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00:00:01,897 --> 00:00:05,161
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,261 --> 00:00:08,547
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,631 --> 00:00:12,033
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:15,003
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:15,071 --> 00:00:18,824
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:18,891 --> 00:00:21,827
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:21,894 --> 00:00:23,428
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,513 --> 00:00:24,846
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,897 --> 00:00:26,612
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:30,137
♪ Family Guy 10x23 ♪
Internal Affairs
Original Air Date on May 20, 2012
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00:00:30,138 --> 00:00:33,638
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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00:00:34,824 --> 00:00:37,359
And now,
Quahog Channel 5 presents
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00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:39,628
"Movie and a Bath
with a Guy Named Lou."
14
00:00:39,696 --> 00:00:41,680
Hey. It's Saturday night,
and you know what that means.
15
00:00:41,748 --> 00:00:43,498
We're gonna take a bath
16
00:00:43,566 --> 00:00:46,685
and watch the 1984
interesting movie, Gremlins.
17
00:00:46,753 --> 00:00:48,604
Now, the Gremlins are funny.
18
00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:50,272
I don't know
if those things are puppets
19
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:51,923
or they put costumes
on dogs or something,
20
00:00:51,991 --> 00:00:54,610
but let's press "play"
and find out, huh?
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00:00:54,677 --> 00:00:57,245
You can't get them things
wet, by the way,
22
00:00:57,313 --> 00:00:59,948
but don't worry,
this don't affect that.
23
00:01:02,151 --> 00:01:03,652
We interrupt this
program for some
24
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,087
breaking news,
which is why
25
00:01:05,154 --> 00:01:06,722
I'm still
chewing a bagel.
26
00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:08,357
Mmm.
27
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:09,891
Just-just roll
the footage.
28
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,560
A major drug bust
in Quahog today
29
00:01:11,628 --> 00:01:14,980
as police seized
over 100 kilos of cocaine.
30
00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:16,281
Okay, I'm done.
31
00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:17,816
That's right, Joyce.
Apparently,
32
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:20,235
there were 100 kilos of cocaine
right here in Quahog,
33
00:01:20,286 --> 00:01:22,571
and yet my guy can't get dick.
34
00:01:22,622 --> 00:01:24,206
Singled out
for special recognition
35
00:01:24,273 --> 00:01:25,907
in orchestrating
today's drug bust
36
00:01:25,975 --> 00:01:27,959
was Officer Joe Swanson.
37
00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:30,746
It feels good to know that,
thanks to me and my colleagues,
38
00:01:30,813 --> 00:01:32,814
a lot fewer people
will be injecting cocaine
39
00:01:32,882 --> 00:01:34,750
into their penises tonight.
40
00:01:34,817 --> 00:01:35,817
Is that a thing?
41
00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:36,952
It's a great thing.
44
00:01:41,591 --> 00:01:42,991
Hey, thanks, everybody.
45
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,460
Hey, guys.
Hey, Joe, I saw you on TV.
46
00:01:45,528 --> 00:01:47,262
Now I have to go
through the five stages
47
00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:48,597
of having a celebrity friend.
48
00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:50,632
Oh, you're on TV!
That's so cool!
49
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,167
We're going right
to the top together.
50
00:01:52,235 --> 00:01:53,969
Oh, you think
you're better than us, huh?
51
00:01:54,037 --> 00:01:55,237
Just one
stroke of luck,
52
00:01:55,304 --> 00:01:56,571
and you're there
and I'm here.
53
00:01:56,639 --> 00:01:58,740
I'm sorry I overreacted.
Look, you got to be careful.
54
00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:00,809
You need someone looking out
for you, who knows you.
55
00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:02,811
Someone you can trust.
Give me some money!
56
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:05,180
Man, that was some pretty
impressive police work, Joe.
57
00:02:05,248 --> 00:02:06,848
Thanks, Quagmire.
I'll be honest,
58
00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,351
it was nice to be acknowledged
by the chief for once.
