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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,298 --> 00:00:08,617
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,668 --> 00:00:12,087
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:12,155 --> 00:00:15,057
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:32,585
♪ Family Guy 10x19 ♪
Mr. & Mrs. Stewie
Original Air Date on April 29, 2012
11
00:00:32,587 --> 00:00:36,587
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:37,059 --> 00:00:39,310
Come on, Stewie. Hurry up.
I want to get good seats.
13
00:00:39,394 --> 00:00:42,129
Ugh, I hate going to hear
authors read from their work.
14
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That Dr. Seuss reading
was dreadful.
15
00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:46,500
And when the drugs
stopped numbing the pain,
16
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,502
the sex became
even more violent.
17
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:49,670
It doesn't rhyme.
18
00:00:49,738 --> 00:00:51,539
The new stuff
doesn't rhyme!
19
00:00:52,741 --> 00:00:54,475
Hey, there.
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00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:56,611
You a big fan
of Jonathan Franzen?
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00:00:56,678 --> 00:00:58,829
Oh, my God,
I worship him.
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00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:00,464
Yeah, yeah, of all
my writing students,
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00:01:00,532 --> 00:01:01,999
he's probably
done the best.
24
00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,367
I'm sorry,
everybody.
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00:01:03,435 --> 00:01:06,103
Mr. Franzen has informed us
he's not coming.
26
00:01:06,171 --> 00:01:09,407
Like most real authors, he's
too good for this dumb town.
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00:01:10,576 --> 00:01:12,176
I hate it here.
28
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Well, this crowd
was promised an author.
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No!
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Oh, well, you know, I guess
I should be getting back
31
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,350
to my dorm anyway.
32
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:20,484
I've got a short story due
33
00:01:20,552 --> 00:01:22,136
for my creative writing
class tomorrow.
34
00:01:22,204 --> 00:01:23,738
Oh, creative
writing, huh?
35
00:01:23,805 --> 00:01:25,973
Well, if you'd like me to look
it over before you turn it in,
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00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,525
I'd be happy to.
Really?
37
00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:29,009
That'd be great.
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00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:30,645
Cool, cool,
I'll follow you in my car.
39
00:01:30,712 --> 00:01:31,679
Come on. We're going.
40
00:01:31,747 --> 00:01:33,281
All right,
hold on.
41
00:01:33,348 --> 00:01:35,516
Is this what your parents are
paying all that tuition for--
44
00:01:47,546 --> 00:01:48,713
Okay, I'm gonna go
in there with her.
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00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:50,364
You just sit out here
and be quiet.
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00:01:50,415 --> 00:01:52,166
Here, watch one of her
movies or something.
47
00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:56,153
Ugh, Charlie St. Cloud?
48
00:01:56,221 --> 00:01:58,089
A-And why are there
so many fingerprints on this?
49
00:01:58,156 --> 00:02:02,226
Who's handling their Charlie
St. Cloud DVD all the time?
50
00:02:10,786 --> 00:02:14,956
Lois, can I have
a Pop-Tart in bed, please?
51
00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:16,691
Lois?
52
00:02:16,758 --> 00:02:17,725
Hey, Chris?
53
00:02:17,793 --> 00:02:19,260
Yeah?
54
00:02:19,328 --> 00:02:21,946
Do you think Lois would be okay
if I ate a Pop-Tart in bed?
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00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:22,980
Probably.
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00:02:23,048 --> 00:02:24,148
Probably, right?
57
00:02:24,216 --> 00:02:26,334
Lois, you in the bathroom?
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00:02:32,824 --> 00:02:35,059
Well, Mrs. Griffin,
you have three crushed ribs,
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00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:36,978
but I was able to stop
the internal bleeding.
60
00:02:37,045 --> 00:02:39,814
Doctor, this has happened
seven times in the last month.
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00:02:39,881 --> 00:02:42,583
Peter rolls over in his sleep
and almost kills me.
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00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:43,851
I see.
63
00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:44,885
Well, that sucks.
