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00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,503
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:06,889
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,360
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,329
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:13,397 --> 00:00:16,916
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:20,204 --> 00:00:21,721
♪ All the things that make us
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00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,506
♪ Laugh and cry
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00:00:23,574 --> 00:00:28,495
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,020
♪ Family Guy 10x11 ♪
The Blind Side
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
11
00:00:32,045 --> 00:00:35,545
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,405
Stewie, what are
you doing?
13
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,074
Oh, just doing a
little tai chi.
14
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,560
You know how the Asians
look 30 until they're 60?
15
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,794
This is why.
16
00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:46,446
Of course, then they
suddenly look 100,
17
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:47,580
but cross that
bridge, you know?
18
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:48,781
Is this a Japanese thing?
19
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,200
No, Chinese.
20
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,901
The Japanese have a whole
other thing going on.
21
00:00:52,464 --> 00:00:53,664
Hey, you want to see a movie?
22
00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:56,614
No, we're Japanese, let's watch
a schoolgirl bang an octopus.
23
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:57,696
Yeah!
24
00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:01,996
Suction cup feel good!
25
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,852
And of course the most
important part of any workout
26
00:01:07,919 --> 00:01:10,304
is a proper cool
down and a stretch.
27
00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:12,339
What? What is it?
28
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,208
I got a splinter!
29
00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:20,231
Oh, my God, Stewie, what is it?!
30
00:01:20,298 --> 00:01:21,515
Oh, he's just
got a splinter.
31
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,017
Oh, my poor baby.
32
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,319
It's 'cause these old stairs
are just falling apart.
33
00:01:25,387 --> 00:01:26,620
It's not just the stairs.
34
00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:28,789
Meg has spent two days
pinned under a roof beam.
35
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,194
Let's just focus
on the stairs, Brian.
36
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,748
Morning, Opie.
37
00:01:37,816 --> 00:01:39,717
Hey, what's going on?
You going somewhere?
38
00:01:41,453 --> 00:01:43,204
You got fired? Why?!
39
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,524
Oh, well, it's no wonder
40
00:01:46,591 --> 00:01:48,259
they finally caught you
doing that in here.
41
00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:49,693
I mean, the underside
of your desk
44
00:01:56,968 --> 00:01:58,169
Nice to meet you.
45
00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,370
W-What is this?
46
00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:00,938
We doing a new
secret handshake now?
47
00:02:01,006 --> 00:02:03,007
No, Griffin, she's deaf.
48
00:02:03,074 --> 00:02:04,809
Oh. Can she
read lips?
49
00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,343
Yes, I can.
50
00:02:06,411 --> 00:02:09,413
So if I do this, I can talk
about what a sweet rack she has?
51
00:02:09,481 --> 00:02:12,032
Yes, but try not to make
a boob-honking gesture
52
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,801
with your other hand
while you're saying it.
53
00:02:13,869 --> 00:02:15,369
Sorry.
It's okay.
54
00:02:15,453 --> 00:02:16,854
I'm used to people being
55
00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:19,657
a little uncomfortable
with me at first.
56
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,510
If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.
57
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:23,961
Yeah, actually, I do.
58
00:02:24,028 --> 00:02:27,164
Are your other senses better
on account of you can't hear?
59
00:02:27,232 --> 00:02:29,917
Like, can you smell my farts
before they even come out?
60
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:31,852
'Cause I got one
in the pocket right now,
61
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,655
and I want to know if I need
to feel self-conscious about it.
62
00:02:34,723 --> 00:02:36,524
I can't smell it, no.
63
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,676
I might be able
to see it, though.
64
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:42,429
A lot of people make small
movements when they fart.
65
00:02:42,514 --> 00:02:44,615
They twitch their
eye or something.
66
00:02:44,683 --> 00:02:46,617
Oh, like subtle
giveaways, huh?
67
00:02:46,685 --> 00:02:49,803
All right, well, t-tell me
if you can see when it happens.
68
00:02:51,106 --> 00:02:52,306
You just farted.
69
00:02:52,374 --> 00:02:53,607
Oh, my God,
you saw that?!
70
00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:56,343
You can see all my tiny,
subtle movements?
71
00:02:57,562 --> 00:02:58,996
You just did it again.
72
00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:00,631
Well, this is
gonna be a delight!
73
00:03:00,699 --> 00:03:02,283
I don't know
why Lois always said
74
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,351
she had problems
with female coworkers.
