1 00:00:06,134 --> 00:00:09,164 MAN ON TV: We now return to Sunday Golf on CBS. 2 00:00:09,233 --> 00:00:12,965 COMMENTATOR 1: And Mickelson here, trying to save par, and there's Mickelson's wife. 3 00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:15,132 God, is she hot. COMMENTATOR 2: Look at that rack. 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,098 There's a downhill lie for you. 5 00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:20,298 COMMENTATOR 1: They're just out there begging to be touched. Pleading. 6 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,332 How many golf balls do you think she can fit in her mouth? 7 00:00:22,401 --> 00:00:24,698 COMMENTATOR 2: I'd hit that one in the rough, if you know what I'm saying. 8 00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,298 COMMENTATOR 1: Who are you kidding, Greg? 9 00:00:26,367 --> 00:00:27,765 You'd pork her for a week and then get tired of her. 10 00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:29,065 COMMENTATOR 2: Yeah, you're right. 11 00:00:29,134 --> 00:00:30,665 That's what I do. That's my thing. 12 00:00:30,734 --> 00:00:32,032 But a hell of a week, though. 13 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,332 COMMENTATOR 1: Hell of a week. 14 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,565 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 15 00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,465 Oh, my God, the power's out. 16 00:00:36,533 --> 00:00:38,066 What are we gonna do now? 17 00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:40,531 Well, we could light some candles and read. 18 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,265 (ALL LAUGHING) 19 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,932 Yeah, right. Yeah, that'd be great. 20 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,899 Yeah, read the inside of my butt. 21 00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,498 We could tell stories. 22 00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:50,599 Hey, Dad, why don't you tell the story about when I was born? 23 00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,332 Yeah, we got halfway home with the afterbirth, 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,699 before we had to go back to the hospital 25 00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,531 and swap it out for Meg. The end. 26 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,832 Now, I got a better one. 27 00:00:56,901 --> 00:01:00,532 This is a story of love and loss, fathers and sons, 28 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:04,232 and the foresight to retain international merchandising rights. 29 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,532 This is the story of Star Wars. 30 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,399 Let's begin with Part 4. 31 00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:21,798 (STAR WARS MAIN THEME PLAYING) 32 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,365 (LASERS FIRING) 33 00:03:27,268 --> 00:03:29,999 You hear that? Sounds like we're being boarded from the rear, 34 00:03:30,068 --> 00:03:31,866 and not the, "Hey, take a deep breath, let's experiment," 35 00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:32,932 kind of boarded from the rear. 36 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,166 (CLEVELAND BEEPING) 37 00:03:34,235 --> 00:03:35,965 Could you hold on to this bag? 38 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,199 What if they come in a different door? 39 00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,799 Well, I guess we'd all just get up and go to that door then. 40 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,665 Is it going to be like this all day, Jeff? 41 00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:02,265 Hey, I'm just trying to contribute. 42 00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:05,965 Yeah, well contribute to pointing your gun at that door. 43 00:04:06,034 --> 00:04:07,798 Mark, why are you always way nicer to me 44 00:04:07,867 --> 00:04:09,665 when the other rebels aren't around? 45 00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:25,598 Damn! I was two days from retirement. 46 00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:30,165 R2? 47 00:04:32,068 --> 00:04:33,565 Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. 48 00:04:33,634 --> 00:04:35,099 You're my only hope. 49 00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,265 All right, now what do I click? 50 00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:38,165 Click "preferences." 51 00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:40,198 Okay, I clicked "preferences." 52 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:42,198 Now go to "default media browser." 53 00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:44,731 Okay, there's a little hourglass 54 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,631 and it's not letting me do anything. 55 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,199 It says "buffering." What is that? 56 00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:49,432 Just give it a minute. 57 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,299 All I'm trying to do is make an MPEG. 58 00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:53,565 All I'm trying to do is tell you to wait a minute. 59 00:04:53,634 --> 00:04:54,799 Okay, relax. 60 00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,932 Now click "import video file." 61 00:04:57,001 --> 00:04:58,331 All right. 62 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,765 It's telling me I have to download RealPlayer 7. 63 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,765 You know what? I'll just bring it to him myself. 64 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:04,831 There she is. 65 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,464 You still got that bag I gave you? 66 00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:15,632 It's gonna be a long ride. 67 00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:23,298 Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard. 68 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:25,965 Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now? 69 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,965 You don't do the budget, Terry. I do. 70 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,499 Hey, I'm gonna do some crosswords, 71 00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,265 but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk. 72 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,865 Oh, yeah, yeah. 73 00:05:48,967 --> 00:05:50,865 My God, look at this mess. 74 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,431 "Hey, Darth Vader's gonna be here, 75 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,665 "shall we maybe clean the place up? 76 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,099 "No, it's okay, he won't mind." 77 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:59,765 Well, well, Princess Leia. Are you prepared to tell me 78 00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:02,065 what you've done with the stolen Death Star plans? 79 00:06:02,134 --> 00:06:04,199 All right, Lord Vader, you win. 80 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:07,598 I've hidden the plans in one of these 26 briefcases. 81 00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:10,265 Ooh! Ooh! 82 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:13,432 Okay, okay, I'm feeling number 14, let's go with number 14. 83 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,598 Ohh! 84 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:18,632 It's okay, I'm just happy to be on TV. 85 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,631 All right, take her away. 86 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:25,765 Okay, here's another one. 87 00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,465 Who would you rather do? 88 00:06:27,534 --> 00:06:30,165 Jabba the Hutt right after a shower or a service droid? 89 00:06:30,234 --> 00:06:32,799 My father was a service droid. 90 00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:34,032 Hey, where are you going? 91 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,665 You can kiss the lower part of 92 00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:38,465 the back of the canister that is my body. 93 00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:53,298 Oh, man, this looks like the wrong neighborhood. 