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00:02:44,953 --> 00:02:46,387
Look, I don't do it
on purpose.
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00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:48,255
Well, it looks like you got
a handle on it then.
66
00:02:48,323 --> 00:02:49,473
No, we don't.
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00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:51,342
He practically
smothers me every night.
68
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:52,743
Well, are you hogging
the blankets?
69
00:02:52,811 --> 00:02:53,944
No.
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00:02:54,012 --> 00:02:55,696
"Probably hogging
blankets."
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00:02:55,764 --> 00:02:58,149
And if he's not smothering me,
he's keeping me up all night
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00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,885
writing with that
giant plume of his.
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00:03:00,952 --> 00:03:04,605
"Dearest Augustine,
I do hope this latest damp
74
00:03:04,656 --> 00:03:06,123
has not aggravated
your gray lung."
75
00:03:06,191 --> 00:03:07,758
Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
76
00:03:07,826 --> 00:03:10,077
"Matters stateside
have taken a tragic turn
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00:03:10,128 --> 00:03:12,129
"as this year's gourd crop
has fallen prey
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00:03:12,214 --> 00:03:14,048
"to a rather
unexpected infestation
79
00:03:14,115 --> 00:03:15,416
of saltmarsh cutworms."
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00:03:15,484 --> 00:03:16,600
Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
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00:03:16,668 --> 00:03:18,219
Peter, it's 4:00
in the morning.
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00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:19,720
Come to bed!
83
00:03:19,788 --> 00:03:22,490
"Marital concerns continue
to bedevil me."
84
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:27,445
Look, I'm sorry.
85
00:03:27,512 --> 00:03:30,047
I wasn't planning on
spending all night there.
86
00:03:30,115 --> 00:03:32,650
Look, how about if I take
you to the park, huh?
87
00:03:32,718 --> 00:03:35,486
Come on. You like
the park, right?
88
00:03:35,554 --> 00:03:37,805
We're about to
pass the turnoff.
89
00:03:37,873 --> 00:03:40,741
Here it comes.
90
00:03:40,809 --> 00:03:42,727
You may take me
to the park.
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00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:49,934
Um, excuse me. I didn't
bring any of my toys.
92
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,302
Can I play with
some of yours?
93
00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,220
No! Mine!
94
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,108
Are you all right?
95
00:03:57,175 --> 00:03:58,409
I'm fine.
96
00:03:58,477 --> 00:04:00,828
I-I didn't push him back
because he has leukemia.
97
00:04:00,896 --> 00:04:01,896
My name's Penelope.
98
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:02,863
What's yours?
99
00:04:02,931 --> 00:04:03,998
Stewie.
100
00:04:04,066 --> 00:04:05,766
I've never seen you
around here before.
101
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:08,102
I'm new to town and I
don't have many friends.
102
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,503
All right.
103
00:04:09,571 --> 00:04:12,139
A lot of pressure on me
instantly, but okay.
104
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:14,375
Would you like to play with
some of my toys, Stewie?
105
00:04:14,443 --> 00:04:15,559
Well, what have you got?
106
00:04:15,644 --> 00:04:17,361
I have a set of jacks,
a paddleball,
107
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:19,230
and this taffy
with superglue.
108
00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:21,365
Isn't that the little
boy who pushed you?
109
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:22,883
Hmm, yes.
110
00:04:22,951 --> 00:04:26,620
You there, would you like
a piece of candy?
111
00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:39,750
Don't push.
112
00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:47,007
Uh, Lois, why do we have
Lucy and Ricky beds?
113
00:04:47,058 --> 00:04:49,910
Because I'm sick of you crushing
me in the middle of the night.
114
00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:51,612
Dr. Hartman called
about my X rays.
115
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,981
He said my spine
is now disfigured.
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00:04:54,049 --> 00:04:56,383
Lois, if God wanted me
to not sleep with my wife,
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00:04:56,451 --> 00:04:57,985
he would have made me
John Travolta.
