:30,798
♪ HE'S A FAMILY GUY ♪
10
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,698
OK, NOW, DON'T WANDER
TOO FAR, KIDS.
11
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,565
YOU KNOW,
MORE CHILDREN
GET KIDNAPPED
12
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:40,665
AT THE GROCERY STORE
THAN ANYWHERE ELSE.
13
00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:46,299
HEY.
14
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:47,565
AH, YOU GOT ME!
15
00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:48,998
OH, NOT QUICK ENOUGH.
16
00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:50,299
NOT QUICK ENOUGH,
NO.
17
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,599
NO, I WAS CLOSE,
THOUGH.
18
00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:53,032
YOU WERE CLOSE.
19
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,932
I'M GONNA GO GET
SOME ORANGES, STEWIE.
20
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,398
HERE, HOLD THE REST OF
THESE BAGS FOR MOMMY.
21
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:01,231
OH, WHAT BRILLIANT PARENTING,
LOIS.
22
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,465
LEAVE A TINY INFANT
WITH A PLASTIC BAG.
23
00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:05,298
YOU KNOW,
I MIGHT ASPHYXIATE MYSELF,
24
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:06,532
JUST TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.
25
00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:10,132
HERE I GO,
JUST LIKE THAT BOY FROM INXS.
26
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,432
I AM GOING TO DO IT.
I AM GOING TO DO IT.
27
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,432
[grunting]
28
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,298
BLAST! GOOD LORD, LOIS,
29
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:18,698
EITHER I WAS A C-SECTION
OR YOU'RE WONDER WOMAN.
30
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:20,532
CHRIS, WOULD YOU
RUN AND GET SOME MILK?
31
00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:22,532
AND BE SURE TO
TAKE IT FROM THE BACK.
32
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:27,565
♪[Take On Me by Aha playing]
33
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♪ TAKE ON ME ♪
34
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♪ TAKE ME ON ♪
35
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♪ TAKE ON ME ♪
36
00:01:34,734 --> 00:01:38,431
♪ I'LL BE GONE ♪
37
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♪ IN A DAY OR TWO ♪
38
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[panting]
39
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,966
CHRIS,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
40
00:02:07,034 --> 00:02:08,432
I DON'T KNOW.
41
00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:10,399
[beeps]
42
00:02:10,467 --> 00:02:11,965
$53.98.
43
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:14,365
OH, NO,
I FORGOT TO GO TO THE BANK.
44
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:15,698
UH, I'M A LITTLE SHORT.
45
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,465
I'LL HAVE TO
PUT THE HAM BACK.
46
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:27,966
YOU KNOW,
I GOT SOME CANDY IN MY VAN,
IF YOUR KID WANTS SOME.
47
00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:29,132
OH, GREAT!
48
00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:30,199
[gasps]
49
00:02:30,268 --> 00:02:31,565
WAIT A SECOND!
50
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,531
AH, YOU GOT ME!
YOU GOT ME.
51
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,665
[laughing]
52
00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:36,299
I'LL GET HIM, THOUGH.
I'LL GET HIM.
53
00:02:36,368 --> 00:02:39,565
I BET YOU WILL.
I BET YOU WILL.
54
00:02:44,134 --> 00:02:46,431
IS THAT HAM?
I THOUGHT YOU PUT THAT BACK.
55
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,065
OH, UM...
56
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:50,098
NO, I PUT
THE OTHER HAM BACK.
57
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:51,598
I DON'T REMEMBER
ANOTHER HAM.
58
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:53,965
WELL, YOU WERE TOO BUSY
EYEBALLING THAT REDBOOK
59
00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,565
WITH GLENN CLOSE
ON THE COVER.
60
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,565
HEY, SHE IS
A HANDSOME WOMAN.
61
00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,032
WELL, WELL!
LOOK WHO'S CARRYING
62
00:02:59,101 --> 00:03:00,866
A LITTLE FLAME
FOR GLENN CLOSE.
63
00:03:00,934 --> 00:03:02,333
WHAT A SURPRISE!
64
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:04,398
ALTHOUGH
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE SURPRISED ME.
65
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,232
OH, I HAVE SO MUCH
STUFF TO DO TODAY.
66
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,298
I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY,
THEN I HAVE A PIANO LESSON,
67
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:10,199
THEN I HAVE TO MAKE DINNER.
I AM SO BUSY.
68
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:11,199
BETTER HURRY.
69
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,432
LOIS, I WANT
MY GRAHAM CRACKER...
70
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,498
OH.
71
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,165
HEY.
72
00:03:18,034 --> 00:03:19,632
HEY.
73
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:21,699
PLAYING
A LITTLE DRESS-UP?
74
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,599
YEAH.
75
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,165
YEAH, GOOD.
76
00:03:27,234 --> 00:03:28,798
IT'S FUN TO PRETEND.
77
00:03:28,867 --> 00:03:31,498
UM, SO LISTEN,
IF YOU SEE LOIS TELL HER--
78
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:32,732
GRAHAM CRACKER.
