1
00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:38,325
Ow!
2
00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,277
There's a rock right there!
3
00:00:40,343 --> 00:00:42,267
There's a huge rock right there,
4
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:43,335
and it's covered up by grass
5
00:00:43,403 --> 00:00:44,987
and there's no way
you can see it.
6
00:00:45,055 --> 00:00:46,455
And I got lucky.
7
00:00:46,523 --> 00:00:48,173
But someone else could
hurt themselves,
8
00:00:48,241 --> 00:00:51,427
and, and a small cut is a, is a
death sentence in these times,
9
00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:53,429
so let's just, you know,
let's...
10
00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:56,031
let's get these rocks out
of here.
11
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:01,958
♪ Family Guy 10x12 ♪
Livin' on a Prayer
Original Air Date on January 29, 2012
12
00:01:01,983 --> 00:01:05,983
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
13
00:01:15,802 --> 00:01:18,670
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny
rabbit on the train ♪
14
00:01:18,738 --> 00:01:21,206
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train ♪
15
00:01:21,274 --> 00:01:23,742
♪ And he's wiggling his nose
and his little bunny ts ♪
16
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:26,495
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train. ♪
17
00:01:26,563 --> 00:01:28,597
Okay, what else we got
on that train?
18
00:01:28,665 --> 00:01:30,282
A kitty cat.
A doggy.
19
00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,451
Kevin Smith 'cause he's too fat
to ride a plane!
20
00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:34,119
Okay, I heard kitty cat.
21
00:01:34,187 --> 00:01:37,389
♪ Oh... there's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train ♪
22
00:01:37,457 --> 00:01:38,824
God, you know,
I don't know why
23
00:01:38,892 --> 00:01:40,626
this guy's wife isn't here
watching this stuff.
24
00:01:40,693 --> 00:01:42,661
If I were her,
I'd be here every show.
25
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,863
♪ There's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train. ♪
26
00:01:44,948 --> 00:01:48,367
Thanks, everybody.
See you next week.
27
00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:49,952
Yay! He's a good singer.
28
00:01:50,019 --> 00:01:51,553
Yeah, I've been catching
his library shows
29
00:01:51,621 --> 00:01:53,689
since there were only, like,
three or four kids here.
30
00:01:53,757 --> 00:01:55,140
You should have
been here, man.
31
00:01:55,208 --> 00:01:56,375
Those were the shows.
32
00:01:56,443 --> 00:01:58,527
Oh, looks like
somebody made a friend.
33
00:01:58,595 --> 00:02:00,462
I know.
Aren't they cute together?
34
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:02,714
Adorable. I'm Lois.
35
00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:04,166
Hi, I'm Hope.
36
00:02:04,234 --> 00:02:06,969
Any relation
to Bob Hope?
37
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:08,170
I'm kidding!
38
00:02:08,221 --> 00:02:09,421
I'm kind of known
for having
39
00:02:09,489 --> 00:02:10,823
a twisted sense
of humor.
40
00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:12,724
Oh, don't worry,
I watch Regis and Kelly.
41
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:14,009
I can handle it.
44
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:18,597
Hi, glad to know you.
45
00:02:18,665 --> 00:02:20,432
Gosh, you know,
our little Scotty seems
46
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,885
to be having such a good time
with your son.
47
00:02:22,952 --> 00:02:24,203
Would you be interested
48
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,921
in getting them together
for a playdate?
49
00:02:25,989 --> 00:02:28,590
Oh, that sounds
like a wonderful idea.
50
00:02:28,658 --> 00:02:30,092
Look at them.
They're getting along
51
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,127
like Billy Bob Thornton
and his cat.
52
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,996
Billy Bob?
53
00:02:34,063 --> 00:02:35,764
Leave me alone!
I'm taking a bath!
54
00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:41,153
Stewie, do you want
to be the Autobots
55
00:02:41,221 --> 00:02:42,654
or the Decepticons?
56
00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:44,356
What's with all
these labels, man?
57
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:46,725
Autobots, Decepticons,
gay, straight--
58
00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:48,760
just pick a few robots,
and let's party.
59
00:02:48,845 --> 00:02:50,412
Hey, what's
going on in here?
60
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,164
Oh, hello, Brian.
We're playing Transformers.
61
00:02:52,232 --> 00:02:53,932
Oh, cool.
Who's this little guy?
62
00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:55,951
It's my new friend, Scotty.
63
00:02:56,019 --> 00:02:57,352
Do you mind? We're busy.
Oh.
64
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:58,987
Hi, doggie.
You want to play with us?
65
00:02:59,055 --> 00:03:00,255
Scotty, Scotty, it's fine.
It's fine.
66
00:03:00,323 --> 00:03:01,457
You don't have to.
67
00:03:01,524 --> 00:03:02,524
He doesn't know
Transformers.
68
00:03:02,592 --> 00:03:03,792
Yeah, actually,
I-I'd love to play.