118
00:04:58,053 --> 00:04:59,386
Peter, I'm really
tired, okay?
119
00:04:59,454 --> 00:05:01,288
Just give the bed a try.
120
00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:07,878
There you go.
121
00:05:07,946 --> 00:05:09,463
Good night, Peter.
122
00:05:09,531 --> 00:05:11,599
I can't sleep like this, Lois.
123
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:13,334
I need someone to cuddle with.
124
00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,236
Believe it or not,
men like to cuddle,
125
00:05:15,303 --> 00:05:18,105
even cold, unfeeling men
like Charles Bronson.
126
00:05:18,173 --> 00:05:20,574
Hey, Charles Bronson's wife.
127
00:05:20,642 --> 00:05:23,511
Scooch over.
I want to cuddle.
128
00:05:23,578 --> 00:05:25,679
Mmm, that's nice.
129
00:05:30,952 --> 00:05:32,119
I don't know
what the big deal is.
130
00:05:32,187 --> 00:05:34,588
I stopped for one drink
after work.
131
00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:36,390
Yes, but it's
every night.
132
00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:39,476
There, now you can be
upset about that.
133
00:05:39,544 --> 00:05:40,544
This is fun.
134
00:05:40,612 --> 00:05:42,179
I like playing
with you, Penelope.
135
00:05:42,247 --> 00:05:43,380
What shall
we play next?
136
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,099
Well, let's see
what you have.
137
00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:48,085
You have a pop-up version
of the Unabomber's Manifesto?
138
00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:51,405
Yes, at the end the brother
pops up and turns you in.
139
00:05:56,144 --> 00:05:57,778
What's this
on your Etch A Sketch?
140
00:05:57,846 --> 00:05:59,547
Oh, those are some advanced
mathematical formulas
141
00:05:59,614 --> 00:06:01,215
I've just been
tinkering with.
142
00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,616
You're kidding?
I do that, too.
143
00:06:02,684 --> 00:06:04,885
But what are
these formulas for?
144
00:06:04,953 --> 00:06:06,954
For these.
145
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:15,930
Oh, my God,
146
00:06:15,997 --> 00:06:17,164
you've got a weapons room, too?
147
00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:18,365
And look at the size of it.
148
00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:19,733
It's amazing.
149
00:06:19,801 --> 00:06:21,969
Yes, although sometimes
I think it's too big.
150
00:06:22,037 --> 00:06:24,471
It takes the cleaning woman
forever to clean it.
151
00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,444
Was already broken.
152
00:06:37,752 --> 00:06:39,252
My word, Penelope,
153
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,454
you and I seem to have
quite a lot in common.
154
00:06:41,522 --> 00:06:42,856
Do you actually
use these?
155
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,425
Only when fear, spite, jealousy,
and revenge demand.
156
00:06:45,493 --> 00:06:47,861
I bought that to kill the women
from Sex and the City,
157
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,463
but time seems
to be doing it for me.
158
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,299
You're wicked.
159
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:53,900
Do your parents
have any idea?
160
00:06:53,968 --> 00:06:55,035
My mother's
not a concern.
161
00:06:55,102 --> 00:06:56,219
I don't really have
to worry
162
00:06:56,287 --> 00:06:57,571
about her anymore.
163
00:06:57,638 --> 00:07:00,440
Oh, do you have one of those
white wine zombie moms?
164
00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:01,675
No, she died.
165
00:07:01,742 --> 00:07:02,959
She was taking a tub
166
00:07:03,027 --> 00:07:05,328
and somebody came in
and cut her head off.
167
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:06,763
Wait a moment.
168
00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:09,633
Did... did you kill her?
169
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:13,570
Well, I held the knife...
and her hair.
170
00:07:13,638 --> 00:07:16,973
Oh, my God, I've been dreaming
about doing that for years,
171
00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:19,009
and you've actually gone ahead
and done it.
172
00:07:19,076 --> 00:07:20,727
Penelope...