94 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:58,498 Oh, boy, it's okay, R2, calm down, be cool. 95 00:06:58,567 --> 00:07:01,799 I ain't done nothing to antagonize nobody. 96 00:07:01,867 --> 00:07:04,899 What, a droid can't walk down the desert no more? 97 00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:06,765 I got rights, too. Who's there? 98 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,399 (SHOUTING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE) 99 00:07:08,468 --> 00:07:10,398 (CIRCUITS SCRAMBLING) 100 00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:11,465 (GROANS) 101 00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:29,365 (CHAMBER MUSIC PLAYING) 102 00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:33,265 (SPEAKING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE) 103 00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:46,899 Any attack made by the rebels against 104 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,999 this station would be a useless gesture, 105 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:51,331 no matter what technical data they've obtained. 106 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,331 This station is now the ultimate power in the universe. 107 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,732 That is fantastic, terrific work. 108 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,231 So no weaknesses at all? 109 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,131 No... No. 110 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,899 You, uh... You hesitated there. 111 00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:03,431 Is there something I should know? 112 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,798 No, it's virtually indestructible, like 99.99%. 113 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:09,398 Uh, okay, wouldn't be doing my job 114 00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:11,598 if I didn't ask, what's the 0.01? 115 00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,065 Well, I mean, there's this little hole. 116 00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:16,865 It was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect. 117 00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:21,966 And if you shoot a laser into this hole, the station blows up. 118 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,399 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 119 00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,399 That sounds like a pretty big design flaw, then. 120 00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:27,698 No, no, the hole's only 2 meters across. 121 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,766 Well, that's no bigger than a womp rat. 122 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:30,966 Exactly. 123 00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:32,565 And even to get within range of it, 124 00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:34,531 you have to skim along this whole trench. It's not a big deal. 125 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,565 Can't we board it up or, you know, 126 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:38,299 put some plywood over it or something? 127 00:08:38,368 --> 00:08:39,531 Well, that would look terrible. 128 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,032 I mean, we gotta think about resale. 129 00:08:41,101 --> 00:08:42,365 Resale? What are you talking about? 130 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:44,032 This property is right above Sunset. 131 00:08:44,101 --> 00:08:45,498 The value is only gonna go up. 132 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,464 Lord Vader, your inside references 133 00:08:47,533 --> 00:08:49,398 to the Los Angeles real estate market 134 00:08:49,466 --> 00:08:51,065 haven't given you the clairvoyance to turn 135 00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,599 a profit on that condo in Glendale. Nor has it... 136 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,432 (CHOKING) I find your lack of faith disturbing. 137 00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,598 That property is in a prime location. 138 00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:01,032 20 minutes to the beach, 20 minutes to downtown. 139 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,632 (CHOKING) There's nothing to do downtown. 140 00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:06,198 Enough of this. Vader, release him. 141 00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:07,332 As you wish. 142 00:09:07,401 --> 00:09:09,732 (GASPING) 143 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,265 All right, so we're gonna plug up that hole? 144 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:14,131 Yeah, we can get it done tomorrow, if price is no object. 145 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,832 Uh... 146 00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:17,231 We'll get estimates. 147 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,398 (LAUGHING SHEEPISHLY) Get estimates, yeah, yeah. 148 00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:24,532 Someone was in the pod. 149 00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:26,132 The tracks go off in this direction. 150 00:09:26,201 --> 00:09:27,499 Look, sir, droids. 151 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,832 Look, a penny. 152 00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:34,265 Hey, thanks for the sex, early '90s printer. 153 00:09:41,633 --> 00:09:43,698 All right, bring him on out. 154 00:09:43,768 --> 00:09:46,698 Oh, God, it's 100 degrees out here. 155 00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:50,298 If I pass out, please note that I'm wearing a LifeCall bracelet, 156 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:53,132 with all my insurance information. 157 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,932 BERU: Luke? Luke! 158 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,265 Luke! What? 159 00:09:58,334 --> 00:10:00,398 Tell Uncle Owen not to tell you 160 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,465 that your father is Darth Vader. 161 00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:04,665 Aunt Beru, when are you guys going to let 162 00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:06,832 me join the Rebellion, like all my friends? 163 00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:10,565 Oh, stop whining, Luke, and come have some blue milk. 164 00:10:10,633 --> 00:10:12,932 One of these days, I'm just gonna take off 165 00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:15,932 and join the Rebellion, whether you like it or not. 166 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:18,365 Over my burnt carcass. 167 00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,032 (IN ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, shut up-a with the noise-a. 168 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,731 Hey, shut up-a with the shut up-a. 169 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,365 You shut up-a with the shut up-a. 170 00:10:23,434 --> 00:10:24,832 Shut up-a your face. 171 00:10:24,901 --> 00:10:26,832 Now-a my dog-a won't shut up-a. Why you no shut up-a? 172 00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:27,932 I'll make-a you shut up-a. 173 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,998 You, too, shut up-a. 174 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,265 Hey, I poke out-a my head. 175 00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:45,865 Some day, I'll get off this rock and fight the Empire. 176 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:53,398 John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra, everybody. 177 00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:57,265 (SOMBER STAR WARS MUSIC) 178 00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:11,732 Now do the theme to The People's Court. 179 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:17,498 (PLAYING PEOPLE'S COURT THEME) 180 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,965 Oh, this oil bath is gonna feel so good. 181 00:11:31,034 --> 00:11:33,798 Hey, you guys think that '90s printer looked clean, right? 182 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,365 Hey, there's something stuck in this R2 unit. 183 00:11:37,168 --> 00:11:38,832 Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. 