1
00:00:02,967 --> 00:00:05,732
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:05,801 --> 00:00:09,398
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,466 --> 00:00:12,765
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,999
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:19,231
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:22,465
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:22,533 --> 00:00:24,232
♪ All the things
that make us
8
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,966
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:30,799
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:42,665
You know, kids,
there's a lot
of history here.
11
00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:45,932
These '50s diners
were very popular
in the '80s.
12
00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:47,798
Boy, am I going
to enjoy this meal.
13
00:00:47,867 --> 00:00:51,665
Not like last night when
I didn't have time to poop
before the guests arrived.
14
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,966
Do I have time?
You know what?
I'm going to go for it.
15
00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:55,531
(DOORBELL RINGS)
16
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,499
Son of a bitch! Looks like
I'm gonna have to pile
dinner on top of that.
17
00:00:57,567 --> 00:01:00,431
Hey, guys! How are you?
18
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:04,032
Look at this place.
They don't serve any of
this 1950s food anymore,
19
00:01:04,101 --> 00:01:07,098
hamburgers, French fries,
Cokes.
20
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,165
(CHUCKLING) You kids don't
know what I'm talking about.
21
00:01:10,234 --> 00:01:13,798
I love how all the servers
look like celebrities from
the '50s.
22
00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:17,398
Marilyn Monroe, Elvis,
23
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:20,032
and look,
there's James Dean
after the accident.
24
00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:23,265
Let me tell you about
tonight's specials.
25
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,799
Oh, look, Cleveland
finally made it.
26
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,298
Oh, hey there, Griffins.
27
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:29,465
(BARKING)
28
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:31,432
CLEVELAND: Oh, that
takes me back.
29
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:35,998
Hey, what are you,
a robot?
30
00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:39,765
Oh, no, son.
It's the 1950s,
and I have polio.
31
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,231
Wow, I never heard
of that before.
32
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:45,431
Oh, yeah, Chris, polio back
then was like AIDS today,
33
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,065
except people who have
polio get into heaven.
34
00:01:48,134 --> 00:01:51,333
(PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
♪ A-well-a, everybody's
heard about the bird ♪
35
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,798
Oh, my God,
this is Surfin' Bird
by The Trashmen.
36
00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:57,698
This is my favorite song
of all time!
37
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:00,199
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
38
00:02:00,268 --> 00:02:02,599
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
39
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:04,932
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
40
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:07,332
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
41
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,899
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
42
00:02:09,967 --> 00:02:12,298
♪ Chris, don't you
know about the bird?
43
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,631
♪ Meg, everybody knows
That the bird is the word
44
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,165
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
45
00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:19,565
♪ Hey, guy behind the counter
The bird is the word
46
00:02:19,634 --> 00:02:22,231
♪ Hey, frightened little child
The bird is the word
47
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,431
♪ Lady on the toilet,
the bird is the word
48
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:26,799
♪ Hey, don't you know
about the bird?
49
00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:29,265
♪ Sure, everybody knows
That the bird is the word
50
00:02:29,334 --> 00:02:31,198
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
51
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:32,332
♪ A-well-a bird... ♪
52
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,398
Again! Again!
I love repetition!
53
00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:36,898
(MUSIC STOPS)
54
00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:38,198
Hey, what's the big idea?
55
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:39,998
This song's from
the 1960s.
56
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,398
It shouldn't be
in this jukebox.
57
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:43,932
Wait, wait, can I have that
record? I love that song.
58
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:46,065
I'll let you have sex
with my daughter.
59
00:02:46,134 --> 00:02:48,565
I don't know.
Let's see what your
daughter looks like.
60
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:52,065
She's right there.
61
00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:54,965
Okay, I'll do her.
62
00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:57,398
But can you tell her
to cry and beg me
to stop?
63
00:02:57,466 --> 00:02:59,898
I think that
can be arranged.
64
00:02:59,968 --> 00:03:01,832
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird The bird is the word
65
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:05,431
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word ♪
66
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,331
Peter, will you give
that song a rest?
67
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,431
You've been playing it
ever since we got home.
68
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,799
No way, Lois,
it's my new favorite
thing in the world.
69
00:03:11,867 --> 00:03:12,898
(GRUNTS)
70
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:13,999
(MUSIC STOPS)
71
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:17,431
Lois, I'm going to ask
you this only once.
72
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,531
Do you or do you not
know about the bird?
73
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,698
Oh! God!