173
00:07:20,795 --> 00:07:22,495
I've never said this
to anyone before,
174
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:25,999
but I feel like I may have
finally found, in you,
175
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:28,335
my one true soul mate.
176
00:07:28,402 --> 00:07:29,703
Do you feel this way, too?
177
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:31,271
I do, Stewart.
178
00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:33,740
It's as if our meeting were
more than a mere coincidence.
179
00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:36,209
It's as if we were
meant to be together.
180
00:07:36,277 --> 00:07:37,477
Indeed.
181
00:07:37,545 --> 00:07:40,046
This must be how Maverick felt
when he met Goose.
182
00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:41,614
I feel the need.
183
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,800
The need for speed.
The need for speed.
184
00:07:43,884 --> 00:07:45,685
And Scientology.
No, just speed.
185
00:07:49,256 --> 00:07:51,308
So, listen, Quagmire,
there's something
186
00:07:51,392 --> 00:07:53,193
I kind of wanted
to talk to you about.
187
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:56,329
E-Ever since Lois got us
twin beds, I can't fall asleep.
188
00:07:56,397 --> 00:07:58,231
I'm used to having
another person there.
189
00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:00,417
I know. I always sleep better
when I'm next to someone.
190
00:08:00,484 --> 00:08:01,418
Yeah, it's only
natural, right?
191
00:08:01,485 --> 00:08:02,786
I'm glad to hear
you say that
192
00:08:02,853 --> 00:08:05,472
'cause, you know, I guess
what I'm trying to say is,
193
00:08:05,539 --> 00:08:08,441
I... want to propose
an arrangement
194
00:08:08,509 --> 00:08:10,493
that could benefit
the both of us.
195
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:11,795
Okay.
196
00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:14,064
Men need someone to spoon with
and snuggle with
197
00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:18,802
just the same as women, and when
you don't have that, it-it's...
198
00:08:18,869 --> 00:08:20,787
I... well,
what I'm getting at is...
199
00:08:22,123 --> 00:08:26,092
I would like for you
to sleep with me in my bed,
200
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,495
and this, this is not about sex;
it's about sleep.
201
00:08:28,562 --> 00:08:29,779
No, no, I totally
get it, Peter.
202
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:31,114
Snuggling is a
basic human need.
203
00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:33,383
Right, I mean, who says
that the body next to you
204
00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:35,051
has to be male or female
or... whatever?
205
00:08:35,119 --> 00:08:36,086
Or alive.
206
00:08:36,153 --> 00:08:38,154
Yeah... well, no,
but, yeah.
207
00:08:38,222 --> 00:08:39,622
Look, I, I think
it's a great idea
208
00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:40,890
and I, I'm completely with you.
209
00:08:40,958 --> 00:08:42,225
I'm in. Let's try it.
210
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:44,694
Yay, that is
such good news.
211
00:08:44,762 --> 00:08:46,646
And I'm so happy
they gave us a booth.
212
00:08:46,714 --> 00:08:48,014
I know, 'cause they're
supposed to be reserved
213
00:08:48,082 --> 00:08:49,049
for parties of
three or more.
214
00:08:49,116 --> 00:08:50,250
I know!
215
00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:56,156
Oh, Stewie, it's so nice
to finally have someone
216
00:08:56,223 --> 00:08:57,557
to do naughty
things with.
217
00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:58,658
Definitely.
218
00:08:58,726 --> 00:09:00,093
All right, I made
a wallet bomb
219
00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:01,494
and I planted it
on Mort.
220
00:09:01,545 --> 00:09:03,930
As soon
as he opens it-- boom.
221
00:09:13,874 --> 00:09:15,208
Oh, bloody hell.
222
00:09:15,259 --> 00:09:17,727
How do you go two weeks
without opening your wallet?
223
00:09:17,812 --> 00:09:19,763
Yeah, he's been out
to dinner, like, four times.
224
00:09:19,847 --> 00:09:22,015
We're clearly not going
to get him this way.