75
00:03:04,419 --> 00:03:07,021
So Abby, Elaine and Janet have
their little lunch clique,
76
00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:08,289
and of course
I'm not invited.
77
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,440
Seems like
you're doing everything
78
00:03:09,507 --> 00:03:10,774
and they're doing nothing.
79
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,710
Well, I don't know,
but what I do know is
80
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,028
that in the staff meeting,
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
81
00:03:14,095 --> 00:03:15,529
Christina said my inventory
system wasn't feasible.
82
00:03:15,597 --> 00:03:17,064
She's obviously
threatened by you.
83
00:03:17,132 --> 00:03:18,782
But when the associate sales
manager came back in the room...
84
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,100
It's ridiculous,
and I support you fully.
85
00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:21,535
...she told him the idea
as if it was hers...
86
00:03:21,603 --> 00:03:22,636
You can't let them
get to you.
87
00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:24,104
They're jealous
of what you have.
88
00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:26,290
It's nothing to do with you,
and everything to do with them.
89
00:03:26,358 --> 00:03:28,158
Only you can
prevent forest fires.
90
00:03:31,663 --> 00:03:34,315
Hey, Peter, you ready
to go to the Clam?
91
00:03:34,399 --> 00:03:35,699
Whoa, who's the hot chick?
92
00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:36,951
Oh, that's Stella.
93
00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:38,252
You don't have to whisper;
she's deaf.
94
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,270
Really?
95
00:03:39,337 --> 00:03:40,537
Oh, my God, that's hot.
96
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,239
I didn't know you had
a thing for deaf chicks.
97
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,557
Any kind of disabled
chick, Peter.
98
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,892
They can do
things to you
99
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,527
that regular chicks
don't even think of.
100
00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:47,895
Besides, you know me.
101
00:03:47,963 --> 00:03:49,380
I'm into a lot of
different stuff.
102
00:03:53,385 --> 00:03:54,802
What, did you hear something?
103
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:55,869
No, it's all good.
104
00:03:55,937 --> 00:03:56,870
All right.
105
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,730
You know, Chris,
a little friendly advice.
106
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,399
Uh, you're gonna
start dating soon;
107
00:04:08,466 --> 00:04:10,067
probably good
to get in the habit
108
00:04:10,135 --> 00:04:11,585
of chewing
with your mouth closed.
109
00:04:11,653 --> 00:04:14,204
Doesn't bother me, I'm just--
you know, one friend to another.
110
00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:16,173
Oh, what, you got
a problem with me?
111
00:04:16,241 --> 00:04:18,676
You think I'm gross?
112
00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:21,545
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
113
00:04:23,832 --> 00:04:27,334
Yeah. This is what you are
and this is what I am.
114
00:04:27,419 --> 00:04:29,019
Peter, hurry up!
115
00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:30,120
You're missing dinner.
116
00:04:38,013 --> 00:04:39,530
Lois, what the hell?!
117
00:04:39,597 --> 00:04:41,331
Oh, my God, Peter,
are you okay?!
118
00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:42,683
What the hell happened
to the stairs?!
119
00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:43,751
They're all
slippery now!
120
00:04:43,818 --> 00:04:45,452
I had them replaced,
remember?
121
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,022
The old ones were so rough,
and Stewie got that splinter,
122
00:04:48,089 --> 00:04:50,658
so I thought replacing
the wood was the best way to go.
123
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,159
When'd you do that?!
124
00:04:52,227 --> 00:04:54,495
The other day, when you spent
all that time at the drugstore.
125
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:55,796
Oh, yeah.
126
00:04:55,864 --> 00:04:57,197
Couldn't figure out
if that Hispanic lady
127
00:04:57,265 --> 00:04:58,098
worked there or not.
128
00:05:01,836 --> 00:05:03,671
Um... excuse me.
129
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:08,676
Excuse me.
130
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,845
Boy, I wonder where the
shampoos are around here.
131
00:05:13,782 --> 00:05:17,518
I said, "I wonder where the
shampoos are around here."
132
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,121
Oh, for God's sake,
I almost thought
133
00:05:21,189 --> 00:05:22,189
you were a
regular person.
134
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:23,457
Where's the shampoo?!
135
00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:28,595
What the hell?
136
00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,719
Hey, guys,
all the action's over here!
137
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,205
Quagmire, what
is all this?