59
00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:10,986
Usually, he's just
reminding me
60
00:02:11,054 --> 00:02:12,954
that whatever punk
I'm roughing up ain't worth it.
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00:02:13,005 --> 00:02:16,258
You son of a bitch!
I ought to kill you right here!
62
00:02:16,325 --> 00:02:18,794
Hey! This punk's
not worth it.
63
00:02:18,861 --> 00:02:20,128
You're right.
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00:02:22,665 --> 00:02:24,166
You're not worth it.
65
00:02:26,936 --> 00:02:29,988
So, listen, if you guys
aren't doing anything later,
66
00:02:30,056 --> 00:02:32,858
the chief's throwing me a little
party to celebrate my bust.
67
00:02:32,925 --> 00:02:35,227
I am going to let Quagmire
answer first.
68
00:02:35,294 --> 00:02:36,661
Yeah, I'll go.
I shall go, too.
69
00:02:36,729 --> 00:02:39,481
Oh, great. I'll see
you guys tonight.
70
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:44,336
Oh, God, buddy, I'm sorry.
71
00:02:44,404 --> 00:02:45,437
You okay?
72
00:03:05,374 --> 00:03:07,275
You bastard!
73
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,719
Well, now I've seen
Woodrow Wilson naked.
74
00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:10,862
Hey, Bonnie, I made a
major drug bust today.
75
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,564
The biggest one the
force has ever seen.
76
00:08:12,631 --> 00:08:14,165
That's great, Joe.
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00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:15,867
You don't seem
very excited.
78
00:08:15,935 --> 00:08:17,702
I mean, this is a
huge deal for me.
79
00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:20,004
The chief is even throwing
me a party tonight.
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00:08:20,072 --> 00:08:21,706
I don't know
if I can take another
81
00:08:21,774 --> 00:08:23,441
evening of
sympathetic eye contact
82
00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:25,443
from all
the other wives.
83
00:08:26,979 --> 00:08:29,748
Well, just so you know,
this is a really big deal.
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00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:33,184
They even asked me to be a guest
on Muy Importante!
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00:08:37,006 --> 00:08:39,441
Muy Importante!
86
00:08:43,028 --> 00:08:45,663
Muy Importante!
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00:08:49,368 --> 00:08:52,303
Muy Importante!
88
00:08:52,371 --> 00:08:55,874
Muy Importante!
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00:08:55,941 --> 00:08:58,543
Muy Importante!
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00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:01,946
A donkey just bit
a child in the hallway.
91
00:09:06,685 --> 00:09:08,887
Wow, I've never been
to a cop bar before.
92
00:09:08,954 --> 00:09:10,155
Yeah, look at
the bartender.
93
00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:11,990
I bet working here,
she's one of those women
94
00:09:12,057 --> 00:09:14,125
who's tough as nails
and good at giving sass.
95
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,529
What will it be, fellas?
96
00:09:17,596 --> 00:09:19,898
I'd like to cram both your boobs
into a martini glass.
97
00:09:23,102 --> 00:09:25,036
I-I think she's just
a normal woman.
98
00:09:25,104 --> 00:09:26,871
To Joe Swanson!
99
00:09:26,939 --> 00:09:28,139
And the biggest
drug bust
100
00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:29,474
in the history
of Quahog!
101
00:09:33,095 --> 00:09:35,914
Officer Swanson, I just wanted
to say congratulations.
102
00:09:35,981 --> 00:09:37,549
I'm Nora. I just joined the
force.
103
00:09:37,616 --> 00:09:38,900
Nice to meet you.
104
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:40,902
Wow, I've heard
so much about you.
105
00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,804
You're like a legend
at the academy.
106
00:09:42,872 --> 00:09:44,506
Is it true you
got straight A's
107
00:09:44,573 --> 00:09:46,440
in Officer Henderson's
Overintensity Workshop?
108
00:09:46,492 --> 00:09:48,092
You're damn right I did!
109
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,094
Well, you did some
great work today.