225
00:09:22,066 --> 00:09:24,734
I know, which is why
I just planted another bomb
226
00:09:24,819 --> 00:09:27,737
that's set to go off every time
he burps into his hand.
227
00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:36,496
Ohh, I'd better make sure
my wallet's okay.
228
00:09:41,886 --> 00:09:43,987
I say, we're
on quite a run.
229
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:45,555
We blew up the
Great Wall of China,
230
00:09:45,623 --> 00:09:47,791
bombed the Eiffel Tower, a
look at this note I sent off.
231
00:09:47,858 --> 00:09:49,959
"Dear Pakistan,
Up yours.
232
00:09:50,027 --> 00:09:51,428
Love, India."
233
00:09:51,495 --> 00:09:52,829
Let's see
what happens.
234
00:09:58,335 --> 00:10:00,170
They did not need much.
235
00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:02,472
All right,
Stewie, your turn.
236
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:05,658
Okay, I have to destroy
Copenhagen with a...
237
00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:08,361
tidal wave,
and the theme is...
238
00:10:08,428 --> 00:10:09,846
the Roaring Twenties.
239
00:10:09,914 --> 00:10:12,482
Tha-That's, that's,
that's a challenge.
240
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,359
Roarin' twenten tidal waven!
241
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:33,253
Peter, what's
going on?
242
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,088
Quagmire's having
a sleepover with me.
243
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,506
You can't
be serious.
244
00:10:36,574 --> 00:10:38,208
Look, Lois, I told you
that I need
245
00:10:38,275 --> 00:10:40,243
to have somebody
sleeping next to me.
246
00:10:40,311 --> 00:10:41,678
All right, now if that's
not going to be you...
247
00:10:41,745 --> 00:10:43,213
Fine. Do what you want.
248
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,431
I don't care,
but I think it's very strange.
249
00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:46,766
Okay, that's the
one thing it's not.
250
00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:48,134
Yeah, it's not strange.
251
00:10:48,202 --> 00:10:51,020
I already told you:
I don't care.
252
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:52,355
It's not strange.
253
00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:53,556
I know.
254
00:10:53,624 --> 00:10:54,691
All right,
let's see here.
255
00:10:54,758 --> 00:10:57,360
Now just, uh, wrap
yourself around me.
256
00:10:57,428 --> 00:10:58,595
Is that okay?
257
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,463
Yeah, actually, you can
hold me even tighter.
258
00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:03,867
Okay, I just need to put
this arm right around here.
259
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:05,518
Yeah, there we go.
260
00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:08,521
Good, now let's just
fall asleep like this.
261
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:11,858
Your boxers are
a little starchy.
262
00:11:11,926 --> 00:11:13,393
Can I take 'em off
with my foot?
263
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:15,295
Sure.
264
00:11:19,783 --> 00:11:22,418
Come on, you.
265
00:11:29,009 --> 00:11:30,410
Good evening.
I'm Tom Tucker.
266
00:11:30,477 --> 00:11:32,478
Our top story:
Authorities are still searching
267
00:11:32,546 --> 00:11:35,348
for the culprits in a series
of horrific acts of destruction
268
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,584
all across-- scroll down, guys--
269
00:11:37,651 --> 00:11:39,052
the globe.
270
00:11:39,119 --> 00:11:40,353
That could've fit on there.
271
00:11:40,421 --> 00:11:42,155
There was a long space
at the end of that line.
272
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,207
My God, it's you,
isn't it?
273
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,491
It's you and Penelope
274
00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:47,160
who've been doing
all of these horrible things.
275
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,678
So? I've always been
about world domination.
276
00:11:48,746 --> 00:11:51,014
What the hell did you think
I was talking about when I said,
277
00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,448
"Victory shall be mine"?
278
00:11:52,516 --> 00:11:54,484
You have not said that
in a very long time.
279
00:11:54,552 --> 00:11:55,752
Well, I'm back on it.
280
00:11:55,819 --> 00:11:58,421
Stewie, Penelope is taking you
down a dark path.
