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00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:05,732
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,801 --> 00:00:09,398
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:09,466 --> 00:00:12,766
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,998
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:19,231
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things
that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:30,798
♪ He's a family guy ♪♪
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All right,
all bets are in.
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00:00:36,901 --> 00:00:39,632
Ooh, Rupert, bad idea
trusting the Celtics.
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00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:42,232
Worse than when I trusted
Brian to pack my parachute.
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Hey, Brian, care
to place a wager?
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00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:00,999
Tomorrow night on
Fox's Celebrity Boxing,
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00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:03,999
I've got Carol Channing
beating Mike Tyson
in three rounds.
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Carol Channing.
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00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,331
You've got Carol Channing,
the actress,
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00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,331
beating Mike Tyson,
the boxer.
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00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,998
Hell, give me
$50 on Tyson.
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Well, you're
in good company.
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Betting Freddy took
the same wager.
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(STUTTERING) Bet!
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Wait a minute.
There's nothing funny
about an addiction.
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00:01:20,934 --> 00:01:23,265
Vote no on Indian
gaming laws.
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MALE T.V. HOST:
And we're back with
Fox Celebrity Boxing
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00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:30,999
with Mike Tyson
and Carol Channing.
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I tell you, Jim,
how Carol Channing
outlasted that barrage
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in the second round,
we'll never know.
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(BELL DINGS)
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,165
Come here, young man.
I'm gonna bop you one.
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00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:45,032
(CROWD CHEERING)
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00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:47,565
She's getting beat!
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00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:50,032
No, she's getting mad.
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You ain't so tough,
young man.
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That all you got,
you son of a bitch?
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You're going down,
young man.
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You're going down!
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I can't--
I can't believe this.
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She keeps getting up.
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I'm so exhausted.
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(CROWD GASPING)
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00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:10,698
(BELL DINGS)
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And the winner,
by technical knockout,
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00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,298
weighing in at 67 pounds,
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00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:18,865
Carol
"Put On Your Sunday Clothes"
Channing.
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00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:19,932
(CROWD BOOING)
Yeah.
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00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,832
Up yours,
young people.
49
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:25,998
You and your rock and roll
8-track tapes!
50
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:28,798
I don't believe this.
I just lost a $50 bet.
51
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:31,398
You know, Mike Tyson
once beat up his wife.
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But there's nothing
funny about that.
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(LAUGHING)
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00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:38,498
Hi, guys. We're back
from the mall.
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I got new shoes.
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00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:42,598
The old ones are
in the box.
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00:02:43,435 --> 00:02:45,832
They smell and are old.
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00:02:45,901 --> 00:02:49,132
Hey, Peter,
your 25th high-school
reunion is next Sunday.
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Throw that away.
I don't want to go.
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Besides, Sunday's
my Internet porn night.
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Oh, yeah!
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You're my Chinese Lois.
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(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
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00:03:02,034 --> 00:03:04,066
Hey, it's me.
Knock, knock.
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00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:06,765
So, uh, you got, uh...
You got my money?
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00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:08,832
Huh? Oh, yeah.
I'll-- I'll pay you soon.
67
00:03:08,901 --> 00:03:11,398
Yeah, well, um,
here's a suggestion.
68
00:03:11,466 --> 00:03:12,932
Um, have the money
by tomorrow,
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00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:14,565
and there won't be
any problems.
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Huh?
Yeah, 24 hours.
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00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,199
Why? What--What happens
in 24 hours?
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00:03:18,268 --> 00:03:20,233
I don't know.
I'm not psychic, man.
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00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,398
I'm just saying
it would probably be
better for everybody
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00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:24,099
if you had
the money tomorrow.
Yeah, all right.
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I'll see what I can do.
Sweet, sweet. Great.
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00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:28,732
How's everything else going?
Good.
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All right. All right,
see you later.
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Don't forget.
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00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,765
No, you're not
gonna forget.
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Hey, Peter, I was going
through your garbage,
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00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,199
and I noticed
your high school
reunion is coming up.
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Why were you going
through my garbage?