110
00:09:50,162 --> 00:09:51,796
And I mean
regular-person great,
111
00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:53,131
not just
wheelchair-person great.
112
00:09:53,199 --> 00:09:54,966
Yeah, I guess.
113
00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:57,468
You seem a little distracted.
Is everything okay?
114
00:09:57,536 --> 00:10:00,038
Yeah, sorry,
I was just thinking about...
115
00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:02,607
someone should have come
tonight, but they didn't.
116
00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:04,275
Ah, it's nothing.
117
00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:05,677
That's good.
118
00:10:05,744 --> 00:10:07,946
Hey, Officer Swanson?
Yeah?
119
00:10:08,013 --> 00:10:10,415
You know how they say
never meet your heroes?
120
00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:12,400
Well, they don't say anything
about kissing them.
121
00:10:13,686 --> 00:10:15,320
Whoa!
122
00:10:15,387 --> 00:10:17,155
Geez, every cop
in town is here.
123
00:10:17,223 --> 00:10:19,691
I know. Who do you think is
taking care of the city?
124
00:10:19,758 --> 00:10:21,309
No.
125
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,710
No.
126
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:24,212
No.
127
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,646
No.
128
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,900
What the hell?
Come on!
129
00:10:28,968 --> 00:10:30,735
No drive. Is wet.
130
00:10:37,483 --> 00:10:39,200
Hey-hey, fun party
last night, Joe.
131
00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:41,069
You guys, I got something
to tell you.
132
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:43,805
The weirdest thing happened
to me at that party.
133
00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:45,907
I got kissed
by this chick cop.
134
00:10:45,975 --> 00:10:48,309
No way! What's she look like?
Is she hot?
135
00:10:48,377 --> 00:10:49,744
Well, I don't know. Uh...
136
00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:51,946
Is Elizabeth Perkins hot?
137
00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:55,550
I... I, uh...
I-I don't... I don't know.
138
00:10:55,618 --> 00:10:57,452
Way to go, Joe.
Did you bang her?
139
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,587
What? Of course
not, Quagmire.
140
00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:00,922
I mean, I'm a
married man.
141
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:02,524
I could never
cheat on Bonnie.
142
00:11:02,591 --> 00:11:03,558
Well, under normal
circumstances,
143
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:04,792
you'd be right
to say that,
144
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:05,927
but in this case,
145
00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:07,462
cheating would be
the only fair thing.
146
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,930
What? What are you
talking about?
147
00:11:08,998 --> 00:11:11,332
Come on. Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
148
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,835
Oh, yeah. I don't want
to talk about that.
149
00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:15,703
Joe, how can I put this
delicately?
150
00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:19,174
He used his stinky French wiener
to defile her.
151
00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:22,210
Wow. That's a...
real hit above the belt.
152
00:11:22,278 --> 00:11:25,313
But I'm still not sure that's
a reason to betray Bonnie.
153
00:11:25,381 --> 00:11:27,749
Come on, Joe. Sleeping with
this girl wi even things up.
154
00:11:27,816 --> 00:11:30,201
You can't have that kind of
imbalance in your relationship.
155
00:11:30,269 --> 00:11:33,071
In fact, you owe it to Bonnie
to have sex with this woman.
156
00:11:33,138 --> 00:11:34,472
It's for the good
of your marriage.
157
00:11:34,573 --> 00:11:35,957
Yeah, you should
go for it, Joe.
158
00:11:36,025 --> 00:11:37,926
Secrets are what
keep a marriage fresh.
159
00:11:37,993 --> 00:11:39,661
I have a CB radio
in the basement.
160
00:11:39,728 --> 00:11:42,297
I go down there a couple times
a week to have CB sex.
161
00:11:42,364 --> 00:11:43,731
Lois has no idea.
162
00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:45,700
Breaker breaker one-nine.
What's your 20?
163
00:11:49,872 --> 00:11:53,041
Ah, it's so hot
just knowing you're in a truck.