69
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:04,960
Wh-Who should I be?
70
00:03:05,028 --> 00:03:06,612
Should I be one
of these guys?
71
00:03:06,696 --> 00:03:08,664
I-I'll be this guy.
Who's this guy, huh?
72
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:09,798
What's this guy's story?
73
00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:11,150
That's Optimus Prime.
74
00:03:11,217 --> 00:03:12,751
You can't be him.
Scotty's Optimus Prime.
75
00:03:12,819 --> 00:03:15,320
Oh, all right. Well, I'll be,
I'll be this guy.
76
00:03:15,388 --> 00:03:16,755
How about this guy?
77
00:03:16,823 --> 00:03:19,057
What was that?
Did you just growl?
78
00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:21,493
What robot growls?
That's Starscream.
79
00:03:21,561 --> 00:03:23,028
He's a Decepticon.
I'm the Decepticons.
80
00:03:23,096 --> 00:03:24,663
Look, why don't you
just beat it?
81
00:03:24,731 --> 00:03:26,265
All right,
all right, relax.
82
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:28,400
I'll-I'll just, I'll be
this guy over here.
83
00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:30,469
That's He-Man.
We're playing Transformers.
84
00:03:30,537 --> 00:03:32,905
Well, maybe this is the one
where He-Man visits.
85
00:03:32,972 --> 00:03:35,324
Brian, how is He-Man
supposed to get to Cybertron?
86
00:03:35,391 --> 00:03:36,658
Hey, "Up, up,
and away," right?
87
00:03:36,726 --> 00:03:37,926
He-Man doesn't fly.
88
00:03:37,994 --> 00:03:39,928
Look, why are you being
such a dick about this?
89
00:03:39,996 --> 00:03:41,363
I'm just trying
to join in.
90
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,265
Yeah, you don't know what
you're talking about, okay?
91
00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,449
You sound like...
That's not fair.
92
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:45,834
I think I'm doing
pretty well.
93
00:03:45,902 --> 00:03:47,352
No, you don't know
the characters, Brian.
94
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,520
You don't know
the characters.
95
00:03:48,588 --> 00:03:49,922
If you could hear
yourself right now,
96
00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:51,089
you would not stop
throwing up.
97
00:03:51,157 --> 00:03:52,357
You can't just put He-Man
98
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:53,525
in Transformers'
world, all right?
99
00:03:53,593 --> 00:03:55,794
He wouldn't be able
to get to Cybertron
100
00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:58,664
because he lives in Eternia,
and Eternia is in
101
00:03:58,731 --> 00:03:59,932
an entirely
different dimension.
102
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,867
He can just take
his rocket ship.
103
00:04:01,935 --> 00:04:04,836
Get... get out of here.
104
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:12,060
- We now return to The Post
- "Roe vs. Wade"Brady Bunch.
105
00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:14,563
Greg! Marcia! Get down here!
106
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:20,152
Oh, you two are such a handful!
107
00:04:27,493 --> 00:04:29,278
Oh, I'm getting
some steam.
108
00:04:29,345 --> 00:04:30,712
Picking up steam
here, Scotty.
109
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:31,897
You'd better look out.
110
00:04:31,965 --> 00:04:33,465
I don't feel so well.
111
00:04:35,368 --> 00:04:38,670
Uh, kind of bad timing,
but gin.
112
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:42,157
Hey, Lois, that
not-Stewie kid fell over!
113
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,076
Oh, my God,
he's unconscious!
114
00:04:44,143 --> 00:04:45,310
Peter, what happened?!
115
00:04:45,378 --> 00:04:47,212
Eh, you know me, Lois,
I don't pry.
116
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,914
Peter, he's not moving!
117
00:04:48,982 --> 00:04:50,616
We gotta get him
to the hospital!
118
00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:52,618
You got it, Lois!
To the Peter-rang!
119
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:04,296
Just for the record,
120
00:05:04,364 --> 00:05:06,231
I was at the hospital
for a brief moment.
121
00:05:09,502 --> 00:05:11,003
Mrs. Griffin,
it's a good thing
122
00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:12,337
you brought this child in.
123
00:05:12,405 --> 00:05:13,705
Why? Is he okay?
124
00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:15,007
I'm afraid
he's very sick.
125
00:05:15,074 --> 00:05:17,442
In fact, his lab-work
shows he is suffering
126
00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:19,044
from Hodgkin's lymphoma.
127
00:05:19,112 --> 00:05:21,146
Oh, my God!
128
00:05:21,214 --> 00:05:22,814
Are you saying
Scotty has cancer?!
129
00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:24,850
I don't know, I didn't
read the whole Wikipedia entry,
130
00:05:24,917 --> 00:05:27,653
but the good news is that what
he has is highly treatable
131
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,854
with radiation first,
132
00:05:28,921 --> 00:05:30,555
and if necessary,
chemotherapy.