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00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,799
Well, when I stopped
over earlier,
84
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I noticed Lois
clipping her toenails,
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and I thought,
"Oh, man, I got
to get in on that."
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Huh.
87
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,464
Yeah, I don't think
I'm going to my reunion.
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Everybody's all got
their nice cars,
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00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:52,798
and their big,
important jobs,
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00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:55,798
and their fancy hats,
and their fresh strawberries
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00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,165
so big you can eat
them like a hand fruit.
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00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,365
Peter, everyone lies
at those things.
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00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:01,899
Just tell them
you're a big shot.
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00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:04,399
Wait a second, Joe,
that's a great idea.
95
00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:06,999
Boy, imagine
what it would be like
to be a big shot.
96
00:04:10,801 --> 00:04:12,298
Diego?
97
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:13,765
Sweaty.
98
00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:15,865
(MOANS)
99
00:04:15,934 --> 00:04:17,032
Thank you.
100
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,132
Stewie, uh, hey.
101
00:04:26,201 --> 00:04:28,998
Hey, there.
So, uh, it's been 24 hours.
102
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,865
Got my money?
Oh, uh, you know what?
103
00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:32,632
Just give me
till next Friday.
I'll have it for you.
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00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,199
Oh.
105
00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:36,132
Oh, that's funny.
I could have sworn
I said have it today.
106
00:04:36,201 --> 00:04:37,565
Yeah, I don't have it,
sorry.
107
00:04:37,634 --> 00:04:39,365
Oh. Well.
All right, then.
108
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:41,932
Mmm. That's good OJ.
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(SCREAMING)
110
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,265
Yeah, that hurt?
That hurt?
What the hell?
111
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:48,765
Yeah, doesn't
feel so good,
does it? No?
112
00:04:50,034 --> 00:04:51,065
(GRUNTING)
113
00:04:51,134 --> 00:04:52,631
Yeah, that's
what happens, man.
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00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:53,765
Oh, my God.
115
00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:54,865
Yeah, that's what happens.
116
00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,399
(GRUNTING)
117
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:58,565
Where's my money?
118
00:04:58,634 --> 00:04:59,699
You gonna give me
my money?
119
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,365
Where's my money, man?
120
00:05:04,268 --> 00:05:05,732
Where's the money?
121
00:05:07,634 --> 00:05:09,032
Yeah, you like that?
That feel good?
122
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,099
That feel good?
123
00:05:11,234 --> 00:05:12,565
(SCREAMING)
124
00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:15,032
Where's the money, man?
Where's my money?
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00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,965
You've got till 5:00.
You hear me?
126
00:05:20,034 --> 00:05:21,732
You got till 5:00.
127
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,232
You freaking psychopath!
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00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,631
Clean yourself up.
129
00:05:29,266 --> 00:05:30,265
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
130
00:05:31,868 --> 00:05:34,631
Peter, this is ridiculous.
Why can't you
just be yourself?
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00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,198
PETER:
Lois, just go along with it.
Act like I'm a big shot.
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00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:38,599
(SIGHS)
133
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,599
Hey, Peter Griffin,
is that you?
134
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,598
Hey, Mike,
long time no see.
135
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,131
Wow. What...
136
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,598
What's all this?
Oh, this?
I just came from work.
137
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,032
I'm a secret agent
astronaut millionaire.
138
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,065
Cool. Where'd you get
the cowboy hat?
139
00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:52,898
Space.
140
00:05:52,967 --> 00:05:54,932
Oh, by the way,
this is my friend, Tom.
141
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:58,098
(GASPS) You're Tom Brady
from the New England Patriots!
142
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:00,366
Oh, man, I got to tell you,
you kick ass, man.
143
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,032
In fact, I was just saying
that the other day
144
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,665
to all the guys down
at the brewery.
145
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,699
Brewery?
I thought you were a cowboy
astronaut millionaire.
146
00:06:06,768 --> 00:06:07,798
He's a fake!
147
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,932
Look, this cowboy hat
comes right off.
148
00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:17,232
Coming here was
a huge mistake, Lois.