164
00:11:56,078 --> 00:11:58,162
Good morning,
Officer Swanson.
165
00:11:58,230 --> 00:11:59,864
Oh, hey... Nora.
166
00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:01,599
Uh, listen, I...
It's okay, Joe.
167
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,901
You don't need
to explain.
168
00:12:02,968 --> 00:12:04,903
I stepped over the line
at the bar last night.
169
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,321
I'm... I'm sorry.
170
00:12:06,388 --> 00:12:07,989
It's not that I don't
find you attractive.
171
00:12:08,057 --> 00:12:09,924
I do. I just...
172
00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,459
I'm married and...
I get it.
173
00:12:11,527 --> 00:12:13,311
I totally
understand, Joe.
174
00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:15,413
Excuse me.
175
00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:16,514
Hello?
176
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:17,415
Joe?
177
00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:18,449
Bonnie?
178
00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:19,417
Oh.
179
00:12:19,485 --> 00:12:20,852
I-I meant to call someone else.
180
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,920
Oh.
181
00:12:21,987 --> 00:12:22,921
Yeah.
182
00:12:22,988 --> 00:12:24,422
So, how is everything?
183
00:12:29,695 --> 00:12:31,696
Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
184
00:12:31,764 --> 00:12:34,532
He used his stinky
French wiener to defile her.
185
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,768
Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
186
00:12:36,835 --> 00:12:39,804
He used his stinky
French wiener to defile her.
187
00:12:39,872 --> 00:12:41,472
Hey, Quagmire,
we're in Joe's head.
188
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:42,991
Hey, let's mess with him.
189
00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:44,692
I'm going to leave a fart
trapped in here.
190
00:12:47,346 --> 00:12:48,880
All right,
let's get out of here.
191
00:12:51,016 --> 00:12:51,950
I want you.
192
00:12:52,034 --> 00:12:53,067
I want you, too.
193
00:12:53,118 --> 00:12:54,218
Come on.
194
00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,421
I have a little
place we can go to.
195
00:12:56,488 --> 00:12:58,222
Wow. I've
never seen a sofa
196
00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,590
in a bathroom
stall before.
197
00:12:59,658 --> 00:13:01,626
Well, I'm the only
one who comes in here,
198
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:03,261
so I figured I'd
make it my own.
199
00:13:03,329 --> 00:13:04,629
How are you enjoying
your steak?
200
00:13:04,697 --> 00:13:06,230
Mmm. It's delicious.
201
00:13:06,298 --> 00:13:08,199
Let me put another
log on the fire.
202
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,635
Thanks, Joe.
203
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:12,470
It was getting
a little chilly in here.
204
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:14,138
That's 'cause you're
all the way over there.
205
00:13:14,206 --> 00:13:16,240
Well, let me
fix that.
206
00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:19,010
Oh, Joe.
207
00:13:19,078 --> 00:13:20,244
Oh, Nora.
208
00:13:20,312 --> 00:13:21,446
Did you bring
protection?
209
00:13:21,513 --> 00:13:22,680
Oh, don't worry.
210
00:13:22,748 --> 00:13:24,082
Nothing comes out
of the front.
211
00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:30,021
What a great day
for Joe and Bonnie.
212
00:13:30,089 --> 00:13:31,589
This is Kevin's
first birthday
213
00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:33,324
since he came home
from Iraq.
214
00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:35,126
Why does Kevin always sit
at the bus stop,
215
00:13:35,194 --> 00:13:36,661
but never gets on a bus?
216
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:37,996
Please don't
bring that up.
217
00:13:38,063 --> 00:13:39,864
Don't bring
anything he does up.
218
00:13:39,932 --> 00:13:41,632
Hey, you guys.
219
00:13:41,717 --> 00:13:42,967
You're right on time.
220
00:13:43,035 --> 00:13:45,786
Kevin just woke up screaming
from his afternoon nap.
221
00:13:45,838 --> 00:13:47,171
Mom, it's my
birthday,
222
00:13:47,239 --> 00:13:48,506
and you invited
your friends.