74
00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,732
'Cause everybody's heard
that the bird is the word.
75
00:03:24,801 --> 00:03:27,066
♪ A-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird's the word
76
00:03:27,135 --> 00:03:29,398
♪ A-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word
77
00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:31,166
♪ A-b-b-bird,
bird, bird... ♪
78
00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:32,766
Oh, God, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
79
00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:33,899
Look, just go to sleep,
all right?
80
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,332
PETER: (SOFTLY)
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word
81
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,798
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word
82
00:03:42,867 --> 00:03:45,132
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word
83
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,598
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word
84
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:50,532
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
the bird is the word ♪
85
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,099
Peter, I have a mammogram
in the morning.
86
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,065
Brian, can I see
that paper for a sec?
87
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,765
That's odd. I thought
that would be big news.
88
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,532
You thought what
would be big news?
89
00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:11,265
Well, there seems to be
an absence of a certain
ornithological piece.
90
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:15,798
A headline regarding
mass awareness of
a certain avian variety.
91
00:04:15,867 --> 00:04:16,898
What are you
talking about?
92
00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:18,298
Oh, have you not heard?
93
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:20,632
It was my understanding
that everyone had heard.
94
00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:21,932
Heard what?
Brian, don't!
95
00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:24,231
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
96
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,698
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
97
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,066
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
98
00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:31,565
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
99
00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:33,898
♪ Brian, don't you
know about the bird?
100
00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:36,365
♪ Well, Peter's gonna
tell you about the bird
101
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:38,765
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
102
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:41,464
♪ A-well-a bird,
surfin'... ♪
103
00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,098
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
104
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,965
(GASPS)
105
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,932
Oh, my God! Peter,
are you all right?
106
00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,499
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
107
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,432
Peter, I was just
at the bank,
108
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:14,665
and they told me
you withdrew $6,000
cash from our savings.
109
00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:16,365
That's almost
everything we have.
110
00:05:16,434 --> 00:05:17,565
What the hell
was it for?
111
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,698
I bought some local
TV airtime, Lois,
112
00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:22,598
and I did a public
service announcement
of vital importance.
113
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:24,598
Thank you.
114
00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:26,231
Hi. I'm Peter Griffin.
115
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,498
You know, there's an issue
facing many Americans today
116
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,698
that I know concerns
a great number of us.
117
00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:32,465
According to Gallup polls,
118
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,999
one in 12 Americans
is unaware that
the bird is the word.
119
00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,531
I, for one,
dream of an America
120
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,699
where everybody knows
that the bird is the word.
121
00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:42,032
♪ A-b-b-bird, bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
122
00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:44,932
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word ♪
123
00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:47,032
My God, is it possible?
124
00:05:47,101 --> 00:05:49,398
Have the boys in
the lab confirm this.
125
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:53,465
Sir, our math shows that
the bird is equal to
or greater than the word.
126
00:05:53,534 --> 00:05:54,798
Check it again!
127
00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,565
PETER: ♪ ...the bird
is the word
128
00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,166
♪ A-well-a, bird, bird,
bird, the bird is the word ♪
129
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,531
Brian?
130
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,632
Yeah?
131
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,698
I don't feel so good.
132
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,165
All right, that's it.
We got to do
something about this.
133
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,532
We have got to get that
record and destroy it.
134
00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:14,065
Just like that
fat-person surgery
destroyed Star Jones' arms.
135
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,632
I look so good!
I lost all this weight.
136
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:20,265
Taxi!
137
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,465
Coming to show the people
how good I look!
138
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,198
(SNORING)
139
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:32,265
♪ A-b-b-bird,
bird, bird...
140
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,899
♪ B-b-b-bird, bird, bird...
141
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,899
♪ Don't you know
about the bird?
142
00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:46,765
♪ Everybody knows
That the bird is the word ♪
143
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,199
(PETER SCREAMING)
144
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,932
Who did it?
145
00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:00,032
Who did what, Pop?
146
00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:01,831
Yes, Peter,
what has you upset?
147
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:04,398
Surfin' Bird is gone.
148
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,865
I took it to bed,
had sex with it,
it fell asleep in my arms,
149
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:08,232
and this morning it's gone.
150
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,631
Well, Peter,
nobody here would
steal from you.
151
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,265
Oh, no one had
a motive, Lois?
152
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,965
You all had a motive,
every one of you!
153
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,298
You knew that I changed
my will and left everything
to the record.
154
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:17,932
And that's why you wanted
the record out of the way.