184 00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:40,498 You're my only hope. 185 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,165 Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. 186 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,798 You're my only hope. 187 00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:46,599 Whoever she is, she sounds like she's in trouble. 188 00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:48,798 Is there any more to this message? 189 00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:51,965 Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids. 190 00:11:52,034 --> 00:11:55,231 Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids. 191 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,331 Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids. 192 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,231 Hi! I'm Darth Harrington of Darth Harrington's Intergalactic Proton 193 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,865 Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising 194 00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:04,732 Droids Emporium and Moon Base. 195 00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:07,531 Due to a garbled subspace transmission, I am currently overstocked 196 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,231 on all Intergalactic Proton Powered 197 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,899 Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids 198 00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:13,665 and I am passing the savings on to you! 199 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,333 She said "Obi-One" Kenobi. 200 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,199 I wonder if she means old Obi-Wan Kenobi? 201 00:12:19,267 --> 00:12:22,332 Well, I guess I'll go bulls-eye some womp rats in my T-16. 202 00:12:22,401 --> 00:12:24,965 My God, you shoot small animals for fun? 203 00:12:25,034 --> 00:12:27,532 That's the first indicator of a serial killer, you freak. 204 00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:29,632 There's two suns and no women. 205 00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:32,732 What the hell am I supposed to do? 206 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,465 Master Luke, he's gone, he's gone. What? 207 00:12:35,534 --> 00:12:38,398 R2, he took off in the middle of the night, we gotta find him. 208 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,699 Oh, what the phantom menace is that guy's problem? 209 00:12:44,201 --> 00:12:46,099 Hey, mind if I turn on the radio? 210 00:12:46,168 --> 00:12:49,498 DJ: WTAT, Tatooine's all-talk radio. 211 00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:52,132 HOST: My good friends, the liberal galactic media 212 00:12:52,201 --> 00:12:54,098 is at it again, they never stop. 213 00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:56,465 Now they're trying to convince us that Hoth is melting. 214 00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:58,299 Well, that's crazy, just trying to scare us. 215 00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,565 And if that weren't enough to get you mad, 216 00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:02,932 we now have news that Lando Calrissian 217 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:04,832 has been made the chief administrator 218 00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:07,266 of the Bespin mining facility. 219 00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:08,899 Gee, I wonder how he got that job. 220 00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,766 Well, let me tell you how he got that job. 221 00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,798 Affirmative action strikes again. 222 00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,531 The time is 8:50. 223 00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:19,299 R2, what are you doing out here? 224 00:13:19,368 --> 00:13:20,632 (BEEPING) 225 00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:21,965 He says there are several creatures 226 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,399 approaching from the southeast. 227 00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:24,866 That's not what I said. 228 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,866 I said there ain't a pack of menthols on this planet. 229 00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:32,899 Well, I see some bantha tracks, but I don't see any... 230 00:13:32,968 --> 00:13:34,798 Wait a minute, they're Sand People, 231 00:13:34,867 --> 00:13:36,665 all right, I can see one of them now. 232 00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:42,233 (BARKING) 233 00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:44,298 (WHISTLING) 234 00:13:48,234 --> 00:13:50,798 (BARKING) 235 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,231 Who the hell are you? 236 00:13:57,934 --> 00:14:00,665 One lucky son of a bitch. 237 00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:07,598 So, Luke, what brings your muscly arms out this way? 238 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,366 I'll show you, Mr. Obi-Wan. 239 00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:11,099 R2, play him the message. 240 00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:14,565 General Kenobi, many years ago 241 00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:17,165 you served my father in the Clone Wars. 242 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:20,766 We need your help again. And, not to get too personal, 243 00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:22,499 but you owe us after that mess 244 00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,165 you got into back on Alderaan. 245 00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:25,599 (FAST-FORWARDING) 246 00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,432 And we paid to keep the families 247 00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:29,232 of those children quiet, so... 248 00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:33,432 This is just, like, logistical stuff. I'll check that later. 249 00:14:33,501 --> 00:14:35,432 ...Joey Lawrence haircut. 250 00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:37,699 So, I'll assume we can count on your help 251 00:14:37,768 --> 00:14:41,099 to get the Death Star plans to my father on Alderaan. 252 00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:44,232 The plans are stored inside this R2 unit. 253 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,599 Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. 254 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,866 All right now, what do I click? 255 00:14:49,934 --> 00:14:52,732 Luke, you must learn the ways of the Force, 256 00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:54,665 and come with me to Alderaan. 257 00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:56,065 What's the Force? 258 00:14:56,134 --> 00:14:59,499 The Force is what gives a Jedi Knight his power. 259 00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:02,698 It surrounds us, it penetrates us. 260 00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:05,032 Mmm... 261 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,498 Here, check this out. 262 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,364 Wow! This is cool. 263 00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:12,032 Yeah, everyone in the neighborhood has one. 264 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,231 Hey, why would you hang that up? 265 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,132 It looks so tantalizing. 266 00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:25,865 You know, the Empire is gonna come looking for these droids. 267 00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:28,199 But if they find out who the Jawa sold them to, 268 00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,998 that could lead them back... 269 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,099 Home! 270 00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:34,065 Luke, wait, it's too dangerous. 271 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,932 Get your fat space ass back here. 272 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,198 Uncle Owen? 273 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,165 Aunt Beru? 274 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,066 Oh, my God! 275 00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:58,898 John Williams! 276 00:16:01,268 --> 00:16:05,131 Great, now we gotta do the rest of this thing with Danny Elfman. 