149
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,832
Peter, I know
you're humiliated,
150
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,698
but getting drunk
is not the answer.
151
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:24,999
Uh-oh. Either my esophagus
just got shorter,
or I'm about to throw up.
152
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:27,798
(CROWD CLAMORING)
153
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,999
(VOMITING)
154
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,766
Peter, that was amazing.
155
00:06:34,834 --> 00:06:37,165
I've never seen
a guy your size
who could move like that.
156
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:40,665
How would you like to play
for the New England Patriots?
157
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,266
Oh. I'd love to.
158
00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:43,565
Say, listen, uh, Tom,
159
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:45,532
could you get me a towel?
I threw up on the floor.
160
00:06:45,601 --> 00:06:46,665
Sure.
161
00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:48,832
And could you also get
another towel?
162
00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:50,965
I also threw up
on this gentleman's
bare lap.
163
00:06:51,034 --> 00:06:52,832
MAN: Could you
wet the towel?
Wet the towel, Tom?
164
00:06:55,268 --> 00:06:58,732
For our top story tonight,
we go live to terrific
haircut Bob Costas
165
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:00,899
as he talks with
local man Peter Griffin,
166
00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:03,531
who is living
his dream of playing for
the New England Patriots.
167
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,699
Bob?
Thanks, Tom.
168
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:06,299
I'm fond of your hair,
as well.
169
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:07,765
I'm standing here
with Tom Brady
170
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,932
and his newest teammate,
Peter Griffin.
171
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,365
Hey, Ma! Check it out!
I'm married to a pro athlete!
172
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,966
Ha! What do you
think of that?
173
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,298
(LAUGHING)
174
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:17,831
We're really excited
to have Peter.
175
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,333
I think he's gonna make
a great addition
to a great team.
176
00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:24,165
I want to thank God.
Uh, I want to thank
the Lord God.
177
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:27,098
Uh, 'cause it's not
really up to me.
It's up to him.
178
00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:29,532
Um, and I want to thank
the devil, too.
179
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,165
Uh, you know, 'cause that's,
uh, that's why God's there.
180
00:07:33,234 --> 00:07:35,032
He's, uh...
He's minding the fence,
181
00:07:35,101 --> 00:07:36,865
making sure
that guy never comes back.
182
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,932
Uh...
183
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,098
You know,
if it weren't for the devil,
God'd probably go insane,
184
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:44,532
blow his brains out
from boredom, you know?
185
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,298
Everybody likes
to feel useful.
186
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,932
Maketh the world go round.
187
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,398
Back to you, Tom.
188
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:53,365
Diane, didn't
your first husband
blow his brains out?
189
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:55,432
Oh, God.
190
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,999
Coming up,
America's hottest new
curse word, "kleeman."
191
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,865
We'll tell you
what it means after this.
192
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:04,199
Boy, Lois, I can't believe
this is happening to me.
193
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,032
I'm somebody now, you know?
194
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,965
I-I-I don't have to
lie to people
about my life anymore.
195
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:11,865
Oh, I am so happy
for you, Peter.
196
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:14,598
What the hell
happened to you?
197
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,999
I, uh, fell
down the stairs.
198
00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:18,465
Oh, you should
be more careful.
199
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,165
All right, I'm ready.
Come on, good game.
200
00:08:23,234 --> 00:08:25,066
Good game, everybody. Yeah.
Come on, good game.
201
00:08:25,134 --> 00:08:27,199
Let's get out there.
Let's do it. Yeah, yeah.
202
00:08:27,268 --> 00:08:29,732
110%, everybody.
110%. Huh?
203
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,598
Come on, let's go.
Let's go. Good game!
204
00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:36,365
Ready! Blue 20,
blue 20! Hut, hut!
205
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:38,732
Griffin, let go!
206
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,832
Let's go?
207
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:46,432
(CROWD CHEERING)
208
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,198
(GASPS)
209
00:08:59,134 --> 00:09:00,898
Morning.
Good day to you, sir.
210
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:02,432
Hey, wait a minute.