133
00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:36,428
Oh, for God's sake.
134
00:05:36,496 --> 00:05:37,996
Look, do you have
any idea
135
00:05:38,064 --> 00:05:39,398
how expensive
medical school is?
136
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,699
No, I don't.
137
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:42,701
Well, it's probably
pretty expensive.
138
00:05:42,769 --> 00:05:44,987
Lois! We came as soon
as we got your call.
139
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,622
Oh, Hope, Ben,
140
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:49,224
I'm so sorry to have
to tell you this,
141
00:05:49,292 --> 00:05:50,926
but Scotty has...
142
00:05:50,994 --> 00:05:52,294
Cancer. We know.
143
00:05:52,362 --> 00:05:53,328
You do?
144
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,796
Yes, we're aware
of his condition.
145
00:05:54,864 --> 00:05:56,932
But you shouldn't have
brought him to the hospital
146
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,533
without talking to us first.
147
00:05:58,601 --> 00:06:00,736
Why wouldn't we bring him?
He was unconscious.
148
00:06:00,803 --> 00:06:02,504
He clearly
needed treatment.
149
00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:04,906
Oh, no, he doesn't
receive treatment.
150
00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:05,841
What?!
151
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,010
We're Christian Scientists.
152
00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:09,745
We don't accept medical care
for ourselves,
153
00:06:09,812 --> 00:06:11,513
and we don't permit it
for our children.
154
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:12,814
But your son
has cancer!
155
00:06:12,882 --> 00:06:14,266
Wait a minute.
Christian Science.
156
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:15,801
Is that, is that
that thing
157
00:06:15,868 --> 00:06:17,269
all them gaybo
Hollywood actors do
158
00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:19,821
to keep their stuff away
from other guys' butts?
159
00:06:19,889 --> 00:06:21,957
Don't you understand?
Scotty needs help.
160
00:06:22,025 --> 00:06:23,759
And he'll get it...
through faith.
161
00:06:23,826 --> 00:06:24,926
That's right.
162
00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:27,262
We will heal him
with the power of prayer.
163
00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:31,316
Y-You can't just let them
just walk out of here!
164
00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:32,851
Oh, I think
they'll be back.
165
00:06:32,919 --> 00:06:34,853
Are those their keys?
No, they're my keys.
166
00:06:39,435 --> 00:06:41,036
And they said because
of their faith,
167
00:06:41,053 --> 00:06:42,553
they don't believe
in medicine.
168
00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:45,056
Mom, I think there's a lot
of religions that do that.
169
00:06:45,124 --> 00:06:47,892
Well, that may be, Meg, but that
poor little baby has cancer,
170
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,161
and they're just gonna take him
home and pray over him?!
171
00:06:50,229 --> 00:06:51,529
Well, that's what they do.
172
00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:53,231
They believe that disease
is just an illusion.
173
00:06:53,299 --> 00:06:56,067
And the only way to fight it
is to make your faith stronger.
174
00:06:56,135 --> 00:06:58,636
Illusions?! You want to
talk about illusions?!
175
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:00,838
If you die tomorrow,
176
00:07:00,906 --> 00:07:03,024
you think we're gonna be devastated!
But you know what?!
177
00:07:03,092 --> 00:07:05,259
We're just gonna go out
and buy another dog!
178
00:07:05,327 --> 00:07:07,195
And maybe this dog
will fetch a stick
179
00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,330
and bring me my slippers
instead of prattling on
180
00:07:09,398 --> 00:07:11,366
about the pros and cons
of various religions!
181
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:13,434
Chris, I think you've had
too much sugar cereal.
182
00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:15,603
I think I haven't had enough!
183
00:07:17,072 --> 00:07:19,207
Peter, I have to go talk
to the Jennings
184
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:22,160
and ask them to reconsider
getting treatment for Scotty.
185
00:07:22,227 --> 00:07:23,461
I'm going with
you, Lois.
186
00:07:23,529 --> 00:07:24,729
Yeah, I'll go, too.
187
00:07:24,797 --> 00:07:26,664
All right, but try
to keep your mouth shut, okay?
188
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,199
You have a habit
of saying the wrong thing.
189
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:31,536
During his 22-year reign,
190
00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:34,639
this French monarch known
as "The Spider King" had
191
00:07:34,707 --> 00:07:37,942
an ongoing feud with Charles
the Bold, Duke of Burgundy.
192
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:38,843
Peter?
193
00:07:38,911 --> 00:07:40,545
Who was King Louis XII?
194
00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:44,482
Ooh, I'm sorry, Peter, we were
looking for King Louis XI.
195
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:46,851
Ah, damn it, I knew that!
196
00:07:46,919 --> 00:07:48,619
Ah, well, me
in the
197
00:07:48,687 --> 00:07:50,355
with a big,
black.
198
00:07:50,422 --> 00:07:52,457
King Louis XI.