223
00:13:48,574 --> 00:13:50,375
All yours are dead!
224
00:13:50,442 --> 00:13:51,776
Hey, guys.
225
00:13:51,844 --> 00:13:53,644
Uh, can I talk to
you for a second?
226
00:13:53,712 --> 00:13:55,013
I did something
terrible.
227
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,015
Ah, hey, we've all
done terrible things.
228
00:13:58,317 --> 00:13:59,517
Attention, everyone.
229
00:13:59,585 --> 00:14:01,302
The plane is sinking,
so I need you all
230
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,204
to proceed onto the
floating slide.
231
00:14:04,973 --> 00:14:06,424
Dear airplane people,
232
00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:08,893
I owe you one floating slide.
233
00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:11,162
And just so you know,
the guy stewardess
234
00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:13,064
was angry gay, not happy gay.
235
00:14:13,132 --> 00:14:14,532
What does it say?
Nothing.
236
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,567
Just instructions
and stuff.
237
00:14:16,635 --> 00:14:18,152
Oh, my God. You actually
went through with it?
238
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:19,120
How was it?
239
00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:20,355
I don't know, you guys.
240
00:14:20,422 --> 00:14:21,723
I thought I would feel better
241
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:23,424
after I slept with Nora,
but I don't.
242
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:25,159
I just feel really guilty.
243
00:14:25,227 --> 00:14:27,195
And I'm not mad
at Bonnie anymore;
244
00:14:27,262 --> 00:14:29,030
I'm just mad at myself.
245
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:31,132
Guys, am I the only one
who thinks it's weird
246
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,333
talking about Joe
cheating on Bonnie
247
00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:33,818
in front of their baby?
248
00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,453
I think we can all benefit
249
00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:37,155
from a little strange
now and then.
250
00:14:37,222 --> 00:14:38,389
I know I will.
251
00:14:39,608 --> 00:14:41,142
Uh-oh.
252
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,910
The baby monitor.
Wha...?
253
00:14:42,978 --> 00:14:44,345
The baby monitor.
254
00:14:44,413 --> 00:14:45,847
You cheated on me?
255
00:14:45,914 --> 00:14:47,281
I-I, uh...
256
00:14:47,349 --> 00:14:49,350
You bastard!
257
00:14:49,418 --> 00:14:50,985
Bonnie, please.
258
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:52,653
After all
I do for you,
259
00:14:52,704 --> 00:14:54,839
this is how
you repay me?
260
00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:57,075
Well, how do you think
I felt when I found out
261
00:14:57,142 --> 00:14:58,493
you slept with that
French guy, huh?
262
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,328
I never slept
with Francois.
263
00:15:00,396 --> 00:15:02,497
What? But Peter said...
264
00:15:02,564 --> 00:15:04,348
Lois, didn't you say
that Bonnie slept with him?
265
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:05,783
No, Peter. I said
she wanted to.
266
00:15:05,851 --> 00:15:07,318
Damn it, Peter!
267
00:15:07,386 --> 00:15:08,603
Now, hold on.
268
00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:10,505
In my defense,
it is my experience
269
00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:13,074
that I am generally correct
about most things.
270
00:15:13,142 --> 00:15:14,709
You know what,
it doesn't matter.
271
00:15:14,777 --> 00:15:17,345
Bonnie's been driving me away
for some time now.
272
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:19,347
What? Driving you away?
273
00:15:19,415 --> 00:15:23,151
Do you have any idea
how hard it is living with you?
274
00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,286
They still have
one of those TVs
275
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:27,321
with the big, fat back.
276
00:15:27,389 --> 00:15:28,689
Maybe we should
all leave.
277
00:15:28,757 --> 00:15:29,590
No!
No!
278
00:15:29,658 --> 00:15:30,775
Everyone stays.
279
00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:32,343
I want this to
be a disaster.
280
00:15:32,411 --> 00:15:34,345
'Cause this has been
a long time coming.