79
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,665
GRAHAM CRACKER, YES, YES.
THAT'S--THAT'S IT.
80
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:37,665
UM, ALL RIGHT, SO, UH,
81
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,398
I'M JUST GONNA GO OUT
IN THE HALLWAY
82
00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:41,532
AND THROW UP
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
83
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OH, THIS IS CUTE.
84
00:03:48,567 --> 00:03:49,765
OH, MY GOD.
85
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,699
[laughing]
86
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,798
[whooping]
87
00:04:05,134 --> 00:04:06,265
[panting]
88
00:04:08,134 --> 00:04:10,331
OH, MY GOD,
THAT WAS SUCH A RUSH.
89
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,431
[grunting]
90
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,165
YEAH. I'M ALIVE!
91
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,565
THANKS FOR
HAVING US OVER.
92
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,032
YEAH,
IT'S A WONDERFUL DINNER.
93
00:04:20,101 --> 00:04:22,265
AND ON THIS
BEAUTIFUL NEW CHINA.
94
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,432
YOU GUYS HAVE
A LOT OF NEW STUFF.
95
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:26,632
YEAH, LOIS HAS BEEN
SPLURGING HER ASS OFF.
96
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,999
YEAH, SHE HAS.
97
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,899
YOU KNOW, SHE BOUGHT ME
SOMETHING YESTERDAY,
98
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:31,899
BUT I--I AM NOT GOING TO
TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.
99
00:04:31,968 --> 00:04:33,832
I WANT YOU TO GUESS.
JUST C-CLOSE YOUR EYES.
100
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:34,799
[honking]
101
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:35,832
[groaning]
102
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:36,999
IT'S A SOCCER HORN.
103
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,265
I KNOW WHAT IT IS!
104
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:40,698
HEY, IS THAT
AN ORIGINAL MATISSE?
105
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,199
UH, HEY, UH, BONNIE.
106
00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:44,165
UH, LISTEN, WHY
DON'T YOU STOP
WITH THE QUESTIONS, HUH?
107
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:46,032
YOU'RE RUINING
EVERYONE'S GOOD TIME.
108
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:49,132
LIKE PETER DID,
WHEN HE USED TO ENTERTAIN
TERMINALLY ILL KIDS.
109
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,765
HI THERE.
HOW YOU ALL DOIN'?
110
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,032
ALL RIGHT, SO I'M AT
THE D.M.V. THE OTHER DAY.
111
00:04:53,101 --> 00:04:55,232
LONG LINES.
LONG LINES AT THE D.M.V.
112
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,032
BUT YOU'LL FIND OUT
ALL ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU GET...
113
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,032
[stammering]
114
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,698
UM, MOVIN' ON. SO, UH,
I FINALLY TRIED VIAGRA AND--
115
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:05,832
[boy groaning]
116
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:08,032
OH, WE GOT A JOKER
IN THE AUDIENCE THERE.
117
00:05:08,101 --> 00:05:10,865
YOU, UH, YOU GOT SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO SAY, THERE,
MR. HECKLER?
118
00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:12,699
DYING HURTS.
119
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:13,799
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
120
00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:15,232
SO ANYWAY,
WHO HATES FLYIN'?
121
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:24,298
[clearing throat]
122
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,965
[gasping]
BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN' HERE?
123
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,765
I SHOULD ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION.
124
00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:30,766
LOIS, YOU'RE IN
AN AUTO PARTS STORE,
STEALING MUFFLERS.
125
00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:33,299
THIS IS WORSE THAN
THAT WINONA RYDER THING.
126
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,899
OH, ARE YOU SAYIN'
I AM A KLEPTO?
127
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,231
ACTUALLY, I WAS TALKING ABOUT
THE AGE OF INNOCENCE.
128
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,865
IT IS SETTLED, MAY.
OUR PARENTS HAVE CONSENTED
129
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:41,665
AND YOU AND I
ARE TO BE MARRIED
130
00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:43,832
ON THE FIRST WARM,
SUNNY DAY OF SPRING.
131
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:48,032
THAT WOULD BE MOST GOOD,
NEWLAND, MOST GOOD.
132
00:05:48,101 --> 00:05:50,565
[sighing]
I AM SORRY,
BUT SHE IS JUST AWFUL.
133
00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:51,898
I-IS THERE ANY WAY...
134
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:54,265
I MEAN, CAN WE ADD,
LIKE, A TOPLESS SCENE,
OR SOMETHIN'?
135
00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:55,465
(director)
UH, YEAH.
REALLY?
136
00:05:55,534 --> 00:05:56,599
YEAH.
137
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:59,132
WE CAN? OH, GREAT.
ALL RIGHT,
WE GOT A MOVIE.
138
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,899
OH, GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT,
BRIAN, I'M OUT OF CONTROL,
139
00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:03,431
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
140
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,098
I'M JUST HOOKED ON
THE RUSH OF SHOPLIFTING.