281
00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:00,340
Look, in the past
you've done terrible things,
282
00:12:00,391 --> 00:12:01,808
but it's always been
about the pursuit
283
00:12:01,876 --> 00:12:03,776
of your greater goal
of world domination.
284
00:12:03,844 --> 00:12:07,413
But this girl-- she just creates
chaos for the sake of chaos.
285
00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:08,548
So, what are you saying?
286
00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:10,183
I'm saying she's
a bad influence on you,
287
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,818
and you should stop spending
time with her.
288
00:12:11,886 --> 00:12:13,086
I shall do no such thing.
289
00:12:13,153 --> 00:12:14,654
Penelope is wonderful.
290
00:12:14,722 --> 00:12:16,122
We're going to be
together forever.
291
00:12:18,158 --> 00:12:20,410
Well, Rupert,
this is a big mess.
292
00:12:20,494 --> 00:12:22,462
What the hell were you
doing talking to him?
293
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,136
You know who I think
is an ugly slut?
294
00:12:30,204 --> 00:12:31,237
Miss Sharon.
295
00:12:31,305 --> 00:12:32,739
Miss Sharon
from your day care?
296
00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:33,806
Yes.
297
00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:35,575
This is a map of her house.
298
00:12:35,643 --> 00:12:36,943
I thought we could
burn her in her bed
299
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:38,077
while her children watch.
300
00:12:38,145 --> 00:12:39,512
You know, Penelope,
301
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:42,315
maybe we don't have
to kill someone every day.
302
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:44,500
There are other things to do.
303
00:12:44,568 --> 00:12:45,418
Like what?
304
00:12:45,486 --> 00:12:46,552
I-I don't know.
305
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:48,187
You know what? Forget it.
306
00:12:48,255 --> 00:12:50,640
I-I think Brian just got
in my head a bit. That's all.
307
00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:51,808
Brian?
308
00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,576
Why? What did Brian say?
309
00:12:53,644 --> 00:12:54,844
Oh, nothing.
310
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:57,213
He just thinks that you're
a bad influence on me.
311
00:12:57,281 --> 00:12:59,215
T-Thinks I should stop
seeing you.
312
00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:00,516
He does?
313
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,435
How dare he!
314
00:13:02,503 --> 00:13:03,670
Babe? Babe?
315
00:13:03,737 --> 00:13:04,937
Don't worry about it,
all right?
316
00:13:04,989 --> 00:13:07,290
Stewart, do you love me?
317
00:13:07,358 --> 00:13:08,825
More than anything.
318
00:13:08,892 --> 00:13:11,160
Then swear on that love
that you'll do what I ask.
319
00:13:11,228 --> 00:13:12,362
Just name it.
320
00:13:12,429 --> 00:13:14,030
Kill him.
321
00:13:14,098 --> 00:13:15,732
Kill Brian for me.
322
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,339
Family Guy is brought to you
323
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,364
by AXE Body Spray.
324
00:13:21,588 --> 00:13:24,090
AXE Body Spray:
Spray it on after gym class
325
00:13:24,158 --> 00:13:26,175
instead of getting beat up
in the shower.
326
00:13:26,243 --> 00:13:28,528
Kind of weird those guys
want to fight you naked, huh?
327
00:13:28,595 --> 00:13:29,696
AXE Body Spray.
328
00:13:37,618 --> 00:13:39,953
Oh, God, I can't kill Brian.
329
00:13:40,021 --> 00:13:41,321
Even for Penelope.
330
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,440
He's my dog, my friend.
331
00:13:43,507 --> 00:13:44,941
Well, I wonder what words
332
00:13:45,009 --> 00:13:47,160
are gonna come
out of this pen today.
333
00:13:47,228 --> 00:13:48,595
All right, I can do this.
334
00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:10,216
Oh, who am I kidding?
335
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:11,835
I can't do this.