138
00:05:38,273 --> 00:05:40,157
Peter's new coworker
gave me an idea.
139
00:05:40,225 --> 00:05:42,676
Welcome to
Disabled Ladies Night.
140
00:05:42,744 --> 00:05:44,178
Mine are made
from teak.
141
00:05:44,245 --> 00:05:45,579
What are yours
made from?
142
00:05:45,647 --> 00:05:48,449
Yeah, mine are actually just
pressboard with wood veneer.
143
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,983
I can't get wet.
144
00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,870
Oh. I think I
see my friends.
145
00:05:55,757 --> 00:05:57,908
Hey, uh, you guys
enjoy the carnival.
146
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:00,744
I'm gonna get
a drink at the bar.
147
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,713
Hey, uh, anyone
sitting here?
148
00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:03,897
No, go ahead.
149
00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:05,299
Thanks.
150
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,267
Hey, would you like
to go out sometime?
151
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,736
Wow, that was fast.
152
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,921
Yeah, well, you know, I read
somewhere that women decide
153
00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:13,140
within the first seven seconds
if they're interested in you
154
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,209
or not, so I figured I
wouldn't waste anybody's time.
155
00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:16,210
Fair enough.
156
00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:17,594
Sure, let's go out.
157
00:06:17,662 --> 00:06:18,662
- Really?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,564
Like you said,
I've already decided.
159
00:06:20,632 --> 00:06:21,565
I'm Kate.
160
00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:22,833
I'm Brian.
161
00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:24,802
Hey, uh, you want
to go outside?
162
00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:25,836
Maybe a little
quieter.
163
00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:27,254
Sure.
164
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,377
Oh, my God, I...
165
00:06:33,445 --> 00:06:35,095
Hey, check out Brian
with the blind chick.
166
00:06:35,163 --> 00:06:36,430
Hey, don't worry, Brian,
167
00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:37,865
you're still doing
better than Quagmire.
168
00:06:37,932 --> 00:06:39,032
He got a hooker.
169
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,901
Ha!
170
00:06:40,969 --> 00:06:42,369
No, no, but she is
a prostitute.
171
00:06:50,703 --> 00:06:53,287
Listen, you know, we can do
something else if you want.
172
00:06:53,355 --> 00:06:54,722
Why? I'm having a good time.
173
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,240
Well, I mean, I
just don't know
174
00:06:56,308 --> 00:06:59,143
how much fun it is for a blind
person to go to the movies.
175
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,713
Brian, blind people
go to the movies all the time.
176
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:03,114
We just listen.
177
00:07:03,182 --> 00:07:05,750
I might be blind, but my brain
has been trained to listen
178
00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:09,087
to any movie and know exactly
what's happening on screen.
179
00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:11,122
Like, I loved Titanic.
180
00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:13,608
I'm the king of the world!
181
00:07:22,301 --> 00:07:24,802
So you sure you don't
need me to come in?
182
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:26,921
Maybe show you
to your bed.
183
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:29,123
Pretty sure I can
find it, thanks.
184
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:30,792
Maybe next time I'll
have trouble, though.
185
00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:32,960
You might have to help
me find it next time.
186
00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:34,462
So there's a next time.
187
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:35,446
Definitely.
188
00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:36,414
Great.
189
00:07:36,482 --> 00:07:38,916
Well, all right, good night.
190
00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:42,987
Ugh! Our stupid
neighbor's dog barks 24/7.
191
00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:44,655
God, I hate dogs.
192
00:07:44,723 --> 00:07:46,174
Y-You do?
193
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:50,011
Yeah, they're just slobbery,
annoying, needy little bastards.
194
00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:52,113
I'm just not really a
dog person, I guess.
195
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,515
Oh. Uh, yeah, me neither.
196
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,334
Dog people can get
pretty annoying.
197
00:07:56,402 --> 00:07:58,352
Wow, this is
a nice apartment you have.
198
00:07:58,420 --> 00:07:59,720
Is this your dog?
199
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:02,957
Yes. Isn't he the cutest
little cutie wutie?
200
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,459
Look how cute he is.
201
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,827
Yes, he's very cute.
202
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,261
Yes, he's cute.
203
00:08:07,329 --> 00:08:09,313
Yes, he's cute,
cute, cute, cute.
204
00:08:09,381 --> 00:08:11,199
Look at him. Look
at him. Look at him.
205
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:12,333
Okay.