141
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,599
I HAVEN'T FELT A THRILL
LIKE THIS IN A LONG TIME.
142
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,431
WELL, I THINK
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH THRILLS.
143
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,365
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
PUT EVERYTHING BACK, HUH?
144
00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:14,198
UH, OK, BRIAN.
145
00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,233
YOU KNOW,
YOU REALLY ARE A GOOD FRIEND.
146
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,165
LET ME RUB YOUR BELLY.
147
00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:20,898
[moaning]
148
00:06:25,967 --> 00:06:26,998
PUT IT BACK.
149
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:28,564
[continues moaning]
150
00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:29,765
[T.V. playing]
151
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,599
WELCOME BACK TO
CHANNEL 5 NEWS AT 10:00.
152
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:35,999
FOR THOSE OF YOU
WONDERING
153
00:06:36,068 --> 00:06:38,098
WHAT I'VE BEEN WRITING DOWN
AS WE GO TO COMMERCIAL,
154
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,765
IT'S A CAT.
JUST A CAT.
155
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,298
IN OTHER NEWS,
POLICE ARE STILL LOOKING
FOR THE CULPRIT
156
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:45,032
WHO STOLE
A VALUABLE MATISSE PAINTING
157
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,198
FROM THE QUAHOG
MUSEUM OF ART.
158
00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:49,665
A MATISSE PAINTING?
159
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,398
ALSO,
SCIENTISTS ANNOUNCED TODAY
160
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:53,265
THAT IF YOUR HAND IS
BIGGER THAN YOUR FACE,
161
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,865
YOU HAVE CANCER.
162
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:55,965
HA-HA!
163
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,899
GOT YOU. AHA! AH!
164
00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,732
OH, THAT'S NOT EVEN
REALLY NEWS.
165
00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:03,233
[vrooming]
166
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,331
[sputtering]
167
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,431
OH, NO, RUPERT,
WE'RE OUT OF GAS.
168
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,899
WE BETTER ASK
DIRECTIONS
169
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:10,166
AT THAT CREEPY,
AND POSSIBLY HAUNTED HOUSE.
170
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,499
AH! A GHOST!
171
00:07:12,567 --> 00:07:14,498
OH, OH, OH, OH,
IT'S OK. IT'S OK.
172
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,832
WE GOT AWAY JUST IN TIME.
WE GOT AWAY JUST IN TIME.
173
00:07:17,901 --> 00:07:20,099
ALL RIGHT, NOW,
IS THAT EVERYTHING YOU STOLE?
174
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:21,665
UH, THAT'S
EVERYTHING.
175
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:23,765
YOU KNOW,
YOU REALLY SHOULD TALK
TO A THERAPIST ABOUT THIS.
176
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,332
I MEAN,
IT REALLY HELPED PETER OUT
177
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,432
WHEN HE BECAME
OBSESSED
178
00:07:26,501 --> 00:07:27,865
WITH THAT
FANTASY WORLD OF HIS.
179
00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:34,299
YEAH!
180
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,233
YOU'RE A LITTLE
TOO HEAVY, BUDDY.
181
00:07:36,301 --> 00:07:38,066
YEAH!
182
00:07:38,134 --> 00:07:39,398
WE'RE GOING DOWN.
183
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:40,665
YEAH!
184
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:44,232
YEAH.
185
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:46,032
[sighing]
YOU KNOW, LOIS,
WE'RE JUST LUCKY
186
00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:48,465
WE GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL
BEFORE THE POLICE
CAUGHT ONTO YOU.
187
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,832
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, LOIS,
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.
188
00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:53,531
OH, CRAP. A-ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
JUST--JUST TAKE IT EASY, JOE.
189
00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:55,399
ALL RIGHT,
LOIS WILL GO PEACEFULLY.
190
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:57,498
OH, MY GOD,
I AM SO EMBARRASSED.
191
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,331
LET ME JUST
GET MY PURSE.
192
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,532
[laughing]
193
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,932
(Lois)
SUCKER!
194
00:08:11,134 --> 00:08:12,532
[grunting]
195
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:18,298
[gasps]
196
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,632
[tires screeching]
197
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,331
[Lois exclaiming]
198
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,032
[groaning]
199
00:08:24,101 --> 00:08:25,665
SORRY, LOIS.
REGULATIONS.
200
00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:27,399
I CAN'T GIVE YOU
ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT.
201
00:08:27,468 --> 00:08:28,999
IT'S OK, JOE,
I UNDERSTAND.
202
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,532
SHUT UP, MAGGOT!
203
00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:31,598
[groaning]
204
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,999
YOUR HONOR, I AM SO SORRY
FOR STEALING ALL THAT STUFF.
205
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,765
I JUST COULDN'T
CONTROL MYSELF.