155
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,599
Meg wanted to get
a passport for her
twin sister
156
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,698
to get her out of the
country, but the record
wouldn't allow it.
157
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:24,133
But Meg didn't count
on me discovering
she has no twin sister
158
00:07:24,201 --> 00:07:26,498
and that Meg herself
was recently released
from the sanitarium.
159
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:27,999
And that's where Chris
came into the picture.
160
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:30,099
So, you got it all
figured out, do you?
161
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:32,199
You couldn't leave
well enough alone.
162
00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:35,299
You won't fire at me,
Chris, you don't got
the stomach for it.
163
00:07:35,368 --> 00:07:37,199
(LAUGHING)
I'm sorry, Dad.
164
00:07:37,268 --> 00:07:38,799
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
165
00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:40,198
Well, it sure is odd.
166
00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:42,464
A record doesn't just
get up and walk away.
167
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:44,765
Except for my old
Allan Sherman record.
168
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:47,698
If you ain't gonna
play me, don't complain
when I try to split.
169
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,999
There's a lot
of Jews out there
170
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:52,232
still get a laugh off
of Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah.
171
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:55,465
Such heat this morning.
I don't need this jacket.
172
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,066
Well, the hell
with all of you!
173
00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:59,898
I'm going downtown
and buy another copy
of Surfin' Bird.
174
00:07:59,967 --> 00:08:01,231
Peter, that's
not necessary.
175
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:02,398
I'm sure it'll
turn up somewhere.
176
00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:03,499
I wouldn't count
on it, Lois.
177
00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:07,398
(STILL PLAYING)
178
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:29,166
♪ Back up in your ass
with the resurrection
179
00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,966
♪ Is the group harder
than an erection
180
00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:32,365
♪ That shows more affection
181
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,531
♪ They wanna ban us
on Capitol Hill
182
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,398
♪ 'Cause it's
die muthafuckas,
die muthafuckas
183
00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:39,598
♪ All along it was the geto,
nothing but the geto
184
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:42,899
♪ Takin' short steps
one foot at a time
and keep my head low
185
00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:44,398
♪ And never let go
186
00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:46,232
♪ 'Cause if I let go,
then I'll be spineless
187
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,565
♪ I'm going insane
188
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:49,865
♪ I think my mind
just goes outta control
189
00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:51,899
♪ And judge your subjects
muthafuckas read about
190
00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:54,166
♪ I touch on the shit
that they be leavin' out
191
00:08:54,235 --> 00:08:56,232
♪ I seen this
muthafuckas .9 smokin'
192
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,999
♪ I seen the same nigga
with the .9 die
with his eyes open
193
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,732
♪ And simply
what this means is
194
00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,831
♪ He didn't know that
every dog had his day
195
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,399
♪ Until he seen his
196
00:09:05,468 --> 00:09:07,065
♪ I bet you
muthafuckas will too
197
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:10,832
♪ Because it's die muthafucka,
die muthafucka still fool ♪
198
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:19,599
Do you have Surfin' Bird
by The Trashmen?
199
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:20,898
No, I'm sorry.
200
00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:23,564
A dog and a baby came in
and bought all 63 copies.
201
00:09:23,634 --> 00:09:27,799
Damn it! This is the
third used-record store
with that same story.
202
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:31,832
You... You look familiar.
Do I... Do I know you?
203
00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:33,365
Did you go to North
Providence High School?
204
00:09:33,434 --> 00:09:34,765
No.
You friends with Gary,
205
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,133
who owns the dry cleaners?
206
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,665
No.
207
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:39,465
Are you Jesus Christ?
No.
208
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:41,298
Oh, my God, you are!
209
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,232
You're Jesus Christ!
No, I'm not.
210
00:09:43,301 --> 00:09:45,132
I'm just a guy working
at a record store.
211
00:09:45,201 --> 00:09:47,699
Well, if you're
not Jesus Christ,
212
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:50,399
then you won't mind if I
pee on these Amy Grant CDs.
213
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,365
Don't!
You are Jesus.
214
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,032
Yes. I am.
215
00:09:54,101 --> 00:09:57,298
Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ!
The messiah!
216
00:09:57,366 --> 00:09:59,132
You've returned!
You've returned
217
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,332
to bring us
the good word!
218
00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:01,632
What word?
219
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,932
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
220
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,298
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
221
00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:08,732
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
222
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,132
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
223
00:10:11,201 --> 00:10:13,565
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word ♪
224
00:10:18,268 --> 00:10:20,632
Jesus Christ has
returned to Earth!