What the hell?
211
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,498
(EXCLAIMING)
212
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,132
(GRUNTING)
213
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:12,765
Getting real tired
of you ducking me,
man. Yeah?
214
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,665
Oh, my God!
Yeah, getting really tired.
215
00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:23,032
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
216
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:26,331
Yeah, you got money
to pay for fake mustaches,
huh? Yeah.
217
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,698
Yeah, how much you pay
for that fake mustache?
218
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:29,799
$2.99.
219
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:30,865
(SCREAMING)
220
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,532
Listen, you just got
to give me more time...
221
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,199
Don't make a fool
out of me, man.
222
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:38,431
Don't make a fool
out of me.
223
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,665
I want my money.
I want my money, man.
224
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:44,699
Stewie, listen, this is crazy.
You got... Oh, my God.
225
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:46,565
(SCREAMING)
226
00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:52,331
All right, let's go
to the bank.
227
00:09:55,234 --> 00:09:59,232
Well, I got to tell you,
this was a delicious dinner,
Mrs. Griffin.
228
00:09:59,301 --> 00:10:01,532
Well, the pleasure is
all ours, Mr. Brady.
229
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,032
Please, call me Tom.
230
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,099
(GIGGLING)
231
00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:06,598
Can I call you Tom, too?
232
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:07,665
Well, of course.
233
00:10:10,034 --> 00:10:13,032
Mr. Brady,
would you please sign
my Trapper Keeper?
234
00:10:13,101 --> 00:10:16,498
Oh, Tom, your shirt.
I'm so sorry.
235
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:19,365
Look, you can use
our shower if you want.
No, it's okay.
236
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:21,432
It's just a little spot.
It'll come out.
237
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,065
Well, that's not
gonna come out.
238
00:10:23,134 --> 00:10:24,565
You better
take a shower.
239
00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:25,631
(WATER RUNNING)
240
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,032
Mom, let me look!
Meg, stop shoving.
241
00:10:33,101 --> 00:10:34,665
You wouldn't even know
what to do with it.
242
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:36,765
He's closer to my age,
you cow.
243
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,698
What the hell is this?
244
00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:40,032
Oh, hi, Stewie.
245
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,333
W-We were just leaving.
246
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,932
I say, what the devil is
all the fuss about?
247
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,998
I don't get it.
What's in there?
Bing, bong! Hello!
248
00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:49,498
Hey. What's going on?
249
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,132
What the hell?
Get out of here!
250
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:53,265
What? We're on the same team.
We shower together.
251
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,432
Yeah, in the locker room.
Yeah, yeah, come here, you.
252
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:57,565
Stop it. Knock it off.
What, are you crazy?
253
00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:59,599
We're just a couple of guys
messing around.
254
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:00,665
That's what we are.
255
00:11:02,434 --> 00:11:04,665
Oh, oh, quiet, everybody,
my commercial's on.
256
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:07,932
Hi, I'm Peter Griffin
of the New England Patriots.
257
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,032
I'm here to kick off
the Touchdown of
Savings weekend
258
00:11:11,101 --> 00:11:13,866
at Wilkins Hyundai and Subaru.
259
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:17,065
We will blitz the competition,
and in no time,
260
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,732
you'll be driving
your new Hyundai or Subaru
261
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:21,866
right to a touchdown.
262
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:27,232
PETER: ♪ At Wilkins
Hyundai and Subaru ♪
263
00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:30,032
♪ We have Hyundais
and Subarus ♪♪
264
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:35,465
Mom, the game's
about to start.
Where's Dad?
265
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:38,265
I don't know, Chris.
And I'm starting to
get worried.
266
00:11:38,334 --> 00:11:40,998
I think all this success
might be going to his head.
267
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:44,065
Do you know he spent
$30,000 on a wax sculpture
268
00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:46,999
of Harriet Tubman
doing Gwyneth Paltrow?
269
00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:50,798
Yeah. Yeah,
that is happening
for real.
270
00:11:50,867 --> 00:11:51,865
Yeah.