199
00:07:52,524 --> 00:07:53,691
Tim, select.
200
00:07:58,864 --> 00:08:01,666
Oh, Lois, Peter,
come on in.
201
00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:03,835
We were just praying
for Scotty's recovery.
202
00:08:03,902 --> 00:08:05,603
If you'd like,
you can join us.
203
00:08:05,671 --> 00:08:07,789
Well, that's what we wanted
to talk to you about.
204
00:08:07,873 --> 00:08:09,907
You'd better not just have
church toys.
205
00:08:09,975 --> 00:08:12,693
Look, I don't mean to question
your religious beliefs,
206
00:08:12,761 --> 00:08:14,762
but as a mother,
I just can't bear the thought
207
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:17,432
of little Scotty
not getting the help he needs.
208
00:08:17,499 --> 00:08:19,133
You really needn't worry, Lois.
209
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:20,768
Scotty will get all
the help he needs.
210
00:08:20,836 --> 00:08:21,803
From where?
211
00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,421
From here.
212
00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:25,490
Science and Health with Key
to the Scriptures
213
00:08:25,557 --> 00:08:27,325
by Mary Baker Eddy?
214
00:08:27,393 --> 00:08:28,459
Let me see that.
215
00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:33,398
This is your god?! A woman?!
216
00:08:33,465 --> 00:08:35,433
Well, she's the founder
of our faith.
217
00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:38,102
Oh, really? So with this book
from the 1800s,
218
00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:41,139
you can pray away paralysis
or terminal illness?
219
00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:43,307
Yes, we would pray for
anyone who's afflicted.
220
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:45,910
Well, then I'll tell you who you
should really be praying for.
221
00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:46,944
Out-of-work clowns.
222
00:08:57,556 --> 00:08:59,157
I need 40.
223
00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:05,963
Ben, Hope, please,
224
00:09:06,031 --> 00:09:08,900
I just want to do anything
I can to help your son.
225
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,335
Well, you can, Lois.
Stay and pray with us.
226
00:09:11,403 --> 00:09:13,171
I think you'll find
that with God's love
227
00:09:13,238 --> 00:09:14,705
and a true belief,
228
00:09:14,773 --> 00:09:16,741
all manner of miracles
are possible.
229
00:09:16,809 --> 00:09:18,876
Look, I'm a churchgoer, too,
230
00:09:18,944 --> 00:09:21,379
but sometimes prayer
isn't enough.
231
00:09:21,447 --> 00:09:22,814
He needs professional
medical care.
232
00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:24,782
You know, Lois, this couch
would be perfect
233
00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:26,818
for one of your red wine
pass-outs.
234
00:09:26,885 --> 00:09:28,519
Look, we appreciate
your concern, Lois,
235
00:09:28,587 --> 00:09:29,921
but Scotty is our son,
236
00:09:29,988 --> 00:09:32,457
and we have to tend
to him as we see fit.
237
00:09:32,524 --> 00:09:35,460
But your son is sick!
He needs help!
238
00:09:35,527 --> 00:09:37,462
Um, does your god also not
believe in
239
00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:38,779
putting out snacks
for the guests?
240
00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:40,047
Come on, Lois.
241
00:09:40,115 --> 00:09:41,432
I think we're wasting
our time here.
242
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,551
They're obviously very committed
to their beliefs.
243
00:09:43,635 --> 00:09:45,336
But their beliefs
are crazy, Brian.
244
00:09:45,404 --> 00:09:47,338
I don't know
who's crazier--
245
00:09:47,406 --> 00:09:49,357
these people or those
Seventh-Day Adventists.
246
00:09:49,424 --> 00:09:50,491
I'm a Methodist.
247
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,260
We believe that
the Lord is our Savior,
248
00:09:52,327 --> 00:09:54,729
and we remember Him
by going to church
249
00:09:54,796 --> 00:09:56,230
and praising Him
every Sunday.
250
00:09:56,298 --> 00:09:57,565
I'm a Seventh-Day
Adventist.
251
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:59,667
We believe all the same
things that you believe,
252
00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:01,235
but we go to church
on Saturdays.
253
00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:03,237
What...?!
254
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:06,491
Ga-ga-ga-ga-gahh!
255
00:10:06,542 --> 00:10:07,542
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
256
00:10:07,626 --> 00:10:09,560
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
257
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:14,048
I know it's
frustrating, Lois,
258
00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:16,184
but the fact is,
there are no laws that say
259
00:10:16,251 --> 00:10:18,619
those people have to take
their child to the doctor.
260
00:10:18,687 --> 00:10:20,121
How can that be?
261
00:10:20,189 --> 00:10:22,757
Children are citizens, too.
They should have rights.
262
00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:25,159
Well, it's
a tricky area, Lois.