225
00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:22,765
I can't believe it!
The second coming!
226
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:25,132
Will you keep it down?
It's not the second coming.
227
00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,899
Okay, so what are
you doing here?
228
00:10:26,968 --> 00:10:30,266
Well, believe it or not,
I pop in every hundred
years or so,
229
00:10:30,335 --> 00:10:33,166
kind of incognito,
just to get away
from the family.
230
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:34,531
Plus the timing
seemed good
231
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,264
'cause my dad
just quit smoking and
he's a little on edge.
232
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,132
Who took my checkbook?
233
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,632
Ellen?
234
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,431
Why is there a pen cap
and no pen?
235
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,231
You're the first person to
recognize me in 2,000 years.
236
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,832
Well, you seem
like a nice guy.
237
00:10:47,901 --> 00:10:49,531
Hey, why don't you
come over to my house
for dinner tonight?
238
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,298
Okay, but I don't get
off till 7:00.
239
00:10:51,366 --> 00:10:52,699
Great. We'll have a blast.
240
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,631
After we eat,
we can watch that
YouTube footage
241
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:56,765
of Marlee Matlin
calling Moviefone.
242
00:10:56,834 --> 00:11:00,365
MAN: (ON PHONE) Please
say the name of the movie
you'd like to see now.
243
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:02,132
The Last Mimzy.
244
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,265
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch that.
245
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:07,699
Please say the name
of the movie you'd
like to see now.
246
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,165
The Last Mimzy.
247
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,599
You have selected 300!
248
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:16,265
If this is the movie
you'd like to see,
say yes now.
249
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:17,332
No!
250
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,765
You have confirmed 300.
251
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:27,731
Wow, Jesus Christ
at our dinner table.
252
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,098
I still can't
get over it.
253
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:31,099
I'm actually glad
you're all here tonight.
254
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:34,798
I want to tell you
that one of you
will betray me.
255
00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:36,331
(LAUGHING) Just kidding!
256
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,632
(LAUGHS) He's doing
that thing he did
in the storybook.
257
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,032
So, Jesus,
finish that story
you were telling us.
258
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,299
Oh. All right, all right.
259
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,731
So there I was, they'd
just beaten me senseless,
260
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,698
stuck thorns in my head,
nailed me to a piece of wood,
261
00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:51,898
shoved a sponge
full of vinegar in
my mouth and killed me.
262
00:11:51,968 --> 00:11:55,631
Then they put me in a hole
with a rock in front of it
for two whole days,
263
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,264
and come Sunday, bam,
I rise from the dead.
264
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,398
Okay, that sounds
like a nutty weekend,
but I can top it.
265
00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:04,732
So, me and Cleveland
and Joe are just wrecked
on Southern Comfort, right?
266
00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:06,631
We know we're gonna puke,
but Joe says,
267
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:08,598
"Hey, let's go see
Chronicles of Riddick."
268
00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:10,732
Sat through the whole
thing without puking,
269
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:14,431
then I get home,
wouldn't you know,
I lost my glasses.
270
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,199
Peter one, Jesus zero.
271
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,233
You know, Jesus,
if I go get
my cell phone,
272
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,966
would you mind
talking to my friend
Muriel Goldman?
273
00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:23,432
I really just want to
stick this up her ass.
274
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,899
All right, I'll be
the one to say it.
275
00:12:24,968 --> 00:12:26,866
How do we know
you're really Jesus?
276
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:28,131
Can you perform miracles?
277
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,366
Sure. How about this?
278
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,865
Oh, boy! Sundaes!
279
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:35,265
I love you, Jesus!
280
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,065
I love you, too, fellow.
281
00:12:37,134 --> 00:12:38,231
Hey, Jesus, can you
do something for me?
282
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,264
Sure, Peter.
What is it?
283
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,365
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
284
00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:52,299
Say, listen, Jesus,
I know you're trying
to keep a low profile,
285
00:12:52,368 --> 00:12:55,099
but there's one person
I really want you to meet.
286
00:12:55,168 --> 00:12:56,565
Oh, yeah? Who's that?
287
00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:59,498
The American people
may have turned
against the war,
288
00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:01,698
but I answer
to a higher power.
289
00:13:01,768 --> 00:13:04,364
I answer to the power
of Jesus Christ.
290
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:07,765
Well, that's funny,
because I happen to have
Jesus Christ right here.