277 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,065 (PLAYING ELFMAN-ESQUE MUSIC) 278 00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:29,632 HERBERT: Mos Eisley spaceport. 279 00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:33,665 You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. 280 00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:36,265 My sister Regina-D2 lives here. 281 00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:37,332 Is she single? 282 00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:38,532 She's a lez-bot. 283 00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:51,399 How are we gonna get in here? 284 00:16:51,467 --> 00:16:52,899 We don't have any chicks with us. 285 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,932 It's way easier to get into these clubs 286 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,399 if you have chicks in your group. 287 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:59,599 You ever notice that? No, I never have. 288 00:17:01,134 --> 00:17:02,898 Sorry, sir, private party tonight. 289 00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:05,331 I'm a friend of Dave Navarro's. 290 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,698 You're a friend of Dave Navarro's. 291 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,365 You saw me here last week. 292 00:17:08,434 --> 00:17:10,365 I seem like a cool dude. 293 00:17:10,434 --> 00:17:12,498 I saw you here last week. You seem like a cool dude. 294 00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:13,731 Move along. 295 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,066 Move along, move along. 296 00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:19,699 (STAR WARS CANTINA MUSIC PLAYING) 297 00:17:27,534 --> 00:17:29,532 (GROWLING) 298 00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,065 He doesn't like you. 299 00:17:34,134 --> 00:17:35,464 Sorry. 300 00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:37,598 I don't like you either. 301 00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,564 You don't even know me. 302 00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:41,199 You know what? That's fair. 303 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,998 I'm Pig Nose, and this is my brother-in-law, Scott. 304 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,465 He's visiting from Hoth. 305 00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:47,065 I don't know why they call it Hoth. 306 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,632 They should call it Coldth. 307 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,099 Okay, settle down. 308 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:51,498 I'm up after the band. 309 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,298 Thank you. We're the Cantina Band. 310 00:17:53,366 --> 00:17:55,032 If you have any requests, shout 'em out. 311 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,732 (THROWING VOICE) Play that same song. 312 00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:58,799 All right, same song, here we go. 313 00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:01,532 (STAR WARS CANTINA MUSIC PLAYING) 314 00:18:03,967 --> 00:18:06,698 Oh, no, Stormtroopers. Quick, R2, in here. 315 00:18:10,901 --> 00:18:13,166 This door's locked, move on to the next one. 316 00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:14,898 Well, maybe they're behind this door. 317 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,598 I just said it's locked. 318 00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,999 Well, can't you knock or something? 319 00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:20,266 Hello? 320 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,366 Well, I guess whoever's in there 321 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,032 won't be getting this giant check 322 00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:27,299 from Publishers Clearing House. 323 00:18:27,368 --> 00:18:29,999 CLEVELAND: Publishers Clearing House! QUAGMIRE: Shut up. 324 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,498 Did you hear something? I heard voices, but they've stopped, 325 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:35,932 so I'm gonna assume there's no one in there. 326 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,598 Hi, my sexy friend and I are looking for 327 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,698 a ship to take us to Alderaan, 328 00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:43,232 and I'm willing to pay big money. 329 00:18:43,301 --> 00:18:45,099 Well, you've come to the right place. 330 00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:47,698 I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon 331 00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:49,366 and the only actor whose career 332 00:18:49,435 --> 00:18:50,965 isn't destroyed by this movie. 333 00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:53,165 Is it a fast ship? Are you kidding? 334 00:18:53,234 --> 00:18:56,199 It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. 335 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,832 Um, isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time? 336 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,431 (STUTTERING) 337 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,731 Chewie, take these guys to the ship and get her ready. 338 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,998 (GARGLING) 339 00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:08,765 Always gargle before a takeoff. 340 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,431 Wokka, wokka! All right, let's go. 341 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,765 (IN ALIEN LANGUAGE) 342 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,999 Greedo, as a matter of fact, I was just 343 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:19,732 going to see Jabba and tell him... 344 00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:22,999 (IN ALIEN LANGUAGE) 345 00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,732 Well, what do you think? 346 00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:48,532 What a piece of junk! 347 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,899 Thank you, this was my brother's. He died of leukemia. 348 00:19:50,967 --> 00:19:52,332 How do you feel now? 349 00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,432 You got any strawberry milk in there? 350 00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,732 No, but she'll make 0.5 past light speed. 351 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,165 If you want, I'll show you around, 352 00:19:58,234 --> 00:20:00,299 since no one's trying to stop the ship or blast us. 353 00:20:00,368 --> 00:20:02,632 Stop that ship, blast them. 354 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:03,865 Oh, now I can't show you around. 355 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,232 Quick, get in the ship. 356 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,899 Looks like we got Imperial Cruisers on our tail. 357 00:20:23,968 --> 00:20:25,233 Oh, look at that one on the left. 358 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,299 Get off your cell phone, you are driving. 359 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,732 (RADAR BEEPING) 360 00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:38,298 They're gaining on us. 361 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,665 We'll be safe enough, once we make the jump to hyperspace. 362 00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,799 Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose 'em. 363 00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:50,899 That... That was your maneuver? 364 00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:52,899 Moving slightly to the left? 365 00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:55,832 Well, I mean, we're not in the same place we were, huh? 366 00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:56,932 That ought to confuse 'em. 367 00:20:57,001 --> 00:20:59,364 Yeah, but you hardly did anything. 368 00:20:59,433 --> 00:21:02,465 You just started listing lazily to the left. 369 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:04,065 I'm pretty sure they can keep up. 370 00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,565 Where did they go? There they are! 371 00:21:05,634 --> 00:21:08,032 They're listing lazily to the left. Go left, left! 372 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,032 Boy, this guy knows some maneuvers. 