263
00:10:25,227 --> 00:10:27,562
You could file a suit,
but that could take months,
264
00:10:27,629 --> 00:10:29,197
and even then,
there's no guarantee
265
00:10:29,264 --> 00:10:30,898
the court wouldn't support
the parents' right
266
00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:32,266
to practice their religion.
267
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:34,402
How could we live in
a country that would allow
268
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:35,937
a sick child to die?
269
00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:38,623
Look, this country was founded
by people who came here
270
00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:40,157
to escape
religious persecution.
271
00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:42,593
They made sure we all had
a right to religious freedom,
272
00:10:42,661 --> 00:10:44,695
and it's my job
to protect that.
273
00:10:44,763 --> 00:10:46,364
So there's nothing
we can do?
274
00:10:46,431 --> 00:10:50,134
You could contribute
to the Policeman's Ball.
275
00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:51,184
What?!
276
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:53,189
What does that have
to do with a sick child?
277
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,739
Look, it's
a nice night out,
278
00:10:54,806 --> 00:10:56,173
you're eating
at a fancy buffet,
279
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,042
the captain does
his Al Pacino...
280
00:10:58,110 --> 00:11:00,411
Joe, we're really more
of a Fireman's Ball family.
281
00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:03,247
Oh, yeah? Are the firemen gonna
come and put out the rape?!
282
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:06,534
Peter, we can't
let this happen.
283
00:11:06,602 --> 00:11:08,135
I-I mean, we're parents.
284
00:11:08,203 --> 00:11:10,004
What if this was
one of our kids?
285
00:11:10,072 --> 00:11:11,556
It's too bad we're
not the A-Team.
286
00:11:11,623 --> 00:11:13,724
'Cause then we could just go
in there and steal that kid.
287
00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:15,459
I don't know
about that, Peter.
288
00:11:15,527 --> 00:11:17,011
Kidnapping is
against the law.
289
00:11:17,079 --> 00:11:18,846
It's too bad we're
not Taken from Taken.
290
00:11:18,914 --> 00:11:20,915
Then I could dip my
head in brown paint
291
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:23,050
and galumph around Europe
looking for my hot daughter.
292
00:11:23,118 --> 00:11:25,069
Although is it any worse
than what they're doing?
293
00:11:25,137 --> 00:11:26,704
They're letting a kid die.
294
00:11:26,772 --> 00:11:28,005
It's too bad we're
not Dragonheart.
295
00:11:28,073 --> 00:11:29,773
Then we could just fly
around on a dragon
296
00:11:29,825 --> 00:11:30,725
and forget
about all this.
297
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:31,926
You know what?
298
00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:33,427
That's exactly
what we should do.
299
00:11:33,495 --> 00:11:35,529
What? What the hell are
you talking about?
300
00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,398
I'm talking about
us going in there
301
00:11:37,466 --> 00:11:39,500
and taking that kid
and getting him some help.
302
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,035
I mean, I know it's wrong,
303
00:11:41,103 --> 00:11:42,687
but it's better than
just letting him die.
304
00:11:42,754 --> 00:11:44,121
Hey, that's not
a bad idea.
305
00:11:44,189 --> 00:11:45,723
It's like we're doing
a public service.
306
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:48,092
Like those idiots who get
together to paint a school.
307
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,795
This underachieving,
crime-ridden school
308
00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:52,697
is now fawn beige,
309
00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:55,650
thanks to guilty white people
with no weekend plans!
310
00:11:55,717 --> 00:11:57,551
Yay!
311
00:12:01,757 --> 00:12:03,407
Peter, what the hell?
312
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:04,742
Where's your ski mask?
313
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,377
It's kind of hard to
breathe in those things,
314
00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:07,745
so I just dressed up
like Harry Potter.
315
00:12:08,814 --> 00:12:09,981
All right, let's go.
316
00:12:10,048 --> 00:12:11,983
Lois, if anything
should happen to us,
317
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:15,219
I want you to know, I haven't
been happy for a long time.
318
00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:17,888
Yes, Peter, you've
told me that, like, ten times.
319
00:12:22,361 --> 00:12:24,061
All right,
all the lights are out.
320
00:12:24,129 --> 00:12:25,129
They must be asleep.
321
00:12:25,197 --> 00:12:27,298
It's go time.
322
00:12:30,319 --> 00:12:31,752
Peter, what the
hell was that?
323
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,120
That's what you do, Lois.
324
00:12:33,188 --> 00:12:34,639
Okay, now,
take this walkie-talkie
325
00:12:34,706 --> 00:12:36,607
and confirm that I'm at
the various checkpoints.
326
00:12:36,675 --> 00:12:38,409
Oh. Okay.
327
00:12:38,477 --> 00:12:41,045
"Peter up on a telephone pole"?
328
00:12:41,113 --> 00:12:42,213
Check.
329
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,582
"Peter cutting the wires
to the alarm"?
330
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:45,516
Check.
331
00:12:45,584 --> 00:12:46,851
"Sexy Peter
332
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,419
distracting the guards"?