206
00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:14,569
Look at it! Look at
that face! Come on!
207
00:08:14,636 --> 00:08:16,387
Look at that face!
You look at him!
208
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:17,955
Look at that
face!
209
00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:22,460
Hey, guys, this is
driving me nuts.
210
00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,345
Was one of the dwarves
named Snappy?
211
00:08:24,430 --> 00:08:25,513
Kind of well dressed?
212
00:08:25,597 --> 00:08:27,165
Or am I-I just making that up?
213
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:33,554
Oh, my God, Dad!
214
00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:34,922
Dad, are you okay?!
215
00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:36,591
Damn it, I hate
these new stairs!
216
00:08:36,658 --> 00:08:37,859
Yeah, I'm fine.
217
00:08:37,926 --> 00:08:39,060
I'll just--
I'm-I'm just gonna
218
00:08:39,128 --> 00:08:40,995
lie here until the
pain goes away.
219
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:42,697
What are you
guys watching?
220
00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:44,665
We now return to
the first time travel movie
221
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,567
with a perfectly functioning
time machine.
222
00:08:46,635 --> 00:08:48,269
All right, if I'm correct,
223
00:08:48,337 --> 00:08:50,872
this should land us
in six million B.C.
224
00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:54,459
Quick!
Get us out of here!
225
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,979
Boy, that was close.
226
00:08:58,046 --> 00:08:59,347
Oh, my God,
where's Frank?!
227
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:00,648
I'm over here.
228
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:01,883
Oh, okay.
229
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,708
Brian, if I ever
take up roller derby,
230
00:09:10,776 --> 00:09:12,376
what do you think
my name should be?
231
00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:15,546
Bruisin' B. Anthony,
Alicia Sleaze or Quahag?
232
00:09:15,614 --> 00:09:17,348
How about Harlot O'Scara?
233
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:18,633
Aw, you dick,
that's genius.
234
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,867
How'd your date go?
235
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,769
Aw, went great.
We had an awesome time.
236
00:09:21,837 --> 00:09:23,471
She's really smart,
really funny.
237
00:09:23,539 --> 00:09:24,739
Cute?
Yeah, hot, actually.
238
00:09:24,806 --> 00:09:26,207
I don't know
how she does it,
239
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,142
but she dresses really well
for a blind girl.
240
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:29,710
I mean, like,
her body is just...
241
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,480
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:33,481
What?
243
00:09:33,549 --> 00:09:34,582
Don't "what" me.
244
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:35,816
You just said
she's blind.
245
00:09:35,884 --> 00:09:37,018
You just said it.
246
00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:38,419
You totally
buried the lead.
247
00:09:38,487 --> 00:09:39,887
Yeah, well, it's not
that important.
248
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,389
So what if she can't see?
249
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,090
She's amazing
in every other way.
250
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:44,792
Okay, if you say so.
251
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:47,228
Hey, does she have really
weird, messed-up eyes?
252
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,729
No, her eyes are normal.
253
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,115
They're beautiful, actually.
254
00:09:51,183 --> 00:09:52,984
Bet they're not.
255
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,670
Bet they look like bowls of milk.
Shut up.
256
00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:57,138
You sure she isn't
just using you?
257
00:09:57,206 --> 00:09:58,439
Seeing-eye dogs are expensive;
258
00:09:58,507 --> 00:10:00,708
she may just be trying
to get one for free.
259
00:10:00,776 --> 00:10:02,743
No, actually, she doesn't
want a seeing-eye dog.
260
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,012
She hates dogs.
261
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,113
What?
262
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:07,248
She doesn't like dogs.
263
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:08,783
She's just not a dog person.
264
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,551
What? Does she not
know you're a dog?
265
00:10:10,619 --> 00:10:11,819
How is that possible?
266
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:14,455
Well, we-we haven't
done anything yet.
267
00:10:14,523 --> 00:10:16,857
So I'm-I'm just gonna, I'm just
gonna avoid touching her
268
00:10:16,925 --> 00:10:18,392
until a little more time
has passed.
269
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:21,028
And by the time I tell her,
I'll have impressed her so much
270
00:10:21,096 --> 00:10:22,480
that the dog thing
won't even matter.
271
00:10:22,548 --> 00:10:23,798
Yeah, well, good
luck with that.
272
00:10:23,865 --> 00:10:25,833
You know, I like
your delusion, Brian.