373 00:21:10,101 --> 00:21:11,198 All right, strap yourselves in, 374 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:12,731 I'm about to make the jump to light speed. 375 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,432 Did he say "strap in" or "strap on"? 376 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,832 Man, hyperspace always looks so freaky. 377 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:29,464 (DOCTOR WHO THEME PLAYING) 378 00:21:39,134 --> 00:21:43,265 (HIP-HOP BASS BLARING) 379 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,765 Governor Tarkin. 380 00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:50,665 I recognized your foul stench as soon as I was brought onboard. 381 00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:54,699 Um, actually, that's me, I made a Darth doody. 382 00:21:54,767 --> 00:21:56,932 I sithed my pants. 383 00:21:57,001 --> 00:21:59,665 My diaper's gone over to the dark side. 384 00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:01,732 I got pages of these, I could go on. 385 00:22:01,801 --> 00:22:03,732 Princess Leia, we've chosen to test 386 00:22:03,801 --> 00:22:06,532 our Death Star planet blower-upper gun 387 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,832 on your home planet of Alderaan. 388 00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:10,099 No! 389 00:22:10,168 --> 00:22:12,599 She said no. Should we still do it? 390 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:14,365 Yeah. 391 00:22:17,267 --> 00:22:19,498 (WEAPON CHARGING) 392 00:22:27,401 --> 00:22:29,732 (GASPING) 393 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,898 So, anyway, I says, "Forget the dental plan, forget sick leave. 394 00:22:32,967 --> 00:22:36,332 "I just want a railing. You know, one railing right here." 395 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,398 Yeah, I know, I've almost fallen over that thing so many times. 396 00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:40,998 So, what did they say? 397 00:22:41,067 --> 00:22:43,599 Get this, they said they're worried we'd be leaning all day. 398 00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:44,798 They said that? 399 00:22:44,867 --> 00:22:46,332 (SCOFFS) Yeah. 400 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,631 Well, none of this will matter when we're famous singers. 401 00:22:52,267 --> 00:22:53,865 Good evening, Death Star. 402 00:22:53,934 --> 00:22:57,098 Tonight a special report on the controversial attack on Alderaan. 403 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,165 While some view the attack as unwarranted, 404 00:22:59,234 --> 00:23:00,799 the Empire has obtained proof 405 00:23:00,867 --> 00:23:02,232 that Alderaan was in possession 406 00:23:02,301 --> 00:23:04,065 of weapons of mass destruction. 407 00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:05,932 And now, let's go to our five day forecast. 408 00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:07,032 What's the weather like, Ollie? 409 00:23:07,101 --> 00:23:08,431 Space weather. Thanks, Ollie. 410 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,298 Coming up, we'll give you the road closures 411 00:23:10,367 --> 00:23:12,398 for this week's Ewok Pride Parade. 412 00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:13,498 Stay with us. 413 00:23:19,168 --> 00:23:20,198 How am I doing? 414 00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:21,932 Just keep your knees bent. 415 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:25,799 Imagine you're spreading butter on a big piece of bread. 416 00:23:25,867 --> 00:23:26,865 That's it. 417 00:23:26,934 --> 00:23:29,932 Spread that butter, with the Force. 418 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,632 Ha! You guys seem like crazy morons to me. 419 00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,631 You don't believe in the Force, do you? 420 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,232 Oh, you mean that thing you just found out about, 421 00:23:37,301 --> 00:23:38,798 like, three hours ago, and are now 422 00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:40,431 judging me for not believing in it? 423 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,899 Do you believe in anything? 424 00:23:41,968 --> 00:23:44,298 Uh, yeah. Didn't you see my Cabala bracelet? 425 00:23:44,366 --> 00:23:45,398 What's Cabala? 426 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,598 About $1.75. 427 00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:49,099 Honestly, I have no idea. 428 00:23:49,168 --> 00:23:50,465 I'm just a slave to trends. 429 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,066 What the hell? 430 00:23:55,135 --> 00:23:58,165 Oh, my God! We came out of hyperspace into an asteroid field. 431 00:23:58,233 --> 00:24:03,798 (ELECTRONIC EXPLOSIONS) 432 00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:06,299 Alderaan's been destroyed by the Empire. 433 00:24:06,368 --> 00:24:08,232 Maybe we should head for that small moon, 434 00:24:08,301 --> 00:24:11,232 that's clearly a small moon, and not anything else. 435 00:24:14,168 --> 00:24:17,564 That's no moon. It's a space station. 436 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,699 Oh, crap. They've got us in a tractor beam. 437 00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:25,231 Well, they're not going to get me without a fight. 438 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:30,965 You can't win. But there are alternatives to fighting. 439 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:32,032 Like what? 440 00:24:32,101 --> 00:24:34,698 Like getting the hell out of here! 441 00:24:36,201 --> 00:24:37,298 No, just kidding. 442 00:24:37,366 --> 00:24:38,932 Can you imagine if I was like that? 443 00:25:16,068 --> 00:25:17,066 (LASERS FIRING) 444 00:25:17,134 --> 00:25:19,731 (BODIES THUDDING) 445 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,698 PETER: All right, just follow my lead and act real cool. 446 00:25:22,767 --> 00:25:26,265 (MINNIE THE MOOCHER PLAYING) 447 00:25:44,867 --> 00:25:47,465 All right, I'm gonna go knock out that tractor beam. 448 00:25:47,534 --> 00:25:49,565 And we'll go rescue the princess. 449 00:25:49,634 --> 00:25:53,365 You know, Luke, this may be the last time we see each other. 450 00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:55,799 So there's something I want you to know. 451 00:25:55,868 --> 00:26:01,999 ♪ Now I've had the time of my life 452 00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:07,199 ♪ And I owe it all to you 453 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:11,132 ♪ I've been waiting for so long 454 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,331 ♪ Now I've finally found someone 455 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,331 ♪ To stand by me 456 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:20,032 ♪ So we take each other's hand 457 00:26:20,101 --> 00:26:25,565 ♪ 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency 458 00:26:25,634 --> 00:26:28,132 ♪ Just remember 459 00:26:28,201 --> 00:26:31,565 ♪ You're the one thing 460 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:36,498 ♪ I can't get enough of 461 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:41,598 ♪ So I'll tell you something 462 00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:45,765 ♪ This could be love because 463 00:26:45,834 --> 00:26:50,832 ♪ I've had the time of my life 464 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:54,999 ♪ No, I never felt this way before 465 00:26:55,068 --> 00:26:59,599 ♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth 466 00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:05,598 ♪ And I owe it all to you ♪ 467 00:27:07,934 --> 00:27:08,932 (SQUEAKING) 468 00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:12,732 (GROWLS) 469 00:27:12,801 --> 00:27:14,431 Holy shit! 470 00:27:18,067 --> 00:27:20,132 You ain't never gonna believe what I just seen. 471 00:27:20,201 --> 00:27:21,431 Tyra Banks? 472 00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,899 See, now you say something better, 473 00:27:22,967 --> 00:27:24,364 so my thing don't sound cool no more. 474 00:27:24,433 --> 00:27:25,899 Oh! Come on, what did you see? 475 00:27:25,967 --> 00:27:27,266 I don't remember. 476 00:27:27,333 --> 00:27:29,665 I just was thinking about Tyra Banks. 477 00:27:29,733 --> 00:27:30,765 (EXCLAIMS) 478 00:27:30,834 --> 00:27:31,832 Can you imagine? 479 00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:33,298 Every night! 