333
00:12:48,487 --> 00:12:49,954
Check.
334
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:51,889
Hello, boys.
335
00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:54,208
Come up and have sex
with me some time.
336
00:12:54,292 --> 00:12:57,011
"Van full of Peters
who all have stern faces
337
00:12:57,079 --> 00:12:58,946
because they're about
to pull off a heist"?
338
00:12:59,014 --> 00:13:00,581
Check.
339
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:03,768
"Upside-down Peter who isn't
revealed to be upside-down
340
00:13:03,835 --> 00:13:06,270
until the camera spins around
and shows that he is"?
341
00:13:07,439 --> 00:13:08,856
Check.
342
00:13:08,924 --> 00:13:11,258
"Peter in an open airplane door
343
00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:14,228
slapping other Peters on the
back as they parachute out"?
344
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,714
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
345
00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:17,715
Check!
346
00:13:17,783 --> 00:13:19,817
"Super gymnastic Asian Peter
347
00:13:19,885 --> 00:13:22,653
contorted into a box that will
be delivered into the house"?
348
00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:25,189
Hai!
349
00:13:25,257 --> 00:13:26,824
"Peter who hasn't answered
350
00:13:26,892 --> 00:13:28,893
because something has gone
terribly wrong"?
351
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,628
Peter? Peter, are you there?
352
00:13:33,215 --> 00:13:35,483
Now, let's go get that kid.
353
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:37,585
Okay, he's in the
left upstairs bedroom.
354
00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:39,954
All right, you keep the car
going in case there's trouble.
355
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:46,977
All right,
I got him, Lois.
356
00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:48,879
Peter, what the--
that's not Scotty!
357
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:50,314
That's Ben!
358
00:13:50,382 --> 00:13:52,817
Oh. Well, you know, we ain't
known this family that long.
359
00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:54,418
I'm still learning
everybody's names.
360
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:56,987
Damn it, put him back and
go get Scotty, the baby!
361
00:13:57,055 --> 00:13:59,724
Okay, so I'll go get the baby,
and while I'm doing that,
362
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:02,426
maybe you do something
about that snatchy tone.
363
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:06,981
Lois, is this the right one?!
364
00:14:07,048 --> 00:14:08,215
Shh! Peter!
365
00:14:08,283 --> 00:14:09,483
Yes. Now, come on.
366
00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:13,554
What was that?
367
00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:14,588
I don't know.
368
00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:15,423
It came from
Scotty's room.
369
00:14:18,994 --> 00:14:20,661
All right, we did it!
370
00:14:20,746 --> 00:14:22,830
Yes! We got the kid
and the treasure.
371
00:14:22,914 --> 00:14:24,048
Peter, there's
no treasure.
372
00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:27,668
Oh, well, never mind, then.
373
00:14:34,079 --> 00:14:35,682
We now return to One-Hour
374
00:14:35,707 --> 00:14:37,215
Crime Show Where the Murderer
375
00:14:37,216 --> 00:14:39,116
is the Most Famous Person
in the Credits.
376
00:14:39,184 --> 00:14:40,818
I think you're gonna want
to take a look at this.
377
00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:42,086
What do we got?
378
00:14:42,154 --> 00:14:43,654
Looks like somebody
had a rough night out.
379
00:14:43,722 --> 00:14:45,072
Boy, you can
say that again.
380
00:14:45,123 --> 00:14:46,424
Better get the
coroner down here.
381
00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:48,159
He's still got his watch
and his wallet.
382
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:49,527
Guess that rules out robbery.
383
00:14:49,595 --> 00:14:51,462
Stabbed 17 times
in the chest;
384
00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:54,115
I'd say the murderer knew
the victim intimately.
385
00:14:57,352 --> 00:14:59,754
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker
with some breaking news.
386
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:02,223
A local kidnapping
has rocked Quahog tonight.
387
00:15:02,291 --> 00:15:03,958
"Rocked Quahog"? Really?
388
00:15:04,026 --> 00:15:05,326
The whole town is r--
389
00:15:05,394 --> 00:15:06,661
The family maybe... is rocked.
390
00:15:06,728 --> 00:15:08,629
But the whole--
All right, well, in any event,
391
00:15:08,697 --> 00:15:11,365
we now go live to Asian reporter
Tricia Takanawa.
392
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:13,634
Let's see how much
she's "rocked" by all this.
393
00:15:13,702 --> 00:15:14,869
Tricia?
394
00:15:14,937 --> 00:15:18,105
Tom, I'm standing here
with Mayor Adam West,
395
00:15:18,173 --> 00:15:20,374
with the latest information
about the disappearance
396
00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:22,209
of young Scotty Jennings.
397
00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,145
What can you tell us,
Mr. Mayor?
398
00:15:24,212 --> 00:15:26,547
Please, Mr. Mayor
is my father.
399
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:28,182
Call me John Mayor.