273
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:28,469
Most people would say,
"I lost, I give up,"
274
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:30,371
but you, you just
keep trying.
275
00:10:30,439 --> 00:10:32,240
You're like the
Dominican Republic.
276
00:10:32,307 --> 00:10:34,308
Always killing the guy
in charge and saying,
277
00:10:34,376 --> 00:10:37,278
"Oh, this new guy, this new
guy's gonna get it right."
278
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,879
Well, that's just because
I have confidence
279
00:10:38,947 --> 00:10:40,214
that I'll find happiness.
280
00:10:40,282 --> 00:10:41,716
Hey, anything's
possible, right?
281
00:10:41,783 --> 00:10:43,384
I mean, I once
found the Batcave.
282
00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:45,786
Look, you can't expect
to hire 60 workers
283
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,789
to dig a cave under your house
and then keep it a secret.
284
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,658
I mean, those men
live in this town.
285
00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:53,261
Yeah, but I told them it was
part of a geological survey.
286
00:10:53,328 --> 00:10:54,745
Batman, Batman.
287
00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:58,299
They built a lazy Susan
for your nuclear car.
288
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,152
That's something they consider
conversation-worthy.
289
00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:06,891
Gosh, this has been
an amazing week, Brian.
290
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,492
I still can't believe
you beat up
291
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,927
that guy
who tried to mug us.
292
00:11:09,978 --> 00:11:11,345
That was a great dinner.
293
00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:13,297
Yeah, I really liked that
salmon you recommended.
294
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,032
Yes. May I help
you gentlemen?
295
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,651
"Hey, you're in a
tough part of town.
296
00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:18,235
Now, give me your
purse, doll face."
297
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,587
Hey, you get your
hands off that!
298
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,022
I don't care how many
of you there are--
299
00:11:21,089 --> 00:11:22,390
you're not taking
this purse!
300
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,158
"Ah, the hell we aren't.
Let's get him, boys!"
301
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,776
Brian?
Stay right there, Kate.
302
00:11:25,844 --> 00:11:26,944
I'll handle this.
303
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,081
Yeah, you like
that, huh?
304
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,198
"Ooh! This
guy's tough!"
305
00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,035
"No fair. He
knows karate.
306
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,337
Usually, handsome guys ain't
so good with their fists."
307
00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:39,507
And stay away from
my girlfriend.
308
00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:40,791
Brian, I know
karate, too.
309
00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:42,043
I can help you.
310
00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:43,444
"You stay out
of this, lady!"
311
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,365
I got one!
I think I got one!
312
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:49,500
Yeah, yeah, but I-I
got the other four.
313
00:11:49,568 --> 00:11:51,002
They're-they're
gone now.
314
00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:52,236
They're gone.
315
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:54,171
Well, they took the
gift I had for you,
316
00:11:54,239 --> 00:11:55,339
but at least
you're okay.
317
00:11:55,407 --> 00:11:57,074
And that trip
to the Eiffel Tower
318
00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:58,542
was just amazing.
319
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,581
Are we almost
at the top?
320
00:12:03,649 --> 00:12:05,399
Yeah, just a
few more steps.
321
00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,318
Here we are.
322
00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:09,570
Ah, the winds of Paris.
323
00:12:09,655 --> 00:12:11,238
Isn't that what they say?
324
00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:13,357
Oh, that breeze
is gorgeous.
325
00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:15,793
And I think I smell...
croissants?
326
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,078
Do you?
327
00:12:17,162 --> 00:12:18,963
You have an amazing
sense of smell.
328
00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,164
Oh, there it is.
329
00:12:20,232 --> 00:12:21,499
There's what?
Oh, nothing.
330
00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:22,917
Just the, uh,
Goodyear blimp.
331
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:25,386
It says, "I love you,
Kate," all in lights.
332
00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:27,138
Here in Paris?
333
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,490
Yeah, it's... it's here for
Wimbledon or something.
334
00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:30,841
Oh, my God.
335
00:12:30,892 --> 00:12:31,976
That's the most
romantic thing
336
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,377
anybody's ever
done for me.
337
00:12:33,428 --> 00:12:34,679
Well, get used to it.
338
00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:36,263
You're going to be
hearing a lot of things
339
00:12:36,348 --> 00:12:37,498
I've done for you.
340
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,620
We now return to True Blood.
341
00:12:42,688 --> 00:12:44,555
Hi. I'm a nude vampire.