291
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:09,498
I heard what
you were saying.
292
00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:11,365
You know nothing
of my work.
293
00:13:11,434 --> 00:13:14,132
How you ever got to be
president of anything
is totally amazing.
294
00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:15,332
Boy, wouldn't it be great
if life were like this?
295
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:20,032
Hey, listen, Jesus,
296
00:13:20,101 --> 00:13:21,832
thanks for coming by
tonight and hanging
out with us.
297
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:22,965
You may look like a bum,
298
00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,965
but you got a lot
of talent, young man.
299
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:29,965
Well, I never
thought I'd say this,
but I have had a blast.
300
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,899
Oh, wonderful!
Wonderful!
301
00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:36,032
Yeah, I'd forgotten how
great it is interacting
with other people.
302
00:13:36,101 --> 00:13:37,665
Well, I better
get some sleep.
303
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,066
I got to open
the store tomorrow.
304
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:40,932
You don't want to go back
to that record store.
305
00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:42,299
You got to get
back out there,
306
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,364
coloring eggs and
hiding them for kids.
307
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:47,098
What, you mean
reveal myself?
308
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:49,865
Absolutely. This world
needs you, Jesus.
309
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,798
It needs you like a guy
who can't get it up
needs a distraction.
310
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,165
(MOANING)
311
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,899
I am so ready to
have sex with you.
312
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,231
Oh, hey, is that my phone?
313
00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,665
I don't hear anything.
314
00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,065
Is that John Astin?
315
00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:02,665
I don't see
anyone out there.
316
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:03,765
Oh.
317
00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:05,932
Well, now there's
so much going on.
318
00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:07,832
You know, you're right,
Peter, it may be time.
319
00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:09,432
But how do we do it?
320
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:11,865
Everyone, may I have
your attention, please?
321
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,932
I would like to introduce
you to the one, the only,
322
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,331
Jesus Christ.
323
00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:17,998
That's right.
324
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,932
That's Jesus Christ
right here.
325
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,665
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, right.
326
00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:25,531
Look at these idiots.
They're not even listening.
327
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,966
You know what?
We got to prove it to them.
328
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,032
Listen, I'm gonna go
into that supermarket
and get some water,
329
00:14:30,101 --> 00:14:31,565
and you're gonna
turn it into wine.
330
00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:34,598
Okay, cool.
Hey, can you get me
a Cracked Magazine?
331
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:36,299
Cracked?
Yeah.
332
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,899
Jesus Christ, unbelievable.
All right, I'll be back.
333
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,498
(WIND HOWLING)
334
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:45,098
Oh, crap!
Don't worry, I'll get it.
335
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,165
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
336
00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:53,765
It is Jesus!
Oh, my God!
337
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:54,898
It's him!
338
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:56,032
It's Jesus!
339
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:57,531
And his best pal, Peter.
340
00:14:58,700 --> 00:14:59,865
Oh, wow!
341
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,098
Fifteen minutes,
Mr. Christ.
342
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:12,098
Wow, Jesus, can you
believe you're gonna
get to meet Jay Leno?
343
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:15,132
Mom, why is it that
when Jesus revealed
himself to the world,
344
00:15:15,201 --> 00:15:16,932
he became famous,
and when I did it,
345
00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:19,264
I got suspended
for five days?
346
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,399
You know, I owe this
all to you, Peter.
347
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:23,065
You gave me the
confidence I needed.
348
00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:24,498
Never mind
about that, pal.
349
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,565
You just go out there
and knock 'em dead.
350
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,498
Now, who are you?
Jesus Christ.
351
00:15:28,567 --> 00:15:30,198
Who are you?
Jesus Christ.
352
00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:31,665
Who are you?
Jesus Christ!
353
00:15:31,734 --> 00:15:32,965
Now, go get them!
354
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:35,099
All right, my thanks
again to Dave Coulier.
355
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,798
Season three of Full House
is out on DVD March 5th.
356
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,498
My next guest died
for our sins,
357
00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:42,731
and now it looks like
he's back on the scene.
358
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,165
Please welcome,
from the Bible,
359
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:45,698
Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus?
360
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:47,131
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
361
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:53,032
Hey, well, Jesus,
welcome to the show.
362
00:15:53,101 --> 00:15:54,565
Thanks, Jay.
Glad to be here.
363
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:56,798
So, Jesus, what've
you been doing since
you've been back?