480 00:27:33,366 --> 00:27:34,598 Don't shake my hand. 481 00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:36,631 You ain't got no hand! You a little truck. 482 00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:41,398 BRIAN: So, what are we on, the first floor? 483 00:27:41,466 --> 00:27:43,365 CHRIS: We are on the second floor. 484 00:27:43,434 --> 00:27:47,066 PETER: No, no, no, here's the Banana Republic, and we just passed that. 485 00:27:47,134 --> 00:27:50,365 It's right back there. We parked on the Macy's side, 486 00:27:50,434 --> 00:27:52,899 so now we must be over here by the JCPenney. 487 00:27:52,968 --> 00:27:55,565 CHRIS: It looks like the first floor is mostly men's stuff, 488 00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,631 and there's a Lady Foot Locker right over there. 489 00:27:57,700 --> 00:27:59,065 BRIAN: All right, so we're on the third floor. 490 00:27:59,134 --> 00:28:00,732 All right, let's get in the elevator. 491 00:28:00,801 --> 00:28:03,932 And hurry up, 'cause the smell of that Mrs. Fields is killing me. 492 00:28:04,001 --> 00:28:07,865 (THE IMPERIAL MARCH MUZAK PLAYING) 493 00:28:25,268 --> 00:28:27,231 Wrong floor. Stormtrooper church. 494 00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:29,332 And do you, Allen, take Judith 495 00:28:29,401 --> 00:28:31,132 to be your lawfully wedded wife 496 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,198 till death or a giant explosion do you part? 497 00:28:41,267 --> 00:28:43,532 Where are you taking this thing? 498 00:28:43,601 --> 00:28:46,065 Prisoner transfer from cell block 1138. 499 00:28:46,134 --> 00:28:48,132 You think you could get me a room by the pool? 500 00:28:48,201 --> 00:28:49,332 (LAUGHING) 501 00:28:49,401 --> 00:28:51,998 Is funny, because you are a prisoner 502 00:28:52,067 --> 00:28:54,632 and there is no pool because is Death Star. 503 00:28:55,034 --> 00:28:56,966 (MOANS) 504 00:28:57,034 --> 00:28:59,665 We've gotta find out what cell this princess of yours is in. 505 00:28:59,734 --> 00:29:00,932 There it is, 2187. 506 00:29:01,001 --> 00:29:02,166 I'm on it! 507 00:29:02,235 --> 00:29:03,865 Everything's under control here. 508 00:29:03,934 --> 00:29:05,432 Situation normal. 509 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:06,498 STORM TROOPER: What happened? 510 00:29:06,567 --> 00:29:08,698 We had a slight weapons malfunction, 511 00:29:08,767 --> 00:29:10,932 but everything's perfectly all right. We're fine. 512 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,732 We're all fine here now. Thank you. 513 00:29:14,801 --> 00:29:16,032 How are you? 514 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:18,265 (GROANING) I've been better. 515 00:29:18,334 --> 00:29:19,498 Well, tell me what's up. 516 00:29:19,566 --> 00:29:21,299 Well, I'm in this relationship 517 00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:23,366 and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. 518 00:29:23,435 --> 00:29:26,199 I like her, but we're not really connecting. 519 00:29:26,268 --> 00:29:28,099 How long has it been? About 10 months. 520 00:29:28,168 --> 00:29:29,531 And how often do you see each other? 521 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:30,966 Couple times a week. 522 00:29:31,034 --> 00:29:32,865 Well, why don't you try seeing each other a little more often, 523 00:29:32,934 --> 00:29:34,631 and see if you connect a little more? 524 00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:36,598 And if not, it may be time to move on. 525 00:29:36,667 --> 00:29:38,065 Thanks for calling. 526 00:29:38,133 --> 00:29:39,932 This is Han Solo and I'm gonna be keeping you company 527 00:29:40,001 --> 00:29:43,032 for the next few hours, right here on the midnight shift. 528 00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:48,765 ♪ Something's telling me it might be you 529 00:29:48,834 --> 00:29:52,766 ♪ It's telling me it might be you ♪ 530 00:29:54,867 --> 00:29:57,132 Aren't you a little fat to be a Stormtrooper? 531 00:29:57,201 --> 00:29:59,432 Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch. 532 00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:00,898 Wait, who are you? 533 00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,365 I'm Luke Skywalker. 534 00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:04,898 Me and Han Solo and Obi-Wan are here to rescue you. 535 00:30:04,967 --> 00:30:06,565 Wait, Obi-Wan Kenobi? 536 00:30:06,634 --> 00:30:07,699 Yeah! 537 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:09,699 Suddenly, I'm not so fat, huh? 538 00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,865 Come on, into the garbage chute. 539 00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:25,999 She's right! Come on, Chewbacca. 540 00:30:26,067 --> 00:30:27,165 What, are you kidding? It's probably 541 00:30:27,234 --> 00:30:28,932 full of disease. I'm not jumping in there. 542 00:30:29,001 --> 00:30:31,032 Not even if I throw this pig's ear? 543 00:30:31,101 --> 00:30:32,832 Oh, come on, that's not fair. Go get it! 544 00:30:32,901 --> 00:30:34,499 (BARKING) 545 00:30:36,767 --> 00:30:38,365 Oh, boy! Great idea, Princess, 546 00:30:38,434 --> 00:30:39,999 diving into a pile of garbage. 547 00:30:40,067 --> 00:30:41,832 Hey, when we get out of here, maybe you can show me around 548 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:43,099 your home planet of Alderaan. 549 00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:44,432 Aww... 550 00:30:44,501 --> 00:30:45,565 Too soon? 551 00:30:45,634 --> 00:30:46,932 Hey, it could be worse. 552 00:30:47,001 --> 00:30:48,932 (MECHANICAL ECHOING) 553 00:30:49,001 --> 00:30:50,199 It's worse. 554 00:30:53,433 --> 00:30:55,598 The walls are closing. 555 00:30:55,667 --> 00:30:56,665 (ALL SCREAMING) 556 00:30:58,001 --> 00:30:59,232 LOIS: Oh, my God! 557 00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:00,565 Listen to them, R2, they're dying! 558 00:31:00,634 --> 00:31:01,732 What do we do? 559 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,865 Only one thing to do, man. 560 00:31:03,934 --> 00:31:06,032 You still got that bag I gave you? 561 00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:12,332 Man, I wish I could listen to some 562 00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:15,199 Tatooine, Wind & Fire right now. 563 00:31:15,268 --> 00:31:16,699 Hmm. 564 00:31:16,768 --> 00:31:19,099 So, you think the Empire's gonna fall, man? 565 00:31:19,167 --> 00:31:21,932 (STUTTERING) I don't know, man. 566 00:31:22,001 --> 00:31:24,766 How you doing right now? 567 00:31:24,834 --> 00:31:26,432 Good. Why? 568 00:31:26,501 --> 00:31:30,366 I think I may be having sort of a mini freak-out here. 569 00:31:30,434 --> 00:31:31,732 Oh. 570 00:31:31,801 --> 00:31:34,532 Just tell me I don't have to stay in this room. 571 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,266 What? Just tell me, right now, 572 00:31:36,334 --> 00:31:37,866 that I don't have to stay in this room. 573 00:31:37,934 --> 00:31:39,866 You don't have to stay in this room. 574 00:31:39,934 --> 00:31:41,598 Oh, thank Christ! 575 00:31:44,834 --> 00:31:46,066 (ALL CHEERING) 576 00:31:47,467 --> 00:31:49,965 Thank God! We're saved. 577 00:31:50,034 --> 00:31:53,032 Look at this. Who throws out half a pizza? 578 00:31:53,101 --> 00:31:54,565 And look at this couch. 579 00:31:54,634 --> 00:31:57,599 Somebody threw out a whole couch and it's in great shape. 580 00:31:57,667 --> 00:32:00,099 Yeah, you put a little Febreze on that, scrub it out a little bit, 581 00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:01,665 it would look great in your apartment. 582 00:32:01,734 --> 00:32:04,898 You know what? I know we have a dangerous job to do here, 583 00:32:04,968 --> 00:32:08,665 but I'm taking this. I'm taking this couch. 584 00:32:08,733 --> 00:32:12,198 PETER: All right, ready? All right, one, two, three. 585 00:32:12,267 --> 00:32:14,798 Okay! Easy, easy, easy... 586 00:32:14,867 --> 00:32:16,098 Easy, easy... Wait! Wait, wait... 587 00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:17,298 Stop! Stop, stop... 588 00:32:17,367 --> 00:32:18,432 What? What, what? 589 00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:20,099 No, no, no. Twist it. I am. 590 00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:22,299 No, no, no. The other way. 591 00:32:22,368 --> 00:32:23,631 Which way? You're twisting the wrong way. 592 00:32:23,700 --> 00:32:24,899 What do you want me to do? 593 00:32:24,967 --> 00:32:27,132 Just look down, look at me, look what I'm doing. 