342
00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:46,857
Hi. I'm a nude werewolf.
343
00:12:46,925 --> 00:12:48,325
And that's the show!
344
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,894
Peter, come downstairs.
345
00:12:49,961 --> 00:12:51,562
That gay show you like is on.
346
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:52,697
Coming!
347
00:13:13,218 --> 00:13:14,518
Damn it!
348
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,170
Oh, my God, Peter.
Are you okay?
349
00:13:16,238 --> 00:13:17,872
No, I am not okay!
350
00:13:17,939 --> 00:13:19,774
Nothing about this
is okay!
351
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,442
You just need
to be more careful
352
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:22,977
coming down the stairs.
That's all.
353
00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:24,929
Easy for you to say.
354
00:13:24,996 --> 00:13:27,081
This is stressing
the crap out of me.
355
00:13:27,149 --> 00:13:29,683
Like when we had that
easily startled wallpaper.
356
00:13:31,286 --> 00:13:33,053
Aah!
357
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,579
Well, it's getting late.
358
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,963
I should probably go.
359
00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:45,316
Brian, this is like
our sixth date.
360
00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,884
I'm beginning to feel
like you're not
361
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,219
attracted to me
or something.
362
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,937
No, I... Oh,
my God, I'm...
363
00:13:50,005 --> 00:13:51,405
I'm so attracted
to you. I...
364
00:13:51,473 --> 00:13:54,108
So why haven't we
done anything about it?
365
00:13:54,176 --> 00:13:55,943
I-I just... you
know, sometimes
366
00:13:56,011 --> 00:13:57,445
taking things
slower is better.
367
00:13:57,512 --> 00:13:59,447
Just ask any sloth.
368
00:13:59,514 --> 00:14:02,750
Hey, is sometimes
taking things slower better?
369
00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,391
Yeah.
370
00:14:10,459 --> 00:14:13,894
I just... I like
you a lot, and I...
371
00:14:13,962 --> 00:14:15,196
I don't want to
ruin anything
372
00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:16,564
by moving too
fast, you know?
373
00:14:16,631 --> 00:14:18,599
'Cause sometimes,
when you...
374
00:14:21,019 --> 00:14:23,287
Brian, you never told me
you had a beard.
375
00:14:23,355 --> 00:14:24,755
I love beards.
376
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,123
Oh. Yeah.
377
00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:28,325
No, hey, I'm bearding
it up over here.
378
00:14:28,393 --> 00:14:32,179
Hey, Brian, would you be cool
with meeting my parents?
379
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,514
They're in town
this weekend,
380
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,099
and I thought we
could all have dinner.
381
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:36,867
Uh... sure.
382
00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:39,670
Are they... are they
driving themselves?
383
00:14:40,906 --> 00:14:43,274
If you're asking
if they can see, yes.
384
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,810
And since you can see...
385
00:14:45,877 --> 00:14:48,512
why don't you tell me
how these look?
386
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:50,447
Uh... they look
pretty damn great.
387
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,750
Then why don't you
tell me how they feel?
388
00:14:52,818 --> 00:14:54,218
Uh, next time.
389
00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:56,186
Some things are
worth waiting for.
390
00:14:56,238 --> 00:14:58,706
Wow. You're really
a true gentleman.
391
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,274
Yep, not too
many of us left.
392
00:15:07,181 --> 00:15:08,098
Stewie,
I need your help.
393
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,116
What? What is it?
394
00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:10,634
I have a crisis situation here.
395
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,219
Kate wants me
to meet her parents.
396
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,071
Hey, guys.
397
00:15:14,138 --> 00:15:17,557
Just gonna...
gonna take this.
398
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,893
Thank you.
399
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,478
What the hell
am I going to do?
400
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:22,813
All right, all right,
just calm down.
401
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,247
Calm down?
402
00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:25,866
We're all supposed to have
dinner tomorrow night,
403
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:28,118
and her parents
are going to see that I'm a dog.
404
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:34,458
Don't worry, Brian.
405
00:15:34,525 --> 00:15:35,692
I'll come up
with something.
406
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,361
Remember, I'm the
guy who came up
407
00:15:37,428 --> 00:15:38,979
with the choreography
to Showgirls.
408
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:41,214
♪
409
00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:43,200
Okay, stop.
Stop. Stop.
410
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,736
Elizabeth, darling,
too much hands, not enough hips.