336
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:26,283
♪ You're lookin'
kind of lonely, girl ♪
337
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:30,870
♪ Would you like someone new
to talk to? ♪
338
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:33,873
♪ Oh, yeah, all right ♪
339
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:37,377
♪ I'm feelin'
kind of lonely, too ♪
340
00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:39,162
♪ If you don't mind ♪
341
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:43,366
♪ Can I sit down here
beside you? ♪
342
00:14:43,434 --> 00:14:46,603
♪ Oh, yeah, all right ♪
343
00:14:46,671 --> 00:14:50,624
♪ If I seem
to come on too strong ♪
344
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:53,426
♪ I hope that
you will understand ♪
345
00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:55,929
♪ I say these things
'cause I'd like to know ♪
346
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:59,149
♪ If you're as lonely as I am ♪
347
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:03,820
♪ And if you'd mind sharing
the night together ♪
348
00:15:03,888 --> 00:15:06,706
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
349
00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:09,926
♪ Sharing the night together ♪
350
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:13,163
♪ Whoa-oh, yeah... ♪
351
00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:18,268
I don't care how many children
you've lost in childbirth.
352
00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:19,869
You're fired.
353
00:15:19,937 --> 00:15:21,471
But I was only having a child
354
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:22,906
because you
and the mister...
355
00:15:22,973 --> 00:15:27,043
You don't get to speak
of me and the mister!
356
00:15:27,111 --> 00:15:29,295
Ah, Stewie.
So did you do it?
357
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:32,165
Have you removed that wretched
cur from our existence?
358
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,768
I just couldn't bring myself
to kill him, Penelope.
359
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:37,070
Brian is my best friend.
360
00:15:37,138 --> 00:15:38,638
Perhaps you're right.
361
00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:40,840
Perhaps it was wrong of me
to ask you to do such a thing.
362
00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:42,409
Oh, thank you.
363
00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:44,744
I'm so glad you're being
so understanding about this.
364
00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:47,313
I was actually dreading
having to tell you about this.
365
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:48,915
Bleah.
366
00:15:48,983 --> 00:15:51,351
It appears I'll have
to kill him myself.
367
00:15:51,419 --> 00:15:52,485
What?!
368
00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:54,487
I knew you were too weak
to do this.
369
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:55,955
You're nothing but a coward.
370
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,807
No, Penelope, wait!
371
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,260
Strong women always
turn out to be nightmares.
372
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,961
Like Joan of Arc.
373
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,531
Hey, guys,
I'm not like other girls.
374
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:07,133
I kill people and burp
and watch so much porn.
375
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:09,035
Isn't that cool?
No.
376
00:16:09,103 --> 00:16:10,737
I like a lot
of goofball comedies
377
00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:12,472
that other chicks don't like.
378
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:15,008
My favorite thing to play
is Call of Duty.
379
00:16:15,076 --> 00:16:18,144
Look me up.
I'm GuitarGurrrl76.
380
00:16:18,212 --> 00:16:19,712
Let's burn this chick
at the stake.
381
00:16:19,764 --> 00:16:20,980
I love steak!
382
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,148
Other girls don't.
383
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:23,817
I'm actually more like a dude.
384
00:16:23,884 --> 00:16:25,402
Hey, guys,
don't come in my room.
385
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:27,837
I might be rubbin' one in.
386
00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:33,226
Peter, this is ridiculous.
387
00:16:33,294 --> 00:16:34,994
It's time for you
to come home.
388
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,496
I live here now, Lois.
389
00:16:36,564 --> 00:16:39,065
Look, I'm sorry
that I ever got us separate...
390
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,500
Is that a bracelet
you're wearing?
391
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,951
It's a giggity band, Lois.
392
00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:43,420
You wouldn't understand.
393
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,021
Look, Peter,
if you come home now,
394
00:16:45,089 --> 00:16:46,523
we can get our old bed back,
395
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:48,491
and you can snuggle with me
as much as you want.
396
00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:49,926
Well...
397
00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:51,728
You promise?
398
00:16:51,796 --> 00:16:53,196
I promise.