206
00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:42,032
WELL, MRS. GRIFFIN,
207
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,732
CONSIDERING THIS IS
YOUR FIRST OFFENSE,
208
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,532
I'VE DECIDED TO
GO LENIENT AND...
209
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,032
WHERE THE HELL IS MY GAVEL?
210
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,565
[giggling]
211
00:08:49,134 --> 00:08:50,366
GIVE ME THAT.
212
00:08:50,434 --> 00:08:52,498
I SENTENCE YOU TO 2 YEARS
IN THE STATE PRISON.
213
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:53,499
[gasps]
214
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,765
AH, MAN, THAT IS BOGUS.
215
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,032
ORDER IN THE COURT!
216
00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:57,798
ANOTHER OUTBURST
LIKE THAT, MR. GRIFFIN,
217
00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:58,966
AND I'LL EXTEND
THE SENTENCE.
218
00:08:59,034 --> 00:08:59,932
[sneezes]
219
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:00,965
OK, 3 YEARS.
220
00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:02,032
THAT WAS A SNEEZE.
221
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,165
4 YEARS.
I AM SORRY.
222
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,532
5 YEARS.
YOU DOUCHEBAG.
223
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,398
ALL RIGHT, 3 YEARS IT IS.
224
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,198
3 YEARS IN PRISON?
225
00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:10,198
OH, MY GOD,
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
226
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,632
OH, MAN,
I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS UPSET
227
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,265
SINCE I WATCHED
THE BLOB ON TELEVISION.
228
00:09:15,334 --> 00:09:17,698
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, LADY!
IT'S THE BLOB!
229
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:19,265
I'LL SAVE YOU.
230
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:26,099
HERE YOU GO.
MEET YOUR NEW FRIENDS.
231
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,298
UH, HI,
I'M LOIS.
232
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,865
I'M FISTY, THAT'S STABBY,
AND THAT'S BALLS.
233
00:09:31,934 --> 00:09:33,599
PULL UP A CHAIR,
WE'RE PLAYING CARDS.
234
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,899
OH. OK.
235
00:09:35,968 --> 00:09:38,165
SO, ARE THOSE
BIBLICAL NAMES?
236
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:39,565
YEAH, FISTY IS.
237
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,298
BOY, I SURE
MISS LOIS.
238
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,399
I WISH SHE WAS HERE
TO CLEAN UP ALL THIS STUFF.
239
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:46,498
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
240
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:47,699
MUSTARD.
241
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:50,098
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
WE HAD HOT DOGS LAST WEEK.
242
00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:51,332
YOU GONNA EAT THAT?
243
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,165
THE MUSTARD
ON YOUR SHOULDER? NO.
244
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:58,399
OH, OH, KIDS, LOOK!
LOOK. A DEER.
245
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,598
CAN WE
PET HIM?
246
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,665
NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.
NO, JUST--JUST WATCH.
247
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:02,732
[clatters]
248
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:06,131
[all sighing]
249
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,198
PETER! PETER!
250
00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:13,098
THERE'S--THERE'S
SO MUCH DOODY IN HERE.
251
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:16,298
I CA-- I CAN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE.
252
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:18,298
I HAVEN'T EATEN IN 4 DAYS
253
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,531
'CAUSE I--
'CAUSE--'CAUSE I...
254
00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:23,431
I JUST CAN'T FIT ANY MORE
IN THERE.
255
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,098
HELP ME.
256
00:10:26,967 --> 00:10:28,765
OK, NOW WHEN WE GET
TO YOUR MOTHER'S CAGE,
257
00:10:28,834 --> 00:10:30,799
SAY HELLO,
BUT DON'T DRAG YOUR ASS,
258
00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:32,465
'CAUSE I WANT TO GO
THE REPTILE HOUSE.
259
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:33,965
OH, AND WE GOT TO
SEE THOSE PANDAS.
260
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,198
PETER, THIS ISN'T A ZOO,
IT'S A PRISON.
261
00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:37,799
QUAGMIRE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
262
00:10:37,867 --> 00:10:39,131
AH, IT'S CONJUGAL VISIT DAY.
263
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,099
YOU KNOW, I LOVE DOING
A WOMAN IN THE CAN.
264
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:42,565
[gibbering]
265
00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:45,066
WHO ELSE BUT QUAGMIRE?
266
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,331
♪ HE'S QUAGMIRE,
QUAGMIRE ♪
267
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,765
♪ YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO NEXT ♪
268
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,165
♪ HE'S QUAGMIRE,
QUAGMIRE ♪
269
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,499
[gibbering]
270
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:54,765
♪ LET'S HAVE SEX ♪
271
00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,632
I DO HOPE
NOTHING HAPPENS
272
00:10:56,701 --> 00:10:59,099
TO SPOIL THIS
FANCY DINNER PARTY.
273
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,199
[gasping]
274
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,199
[gibbering]
275
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,732
WHO ELSE BUT QUAGMIRE?