594 00:32:27,201 --> 00:32:28,599 All right, see the way I'm twisting it? Yeah. 595 00:32:28,667 --> 00:32:30,898 Right, turn it that way from your end. Okay. 596 00:32:30,967 --> 00:32:34,665 No, no, no. Just put it down, 597 00:32:34,733 --> 00:32:35,731 just drop it. Yeah, yeah, okay. 598 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:36,865 All right, all right. 599 00:32:36,934 --> 00:32:38,432 All right, let's... 600 00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:39,965 Just hang on and figure this out. 601 00:32:40,034 --> 00:32:42,365 Han, there are Stormtroopers all over the place. 602 00:32:42,433 --> 00:32:43,899 Shouldn't we be getting out of here? 603 00:32:43,968 --> 00:32:47,398 All right, okay, all right, I got it, I know... 604 00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:48,632 Here's what we're gonna do. 605 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:50,165 We're going to take the cushions off, 606 00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:52,531 unscrew the legs, take the mattress out, 607 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,599 and this whole thing is going to be a lot simpler. 608 00:32:54,667 --> 00:32:56,299 It's easier than we're making it. 609 00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:15,998 (POWER DRAINING) 610 00:33:18,067 --> 00:33:19,365 Hey, did you hear something? 611 00:33:19,433 --> 00:33:21,798 Probably just another drill. 612 00:33:21,867 --> 00:33:24,032 You know that last drill we had? 613 00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:27,032 I was about to finally bone my girlfriend, 614 00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:29,598 and then we heard that there was this drill 615 00:33:29,667 --> 00:33:32,399 and she told me there was no way. 616 00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:41,865 STEWIE: So, Obi-Wan, we meet again. 617 00:33:41,933 --> 00:33:43,865 What part of, "Stay 50 yards away 618 00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:45,999 "at all times," don't you understand? 619 00:33:48,334 --> 00:33:49,532 Uh-oh! 620 00:33:49,601 --> 00:33:52,065 Your powers are weak, old man. 621 00:33:55,034 --> 00:33:56,465 CHRIS: Obi-Wan! 622 00:33:58,067 --> 00:34:00,499 Boy, you got here just in time. 623 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,565 No! 624 00:34:12,268 --> 00:34:14,632 Right! Go! Go, go, go. 625 00:34:17,667 --> 00:34:19,066 All right, twist it counter-clockwise. 626 00:34:19,134 --> 00:34:20,798 I am twisting it, you're twisting it the other way. 627 00:34:20,867 --> 00:34:24,232 I mean counter-clockwise from where I'm standing... So then you... 628 00:34:24,301 --> 00:34:26,032 So clockwise. So, yeah! Okay, all right. 629 00:34:26,101 --> 00:34:27,698 Yeah, so you twist it clockwise. 630 00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:30,898 Okay. Go! You know what? Put it down. 631 00:34:30,967 --> 00:34:32,731 Put it down for a sec. My fingers are killing me. 632 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:33,998 Han, they're shooting at us. 633 00:34:34,067 --> 00:34:35,665 All right, you know what? Lift it up tall-ways. 634 00:34:37,834 --> 00:34:40,098 For Christ's... It's wedged. It's wedged. 635 00:34:40,167 --> 00:34:42,132 All right, okay. You know what? It's not going anywhere. 636 00:34:42,201 --> 00:34:43,732 Let's just take off, we'll deal with it later. 637 00:34:43,801 --> 00:34:45,865 You get in the cockpit, and I'll just... 638 00:34:45,934 --> 00:34:47,532 I'll hang onto this thing as we go. 639 00:34:59,333 --> 00:35:00,464 Easy! 640 00:35:11,567 --> 00:35:13,365 I can't believe he's gone. 641 00:35:13,434 --> 00:35:17,065 I know, Luke, but it's true, he's gone. 642 00:35:17,134 --> 00:35:18,999 I mean, you saw him get beheaded. 643 00:35:19,067 --> 00:35:20,865 Nobody lives through that. 644 00:35:20,934 --> 00:35:22,599 Not for long anyway. 645 00:35:22,667 --> 00:35:24,798 I mean, sometimes the brain is still active 646 00:35:24,867 --> 00:35:27,365 for a few minutes after the beheading, 647 00:35:27,434 --> 00:35:30,465 but to be honest, I can't imagine a worse kind of hell. 648 00:35:30,534 --> 00:35:33,798 And unfortunately, hell is probably where he'll end up, 649 00:35:33,867 --> 00:35:35,365 because the Christians don't look 650 00:35:35,434 --> 00:35:37,898 too kindly on the whole Force thing. 651 00:35:37,967 --> 00:35:40,132 Come on, kid, we're not out of the woods yet. 652 00:35:43,801 --> 00:35:45,232 Here they come. 653 00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:50,165 (HUMMING STAR WARS BATTLE THEME) 654 00:36:01,934 --> 00:36:03,231 Hey, Han! What? 655 00:36:03,300 --> 00:36:04,999 Why do they call them TIE fighters? 656 00:36:05,068 --> 00:36:06,131 No idea. 657 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,898 (SPEAKING THAI) 658 00:36:18,667 --> 00:36:20,398 They're coming too fast! 659 00:36:20,467 --> 00:36:22,231 A nickel for every time I've had that problem. 660 00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:23,465 Just keep shooting, Luke. 661 00:36:31,067 --> 00:36:34,532 Yeah! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitch! 662 00:36:38,767 --> 00:36:40,698 I got him! I got him! 663 00:36:40,768 --> 00:36:42,598 Right, kid. Don't get penisy. 664 00:36:48,168 --> 00:36:50,065 I just want to tell you both, good luck! 665 00:36:50,134 --> 00:36:51,998 We're all counting on you. 666 00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:13,866 (EXHALES) 667 00:37:18,167 --> 00:37:20,865 Mom? Yeah, we won. 668 00:37:20,934 --> 00:37:22,998 Yeah, we won the battle. 669 00:37:23,067 --> 00:37:25,032 Yeah, I'm calling, like you asked. 670 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:26,932 Okay. Okay. 671 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,799 Okay, but I gotta go. 672 00:37:28,867 --> 00:37:30,632 I got other stuff to do. 673 00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:34,765 Okay. Okay, but I gotta go. Okay. 674 00:37:34,834 --> 00:37:37,865 Okay. Yes. Yes. 675 00:37:37,934 --> 00:37:40,365 Yes. Yes, Mom. I love you, too, Mom. 676 00:37:40,434 --> 00:37:42,298 Okay. All right. Goodbye. 677 00:37:42,367 --> 00:37:43,364 (EXHALES) 678 00:37:47,268 --> 00:37:50,366 The Homing Beacon is safely on board the Millennium Falcon. 679 00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,465 I'm taking an awful risk, Vader. 680 00:37:52,534 --> 00:37:54,499 It'd better work. 681 00:37:54,567 --> 00:37:56,199 You know, I think they took your old couch. 682 00:37:56,268 --> 00:37:57,866 What? I threw that away. 683 00:37:57,934 --> 00:38:00,399 Yeah, it was weird. I just killed Obi-Wan, and then I look over 684 00:38:00,467 --> 00:38:03,299 and there are these two dudes scurrying across with a couch. 685 00:38:03,368 --> 00:38:06,099 It had a stain on it, from when we had Hawaiian Punch night. 686 00:38:06,168 --> 00:38:09,099 Yeah, that's my couch. Rebel scum. 687 00:38:30,533 --> 00:38:32,199 (IMITATES LASER FIRING) 688 00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,531 Gotcha! 689 00:38:36,134 --> 00:38:39,899 Thanks to the information in this R2 unit provided by Princess Leia, 690 00:38:39,967 --> 00:38:43,365 we should be able to mount a successful offensive on the Death Star. 691 00:38:43,434 --> 00:38:47,531 But first, please take a moment to watch this instructional video. 692 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,298 Nothing but net. 693 00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:59,598 Hi! I'm Magic Johnson with a few tips on blowing up the Death Star. 694 00:38:59,667 --> 00:39:02,899 First off, never forget your objective. 695 00:39:02,968 --> 00:39:04,565 There are gonna be so many folks 696 00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:06,798 coming at you to slow you down, 697 00:39:06,868 --> 00:39:10,732 you might feel like you got a bull's-eye on your head. 698 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,966 No, but they will be trying to kill you. 699 00:39:14,034 --> 00:39:18,032 Also, don't forget you have teammates out there watching your back. 700 00:39:18,101 --> 00:39:19,565 Unless you've been messing around 701 00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:22,233 with their wife or girlfriend. 702 00:39:22,301 --> 00:39:25,299 No, but they will be there to help you. 703 00:39:25,367 --> 00:39:27,999 Lastly, you wanna make sure you step back 704 00:39:28,068 --> 00:39:30,531 and take cover after you sink that bucket. 705 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:34,631 'Cause that sky gonna light up like the Fourth of July. 706 00:39:34,700 --> 00:39:38,532 No, but there will be a large explosion. 707 00:39:38,601 --> 00:39:39,732 Any questions? 