281
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,564
You care about nothing
except yourself.
282
00:15:36,615 --> 00:15:37,949
You son of a bitch.
283
00:15:38,016 --> 00:15:41,202
I got a license to operate
a sex crane for you.
284
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:43,421
And I got earplugs so I
could put up with that
285
00:15:43,489 --> 00:15:45,189
horrible voice of yours.
286
00:15:45,257 --> 00:15:47,725
I'm not an impressionist,
but you get the idea.
287
00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:52,096
I perform purification rituals
on my body after we have sex.
288
00:15:52,164 --> 00:15:54,832
I find it cleanses
the immeasurable sadness
289
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:56,767
of having lain with a wretch.
290
00:15:56,835 --> 00:15:58,002
I want a divorce!
291
00:15:58,070 --> 00:15:59,470
You got it!
292
00:15:59,538 --> 00:16:01,506
Sorry. I opened
some of the gifts.
293
00:16:08,815 --> 00:16:11,082
Does the Swanson divorce
mean that I
294
00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:12,784
have to go live
with Grandma and Grandpa?
295
00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:14,553
No, Chris, it does not.
296
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:16,121
That doesn't even
make any sense.
297
00:16:16,189 --> 00:16:17,522
Peter, I can't believe
298
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:19,508
you would encourage Joe
to have an affair.
299
00:16:19,575 --> 00:16:20,959
Look, Lois, it's
in the Bible.
300
00:16:21,027 --> 00:16:22,394
What's in the Bible?
301
00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:23,762
I-I don't know.
302
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,564
Doesn't that always
cover it somehow?
303
00:16:25,631 --> 00:16:27,299
Peter, you blew up
their marriage.
304
00:16:27,366 --> 00:16:29,201
This was
a huge mistake.
305
00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:30,735
Well, we've all made mistakes.
306
00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:35,240
Eh.
307
00:16:38,845 --> 00:16:41,096
Why did the sign say
"not an exit"?
308
00:16:41,164 --> 00:16:43,265
It should have just said
"gorilla door."
309
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,971
So, it's really
over, huh?
310
00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,606
After all
these years?
311
00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:52,874
I'm afraid so.
312
00:16:52,942 --> 00:16:54,309
But let's be
honest, Peter.
313
00:16:54,377 --> 00:16:56,478
Bonnie and I seem
to have grown apart.
314
00:16:56,546 --> 00:16:57,812
Boy, I never would have seen
315
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,664
this day coming
when we first met.
316
00:16:59,732 --> 00:17:02,734
"Africa" by Toto was playing.
317
00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:05,287
♪ ♪
318
00:17:07,323 --> 00:17:10,659
♪ I hear the drums
echoing tonight ♪
319
00:17:10,743 --> 00:17:12,994
♪ But she hears only whispers ♪
320
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:16,982
♪ Of some quiet conversation ♪
321
00:17:19,635 --> 00:17:22,971
♪ I stopped an old man
along the way ♪
322
00:17:23,055 --> 00:17:26,124
♪ Hoping to find
some long forgotten words ♪
323
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:29,794
♪ Or ancient melodies ♪
324
00:17:29,845 --> 00:17:33,765
♪ He turned to me as if to say ♪
325
00:17:33,816 --> 00:17:38,353
♪ "Hurry, boy,
it's waiting there for you" ♪
326
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:46,194
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
327
00:17:46,279 --> 00:17:51,583
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
328
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:56,922
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa ♪
329
00:17:56,989 --> 00:18:02,677
♪ Gonna take some time
to do the things we never had ♪
330
00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,846
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
331
00:18:13,889 --> 00:18:15,240
Lois, I know
how to get
332
00:18:15,308 --> 00:18:16,775
Joe and Bonnie
back together.
333
00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:18,677
Joe just told me
how he and Bonnie met.
334
00:18:18,744 --> 00:18:21,096
So I figure, all we got to do
is find a way
335
00:18:21,163 --> 00:18:22,731
to recreate the magic
of that night.