276
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,465
♪ HE'S QUAGMIRE,
QUAGMIRE ♪
277
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,498
[gibbering]
278
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:12,565
OH, IT IS SO GOOD
TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
279
00:11:12,634 --> 00:11:13,866
HOW IS EVERYTHING
AT HOME?
280
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,565
OH, IT'S HORRIBLE, LOIS.
I'VE HAD TO DO
281
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,232
ALL THE THINGS
THAT YOU USUALLY DO.
282
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,398
LIKE THE OTHER NIGHT,
283
00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:20,065
I HAD TO GO TO
YOUR BOOK CLUB MEETING.
284
00:11:20,134 --> 00:11:21,398
WELL, I
REALLY ADMIRED
285
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,831
THE MOTHER CHARACTER'S
ADMISSION OF PERSONAL TORMENT
286
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,365
AFTER
HER DAUGHTER'S DEATH.
287
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,532
I--I DISAGREE.
288
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,865
I FELT A TOTAL LACK
OF ETHICAL INTEGRITY
289
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,765
IN HER READINESS TO
ABANDON HER CHILDREN
290
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,165
AND START
A LIFE OF HER OWN.
291
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:35,265
AH, HERE'S ANOTHER THING:
THE BOOK CAN ALSO BE
292
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,332
A HAT.
293
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,498
AND THE OTHER NIGHT,
I HAD TO DO A...
294
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,532
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT THING THAT YOU
295
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,432
USUALLY DO FOR ME
EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT.
296
00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:44,632
[grunting]
297
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,665
AH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE SERVING
298
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:55,665
A 3-YEAR SENTENCE,
IT SEEMS SO HARSH.
299
00:11:55,734 --> 00:11:57,932
WELL, THE ONLY UPSIDE IS
THAT IT'S GIVEN ME TIME
300
00:11:58,001 --> 00:11:59,899
TO THINK ABOUT
WHY I ENDED UP IN HERE.
301
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:01,332
I--I GUESS
I WAS STEALIN'
302
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:04,565
BECAUSE I WAS SO SICK OF
THE SAME OLD ROUTINE.
303
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:07,199
I FELT LIKE I HAD
A VOID IN MY LIFE.
304
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,999
LIKE--LIKE THERE WAS
A SECRET HOLE IN ME.
305
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:09,999
OH, GOD!
306
00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:12,399
AND I WAS TRYING TO
FILL THAT HOLE WITH
307
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:15,099
ALL KINDS OF
EXPENSIVE OBJECTS AND THINGS.
308
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,631
OH, GOD!
309
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:18,199
AND I FELT
WONDERFUL
310
00:12:18,268 --> 00:12:20,333
WITH ALL THOSE THINGS
FILLING THAT HOLE.
311
00:12:20,401 --> 00:12:21,832
OH, GOD!
312
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,433
I DID THIS TO MYSELF
313
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,433
SO I'M JUST GONNA
HAVE TO LAY BACK
314
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,399
AND LET THE PENAL SYSTEM
TEACH ME A LESSON.
315
00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:29,333
THAT ONE
IS ALSO SEXUAL.
316
00:12:29,401 --> 00:12:31,065
WELL, I GUESS
WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR,
317
00:12:31,134 --> 00:12:32,365
YOU COULD BE OUT IN 2 YEARS.
318
00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:34,565
I MADE MY OWN BED
WITH THIS ONE, GUYS.
319
00:12:34,633 --> 00:12:37,131
I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO
PAY MY DEBT TO SOCIETY.
320
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,665
NOT NECESSARILY.
321
00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:41,899
I THINK I GOT AN IDEA
OF HOW TO SMUGGLE YOU OUT.
322
00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:44,865
BYE-BYE, TAKE CARE, NOW.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
323
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:45,932
[mumbling]
324
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:49,998
[alarm wailing]
325
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,531
WHAT DO WE DO?
326
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,498
HURRY!
WE'LL HIDE IN THAT VAN.
327
00:13:07,234 --> 00:13:09,532
MY GOD, YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?
328
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,632
YOU'RE ALL ACCESSORIES
TO MY ESCAPE.
329
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,632
SHE'S RIGHT.
WE'RE FUGITIVES
FROM THE LAW.
330
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,999
WHAT THE HELL IS
WRONG WITH YOU?
331
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:16,265
I'M A DOG, ALL RIGHT.
332
00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:19,132
I HAVE A VERY TOUGH TIME
STANDING UP IN THE CAR.
333
00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:20,731
WELL, THEN
WE'RE FUGITIVES.
334
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,465
BUT AT LEAST
THE FAMILY'S BACK TOGETHER.
335
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:23,565
I WONDER
WHERE WE'RE GOING.
336
00:13:23,634 --> 00:13:24,598
CALM DOWN!
337
00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,198
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
WERE GOING TO DO.
338
00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:27,732
WHEREVER THIS VAN STOPS,
339
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,465
WE'LL BEGIN
A NEW LIFE TOGETHER.