364
00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:58,832
Oh, you know,
just kind of
bumming around,
365
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,398
playing a little
Call of Duty 4,
366
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:01,799
eating a lot
of Pinkberry.
367
00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,431
(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)
368
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,298
(LAUGHING)
369
00:16:05,366 --> 00:16:07,231
And I've been sampling
the nightlife out here.
370
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,132
I raised River Phoenix
from the dead,
371
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,531
then we went out
to the Viper Room,
and he OD'd again.
372
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,132
(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)
373
00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:17,699
Jesus Christ, everybody!
374
00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:20,364
We'll be right back
with Joss Stone.
375
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:27,432
Did you see that?
He made Jay Leno laugh!
376
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,698
This guy is gonna be huge.
377
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,565
Yes, we're here for
the Paris Hilton party.
378
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,698
Who the hell are you?
379
00:16:50,768 --> 00:16:51,999
I'm Peter Griffin
from Family Guy.
380
00:16:52,068 --> 00:16:53,066
Never heard of it.
381
00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:54,265
It's all right T,
they're with me.
382
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,365
Hey, JC. What's up?
383
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,565
You guys are good to go.
384
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:59,565
Thanks, man.
385
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,432
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
386
00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:08,032
Wow, a Paris Hilton party.
387
00:17:08,101 --> 00:17:10,532
Oh, this is so cool.
388
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,631
Hey, Paris,
I'm a friend of Jesus'.
389
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,298
Check it out,
I have a cool bag, too,
390
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,231
and it has a dog in it
just like yours.
391
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,364
Hi, Paris, I'm Meg.
392
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:19,932
I met Larry King.
393
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,765
Name-dropper.
394
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,065
Hey, Perez Hilton.
How you doing, bitch?
395
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,131
Good, bitch.
How are you, bitch?
Good, bitch.
396
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,432
What's new, bitch?
Nothing, bitch.
397
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,132
Cool, bitch.
Bitch.
398
00:17:29,201 --> 00:17:31,598
Wow, I can't believe
I'm really here.
399
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,732
Who would've thought,
me, Peter Griffin,
400
00:17:33,801 --> 00:17:35,232
the guy who just
two weeks ago
401
00:17:35,301 --> 00:17:37,232
drew a smiley face
on his own testicle
402
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:40,632
to make his son laugh...
Well, I lost my train
of thought.
403
00:17:40,701 --> 00:17:41,832
But this is
really exciting.
404
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:43,465
I'm having a blast.
405
00:17:43,534 --> 00:17:45,132
And it's all
'cause of you, Jesus.
406
00:17:45,201 --> 00:17:47,799
Hey, like I said,
you're the one
who got me here.
407
00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:50,165
Some might say
you're my savior.
408
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,232
(CHUCKLING)
409
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:57,665
♪ Me and Jesus
410
00:17:57,734 --> 00:18:00,631
♪ Come and hug
and squeeze us
411
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:06,098
♪ 'Cause you know
That he's a simply
Christ-terrific dude
412
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:09,698
♪ His eyes are bluish
413
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:12,765
♪ Bright and I love you-ish
414
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,798
♪ And he's also Jewish
415
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:17,865
♪ But he's not
the least bit rude
416
00:18:17,934 --> 00:18:20,065
♪ Peter, my boy
417
00:18:20,134 --> 00:18:21,266
♪ Yes
418
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,765
♪ You're sweet
as chocolate cake
419
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:27,099
♪ You bring me joy
420
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,832
♪ And so I won't
forsake you
421
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,099
♪ Like the gays do
422
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:35,364
♪ Me and Jesus
423
00:18:35,434 --> 00:18:37,999
♪ What a happy pair
424
00:18:38,068 --> 00:18:39,565
♪ Together we're hotter
Than walking on water
425
00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,766
♪ We walk on air
426
00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:43,332
You're a real pal, Jesus.
427
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,765
Well, I'll tell
you this, Peter.
428
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,065
You ain't never had
a friend like me.