708 00:39:39,801 --> 00:39:41,032 Yeah, I got a question. 709 00:39:41,101 --> 00:39:44,266 Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? 710 00:39:45,734 --> 00:39:47,999 You'll get the answer to that question next Saturday. 711 00:39:48,068 --> 00:39:49,565 (SCOFFS) 712 00:39:49,633 --> 00:39:51,532 Don't mess with the bull, young man, you'll get the horns. 713 00:40:01,667 --> 00:40:03,199 Biggs? Jesus! 714 00:40:03,267 --> 00:40:04,732 What the hell happened to you? 715 00:40:04,801 --> 00:40:08,232 Oh! Hey, Luke. I was under a Y-wing working on the space engine, 716 00:40:08,301 --> 00:40:10,299 and the whole thing just dropped on me. 717 00:40:10,368 --> 00:40:11,565 Holy crap! 718 00:40:11,634 --> 00:40:13,466 Yeah. Holy crap. 719 00:40:13,534 --> 00:40:16,232 So, you here for the Death Star assault? 720 00:40:16,301 --> 00:40:17,732 Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. 721 00:40:17,801 --> 00:40:18,966 How about you? 722 00:40:19,034 --> 00:40:21,032 Well, no, I can't really... 723 00:40:21,101 --> 00:40:22,632 Oh, yeah, because of that... 724 00:40:22,701 --> 00:40:23,966 The chair. Chair, yeah. 725 00:40:24,034 --> 00:40:25,866 Yeah, so I'll just be here making sandwiches 726 00:40:25,934 --> 00:40:27,366 for when you guys get back. 727 00:40:27,434 --> 00:40:28,765 Oh... 728 00:40:28,834 --> 00:40:29,999 Well, that's cool. 729 00:40:30,067 --> 00:40:31,199 Yeah. 730 00:40:31,267 --> 00:40:32,799 You want anything special? 731 00:40:32,868 --> 00:40:34,599 What? You mean like a sandwich? 732 00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:37,165 Yeah. Oh, no, I mean, I couldn't... 733 00:40:37,234 --> 00:40:40,132 You know, whatever you make will be fine. 734 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,865 Hey, Biggs. Yeah? 735 00:40:41,934 --> 00:40:44,832 You're just as big a part of this as... 736 00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:48,398 I mean, you're doing stuff, and I think that's great! 737 00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:53,364 Well, kid, I guess this is goodbye. 738 00:40:53,433 --> 00:40:56,032 So, you got your reward and you're leaving? Is that it? 739 00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:57,466 When you say it that way, I sound like 740 00:40:57,534 --> 00:40:59,065 a douche, but, yeah, that's what I'm doing. 741 00:40:59,134 --> 00:41:01,132 What did you get for a reward, anyway? 742 00:41:01,201 --> 00:41:05,865 Let's see. I got 10% off a Netflix membership, 743 00:41:05,934 --> 00:41:08,132 some nice Cracker Barrel Cheddar, 744 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,665 assorted lotions, 745 00:41:09,734 --> 00:41:13,499 and a little plastic champagne bottle full of jelly beans, 746 00:41:13,567 --> 00:41:17,332 and a little bear. See? Little bear. 747 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,032 "Hey, Luke, we had fun on the Death Star." 748 00:41:20,101 --> 00:41:21,898 Well, take care of yourself, Han. 749 00:41:21,967 --> 00:41:24,499 I guess that's what you're best at. 750 00:41:24,567 --> 00:41:27,332 Oh, look! A light saber cheese knife! 751 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,032 Yuck! 752 00:41:46,667 --> 00:41:47,765 All wings, check in. 753 00:41:47,834 --> 00:41:48,899 Red Three standing by. 754 00:41:48,967 --> 00:41:50,299 Red Six standing by. 755 00:41:50,367 --> 00:41:51,665 Red Five standing by. 756 00:41:51,733 --> 00:41:53,065 Red Buttons standing by. 757 00:41:53,133 --> 00:41:54,399 Redd Foxx standing by. 758 00:41:54,467 --> 00:41:55,765 Big Red standing by. 759 00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:57,299 SEAN CONNERY: Red October standing by. 760 00:41:57,367 --> 00:41:58,832 Helen Reddy standing by. 761 00:41:58,901 --> 00:42:00,398 Simply Red standing by. 762 00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:33,265 I'm going in. Cover me, Porkins. 763 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:35,665 Having a little trouble here. 764 00:42:47,134 --> 00:42:48,398 Careful, Redd Foxx! 765 00:42:48,467 --> 00:42:50,198 There's one right on your tail. 766 00:42:55,634 --> 00:42:57,632 I'm coming, Elizabeth! 767 00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:07,832 HERBERT: Use the Force, Luke. 768 00:43:07,901 --> 00:43:08,999 Obi-Wan? 769 00:43:09,068 --> 00:43:12,899 Yeah, it's me. Use the Force. 770 00:43:12,967 --> 00:43:16,665 Force that thing in there, just like I showed you with those puppets. 771 00:43:16,734 --> 00:43:20,032 But don't tell nobody 'cause you'll get in trouble. 772 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,999 Clark, I don't like the look of this neighborhood. 773 00:43:30,067 --> 00:43:31,732 Come on, Ellen, it's important for the kids 774 00:43:31,801 --> 00:43:33,399 to witness the plight of the Rebellion. 775 00:43:33,467 --> 00:43:35,998 Kids, you noticing all this plight? 776 00:43:36,067 --> 00:43:37,199 Roll 'em up! 777 00:43:43,434 --> 00:43:45,898 The Force is strong with this one. 778 00:43:48,601 --> 00:43:49,766 (YELLING) 779 00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:51,498 Fuck you, you son of a bitch! 780 00:43:51,567 --> 00:43:53,299 What am I, R2Pac? 781 00:43:53,368 --> 00:43:55,531 COMPUTER: The Death Star is getting closer. 782 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,498 And Leia's getting larger. 783 00:44:10,101 --> 00:44:12,266 I have you now, young Skywalker. 784 00:44:12,334 --> 00:44:15,598 And with today's gas prices, not a minute too soon. 785 00:44:17,834 --> 00:44:18,865 What the deuce? 786 00:44:20,001 --> 00:44:21,265 (WHOOPING) 787 00:44:21,334 --> 00:44:22,698 Look at us. Look at how much more 788 00:44:22,768 --> 00:44:24,532 comfortable we are now shooting stuff. 789 00:44:51,333 --> 00:44:52,832 Whew! 790 00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:56,965 HERBERT: Luke, the Force will be with you always. 791 00:44:57,034 --> 00:45:00,032 And so will I, always. 792 00:45:00,101 --> 00:45:02,032 Of course when you get older and get 793 00:45:02,101 --> 00:45:05,098 some crow's feet, I might lose interest. 794 00:45:11,434 --> 00:45:13,231 (CROWD CHEERING) 795 00:45:15,301 --> 00:45:17,465 You did it! Yay! 796 00:45:17,534 --> 00:45:19,032 Hooray! I have your sandwich. 797 00:45:19,100 --> 00:45:23,098 Yay! My what? Oh! Thank you, Biggs. 798 00:45:23,167 --> 00:45:25,799 Yay! I'm part of things, too. Yay! 799 00:45:25,867 --> 00:45:26,865 (ALL CHEERING) 800 00:45:29,634 --> 00:45:31,065 The end. 801 00:45:32,001 --> 00:45:34,065 (ALL CHEERING) 802 00:45:34,134 --> 00:45:36,532 Wow, Dad, thanks for keeping us entertained. 803 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,365 That was a great story. 804 00:45:38,434 --> 00:45:42,798 Yeah, but didn't Robot Chicken already do this three months ago? 805 00:45:42,867 --> 00:45:44,432 I wouldn't worry about it, Chris. 806 00:45:44,501 --> 00:45:46,932 I don't think people are even aware of that show's existence. 807 00:45:47,001 --> 00:45:48,232 Well, I don't know, Dad. 808 00:45:48,300 --> 00:45:50,032 I think a decent number of people watch it. 809 00:45:50,100 --> 00:45:51,332 Oh, really? Define "decent." 810 00:45:51,401 --> 00:45:53,932 I think it's the highest rated show on Cartoon Network, 811 00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:56,298 and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience. 812 00:45:56,367 --> 00:45:59,065 Well, yeah, but double 10 people is, like, 20 people, 813 00:45:59,134 --> 00:46:01,499 so what kind of numbers are we talking about here, you know? 814 00:46:01,567 --> 00:46:04,032 Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. It's a legitimate show, 815 00:46:04,100 --> 00:46:05,865 and they beat you to the punch. 816 00:46:05,934 --> 00:46:07,531 I don't know about that, Chris. 817 00:46:07,601 --> 00:46:11,531 I mean, to me, a legitimate show is on ABC, CBS, NBC, 818 00:46:11,601 --> 00:46:13,699 you know, one of the real networks. 819 00:46:13,767 --> 00:46:15,264 I don't know about that, Dad. 820 00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:16,364 And besides, what's up with that 821 00:46:16,433 --> 00:46:18,431 15 minute runtime? What is that? 822 00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:21,364 That's like 15 minutes of guys playing with Star Wars dolls. 823 00:46:21,433 --> 00:46:24,565 Oh, yay, tune me in to that. Oh, so you do know the show! 824 00:46:24,634 --> 00:46:26,465 I read part of a review online. 825 00:46:26,533 --> 00:46:28,231 I am not a fan. 826 00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:30,698 You know, Dad, you're a real jerk! 827 00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:38,432 (HUMMING STAR WARS THEME)