411
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,187
Can I just show you?
412
00:15:48,723 --> 00:15:50,741
One, two, three, four.
413
00:15:50,808 --> 00:15:52,926
I'm dancing from my vagina.
414
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,711
One, two, three, four.
415
00:15:54,796 --> 00:15:56,696
I'm grinding, I'm grinding.
416
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,749
Orgasm eyes, orgasm eyes.
417
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,001
And we're done.
418
00:16:01,069 --> 00:16:04,504
You do 20% that,
and we got a movie.
419
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,727
Peter, what
is all this?
420
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:11,828
Oh, hi, Lois.
421
00:16:11,896 --> 00:16:13,130
I live upstairs now.
422
00:16:13,197 --> 00:16:14,398
What?
That's right.
423
00:16:14,465 --> 00:16:16,233
I made a nest
of my old underwears
424
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,734
on which
to lay my eggs,
425
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:20,137
and I shall raise my young
in this room alone.
426
00:16:20,204 --> 00:16:21,405
Peter, you're being an idiot.
427
00:16:21,472 --> 00:16:22,539
Oh, really?
428
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,774
Would an idiot
have been able
429
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,459
to rig this rig
to that rig?
430
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,127
Peter, that's nothing.
431
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,079
Oh, is it?
432
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,352
I died! I died!
433
00:16:44,412 --> 00:16:46,430
Oh, hi.
You must be Kate.
434
00:16:46,497 --> 00:16:47,798
I'm Brian's nurse.
435
00:16:47,865 --> 00:16:49,433
He's had a little accident,
I'm afraid.
436
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,468
Oh, my God, Brian!
Are you okay?
437
00:16:51,536 --> 00:16:52,736
Ah, don't worry.
I'm fine.
438
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,521
I'm just sort of
bandaged up right now.
439
00:16:54,588 --> 00:16:55,939
You must be Kate's parents.
440
00:16:56,023 --> 00:16:57,274
It's so nice
to meet you.
441
00:16:57,341 --> 00:16:58,942
Well, it's lovely
to meet you, too.
442
00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,610
So what happened?
443
00:17:00,678 --> 00:17:03,196
What happened is this one's
a hero, is what happened.
444
00:17:03,264 --> 00:17:05,432
Rescued two children
from a burning building.
445
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,933
Can you imagine?
446
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:09,119
Not quite in time-- they
were both horribly burned.
447
00:17:09,187 --> 00:17:10,720
Have that sort of
crème brûlée face
448
00:17:10,788 --> 00:17:12,472
going on now, but he
saved their lives.
449
00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:13,807
Oh, my, Brian.
450
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:15,542
I know, right?
So noble.
451
00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,511
Plus he's the only
one of my patients
452
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,613
to never ask me
for hand work.
453
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,415
Such a gentleman.
454
00:17:21,482 --> 00:17:22,516
Never even
tried anything
455
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,251
when I'm giving
him a sponge bath.
456
00:17:24,318 --> 00:17:25,419
And I'm very
thorough.
457
00:17:25,486 --> 00:17:27,053
I will wash the
abdominals.
458
00:17:27,121 --> 00:17:28,622
Not all nurses
do, but I do.
459
00:17:28,689 --> 00:17:29,890
And yes, sometimes
I graze it,
460
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:31,024
but you know what?
461
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,092
I'm a healthcare
professional.
462
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,660
It's what I do.
It's my work.
463
00:17:33,728 --> 00:17:34,795
It's important
to me,
464
00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:36,596
and this one
respects that.
465
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,499
And I'm very
grateful.
466
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:40,984
Why are you here again?
467
00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:44,521
Oh, my God!
I am so, so sorry.
468
00:17:44,589 --> 00:17:46,289
Uh, it's no problem.
Don't worry about it.
469
00:17:47,425 --> 00:17:48,792
What's that smell?
470
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,694
It smells like
wet dog in here.
471
00:17:52,063 --> 00:17:55,332
That is the... the
smell of backed up,
472
00:17:55,399 --> 00:17:57,367
unreleased
genital essence.
473
00:17:57,435 --> 00:18:00,036
As I said, he's been
an amazing gentleman.
474
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:02,088
Well, I'd like
to propose a toast.
475
00:18:02,156 --> 00:18:04,024
To Brian and Kate.