271
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,832
I'll enjoy that
more tomorrow.
272
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:58,398
Where the hell is Griffin?
It's almost time for kickoff.
273
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,631
Well, I guess we have
to start without him.
274
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,898
What do you think, huh?
I got this for doing
that car dealership ad.
275
00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:12,431
All right,
enough messing around. Huh?
Let's play this game.
276
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,299
Let's play some football.
277
00:12:14,368 --> 00:12:16,832
Griffin, I'm getting really
tired of your cocky attitude.
278
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,098
How many times
have I told you,
no showboating?
279
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:21,232
Relax, Tom,
I'm just having a little fun.
280
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:22,632
I got it under control.
281
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,965
Okay, 28-Z right,
pitch left,
282
00:12:25,034 --> 00:12:27,865
on one, on one.
Ready? Break!
283
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:31,731
Ready, green 54!
Green 54! Set, hut, hut!
284
00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:41,499
Yeah!
285
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:42,865
(CROWD CHEERING)
286
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,598
Huh. There might be some hope
for this guy after all.
287
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,665
Yeah.
288
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,698
Damn it, Griffin!
I said no showboating!
289
00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,899
This calls for
a victory tune!
290
00:12:55,301 --> 00:12:58,732
♪ Now, a woman who'll kiss
on a very first date
is usually a hussy ♪
291
00:12:58,801 --> 00:13:02,232
♪ And a woman who'll kiss
on the second time out
is anything but fussy ♪
292
00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:04,266
♪ But a woman who'll wait
till the third time around ♪
293
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:06,032
♪ Head in the clouds,
feet on the ground ♪
294
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,898
♪ She's the girl
he's glad he's found ♪
295
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,365
♪ She's his shipoopi ♪
296
00:13:09,434 --> 00:13:11,999
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
297
00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:13,732
♪ The girl who's hard to get ♪
298
00:13:13,801 --> 00:13:16,332
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
299
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,332
♪ But you can win her yet ♪
300
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,165
♪ Walk around once,
just to raise the curtain ♪
301
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,131
♪ Walk around twice
and you're made for certain ♪
302
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,498
♪ Once more
in the flower garden ♪
303
00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:27,198
♪ She will never get sore
if you beg her pardon ♪
304
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:30,665
♪ Do, re, mi, fa,
so, la, si, do
si, la, so, fa, mi, re, do ♪
305
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:32,398
♪ Squeeze her once
when she isn't looking ♪
306
00:13:32,467 --> 00:13:34,398
♪ Get a squeeze back,
that's fancy cooking ♪
307
00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:35,765
♪ Once more for
a pepper upper ♪
308
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,999
♪ She will never get sore
on the way to supper ♪
309
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,532
♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so,
la, si, do, si, do ♪
310
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,265
♪ Now little old Sal
was a no-gal
as anyone could see ♪
311
00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:49,632
♪ Look at her now,
she's a go-gal
who only goes for me ♪
312
00:13:49,701 --> 00:13:51,899
♪ Squeeze her once
when she isn't looking ♪
313
00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:53,832
♪ Get a squeeze back,
that's fancy cooking ♪
314
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,198
♪ Once more for
a pepper upper ♪
315
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,166
♪ She will never get sore
on the way to supper ♪
316
00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:00,398
♪ Do, re, mi, fa, so,
la, si, do, si, do ♪
317
00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:03,198
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
318
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:04,899
♪ The girl who's hard to get ♪
319
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:07,565
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
320
00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:09,598
♪ But you can win her yet ♪
321
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,331
No! No!
322
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:56,465
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
323
00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,131
♪ The girl who's hard to get ♪
324
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,766
♪ Shipoopi, shipoopi,
shipoopi ♪
325
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,766
♪ But you can win her yet ♪
326
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:06,164
♪ You can win her ♪
327
00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:10,132
♪ Yet ♪
328
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,999
♪ Shipoopi! ♪♪
329
00:15:12,068 --> 00:15:15,298
All right.
I made a touchdown.
330
00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:17,165
Griffin, you're fired!
331
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,265
For what?