340
00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:31,999
WE'LL BLEND IN TO THE FABRIC
OF THAT COMMUNITY.
341
00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:37,665
PETER, WE'RE
IN ASIANTOWN.
342
00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:40,698
WELL, AT LEAST
I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
343
00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,565
ABOUT THE EVIL MONKEY HERE.
344
00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:44,932
[screams]
345
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,766
WELL, IF WE'RE GONNA HIDE
OUT HERE IN ASIANTOWN,
346
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,598
WE HAVE TO FIND
A PLACE TO LIVE.
347
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:52,866
YES, AND WE SHOULD DO
NOTHING
348
00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:55,565
TO DRAW ATTENTION TO
OURSELVES AS OUTSIDERS.
349
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,066
OH, MY GOD!
IT'S JACKIE CHAN.
350
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,299
OH, MY GOD!
IT'S JACKIE CHAN.
351
00:14:00,368 --> 00:14:02,099
OH, MY GOD!
IT'S JACKIE CHAN.
352
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:03,299
HI THERE!
353
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:04,832
ALWAYS NICE TO MEET
A FAN OF MY MOVIES.
354
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,132
OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE ETHAN HAWKE!
355
00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:07,264
UH, NO, I'M NOT.
356
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:08,598
SORRY, MY MISTAKE.
357
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,232
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S ETHAN HAWKE!
358
00:14:10,301 --> 00:14:11,799
MOM, CAN WE
GO GET SOME FOOD?
359
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:13,498
OH, MY GOD,
THERE'S MALCOLM
IN MIDDLE!
360
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:14,565
I'M NOT A BOY.
361
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:15,665
YES, YOU ARE.
362
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,565
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE HAVE TO LIVE HERE.
363
00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:23,932
NO, THIS SUCKS!
364
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,665
UGH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
365
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,499
ONE FEMALE BABY
SINCE WE GOT HERE.
366
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,132
THIS PLACE IS
A SAUSAGE-FEST.
367
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,065
COME ON, KIDS,
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE.
368
00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:32,865
MEG, YOU--YOU REMEMBER
WHEN YOU FOUND OUT
369
00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:34,765
YOUR GYNECOLOGIST
NEVER FINISHED
MED SCHOOL?
370
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,065
ALL RIGHT, MEG,
371
00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:37,965
LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT THAT BERGINA.
372
00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,732
BUT PETER, HOW ARE WE
GOING TO SUPPORT
OURSELVES HERE?
373
00:14:40,801 --> 00:14:42,965
WELL, WE'LL ALL HAVE
TO GET JOBS,
BUT I'M SURE
374
00:14:43,034 --> 00:14:44,931
WE'LL EACH FIND
SOMETHING WE CAN DO.
375
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:46,998
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
376
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,032
TOKYO.
377
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,665
OH, TOKYO!
YEAH, IT'S A GREAT TOWN.
378
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:51,865
LOT OF PEOPLE, THOUGH.
379
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,098
YUP.
380
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,298
YOU-YOU'RE HERE ON BUSINESS?
I BET ITS BUSINESS
381
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:58,298
'CAUSE I HAD A FARE
EARLIER TODAY THAT...
382
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:00,198
THIS USED TO BE
A PEOPLE BUSINESS,
383
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,032
BUT NOW, I DON'T KNOW.
384
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:06,765
OH, DAMN! I SAY,
I SEEM TO HAVE SEWN
385
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:08,865
A SHOE TO MY HAND,
MAY I GO TO THE NURSE?
386
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:10,499
REPLACE HIM!
387
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:11,565
[screams]
388
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:13,932
[screams]
389
00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:14,999
[baby crying]
390
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,732
FASTER!
391
00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:20,032
SO, WHAT EXACTLY
WOULD YOU SAY
392
00:15:20,101 --> 00:15:22,398
QUALIFIES YOU
TO WORK AS A SUMO WRESTLER?
393
00:15:22,466 --> 00:15:23,598
OH, ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
394
00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:26,132
I'M A BORN ATHLETE,
JUST LIKE GREG LOUGANIS.
395
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,665
HI, I'M PETER GRIFFIN.
396
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:29,199
YOU'RE PROBABLY
ASKING YOURSELF,
397
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:30,698
"WHICH WAY
ARE THEY GONNA GO?
398
00:15:30,768 --> 00:15:31,798
"ARE THEY GONNA MAKE
399
00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:33,465
"A DIVING-BOARD
HEAD-INJURY JOKE?
400
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,331
"ARE THEY GONNA
MAKE AN AIDS JOKE?
401
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,565
"OR ARE THEY GONNA MAKE
A JOKE ABOUT THE FACT
402
00:15:37,634 --> 00:15:38,598
"THAT HIS LAST NAME
403
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,198
SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY
LIKE 'ANUS'?"
404
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:42,132
WELL, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
405
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:43,965
AND DO A NO-BODY-HAIR JOKE.
406
00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:44,999
BRIAN?