336
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:24,015
Well, we better
do something soon,
337
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,283
'cause I just
talked to Bonnie
338
00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:26,801
and she's already
on D-Date.
339
00:18:26,869 --> 00:18:28,370
What the hell's D-Date?
340
00:18:28,437 --> 00:18:29,871
Diarrhea Date.
It's filthy.
341
00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:31,389
But she found someone,
342
00:18:31,457 --> 00:18:33,291
and they're doing whatever
they do tomorrow.
343
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,627
What the hell's
wrong with people?
344
00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:39,097
Thanks for inviting
me to lunch, Lois,
345
00:18:39,165 --> 00:18:41,132
but why are we eating
at a strip club?
346
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,435
I know the waitress here
from water aerobics.
347
00:18:43,502 --> 00:18:45,370
She said she'd
give us 20% off.
348
00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:48,706
All units, all units.
349
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:50,508
We have a disturbance
at the Fuzzy Clam.
350
00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:51,676
This is Officer Swanson.
351
00:18:51,727 --> 00:18:53,061
What's the problem?
352
00:18:53,145 --> 00:18:55,313
Well, one of the dancers
was dancing with a guy
353
00:18:55,381 --> 00:18:57,432
and saying, "You're my favorite,
you're my favorite,"
354
00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:59,184
but now she's dancing
with another guy.
355
00:18:59,235 --> 00:19:00,568
That's not a crime.
356
00:19:00,653 --> 00:19:02,070
Well, shouldn't it be?
357
00:19:02,154 --> 00:19:03,554
I'll be right there.
358
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,928
("Africa" by Toto playing)
359
00:19:09,996 --> 00:19:13,114
Boy, I haven't heard this
song in a long time.
360
00:19:13,199 --> 00:19:15,083
Police! What's going on?
361
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,935
Bonnie?
362
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:18,236
Joe?
363
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,421
What are you
doing here?
364
00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:20,588
I'm here with Lois.
365
00:19:20,673 --> 00:19:22,007
What are you doing here?
366
00:19:22,074 --> 00:19:23,875
I got a call.
367
00:19:23,926 --> 00:19:26,594
Is that... is that
"Africa" by Toto?
368
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:28,079
Yeah.
369
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,597
That's our song.
370
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:31,216
It is.
371
00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:35,637
♪ But she hears only whispers
of some quiet... ♪
372
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:38,056
Well, it seems like
things are fine here.
373
00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:40,108
Listen, Bonnie,
I, uh...
374
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:42,193
I just want to
say I'm sorry.
375
00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:44,929
I was a real ass,
and I miss you.
376
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,731
I'm sorry, too.
377
00:19:46,782 --> 00:19:49,901
I know I haven't been
that easy to live with lately.
378
00:19:49,952 --> 00:19:52,570
Okay.
379
00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:55,623
Well, I'm going
to go now.
380
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:58,626
Joe, wait.
381
00:19:58,711 --> 00:20:01,496
You want a lap dance, mister?
382
00:20:03,632 --> 00:20:05,783
No. Sit down.
383
00:20:05,835 --> 00:20:08,053
I'm giving you one.
384
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,789
♪ The wild dogs
cry out in the night ♪
385
00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:13,641
♪ As they grow restless ♪
386
00:20:13,726 --> 00:20:18,229
♪ Longing for
some solitary company ♪
387
00:20:20,066 --> 00:20:21,182
Oh, Joe.
388
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:22,851
Oh, Bonnie.
389
00:20:22,935 --> 00:20:25,653
♪ He turned to me
as if to say... ♪
390
00:20:25,738 --> 00:20:27,522
Can you ever
forgive me?
391
00:20:27,606 --> 00:20:29,307
It's going to take
some time, Joe.
392
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,443
Rest of your life okay?
393
00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:38,199
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
394
00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:43,338
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
395
00:20:43,422 --> 00:20:46,841
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa... ♪
396
00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:50,926
== sync, corrected by elderman ==