332
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,799
We've had it
with your crap.
333
00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,698
I talked to the coach,
and he's selling your contract
to another team.
334
00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:26,132
And the only one
that'll take you is the worst
football team in Europe,
335
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,066
the London Silly Nannies.
336
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:34,966
So, Brian,
we're even now, right?
337
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,966
Ready to start
a new life in England.
338
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:39,264
I've got my money.
Your wounds have
healed up nicely.
339
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,364
What do you say
we let bygones be bygones?
Hmm?
340
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:45,398
You shot me in both my knees,
then lit me on fire. Piss off.
341
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:47,264
All right, all right.
I tell you what,
342
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:50,398
you get one free
revenge shot at me.
Okay.
343
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:52,131
But I'm not gonna tell you
when it's coming.
344
00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:59,099
Ah, this is gonna be fun.
345
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,698
Peter, this is crazy.
346
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:03,965
Isn't there any way
the Patriots could let
you back on the team?
347
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:06,098
No, they said
the decision was final.
348
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,165
It's all right, Lois.
I can make the best of this.
349
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,499
I mean,
a British football team
can't be that bad.
350
00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:14,498
Uh, excuse me.
Hey, there. Hi.
351
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:16,798
I'm, uh, Peter Griffin.
I'm your new player.
352
00:16:16,867 --> 00:16:19,265
Oh, yes, Peter.
Welcome to the Silly Nannies.
353
00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:21,966
I'm the quarterback, Lesley.
This is our team.
354
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:25,999
♪ If you'll marry me ♪
355
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,531
♪ I'll dig for you
and rake for you ♪
356
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,965
♪ If you'll marry me ♪
357
00:16:29,034 --> 00:16:30,498
♪ I'll scrub for you
and bake for you ♪
358
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:31,899
♪ If you'll marry me ♪
359
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,565
♪ All others
I'll forsake for you ♪
360
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:36,665
♪ All this will I do
if you'll marry me ♪
361
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:40,232
♪ All this will I do
if you'll marry me ♪♪
362
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,698
Oh, crap.
363
00:16:46,134 --> 00:16:49,599
Well, I guess living in
a London flat isn't gonna
be too bad, huh?
364
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,631
Mom, there's no water
in the toilet.
365
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,231
First of all, Chris,
it's called a loo.
366
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,565
Second, there's
no water in it,
367
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:58,365
because everybody here
just uses Elizabeth Hurley.
368
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,065
All right, well, where is she?
'Cause I need her now!
369
00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:04,598
MALE T.V. HOST:
You're watching BBC FOUR.
370
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,032
Previously on Condensation.
371
00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:10,199
Ellen, there's moisture
on the outside of my glass.
372
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,299
It's condensation, Johnny.
373
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,765
But what about the fog
on the windows?
374
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,632
It's not fog, Johnny.
375
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:19,498
It, too,
is called condensation.
376
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:22,631
(ECHOING)
"Con-den-sation."
377
00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:27,398
Hey, Peter, how was your first
Silly Nannies practice?
378
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:28,832
It sucked, Lois.
379
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,299
Those Silly Nannies are
just a bunch of losers.
380
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,832
Pack your bags.
We're going home.
381
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,531
What, you're just
giving up?
382
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,565
Look, Peter,
I know you're upset because
you blew your opportunity
383
00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,398
with the Patriots.
384
00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:42,098
But this is your chance
to redeem yourself.
385
00:17:42,167 --> 00:17:43,699
Now, I bet
if you really tried,
386
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,398
you could turn
that team around.
387
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:46,965
You know what, Lois?
388
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:49,599
When you were talking
about that sale
at TJ Maxx just now,
389
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:51,099
I came up with an idea.
390
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,298
I am going to turn
that team around.
391
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:57,132
And we'll challenge
the Patriots to a game,
and we'll kick their ass!
392
00:17:59,768 --> 00:18:01,665
Oh, man, what
an attractive woman.
393
00:18:01,734 --> 00:18:02,799
(PHONE RINGING)
394
00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:05,332
Hello?