407
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:47,364
HI, I'M GREG LOUGANIS.
I'M TOTALLY SHAVEN.
408
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,632
TERRIFIC! TERRIFIC.
409
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:54,965
DAMN IT, SWANSON.
I WANT THEM FOUND.
410
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:58,465
MAYOR WEST,
WE HAVE EVERY AVAILABLE MAN
LOOKING FOR THE GRIFFINS.
411
00:15:58,534 --> 00:15:59,765
WE JUST DON'T HAVE
ANY LEADS.
412
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,598
NOT THE GRIFFINS,
YOU MORON!
413
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,832
THE REST OF
MY LITE BRITE PIECES!
414
00:16:03,901 --> 00:16:05,832
MY NAME
ISN'T "ADAM WE"!
415
00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:08,698
OR IS IT?
WHO AM I?
416
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,098
WHAT NUMBER
DID YOU DIAL?
417
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,065
DON'T EVER
CALL HERE AGAIN.
418
00:16:12,134 --> 00:16:13,999
I GUESS I TOLD HIM!
419
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:17,032
NOBODY MESSES
WITH ADAM WE.
420
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,898
AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
421
00:16:18,967 --> 00:16:22,298
SUMO TONIGHT,
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ASIAN TRIX.
422
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:24,632
SILLY RABBIT!
TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!
423
00:16:24,701 --> 00:16:26,098
YOU SHARE!
424
00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:27,632
[groans]
425
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,999
UH, I'M NOT REALLY SURE
WHAT TO DO HERE.
426
00:16:33,068 --> 00:16:35,465
BOY! YOU'VE PUT ON WEIGHT,
JACKIE CHAN.
427
00:16:35,534 --> 00:16:36,531
[all cheering]
428
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:38,399
OH, MY GOD!
429
00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:39,732
(Bonnie)
DID YOU WALK?
430
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,232
♪[music playing]
431
00:16:49,601 --> 00:16:51,999
[exclaiming]
432
00:16:52,068 --> 00:16:56,265
(male announcer)
YOU'RE WATCHING
C.B.S. ASIANTOWN.
433
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,798
HEY, EVERYBODY,
I'M HOME.
434
00:16:57,867 --> 00:16:59,032
OH, YOU'RE
JUST IN TIME.
435
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,898
I ORDERED CAUCASIAN
FOR DINNER.
436
00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:02,265
CHRIS,
I'M HUNGRY.
437
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,132
IT'S YOUR TURN TO
KEEP WATCH FOR THE COPS.
438
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,765
WAIT A MINUTE,
AM--AM I THE ONLY ONE
WHO THINKS THIS IS NUTS?
439
00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:08,032
WE'VE GIVEN UP
OUR WHOLE LIVES.
440
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,098
COME ON, BRIAN,
441
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,598
A CHANGE OF SCENERY
IS ALWAYS GOOD.
442
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:13,432
YES, I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED
MY TRIP TO NEBRASKA.
443
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,865
SO, UM, ANYBODY SEE
ANY GOOD MOVIES LATELY?
444
00:17:21,934 --> 00:17:22,965
NO, NOT REALLY.
445
00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:24,065
NO.
NO.
446
00:17:24,134 --> 00:17:25,398
OH.
447
00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:26,965
READ ANY
GOOD BOOKS?
448
00:17:27,034 --> 00:17:28,398
NO.
UH-UH, NO.
449
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:29,799
OH.
450
00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:31,166
ANYTHING NEW
WITH CORN?
451
00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:32,232
OH, YEAH, CORN...
452
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,965
CORN--
YOU BETCHA!
453
00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:34,999
CORN--
454
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:35,999
YEAH.
455
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,132
CORN IS ALWAYS
INTERESTING.
456
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,066
HEY, MOM, MR. SWANSON'S HERE
TO VISIT US.
457
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,132
WHAT?
458
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,131
[inaudible]
459
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,531
OH, MY GOD,
WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
460
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:53,032
TAXI! FOLLOW THAT FAMILY.
461
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,698
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
OVER THE FENCE.
462
00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,765
AH, YES, A FENCE.
463
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:09,565
THE CRIPPLE'S NATURAL ENEMY.
464
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,498
[sighs]
465
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:16,332
I THINK
WE LOST HIM.
466
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,364
THERE THEY ARE.
467
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:20,765
QUICK! INTO THE SEWER.
468
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,665
[grunting]
469
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,066
UGH, GOOD LORD!
IT'S DISGUSTING DOWN HERE.
470
00:18:28,134 --> 00:18:30,032
OH, BOY, STEWIE'S GOT
THE RIGHT IDEA.
471
00:18:30,101 --> 00:18:32,099
OW, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
472
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,665
IT'S WET DOWN THERE, BRIAN.
473
00:18:33,734 --> 00:18:35,531
GEE, THIS SUCKS
WORSE THAN THAT TIME
474
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,332
I DID COCAINE
WITH KARL MALDEN.