400
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,685
Your body is a
wonderland, by the way.
401
00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:34,455
What is the city doing
to help rescue the missing boy?
402
00:15:34,523 --> 00:15:36,290
Well, we're looking
for this child
403
00:15:36,358 --> 00:15:39,860
using all the latest technology,
including the newest,
404
00:15:39,928 --> 00:15:42,396
most advanced
multimedia milk cartons.
405
00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:43,831
Help me!
I'm missing!
406
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,066
Help!
407
00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:46,701
Why are you still
eating breakfast?!
408
00:15:46,768 --> 00:15:47,902
I'm kidnapped!
409
00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:49,737
Why are you turning me
the other way?!
410
00:15:49,805 --> 00:15:51,172
I'm still here!
411
00:15:51,239 --> 00:15:52,607
Scotty Jennings?
412
00:15:52,674 --> 00:15:54,191
Oh, my God!
413
00:15:54,259 --> 00:15:56,027
I know she was upset,
but do you think
414
00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:57,945
Lois would've gone
so far as to kidnap him?
415
00:15:58,013 --> 00:15:59,080
Of course she did.
416
00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:00,181
She'll do anything
for attention.
417
00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:01,382
I know.
418
00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:02,817
She's like the boy
who cried wolf.
419
00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:05,736
Wolf, wolf!
420
00:16:05,821 --> 00:16:07,104
Did you hear that?
421
00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:08,990
Somebody needs help!
Let's go!
422
00:16:12,344 --> 00:16:14,045
Oh, my God, Charles!
423
00:16:14,112 --> 00:16:15,913
Oh, my God,
I'll run and get help.
424
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:17,448
No, no, we've got
to carry him!
425
00:16:17,516 --> 00:16:19,583
We can't leave him
here; there's a wolf!
426
00:16:19,651 --> 00:16:22,253
Um, there's not
really a wolf.
427
00:16:22,321 --> 00:16:23,387
What?!
428
00:16:23,455 --> 00:16:26,123
Tell my kids I love 'em.
429
00:16:26,191 --> 00:16:29,327
Charlie! Charlie!
430
00:16:29,394 --> 00:16:32,196
This was so funny in my head
when I planned it.
431
00:16:34,883 --> 00:16:36,216
Don't you worry, Scotty.
432
00:16:36,268 --> 00:16:37,935
We're gonna get you
to the hospital
433
00:16:38,003 --> 00:16:39,720
and get you the medical
attention you need.
434
00:16:39,771 --> 00:16:41,022
Yeah, hang in
there, buddy.
435
00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:43,024
When this is over, we
can get some ice cream.
436
00:16:43,075 --> 00:16:45,159
Me and Lois can get
some ice cream, not you.
437
00:16:45,226 --> 00:16:46,911
They're gonna be sticking
needles in you everywhere.
438
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:48,228
You know, Peter,
you were right,
439
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,914
this is actually
kind of a rush.
440
00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:52,333
I mean, look at us,
we're like Thelma and Louise.
441
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,752
Yeah, but we all know that
didn't end well for them.
442
00:16:56,088 --> 00:16:57,421
You know what?
443
00:16:57,506 --> 00:16:59,874
Let's just turn ourselves in.
444
00:16:59,925 --> 00:17:01,625
I got a great lawyer.
445
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:04,211
And he says, worst case,
eight to 12 years.
446
00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:05,930
And when we get out,
we'll still have
447
00:17:06,014 --> 00:17:07,598
the rest of our
lives ahead of us.
448
00:17:17,159 --> 00:17:18,926
Good-bye, terrible women.
449
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:26,984
Oh, my God!
450
00:17:29,121 --> 00:17:31,072
This is Tricia Takanawa.
451
00:17:31,139 --> 00:17:33,874
I am standing outside
Quahog Hospital,
452
00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:36,477
where accused kidnappers
Lois and Peter Griffin
453
00:17:36,545 --> 00:17:37,945
have just arrived.
454
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,881
Also arriving is
my overprotective boyfriend,
455
00:17:40,949 --> 00:17:44,218
who is suspicious whenever I am
called into work at night,
456
00:17:44,286 --> 00:17:47,354
even though I've been a
reporter for years, Tyrone.
457
00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:49,857
I thought I told you
to mention my painting business.
458
00:17:52,794 --> 00:17:55,129
Lois, Peter, stop right there.
459
00:17:55,197 --> 00:17:56,497
You're under arrest
for kidnapping.
460
00:17:56,565 --> 00:17:58,132
I'm gonna have to ask you
461
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,800
to hand over the baby
and surrender.
462
00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:02,002
Joe, please get out of our way.
463
00:18:02,070 --> 00:18:04,739
I promise, when this is over,
I'll gladly go to prison
464
00:18:04,806 --> 00:18:07,241
for the rest of my life,
but not until I bring
465
00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:09,310
this defenseless child
into the hospital
466
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:11,212
to get him the treatment
he deserves.