429
00:18:47,134 --> 00:18:50,465
♪ Me and Jesus
430
00:18:50,534 --> 00:18:53,432
♪ Those are words
that please us
431
00:18:53,501 --> 00:18:55,598
♪ 'Cause we're close
as Beezus
432
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,799
♪ And Ramona Quimby are
433
00:18:58,867 --> 00:19:01,765
♪ My life is sweeter
434
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,565
♪ With my new friend Peter
435
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:07,532
♪ You're a lotus eater
436
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,599
♪ Now that
you're a superstar
437
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:14,065
♪ It used to be
438
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,565
♪ I always
took the brunt
439
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:19,866
♪ But now you're free
440
00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:23,631
♪ And Bush's
bombing countries
441
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:24,865
♪ 'Cause I like it
442
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:28,165
♪ Me and Jesus
443
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:30,865
♪ Friends until we die
♪ Again
444
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:31,932
♪ Together forever and ever
445
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,832
♪ We never will say goodbye ♪
446
00:19:37,867 --> 00:19:42,065
MAN: Now back to
the MTV Movie Awards,
hosted by Dane Cook.
447
00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:43,532
Hey, everybody,
what's up?
448
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,198
Dane Cook here
in the house at
the MTV Movie Awards.
449
00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,565
What's up? What's up?
Hey, you know what I hate?
450
00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:49,765
When you eat
an ice-cream cone
451
00:19:49,834 --> 00:19:51,198
and it's all, like, cold,
and you're like...
452
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:52,532
(GROANING)
453
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:54,765
And you're like,
"Why didn't you warn me
that's so cold?"
454
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,398
And he's like,
"It's ice cream, dude."
455
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:57,732
And you're like,
"Oh, man!"
456
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,665
But chicks don't do that,
because they use a spoon.
457
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,298
What's up?
Su-Fi! Boo! MySpace.
458
00:20:03,867 --> 00:20:05,165
Is he saying
something funny?
459
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:07,966
I don't know, but
he's moving around
a lot, so I guess.
460
00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:10,631
(CHUCKLING)
He was on the Internet,
and I'm in college.
461
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,065
And now to present
the award
462
00:20:12,134 --> 00:20:15,999
for Sickest Onscreen
Gangsta Pimp-Out Burizness,
463
00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:18,398
Jesus Christ
and the Pussycat Dolls.
464
00:20:22,734 --> 00:20:25,398
Yay, Jesus!
That's my buddy, Jesus.
465
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:29,265
Hey, it's a pleasure
to be here with you six
interchangeable women.
466
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:30,665
Last time I was
down here on Earth,
467
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:31,732
I only hung around
with one whore.
468
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,465
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
469
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:46,066
Come on, guys,
let's head over
to my crib.
470
00:20:46,134 --> 00:20:47,832
Hey, you guys
mind scooting
over a little bit?
471
00:20:47,901 --> 00:20:50,732
Ooh. Sorry, Peter,
doesn't look like
there's any room.
472
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,465
What... What do you mean?
473
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,133
Well, there's only
one space left,
474
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,732
and I promised it
to that cow.
475
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:57,198
This is gonna be
so much fun!
476
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:58,798
I'm gonna stick
my head out the sunroof
477
00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:02,865
and wave my arms and go,
"Whoo! I'm in Hollywood!"
478
00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:04,966
(WHOOPING)
I'm in Hollywood!
See? I said I'd do it!
479
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,231
Peter, would you
put that thing away?
480
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,698
We're trying
to eat dinner.
481
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:14,865
I can't believe
fucking Jesus hasn't
called me back.
482
00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:16,865
I left him a message,
like, four hours ago.
483
00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:18,865
Well, maybe he doesn't
have his phone with him.
484
00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:21,598
No, no, it rang twice,
and then the voicemail
picked up.
485
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,398
If it had gone straight
to voicemail, that means
the phone was off.
486
00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:26,898
If it rang, like,
six times, that means
he didn't hear it.
487
00:21:26,967 --> 00:21:28,465
But it rang twice, Lois.
488
00:21:28,534 --> 00:21:30,731
That means the phone rang,
he saw it was me,
489
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,331
and then he pressed
a button and sent it
straight to voicemail.
490
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,999
You know what?
Give me your phone.
I bet he'll pick up.
491
00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:39,032
Hey, hey, Lois!
492
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:40,598
Hey, you, it's Peter.
493
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,865
What the hell?
We were supposed
to do something today.
494
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:45,598
I forgot to tell you,
I have a doctor's
appointment today.
495
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:47,765
I'm actually there now.
496
00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:50,299
MAN 1: Hey, look!
Lindsay Lohan just
took her top off!
497
00:21:50,367 --> 00:21:53,365
WOMAN: Hey,
I just drank a beer!
Who wants to do me?
498
00:21:53,433 --> 00:21:54,732
MAN 1: I do!
MAN 2: Me too!