475
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,398
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING
ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE ABOUT?
476
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,132
WELL, YOU KNOW,
KARL, I--I DIDN'T GET...
477
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:42,799
I GOT VIRTUALLY
NOTHIN' HERE,
YOU KNOW?
478
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,431
LOOK, I DON'T SEE
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
479
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:45,698
NO, YOU WOULDN'T,
WOULD YOU?
480
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:47,899
L-LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS,
I GOT THE RAW END OF THE DEAL.
481
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:48,999
YOU INVITED ME OVER.
482
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,599
YEAH, WELL,
NOW I'M REGRETTING IT.
483
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,232
WHEN I FIRE ROCKETS,
484
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:58,165
I ALWAYS PRETEND
I SHOOTING
485
00:18:58,234 --> 00:18:59,765
AT ALAN ALDA
AND JAMIE FARR.
486
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,665
TAKE THAT, WISECRACKING
MEATBALL SURGEON!
487
00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:17,332
[rats squeaking]
488
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,698
WHICH WAY
SHOULD WE GO?
489
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:20,298
I DON'T KNOW,
LET'S ASK THE GOONIES.
490
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,798
TAKE THE LEFT ONE.
491
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:23,999
THANKS.
HEY, HEY, CHUNK, CHUNK,
COME HERE, COME HERE.
492
00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:26,866
HEY, UH, BEFORE YOU GO,
DO THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE.
493
00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:28,866
OH, COME ON!
494
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,599
DO THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE.
495
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:31,665
[sighs]
496
00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:34,431
[laughing]
497
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,431
CHILDHOOD OBESITY.
498
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,698
LOIS, COME ON,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
499
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:42,965
[sighs]
500
00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,332
I CAN'T DO IT, PETER.
501
00:19:44,401 --> 00:19:45,532
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT?
502
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,732
LOOK AT US.
503
00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:48,165
WE'RE RUNNIN'
THROUGH A SEWER,
504
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:49,332
AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME.
505
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,032
LOOK, HONEY,
IT WAS VERY SWEET OF YOU
506
00:19:51,101 --> 00:19:52,199
TO BREAK ME OUT OF JAIL
507
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:53,966
BUT I DID
SOMETHIN' WRONG.
508
00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:55,799
AND I'M THE ONE
WHO SHOULD PAY,
509
00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:57,899
NOT MY WHOLE FAMILY.
510
00:19:57,968 --> 00:19:58,999
[sighs]
511
00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:00,365
I'M GONNA
TURN MYSELF IN.
512
00:20:00,434 --> 00:20:01,866
[helicopter whirring]
513
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,066
YOU'RE MINE NOW, LOIS!
514
00:20:06,133 --> 00:20:07,366
[Joe screaming]
515
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:10,966
OH, MY GOD, JOE!
516
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,999
JOE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY.
I CAN'T HANG ON.
517
00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:17,565
PRETEND
I'M YOUR CHILD, LOIS.
518
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,898
NOT MEG! NOT MEG!
519
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:24,298
LOIS, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
520
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,598
I SAY, COREY HAIM!
521
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,132
ARE YOU WITH
THE GOONIES AS WELL?
522
00:20:28,201 --> 00:20:29,965
NO, I JUST
LIVE DOWN HERE.
523
00:20:30,034 --> 00:20:31,032
MINE!
524
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,999
AH, IT WAS
SO NICE OF JOE
525
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,498
TO WORK THINGS OUT
WITH THAT JUDGE.
526
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,233
YEAH, BUT I'M SURE
GONNA MISS MY BUDDIES
527
00:20:39,301 --> 00:20:40,398
DOWN AT THE SUMO RING.
528
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:42,999
DAD, CAN YOU TEACH ME
HOW TO SUMO WRESTLE?
529
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:44,298
OH, IT'S NOT
TOO HARD, CHRIS.
530
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:45,665
HEY, BRIAN,
HELP ME DEMONSTRATE.
531
00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:47,331
UH, PETER,
MAYBE SOMEBODY ELSE COULD--
532
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,464
COME ON!
533
00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:49,632
[sighs]
534
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,065
OK, SO ON THE COUNT TO 3,
535
00:20:51,134 --> 00:20:52,565
YOU TRY TO PUSH ME
OUT OF THE RING,
536
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:53,999
I TRY TO PUSH YOU
OUT OF THE RING.
537
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,032
OK? READY?
538
00:20:55,101 --> 00:20:56,332
1, 2, 3!
539
00:20:56,401 --> 00:20:57,999
[groaning]
540
00:20:58,068 --> 00:21:00,632
OW. WHAT--WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT THE HELL?
541
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:01,899
BRIAN, I'M SORRY--
542
00:21:01,967 --> 00:21:03,166
NO! NO, NO.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
543
00:21:03,235 --> 00:21:05,465
IT'S NOT COOL, PETER.
IT'S NOT COOL.