467
00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:13,914
Uh, Joe, we would
like two tickets
468
00:18:13,982 --> 00:18:15,015
to the
Policeman's Ball.
469
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:15,983
Too late!
470
00:18:17,035 --> 00:18:18,119
There they are!
471
00:18:18,186 --> 00:18:20,521
Lois, please!
472
00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:23,090
Stop what you're doing and
give Scotty back to us!
473
00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:24,625
I can't do that, Hope.
474
00:18:24,693 --> 00:18:27,194
But we've entrusted our
son into the Lord's hands.
475
00:18:27,262 --> 00:18:28,562
I know.
476
00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:30,765
And maybe that's why
he ended up in my hands.
477
00:18:30,832 --> 00:18:33,334
The Lord can't do everything,
you know.
478
00:18:33,401 --> 00:18:34,635
Blasphemy!
Heresy!
479
00:18:34,703 --> 00:18:36,036
Sodomy!
480
00:18:36,104 --> 00:18:37,404
Sorry, I don't even
know what's going on.
481
00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:38,422
How you doin'?
482
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:39,824
Ben, Hope,
483
00:18:39,891 --> 00:18:41,859
I know you don't believe
in modern medicine,
484
00:18:41,927 --> 00:18:44,195
but you do believe
in the power of prayer.
485
00:18:44,262 --> 00:18:45,095
That's right.
486
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:46,464
And through the years,
487
00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:48,332
when there was disease
or infection,
488
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,135
people of good faith
would pray to God for a cure.
489
00:18:51,203 --> 00:18:52,736
Yes. It's what we do.
490
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:56,073
Well, then isn't it possible
that penicillin, vaccines
491
00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:59,310
and antibiotics are all
actually answered prayers?
492
00:19:00,812 --> 00:19:02,379
And isn't it possible that
493
00:19:02,447 --> 00:19:04,165
the amazing men and women
of medicine
494
00:19:04,232 --> 00:19:05,983
who brought about these miracles
495
00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:09,286
could be the instruments
of God's answers to our prayers?
496
00:19:09,354 --> 00:19:10,504
It's good so far, Lois.
497
00:19:10,555 --> 00:19:12,473
Try to work a few laughs
in there if you can.
498
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,275
Look, I believe
life is sacred.
499
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:16,677
And I know you want Scotty
to live a full life.
500
00:19:17,946 --> 00:19:19,346
And if that's
true, then I think
501
00:19:19,414 --> 00:19:20,681
it's wrong for
you to ignore
502
00:19:20,749 --> 00:19:22,817
what very well could
be the Lord's will.
503
00:19:22,884 --> 00:19:24,985
I mean, what's the
point in praying to God
504
00:19:25,053 --> 00:19:27,321
if you're just going to wipe
your butt with his answers?
505
00:19:28,974 --> 00:19:31,492
Hope, Ben,
506
00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:33,894
please let God
answer your prayers.
507
00:19:33,945 --> 00:19:35,796
Please let your son get help.
508
00:19:37,299 --> 00:19:39,466
Well, I guess through
the Lord's will,
509
00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:42,203
anything is possible.
510
00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:43,470
All right, Lois.
511
00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:45,072
Scotty can have
his treatment.
512
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,740
Oh, thank you!
513
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:49,393
Thank you,
and God bless you both!
514
00:19:49,461 --> 00:19:50,644
Hey, everybody!
515
00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:52,246
We're all gonna get laid!
516
00:19:59,754 --> 00:20:02,656
We now return to
Dracula in San Francisco.
517
00:20:15,704 --> 00:20:16,937
Ooh.
518
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:19,440
Well, that's why
we have the lab.
519
00:20:19,507 --> 00:20:21,458
Well, I just got off
the phone with Hope,
520
00:20:21,543 --> 00:20:24,061
and it sounds like Scotty's
gonna make a full recovery.
521
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:25,529
You hear that, Stewie?
522
00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:27,131
Looks like your little
friend's gonna be okay.
523
00:20:27,198 --> 00:20:28,566
Eh, I don't care about him.
524
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:30,234
I've got a new friend
who's got leprosy.
525
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:33,237
See, he's funny.
526
00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:35,306
Peter, are you actually reading
that Christian Science book?
527
00:20:35,373 --> 00:20:37,474
Yeah, you know, I figured
I'd give it a shot.
528
00:20:37,542 --> 00:20:39,443
I mean, wouldn't it
be cool if you could
529
00:20:39,511 --> 00:20:42,162
pray really hard for something,
and it actually happened?
530
00:20:44,766 --> 00:20:47,067
I am so happy for me.
531
00:20:47,135 --> 00:20:48,602
I deserve this.
532
00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:50,154
When do you think
the Queen's gonna die?
533
00:20:51,269 --> 00:20:55,269
== sync, corrected by elderman ==