499
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,631
MAN 3: I just did you,
but I'll go again!
500
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,099
I got to go.
501
00:21:58,168 --> 00:22:00,464
Can you believe the way
Jesus is treating me?
502
00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:01,799
I thought
he was my friend.
503
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:05,398
Look, fame and success
do crazy things
to people, Peter.
504
00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:08,631
I'm sure, deep down,
he's still the
same old Jesus.
505
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:10,999
He may just need
to figure that out
in his own way.
506
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:14,665
Maybe. But one thing's
for sure, Lois, none of
this would've happened
507
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,199
if somebody hadn't
stolen my fucking
Surfin' Bird record!
508
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,131
Tonight's top story,
local record-shop
employee, Jesus Christ,
509
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,632
was found
in Mary-Kate Olsen's
apartment this morning,
510
00:22:28,701 --> 00:22:30,364
face down and unconscious.
511
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,799
Police revived and arrested
the disoriented Jesus,
512
00:22:32,867 --> 00:22:34,331
who was quoted as saying,
513
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,265
"Jews are responsible
for all the world's wars."
514
00:22:37,334 --> 00:22:39,331
Brian, you think
that's our Jesus?
515
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,598
(PHONE RINGING)
516
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:43,199
Griffin residence.
Peter speaking.
517
00:22:43,268 --> 00:22:46,266
Oh, yeah?
Why should I?
518
00:22:46,335 --> 00:22:48,066
Yeah? Well,
get someone else
to bail you out,
519
00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,665
'cause it ain't
gonna be me.
520
00:22:50,734 --> 00:22:52,899
Yeah, well, what are
you gonna do about it?
521
00:22:52,968 --> 00:22:53,999
All right, I'm coming!
522
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,331
Jesus Christ,
look at you!
523
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,832
You had it all, money,
fame, eternal life,
524
00:23:03,901 --> 00:23:06,331
the perfect hand
for masturbating,
and you blew it!
525
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,732
You let it all
go to your head!
526
00:23:07,801 --> 00:23:09,232
I know, Peter.
527
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,132
I guess it turns out
I'm just as human
as anyone else.
528
00:23:12,634 --> 00:23:14,899
Yeah, well,
what do we do now?
529
00:23:14,968 --> 00:23:16,431
You want the truth?
530
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,266
I think it's time
for me to go.
531
00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:21,398
This world's not ready
for me yet, and I'm not
ready for it.
532
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:22,598
I don't know,
533
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,999
maybe I'll try coming back
in another thousand years,
534
00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:26,865
when I'm a little
more mature.
535
00:23:26,934 --> 00:23:29,932
Well, that's a very
mature thing to say
right there.
536
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,132
I think you're
on your way.
537
00:23:32,201 --> 00:23:36,199
Well, before I go, Peter,
there's something I want
to give you.
538
00:23:36,267 --> 00:23:38,032
Hold out your hands.
539
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,365
Well, I guess
that's it, then.
540
00:23:46,433 --> 00:23:47,498
Jesus is gone.
541
00:23:47,567 --> 00:23:49,465
I sure am
gonna miss him.
542
00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:51,099
Me, too.
543
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:53,199
Although he did give me
something right before
he disappeared.
544
00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:54,298
What?
545
00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:55,731
Something very special, Lois.
546
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,832
What is it, Dad?
547
00:23:56,901 --> 00:23:57,899
What, you haven't heard?
548
00:23:57,968 --> 00:23:59,198
Fuck!
549
00:23:59,267 --> 00:24:01,398
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
550
00:24:01,467 --> 00:24:03,865
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
551
00:24:03,934 --> 00:24:06,265
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word ♪
552
00:24:07,768 --> 00:24:10,499
♪ A-well-a, everybody's
heard about the bird
553
00:24:10,567 --> 00:24:12,498
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
554
00:24:12,566 --> 00:24:14,799
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word
555
00:24:14,867 --> 00:24:17,332
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
556
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,732
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
557
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,132
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
558
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,499
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
559
00:24:24,567 --> 00:24:26,932
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
560
00:24:27,001 --> 00:24:29,365
♪ A-well-a bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
561
00:24:29,434 --> 00:24:31,865
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word
562
00:24:31,933 --> 00:24:34,132
♪ A-well-a, don't you
know about the bird
563
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,565
♪ Well, everybody knows
that the bird is the word
564
00:24:36,634 --> 00:24:40,699
♪ A-well-a bird, bird,
b-bird's the word ♪