476
00:18:04,091 --> 00:18:05,959
I know we just met,
but you seem
477
00:18:06,027 --> 00:18:07,761
like you're really good
for our daughter.
478
00:18:07,829 --> 00:18:09,396
And risking your
life for those kids?
479
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,697
You're a good
guy, Brian.
480
00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:12,466
A really good guy.
481
00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:13,700
Wow. Thanks.
482
00:18:16,604 --> 00:18:18,205
What's that
thumping noise?
483
00:18:18,272 --> 00:18:19,940
- It's your tail.
- Stop wagging your tail.
484
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:21,575
I can't help it.
Do something.
485
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,363
Oh... oh, damn it.
486
00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:28,031
I meant hold it,
not cut it off.
487
00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:29,182
You weren't specific.
488
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,317
I've never done
this before.
489
00:18:30,368 --> 00:18:31,735
Are you okay, Brian?
490
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,187
Yeah, I'm just so happy
to meet you both.
491
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,991
What the hell
are you...
492
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,160
I'm cauterizing your tail.
Trust me, I'm a nurse.
493
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:42,462
Brian?
494
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,663
What's going on
over there?
495
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,765
I think
they burned our dinner.
496
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,317
Oh, God, it hurts.
It hurts, Stewie.
497
00:18:47,385 --> 00:18:48,835
Here's a little
morphine.
498
00:18:48,886 --> 00:18:51,271
What the hell? You're not
gonna stick me with that thing.
499
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,039
I don't think
that's a real nurse.
500
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,591
Just hold still.
Pretend you're at the vet.
501
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,876
Vet?
I hate the vet!
502
00:18:57,211 --> 00:18:58,828
There's a dog
in here!
503
00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:02,415
Yes! Okay?
504
00:19:02,483 --> 00:19:04,551
There's a dog in here.
I'm a dog!
505
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,591
I'm so sorry, Kate.
506
00:19:11,659 --> 00:19:13,460
I-I know you hate
dogs, and I...
507
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,996
I wanted to tell you--
I-I really did--
508
00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,831
but I-I just thought...
509
00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:20,166
I thought, if we got to know
each other better first,
510
00:19:20,234 --> 00:19:22,152
you would eventually
be able to see past it.
511
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,470
"See."
512
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,238
And I... I just... I
really care about you,
513
00:19:25,306 --> 00:19:27,140
and I really want this
to work, and I'm...
514
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,209
I'm so sorry I didn't
tell you before.
515
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:31,494
Can you ever forgive me?
516
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:33,730
Do you think that you
can still be with me?
517
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,999
You know what, Brian?
518
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,285
I could have gotten over
the fact that you're a dog,
519
00:19:38,352 --> 00:19:40,003
because I really do
care about you
520
00:19:40,071 --> 00:19:41,738
and I feel like we had
a connection,
521
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,074
but I can't get over the fact
that you lied to me.
522
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,375
You screwed up, Brian.
523
00:19:45,443 --> 00:19:47,210
And now you're
going to have to watch me
524
00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:48,662
walk out that door.
525
00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:06,496
Well, it sounds
like I'm needed outside.
526
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:13,270
Mom, what were
all those carpenters
527
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,471
doing here today?
528
00:20:14,538 --> 00:20:16,273
Putting back our old
crappy stairs, Meg.
529
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,807
I didn't have a choice.
530
00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,559
Yay! I love my old stairs!
531
00:20:21,662 --> 00:20:24,180
Uh-oh,
I forgot to cut Joe down.
532
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,750
Joe, what are you
doing up there?
533
00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:28,518
Enjoying Heaven, Bonnie.
534
00:20:28,586 --> 00:20:30,120
Come join me.
535
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,355
There's a gun in
my nightstand.
536
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,376
Brian, I know
you're upset
537
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,777
about what happened with
Kate and everything,
538
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,212
but I did have
one more thought.
539
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,580
Yeah, what's that?
540
00:20:40,648 --> 00:20:41,881
Well, since Kate is blind,
541
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,583
you could probably just
do a different voice
542
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:45,318
and go out with her
all over again.
543
00:20:50,612 --> 00:20:52,012
Hey. Are you Kate?
544
00:20:52,037 --> 00:20:52,812
Yes.
545
00:20:52,868 --> 00:20:55,070
- Hey, it's Noah from JDate.
- Oh, my God! Hi!
546
00:20:55,137 --> 00:20:59,137
== sync, corrected by elderman ==