Hey, Brady, you're dead!
395
00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,032
Listen, Leno,
you keep calling here
and threatening me,
396
00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:10,165
I'm gonna notify the police.
Leno?
397
00:18:10,234 --> 00:18:11,465
No, no,
this is Peter Griffin.
398
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,866
I'm calling to challenge you
to a grudge match
399
00:18:13,934 --> 00:18:16,632
between the Patriots
and the London Silly Nannies.
400
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:20,332
Huh. Well, Griffin,
if you want to embarrass
yourself, be my guest.
401
00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:23,299
Good.
What do you say, England?
Two weeks from now?
402
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,832
See you there.
403
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,132
(PHONE RINGING)
404
00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:27,565
Hello?
Hey, Brady!
405
00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:30,132
What kind of suit
do you want to be buried in?
406
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,066
Oh, you kids are
gonna love this.
407
00:18:40,134 --> 00:18:42,532
England has such
a rich heritage
of great theater.
408
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,298
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
409
00:18:44,366 --> 00:18:46,331
Cramsat on the bingum
with the gam gum?
410
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,631
Treaches on the upper
with the trang sang.
411
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,232
Croppers to you,
you crang sang lubber.
412
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,631
She rogered
the boogley!
413
00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:02,564
All right, now listen up,
you limey bum sniffers.
414
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:04,798
If we're gonna beat
the New England Patriots
next week,
415
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,232
I got to toughen you up.
416
00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:09,099
So you're gonna get in shape
the way American athletes do,
417
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,898
by taking steroids.
418
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:13,965
I say, Jenkins, you give me
that dirty look one more time,
419
00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:16,032
and I've a good mind
to get into my PJ's
420
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,332
and have
a pillow fight with you.
421
00:19:17,401 --> 00:19:19,132
Very well, then.
En garde!
422
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:22,532
I like your gown.
I like yours.
423
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:33,466
When's the beating
gonna come, Brian?
424
00:19:33,534 --> 00:19:34,565
Just tell me
when it's gonna come!
425
00:19:34,634 --> 00:19:35,932
Just do something,
anything!
426
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,699
Look, look, I-I'll do it.
I'll do it first.
427
00:19:38,834 --> 00:19:40,466
Look, look,
I'll do it even worse.
428
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:43,199
Oh, oh!
Look how hurt I am.
429
00:19:43,968 --> 00:19:45,432
We're even now!
430
00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:51,899
You're going down, Brady!
431
00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:54,398
You're the one
who's going down, Griffin!
432
00:19:54,466 --> 00:19:55,732
What the hell?
433
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,598
Those men are
tremendous in stature.
434
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,565
And they're coming
straight at us!
435
00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:08,632
Oh!
436
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,032
(YELLING)
437
00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,732
We'll take my carriage.
438
00:20:16,101 --> 00:20:17,532
Oh, crap!
439
00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:20,465
Well, I'm still here,
you bastards,
so let's do this.
440
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:24,932
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
441
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:30,398
Oh, hey, Brady,
you're gonna gloat
and call me a loser now?
442
00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:32,564
Actually, Peter,
you're not a loser at all.
443
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,298
What you did just now
was pretty ballsy.
Really?
444
00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,765
Absolutely!
445
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:40,232
For one guy to stand up
to the entire New England
Patriots team.
446
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:42,099
That's a winner in my book.
447
00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:47,398
Wow. Thanks, Tom Brady.
448
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,232
Peter! Oh, my God,
are you all right?
Yeah.
449
00:20:50,301 --> 00:20:52,199
Can you move your legs?
Yeah!
450
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:53,465
Oh, good.
451
00:20:53,534 --> 00:20:55,065
I thought you were gonna
be a vegetable,
452
00:20:55,134 --> 00:20:56,766
and I gotta tell you,
Peter,
453
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:59,532
I-I-I just don't think
I have it in me.
454
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:01,699
I mean,
if you can't move,
it's over.
455
00:21:01,768 --> 00:21:03,631
I love you, too, honey.
456
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,132
Let's go home.