399
00:16:53,264 --> 00:16:56,566
'Cause, you know,
I missed cuddling with you, too.
400
00:16:56,634 --> 00:16:57,567
You did?
401
00:16:57,635 --> 00:16:59,469
I sure did.
402
00:16:59,537 --> 00:17:01,721
Well, then, hey...
403
00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:04,140
what do you say we go home, huh?
404
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,309
Sounds good to me.
405
00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:16,002
Oh, Brian, there you are!
406
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,237
Thank God.
Oh, hey, Stewie.
407
00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:18,571
Did you make that coffee?
408
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:20,240
Um, no, it was here
when I came in.
409
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,375
I assume Lois made it.
Don't drink that!
410
00:17:22,443 --> 00:17:24,644
Hey, that mug was my crew
gift from "Class Holes."
411
00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:26,312
Did you take a bite
out of this donut?
412
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,981
Yeah, it was from a
box on the counter.
413
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,249
So what?
How long ago?
414
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,383
I don't know. Five minutes?
415
00:17:30,451 --> 00:17:31,701
There's still time.
416
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,658
God, Stewie, are you
out of your mind?
417
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:40,794
Trust me, I'm only doing
what's best for you.
418
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:43,413
Well, I do feel pretty
thin and wonderful.
419
00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:45,014
And I still got
to eat the donut.
420
00:17:45,082 --> 00:17:46,432
Why isn't everybody
doing this?
421
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,151
They are.
422
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,155
I've got a package here
for Brian Griffin.
423
00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:53,239
Oh, that's me.
424
00:17:53,307 --> 00:17:54,741
Brian, no!
425
00:17:57,895 --> 00:17:59,646
Stewie, what the hell
is going on?
426
00:17:59,713 --> 00:18:01,381
I'm so sorry, Brian.
427
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,299
Penelope told me
I had to kill you
428
00:18:03,384 --> 00:18:04,784
because you said
we should break up,
429
00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,452
but I couldn't bring myself
to do it.
430
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,855
So then she said
she was gonna kill you and...
431
00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:11,357
This-this is not for you.
432
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:13,660
That was weird.
433
00:18:13,727 --> 00:18:14,828
W-What was he doing?
434
00:18:14,895 --> 00:18:16,546
Anyway, Penelope's
trying to kill you!
435
00:18:16,614 --> 00:18:18,281
I told you she was bad news.
436
00:18:18,349 --> 00:18:19,949
Look, let's just get you
someplace safe.
437
00:18:21,352 --> 00:18:22,602
Dude, get out of here.
438
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:28,241
Stewie, step aside.
439
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,193
Penelope,
I can't let you do this.
440
00:18:30,261 --> 00:18:31,561
Stewie, she's
one year old.
441
00:18:31,645 --> 00:18:32,879
I think I can
handle this myself.
442
00:18:36,784 --> 00:18:38,785
All right, Stewie, tag in.
443
00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:50,230
Slo-o-w mo-o-o-tion
di-i-ving at yo-o-u!
444
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,017
Anti-gravity gun!
445
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,885
This is beyond my technology.
446
00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:14,821
Perhaps if I detonate
an electromagnetic pulse,
447
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:15,888
it will disable it.
448
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,628
Stay away from my dog.
449
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,746
Very well, Stewie. I shall.
450
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,381
But just one thing.
451
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:16,332
What?
452
00:20:38,339 --> 00:20:39,772
That was...
453
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,507
beautiful.
454
00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:43,776
I'm gonna tell my friends
I banged her.
455
00:20:43,844 --> 00:20:47,844
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
456
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,117
Hey, thanks for
saving my life.
457
00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:52,769
Well, it was the least
I could do.
458
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,588
Obviously, it turns out
you were right about Penelope.
459
00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:56,789
You okay?
460
00:20:56,857 --> 00:20:58,057
I will be.
461
00:20:58,125 --> 00:20:59,392
I will be, babe.
462
00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:00,560
Oh, hey, Meg.
463
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:01,711
What have you been up to?